Let The Arrow Fly
by LuckyiLexx
Summary: The events at Malfoy Manor play out differently for Hermione, setting off events that no one could have predicted. For once Severus loved and was loved in return, nothing would stop him; no Dark Lord, no Prophecy, and no past, present, or future. This novel has time travel, soul bonds, non-canon events. The ultimate pairing is HG/SS. Summary written by Kraco!
1. Prologue - The Shaft of Thought (813)

_ This is AU fiction. I'm still going to stay as canon compliant as I can, but be warned I'm CHANGING LOTS.  
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_Disclaimer: I don't own it or anything you recognize, I make no profits. All HAIL JKR!_

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**Prologue: The Shaft of Thought**

Severus Snape stood in complete silence gathering his thoughts before flicking his wrist, sending a silent wandless spell at the single muggle light bulb that lit what looked like a tiny closet turned lavatory. The mirror situated above a sink was barely big enough that he could see only his face and neck in it. On the same wall, beside the sink and mirror, was an equally small toilet that was made merely to be functional and nothing more. Opposite of those, spanning the width of the entire small bathroom, was the shower with a fogged glass door. Overhead the light bulb hummed with magically induced electricity swaying slightly.

Staring hard at his own pallid reflection he began speaking with the quiet dangerous tone that always sent his miscreant students scattering to escape.

"Listen closely. As I am sure you have deduced thus far, I am in your future. There is much in this future that has gone wrong, if you had only used more of your impressive faculties and made different choices this future would not be so dire. Alas I know myself well enough now that nothing short of telling you the consequences of your actions and in-actions will change how you will act over the course of your life. You MUST act as I have outlined in the journal you'll receive with this memory. Your happiness and life depend on your actions, not to mention the lives of so many others."

Severus paused, and looked down; tiredly passing a hand over his eyes. He took a shuddering breath before continuing,

"Forget your hatred of Potter and Black, and remember your affection for Lily." He smiled faintly as he seemed to remember better times. Then with renewed force he continued, "She is the reason you will do it all. In time the pain of loss will fade, but do not let her sacrifice go to waste."

He leaned heavily on the sink with his hand gripping each side till his knuckles turned white. His head hung between his shoulders and his limp, oily black hair curtained off his features as he wrestled for control of his emotions. He was known for his impassive features and minute control of his emotions, rarely if ever, expressing them for anyone to see. However, in the privacy the pathetic bathroom inside his childhood home he unleashed them freely. With any luck this would help drive these messages home for their intended recipient.

With grief and anger etched into his features it made him look more cruel, and aged than he was. He looked up into the mirror again and spoke tersely,

"Dumbledore cannot save Lily; He doesn't save her, and neither can you. That dotty old fool!" he growls, "Do not leave the future in his hands. Despite his methods he is in fact working for the greater good. But I do NOT agree with the cost of his plan to save the wizarding world."

He let out a long sigh before he continued.

"With this information I give you, you'll have it in your power to make sure more than one life is much more meaningful. In the set of memory vials I have sent you, each one has a date lock spell on it which will unlock at the appropriate time for viewing. It is too soon for you to see, to know all of what will happen. But I will say this of it now; your affection for Lily will help see you through your double life, but there will come a time when your devotion to Lily won't be enough to carry you through the darkness unbroken. The journal contains all of my hopes for your future when the Dark Lord is once and for all sent into oblivion. May you succeed in banishing this existence in which I live from reality and in to the realms of nightmarish imagining where it belongs."

With a second flick of his wrist the light went out and the memory faded to black.

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_A/N: Hello! So this is my first fanfiction story, so please be patient with me. This is just the prologue (not necessarily first chronologically either), but the rest is in progress. The story starts amid The Deathly Hallows but disregards everything after the trio enters Malfoy Manor. From there we will go back roughly 2 decades to see what younger Severus will do if he learned of his future.  
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_Thanks for Reading! I gift a review reward to every 100th reviewer; if you land the winning review I will do either fan art or one-shot based on your prompt. Check out my profile to see the who's won thus far! Be sure to leave a review!  
_

_iLexx_


	2. Pain, Misery, and Disharmony (4,897)

**_****It is assumed that you have already completed the full Harry Potter series, if you haven't and you don't want spoilers do not keep reading.****_**

**Content Warning:** This chapter is firmly rated PG-13 for "thematic element (whatever that means) lewd sexual references, torture, and language" if you are not comfortable with these you are warned, & you will be missed **:(**

Disclaimer: There are direct quotes pulled right from JKR's mouth in book 7. My chapter begins right in the thick of chapter 23. This will probably be the only time I take so many direct quotes for character lines as I was trying to weave my idea into what is already existing as fluidly as possible. So without further ado, NOT MINE! NO MONEY!

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**Chapter 1: Pain, Misery, and Disharmony**

"But surely," Bellatrix said quietly, "this is the Mudblood girl? This is Granger?"

Hermione felt her heart drop into her stomach. _This is it_, she thought, ___they've_ identified both Ron and I, they won't question if it's Harry now. Oh, what are we going to do! She lamented silently, with a faint whimper of fear escaping her lips as she watched their certain doom unfold.

"Yes, yes, it's Granger!" cried Lucius, "And beside her, we think, Potter! Potter and his friends, caught at last!"

"Potter?" shrieked Bellatrix, and she backed away, to get a better look at Harry with his swollen face. "Are you sure?" Upon receiving a terse nod from the elder Malfoy, she shrugs back her robe sleeves, "Well then, the Dark Lord must be informed at once!"

Hermione flinched and recoiled fearfully in the expectation of the Dark Lord's imminent arrival. But when Lucius intervened preventing Bellatrix from summoning the Dark Lord, she relaxed then began frantically scanning the room trying to figure out a way to get them out of the mess they were in. Preferably before Lucius and Bellatrix finished with their quarreling and actually did summon Voldemort.

She squirmed against her captor's grip, who the others called Scabior, hoping to get in a better position beside the snatcher that held Ron to her right. This snatcher had a fistful of stolen wands poking out of his back pocket, and she desperately tried to finagle a way to reach them with her hands tied behind her back.

Attempting to make it seem as if she was just struggling to get a way, Hermione purposely turned to the left facing her back Ron's captor, then fought to move away from them. As expected, her captor's attention was firmly on the power struggle between Bellatrix and Lucius and he jumped in front of her, throwing his weight into her he attempted to hold her in place with his size as advantage. As soon as he pushed he weight into her to counterbalance her struggling, Hermione stepped backward not resisting, allowing his force to push her into the back of the wand toting snatcher. Their bodies tangled briefly as Ron's snatcher righted himself giving Scabior a scowl. Hermione managed grab a few of the wands and quickly stuffed them up the left sleeve of her jumper moments before being manhandled back into place by Scabior's grip on her upper arms.

Their struggle had not gone entirely unnoticed. To prove he had everything under control under the piercing gaze of the Malfoys and the lunatic Lestrange, Scabior pulled her tightly to him, wrapping his left wand arm around her chest, forcefully jabbing his wand into the right side of her throat. "Be still poppet, we'll be alone soon enough." he cooed maliciously in her ear, while he lewdly ground his hardening groin into her bound hands between them. Hermione cringed, struggling what little she could in his tight grip, attempting to keep her arms positioned so as not to give away her hidden bounty, and jerking her face away from his rancid breath.

Fenrir Greyback had entered the argument between Bellatrix and Lucius, demanding recognition and payment for their capture. This, thankfully, drew the attention away from their scuffle, and Hermione stilled while waiting for another opportunity to make a move towards escape.

Bellatrix scoffed at Fenrir, "Take your gold, filthy scavenger, what do I want with gold?" at this she had successfully thrown Lucius off her arm. Straightening her corset haughtily she exclaimed, "I seek only the honor of his - of - " she trailed off and gained an increasingly a wide-eyed and frantic expression when she did a double take back toward Hermione. Something glinting in a shaft of sunlight had caught her eye.

Seeing Lucius rolling back his sleeve with a smug expression Bellatrix pounced on him, clamping down on his arm viciously, "STOP!" She shrieked "Do not touch it, we shall all perish if the Dark Lord comes now!"

Seeing that Lucius had obeyed, she quickly advanced on Scabior, her wand drawn and pointed murderously at him and therefore Hermione also. Hermione shrewdly watched, assessing the situation, looking for any opening to get closer to the boys and desperately trying not to tremble with fear.

What is that?" Bellatrix demanded, gesturing to the sword Scabior had shoved through the belt on his hip. Due to the struggle he'd ended up facing just so, putting the sword in full view of the room. The name of Godric Gryfindor engraved on the flat edge of the blade glinted in a rare shaft of light in the gloomy room.

" 'Tsa Sword," he gulped in response, his eyes darting between the curved wand and Bellatrix's livid mug.

"Give it to me." She demanded, with all the force and tenor ubiquitous of the privileged and rich who had never once been denied such a demand. Hermione felt Scabior tense behind her with indignation. However she noticed, he loosened his grip on her ever so slightly as he nervously fidgeted with his wand moving it into a more defensive position between him and the cruelly curved wand trained on him.

"It's not yours, missus, it's mine, I reckon I found it." He replied defiantly, standing up straighter and lifting his chin.

To Hermione, time seemed to slow in the next moment as she watched the rage light up Bellatrix's eyes while drawing back her arm to cast a forceful Stupefy. Scabior was ready, but slow to get his shield up with his arm wrapped around Hermione. As soon as Hermione had seen Bellatrix's rage flare, she ducked under Scabior's arm and dropped to the floor, dramatically pretending to have taken the Stupefy. Scabior did in fact block the spell, but the force of it knocked him backwards making Hermione's acting all the more realistic looking.

Fenrir and the other snatchers quickly shoved Harry and Ron toward Hermione, drawing their wands in defense of their comrade. Ron landing on his knees facing Hermione, could see her eyes peering out from behind her hair.

"Alright Mione?" Ron whispered frantically, ducking down when Scabior jumped up and roared, "What d'you think you're playing at, woman!" before sending return fire back at Bellatrix.

As the room erupted in spell fire, Hermione began gesturing wildly at Ron and shifting her arms to get Harry's attention behind her. Harry, who had squirmed his way into a kneeling position, looked down at her tapping hand through bleary swollen eyes. He saw her trying to pull a few wands out of her sleeve. Positioning himself Harry grabs one wand from her, while wriggling inside the Incarcerous chains to gain enough mobility in his wrist to execute a Finite. Upon his success he quickly freed Hermione and then turned the wand on himself, just as Hermione managed to free Ron.

Bellatrix had three snatchers neutralized frighteningly fast. By the time the trio had freed themselves of their bindings the three where laying in heaps unconscious and Bellatrix was holding Fenrir in a grovelling, low curtsy. His arms held wide by the powerful Obsequium Hex.* Knocking his wand out of the spell's imposed relaxed grip, Bellatrix hovered over him and whispering sharply into his ear, "Where did you get this sword?"

"How dare you!" Fenrir snarled ferociously, very obviously outraged by his humiliating position. "Release me, Woman!" and spittle flew from his mouth.

"Where did you find this sword!" Bellatrix repeated with disturbing calm. She rest the flat of the blade on his shoulder and made a slow sawing motion with the razor-sharp edge of the blade a mere hairs breadth from his neck. She continued the motion making eye contact with Fenrir, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at him. "Snape sent it into my vault in Gringotts."

Fenrir hissed at her when the blade made contact with his skin leaving a paper-thin but surprisingly deep slice dangerously near his pulse. She leered at him with cruel glee and his reaction.

"It was in their tent." he rasped, "Release me, I say!"

As if just remembering the presence of their captives, Bellatrix spun on them absently flicking a finite at Fenrir over her shoulder. Hermione reacted in that moment knowing they wouldn't get another opening.

"Expulso!" she shouted, aiming at Bellatirx's feet.

The force of the spell blasted Bellatrix backward into Lucius while Narcissa, Draco, and Fenrir dove to take cover behind furniture. Hermione pulled the boys down into a crouch before aiming over her shoulder at the windows that overlooked the courtyard driveway and gardens.

"Bombarda!"

The stained glass windows exploded sending shards of glass everywhere. Pulling Harry and Ron up by their intertwined hands Hermione shoved them toward the window and yelled,

"Go now! Quickly!"

Spinning back around in barely enough time, Hermione blocked a stunner hurled by a growling and bloodied Fenrir. Harry quickly scrambled over the window sill turning back to steady Ron on his feet. Then he moved to help pull Hermione out, while Ron jumped up to shield them from the incoming spell fire.

Once Hermione was clear of the window, they took off in a crouching run across the gardens towards the driveway, weaving in and out of the tall Arborvitae for cover. Unfortunately,halfway to the gate they caught the attention of a half-dozen lower ranked snatchers that had not been granted entrance to the house. The trio quickly ducked into an alcove between two of the tall shrubs that had a marble Grecian statue on one side, providing them at least three sides of cover to assess the situation.

"What now Hermione!" said Harry as he leaned out to the driveway to slow the pursuers with spell fire, Ron mimicking his actions for the other direction. Hermione racked her brain for ideas, pulling at her hair and looking around frantically.

"We're done for! Apparition wards are up, 'e gates the only way out." Ron panted trying to catch his breath.

"That's it!" Hermione exclaimed. Their pursuers nearly on top of them, Harry was about to dart out into the fray to go down fighting when Hermione ripped his glasses from his face.

"Mione!" Harry complained looking rather stunned. Hermione concentrated briefly then whispered, "Portus." before handing them to Harry just as they began to blink a glowing orange.

"Ron!" Hermione called. Ron turned around and took hold of the offered portkey which began to flash quickly indicating the end of the countdown. In the next instant an arm shot through the bottom of the shrubs grabbing Hermione's ankle, yanking her off her feet, and the portkey out of her hand.

"HERMI-" the boys cried out as they were ripped away to safety, her name incomplete on their lips as they disappeared in a swirl.

"NO!" Hermione yelled desperately reaching for them but knowing they were gone. She tried to kick off her attacker, her hands getting sliced up by the sharp decorative rock of the drive as she desperately sought for grip to get away. Rolling over to her back she threw a kick as hard as she could and caught the snatcher firmly in the jaw, his neck making a sickening snap, and he slumped into a heap on her legs. More hands where on her and she fought frantically, not really aware of where, or at whom she connect her flailing limbs with, fighting with the animalistic fury that accompanies desperation to survive.

A heavy fist with ugly curled nails took her down with a blow to the temple. "Stupid mudblood bitch!" Fenrir was furious that she'd helped Harry get away and that he had lost his bounty. He was even more angry that he was peppered with cuts, most still carrying the shards of glass from the window that she had literally exploded in his face.

Downed, dazed, and fighting to stay conscious Hermione perceived being picked up and tossed over a broad shoulder before she succumbed and then was carried into the house unconscious, unceremoniously dumped and bound to the middle of the drawing-room floor.

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Narcissa cast her eyes about her wrecked home with disgust at the disaster that lay before her._ Her sister always knew how to bring down the house_, she thought wryly. Summoning a house elf with a snap, "The drawing-room is out-of-order." she said to it offhand. The elf, bowed deeply and gushed "My apologies Ma'am!" as if the elf herself was the cause of the disaster. The demure elf then set to work, in under a minute everything was set to rights and in its original pristine condition, before she disappeared with a faint pop.

"Draco, move this scum outside," said Bellatrix, indicating the unconscious men. "If you haven't got the guts to finish them, then leave them in the courtyard for me."

"Don't you dare speak to Draco like—" said Narcissa furiously, but Bellatrix screamed.

"Be quiet! The situation is graver than you can possibly imagine, Cissy! We have a very serious problem!"

Bellatrix stood, panting slightly, looking down at the sword, examining its hilt. Then she turned to look at Lucius. She gazed insanely through him as she spoke, unnerving him and causing him to look about him nervously as if she saw someone there next to him that he did not.

"If this is indeed the sword from my vault - but - who could have gotten into it?" she muttered,

More to herself than to the others, she continued. "If the Dark Lord discovers this sword here he could easily find out someone was in my vault... if he finds out …" She went even more pale with fright at the thought of being discovered under legilimency. "I must ... I must know..."

"Lucius! Fetch Snape, I need him here immediately." Then pointing her wand at all present threateningly "No one inside this room will breathe a word of the boy being here, or this sword." She strode over to Fenrir and thrust out her empty wand hand to him which he eyed warily but didn't flinch.

"Cissy pay Greyback the bounty on all three for his oath of silence." Narcissa and Lucius both simultaneously began to express their outrage at being ordered about like house elves in their own house but were once again silenced by Bella's shrieking,

"Do it! You have no idea the danger we are in." Bellatrix began nervously twirling a long curl around her finger absent-mindedly. It was something Cissy hadn't seen her do since she was a child to comfort herself to sleep. Seeing her so completely terrified, as well as seeing her inadvertently burn a hole in the carpet with her wand without realizing, spurred Narcissa into action.

"Lucius be a love and fetch Severus." She said regally as she approached Fenrir who seemed to show he was willing to abide the terms and grasped Bella's arm. As Narcissa passed Draco she affectionately patted his cheek,

"Gather the rest Draco and place them in one of the empty dungeons." Then with a significant look at the nine now conscious snatchers, "Where they will exchange their memories WILLINGLY for their lives." to which they all nodded vigorously. Squeezing Draco's hand and giving him a satisfied smile, she went on "I'll attend you shortly to help." Her tone sounding as if she was merely telling him to go take a bath like the good son he was.

The room emptied leaving only an unconscious Hermione, bound to the floor, Bellatrix, Fenrir, and Narcissa.

Once Fenrir had the Gringotts note for the bounty in his hand he withdrew his hand from Bellatrix's before Narcissa could start the oath. Bellatrix hissed angrily at him, but he interrupted her outburst.

"What of the girl, I want her." He grinned lasciviously. "What are you're plans for her?"

Bellatrix's rage and glee reignited once again, "I'm going to torture every ounce of information out of her like I did the Longbottom's." she giggled tossing her hair about wildly, as she circled Hermione's unconscious body on the floor predatorily. "You can have her once she is broken." The last spoken in a sing-song tone that belied her insanity.

Once oath-bound, Fenrir retreated into a corner to heal his wounds banishing shards of glass as he worked, and waited for the ensuing show. Narcissa left promptly to join her son, sparing a brief worried glance at Hermione. Anyone looking would have interpreted the look as concern for her lavish rug about to be ruined with the girl's dirty blood.

Bellatrix cast an Ennervate at Hermione to bring her to consciousness, then without pause began questioning her about the sword. Hermione didn't pull herself out of her confusion fast enough to register her surroundings nor the first question. Then suddenly, she was forcefully brought to awareness under a heavy Cruciatus Curse.

While screaming and writhing in agony, Hermione was flooded with the happenings of the last few hours with cutting clarity. Being captured by the snatchers when Harry violated the Taboo. A near miss encounter with the Dark Lord, followed by the fight and almost successful escape of them all to Hyde Park. She sighed internally, she was at least relieved to know that Harry and Ron would be safe to catch their breath under the upside down tree; her favorite place in the whole park to visit as a child. It was a tree whose branches grew downward creating a dome of foliage around the central trunk. She loved to take her books in there and read by the light of the sun shafts between the leaves. Hermione was confident Harry and Ron would be able to summon help easily from there, as Death Eaters and Snatchers alike didn't venture that deep into Muggle London.

Hearing her own voice screaming sounded strangely foreign and separate from her and she felt as if she had stepped behind a thick Plexiglas wall. She could still see and hear what was going on, and to some extent feel the pain, but she was detached, separate from it.

"Huh, that's strange." She thought to herself. She watched as during her violent trashing under the prolonged curse, she managed to free one arm from the Incarcerous that had her tied to the floor. Without having control over her limbs in the slightest her arm recoiled reflexively, braining herself hard to the nose. The glass like barrier slipped and she felt the smarting pain of the impact and saw the stars in first person. "Was that occulemency?" she wondered absently.

Becoming bored at this point, Bellatrix lifted the curse, jumped onto Hermione's chest, while leering in her face. "I'm going to ask you again! Where did you get this sword? Where?" she demanded, her wild hair flaring about her not dissimilar to Hermione's own hair, just ragged, and a hideously inky black.

With the wind knocked out of her, Hermione's mouth gaped as she desperately tried to draw air. Finally she caught a painful breath,

"We found it—we found it—PLEASE!" She begged as Bellatrix jabbed her wand into her sternum and blast her again point-blank with another even stronger Cruciatus. It was so strong that Hermione was unable to even utter a sound in pain. Her entire body felt consumed at every nerve ending with unimaginable blinding pain.

Hermione flailed until Bellatrix wrestled her free arm down forcing her to end the curse prematurely or get brained herself from the dangerously whipping limb. Growling angrily Bellatrix tossed down her wand and pulled a wicked looking silver knife from inside her robes, bringing it out to scare Hermione. She caressed Hermione's cheek with the flat of the blade then licked it almost seductively, before slamming it into the floor millimeters from the girl's hand. Bellatrix then yanked it out of the floor, standing up, then began to circle Hermione ferally.

"You're lying, filthy Mudblood, and I know it! You have been inside my vault at Gringotts! Tell the truth, tell the truth!" Bellatrix screeched sounded more and more crazed the longer the torture session went on. She threw her head back and blasted Hermione a third time dancing about gleefully.

"Crucio!"

Again that curious glass shield slid into place in her consciousness and this time Hermione was sure that she has just triggered some innate self-defense mechanism. Even after years of reading increasingly vague references on Occulemency, she'd never been able to get any actual decent instruction on how to perform the skill. She had ended up trying a muggle method of meditation seeing as it was the only thing that she could come up with that she thought might help her "clear her mind."

Even stranger to her was the sensation that came along with the calculating cold distance from her own thoughts. _It's any wonder Professor Snape is the way he is. Being a master occulmens, living as a spy for so long with frequent contact with both existing legilimency masters. Was there ever a time that he wasn't firmly ensconced behind his shield. Distant. Separated._ Hermione thought. In that moment she felt she could understand the man better, her niggling doubts that he was not the traitor that killed Dumbledore in cold blood, solidified even more unconsciously. She settled with the thought that she'd need more information before she judged him a traitor all along. _He has saved us so many times. It simply doesn't add up. Not any of it_.

Sparing a moment to check her situation She mentally glanced up from her inner musings, _Yep still being tortured_.

Her inner self sighed in boredom, wandering about the cosy room created inside her mind. There was a fireplace with a small table in front of it just like at home, same creased pattern in the leather arm-chair her father loved. To the side directly opposite of her 'shield' of shatterproof glass, was rows and rows of endless bookshelves, like the ones she ones saw in the hall of prophesy but with less dust. Tapping her chin she thought. W_ell not exactly glass, Poly methyl methacrylate to be precise. Uhg who cares Hermione! You are imagining it in your head it's not made of anything at all but neurons infused with magic, focus!_ Her internal image of herself stomping exasperatedly toward the bookshelves for further inspection.

The books were all her memories and everything she had ever read and learned all carefully filed away. She could open one and view the memory like a movie on the pages or read the same book she read as a child at five. She laughed at herself, _If I told Harry and Ron that the mental projection of my mind was a library they tease me for eternity._

It seemed that she had been lost in her reverie for hours when she remembered that she was supposed to be lying a the floor being tortured inside Malfoy Manor. However surprisingly, when she came to her Shield and looked out, mere moments had passed since she last glanced up to check. _How strange_, She thought, _it seems time moves painfully slowly out there while I'm not watching. Well then, lets get it over with._ And with that she sat in her familiar leather arm-chair and watching Bella's torture unfold while she tried to think of some way to make it stop.

"What else did you take, what else? ANSWER ME! CRUCIO!" Bellatrix screamed with rage as her paranoia began to take over her infinitesimal shred of sanity.

As soon as she asked the question Hermione was struck by a plan but was unable to answer while under torture. There was no way she would drop the shield to step back into herself under that amount of pain. She winced just watching and feeling the faint echo that reverberated through her shield. _Merlin's bollox you daft bimbo! Stop with the torture for a second so I can say anything._ Hermione said with great exasperation.

"How did you get into my vault?" Bellatrix tried a different tack, and Hermione stepped through her shield like it was water and back into herself. She was smugly impressed with this new information about her shield, but it lasted long enough for her to halfway exclaim "_Wicked_!" in her thoughts, before being veritably punched flat with the pain and agony racking her body. Tremors and aftershocks still racking her body, her nerve endings felt dipped into the furnace of a sun, the heat from the pain was so piercingly intense. Tears flowing freely from her eyes she found her voice,

"We've never been inside your vault... It isn't the real sword! It's a copy, ju - just a copy. It w- was left to Harry in Dumbledore's will" She croaked. She could feel the blood dripping down the rawness inside her throat. Her screams had torn through it causing it to stretch and split under the pressure. She choked on some blood, coughing and sputtering.

"A copy?" screeched Bellatrix. "Oh, a likely story!" But she was obviously considering it as a possibility. _There is just simply no way they could break into her vault it was impossible, well the Dark Lord had done it once... but HE is the Dark Lord!_ Bellatrix thought with fanatical reverence. Feeling like she had left Hermione too long without punishment she turned her wand on her a final time for good measure before she released the girl into Greybacks custody. _What was taking Lucius so long to bring Snape? This is unacceptable!_ Bellatrix poured her frustration into the already powerful curse. Not even the Dark Lord cast the Cruciatus as strongly as she did. Bellatrix would bleed her magic dry with the force of a single Cruciatus, which is why so many of her victims turned to jibbering idiots before their ends.

Hermione was completely blindsided by the Bellatrix's last-ditch at torture and as a result she had only just begun to raise her shield when the force of the blast hit her and her shield unthinkably shattered. The only sensible thoughts Hermione could muster was, _Broken?!_ in utter confusion and _RUN!_ in desperation to survive. She watched as she fled to the recesses of her mind as destruction and havoc was wreaked upon her library, not fully understanding the gravity of what it truly meant.

"What the DEVIL are you doing!" shouted a familiar silken voice. It was the last thing Hermione heard before finding a dark hidden corner deep inside her mind and curling up to hide until it was safe.

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**A/N:**

*The Obsequium hex, is actually an un-named hex in the books. Voldemort uses it on Harry in the graveyard of book 4, and then Bella uses it again on Fenrir in book 7. I simply found a latin word that seemed fitting of the spell. I don't know latin so I apologize if I am using it entirely wrong, I have put my faith in google translator.

You all have been phenomenal! I'm completely floored at your support and interest in my work. I was not expecting it at all. Thank you!

Props for the plot bunny go entirely to my husband (who will deny it) I give him credit for getting this now avalanche sized snowball.

**Where the story is going:** I will begin changing things that fall after the Golden Trio is captured by the snatchers in chapter 23 of Deathly Hallows, and then making up a new story entirely for the Marauder era and then progress the story back through the original Harry Potter universe timeline. **I'm changing things.**

**Please Review!**


	3. Her Burdened Frame (5,972)

Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine, it's all the lovely JKR's. no monies!

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**Chapter 2: Her Burdened Frame**

Headmaster Severus Snape approached the gate to Malfoy Manor with a purposeful step, slashing his wand with a swift slice through the air to open the wards and permit himself entrance to the grounds. Judging by the indignant sniff behind him he guessed that Lucius was likely in a tizzy over the lack of deference to him at his own home.

Lucius had informed Severus that the snatchers had captured the boy-who-lived-to-torment-him and his two friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Apparently the two bumbling idiots managed an escape through the sheer brilliance of Ms. Granger, that is if Lucius's account of the escape is to be believed. She had not gotten away, he guessed, due to that unfailing Gryffindor streak of fool-headedness. He held no doubts that she'd tried to sacrifice herself to save Potter and the dimwitted ginger sidekick. Be that as it may, he was still deeply worried about her fate being at the mercy of the most deranged and fanatical follower of the Dark Lord. Thus he was seen rushing up the drive with an air of impatience, all onlookers believing he was merely annoyed at being disturbed from his important work at the school.

Saying that it was never a good idea to leave Bellatrix Lestrange the task of interrogation, was a severe understatement. She'd always been slightly off her rocker in their own school days. While joining the Death Eater ranks had fed her blood thirst and depravity, Azkaban pushed her into full-blown insanity and that still occurred after the last time she had 'interrogated' someone. The victims, Frank and Alice Longbottom, ended up permanent residents in St. Mungo's.

A muffled scream reached their ears as Lucius and Severus mounted the stairs to the front entry. Severus paused allowing Lucius to escort him into the home. Upon opening the door the muffled scream became much louder as it issued from only a short distance away in the Drawing Room that was just off the side of the front entry. He gave Lucius a sharp look of disdain at the intensity of the scream, before he rushed into the drawing-room in high dudgeon, his cloak billowing behind him with a faint flapping whisper.

"What the DEVIL are you doing!?" He exclaimed rhetorically in a tone that to all who knew him, especially his students, feared to ever hear. Bellatrix ended the Cruciatus Curse she was holding on Hermione and flashed him a sadistic grin.

"Severus, so good of you to come." she said with a falsely saccharine voice.

"Bella," He nodded to her as acknowledgement. Seeing Ms. Granger tied to the floor with a broken and vacant expression of terror that he recognized immediately, he started to fear the worst. Pinching the bridge of his nose as if to stave of a headache he said cuttingly, "While I am aware that you are utterly crippled by your lunacy, surely you could scrub up enough brain power to deduce that I cannot get information out of a vegetable! Where is your restraint woman? You've broken her!" he said gesturing emphatically toward Ms. Granger. She lay in a twitching heap before them.

_Great Merlin, am I too late?_ Severus worried to himself. Bellatrix dipped her head looking embarrassed and enraged simultaneously. She always took his biting criticism of her rather badly, which only made him enjoy sniping at her more. "What is this great emergency interrogation that required you to pull me from my work at the school, Bella?" Severus redirected with a long-suffering sigh, once he was done making her squirm.

At this Bella narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Severus. Attempting to unnerve him she prowled around him with a snarling grin, "First, do tell me Severus. Whatever happened to the sword you were tasked to place in my vault for safekeeping. Surely you have not shirked your duty to our Lord, and forgotten, or Morgana forbid, misplaced it?" She questioned with an air of transparently fake concern.

It was plainly obvious that she would like very much to find and or place the blame with him. She was always trying to see him punished, always suspicious of his every action. Severus knew, from the line of questioning, the presence of Ms. Granger, paired with his recent "gifting" of the Sword of Gryffindor, that the artifact was probably found in the trio's possession. Bellatrix wanted to know why they had it. But considering it all, he felt there was something more to it than just the enticement to see him punished, she had an air of desperation about her, and it made him wonder.

"It's with great regret that I spoil your fantasies Bella, truly. You will find that the sword is in your vault and has been since the very day I was set the task of placing it there." He replied smoothly. "Though why you need to inquire it of me when a Gringott's goblin would be better able to answer those concerns -"

"In my vault you say! Then what is this!" Bellatrix shrieked triumphantly interrupting him, drawing the sword off an end table and swinging it on her finger in front of him tauntingly.

Severus raised a single brow at her with an expression of indifferent questioning. Sighing again, he held out his hand for the sword.

"May I?" he asked. He was wasting what was possibly very precious time to help Ms. Granger and attend what looked like extensive injuries. Unfortunately he had no choice but to play it out to maintain his cover. He could not show any concern, or give away any sense of urgency on her behalf.

In answer to his request to examine the sword Bellatrix tossed it at him with a wicked grin, knowing how sharp the sword was and no doubt hoping he would try to catch the priceless artifact.

In a rare public display of his abilities, Severus cast a silent Immobulus charm freezing it in midair at arm's length, doing so with little more than the upward flick of two fingers; a gesture synonymous with dismissal. Then unfazed by her attempt to injure him, Severus plucked the sword by its hilt midair and began examining it with care, holding it close to his face as he appeared to search it for any minute details.

Bellatrix looked mildly shocked at his apparent power and skill, then simply observed him with an appraising look, trying to make the new information fit into her estimation of him.

Severus already knew it was the real sword of Gryffindor, as he was the one to duplicate and then place the fake one in her vault, giving the real one to give to Potter as instructed. He was merely playing along while he tried to come up with a way to assure is cover was safe.

While he was thus engaged in his examination of the sword, Fenrir, who had apparently fallen asleep in a plush armchair to one side of the room, woke with a gasp and a frantic wide eyed look. He leaned forward holding his left arm to his chest, clearly in pain. The other three Death Eaters present were all very familiar with the pains from a dark mark summons. They looked at each other with an expression near amusement that he was caught by surprise in their presence. It was the equivalent to farting in your sleep in the presence of company, and a frequent cause for embarrassment among their ranks. No Death Eater ever wanted anyone to see them express their discomfort from a summons.

They were thoroughly surprised and nonplussed when he collapsed out of his chair onto the floor, pale as death, with a blue tinge to his lips. Setting down the sword, Severus went to his side and cast a diagnostic spell on him. He was dead. Heart attack induced by poisoning.

Severus pivoted, and he looked back at the sword then to Bellatrix with a calculating look, causing his robes to billow and whip around him and his lank hair fan out from his face from the swift movement.

_No one but high-ranking members of the Order would know the sword had absorbed basilisk venom five years ago, which was no doubt the source of the poisoning. Greyback must have been cut by it._ He thought.

Turning back to the dead werewolf he knelt beside him and ran his wand over him with a targeted locator spell. The wand indicated his neck was the source of the venom and upon further inspection he found a badly healed, but very fine cut, that had not entirely disappeared when he had tried to heal it. The skin was stitched back together, closing the wound, but it had an irritated pink coloring to it.

"Well Severus, what has happened to cause the wretch to expire upon my floor?" Lucius said with a haughty air, lifting a handkerchief to his nose as he toed the dead shoulder before him.

Severus could see Bellatrix's mimicking her brother-in-law's curiosity, which informed him that neither knew how to interpret the diagnostic spells he'd just cast. Jumping on the opportunity, he stowed his wand and stood up, authoritatively posturing by rocking back on his heel and flipping his hair nonchalantly.

"He's been cursed, the source being that small cut upon his neck. He must have encountered a cursed blade very recently; as I do not know of a cutting curse that results in a delayed heart attack, do you?" Knowing their answer would be a negative, he then smirked cruelly at Bellatrix, an expression akin to catching one with their hand in the cookie jar.

"You have a cursed dagger, do you not Bella? Was Fenrir unfortunate enough insult your teeth, wasn't that what happened to your last paramour?

Bellatrix stuttered, at a complete loss for words in being unable to decide whether to be defensive or enraged at his insinuations. After gaping for a few moments at him she snapped her mouth shut and ground her teeth in anger unable to come up with anything to say.

Lucius spoke up in her place with a pensive expression. "No, it wasn't her blade. It was the sword there, while she questioned him on how it came to be in his possession and she cut him with it. A mere paper cut. Just over and hour or two ago."

Lucius remembered. He then looked up losing the faraway look and gaining one of perplexity instead. In a tone of dismissal he said. "The Sword of Godric Gryffindor isn't a cursed blade, so that," Gesturing to the sword now laying back on the end table. "can't be the real sword." Lucius was convinced of it.

"Why not! If it fell into the wrong hands surely it could have been cursed." Bellatrix argued.

"My dear Bella, one cannot simply curse a weapon at will. Cursed weapons have to be forged with the curse inlaid into every step of its making, else every Tom, Dick and Jerry would be running around with one." Severus explained patronizingly with a roll of his eyes.

So far the plan was working. He need only convince them that THIS sword was only a copy of the real sword and he would be safe. They would then not question the status of the actual copy currently in residence inside the Gringotts vault.

Bellatrix didn't respond, she stood there frowning in thought. It was obvious she didn't like accepting this idea.

"What have you learned from the girl." Severus prompted, hoping they have finally reach a point in which he could attend to her.

Looking slightly abashed to be admitting defeat, she said "The girl first claimed they found it, but did not say where. I knew she was lying. I got the truth from her in the end it seems. She then claimed it was a copy, left to Potter in Dumbledore's will." She was gloating by the end of her delivery, hoping to impress them with her foreknowledge of the situation and trying to imply she knew it all along and was only testing them. She blew a strand of hair from her face and folded her arms authoritatively.

Severus silently applauded Ms. Granger's cunning in twisting the truth to her favor under such extreme duress. He was impressed with her abilities once again, it seems. He glanced at her covertly, she did not appear to be in any worse state than she was previously and no more than a quarter hour had passed since he had arrived. He turned to face Lucius when he interjected haughtily,

"I can confirm that. It was a widely discussed controversy that the late 'esteemed' Headmaster had the audacity to try to bequeath such a historical item that did not belong to him. The school governors where in outrage and ended up in front of the Wizengamot with the goblins again over whose property it was." Stated Lucius with a flick of his flaxen hair is shoulder and as breathless as a gossiping school girl. The only thing needed to complete the impression was for him to whisper it from behind his hand.

"Well it seems you have wasted my time after all, Bella." Severus said with annoyance. "Since I'm here I might as well be thorough and see if it is still possible to glean anything useful from the girl." Giving Bellatrix another reprimanding look, to which she returned a sinister glare.

"Lucius can you procure me a room in which I can work in peace? I will likely need some few hours, at least, to sort out anything from her mind after this disaster of an interrogation." Severus continued staring Bellatrix down disapprovingly.

Lucius nodded looking a bit mollified to see Bellatrix chastised, He'd had enough of her lording over him in his own home ever since he fell out of favor with the Dark Lord. He summoned a house elf giving it orders to first dispose of the werewolves' body, then to return and lead Severus to his second private study. The one not taken over by the Dark Lord when he was present in the Manor. Bellatrix yawned and with a disinterested air left the room.

* * *

Severus stepped up to Ms. Granger, observing her calculatingly before kneeling and running a few diagnosis spells. He cast a Finite at the spell binding her to the floor, and flicking the now loose ropes off of her. She was in bad shape. The many months they had spent on the run left her malnourished and underweight and in desperate need of a shower. She was likely not getting much sleep if the circles around her eyes were any indication. She registered high levels of fatigue, with new and old cuts and bruises all over her too thin frame. She had a concussion, and there was drying blood smeared across her face from a bloody nose, and broken lip. The Cruciatus curse inflicted by Bellatrix had left her nerves firing at random intervals in aftershock, causing her body to twitch erratically on occasion.

Why Dumbledore saw fit to harness mere children to fight his war, Severus would never understand. But seeing the most brilliant and intelligent student he had ever encountered while teaching, in such a state, set his blood to boil. No one would have ever guessed that he thought highly of her at all. They shouldn't. He had made sure of the wouldn't. It would be more damaging to his cover than most could realize to express any kind of pride or favoritism in a muggleborn student. But the truth about it was that he admired intelligence, and Ms. Granger certainly had that in spades. Her death would be a waste of so much potential raw talent. These thoughts only served to add to his increasingly embittered feelings toward his late mentor for the many sacrifices he didn't agree with.

_Why Albus?_ He thought.

With reluctance he looked up at her eyes. She had that same wide-eyed vacant expression. If he hadn't performed the diagnosis spells and seen the rise and fall of her chest he could easily believed that she was already dead from observing that flat unseeing expression alone. As he watched, single tear rolled down the side of her face.

"Granger, are you conscious?" He asked in an emotionless and clinical tone. She seemed to have heard him as her eyelids fluttered at the sound of her name.

A pop of apparition behind him notified him that the elf had returned to lead him to a the study.

Not wanting to risk jostling to bumping her head while levitating her to the study Severus opted to carry her. They made it to the study without encountering anyone and he carefully laid her on a chaise lounge and pulled another chair alongside it so he could quickly tend to her injuries.

He always kept a moderate assortment of healing potions on hand for himself in the breast pocket of his frock coat which had an undetectable extension charm on it. First aiming his wand at her he cast an extensive Tergio, removing any grime that was embedded in her various cuts. It helped at least lessen the dirt and blood caked on her skin as well making her look slightly better; if he didn't look at her eyes. Once that was done he felt confident in administering the healing potions, sure that no foreign matter would be closed into a wound causing an infection later.

Massaging her throat to induce swallowing as he administered each potion, his mind and gaze wandered to her eyes again letting his internal dialog ruin rampant. With a rather harried sigh he thought, _They are exactly the same as theirs_, he dreaded confirming his fears that her mind was truly destroyed. If she was just in shock and non responsive, the invasion of her mind would be a complete violation, one he was loath to perform on her. He didn't want to see her private thoughts, _but if she was indeed broken…_ either way he needed to know to be able to help her. He felt it was a risk he would have to take.

Severus still blamed himself for not being able to intervene in time to keep the Longbottom's from this same fate. He was absolutely disgusted with himself; loosing control the way he did after he learned of Lily's death. He had known months in advance that the Dark Lord was betting on Harry being the child of prophecy, he'd turned to Dumbledore as spy in exchange for Lily's protection and Severus had counted on Dumbledore to intervene._ For both family's_. The Dark Lord wouldn't take any chances either way, he was going to kill both infants. So it was planned to have Bellatrix keep the Longbottoms "tied up," so to speak, until the Dark Lord was done with the Potter's effectively wiping out any whisper of threat against him in one single night.

In the end it was all for naught. Lily and her worthless husband died at the hands of the Dark Lord, orphaning their son to be puppeted "for the greater good" by Dumbledore. Severus's heart clenched with guilt and despair over Lily again as it had for the last 17 years. But the emotion was quickly overwhelmed by his shame. Shame for the fact that, rather than doing his duty to his fellow Order members and saving two lives from insanity, he cracked. _Broke down sobbing like a snot nosed infant._ And left the Longbottoms in the malicious hands of Bellatrix Lestrange, not arriving till it was too late to save their minds.

This shame had driven him, and for years he struggled to perfect his legilimency in secret. He hoped to one day be able to use it to right that great wrong he had done the Longbottoms in his inaction. Covertly researching the nuances of the mind, he was now pretty certain of his theory that a powerful legilimen could enter the mind of such broken individuals, and help lead them back into sanity. Doing this by guiding them through the wreckage of their mind, helping them to put it back into some semblance of order necessary for cognitive thought processes. _In theory_, he thought with a hopeless note.

Legilimency was deadly useful as a spy. Much of the information gleaned for the Order had come from this ability. It was likely Severus was the only living Occlumens with the ability to actually repel an all out assault on the mind. Most people if they did learn to Occlude could only prevent surface grazing, something Dumbledore did unconsciously at all times. This surface grazing was the least invasive form of legilimency. It enabled the legilimens to get impressions of people's emotions, and their loudest thoughts. A person with an average ability to Occlude could be safe from this mildest form of legilimency, but even those people were very few.

When it came to skill, Severus was more than just an average legilimens. He was capable of the subtlety required for successful surface grazing for extended periods of time; though not indefinitely maintaining the action over multiple people as Dumbledore did. Severus was technically more powerful than the Dark Lord when it came to using subtlety. The Dark Lord never bothered with anything but the brute force of full mind invasion, thus he ultimately had only a minimal grasp of its uses and nuances. Instead of subtlety, the Dark Lord put a wealth of power and force into his invasions, forgoing all subtlety. His invasions have been known to cause the same damage backlash as Bellatrix's heavy-handed Cruiatus curse. Severus could, if pressed, invade a mind with the same force as the Dark Lord. He found the use of force unnecessary, especially if one wanted to leave a person with their sanity. On top of that, Severus kept the depth of his mastery a closely guarded trade secret, he never wanted to give away to anyone that he was actually reading their thoughts.

Knowing that when using legilimency, the caster would immediately be able to feel the emotions and hear excerpts of the subjects concerns & immediate fore-thoughts. Severus expected to encounter and even feel the echo's of the pain and misery she was suffering. To be able to view the subjects memories one would first have to break through or circumvent their efforts at occluding if they had any ability to. Every person able to occlude had a unique variation of a barrier or illusion to hide and protect what they want to keep from the legilimens. If she was indeed broken he would encounter nothing left of them, and only find the rubble of her broken defenses.

What made him so reluctant was the fact that the legilimens and their subject would both be manifest corporeally inside the subject's mind as the subject them-self perceived both to be. _No matter her defenses, I will be getting an extremely personal and private look at her psyche and self-image. That's to say nothing of seeing how exactly she perceives me._ He thought. He held no illusions as to expect to see anything other than the monster of a person that he had been to her, only adding to that what she believes of his loyalties and actions. It was a sign of a true master occlumens if they could project what the legilimens expected to see in both parties, as it required some mastery of legilimency to covertly pull these expectations from their attacker's mind. He theorized through his reasearch that Occlumency and Legilimency where intrinsically connected and only by being proficient in both you could achieve true mastery in at least one.

With a deep breath he banished the last empty potion phial, along with his reluctance, and set his wand aside. Once in a comfortable position he reached forward and turned Hermione's head to meet his gaze holding her chin firmly but gently as he as he entered her mind.

* * *

Inside Ms. Granger's mind his fears were immediately confirmed. Her defenses lay at his feet in a complete wreckage. Curious, and only mildly surprised that she had learned to occlude, he studied the debris.

_Fascinating indeed, it looks like very large, thick shards of glass._ _A window?_ Severus mused.

He then pulled his own occlumency in place to separate himself from the still rather strong echo's of pain. She had not quite enough time under the potions yet for the pain to be completely erased.

Continuing his search he deduced that she seemed to have formed a library, as he saw books, parchment, and debris of destroyed shelves scattered everywhere. He made an effort to not look or focus on any page or book as they were most likely what contained her memories. He didn't want to go digging without seeking her out first. He would save that as a last resort if his theory was wrong and he could not find her corporeal form hidden in the recesses of her mind.

Not exactly sure what method would be best, he decided at first attempt to call for her. Though just as he was about to call out, he decided it would probably do more harm than good, as he was not going to be a welcome or "safe" presence to come out of hiding for.

_That's probably going complicate things. I'll need her to trust me if I'm ever going to get her out of hiding._

He then thought to look down at himself to get an idea of what she perceived of him. He appeared like he would if he was under Disillusionment, meaning she was still unaware of his presence.

_Maybe making myself known would be best, I'll at least be able to see what I'm up against._

Deliberating for a moment he decided he would. To give himself his best chances he opted to call her by her given name for some sense of familiarity and tried to use a soothing tone of voice.

"Hermione?" he called out gently.

His voice sounding strange to him. It'd had been years since he'd sounded so...nice. It made him cringe a little being so foreign to him, but shrugging it off he continued to call out for her occasionally saying such things as; "You are safe now. No one will hurt you." and "Let me help you." He remained invisible so he continued searching.

The landscape of her unconscious mind while she was under duress was mostly vast expanses of ruins thrown in extreme colorless contrast and rather frightful to behold. Over time however, the contrasts relaxed and took on the look more like a black and white film in its colorlessness. He attributed this to the potions taking effect, removing her pain and anxiety, and easing the extreme perceptions and emotions inside her mind. He began to recognize places as the ruins began to reshape into their original form.

_Good, it seems to be trying to repair itself, or maybe it is the potions helping her to heal here as well._

He looked around in awe at the insights before him feeling quite amazed. He found an empty Flourish and Blotts bookstore, a pretty little garden behind an average sized home in the muggle suburbs. He saw the Burrow in the distance, a section of Hyde Park he recognized, a pleasant bit of forest, and then later Hogwarts came into view. These were all sanctuaries to her. Places that she loved and felt safe in, and her unconscious mind's landscape echoed these places. By searching them all and he hoped that he would find her corporeal form and coax her out of hiding.

After having looked everywhere else in the vicinity he began trekking toward her projection of Hogwarts still continually calling out. As he had yet to materialize into a form he assumed he had not found her consciousness, continuing to call out as he searched. The first place inside Hogwarts he checked was the 7th floor, Gryffindor tower. He thought for sure her dorm or her common room would be seen as a safe place for her, and when he didn't find her he was stumped. He continued to wander the halls moving down from the 7th floor, while he racked his brain for information that would help him on his search of her castle.

When he reached the third floor he was unable to suppress a laugh as the information slapped him in the face.

_Hermione Granger you incurable swot, you'd be in the library!_

He shook his head in disappointment at himself for not thinking of it sooner. His excitement at the thought that he might be close to her discovery came through in his tone, and when he called out to her again it belied his deep concern for her.

"Hermione?" He called with a faint hint of urgency.

The moment he opened the doors to the library and called out, he knew he'd found her. His hand materialized on the door in front of him. He stopped and took a moment to assess his form. He looked seemed to be himself. No demon horns, cruel weapons of torture about his person, just his teaching attire. Feeling his face, it felt familiar and not twisted into any frightful expression that he could perceive.

_Odd? But convenient._ He assessed. He called out again, softer this time.

"Hermione? Come out. You're safe. There is no one to hurt you. Let me help you."

He stopped when he heard a stifled crying in a far recessed corner of the library. He approached it with great care. He spied her curled up under a window at the end of a row of shelves hidden behind one of the cushioned chairs arranged under the window.

He crouched down a little more than arms length from her at the back of the chair and observed her for a moment. She didn't look much different from her physical self, but there was a definite difference but he wasn't sure exactly what that was. All of her features look the same, her hair possibly more bushy and tangled. She was sitting with her back to the window, knees pulled up to her chest with one arm wrapped around them and her other hand, held to her mouth visibly shaking as she tried to suppress the sound of her violent sobs. She looked terrified. Wincing and hoping he was not just adding to her distress Severus very slowly reached his corporeal hand out for hers, speaking slowly and gently,

"I know you are hurt. It's going to be alright. I promise - I wont hurt you. I want to help you. Do you understand?" He held his breath as he waited for a response.

Hermione seemed able to calm her self enough that she wasn't sobbing, though tears still streamed down her cheeks. She then looked around her as if to trying to find any danger and assess the truth of his words. But with wary hesitance she uncurled and reached out to grab his offered hand.

The moment that she grabbed his hand, He was awash with her emotions, relief, comfort, happiness, affection. With a look of surprise he began to help pull her to her feet, but was caught off guard when she literally flew into him. Losing his balance and teetering backward, he grabbed her arms to steady himself to which she responded by pushing herself further into his arms against his chest and clinging tightly to his torso. Being in a crouched position he was unable to maintain his balance with the extra weight and her sudden movement. He fell backward ending up in a sitting position with Hermione hugging his torso in fierce embrace on top his lap.

At a complete loss of what to do, he sat there momentarily in shock with his arms still outstretched in front of him.

_She is obviously seeking comfort._ He explained to himself.

_But she and felt safe and found comfort in HIS arms?_ He argued completely confused by her actions.

He relaxed his arms and held her rocking slightly to sooth her, not realizing he was muttering soothing things to her as his mind reeled a mile a minute to understand what was happening. He could still feel her emotions and they added to his bafflement.

_I must not be someone she can remember or recognize. Yes that's it! She wouldn't have memories, they were all in that library. This consciousness, corporeal form, this would be … what exactly? Her personality, no - her soul._ The thought scared him, he didn't want to consider the implications that his soul was literally in her mind intimately embracing her soul.

_This is very dangerous. I don't know enough about soul and how it reacts to magic. But I do know that embracing souls might as well be synonymous with soul mates, and other such bindings. Take care Snape. _He warned himself as he pulled his occlusion around him tighter feeling unnerved.

Very carefully he coaxed her out of his lap to sit beside him facing him so they would see one another. She looked up at him expectantly with her tear-stained face and puffy, red rimmed eyes.

"Ms. Granger, can you speak, can you understand me?" he asked searching her expression for signs of understanding.

"Yes, I can. Who are you?" She asked with her head tipped slightly to one side and her eyes narrowed as if she were trying to remember.

"I'm S- a friend." He settled after a pause. "I want to help you. But, can you tell what has happened, do you know?" He questioned her.

She looked confused for a moment. Then shook her head "I don't know. I've been scared." She answered then tears filled her eyes again but didn't fall, frowning she said,

"It hurt! Everything hurt!" She gasped in remembrance of the pain. "But it is gone now. Mostly."

"Yes, I'm sure it did hurt. It won't hurt anymore, I promise." Severus said soothingly as he met her eyes with his. He continued,

"Will you come with me? I want to take you someplace." Not wanting to distress her by saying that she was broken, he instead said with a smile,

"I found a beautiful place a lot like this one" looking significantly at the bookshelves around them.

"However it's been it's been destroyed, and needs to be rebuilt. Will you come help me fix it?"

Hermione's eyes lit up with a childlike happiness at his offer and she smiled. "Yes, I want to go see it."

He stood up then smiled back at her while he held out his hand,"Come. This way."

Helping her to her feet he tucked her delicate arm into his and set off back toward the ruined library. As they walked he noticed that, with every step closer to their destination, more color seeped into their surroundings making it feel happier, and that he had never felt more trusted.


	4. The Conviction - Part I (4,692)

A/N:_**This chapter now Beta'd 5/31/13**_

Hello Readers,

Many apologies for how long this chapter took to get posted. I had a hell of a time wrestling it into what I was looking for, but I'm happy with how it finally turned out. However because it took so long to get here, and because it was starting to just get too huge, I'm actually separating it into two parts. Not to mention the two halves won't make a pretty whole chapter, they are very dichotomous.

Side note for those who care: I played Rob Dougans 'Clubbed to Death' on repeat for the entire successful version of this chapter. I changed the song once or twice thinking it might help with my creativity -.- i had to toss out everything i wrote. turned 'CtD' back on and was happily writing away. So this chapter likes to be read while listening to this song.(not a very indicative title to its sound, it really is beautiful I promise)

**CONTENT WARNING:** Still PG-13 guys. some sensuality, sexuality, explicit feels, a swear word, an obscene amount of references to 'souls' that it should be criminal (hey you can't say I didn't warn you)

Disclaimer: not mine, no money.

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Conviction - part I**

"You never told me your name" Hermione said looking up at him with a sweet smile as they walked, leaving the boundaries of the projected Hogwarts grounds behind them, and stepping out onto and indiscriminate dirt path.

Severus almost didn't hear her he was so wrapped up in the experience, the feeling of her trust washing over him through their entwined arms. He felt other emotions from her as well, happiness, comfort, contentment, affection, excitement, though none came through as strongly as her trust. It may be that he was so focused on the sensation of that one feeling that the others just faded in comparison.

It was like nothing he had ever felt before. His chest seemed so full of the confidence of having her trust that he felt powerful. Not power in any physical or magical way, he couldn't achieve great feats of strength with it or anything. But a different kind of powerful. He had no words for it as it evoked so many of his own emotions that they overwhelmed him.

Severus uncharacteristically smiled shyly back at her. He was terrified she would remember him if he said anything about himself and that her trust would disappear. Before he could hesitate any longer and give into his cowardice he answered.

"You may call me Severus, while we are here." he said gesturing to their surroundings, trying to also gently suggest that he would be leaving. He felt it was probably healthier to set her expectations early, not knowing how dependent she might become on having his presence there to seek comfort. She radiated that comfort and contentment through the connection to him.

"It's a beautiful name." Hermione said watching the path before them unwind and looking around at the scenery curiously as if she hadn't noticed it till he brought it to her attention. Severus scoffed at her compliment but said nothing, waiting for her to ask her questions.

"Severus?" She tested saying his name slowly with a question hanging on the edge of her lips. "What is this place? It seems so - familiar." Hermione frowned in deep in thought for a moment while self-analyzing. "Like you. But I can't remember anything." She looked up at him expectantly. The same eager expression he had seen for years in his classes as she absorbed all information greedily.

He raised a single calculating brow at her and took a deep breath before risking the step into his familiar role. "You always were an insufferable know it all." He said it, though it came out with none of the venom that had always accompanied it before. It seemed that he couldn't use a false persona here to hide little meanings in his words or to mask what he said. It all came out exactly how he felt it.

He saw her seem to frown as if she might have remembered him saying those words to her before, and he held his breath awaiting the recoil of her trust when she remembered who she was arm in arm with. But surprising him, she smiled up at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eye,

"But you like it! I can tell." She said with a poke to his ribs, a perfect imitation of her old know it all voice from school.

"Ha! Can you? What gave me away?" Severus teased, he was enjoying talking to her, and he felt strangely happy and carefree as they walked arm in arm. If he thought about it he would inaccurately have assumed that she was projecting her own feelings on him. His cynicism was that strongly ingrained.

Hermione smiled widely at him responding in kind to her playful tone. Her step slowed until they stopped walking for a moment when she took on a rather serious look and was lost deep in thought. She hesitantly removed her arm from his but held her hand hovering in the air, her head cocked sideways, deep in her self-examination.

As soon as she withdrew her touch fear struck through Severus like a hot knife causing him to take a sharp intake of breath. The unexpected complete absence of her emotions left him feeling bare and raw, like he was doused in icy water. He understood immediately when he looked at her expression as well. She had recognized something of a difference and was assessing it critically while she chewed her bottom lip with a frown.

"What is it?" Severus asked when the silence stretched thin. He was in a state of panic that was so uncommon to him he wanted to grab her and hold her tightly to make her feel safe again so he could feel her trust him again. His face however, was a mask of utter calm, his quickened pulse the only thing to give away his inner turmoil.

"You." she said thoughtfully and he tensed for the worst. "I just realized I could feel you, but not in a tactile way. I could feel your emotions." Hermione explained slowly, still trying to find a way to articulate the experience.

"It shouldn't be possible, as I am occluding." he paused before admitting, "I'm not sure why it is so, as this is all new territory for me - but I can still feel your emotions as well, even with my barriers in place." He explained to her.

She smiled again and laughed, using both hands she ran her fingers through her hair and held her head as she said "I feel like that should mean something, but I have no idea what any of that means. What is this place?" she said looking around, continuing to mess with her hair, trying to tame it a little.

"This is the projection of your unconscious mind." Severus explained slowly, and he indicated with his hand that they should continue walking. Hermione was chewing on her lip digesting the information.

"May I?" Hermione indicated that she wished to continue arm in arm. "It seems a violation of your person not to ask before I -" she stumbled on her sentence as she reworded it mid-sentence " It's just, as soon as I let go I felt lost and afraid again. You probably think I'm weak" she rushed through her explanation, and then dropped her arms to her side looking deflated.

Severus tried to restrain himself from veritably pouncing on her hand to feel her touch again. He gently reached for out for her hand,

"See for yourself, you silly girl." he smirked at her. When she accepted his offer they stood facing each other, hands clasped together crossing between them, just taking in the experience for a moment. His thumb rubbing circles on the backside of her hand experimentally.

"You're right it's not tactile, very astute of you." he praised her.

_Feeling her emotions could be an advantage._ He thought for a moment to himself. With a questioning tone, as his head tilted to the side appraising her,

"I do not want to alarm you, but if you feel you are able to discuss it, I would like to help you understand what has happened." She looked up at him with her ever present genuine smile and she nodded,

"OK, I feel safe now. I'm not afraid."Severus shifted her hand into his other and as they continued walking hand in hand he explained,

"As I said before, this place we are in is the creation of your unconscious. You" indicating her body,"as I see you, are also a projection of how your unconscious perceives yourself. However you are the psyche, the governing identity containing all of your natural, innate, and deeply rooted instincts and understandings, the soul." He hesitated to use the last term as it frightened him in all that it implied.

"I believe, as a result of trauma, the portion of your mind containing your memories collapsed as a self-defense mechanism." He kept an eye on her, watching her take in and evaluate the information he was giving her.

Hermione seemed able to remain calm; he was not feeling anything new from her other than an intense curiosity and skepticism. He was relieved to feel both, especially the later. He had been afraid during his research of the vulnerability of the mind to indoctrination at the hand of the guide. If he was not very careful he could do serious harm to a mind in this infantile state. Hermione however seemed to have a good portion of ingrained skepticism and reasoning which assuaged his worries towards causing unwitting harm or changes to her psyche.

Giving her a chance to digest the information Severus waited, knowing she would have a question for him, since she always had questions. Hermione began slowly, explaining her question logically as she went,"I understand. Does that mean then that you are just another figment of my mind, an imagining? You don't talk as if you are a part of me, or this." She postulated, waving her free hand indicating the scenery around them. Hermione continued having answered her own question, she formulated a new one. "Only you imply that we are separate and that you won't always be "in here." So if you are not my imagination, I can assume you are something from outside my mind?"

Severus nodded his accent at her and squeezed her hand gently unknowingly sending a strong wave of affection and admiration through his side of their emotional exchange. "Very good, you are correct. I am another psyche, being projected by my mind into yours; how I appear here though is your subconscious "interpretation" of what you perceive me to be."

Hermione frowned at this as it seemed to give her an unpleasant thought, began chewing her lip again. "Well I don't understand then. What I see of you is very severe; it doesn't quite match what I feel from you." As she was saying this Severus noticed the shift about his form, and watched as the color of his robed muted to a soft charcoal, and given the quiet gasp her heard as he was observing this change he assumed his other features changed as well.

She reached up to her face with her free hand and caressed the side of his face, before carding her fingers through his now shorter hair. "Yes." Hermione mused," This seems more fitting…" She trailed off and took a step back to take in his full form, still keeping hold of his hand.

She must have felt his surge of apprehension under her scrutiny of him, for she squeezed his hand reassuringly, sending a wave of affection, admiration and, respect to calm his growing fear. "Before you were very pale, with shoulder length black hair," she twirled a lock of his hair round her finger as she said it, "and you were dressed in all black, buttoned to the nines. But now you have a little more color, your hair is a - dark brown and short. And most noticeably, you are almost younger looking, or less weary looking at the very least. It's more fitting, of the warmth and emotion I can feel from you." she said describing what she saw of him.

"Strange," he said a little perturbed by it all, "The first form was actually extremely accurate description of me physical appearance. You wouldn't know what I look like without your memories, but somehow I still appeared that way. Perhaps I was wrong and I have some control over it after all." he mused. Testing his theory he concentrated on a scar that he had on the palm of his hand and watched as it appeared. Then glancing up to Hermione and her raised brow assumed that he must have also reverted back to his own perception of himself.

"Do you have an obsession with buttons?" she asked playfully and she ran a finger down the line of small button on the front of his frock coat. This caused an unexpected flutter of arousal in him. Severus dropped her hand hoping that he didn't send the emotion through, going a bit rigid. Belatedly he realized that she was still touching his chest so it didn't break the link and he looked away trying to focus on anything else. He felt ashamed of the emotion, she was once his student, and now she is completely vulnerable to him.

Hermione watched him struggle for a moment feeling his discomfort and shame and watching him struggle to fight back the feeling she had just ignited in him.

"Hermione, I apologize. I didn't - I." he stuttered in embarrassment, removing her hand from his chest then holding his arms stiffly away from her at his sides careful not to touch her. He took a deep breath and continued, "It's very important that we do not let our emotions get out of hand. We are both in a precarious position being exposed to each others psyche like this, but you more than I. You do not have your memories to inform and guide your actions. I do not want to abuse your ignorance. Being in contact with you so plainly open seems to have altered my regard for you, and I reacted that way rather unexpectedly. Again I apologize" he explained feeling very foolish, he heart was beating erratically and he felt like a tightly wound coil from his forced emotional control. "It would be very easy to form a very permanent and irreversible bond that comes with consequences which, when restored to your memories, you would not wish to live with."

"How can my memories change how I feel?" Hermione said indignantly, but knowing what he was trying to impress on her was caution, she really didn't know anything, she was ignorant of her situation right now. Hermione then decided vehemently that she didn't want to be ignorant of it anymore. Moments later she heard a faint fluttering of pages in a breeze.

"I want to know who you are Severus." Hermione said with exasperation, "I want to know why you seem convinced I will regret being close to you and allowing us to understand this... connection. I know you can feel it, so don't deny it." The fluttering sound increased but they were both so focused on each other that neither paid it any attention.

"I couldn't deny it if I wanted to, seeing as how we broadcast our emotions if we touch at all. Please, understand me; it would be unfair to you for me not to warn you. Your feelings may very well change. You might trust me right now and be able to like me on some level because we can have a nice chat together, but you don't know me." Severus said emphatically.

Hermione in a fit of piqué folded her arms and tossed her head looking away from Severus to their surroundings. Her eyes happened upon the source of the fluttering sound, seeing a ragged pile of parchment in disarray on top a stone park bench, rustling in the breeze that didn't exist. Frowning she walked over to look at them, they were in bad shape, creased and torn at the edges with smears of dirt and grime covering them. At the top of each page was a heading and each one read "Professor Severus Snape"

"Your subconscious is responding to your wishes." said Severus from over her shoulder when he read their titles. He had followed her to see the papers, knowing that they were memories but not their topic. "These are memories, experiences pertaining to me. I believe you need only pick them up." He stated with a delicate deliberate calm.

"Professor?" Hermione queried, turning to look at him in appraisal. And he nodded to her. "I was your teacher. Take them, see for yourself." he folded his hands behind his back and stepped away from her not wanting to see her face when she learned the truth. Prepared to come under attack in the worst case scenario and flee her mind.

They had stopped not far from the ruins of her library, which was on the side of the road he was facing. Parchments and loose pages blew around in a nonexistent breeze but remained mostly in the pile of rubble and ruin, and he watched them but wasn't paying attention to them and he strained to hear what he was afraid would come.

He heard the pages behind him shuffle, and then a sharp tapping sound as she straightened them using the hard stone bench surface. Then a soft slap as she set the pile down again.

Severus turned and looked sidelong at her, observing as she sat down on the bench with a despairing slump looking shell shocked before she buried her face in her hand and cried softly. He hadn't expected to see tears.

"Ms. Granger?" he inquired softly. Hermione looked up at him with a frown for being addressed so formally. "So, you understand me now?" he said with coldness to his voice that had since been absent.

"No. I have memories of you which are so different from one another that I can't make you out." Hermione replied despondently "I need more information." she concluded.

"You would." Severus scoffed then sighed. "There is all your information." Pointing to the left of him at the ruins, then gesturing for her to proceed ahead of him in that direction he probed, "Are you ready to begin, Ms. Granger?" He met her eyes and saw defiance behind them and she stood up in a huff, gathering the pile of papers next to her.

"Certainly, Headmaster." she threw back at him, disgruntled, and then stalked past him.

Severus felt stung by her words, and he believed that was what was intended, he pivoted on his heel with anger at her insolence as he followed after her, robes whipping and billowing behind him. He stepped around and walked ahead of her before stopping at the corner of a collapsed outer wall of her library. He spun around to face her, reminiscent of many similar moments standing at the front of a class, he began to explain the theory he had developed in his trademark lecture tone.

"This building is represents the order in which you keep your mind, the books and parchments you place within, as you have already learned, contain your memories. I suspect that you merely need to focus your thoughts and recreate this building and its interior to clear away the damage and then ready your memories to be replaced. The last task will be the most time consuming, and I can't help you with it without becoming privy to every one of your memories I touch. When you are finished I will instruct you on how to recreate your occlumency defenses, and I will leave." Severus concluded brusquely.

Hermione nodded her acknowledgement of his instructions, struggling to control her expression and maintain her composure. She bit her lip and took a shuddering deep breath to help calm her sadness, anger and hurt at his cold distance. _How had she carried this knowledge around in silence for so long?_ Utterly baffled by the thought.

She first took a walk around the entire ruin to get an idea of what she would be building, nodding her head at him again to indicate she was ready, then waited for his instruction. It was simple really; it brought a whole new meaning to Descartes proposition "I Think, therefore I am." She thought about what she wanted and it was there. Soon everything memory was on its way to its proper place, neat and tidy.*

As she worked at restoring her memories she chose those that answered her questions first, and then continued on all the rest of the memories, while deliberating. Hermione's fretting over the situation with Severus and her inner dialog was getting increasingly verbose. She was pretty sure she understood him. She watched him covertly as he walked through her library examining her work.

_But never touching._ She observed. _I can see his curiosity to know, but he never steps over and just takes what is in front of him. He could very easily have just walked into my mind, and seen whatever he wanted, and left. Leaving me... broken. Instead he saved me from insanity by finding me, took away the pain, made me feel loved, safe, and he taught me. Like he always has._ Her mind emphasized, before beginning to rant and working herself into a frenzy. _And instead of taking what he wants, when he wants it, he hides behind his black curtains made of hair and a wind flapping cloak! Then he tells himself that he doesn't want it after all! Well, I __know__ he wants me. I felt his attraction, affection and respect. That is to say nothing of his desire, or passion. I am Hermione Granger, THE insufferable know it all. If he won't take what he wants, I will. Even if he obliviates me in the end, at least HE'LL know this time, that I KNEW._ With that she shoved a book of childhood memories onto the shelf in front of her forcefully.

With a determined step she approached him. He was walking down an isle that contained the last two years of her education at Hogwarts. She got the impression that he was tempted to see her memories of the night he killed Dumbledore as he stood in front of it pretending to look at the titles nearby it. This giving her an idea of how she could tell him what she wanted him to know. So as she got nearer to him she moved all the memories he was staring at in an instant replacing them with a collection that contained every memory she had of him.

When the titles on the shelves Severus was perusing changed to titles containing his name he knew she was up to something and turned to question her about it. Surprise and a single raised brow was his expression when he turned to face her. She didn't give him a chance to think or react before she stepped in close to him, backing him into her memory filled shelves to attempt to avoid touching her. His hand grazed the collection she had so strategically placed, and when the shock registered on his face and in his eyes, she knew he had seen what was needed. He never expected she would use such a slytherin tactic to force him into viewing her memories of him. _It was damn brilliant_. He assessed. Hermione then threw her arms around his neck and pressing her whole body into him, and pulled him down to meet her lips for a searing kiss.

The memories were viewed in an instant. As soon as he touched them he knew them all, from beginning to end, as if they were his were his own memories he was reliving but these were all hers , from her perspective, with her thoughts. What he saw was eye opening. First she showed him her research into soul magic during her 5th yr, just to prove her knowledge of it without having to have the conversation and ruin her moment to catch him by surprise. She knew without a doubt what the consequences of her actions would be when she initiated this level of contact between their souls. He now also understood that she had been fighting an attraction to him that was so strong it was like the gravitational pull of a black hole; utterly inescapable once caught in it. Even more surprisingly she'd been fighting for much longer than he ever would have expected. The last memory he saw before she kissed him told him everything he needed to know, and with no more hesitation he surrendered his love to her completely.

Severus was consumed by the intensity of Hermione's passion, desire and love. They came crashing into him through the full length of her body pressing him against the bookshelf as she attacked him with the ferocity of a true gryffindor lioness. He took her kisses, returning them timidly at first while he was still in shock by what she had made him see, what she'd known. Severus began to lose himself in her lips, and he wrapped her up into the arms of his soul, pressing her tightly to his chest and giving himself over to his passion and desire for her. Lifting her off the ground with one hand on her right buttocks and another at the nape of her neck, he tilted her face up towards him. He brought her closer to his mouth, and he leaned heavily against the shelves behind him.

Severus nipped at her bottom lip, and then slid his tongue gently across the hurt, she moaned deeply into his mouth. His mind blown by the affect it had on him. "Hermione." he moaned tilting her head he kissed her eyelids, trailing light caresses of his lips down to her cheek as he whispered "How did I never know?" just in front of her earlobe where he kissed softly. He paid the same delicately sweet attention to her neck until he reached its junction to her shoulder, exploring the taste of her skin on his journey there, reveling in the moans and the sound of his name whispered on her lips.

Hermione had her right leg hung around Severus' hip, on her tip toes with the other trying to gain some more height while standing on top of his foot. As he pressed kisses into the sensitive skin of her neck, she pressed her core into his hard groin feeling the throbbing pulse through lightweight the clothes she wore and feeling the rising heat deep in the pit of her abdomen. Severus' knees were trembling from the weight of all that he was experiencing, and he slowly slid down the bookshelf embracing Hermione tightly, both arms now wrapped around her thin torso.

Severus felt he would never be able get her close enough to empty place her love was now finally filling in his soul. _How badly he wished he had known. Why didn't he know of this love? How did he never realize it was missing?_ These questions plagued him like an overloud ringing in his ears from being deafened by the explosion of this new knowledge inside him. His soul would forever bear her mark on it, and his mark on hers, and Severus took solace in these precious gifts she was giving him.


	5. The Conviction - Part II (6,787)

A/N:_** This chapter now Beta'd 5/31/13**_

Mood music used for this chapter: 'Tornado' by Jonsi.

_**Content Warning:**_ Character Death & Lots of feels - nothing really age restrictive in this one so just PG.

Disclaimer:No, I only dream of owning Severus IRL, alas JKR is the wealthiest person alive. (after Rima Horton of course ^.^) I make nothing, but I'm paid well in reviews by my lovely readers. Now go away stupid lawyers I'm telling a story here!

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Chapter 4: The Conviction - Part II

_"I'd surrender everything_

_To feel the chance to live again_

_I reach to you_

_I know you can feel it too_

_We'd make it through a thousand dreams _

_I still believe_

_I'd make you give them all to me_

_I'd hold you in my arms and never let go_

_I surrender"_

_Celine Dion - I surrender_

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For some time they just sat holding each other. Severus leaning against the shelves behind him with Hermione's back leaning into his chest, and her turned cheek pressed against it. He cradled her delicate hand in his, wrapping it tightly around her waist with his arm, his other hand tracing the backs of his fingers in soothing patterns along her exposed neck and shoulder. They both knew their time was limited, they had to find a way to get Hermione safely away from Malfoy Manor, but they were both reluctant to be separated.

"Severus?" Hermione broke the silence in a quiet voice, "What made you come here? Why didn't you just make sure I didn't endanger you and just leave me here b- broken?" Her voice trembled, her free hand finding its way up to play with the fine silken hairs at the nape of his neck. "It was so out of order; he would never have found anything without searching every paper then piecing them all together again." She paused with a frown, chewing her lip, then finished, "If you had looked for yourself you would have seen that and it could have spared you the time in finding me, helping and waiting. S - So why are you here, Severus?"

Severus didn't answer right away; he kept holding and caressing her while he thought. Then he paused, plucking up one of her curls he began tickling her shoulder with it while he spoke, "I know I have never been able to show you anything but the mask I'm required to wear. But believe it or not I didn't wish to see the one and only brilliant student I have ever encountered, wasted and destroyed because of my inactions. I have enough blood and misery on my hands to atone for." He stopped and his hand stilled their movements, with a faraway expression he continued, "I was confident I could do something to restore you, and thought if I could, I might be able to use that success to erase some of my guilt."

Hermione could feel his sadness, and shame. She wondered what he blamed himself for but didn't want to invade and ask. She was not as private as he was, but she understood his need to leave things unspoken. He had an emotional innocence about him. The angry, snarky, and solitary front he presented to the world hid a precious wealth of devotion, tenderness, and passion. He had such a beautiful soul. She turned her head to look up at him her love shining in her eyes.

"Thank you, Severus." Hermione whispered pressing herself further into his chest, her heart full. He responded by holding her tightly and, looking down at her upturned face, met her lips for a tender kiss. He placed another kiss on her forehead when they broke as Hermione took in all that was around them.

"It's all done now." She said sadly knowing it was time to return to reality.

"And it's very well done." He followed her gaze to the shelves of memories around them. Then he helped her stand, guiding her arm before hefting himself up off the ground reluctantly. They stood facing one another for a moment taking in the sight of the other, as if to fix permanently their features within their mind.

"Show me your occlusion; we'll see if I can help you to improve it." He said brushing a finger down her cheek. Hand in hand Hermione lead him out from the shelves to where her fireplace, leather chair, and side table sat recreated. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and concentrated on the thick glass wall she had in place before, only making it even thicker than before.

Severus saw her glass slide into place, noting their increase in depth. _She really is a very talented witch. _He admired. He stepped up toward it, trying not to concentrate on the flutter of fear he experience at the separation from her emotions as she slid the shields into place.

"Very good." He praised; his admiration showing in his voice. He ran his hand across the glass and it responded to his touch, rippling and showed the room that Severus sat in, inside Malfoy Manor, staring unblinkingly at them. He looked back to Hermione who was beaming at him from his praise.

"Five points for Gryffindor?" Hermione said in a playful tone.

"If I start awarding you points post-graduately, my own house would not see the house cup for another three generations." He said with an eyebrow and smirk at her. He loved to see her smile and it warmed him knowing he could evoke it.

"Technically, I haven't graduated." She countered. To which he snorted and mumbled something about insufferable know it all's.

His thoughts turned morose when wondering what she might encounter and have to endure next to get her to safety. He debated if he should remove her memories of him, of them. But he felt that he would very likely lose her trust, which he treasured infinitely.

He should trust her abilities; she had proven herself capable, destroying her mind in the effort of it. No, he didn't question her ability to hold and keep information safe, he worried that she would be pushed to that breaking point again and end up irreparable and truly lost to him.

Hermione watched the shadow of his thought cross his face. Even not touching, with her occlusion up, and apparently his as well, she found they could still feel each other's emotions; though it was muted, like a whisper or a tender breeze across her skin, as a result of bearing the imprint of the other on their souls. She felt that he was worried, afraid, and feeling fiercely protective. He seemed to reach a decision in his brooding, for he dropped his hand from the rippling glass in front of him and spoke to her.

"The Dark Lord will want to question you; he will want to look into your mind himself. Your defenses are more than adequate to deter all but his most forceful attacks. I do not think he will use that amount of force on you. Especially because you are going to show him exactly what he wants to see. Severus saw her frown and waited for her to ask her questions.

"What do you mean? What is the point of my defenses if I hand him what he wants in the end?" Hermione questioned irritably, believing for a moment that he didn't really trust her ability to protect them, and feeling hurt and indignant by it.

"Think for a moment; if he sees what _he wants_ to see, will he really expend the effort to look further which would entail a great deal of work inside a shattered mind." Giving her a bone, trying to see if she would make the leap of logic he was presenting to her. He was not disappointed for shortly a look of dawning awareness crept across her features.

"So you're saying that I should use legilimency on him, while he is in my mind to show him what he wants to see? Is that possible? How would that even work?" Hermione asked the latter almost of herself as she tried to figure it out.

"It is what defines a true master occlumens which the Dark Lord isn't because very few practitioners of the art have come to this conclusion; it is all the more reason to keep it a secret." Severus impressed on her. "Since he will be told and already believe your mind is in shambles, it would be the easiest route to have your mind prepared with those images beforehand. It will not only give you the time you need to glean what you can from him, but it will also distract him from your absence while you jump through the connection into his own mind." Hermione had a moment of fear which he felt prickling him so Severus attempted to soothe her, "You need not stay long as he will not be monitoring his own mind for invasion, his expectations and musing will all be readily available you need only touch them and then return quickly into hiding inside your own mind behind your occlusion. Once you are back, surreptitiously insert the expectations into what he is searching, being sure to keep them as fragmented as the rest of the images you've prepared." Finished explaining he waited for her inevitable questions.

"It sounds easy enough." Hermione mumbled in deep thought. "Can you show me how?" She asked stumbling through the sentence as she rushed the next words out." C -can I try it? On you I mean? I promise I won't be nosey." She assured him with a pleading look.

Severus had already planned on having her try it on him so he was amenable, though he enjoyed giving her a suspicious and assessing eye and watching her squirm.

"Yes well, see that you aren't. Merlin knows I don't need your impish little fingers getting a hold of more of my person." He sneered mockingly, smirking at her in turn. Hermione giggled at him and playfully insinuated herself into his arms.

"Minx!" Severus growled. He kissed her soft lips briefly before clearing his throat saying, "First it would be prudent to move your 'library' to someplace much deeper in your mind. I will warn you this does have some effects on your conscious connection to your thoughts and memories, you will find it harder to get caught up in a daydream, reminiscing unawares. But you will also find you can focus more on them and ignore the stimulants of your surroundings easier with the greater distance from your fore-mind." Hermione was at rapt attention with the command in his professorial tone.

"Are you ready?" Severus asked when she didn't posit any questions or statements. Hermione bit her bottom lip and nodded assent

"As before just concentrate, this time trying to move it all, in its entirety to the back of your mind." Hermione closed her eyes listening to his instruction while she took a few deep meditative breaths He continued instructing her, stepping out of her arms to keep from distracting her from the task by their closeness. Severus whispered "It's not unlike apparition; focus on what you are moving. Then determinedly focus on where it is going. - Will it there." After a short while, the walls around them dematerialized in a shimmer and where gone, leaving them standing in a blank open field.

"Well done, your next step is to create the ruined scene of your mind, and fill it with fragments of benign thoughts and memories." Severus directed and waited while she adjusted the scene to her liking and filling it with debris, scorched parchments, and shredded books making it look disturbingly close to the wreckage that was there an hour or two before.

Hermione stepped back and observed the scene then turned to him with a querying look, "Well, how's it look?" she waved her arm at the rubble indicating for him to look at the memories rustling in the imagined breeze.

Severus stepped forward and sampled a parchment here and there, finding only bits of varied memories that were nonsensical in their brevity. Satisfied he turned to her and nodded his approval.

"You are ready; the only thing you are missing is the coloring of your mood and emotions of the scene. Which these, I'm sure will be corrected naturally from the experience of being under the scrutiny of the Dark Lord." He assessed dismissively, Hermione didn't understand and questioned him on what he meant, so he continued by way of explanation. "When I arrived, the color of your subconscious was in extreme contrasts and tinged with the colors of your fear, pain, and panic. Now however, you feel safe, and -" He paused while he considered the emotions he felt of her through his imprint of her. "-happy, protected, and loved" Saying the last in almost a whisper.

Hermione smiled and approached him, entwining both her hands in his. "I love you. Even if I've only just had the memory of that love returned to me, I'm glad to finally be able to tell you, to share it with you Severus." She said genuinely.

Severus was uncomfortable but felt that he would regret if he didn't say these things. He had once lived with that kind of regret long enough to not waste much time allowing his discomfort to dictate his silence. So he pulled her into an embrace, finding it easier to say without her warm brown doe-eyes boring into him. Hermione accepted the embrace, snuggled into his chest, and took a deep breath of the scent that was all his that she had been able to recognize for the last 2 years.

"I do; more than I could have ever anticipated and it's not because of your imprint on my soul. I wish - that I was more deserving of these gifts you have given me, but know that I will endeavor to deserve you and to keep you. Until the very end." He voice became deeper with emotion and he kissed her head holding her fiercely to him for a moment.

After a moment of a tender communion of budding emotions, Severus placed his hand on her shoulders speaking directly to her.

"We haven't any more time, I will show you how to jump through the Iter; the legilimens path into your mind." Hermione nodded her eyes shining with the tears that had begun to rise from being over whelmed by emotion. She brushed them away, and took a steadying breath.

"Now," Severus continued, "you don't have to be near the legilimens corporeal form to be able to make the jump, in fact it's imperative that he doesn't see you or he will know what you are up to. So _when_ you do it you will do it from behind your shields, but for me right here will do." he paused giving her a moment to rein in her focus. "Concentrate on what you see with your body, outside your mind, as if you would be if you were awake."

Hermione didn't close her eyes this time, but thought on being awake. The next thing she knew, she was staring into Severus eyes, his hand holding her chin, inside an empty room somewhere inside Malfoy Manor. She heard his voice in her head as if her were whispering in her ear though his face remained still and impassive as he stared at her. "Look into my eyes and summon your magic, imagine your consciousness waving your wand for you if it helps, and think the incantation 'legilimens'. The wand motion is a half counter clockwise circle ending in an enunciated flick" He added not sure if she had known already.

Severus knew the moment she was successful because her conscious form shimmered from his view inside her mind indicating she was no longer consciously viewing her interior mind.

"I will give you a moment to look around." Hermione heard him say in her mind.

Inside Severus' mind was amazing and Hermione was in awe. It was a clear moon filled night, and she stood on a small rocky island. It stood in the middle of an inky ocean that undulated placidly around the island stretching beyond the horizon. Behind her stood a small solitary and a bit gloomy house with a small herb garden off the back that was obviously well cared for. She was able to make out many rare potions ingredients as she walked down one of the neat rows. Along the fence enclosing the yard was a collection of decorative statues, surrounded with blossoming flowers.

A delicate bird bath stood almost hidden in the growth of the shrubs and flowers around it. Hermione approached it and saw a single Juno lily floating in the bottom tier of the tinkling bath. She smiled at its simple beauty and understated position in his garden along the well-worn path. _It must hold a very special symbolism to him._ She thought. She reached out and touched the velvety soft texture of one of the petals on it and was immediately shown a heart wrenching scene.

_Severus climbed small stairwell with debris littering it. As he climbed panic started to rise in him and he feared to continue further but was driven on to know what lay ahead. He could hear an infant crying and whimpering pitifully. When he reached the landing he saw James Potter, sprawled and blank eyed, his wand lying broken far from his reach. _

_Severus' panic increased and he attempted to steady himself as he stepped toward the noise of the crying infant. The door to the room was splintered and blackened from spell fire. With overwhelming dread he pushed the door open to reveal the nursery where a blotchy red, tear stained face of an infant Harry cried out to him for comfort, chewing sloppily on a slobber cover fist. Looking down and saw her, Lily's body collapsed on the floor pale and lifeless._

_"Lily!" He sobbed, and his shock knocked him backwards. Gripping the wall behind him for support as his legs gave way beneath him. "Oh no, Lily!" Severus cried out in anguish. He reached for her with shaking hands and pulled her into his lap. Brushing her fiery red hair from her face then holding her tightly to him as he rocked her in his arms, the anguish of his loss clearly written on his face. "Lily, I'm so sorry." He wept then buried his face in her hair as his shoulders heaved with sobs._

Hermione was stunned. She began to cry for his pain that she felt in the memory, for the love that was lost, and the remorse that he shouldered. Now she knew why he had done everything he had up till now. It was all clear to her, and she wanted nothing more than to hold him and make that pain go away, and fill that loss with the love she could offer him. She felt bad for having stumbled on something so private, especially when she had promised not to be nosy. She took a deep breath to regain her composure then reversed the spell and jumped back into her own body.

She blinked and took in the room around her. She lay on a chaise lounge with Severus sitting in a cushioned chair holding her chin. He released her chin and blinked also, seemingly unaware of what she had witnessed. Then he gently brushed a curl from her cheek with a small smile.

"You'll do fine. Don't be scared."

Severus replaced and reinforced his occlusions, his expression resuming a cold unrevealing look. He stood and straightened his frock coat, gathering his black teaching robes he had laid aside. The last few hours were surreal and seemed a separate lifetime ago, though having only ended moments before.

Once he had replaced his robes he conjured a glass of water and handed it to her. Hermione drank readily her throat feeling extremely raw and dry still from the torture she had endured.

_I will inquire as to whether the Dark Lord is in residence to question you. If he is not I will remove you to my home to ensure your safety and escape._ He looked back at her and thought again. _Stick to the plan if he__ is__ here, and follow my lead._ Speaking in the other's mind through their shared connection was one of the consequences of their imprinting.

Hermione nodded with a doe eyed expression answering, _I will Severus. I love you. _Rather than answering in kind he sent the wealth of emotions that he had recently discovered so she could feel how strongly he felt for her in return. Hermione sent back the same and her trust, before lying back down on the chaise, holding her hands out to him to be bound.

"Incarcerous" Severus incanted, checking to make sure they were loose enough for her to wiggle free if she needed too. Then looking at her warm brown eyes one last time he whispered a careful, "Stupefy" and she went unconscious.

HE sighed and rubbed a hand down his face feeling like he should have a week's worth of growth to show there. In the few hours that past so much had transpired. But he knew without a molecule reservation, he wouldn't give back what he had now. He would cherish her, and he would NOT fail her.

Severus summoned the house elf that was told to attend him. "Worely." With a pop the diminutive house elf appeared bowing so comically low his long nose touched the burgundy carpeted floor. "Headmaster summons Worely, sir?" he said in a deep gravelly voice that spoke of his age. Worely was akin to a butler in the Malfoy household, overseeing all the staff. Before attaining the position many years ago, Worely had been assigned to assist Snape, who Lucius has sponsored in gaining his potions mastery.

"Worely, is the Dark lord in residence at this time?" He probed neutrally.

"He has just arrived, Headmaster. Worely is being asked to fetch you when you have done with the mudblood girl, sir. Shall Worely take you to him?" said the house-elf respectfully.

"How long since Dark Lord arrived?" He questioned tersely while straightening his cuffs tossing his hair behind his shoulder, and then smoothing coat once more till he felt all was in order.

"Only just arrived Headmaster." Circling Severus as he was preening, Worely conjured a fine silver and emerald coat brush, removing any lint he found as he had so many times in the past. "If I may sir, Worely is being hearing that he is not in high spirits." Worley shuddered involuntarily "Very angry is the Dark Lord, 'scuse my impertinence Headmaster, he is being very angry that Mistress Lestrange has caused damaged to the little mudblood's mind. He is being anxious to hear good news from you. May haps you have good news?" Worely ended hopefully, snapping his fingers to vanish a brush that had been polishing Severus' boots.

"May haps, Worely, I thank you." He said almost kindly causing the elf to bow even lower than before his nose bending sideways at being pressing into the floor.

"If you please, I will go down now, await my call then please bring Ms. Granger to audience with the Dark Lord and myself. Let no one enter, or near her until I call, am I clear? Severus said sternly as he walked to the door.

"Yes Headmaster, no one sir, bringing her straight to you. You is attending the Dark Lord in the Drawing room." Worely affirmed with enthusiasm, bowing and scraping again.

Severus cast heavy wards at the door after he stepped out, not that they were necessary, Worely would never allow anything to happen. Worely had more loyalty toward Severus than any member of the Malfoy line. He believed Snape to be an adopted branch in to the Malfoy line as Draco's godfather. Additionally, Worely treated him with special care because of well treatment and praise he'd received from Severus over years, before he inherited his current position as Headelf and noticed by his owners.

As Severus approached the drawing room he heard the angry sibilant voice of Voldemort giving Bellatrix a tongue lashing over her over-enthusiasm. "In the future, if there is information potential, let someone more fitted for the tasks perform it." Voldemort huffed, throwing himself into the throne like chair he usually conjured for himself.

"At last, Severus!" Voldemort grinned showing his pointed teeth.

"My Lord." Severus knelt bowing his head and waited for the usual offhanded flick of the wrist from Voldemort to be allowed to rise and speak. Then given permission he stood and waited to be addressed. Voldemort stood and began pacing in front of his throne while he spoke, Nagini slithering up to his now vacated chair, he caressed her when he past.

"I was beginning to worry you had lost your way in Ms. Granger's shattered mind when they told me you had been attempting to interrogate her these past 2 hours. Tell me, what news have you? Is she completely broken?" He interrogated expectantly. It was obvious he was hoping to find some way of using her and excited by the prospect.

"She is broken my lord, shattered. I spent some time trying to see if there was a chance that I could bring her around. She is catatonic, she'll respond to commands but her consciousness is not present." Severus explained irritably. Bellatrix stood to one side and she dipped her head and cringed in fear, expecting to be punished.

"Well Severus I know you are no master of the art. Bring her to me; I'll see what can be done myself." Voldemort said arrogantly before, hissing something to Nagini then sitting when she moved to the back of his chair, drumming his finger impatiently.

"Worley." Severus barked. With a prompt crack the frail elf appeared with Hermione laying still stunned on the floor, his forefinger and thumb grasping her wrist like one would a dirty nappy.

"Ennervate. Kneel before the Dark Lord, Ms. Granger." he commanded in a menacingly low tone and stern expression. Through their link he sent her a soothing wave of calm and said,_ You are catatonic, responding to commands_. Hermione immediately adopted a blank unseeing expression, and she lolled herself into as sitting position and attempted to slide her legs behind her to kneel with difficulty due to being bound. Voldemort didn't wait for her to make it, he was up out of his chair circling her like a vulture the moment she arrived. As soon as she was sitting up, Voldemort grabbed her by the hair and yanked her head back delving into her seemly defenseless mind.

Severus saw the change in her listless eyes indicating she had reversed the connection almost the moment it was in place. _Perfect, little know it all._ He praised her to himself and he watched and waited for the trial of their plan to be over with bated breath.

Hermione winced internally at the rough handling of her hair. She stood inside her library ensconced by her occlusion but she felt the piercing stab of the vicious entry and power that Voldemort used to jump into her open fore-mind. She immediately understood what Severus meant about the coloring of her subconscious and she focused more than needed on the pain to enhance the effect convincingly She watched for him remotely from her occlusion, as soon as he had appeared in corporeal form she met his red eyed gaze from his body.

"Legilimens!" Hermione cast the incantation and jumped through the Iter into Voldemort's unconscious mind.

Inside Voldemort's mind was an experience she would never have predicted. It was abstract and twisted; a dark gloomy Escher style castle. Thankfully what she was looking for was being displayed as he seemed to be fantasizing about what she might know and seemed to be broadcasting the memory of her torture to Harry when she arrived rather gleefully. She grimaced as she saw the images of herself and remembering the sheer amount of pain. She knew Harry was going to be beside himself with rage and fury when he saw it and quickly returned to her own mind. Hermione planted the images Voldemort wanted to see in the red herring ruin of her mind. He continued to search the rubble and would sibilantly exclaim in triumph when he found one of the newly planted fragments.

Hermione stepped up to her window to see the room out of her eyes. Severus was standing to the right of Voldemort's shoulder His face expressionless but for the slight pinching at the edge of his eyes betraying his anxiety for her.

Suddenly and unexpectedly her attention was drawn back inward ad Voldemort cried out in pain and rage. He had picked up a memory that contained something that was too pure for him and he was burned badly by the magic found protecting it, when it went up in flames in his hand.

Hermione summoned the original to make sure it was not something dangerous. The memory was benign enough but she immediately realized what would have sparked her subconscious defense response; the first manifestation of their soul imprint.

_It was a brief moment in potions class shortly before the end of her fourth year. Severus when he was prowling the classroom had come up behind her to observe her progress, sneering into her cauldron when he saw it was perfect. She subsequently lost her focus, flustering when she was overwhelmed by the wonderful smell of him so strong, and so close. Her normally fluid and precise stirring wavered and he reach out grabbing her hand to steady it and continue the brisk stirring that was required to keep the potion from ruining. _

_The moment his hand grasped her she was overcome with a ache of loss. Severus must have felt it too, for in the memory he looked down at her merely inches from her face from over her shoulder with a disturbed and quizzical look. Hermione swallowed nervously, unconsciously wetting her bottom lip, as if expecting him to kiss her. With a raised brow at her trying to hide how unnerved he was he said "Focus, Ms. Granger." in a deep velvet tone before pouncing on Neville's failures beside her._

Voldemort dropped the flaming parchment irate, looking at the dark char and crumbling flesh of his corporeal wand hand. Surprise and rage marring his already nightmarish features and he retaliated swirling his wand in a lasso looping motion around his head he attacked the rubbish pile with fiendfyre, flicking his wand a few time to shoot off a few fiendfyre beasts. Then with an indignant fuming huff he canceled his connection to her mind.

Severus knew something was very wrong the moment Hermione radiated surprise, the fear then immense pain through his mark. It was so intense that he fell to one knee clutching his chest from the echoes of her pain. He saw the Dark Lord throw her head away from him and stalk away examining his hands. Severus didn't pay any attention to him; he silently entered Hermione's mind, her eyes seemed to be literally bursting with fire.

Hermione, with a small beaded bag thrown over her shoulder, threw her corporeal form into his arms as soon as he arrived inside the inferno of her mind. Her eyes were wide with panic as she gripped his arm pushing him backwards. Severus choked on the pain there; he could feel her mind burning away.

"Severus go you can't stay here. You have to help Harry, GO!" She shoved him hard to push him from her mind back through the Iter.

"No...Hermione!" Severus grabbed on to her corporeal form and pulled her with him.

Back inside his mind, he held tightly to her form and she begged and cried in her agony. She was still linked to her own body and would catch fire here too if Severus didn't do something.

"No. No. NO! Hermione! Just stay here with me! Cut the connection before you burn out, Please gods don't leave me." Severus was frantic and he ripped at his hair trying to think of what to do for her as corporeal form collapsed in a heap in his mind, _She won't know a dark spell like the Severing_. He lamented.

"Spiritus Diffindo!" Reaching out in her stead Severus cast the soul severing spell just as he felt the heat of the flames eating their way through the Iter behind her.

It all happened in a few seconds time but he couldn't stay in his mind and make sure she was ok. He stepped back into his gaze Voldemort was still fuming and pacing not taking notice of Severus collapse. Careful to make sure his face was emotionless, only a slight grimace of pain at the splitting pain in his head and bone deep ache in his chest. He regained his footing and surreptitiously straightened his robes, flicking his hair out of his face that had started to cling to the beads of perspiration there._ I have to get her out of here! _Was his next thought.

"My Lord?" Severus chanced to question taking the risk of being lashed out at for speaking.

Voldemort turned on him showing him his hand angrily it was blackened and the edges of his fingers had started to crumble into sooty ashes. It looked extremely like the curse from the Gaunt ring, but it was not spreading.

"She is completely broken, but her defenses were still very strong." He took a gasping breath as if he was shaking of fear. "I grasped a memory - that she didn't want me to see and it went off in flames in my hand. Filthy Mudblood. I set her mind on fire. We will torture Potter with the knowledge of her complete and utter ruin." He laughed evilly to which Bellatrix joined him maniacally.

"My lord if you may, grant me to leave? I am much spent for trying to delve in her mind, not being a very adept user of the art like you." Severus requested attempting to charm him with blarney. "Allow me to remove her filth from your presence." Voldemort dismissing him over his shoulder, while he began to heal his charred and blacked his hand. Severus struggled to hide the growing agony inside him as he made his way to Hermione.

"Take her away." Voldemort turn back to Severus just as he had stepped forward to collect Hermione's body, hissing maliciously. "Make use of her innocence, Severus. I'm in need of a powerful Healing potion," Severus paled knowing what he meant before he explained. "You know the one that requires the blood of an untainted woman. Take her and make it for me. Consider it my gift for your devoted service to me today. Nagini." He hissed calling his pet and then leaving the room to retire to the study; with Bellatrix fawning over him fast on his heels.

Once they left Severus couldn't hold off the agony he was in any longer. "Worely." He croaked. With a snap the loyal little elf appeared at his side.

"Headmaster is needing Worely? Oh Sir!" Worely cried out, seeing Severus stumbling trying to pick Hermione up in his arms to carry her to the apparition point.

"Worely, Please - Take us to my home. Quickly!" Severus begged, on the verge of tears.

Without a second to spare the elf grabbed onto both of them and teleported them to the sitting room inside Spinner End. He dismissed the elf, who looked torn to leave his favorite master in such obvious pain, but then obeyed, disappearing with a "pop".

Severus immediately tried to connect to her mind to feel her through their mark. He felt nothing only his whole soul was in agony. He knelt beside her body devolving to sobs. He tried to calm himself and pulled back into his mind.

Hermione's form lay nearly lifeless on the rocky ground of his island shore. He dove at her picking up her form and faintly feeling again her emotions of loss pain and separation, though their mark.

"Oh Gods I thought I lost you." He pulled her into his lap; sitting with her cradled between his legs like had such a short while ago. "Hermione wake up, Wake up love, please." He whispered to her sending all the strength, love and devotion he had to her hoping to help bolster her.

Hermione came round after he spent a few minutes holding and rocking her.

"S-vrus?" She mumbled. He choked a sob "I'm here, Shh shh shh. I'm here. Tell me what you need." he gasped for breath trying not to cry in front of her "Tell me what to do. Please." he begged.

"So tired, but my body, I - I can't feel it." Hermione focused hard to try to stay conscious.

"No you can't, you won't. It's dying" He broke out into full on tears. "Please, I want you to stay! Don't leave me. Gods this hurts!" he whispered in her ear, Hermione lifted her hand to his face looking up at him from his chest, and wiped his eyes.

"I won't leave; I'll stay here with you. I just need to sleep. I love you. Stay in here with for me a while?" Severus nodded with a sniff and holding her tightly, continued rocking her until she fell asleep. He moved her into the projection of Spinners End on his island, placing her soul in his bed he stayed lying beside her for hours.

Days passed and she still didn't wake; Severus was frantically searching for something to do to save her body during the days. He placed her body into a stasis while he tried to find a way to rejoin her with her body. Not knowing if it was safe to enter her mind or if the corporeal flames were still burning. Wondering if she could ever heal from that damage her mind sustained this time, and if he could ever reunite her body and soul.

At night he spent eternities sitting alongside her waiting for her to wake. After a few days he investigated her beaded bag he laughed when he found it full of books of her memories. He watched a few memories when he was suddenly given an idea and spent the following weeks perusing her memories trying to find the information.

* * *

Things steadily devolved with the War. Harry and Ron weren't able to figure out where to look for the Horcruxes and got increasingly desperate in their search, distracted constantly by small skirmishes with death eaters, and trying desperately to save their loved ones. Tormented and furious at what he had seen of Hermione's torture and destruction from his link in to Voldemort's mind Harry planned a reckless rescue attempt only to be caught, tortured, and then murdered by Voldemort publicly. Dumbledore's scheming had come to naught, side of light was defeated and countless people suffered, and died. But Severus Snape has had enough.

Severus carried a small dark stained and banded wooden chest, it was layered with every protective enchantment he could conjure, keyed to open only his own magical signature. Severus set the box on the bureau in his old room then added the single final memory vial on top a layer of black velvet. He locked it magically. He carefully set the dials on the golden time-turner that was embedded into the lid. With a deep breath he let go and watched it disappear. He sat back, slumped against the side of his bed where Hermione's body lay in stasis. He reached up and held her hand before stepping back into his mind and joining her corporeal form to wait.

It was his last and only hope.

* * *

_"Right now_

_I give my life to live again_

_I'll break free, take me_

_My everything, I surrender all to you"_

_Celine Dion - I Surrender_


	6. The Discovery (3,745)

_A/N:**This Chapter now Beta'd 5/31/12**  
_

_**No content warnings.** _

_Thank you very much to all my reviewers and to you readers. You are my motivation and make this all worth while! Happy Tuesday!_

_Mood Music - 'Ideekay' by Ephixa_

_Disclaimer: Not mine, no money._

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Discovery**

_Spinners End, Cokeworth, August 13th 1976_

The last days of summer hols were where coming to a close at a speed that seemed to defy the existence of time. It seemed impossible for those last few days to drag on any longer than they currently were. Severus was not happy about being home during the summer, he hated it there. His muggle father was against everything relating to magic, making living at home a miserable experience for Severus.

He enjoyed his mum's collection of old school books and tomes and had read and memorized most before he had ever even started his first year. His one consolation this year is that his last magical relative from his mother's side had died. They had no other relatives so their dwindling fortunes had been left to his mother, which consisted of a little more than one year of his father's pathetic salary in galleons, some jewelry and a very large library collection filled with all kinds of magical literary gems. He usually spent his summer rereading old text books hidden away in his room but this summer was infinitely more interesting with so much new reading material.

But even still, he was extremely anxious to leave the house, before something really bad happened. He seemed to have reached that age in which he'd become a threat to his father just by existing. Strangely he was a good half foot taller than his father and starting to fill in a bit of scrawny muscle, no longer the small boy that could be thrown around and used as a punching bag. He'd grown a good 8 inches while attending his 5th year at Hogwarts, and when he came back from school was looking down, rather than up, at his father. Everything he did seemed to be some sort of instigation of his father's anger at him, so things were abnormally more flammable at home, and Severus could felt as if a single stray spark could ignite the time bomb that seemed to be looming.

He could usually look forward to escaping his home to hang out with Lily frequently over the summer but her family had taken a trip the last few weeks of the hols to visit relatives. Severus fond it best if he just hid in his room quietly like he wasn't home. His mother was a sweet woman but was prone to depressive episodes where she withdrew from everything and Severus grew up feeling that he wasn't really loved or wanted by either parent and learned very quickly to fend for himself.

Severus had managed to find a part time job for some of the summer as a newspaper delivery boy, something he had to keep secret if he wanted to be able to keep his money from turning into liqueur money for his father. Luckily for him he'd 'procured' a broom the year previous from winning a bet with Mulciber. He used the broom to do his route completing it quickly very early in the morning.

The cash he earned went to buying his first ever new clothes. They weren't much to look at, very plain and basic but at least they fit him. He was tired of being mocked all the time at school. He always gave as good as he got, but he'd still rather not draw the attention by standing out like a sore thumb in badly fitting clothes. For the first time he took grate care in packing his school trunk, to pass the time as well as out of a guarded jealousy for his new things.

Having packed his trunk already twice, and read most of the really interesting books from his dead great uncle or something he really had nothing to do. He decided to use the time to work on a few spell ideas he had gotten from the new library, and began scribbling down runes calculations on a very ink covered piece of parchment.

A loud "thump" sounded from behind him where he sat at his cramped desk writing. Turning quickly with his wand drawn Severus noticed an unfamiliar chest sitting on the floor in front of the bureau where it seemingly fell from. No one had been in his room but him so he knew it hadn't been there before. He eyed it suspiciously before leaving his desk and slowly approaching it. He wasn't of age yet so he couldn't perform any magic while not in school, which was unfortunate because he really wanted to see what it was. He was not as stupid as to just walk up and try to open a curious possibly magical chest. A veritable Pandora's Box situation if there ever was one. He doubted he should even touch it.

Kneeling down in front of the mysterious chest he lean over and examined it from all angles taking it in. It was a slightly smaller size than his school truck and was very well made, and seemingly antique. It had five bands with decorative metal bracings spanning the domed lid. The locking mechanism had a strange charm embedded into the wood above it. The charm had multiple rings that had runes and numbers engraved in them, and at the very center was a tiny hourglass containing glimmering gold sand. As he inspected it seemed to have some inscription also engraved on the rings that he couldn't quite make out. As he leaned closer to see it, fully absorbed in the charm feeling a tingle on the tip of his nose, when the lock clicked and unlatched itself as if about to open.

He jumped back away from it quickly in case something dangerous came jumping out at him, but nothing happen. He sat there trying to calm his heartbeat from the surge of adrenaline. He wanted to open it so badly. What was it? How did it appear here and why? He felt the key to this laid in the only really significant thing about the box. That charm.

He stood up and started pacing in his room as he tried to think of what it could be. Seized with an idea he stopped and ran to closet and began digging through the huge stacks of books examining covers before discarding them as not the one he was searching for. After a few minutes with books piled all around him he found what he was looking for and began flipping through pages to see if he could find the reference he'd remembered. Finding the reference he read it, then sat dumbfounded by the answer.

"I can't believe it." He said aloud to no one. Then extricating himself from the haphazard stacks of books he went back over to the chest and stared at it in wonder. He looked back at the reference in the book and everything fit. The reference was a description of a time turner and their known uses historically before their use was severely restricted by the ministry.

"What time did it come from?" He knew from what he read they could only turn time backwards not forward. After a moment of further reading he began comparing the runes from the book to those of the time turner, writing them down the date on a slip of paper. He sat back against the side of his bed in amazement staring at the date written there.

"August 13th, 1998." Someone had sent a chest twenty two years into the past from inside his room. His first thought was,_ I'm actually surprised this house is even still here that long from now. Or maybe it isn't_. He shrugged. He really wanted to open it now but he had to figure out what that tingling was and why the chest unlocked itself so suddenly. It then dawned on him,

_What if I sent it to myself? Whoever did would have to have known who was living here right now? It must be meant for me to open._ He rationalized. Since he couldn't use his wand to test for anything unseemly he decided to test for anything fatal with a rat. He knew he could find one easy enough in the basement. And so he bolted out of his room at a breakneck speed to go capture one.

A few hours later he returned with a squirming squeaking pillowcase. Hurrying past where his mother sat staring blankly out the kitchen window from a counter. Shutting his door quietly, Severus shuffled the pillowcase about till he could grab the rat by the tail and dangle it into any existing wards. He lowered the mouse and it seemed to come to a stop entirely a quarter of an inch before touching the chest, proving there were indeed magical barriers in place that were at least not allowing a rat to pass through. As the rat seemed fine and not going to die painfully Severus was pretty sure it was safe to touch.

Severus moved to his window opening it and dropping the rat outside before returning to the chest. Holding his breath He reached forward when he got close enough he didn't feel a solid barrier but rather a faint tingling. He tested putting his hand into the space a few more time testing the sensation. It seemed to almost be pulling at his magic, beckoning it forward. With a gulp he laid his hand on the top of the chest and nothing happened. He waited a moment to see if it was enchanted to open up and bite him. Rudolfus Lestrange pulled a prank on him like that his first day at Hogwarts; it was rather unpleasant and his knuckles where bruised badly by it, earning his first of many trips to the hospital wing.

Sliding his hands to the sides, as the latch was already opened, HE grasped the edges and opened the chest to see a small vial lain atop a black velvet covering a scroll placed alongside it. Debating which to look at first he decided to grab the scroll, unfurling it to its full length he stared at the words written there in a familiar looking spiky script.

"The vial is a memory.

Pour it into the stone basin.

Touch the liquid to view the memory.

- The Half-Blood Prince."

No one knew of that nickname, it was one he used privately as it was a stupid nickname to begin with. He'd made it up when he was in his first year freshly induced into Slytherin where pedigree was everything. He quickly figured out that coming from a muggle home was not something that was welcomed. So he'd kept the name private.

The chest was definitely sent back in time by his future self. What did he want to tell himself that was so important? Time turners were extremely rare from what he had read in the book only minutes before. Setting the not aside he picked up the small vial then pulled back the velvet covering revealing a shallow stone basin fitted into a lift out tray for the box.

Severus uncorked the vial and poured the silvery, almost gaseous, liquid into the basin and watched it swirl with colors iridescently. Taking a deep breath he stuck his finger into the liquid feeling it pull him into it, coming face to face with a much older version of himself inside the same ugly small bathroom in the hallway. He listened intently to the dangerous sound in old Snape's voice, impressed by the power of command the man had for such a quiet tone.

_"Listen closely. As I am sure you have deduced thus far, I am in your future. There is much in this future that has gone wrong, if you had only used more of your impressive faculties and made different choices this future would not be so dire. Alas, I know myself well enough now that nothing short of telling you the consequences of your actions and in-actions will have changed how you'll act over the next few days. You MUST act as I have outlined in the journal you'll receive with this memory. Your happiness and life depend on your actions, not to mention the lives of so many others."_

_The older Snape paused, and looked down as he tiredly passed a hand over his eyes. He took a shuddering breath before continuing,_

_"Forget your hatred of Potter and Black, and remember your affection for Lily." He smiled faintly as he seemed to remember better times. Then with renewed force he continues, "She is the reason you will do it all. In time the pain of loss will fade, but do not let her sacrifice go to waste."_

Severus watched has the man struggled with his emotions, frowning, knowing that he would never let someone see him that vulnerable. He assessed the older man; seeing his stress lined, gaunt pallid features, morph with a mixture of grief and anger. _He looks deadly vicious, for an old guy. Seems a bit older than_ ... He counted in his head for a moment, _Only 38?! Life has not been kind to us my friend_. His older-self wrestled control of his emotions and started speaking again tersely.

_"Dumbledore cannot save Lily; He doesn't save her, and neither can you. That dotty old fool!" he growls, "Do not leave the future in his hands. Despite his methods he is in fact working for the greater good. But I do NOT agree with the cost of his plan to save the wizarding world."_

_What's this about saving Lily, She's in danger? And what's Dumbledore got to do with all of it … save the world?_ Severus wondered then he gulped. _Whoa this is deep._

_"You have the ability to make sure more than one life is much more meaningful. In the set of memory vials I have sent you, each one has a date lock spell on it which will unlock at the appropriate time for viewing. It is too soon for you to see, to know all of what will happen. But I will say this of it now; your affection for Lily will help see you through your double life, but there will come a time when your devotion to Lily will not be enough to carry you through the darkness unbroken. The final vial contains my hopes for your future when the Dark Lord is once and for all sent into oblivion. May you succeed in banishing this existence in which I live from reality and in to the realms of nightmarish imagining where it belongs."_

Severus sat back on his heel, still kneeling in front of the open chest. _It's all about that guy that Pureblood activist that Lucius and Rudolfus work for, Tom Riddle. They call him the Dark Lord in private, when they don't know anyone is around. So something is going to happen in a few days something bad happens to Lily and I have to somehow save her because Dumbledore won't be able too? No wait he said I wouldn't be able to save Lily either. I don't get it what's going on? _Severus shook his head then dove into the chest carefully removing the lift out tray and peered inside looking for the journal he said had the information he needed.

He pulled out the soft leather-covered journal and opened it, seeing only blank pages he kept flipping. _The whole thing is empty! What kind of sick joke is this?_ He thought frantic to find out what's going to happen to Lily. He moved back to the inside cover and saw one word in that spiky scrawl.

"Write."

Going to his desk he pulled out a quill and ink and sat down. "What's going to happen to Lily?" He wrote sloppily.

"She dies." The enchanted journal answered him. And Severus choked in shock.

"When? How? How do I save her?" He wrote frantically.

"I don't believe you can save her. It is her fate to die." It said.

Severus was sure that his older self was wrong, _How could Lily have such a fate? No, there must be a way to save her._

"Tell me what you want me to do." He wrote his hands trembling.

"You have to save the Longbottoms. The Dark Lord is going to kill both families not just the Potters."

"What do I care about the Potters, James can rot in Hell?"

"Lily Potter, née Evans. Lily, James and their son are targeted by the Dark Lord. You know this, it's your fault!" The book replied Severus writes

"Lily didn't marry James, she won't even look at him, and he's an arrogant prick! Besides we haven't even started our 6th year. Even people who get married young don't get married before their 7th year." Shaking his head,

_There is no way anything his future self said is accurate. No way_.

"What date is it now?" the book scrawled.

"August 13, 1976." He replied. The book didn't respond. And after a few minutes the words written there began to fade out and go invisible.

"When does this all happen?" He asked it but still got no response.

"The memory said it was crucial that I follow the plan for the next few days. What am I supposed to do?" He asked the book again. This time it responded.

"It's not the right time."

"Well what time is the right time? When was I supposed to do all this?" Severus probed rather irritably.

_Damn thing doesn't even know what's going on!_

"I can't say. It is too soon."

"Well what can you tell me then, what's it got to do with Dumbledore, and Tom Riddle, the one they call the Dark Lord?"

"You join the Pureblood Movement when you graduate becoming one of his Death Eaters, in exchanged for a sponsorship through your Potions Mastery."

"Lily would never speak to me again if I did something like that?" He wrote back. "Besides why would I, I'm a half-blood, an undesirable taint to their pureblood ideal?" Severus was getting increasingly confused.

He had hung out on occasion with Lucius and Lestrange a little in his first year then they graduated and moved on, he had heard from a few other students that ran in the same circles that they were following the self-titled "Lord Voldemort" and recruiting more like minded people. Though to be fair, he'd never told anyone he was a half-blood, just letting the other students assume that his family's name was not from Britain therefore not one they were familiar with.

"Lily does stop speaking to you, for your seeming pureblood ideals." The book replied.

"But I don't have pureblood ideals when did I, or you rather, start that?" Severus queried.

"In the end of sixth year, Potter and his gang attack you near the willow on the shore of the lake. He humiliates you with Levicorpus. You should keep a closer eye on your potions text book. It gets stolen, no doubt by Potter or Black, and they think it would be good fun to try it out on you. Lily steps in and berates him but you lash out and call her a mudblood. Lily never forgives you for it, refusing to talk to you since she believes it proof of your secret pureblood motive. She listens to the rest of the Gryffindors, the marauders in particular, believing you to be on a path to becoming a dark wizard. Your obsession and proficiency with the dark arts doesn't help your case. In the end you join Tom Riddle, in your 7th year, when Lucius takes you to a meeting and you listen to the Dark Lord preach his tripe. Lucius then becomes your sponsor for your Mastery."

Severus sat dazed. He could easily imagine it all. He currently had no idea what he would do after Hogwarts but he had hoped to get his potions mastery, but had no way to pay for it. He'd dreamed of developing a potion to patent while in school and it leading him into a greater status. It had never been heard of before but he wanted to do it; to prove his worth, if only to himself. And he would never intentionally call Lily such a name, since he didn't believe that "tripe" as his older-self called it, being a Slytherin meant he was quite used to hearing it. It didn't sound unreasonable to have it slip when he was under extreme duress.

"Well I'm not going to let any of that happen. I'll NEVER join your Dark Lord and end up responsible somehow for Lily's death. I won't! I won't let it happen." With that he slammed the journal closed put it and everything away in their place in the chest, deep in thought. He had to figure out a way to keep all of that from happening.

It seemed that his future self hadn't planned on getting the information to him this early. Maybe it had something to do with how far back the time tuner had traveled. The reference he read about time-turners said that only going back a few hours at a time could maintain any amount of accuracy and precision. Attempting to send it a whole 20 years in the past there were bound to be some variations.

Lying in his bed Severus stared at the ceiling wondering over all that he knew had gone wrong, and it was the part his future-self claimed couldn't be change. To think of everything else, it was overwhelming. He felt the weight of the responsibility rest heavily on him, like Atlas of Greek mythology.

_What am I going to do?_


	7. Of Animal Magnetism (3,664)

A/N:_**This chapter now Beta'd 5/31/13**_

**No Content Warnings. Fluff and good feels in this one.**

Mood Music: 'Lex' by Ratatat

A very big thanks to all my reviewers, including you guests that I can't reply to individually via PM. You all are freaking awesome and I love you! Thanks for keeping me going with all your kind words and input. Truly, it does more than you know.

Quick quiz: Can anyone recognize the Chapters title theme? They are all in reference to one thing. First person to name where the 'theme' is lifted from in a review can claim a prize of their choice out of; a Photomanip/drawing of their favorite Let the Arrow Fly scene, or a prompted SS/HG One Shot. Anyone? UPDATE: Chapter Theme Contest Winner is EmilyWoods! Check out the reviews page to see what the correct answer was and then chapter 10, it has a link to the full size photomanip that was the prize. It's also now set as the cover photo for this story. Feel free to copy, save, share the photomanip however you like.

Disclaimer: Not mine, No money.

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**Chapter 6: Of Animal Magnetism**

A week later found Severus anxiously awaiting the time to board the Hogwarts Express upon platform nine and three-quarters. He had arrived so early that he spent nearly an hour sitting in the muggle train station waiting for the platform portal to open. He wanted to be sure that he would be there when Lily arrived. So that he could keep a close eye on her and make sure she made it safely to the train.

He had wanted to bring her to the station himself but knew that to even ask it would raise her alarm. Not to mention, Lily actually had caring parents who wanted to see their daughter off to her magical boarding school every year. Lily had wonderful parents.

_Though Petunia could jump off a cliff._ He thought.

Petunia Evans was extremely spiteful and had teased Severus mercilessly when he had first met her and Lily. If he'd actually at any point in time, believed her to be even a marginal threat to him, he would have declared her his enemy; he loathed her so much. However she was completely harmless, all bark and no bite, so he grew an even thicker skin and learned to turn the tables on her with his biting sarcasms that left her sputtering and sent her huffing away in indignation.

Looking at his watch once more impatiently, he began to pace back and forth in front of where his trunk sat just inside the entrance of the now open platform. The train departed promptly at 11 am, and he expected her to arrive any moment as the platform slowly began to fill with more and more families, trunks in tow. He quickly stowed his trunk reserving them a cabin before returning to wait for her arrival.

Lost in thought while he waited, he mulled over the conclusions he had come to over the last week after having received information from the future. Still it was hard to comprehend the magnitude of what was going on, but he had questioned the diary extensively about the Dark Lord until he knew all he would ever want to know of the maniac's organization and motives.

The diary seemed to only be willing, or possibly only able, to give him general information. He tried repeatedly to reword his questions to get the book to tell him everything and it would respond, "I can't say. It is too soon." He gathered there was some form of enchantment, a time-lock as the memory said, that only allowed the journal to reveal so much information at a given time.

He had deduced that there was no guarantee on when on the time line a time-turner would appear the further one tried to travel. After much research and arithmetic calculations, he had found that 20 years distance was roughly the limit in the time-turner's capabilities. The breaking point, before the results of the travel became so wildly unpredictable that it was not even worth the effort.

He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He questioned the diary further and found that the old man was aiming for the 20 year point trying to get as far back as he could and hoping for the best. The old man had no way of knowing with certainty that he would be able to send the memories back in time to save Lily.

For some reason, that Severus didn't understand yet, the journal seemed resigned to the belief that Lily's death is inevitable, her fate, it called it. When Severus interrogated it as to why it would be, it would maddeningly reply, "I can't say. It is too soon."

These responses from the journal prompted another argument. Severus postulated that if he was supposed to fix everything shouldn't he be given ALL the information from the beginning? The journals answer was that,

"We don't want to change the few good things that happened because our younger self is overzealous to get it all perfect. Some things must occur naturally. Just like I can't tell you what potion you manage to create and patent while still in school, or else you won't have to work at getting it. You need that experience to hone your skills and your character. Those experiences make us who we are. Rather I will guide you at the right times, when it is most crucial. You must not depend on me to make your every decision, and wipe your nose for you like a sniveling child."

The journal veritably sneered at him through the slicing, spiky handwriting on the pages, causing Severus to slam it shut with the force of his indignation.

Apparently the charm in place on the journal was such that anything that happened earlier than the intended time of its arrival, it was free to discuss at length. But he couldn't get the book to discuss anything about what it said happens after the attack on the "Potters" and the Longbottoms.

He knew that he'd join the Death Eaters, and is ordered to become a teacher at Hogwarts, and spy on Dumbledore for Riddle. He also knows that he overhears a prophecy and relays it to the Dark Lord which is what causes him to target Lily and the Longbottom's infant boys. What he doesn't know is when all of this happens. So he must wait until the time draws near and hope that the old man knew what he was doing by setting a time-locking charm on the information.

He did feel a bit smug that the journal had told him that he would create and patent a potion whilst in school, if not telling him what potion it was. It was still something, and it made him excited knowing that it would happen if he continued to work at it.

Severus' plan of action now was to protect Lily, and to never join the death eaters. His love for the dark arts could take a back burner without question for his love and affection for Lily. Until now he had not really called it "love", but feeling the fear of her loss he knew it was stupid to deny it any longer. He would spend the rest of this year trying to get closer to her and to keep her as far away from Potter as he could. There was no way he would let that pompous prancing scoundrel take her from him. Even if he ultimately had to suffer humiliation at his enemy's hands in silence to convince Lily he was the better man. He would do it. He would do anything to save her.

Severus finally see's Lily coming through the portal on her father's arm. Her mother and father always had such looks of wonderment and awe on their faces when it came to anything magical. It really wasn't any wonder that Petunia and Lily had such a rift between them. Because Lily had turned out magical, and not both of them the jealousy from Petunia was palpable, and there was no doubt that Petunia loved that Lily spent her time away at a boarding school all year so that she could have all her parents' attention during the school year.

Lily saw him waiting for her and her eyes lit up, "Wotcher Sev! You've been here waiting for us? Oh, you're so sweet!" Lily said gleefully and gave him a stunning smile. Severus dipped his head to hide his blushing, while he reached for the handle on her rolling trunk to relieve her of the burden. "I am not sweet Lily. I've missed my best friend, who I've not seen for half the summer." Severus looked up at her, and gave her a tiny grin. Turning to her parents to be polite he said "Did you enjoy your holiday Mr. and Mrs. Evans?" Lily's mother spoke up, "Indeed we did Severus, Thank you. I always love visiting our relatives in Ireland they are so lively we always make such wonderful memories. Did you enjoy your break as well?" He nodded deferentially, "It was sufficient Ma'am. I had plenty to read, as you know, I inherited a whole library's worth of magical tomes mid-summer from my mother's last surviving relative. I was very busy with consuming it."

"Oh ho, a right bibliophile! Like myself, eh Sev'rus. Never can do better than a good book, eh son?" Lily's father interjected merrily.

"Oh I'll send my condolences to your poor mother, is she handling it very well?" The mother questioned. Severus winced, a look that was not lost on those present, and tried to smile to cover it. "She's the same as always, Mrs. Evans. I'm sure she will appreciate your concern however."

Seeing that they had made him uncomfortable Lily chimed in and diverted their attention to saying goodbyes. Severus stood to one side watch has the happy family passed around hugs and kisses; Petunia included, for all her barking about Lily being a freak all the time, she still loved her sister immensely. With a wave goodbye to them, he pulled Lily's trunk toward the train to load it on for her and she placed her arm in his and gave it a little squeeze.

"I've missed you too, you great big grump." Lily smiled at him.

"Yes, well I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday, I was working some of the time anyhow, and really did read half a library worth of books." He frowned when he remembered the memories and journal, all of which were inside the chest locked inside his school trunk.

Lily caught the look and her expression grew concerned. "It's not gotten any worse at home has it? Nothing bad has happened right?" Severus shrugged, letting her think that's what it was, so that he wouldn't be tempted to tell her everything he knew. The journal told him it was important he not tell anyone about what he learned from the future, including Lily. It brought in too many variables if another person was also trying to evade the future. There was no way to guarantee or control how the other person handled the information. Severus agreed reluctantly to this logic.

"My father is a walking time bomb lately, he feels very threatened by me. So I didn't come out of my room much. We still had a few fist fights and brawls though, when he was drunk. Nothing I can't handle." He said with as much macho posturing as he could. To this Lily rolled her eyes and tried to hide her concern behind a humored smile. She knew how much he hated her pity. He always got pity from people. He wasn't weak or helpless so he need not be pitied. Life's not fair and it's not easy, but this was his life and he won't be allowing people to treat him like a martyr. It was unconscionable.

Once they were settled on the train in a private cabin. Severus stretched out his legs across the empty bench folding his arms behind his head. He was facing the door so as to keep an eye out for his tormenters. Not out of any conscious decision, but due a reflexive paranoia that they could and would attack him at any moment just for the hell of it. Lily mimicked his comfortable position facing him and they talked long, of all that they had done and learned over the month that she was away.

They conversed easily; it was very obvious to others that they were close friends whenever they happened to hear them. It unnerved others to see Severus so relaxed and kind looking around Lily. A precious few people ever saw it, for Severus was fiercely private and would only open up thus when he was sure that no one was around to listen in.

After the last year when James was spying on Lily like the creeper he was, catching them in their intimately friendly manner. James had gotten more and more vicious with his attacks due to his jealousy, and subsequently so did the rest of the marauders. Because of this Severus began working on a way to secure the privacy of his and Lily's conversations, not only for the reason of keeping his relaxed and "nice" side hidden from the world, but also because he and Lily frequently discussed a wide variety of theories and potion idea's. It would be tantamount to his success, _oh all right and his pride_, to secure a patent on a potion whilst still in school. He wasn't going to let his arch nemesis steal that away from him.

Only days before term began, Severus had finally completed the spell and he was anxious to share the success with Lily.

"You remember that spell we discussed to deter eavesdroppers?" Lily nodded in reply looking interested. He smirked smugly "I've finally figured it out. I don't know why we didn't think of it before." Severus leaned forward and putting his feet down and his elbows on his knees as he continued conspiratorially. "We'd always gone for Latin word with a root meaning near silencing, or deafness. You have no idea how close I came to passing out when I tried 'praeligo'. It literally gaged me!" Gesturing theatrically "Conjured a cloth and stuffed it so far into my mouth I nearly vomited and drown in my own sick; and I didn't even attempt to use 'strangulo'." He said comically, to which Lily had been dying with laughter, rolling over clutching her sides with mirth. Severus' eyes sparkled as he watched her laugh. He loved to make her smile and laugh, and he smiled as he watched her try to control the laugh and wipe at her eyes for the tears that formed.

"Well go on then" Lily prodded, playfully back handing him in the shoulder to continue, sitting up on the edge of her seat in front of him. "Don't leave me in suspense. You found one that worked?"

Severus grinned mischievously, tossed his long hair over his shoulder, while pulling his sleeves up dramatically. He cast the Muffliato silently at her, filling her ears with a buzzing sound. Then just to irk her he said, mouthing the words exaggeratedly so she could read his lips,

"What is it worth for you to know?" quirking a brow at her calculatingly. Lily's renowned temper flared playfully "I've heard that you are secretly dying to have pink hair for the entire school year." She deadpanned, brandishing her wand at him and returning his quirky expression.

"Slytherin!" He said exaggeratedly with a wide eyed look of mock shock. Lily's face twitched as she tried not to laugh at him then began to move her wand. Quickly Severus cast the Finite, holding his hands up in defeat. "All right! All right! You win." He chuckled silkily. "It wasn't a Latin word at all. It's 'Muffliato'" He enunciated with a smile then turned to the cabin door and aimed, "Like this." He said, showing her the wand movement once before casting the charm.

As Lily practiced the motions Severus slid in beside her and wrapped his arm around her, guiding her arm in the correct motion. When they were done they leaned back side by side and she rested her head on his shoulder, his arm still wrapped around her shoulders. He rubbed her arm comfortingly like he had so many times before, and just listened to her talk to her hearts content. Interjecting here and there in the conversation, but mostly caught up in just enjoying the feeling of her in his arms, of knowing she was safe.

He was absently twirling some of her hair round his finger while she told him an amusing story about her trip. He was caught off guard by the story and laughed out loud, really laughing, not just chuckling. He laughed so hard that he had tears in his eyes and he leaned forward extricating his arm from Lily to wipe his eyes with both hands as he fought to steady his breathing, sighing amusedly.

Right at this moment their cabin door was thrown open and none other than James and his gang stood at the door.

"Oh, really Snevillus! You couldn't even wait until we got to Hogwarts before going and sniveling all over poor Evans nice robes? 'Cause life's so hard you needed to get her to pity you the moment she set foot on the train? Pathetic!" He nodded arrogantly at his friends impressed with his witticism; Black met his fist bump and grinning maliciously, Pettigrew could be seen ginning madly from behind trying to get a better look in from behind his much taller friends, & Remus looking uncomfortable but smirking all the same.

Severus' face immediately went blank, and his eyes narrowed to stare at them with a hard look. He was fighting to not instigate it further with his own scathing reply; _he had to remember to prove he was the bigger man_. He coached. Then he got a wickedly good idea and the malicious glee shown in the crinkle around his eyes. James saw it and seemed to briefly show a bit of fear.

"Hello boys. I trust - you all had a good summer?" He drawled in that silkily dangerous tone he had picked up from the old man, meeting each of their eyes in turn challengingly calm. A little thrown off by his apparent good natured response and lack of the normal rise they got out of him; the gang floundered looking at each other rather dumb founded, and with a tinge of fear showing from hearing this unexpected commanding tone. Severus had not been a late bloomer into manhood, unlike every other guy in their year who would still get the occasional squeak of a voice breaking.

Severus had full command of their attention, and Lily's as well who was peering around him, and looked at his face when he spoke looking surprised.

"No? Was Sirius that much of a disappointment when he finally convinced you to swing his way James? I know he really let down Remus last year. It seems to be a sad trend." Severus tisked at them mockingly. They were all agape at him and he continued before they could interject.

"Fortunately for you James, I can spare you the humiliation of letting poor Lily here down easy." With that Severus turned to Lily, while they sputtered in outrage.

"You…" Black started to say but Severus interrupted him, using every ounce of courage he had and praying Lily didn't murder him for putting her on the spot.

"Right Lily? Weren't you just saying you'd be my girlfriend? No need to be disappointed now that Potter's taken." He crossed his fingers, technically he was still asking. He fought the urge to wince when she hesitated, trying to keep his face in nonchalance. Then unexpectedly, Lily leaned into him and kissed him soundly on the lips, before patting his cheek once, a little more forcefully than necessary. Lily dramatically clutched her chest, mocking James in her turn,

"My heart will go on, Sev. You have saved me!" She finished throwing the back of her hand to her head in theatric distress. Then as James was standing there gaping like a fish, Sirius looking fit to blow a gasket if he got any redder, Remus trying to hide a grin behind his hand and still look shocked, and only Peter's hair visible between his taller friends shoulders; Lily said dismissively,

"No need to worry your perfectly preened head over my broken heart now James. But if you don't mind you interrupted me about to snog my boyfriend silly, I don't think you'll want to see." With a flick of her wrist she pushed them out of the doorway and slammed it in their faces with a spell. James' shocked expression looking in on them from the glass for a moment before huffing off in a rage, his cronies in tow dazedly.

Severus immediately began laughing uncontrollably, and threw himself back into the cushion clutching his sides. Lily whipped her head around to glare at him her waist length fiery hair catching his face with a painful velocity. "Ow!" Severus said, and he giggled, then gulped and stopped grinning completely when he saw her expression. _Oh I'm' going to get it now._ He thought.

Poking him in the chest to enunciate each word Lily berated him, "If that wasn't so bloody brilliant you been on you rear out in the corridor with them, you sodding slytherin!"

"Ow!" he whinged at her poking, holding up his hands in surrender at her assault. "Hey! OK, OK! I shouldn't have asked you on the spot like that, I'm sorry." Then when she stopped he took on a serious expression, "But I meant it, I would like it if you would be my girlfriend." he said nervously in a quieter voice. Lily smiled at him playfully with only a hint of shyness showing through her brazen gryffindor streak.

"Yes, I know. And so did I." Then Lily leaned into him, placing her hand on his chest and kissed him with a delicate, savoring slowness.


	8. A Furry Little Problem (4,396)

A/N:_**This chapter now Beta'd 5/31/13**_

OK, so a reviewer pointed out an error I made in the timeline for Severus Snape's Worst Memory in cannon. I miscalculated the time line in my excitement when I wrote the idea for this story down. So that whole confrontation with Lily and the 'Mudblood' thing in my story won't have happened yet. I have it set in the end of 6th year when it was supposed to happen at the end of 5th year. Sorry for any confusion but yeah we haven't reached that point in my timeline yet. I did however update this as AU so as not to upset anyone when they find any errors. I will strive to keep it all cannon, but somethings will be changed ultimately.

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money.

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**Chapter 7: A Furry Little Problem**

The start of the school year was mostly uneventful. Severus and Lily were really not much different from how they were before. The major difference was his ability to kiss Lily and hold her when they had sufficient privacy, but even that was something of a novelty to find in Hogwarts. They would walk hand in hand to classes they shared, but they were the very model of discretion as a couple. Lily, being a prefect demanded that they follow all school rules and set an example, reluctant to even sneak into a side corridor with Severus to steal a moments embrace or lingering kiss. Their relationship to all others appeared to be unchanged, and that suited them both just fine.

They spent a lot of time together under a nice shade tree near the lake's edge, studying and trying to come up with new spells. Severus was diligently trying to come up with an idea for a potion to create, but he had yet to happen upon a need for one. So he kept researching other potions and they would discuss theories of how to change them. But nothing ever held up under heavy arithmetic calculations, so each idea was abandoned in turn. Along the way they experimented and slowly began filling the margins of his potions texts with notes on improving each potion one way or another.

In early November both Lily and Severus set aside the potions research in their spare time to instead study to become an animagus. They had just started to study the art in transfiguration, and both were excited by the idea of being able to take an animal form. Severus tried extremely hard to ignore the very over the top gloating from James and Sirius during these lessons. He had learned late last year rather unfortunately of Remus' condition after being set up by Sirius to go looking through the tunnel under the whomping willow. He was very nearly maimed or killed but was saved barely in time by James, who managed to transform into his stag form and run Remus off so that Severus could get away. Dumbledore had then made Severus swear not to say a word of Remus' condition or the methods used to subdue him. Much to Severus' disappointment, Dumbledore didn't do a thing to the marauders for their very obvious breaking of rules, regularly using their cursed friend and a flimsy excuse of self sacrifice for the greater good. This favoritism made Severus extremely bitter towards Dumbledore, but ultimately he felt sorry for Remus and didn't want to make his life more difficult than it was.

But sitting in class listening to Sirius and James and be unable to say anything, he challenged himself to at least do something. He was better than them and he knew it. Severus decided he would become an animagus as well, and turned to Lily in excitement after the class was over.

"Let do it." Severus said leaning against her desk as she packed her bag.

"Do what Sev?" She looked up at him with a hint disbelief, and apprehension in her eyes. It took Severus a moment before he realized what the possible meaning if his statement could be and colored deeply in embarrassment.

"Animagus." He said grabbing their transfiguration textbook to clarify, and trying to completely ignore her misinterpretation so his face would return to normal. "Instead of pouring over potions, lets work on becoming animagus. I know we can do it." At his clarification Lily looked less like a deer in headlights.

"Oh right. Yeah, that would be fun. Let's!" She said then she grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Lily noticed James and Sirius watching her but grinning darkly. Lily frowned at them then indicated with her head to them at Severus.

"What's with them do you think? They've been acting like the cat that ate the canary all week." Severus gritted his teeth knowing he couldn't say anything.

"Who knows what goes through such simple minds." Severus said as he passed them in the hall earning a death glare from both Gryffindors. After walking a few minutes in silence toward their next class Lily spoke up.

"I'm really worried about Remus of late." Then seeing Severus expression she soothed him. "I know you don't like him much for not standing up to James and Sirius, but he really doesn't have any other friends, he's kind of, a loner. I've always helping him in the common room to catch up on work and I'm just worried. He says he has a rare medical condition that requires him to leave to receive treatment, but he comes back looking terrible, sometimes with gashes and bruises still recovering." She finished her explanation with a tone of bewilderment.

"Perhaps you should ask him directly, if he is as friendless as you say he'd no doubt be willing to confide in you. You do have a reputation for being overly kind to everyone." Severus evaded. He knew that if he sneered at her concern she would only be angry with him and they wouldn't be able to enjoy their study time together till he apologized to her. It was really hard business being "nice", it was exhausting. He put the thoughts of her concern out of his mind when they arrived at the next class.

* * *

It was later that week when they were working on meditation for learning one's animagus form that they got into their first serious disagreement. Severus had quickly found his form and was working on perfecting the incantation and focus needed to cast it properly, but for once Lily was stuck and couldn't figure out what her form was.

She was very irritable and snappy when ever Severus would try to guide her meditation, and help her focus. It got to the point were she shouted at him to leave her alone. Severus felt very affronted, there had been more than enough times in the past when she had done well at something before him and offered her aid to him and he accepted it graciously.

"If I'm such a bother I may as well just go." Severus said with hurt lacing his words, before turning on his heel, leaving her alone in the abandoned classroom they had been using to practice in. Severus didn't really understand why he was so upset by what she said. It was simple enough, he was aggravating her and she wasn't able to concentrate. He understood that. He decided it was just that she shouted at him. He hated shouting as it was the only tone he ever heard while at home, and Lily knew this better than anyone. It felt like a betrayal for her to yell at him.

_You're being an infant she just needs her space._ He reprimanded himself.

Needing to blow off some steam he decided to head out to the grounds before curfew, he felt confident he could transform by now, but had waited holding back for Lily so they could do it together. When he reached the tree they would normally study by when the weather permitted, Severus sat down on the grass wrapping himself tightly in his robes against the biting November air and began his meditation.

As he let the calm wash over him he was able to separate himself from the chill of the air and focus in-ward. For a moment he thought he had slipped off to sleep when he saw that he sat on a black rocky shore overlooking an inky black sea. But then realized he could open his eyes at will, and when he closed them the scene was there again. He walked up to the shore inside his mind and stared into the undulating surface of the rippled and then he could see the Lake where he sat meditating, like a reflection on the ocean water's surface. When he touched the reflection he seemed to slide back into his body and was aware of the cold and the pokey rock stabbing him in the arse. In wonderment he removed the offending rock and stared at it as if it had the answers.

_What was that?_ He wondered . He tried meditating again and he slide back to the shore again and the peace and quiet he found there listening to the gentle waves n the rocks.

He thought hard, trying to think of what this ability was called he was sure he'd read about it briefly in one of his uncle's books. Occlumency. He remembered and suddenly realized why he'd found it easier to find his form than Lily did. He'd read that not all wizards could occlude that it was very rare for anyone to use it with any measure of success against the mind readers, called Legilimens. He wasn't sure if he should tell anyone that he could do this, so he quickly talked himself out of telling Lily.

Refocusing on his animagus form, He stood on the shore of what he assumed was his subconscious. He thought hard over the form that he had found affinity with. Moments later a Raven alighted his corporeal shoulder and tilted its head, looking him regally in the eye. The Raven cawed at him, then took flight turning a wide loop before flying straight into his chest. The next thing he knew, Severus was sinking, or rather shrinking, his corporeal form being sucked down and absorbed into the form of the raven that had flown into his chest.

With barely a thought he took flight over the Ocean gaining height before diving through the water and into his physical body, only his body was now a Raven. He literally crowed with delight as he shot through the air, silhouetted by the full moon low on the horizon. Flying was so simple he didn't even have to think of the action he just did. Severus soared for hours around the school and explored the skies around Hogwarts for miles around. He didn't return to the school and change back to his own form until the sun had risen, watching it rise from the tip of the tallest tower. He never felt so free and alive in his life. He felt amazing for having just stayed up the entire night.

He walked back inside the castle with a spring in his step, having completely forgotten about his quarrel with Lily.

As it was still very early, when he got back to his dormitory he took his time as he showered and changed his clothes. Then on a whim, he decided to grab the journal and ask it if the old man had learned to transform. He curled up into a corner chair in the deserted Slytherin common room and began writing in it for the first time since term resumed.

"I'm an animagus!" He wrote to the book.

"Indeed." Was it's only reply, which made Severus frown. He'd hoped it would at least show interest seeing as how he couldn't tell anyone else but Lily about his form. The more he thought about it the more he was convinced that if she didn't learn to transform then he wouldn't tell her he did. She seemed to take it very personally if she couldn't do something that some witches or witches could do. Didn't matter that they knew from the offs that there was no guarantee either of them would be able to at all. He wondered if it had any connection with Occlumency. Because that was also the case there. He wondered if it was only the wizards who had stumbled on some form of occlusion that they were able to become an animagus. He decided to ask the journal if it knew. The journal replied. "Yes that is correct, only people who have some small ability to employ Occlumency can ever hope to achieve an animagus form."

" What was your form? " Severus asked the book wondering if that would have made a difference.

"A Raven, as I'm sure yours is also. Your form seems to depend more on your unconscious projection of yourself as an animal, usually taking on features similar to your own and usually paired with comparative qualities." The book lectured.

"I'm sure you have just recited word for word McGonagall's animagus lecture." Severus laughed as he wrote, and the book replied.

"Trust me her material doesn't change twenty years from now, and I sat in on her classes when I was in my first years of teaching learning tricks of the trade from her." Then Severus decided to tell the book of his relationship with Lily.

"Lily and I are dating now, since the trip in actually." He told it.

"What? That never happened before. I told you what was to happen, you can't go changing all the circumstances to everything! Or else the information I send you will be worthless when it is really needed to help. Lily ends up with Potter, accept that fact and move on, I can't tell you why." It wrote venomously. Severus didn't care what the journal said he wasn't going to let Lily end up with that pompous swine.

"Well I have changed it now haven't I, so I'm going to let it play out. We loved her why shouldn't we tell her before we lost her forever. If you are right and I'm not able to save her from what you claim is her fate then I will tell her of my love every day until the day I lose her."

"I will not help you down this path, if you cannot follow the guidance given I can and will trigger a banishing ward on all the information right now." The journal threatened. And the edge of one of the books pages began to smoke and singe.

"NO! I'll listen. It just happened that way ok, I didn't plan it." Severus wrote furiously to stop the slow crinkling of the paper.

"See that you do. I'll not hesitate next time." With that the book shut itself. Refusing to talk to Severus any further.

Severus went down to breakfast in the Great Hall in much different mood than before. Why did the old man insist that Lily would die and that she would end up with Potter. If she was dating him now surely that must mean there was hope for her yet. He was lost in thought and nearly ran right into Regulus Black, Sirius' younger brother as he entered the Great Hall.

"Whoa! Easy there Snape, where have you been lately we haven't had a game of chess all year?" Regulus said to him in a friendly way. Severus flicked his hair from his face and straightened his robes.

"Apologies Regulus, I've been a bit preoccupied with some projects." Severus replied evasively.

"Yeah, and I see you have finally asked Lily out. I never doubted that you would but always wondered when." Regulus laughed easily, then pointed to the Slytherin table, "Come on, sit with me. I've got some stuff I want to talk to you about."

Regulus was a good kid, only a year younger that his brother and Severus, and so vastly different from Sirius. If Severus could claim to have any friends at school it would be Regulus.

He had a hard time adjusting to Hogwarts quite like himself, and at the hands of his own brother. Sirius was cruel to Regulus for being Slytherin. Strange as it was, as Sirius was the one to break the mold for the Black family and end up in Gryffindor.

They both sat and began their breakfast making polite conversation. When Lily appeared in the great Hall Severus noticed she avoided his eye and sat with her back to him. Good, maybe she feels bad for yelling at me, I was only trying to help. He let her be and refocused on what Regulus was saying in a low tone to him.

"Have you been hearing what's been happening with Voldemort?" Regulus asked in a quiet worried tone. Severus tried not to flinch at the topic and then found himself firmly behind his occlusion. He was expecting someone to approach him to talk about joining this year, he never dreamed it would be Regulus. He wasn't the type for it, he was a kind quiet type, who seemed very open-minded, and had even dated a few muggle-borns himself.

"No, I haven't really been listening to any politics. Why?" Severus prompted. Regulus looked around like he didn't want others to over hear them so Severus silently cast muffliato.

"They can't hear you now."

"What spell is that?" Regulus asked curiously, though not surprised, Severus was known for being well versed in more spells than most 7th years when he was only a first year.

"One of my own." He answered completely expressionless. He really felt that his occlusion could help a lot, in getting information from the other Slytherins about the dark lord, without fear of his face giving away his disgust of their operations. Not that many of them were even aware of the atrocities they would be tasked to commit under Voldemort's Regime. The journal said that doesn't come out to the public until 1979, after series of brutal attacks.

"My parents have officially become financial supporters. It appears that Voldemort tried to apply as a teacher here at Hogwarts. But Dumbledore refused him the position of DADA. My parents have said all kinds of disparaging stuff about Dumbledore. It's actually what caused Sirius to move out over the summer, They disagreed about Dumbledore and Voldemort" Regulus said sadly. He obviously loved his brother, even if Sirius was downright cruel to him at times, as children they had been very close.

" What do you mean? He moved out, but where too?" Severus asked curiously.

"He moved in with James. He won't even talk to me anymore. Says we aren't family anymore. 'Spose he is right seeing as he has been disinherited." Regulus seemed uncomfortable so Severus diverted his gaze and looked to where James and Sirius usually sat at the Gryffindor table. Only oddly they weren't there. They were all sitting near a crying Lily in deep conversation, Black whispering something forcefully, James sitting across from her with a strange expression he couldn't place, and a noticeably still absent Remus. Severus almost frowned but was once again thankful for his occlusion. He was furious with jealousy.

_She has an argument with me and runs to the marauders of all people for comfort? What's going on? _Regulus seeing where Severus was looking said.

"Uh oh, They don't' look like they are having an innocent discussion. Want some back up."Regulus offered.

"No. It's between Lily and I. No one else." Severus said and that dangerous tone crept back into his voice. He slid out of the bench and walked over to where Lily sat trying to pretend as if she wasn't sitting with the enemy. And trying to figure out why she would go crying to them. His face still not betraying a hint of his inner turmoil. He could tell the occlusion was also muting the power of his emotions and the effect the had on his decisions, and was again thankful for it.

"Pardon Black, shove over." Severus commanded. Sirius didn't argue when he saw the fierce look in Severus' black eyes. Severus sat down next to Lily, straddling the bench to face her and she sobbed harder. Ducking her head down to hide her face. The sadness he felt that she was so upset over a stupid argument with him quickly overtook the jealously there before, then he did what he would never have done publicly before. He pulled her into his arms and comforted her.

He didn't say anything he just let her cry, and glared down James whose expression had gone hard and the rest of the Marauders, daring them to interrupt or comment on their private moment. Once Lily had calmed some, he whispered to her.

"Let take this where we can talk without everyone watching. I'm not angry at you." She looked up at him and nodded with an expression of extreme sadness. Severus led her outside to their study tree on the shore of the Lake. Once there he cast a muffliato. Lily began to pace and Severus just watched as she fretted with the tips of her hair.

"Lily what's wrong? Surely you can't be this upset over last night." Lily wiped her eyes then with a deep breath shook her head

"No I'm not, I'm really sorry I yelled at you Sev. Really I am, I never should have spoken to you like that, you were only trying to help." Severus gave her a small smile to show he really wasn't mad about it.

"It's ok, I figured it all out last night. Like I said, I'm not mad at you." He said and he surveyed her for a moment before continuing,

"What's got you so upset? Is there anything I can to help you feel better?" He saw for a moment, a look of fear cross her eyes and wondered what she was afraid of. Then she took a deep breath.

"I found something out about Remus last night, an-" Severus cut her off when panic overtook him. Not a single thought crossed his mind about his shield right then.

"What! You didn't get hurt did you? You haven't been bitten?" He rushed up to her and began searching her arms for marks.

"You knew about it and never told me?" Lily questioned looking hurt. Severus sighed, then explained the story of what happened and how he had promised Dumbledore not to say anything. Lily lost her outrage at him and then went to go on with her story.

"Well I was angry at myself for you yelling at you so I left for bed right after you. On my way up to the 7th floor I caught James and Sirius trying to sneak out under invisibility cloak. Well they didn't seem really be trying to hide from me at all, it all felt kind of staged now I think back on it." Lily said with a frown.

"What did they say." Severus probed curiously, but then decided to just let her finish the narrative without interruption.

"Talking about Remus and him being in trouble or something." She waved her hand dismissively at that then continued.

"I stopped them and told them I would turn them in if they were trying to leave the school. But somehow they convinced me that Remus was in trouble and needed their help. They said that if I followed them that they could prove it. So I did. on our way out Peter showed up and said Remus had gotten loose in the forest. They all went into animagus, but I couldn't. J - James helped me to find it" She stumbled. "but Remus ended up getting badly injured and is still unconscious in the hospital wing. It's all my fault because I held them up." She said sheepishly as she watched Severus' expression go even more pallid than it was.

"Are you out of your mind? You could have been killed, not to mention maimed or cursed for the rest of your life!" Severus grabbed her into a hug. "Please just stay away from them, before they get you killed." He said it without thinking and regretted it immediately. Lily tensed indignantly in his arms, pushing away from him to look at him with a reproving glare.

" I'm not helpless Severus, and Remus is my friend I'm not going to abandon him. Not when there is something I can do to help him."

"That's not what I meant, I only meant I don't want to see you get hurt. Please Lily, it's not safe. They are reckless and that makes them very dangerous. Help Lupin some other way. Please!" Severus pleaded with her. Lily seemed to think on the last one for a moment before saying thoughtfully.

"There must be something else that can be done, some cure, but Remus says that there isn't." Severus jumped on the idea,

"We could try to make a potion for him, if not a cure then something like a sedative to keep him safe during the transformation." He said it excitedly as idea's started to form in his head already.

Lily looked as if there was more that she needed to say but Severus wasn't paying attention. He started pacing and listing out ingredients to her to which she would nod quietly. Then Lily seemed to decided to keep her silence and not to say whatever was on her mind and took on a look of determination joining Severus in a detail discussion on potentials for curing Lycanthropy.


	9. One Grey Sky Morning (4,700)

A/N:_**This chapter now Beta'd 5/31/13 - NEW CONTENT ADDED: to fix a plot hole and clarify something that was left too vague.  
**_

Really quick I wanted to address questions about timelines, parallel versus single 'deleted then rewritten' universes. While parallel universe ideas are interesting to wrap ones' brain around while reading, for the sake of storytelling I don't like them. I approached this story with the later universe in mind; that the original Severus knew that tampering with time would cause his reality to cease to be. He couldn't possibly imagine a reality worse than the one he was in and he wanted to to end. He hoped that at the very least by tampering with time he would have a chance to do it all over.

Mood Music: 'Grey Sky Morning' by Vertical Horizon

Disclaimer:Not mine, I make no money.

* * *

**Chapter 8: One Grey Sky Morning**

_"And it may take some time to_  
_Patch me up inside_  
_But I can't take it so I_  
_Run away and hide"_

_Vertical Horizon - Gray Sky Morning_

Severus worked tirelessly over pursuit of a cure for Remus. Lily joined him on occasion because she felt obligated to try to help someone like Remus in need. Severus did it because he was sure this was the potion he was intended to create and to keep Lily from going out in her new animagus form to corral Remus. Even though Lily tried to assure to him that while transfigured they couldn't contract lycanthropy as it only transferred to humans, He didn't care. Severus had to find a way to keep her safe.

Curiously, when questioned about it a day later, Lily said that she hadn't been able to achieve her animagus form since that night, stating that she hadn't had a chance to get a look at the form it took so she wasn't sure what her form was. This raised alarms for Severus who would not have even thought twice about her story before she said this. He hadn't told her that he had managed to transform, so Lily wouldn't know that he knew what the experience was like. The discovering of your inner subconscious mind, and the subsequent summoning your animal affinity. He immediately began to question her story. Did she really manage to transform? And if she did, what did she mean by saying that James helped her? Severus became increasingly suspicious of James, and began to doubt Lily as well. He felt sure she was hiding something from him. He had to find out what it was.

Another interesting development occurred a week after the full moon when Remus was released from the Hospital wing. Severus was hard at work on Wolfsbane research while Lily took the chance to go in to Hogsmede with Alice and Helen. Severus was surprised when Remus knocked on the door of the abandoned classroom. Thinking that a person would only have knocked if they knew that someone was inside, and being stumped because he hadn't told anyone where he would be for the express purpose of not being found there and interrupted. He answered the door, opening it forcefully, with an eyebrow raised high and a look of disdainful query.

"Remus. Lost your way?" He drawled disinterestedly while peeking down the hall to see if he was under ambush. Severus frowned when he saw that he was alone.

"Severus, I was looking for you. Can we talk?" Remus asked looking determined but calm.

Flummoxed again, Severus threw the door open and stalked back to the cauldron he had left simmering with a potential base for the Wolfsbane, not looking back to see if Remus had entered or shut the door, he resumed his cleared his throat and began,

"I never got a chance to apologize for what happened at the end of last year, in the shack. Due to recent events it has become increasingly plain to me that I should have done this a long time ago." He waited for Severus to turn around and look at him so he could continue. Before he turned around Severus finished counting stirs then set down his ladle.

"You had plenty of opportunity to seek me out, you didn't. So let's not mince words." Severus said succinctly. "Sirius and possibly Peter might owe me an apology for trying to get me killed, but not you. You'd have been as much of a victim in the situation if I had met that fate." Severus paused cocking his head to the side, he gave Remus an appraising look.

"Did it never occur to you that your 'friends' have twice now used your vulnerable condition for their amusement and petty whims; that had something gone wrong, your life would be over, you'd be in Azkaban or executed. For a prank." Severus drove home eyes darkened in anger and his voice smooth and cutting; like razor barbed silk. Remus didn't flinch or waiver he only nodded,

"I realize it now if I didn't at first." He answered calmly. "You are absolutely right, Severus. I mean to correct my mistake. I wanted to promise to you now on my wand that it will never happen again." His words invoking a magical oath that belied his seriousness, "I won't endanger you, Lily, or anyone else any longer by being reckless with my condition or allowing the recklessness of my former friends to continue. I have made other arrangements for my containment to ensure this."

Severus was dumbfounded even if he didn't show it. He never assumed that Remus would break with his friends, but he certainly respected him more for it. He stood, leaning with folded arms against the long table he was working at, staring at the ground in thought. He wanted to tell Remus about his research but was reluctant to open up about it and give the cursed man hope where there might not be any.

"I appreciate your concern for the safety of others. I won't deny that I'll be quite happy knowing Lily will not be in harm's way trying to corral you with your feckless friends." Severus responded still debating internally on whether to tell him.

"Former friends, if they were really ever that." Remus said quietly, looking rather ashamed. "I also wanted to apologize for everything else." He didn't expound further as his embarrassment because thickly heavy in the air. Severus knew he was referring to all the bullying and teasing he'd received from the marauders over the years that though Remus rarely took part in he never did anything to stop it. Severus accepted what he had never dreamed he would be given and in that moment Severus made his decision,

"Well now that it is all behind us; would you consider allowing me to take advantage of your condition and potentially make an obscene amount of money?" he deadpanned.

Remus seemed a bit taken aback by this and looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "You are still oath bound to silence Snape." He said warningly.

"Yes I'm aware; however it won't be necessary to reveal your name in my attempts to create a cure for your condition, only a sample of your blood and some willingness on your part to act as a test subject. Tell me, what are the new arrangements for your containment?" Severus asked in a clinical tone.  
Remus paled in shock, "You've found a cure?" he whispered. Severus clarified smoothly, "Merely attempting to create one, or at the very least sedate you through the duration of the transformation and render you harmless." Severus turned to his table to attend the potion which needed stirring and 3 added ingredients. Remus circled the table looking at the potion materials and the piles of notes and parchments strewn out there.

"You've been doing all this for me?" He gestured to the cluttered table in awe and reverence. Severus winced at his extremely sentimental outlook.

"I did mention I had plans to make an obscene amount of money, didn't I? No, I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me." Then he said quieter. "I'm doing it to keep Lily safe."

"Yes, well, thank you anyway." Remus said then interrupting Severus' denial of having done anything yet, "I know that it doesn't mean that you will find anything for certain that will make even a bit of difference, I'm thanking you for caring enough to try, even if it's Lily that you care for and not me. Thank you." Severus pursed his lips and said no more hoping they could move on from it. Remus wandering around the table looking at various ingredients there, observing Severus work.

"As for my containment, I have recently discovered a room inside the castle that would allow me to remain completely ensconced, magically sealed away and inaccessible to anyone I do not wish to enter, until I am safe to return to general society." Severus looked up at Remus with a curious expression.

"And the Headmaster had never thought to use this room until now?" Severus asked incredulously. He was very quickly losing whatever awe he had in the venerable headmaster and wondering if his older self had it right all along; the man was going senile.

"I don't think Dumbeldore even knew about it or if he did he didn't know how to find it. It's known as the Room of Requirement. While the room is occupied it can be completely shut off to everyone else. It denies access to anyone who doesn't know what iteration to ask for. So I have to find the door, tell it what I need and enter. If I tell it I need to hide where no one can get in unless I have died, it will become that room and will not allow a single person inside while I live within. Unnervingly simple, but the headmaster himself tested my iteration of the room and could not gain entry even with access to the wards on the school as he does." Remus explained while Severus worked.

"And how can you guarantee that they won't follow you in under Potter's invisibility cloak or disillusionment." Severus quizzed him.

"Yes, you're very clever Snape, the headmaster tried that also, the door won't open for me at all if there is someone present as my iteration of it demands that no one but me can enter." He explained. Severus smirked at his compliment, "I am a Slytherin, after all." He said as if it explained everything.

Severus wondered briefly, _if I had met Remus before James and Sirius had on the train their first year, would we have been friends?_

He found himself thinking that Remus was not a bad guy, willing to make sacrifices for others a Gryffindor quality he still couldn't find a fault with, but also intelligent enough to figure out and find such an interesting solution to his problem. Severus found he liked talking to Remus as they spent the rest of the day in the abandoned classroom discussing many things, as if they had been friends all along. As if they didn't have the history they had. Severus almost felt momentarily like he'd been duped into giving up his grudge, cheated in his right to be angry at Remus. But he found on introspection that he simply didn't want to be angry at him anymore. He'd rather allow this seeming friendship to grow if it would, but be as cautious as any Slytherin befriending a Gryffindor would be.

Severus had come up with a handful of bases that day that might work as the starting point for the potion that he had titled Wolfsbane. He had planned to start experimenting with it over the Christmas holidays while everyone was gone, because he would need the first upcoming full moon on December 6th to prepare the Aconite. It was the key ingredient of his theorized potion, and if his predictions were right preparing the pulp of the Aconite petals under the height of the full moon would had the best chance at making the potion a success.

Severus and Lily seemed at a weird place in their relationship after her discovery of Remus' condition. For a few weeks straight she became really clingy and very affectionate but almost falsely so. Every time that they had managed to sneak a bit of intimacy she ended up turning away from him for one reason or another. She became awkward in his arms and he felt he was pushing her too much, so he would back off and end up just holding her in his arms for a while. They had never really done much but some heavy kissing, but now it seem he was lucky if she kissed him at all. He didn't know what to make of it and was trying very hard not to become wrapped up in some romantic drama. But it certainly didn't help his already growing suspicions of her hiding something from him.

Add to the mix her budding 'friendship' with the other marauders, and the very palpable increase in aggression from James, Sirius, and Peter. They were relentless in their assault on him at any opportunity. Many times they managed to evade repercussions for fighting and split off their separate ways. But in the few weeks' time that passed till Christmas break would begin they had all managed to end up in the hospital wing several times.

Remus remained completely absent from all the fighting. He refused to participate, or even speak with James and Sirius who took Remus' breaking of their friendship very personal. Peter seemed not to care as he was now getting a lot more of the two very popular boys time and attention rather than being a permanent hanger-on in the background.

As the full moon approached the tension between former friends reached it's breaking point. Harsh words word thrown about by Sirius, whilst James acted as if it was a lost cause and Remus had done them the ultimate betrayal, after all they had done to help Remus.

Severus heard about their blow out in the Gryffindor common room from Remus the next day. From the telling of it, it was painfully clear to Severus that the remaining marauders where more upset that they had lost their free pass to run around the school breaking rules, than they were upset at the loss of their friend for their endangerment of his and many other people's lives. Remus was very morose in his realization of the same conclusion, and Lily could be seen for the last week leading up to the full moon trying to smooth the rift between the friends.

Severus felt he had watched in silence enough, and decided that after the December full moon he would have to talk with Lily about everything he suspected. It made him increasingly cross. Lily had all but stepped away from any involvement in the potion development, and they spent less and less time together. She claimed she was spending extra time in her common room helping to tutor her friends and prepare for end of term exams and various reports due. He couldn't really call it into question as she had always helped other students once she had completed her own studies. But it didn't stop him from suspecting that James was included in the "friends" she was "helping".

After spending the entire night up preparing the aconite for the potion alone on the astronomy tower, while he imagined her sitting with the bemoaning buffoons in the Gryffindor tower, Severus packed away his supplies in a corner of the tower and took flight seeking the peace that had evaded him while mired down with suspicion.

For the first few moments of flight he felt as if it was a battle to stay in the air, his heart so heavy it felt liable to drag him from the skies to the hard unforgiving earth far below. He found it easier to slip behind his occlusion when flying so he was soon safely separated from the hurt inside him, enjoying the light of the moon glinting of the sheen of his inky feathers. While flying he felt he needed to converse with the journal, if only to refocus his purpose. _"Avoid the death eaters & keep Lily safe."_ was the mantra in his head, hoping it would help him put the things in his life into those boxes, and anything not fitting in them he shoved aside as unimportant.

He returned to the astronomy tower gathering his things and taking them to his dorm in the dungeons, where he performed his morning ablutions, before heading to the Great Hall for breakfast. He ate quickly then sat with a book waiting and watching the doors for Lily to arrive. When she finally entered the great hall she was laughing, nearly rubbing shoulders with James who seemed to be the source of her amusement, Sirius and Peter a step behind with smug expressions as they watched the two in front of them flirting. Severus looked up from his book watching covertly from the far corner of the Slytherin table where they wouldn't spot him easily. He continued to watch sadly until Lily was nearly done eating before approaching to speak to her.

It was Tuesday so Severus and Lily both had a free period, neither needing to take the Muggle Studies class like most of their classmates of their year. As he approached Severus didn't miss the kick Sirius gave James under the table or his nod in Severus' direction. James turned giving Severus a death glare, before he nudged Lily next to him with his arm to alert her of their visitor. Lily looked up from the table at Severus and he read the apprehension and guilt in her eyes.

"Lily, would you care for a walk?" Severus said offering her his hand gentlemanly, but with that tone of command in his voice again that implied he wasn't really asking, but demanding it. James growled,

"Greasy bastard!" under his breath. Which Severus ignored but lily shot him a silencing glare for. Lily took his hand, letting him help her out of her seat and then allowed him to take her bag from her. With her bag slung over one shoulder he offered her his other arm and they walked to the entrance in staid silence. Without really paying attention to where they walked the wandered the grounds until Severus spied a nice spot for a private conversation at the old circle ruins. He cast a Muffliato then setting down her bag he leaned against one of the stone pillars and crossing his arms and legs as he observed her. Lily took a seat on a toppled pillar that was almost perfectly bench height, facing him.

"What all this about, Sev? You're brooding about something so what is it." She asked but her expression said that she had expected, if not hoped for this conversation to happen. He watched her trying to not fidget for a second before he gazed off into the distance.

"My animagus, you've never asked me what it is. Remember we were going to surprise each other on the night that we were both able to transform together." He said by way of explanation. Lily frowned in confusion.

"You never said you managed to transform, so why would I ask? When did you anyway? I thought you had given it up." Lily stated a little nervously no doubt worried about where this conversation might lead to, but tried to lean back on her hands to appear as if she were having any normal interesting conversation to hide it.

"I managed it the same night you did, with Potter's help." He said his nemesis's name darkly. "Are you still unable to find the form?" adding conversationally. This made her relax some and she answered honestly,

"No I haven't tried since then." Then she added as explanation, "I don't know if I could again, as I said before, I don't know what I changed into." Severus nodded,

_So she is sticking to that story then,_ He thought.

"Well I had thought that if he managed to help you do it I could do the same while not under duress so you can learn your form and do it on your own. How did he do it?" Severus questioned sounding innocently curious, but feeling painfully suspicious. Lily's face fell and she cast about sitting up and looking at her hands in her lap. Severus tilted his head and watched her fidget, while he struggled to pull up his occlusion to get away from the foreboding feeling that was overcoming him. She finally settled on what to say and not looking up she lied and Severus could tell,

"I'm not really sure what it was that he did, just sort of c-calmed my mind and then pulled it out of me. Then next thing I knew I was standing next to him transfigured and we immediately took off running to find Remus. I remember feeling graceful as we dashed through the woods, and like I could run forever."

_So some of it is truth, but there is still something she is not saying. _He thought. He was surprisingly calm at the thought, he guessed because he was occluding.

"I imagine it was something your form was made for, running. I had a similar experience. Since you are so close to Potter, perhaps you'd be successful in asking him what it was he did so we could resume our efforts together." He put it out there in hopes that she would prove all his suspicions wrong, hoping that he had misinterpreted it all.

Lily smiled wanly, "Yes I will do that." But Severus decided he would just find out right there and then if he was right and be done with the wondering and suspicion. It was more practical than to send her off and hope that she would want to finally tell him the truth.

"A thought occurred to me, I've done some reading after my experience, would you mind if I try an incantation on you now? It's possible your subconscious knows the form." He said vaguely. He was pretty sure Lily didn't know what occlumency and its counter balance art legilimency were, and he wasn't being untruthful in its representation.

_Not to mention he asked before using it on her unlike Potter if Lily's story is to be believed. _He justified. Lily looked doubtful that he would be able to do anything and nodded her agreement. Severus pulled his wand from his robes and whispered,

"Legilimens." so that she was unable to hear him.

He was pulled into her mind and landed in a very well-kept and large garden of a small mansion, Lily's corporeal form sat on the edge of a large decorative fountain whose centerpiece depicted an image of herself in a dancing, in fairy like pose. It was breathtaking. She was gazing into the waters of the fountain, occasionally swirling her finger in it. From where he stood he realized that she was not aware of his presence, as he seemed to not have a form as if under a disillusion charm. He approached her consciousness carefully so as not to alert her of his presence.

He watched as she, drew her finger through the waters of the pond each pass changing to reflect and image, a memory that she was thinking about in that moment. He observed the one she kept lingering over fretfully before dismissing it as if trying to forget it. It was all he needed to see and it broke him.

_James telling Lily to trust him that he would help her transform. Seeing his arrogant smirk as he cast 'Legilimens' and landed in her mind next to her fountain. James made himself known to her consciousness, tapping her on the shoulder and surprising her. Lily whirled around frightened and he caught her in his arms, told her not to be afraid while wearing a triumphant grin. Then he kissed her. Severus heart broke when after a moment Lily moaned and kissed him back passionately. They broke apart looking at each other in wonder and Severus saw tenderness in Lily's eyes when she looked at James. Then James' corporeal form morphed into his stag animagus form strutting around in a wide arc away from Lily. Then it ran at Lily and jumped through her corporeal consciousness diving through the water of her pond and out of her subconscious mind. Lily was then running alongside the stag, in the dark forest, and as they leapt over a small river she saw her animagus form. She was a doe._

_He caught a few more snatches of memory. Lily ducking out of spending time with him, to spend time in her common room flirting with James. Then he saw them sitting next to each other during meals, James sneaking his finger over to caress her hand under the table, while Lily look around furtively to see if Severus is watching before shyly accepting and holding his hand secretly under the table. The last memory he saw was from the night before her and James alone in the common room very late, kissing heatedly on a sofa in a darker corner, James hands roaming inside her shirt and along her inner thigh._

Before leaving her mind Severus stepped out of his occlusion, and reached an invisible hand out to caress the side of Lily's corporeal face letting her feel his pain. But before she could turn and see him he was gone from her mind. He lowered his wand pulling his occlusion back in to place tightly. Then with an apparent disinterested shrug he said,

"I guess I was wrong. It didn't work." But from the look on Lily's face he knew that she had felt his pain as he saw her shame, and guilt there. Lily wouldn't look at him so he said,

"Are you ready to walk back inside?" Lily shook her head, and then looked up at him with tear filled eyes.

"Severus," She said unusually, not calling him by her nickname for him.

"I don't' think we are going to work out, as anything more than just friends and I don't think you think so either." Her voice trembled and she took a deep breath before she continued.

"Let's go back to just being friends please. I don't want to lead you on and hurt you anymore than I am sure I have already. I didn't mean to hurt you Sev." Lily sobbed. Severus was on his knees behind his occlusion, one hand clutching his chest as he winced with the agony he felt but refused to cry even inside his mind. Outwardly he frowned and turned away from, Lily.

"It won't change how I feel about you Lily." He said quietly he voice filled with hurt as he turned to leave the ruins of the stone circle, then remembering what he said to the old man and bracing himself with one hand on the stone pillar,

"I will always love you." he said letting the emotion fill his voice, then walked away slowly.

He got far enough away to where he felt she wouldn't see. He looked up at the grey skies of morning allowing the sky to pull him into its comforting arms, morphing into his raven form and getting lost in the peace of flight.

* * *

_ "So you've sailed away, into a grey sky morning."_

_Vertical Horizon - Grey Sky Morning_


	10. In Pursuit of Clarity (6,353)

A/N: _**This Chapter now Beta'd 5/31/13 **__**NEW CONT**__**ENT ADDED The journal now clarifies the soul bond. This is**__** to clear up some things about it that were vague that I was planning to explain later but changed my mind.**__**  
**_

Mood music: 'Werewolf' by Catpower

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money.

* * *

**Chapter 9: In Pursuit of Clarity**

Severus didn't stay out flying for very long, since he still had to go to his classes for the day. When his last class finally ended he headed straight for his dorm, collected the journal and then went hunting for a private place to sit with it. He knew he couldn't exactly confide in the journal, unless he wanted to receive a scathing reply. So instead he hid behind his occlusion, separate and disconnected, where he could think clearly.

"You were right about Lily." Severus wrote jerkily.

"Pertaining to what exactly? What has happened?" The journal queried in a spiky script.

"Lily wants to just be friends. It's Potter, I think he charmed her." Severus told the journal, he wasn't really sure why he thought that but it just seemed like he and Lily went from having mutual affection, to it being one-sided from Severus in a single night when James used Legilimency on her. As far as he could tell before that night Lily despised James. It didn't make sense, but he didn't see James as the type to think charming someone with a spell or love potion was wrong.

"Tell me what happened." It commanded.

Severus retold the story, clarifying details he hadn't thought about before when questioned by the journal. It seemed to know what was going on as it had all these questions that it already knew the answer to.

"What do you know of Occlumency and Legilimency?" It questioned once the story was finished.

"I know that both are skills that a witch or wizard must have a predisposition for. Not everyone is capable of performing either one and, performing one doesn't mean that by default you can do the other. As you pointed out last time we talked people able to occlude, even if only a little, are ever able to become animagus."

"Ok and what do you know of the effects of each one" The book guided him.

"Occlumency when performed correctly can keep out unwanted intrusion into your mind. By building a subconscious barrier that is individual to each user. It can be used to control your emotions, to block out pain, to focus."Severus answered and the book affirmed that he was correct.

"Yes, you can also use occlumency to organize, sort and separate memories from one another. Most people will automatically do this chronologically by default. But while using occlumency, you can slip inside the projection of your subconscious mind and control your environs while there. You can move your memories to a far hidden corner of your mind for example, instead of on the edge of your fore-mind where they sit naturally. A negative effect from using occlumency in these ways is becoming increasingly distant emotionally; as it quickly becomes habitual to your subconscious to react with less emotion to the things that you experience."

"How could that be a bad thing? I would give just about anything to get away from what I'm feeling right now." Severus wrote sullenly.

"It's not the end of the world that your first love has rejected you. Lily will continue to reject you. Not to mention that you were warned ahead of time that you would be rejected. Stop whinging like a hormonal teenager and focus on what we are talking about. It's important." The book chided him, the writing becoming more cramped and spiky when it got angry. Severus reread what it said to feel the cut of the words on his pride, thinking,

I'd _much rather feel chagrined than rejected by my first and onl-. Wait first? _Severus began writing quickly, curious now.

"You said first, does that mean there are other people who I fall in love with, there's someone else that replaces her, who is she?" he waited for a few minutes and the book didn't respond.

"You can't tell me yet, can you? Listen, can you just confirm it one way or another, if nothing else?"

"Yes. There is another." The journal said.

"But you won't tell me anything about her, will you." Severus pouted, biting on his quill with only a tiny shred of hope.

"I can't tell you, but I can show you. This will make it easier for you to understand." The journal responded. Beneath the words an image appeared and when Severus moved to look closer he found himself falling into the book. Panic overtook him as he worried that it was all a trick and he thought the book was going to trap him inside forever. But then suddenly he was slammed with a wall of emotion and sensory input. It was the strangest sensation and when he tried to discern it, all he could come up with was that it felt like he was blind.

He couldn't see anything, but he could feel his limbs wrapped tightly around a very soft feminine figure, her body pressed into his every curve. He could smell her faint jasmine fragrance about her. He could hear her sigh and moan, and he could taste the sweet honey of her lips, burning into his as they passionately kissed. Severus had no control over what was happening he learned, he was only observing.

_I'm in a memory; the old man has his eyes closed._ Severus thought.

He also found he was overcome by his emotions; he loved this woman whoever she was, and what he felt for Lily paled in comparison to the depth of this emotion he felt from his older self. He felt fiercely protective, and a strong admiration or pride towards her. He had never felt so whole, so loved, and so trusted; these making him feel like the most powerful person, having her complete faith and trust in him. It was as if these were beating down on his soul, like the angry summer sun on his skin, warming him and filling him.

Severus realized that some emotions were his own but others he somehow just knew where from her. He could feel with a surety exactly how much she felt for him. It was the most beautiful and precious thing he had ever experienced. It was extremely brief, mere moments of an experience from his future self, but it was enough to completely push away the pain he felt from Lily.

When he found he could open his eyes again he realized he was crying. Quickly wiping away the tears, he began writing, but not before a few of his tears had left wet droplets on the pages of the journal.

"I - you could feel her? How was it that you could feel her emotions like that?" Severus questioned first, wanting to understand if that was some spell they had cast on each other like a fidelity charm.

"It's her soul imprint on our soul. That was the moment we marked each other." The journal responded.

"What does that mean, soul imprint?" Severus asked, still in awe of what he had just experienced.

"That in essence, is what Lily has gone through with Potter. This kind of loving contact between two souls, bared as they are to each other while inside the mind, will initiate an imprinting. It will cause them to be able to feel echoes of the others emotions even while outside their minds when they touch. It's an old magic that was once used to increase fidelity and to help grow affection between couples of an arranged marriage. Though I'm not completely sure if Lily and Potter were always that way, I had never made the assumption that they were imprinted before hearing about what you saw. I could be that it is something new, because of your different actions towards Lily this timeline. It is highly likely that it is the same as before, and I just never knew it in my time. I can recognize it now because I have experienced it. Lily in my past started hanging out with the Marauders when she learned about Remus by following the clues I gave her in 6th year. Shortly after that time, we had a conversation were she said she had found her animagus form, and it was all thanks to James, who had taught her how when she had failed to do it on her own."

"Just like here." Severus finished for him, understanding what he was getting at.

_Maybe he is right and I can't change Lily's fate, or rather I can't change that Lily will never love me._ He pondered, before continuing.

"So you're saying they are soul mates then?" He asked the book.

"Of a sense, they are nearly so, yes. Because they both willingly surrendered their souls to the magic of an imprinting. Giving equally of a part of your soul to the other. However the bond has to be strengthened multiple times via intimate interactions in the mind, culminating in a coital union of the minds before it is a complete soul mark, not just an imprint." The book explained.

"And - Her, your woman? We are fully imprinted to the woman in your memory then." Severus stated, not really needing to ask. The book had no response, and Severus sat in quiet contemplation. He now understood why the book had gotten angry with him when he said he had asked Lily out; he himself felt a surge of terror at the idea that he had almost ruined something so precious out of his ignorance.

"Why won't you just tell me everything? What happened if I screw something up so badly that we never meet her? You're willing to just let me blunder through it all with your eyes closed and finger crossed? I haven't even met her and I'm already terrified to lose her, you have to agree with me! Tell me everything!" Severus started getting frantic as he wrote not pausing for the journal to respond has he started to understand why his older self would be so desperate for him to change the future.

"Oh God, you've already lost her! That why you sent the memories back isn't it!" Severus pushed the journal away and ran his hand through his hair looking around panicked. He was so lost in thought that he didn't pay attention to the words appearing on the page, he finally looked up with the pages started flapping about as if blown by a forceful wind, as it tried to get his attention.

When he finally took hold of it the journal, it settled and he read the words written there.

"The time lock charm prevents me from telling you. You don't need to worry about Her - that - now, you need to focus on playing your part and helping those that need your help. Here. Now. You need to do what I should have done, so that you can endeavor to deserve that precious gift when it comes to you. Perhaps then you will get to keep her." The journal responded slowly.

Severus calmed himself. The old man was right, he had time, and the book and memories could tell him when something important needed to happen. He couldn't have all the answers. It didn't work that way he had to learn to live his life himself, the memories were to help him avoid what his alternate felt were grave mistakes he'd made in his time.

With a renewed conviction Severus sat up straight, grabbing his quill forcefully, then wrote.

"What do I have to do to become a Death Eater?"

* * *

The next morning Severus waited near the entrance to the dormitories in the common room for Regulus. The old man said that he and Regulus would do well to stick together as they attempted to join the ranks for the death eaters. Regulus had already told him that his parents were staunch supporters of the Dark Lord so it was likely though the pressure of his parents he would be joining very shortly after graduation, if not before. He was told to stay friendly with Avery, Mulciber, and Rosier, as they would be able to help vouch for him when the time came to join. However he was warned about Crouch Jr., Bellatrix, and Wilkes, they would all question his loyalty because of his relationship with Lily.

Severus wondered how Lily would act around him, but he quickly shoved the thought from his mind when he saw that Regulus had finally come down.

"Hey, the prodigal prince returns to the fold." Regulus said smirking at him. He was the only person who knew of his parentage, and liked to frequently make remarks alluding to him being royalty. It was actually because of Regulus' frequent teasing thus that the other Slytherins left Severus alone about his bloodline. They just automatically believed he was from some foreign pure blood family that had some distant ties to a royal family.

Severus gave Regulus a dangerous glare, "It's time I moved on from childhood flights of fancy. I need to be considering my future." His voice sounding cold and harsh. Regulus looked a little taken aback by this, but he was very astute and had known how much Severus had cared for Lily. Regulus gave him an appraising look, before he moved on after Severus through the common room toward the entrance, making his way toward the Great Hall and breakfast.

"Well, have you been keeping yourself informed? Do you know what it is they are saying out there, about Tom Riddle, self-titled Lord Voldemort?" Regulus said with a conspiratorial eye, looking around for eavesdroppers as they stepped out of from the corridor hidden by a false stone wall that was the entrance to their common room.

"I don't care what people are saying, I only care whether I can use him to advance my career." Severus said as planned, he would eventually be able to tell Regulus his true intentions but not until Regulus could be trusted.

The old man said that he believed that Regulus was never a true supporter and that he ends up getting killed by Lord Voldemort for some betrayal that it was kept quiet and played of as an unknown disappearance. Voldemort hid what he would normally make an example out of so that he would not lose the financial backing of the Black family, who were his second major source of funding after the Malfoys. They came upon a dark alcove and Severus quickly pulled Regulus inside, casting a Muffliato, to ensure their privacy.

"Listen you've got to be more careful about where, when, and to whom you say things to about your reluctance or doubts about Voldemort. I need to get in, you don't have to as well, but I can't afford to have people doubting my loyalties." Severus explained to him, hoping Regulus would understand without him having to spell it out.

"What are you up to Snape? You're very strange, I thought for sure you'd be signing up to join that rumored Order, if you hadn't already with Lily hanging on your arm. The only thing that made me doubt it was I know how 'highly' you think of the dear old headmaster." Regulus said sarcastically to Severus.

"Never mind what my actions were." Severus said sharply, earning him a knowing eye-browed smirk,

"Oh Fine! I might as well admit I was lovesick whelp and move beyond it." He waved it off dismissively.

"But I intend to be in the right position when the coming battle for supremacy starts. Please, stick by me in this one, when I can tell you more I will. We are both in something that is way over what you an I could imagine." Severus peaked out into the corridor to see if it was empty so they could leave.

"Hold on, what do you know?" Regulus asked sounding interested, he pulled Severus back into the alcove.

"Nothing that I can share at this moment, Regulus. But I must get into Voldemort's ranks by the end of my 7th year. Now let's go, I didn't eat dinner last night I'm starving."

Severus cancelled the Muffliato and stepped into the corridor at a hurried pace then cleared his throat when he was further away so that Regulus would know it was safe for him to step out as well. When Regulus caught up with him on the stairs leading out of the dungeon it was with a serious expression of deep thought.

A very haggard and tired looking Remus stood outside the Great Hall staring at the portraits on display in the antechamber there, very obviously waiting for someone. When Remus saw the two approaching the he glanced at Regulus significantly before looking at Severus questioningly. Severus inclined his head to indicate to Remus that he could speak to him in front of Regulus.

"Severus, I - Lily told me. I'm sorry." Remus said first haltingly. "It's my fault that Lily ever spent any time with them, before my accident she didn't give James the time of day. I never thought she'd throw you over for him all in the same day."

Apparently it was a good thing that Severus didn't go to dinner the night before as James had waltzed into the great hall with Lily draped on his arm and it was very quickly understood by all present that He and Lily were an item. That stung a little, but he shut it outside his occlusion and moved on. Flipping his hair over his shoulder Severus resumed their way towards the Slytherin table.

"Never mind Remus, I don't blame you for her character flaws or Potter's. I needed to be moving on anyway." So far he'd managed to come off cold and indifferent about it. He only hoped he could manage to be consistent and no react when he saw the two for himself. Regulus seemed a bit surprised that Severus and Remus where being friendly, but then he also knew that Remus recently had a very public falling out with his old fellows, so he just observed shrewdly in silence.

"I wanted to catch you and well, warn you beforehand. You know James will be 10 times worse than normal now." Remus said worriedly.

"Let him try something then. I welcome it." Severus growled. "I don't have to play nice for Lily anymore." He spun on his two friends as they reached the table, "Besides I've got you guys to back me up now haven't I?" Severus smirked at them both.

He'd never openly declared friendship with anyone before. After a long discussion with the old man they agreed that Remus and Regulus would be great allies, and in time he planned to tell him everything he knew, if they could prove trustworthy.

"Remus, will you join us for breakfast?" Severus asked encountering the shocked looked of both. He smirked and sat waiting for them to join him.

They received a few odd glances for having invited a Gryffindor to the table, but it had the desired effect on James and Sirius and that's what mattered. The former strutting in to the Great Hall with his prize on his arm, looking for Snape, so that he could see his despair when he saw them together. James did a double take, seeing Severus smirking across the table at Remus with Regulus by his side. The wind left his sails and James fumed throwing a menacing glare at the back of Remus head before stomping to the Gryffindor table with Lily following him, oblivious and looking confused at his complete flip in mood.

Sirius however stood rooted just inside the door his face livid with rage at seeing, not only his younger brother, but his previous best friend sitting and laughing with his enemy. After a moment or two of pretending not to see Sirius or his reaction, Severus met his angry glare earning the attention of the other two. Regulus muttered, "Arrogant git!" under his breath before huffing and returning to his meal sullenly. Severus watched Remus attentively to see how he would react to Sirius, wanting to know how dedicated he was to turning his back on his former friends. Remus spared a single glance at Sirius only just acknowledging him before turning back to Severus and resuming their conversation dismissively.

"So what do you think, Severus? Can we study over the holidays here at the castle together? I have to stay anyway." Remus said with the excitement showing in his voice slightly.

"I had planned on it." Severus stopped for a moment now that Sirius had stomped off and it was safe for him to cast a Muffliato, earning him a quizzical look from Remus. "I managed to get permission from Professor Slughorn to use the schools supplies and the small classroom next to our regular potions class." Regulus chuckled darkly,

"I don't want to know what that cost you in that disgusting pineapple stuff he likes to inhale."

Severus glowered, "I'm not wasting my hard earned money on that fat sycophant. No, I rather appealed to his impressive work ethic." His voice thick with sarcasm, then with a sigh he continued, "I'll be marking papers for the first and third years for the rest of the year, and I'll have to resupply all the ingredients I use by gathering them from the Dark Forest."

Remus looked a tad bit impressed, waving his fork at them as he spoke. "Sounds not unlike an apprenticeship, is there any way you can make that official? If you are doing all the work anyway might as well get all the rewards." He said, and then he speared a potato, sniffed it disgustedly then put it back on his plate, reaching for more bangers.

"No, I won't attach my career to him, thank you!" Severus said tersely, "Not if I plan to get any credit for my work." Regulus looked piqued and looked back and forth between the two at rapt attention as they spoke before interjecting.

"What's this, you two have something in the works then? What is it?" Severus gave him a blank look, meeting Remus gaze for a moment, but remaining silent. Severus couldn't say anything as he was under oath, but Remus could tell whoever he wished. Severus thought it might be too soon for Remus to be willing to trust Regulus with that kind of information, so he was a little surprised when Remus piped up.

"Severus, no one can hear us because of that charm you cast right?" When Severus nodded the affirmative Remus leaned forward in the table, looking down into his hands so no one could read his lips, he said with a low voice, "Severus is looking for a cure or treatment for Lycanthropy, I'm letting him test it on me."

Regulus' eye went wide for a moment as understanding hit him, then he frowned as he was apparently realizing how it all made sense, with Remus being 'ill' all the time. He nodded in thought,

"Well how's it going so far? I mean, have you found anything promising?" He asked Severus.

Severus responded with a shrug while he chewed, flipping his hair out of his face once he swallowed. "I've only just begun to work on it. I have a few bases that seem like they would be successful, but I need to work with the proper order of some of the rest of the ingredients, as they are highly unstable when mixed. I want to get that figured out in time to have a possible trial for the week term resumes."

And so the three new friends made plans to stay at the castle for the holidays that were only a week away. Severus was surprised at how quickly they just accepted his friendship. He'd never made any friends other than Lily, but the old man assured him he need only show that he could be friendly and most people would respond in kind.

* * *

The holidays proved to be very productive. Remus and Regulus didn't interfere with his working, instead the two of them posted up at a desk in the corner with a game of Exploding Snap or Chess most days. On one occasion, having them there proved very fortunate. Severus made an error in his calculations and only barely managed to get a shield around his workstation before it exploded. The shield protected the two boys from the blast but threw Severus into the wall behind him knocking him unconscious with a very bad concussion. Remus and Regulus reacted instantly, Remus ran to fetch Madame Pomfrey, while Regulus worked quickly to make sure that there was no potentially harmful bits of potion or cauldron lying about that might react further. After a night spent in the infirmary and a stern lecture from the middle-aged nurse, Severus was dismissed.

Nearing the end of the holiday Severus started to despair than his potion was going to fail. He could not seem to get the ingredients to mesh. Every time it came to add the aconite it reacted badly and the whole potion ruined. He had already had to re-brew the batches of the base that he had settled on. On the last night of holiday, with only 3 day's time till the next full moon, he cried out in triumph startling the other two boys who had taken to reading on some sofa's they had transfigured from desks.

"What? Did it work this time?" Remus asked excitedly.

"Not in the clear yet, but close." Severus said tersely, as he stirred the potion in complicated rune patterns trying to keep count. He was trying the runes on a whim, hoping that the magic in each rune will help to stabilize the reaction to the main ingredient. He counted out and named each rune in his head, sweat beading on his brow from hovering over the flame for so long.

At last the potion settled from a boiling hiccupping, to a more gently undulating swirl, turning an opaque silver color that steamed. From his calculations he could put the potion under stasis for up to a week before it would lose efficacy. Severus had been disappointed to learn over the holiday, through vigorous arithmetic calculations, that a cure of lycanthropy wouldn't be possible through a potion. The ingredients needed to enact such a powerful change were at such a high concentration that the person would die of poisoning moments after drinking it. So instead he had moved on to subduing the effects of lycanthropy, and the most promising way was to literally poison the werewolf while simultaneously keeping the poison from killing him.

The formula in its current iteration if it didn't work perfectly; the worst case scenario was that Remus would suffer a lot of pain, but he wouldn't die from it no matter what because of the healing agents that were also present. Severus didn't want to cause him any extra pain on top of still going through the transformation; he just wanted Remus unable to hurt anyone or at least have control of his mind to stop him from hurting anyone.

Severus waited for the potion to cool slightly to a drinkable temperature, and then carefully measured a gil into a glass tumbler. Remus and Regulus had both abandoned their perspective books to come and watch Severus at his workstation, knowing the moment they'd been waiting for had arrived. Remus looked on with a wary anticipation and Regulus at rapt attention with a notebook and quill.

Severus transfigured his high stool into a muggle hospital bed on one side of the work area, and gestured for Remus to have a seat. Then he brought around a wire rack that contained the various antidotes to poison that could cause a severe reaction in Remus, setting it on a desk to one side of the bed. Severus then pulled out a book of medical incantations, he ran his finger done the page of the one he was studying as he read, familiarizing himself with it again before they started.

"Ready?" Remus asked expectantly. Severus turned to face him shutting the book and setting it aside. He was extremely nervous but he held his occlusion tight and outwardly appeared clinically detached.

"Whenever you ready, please drink the potion in as few gulps as possible. Sipping it could cause involuntary heaving if you allow yourself time to taste it." At this response Remus paled but took hold of the glass tumbler determinedly.

"Don't forget to please state out loud all anything that you feel, for documentation." Regulus added from where he sat taking notes. With a tight nod of acknowledgement Remus stared into the steaming glass, looking up at Severus and tanking a deep breath. Then he tossed back the entire glass, gulping once loudly, before gagging at the taste and shuddering.

"Oh gods!" Remus coughed, quickly covering his mouth to keep from spewing the potion back up from the reflexive heaving the taste educed. He shook his head and gained some control, grabbing at a glass of water that Severus handed to him to rinse his mouth.

"Don't' swallow, just swish." Severus instructed then handed him an empty cauldron to spit the water into.

"How do you feel Remus" Regulus asked. And the effects began to show themselves nearly moments later. Remus started sweating profusely, then hunched over and held his stomach in pain.

"Hot… especially my abdomen. It's on fire. - ugh! Can feel the heat spreading though my body! Gods!" Remus explained, and then he lay back against the bed and curled up into a fetal position onto his side. The next moment Remus began scrabbling to get his shirt of his back and cried out in pain. Severus quickly moved to help him with the shirt, and saw the angry red scars on his back, likely the source of his infection, they began to bubble and burn and Remus screamed out in pain writhing and thrashing. It seemed the potion was attacking the wounds, and the old infected flesh seemed almost to be boiling off of his skin.

Severus hadn't calculated the effect of the potion on actual cursed flesh. He'd never considered that it might have a stronger reaction to the main ingredient. Realizing his error he tried to think of the fastest way to counteract the poison, as he saw chunks flesh fall from the cursed scar. He'd not thought to have an antidote ready for the Aconite as that was the one poison he wanted Remus to feel the effects of. Thinking quickly Severus ran for the store-room and grabbed bezoar.

"Regulus! Hold him down." Severus commanded and Regulus jumped into action from where he'd stood at a distance frozen, with quill in hand. Severus grabbed a wooden spoon to shove into Remus mouth to pry it open, while Regulus struggled to hold the thrashing werewolf. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get Remus mouth open.

"Remus open up. Come on. I've got to get this bezoar down your throat to counteract your reaction." Severus strained against the spoon trying to pull his mouth open, his desperation coming through in his voice. He struggled to no avail until all at one Remus went completely slack, the seizure stopping and he collapsed unresisting. Severus moved to put the bezoar in his mouth but Regulus stopped his hand.

"Wait! Look!" he said and he tilted Remus further to his side so Severus could see his back. The cursed flesh had all burned away from the scars there leaving very faint shimmery scars in their place. Severus quickly cast the diagnostic spell and saw, once he cross referenced the rune symbols that appeared hovering above him, that Remus' vital signs were all within normal healthy ranges, but it also showed he had exhaustion and dehydration.

"He's going to be fine" Severus said with relief, and near amazement. "Help me get him cleaned up." Severus asked Regulus who moved to banish the chunks for cursed flesh that had fallen onto the bed.

"Wait, save that for testing later. I wasn't expecting that reaction but I have a hunch on why it happened." Severus instructed him. Regulus complied grabbing a pair of tongs and collecting the few chunks that had not dissolved into ashes and placing them in a sterile collection jar.

"Sourgify." Severus incanted, relieving Remus from the slickened sweat that covered him head to toe. In a few moments time they had Remus laying back on the hospital gurney, and Severus felt it was safe to wake him to question him on how he felt.

"Ennervate."He wispered. Remus slowly opened his eyes his hand going to his head to hold it as he tried to sit up.

"How do you feel Remus" Regulus asked holding the quill and notebook again, looking concerned.

"Like I have had the worst stomach flu and haven't had food in my stomach in ages. I feel ravenous!" Severus smirked at this and looked to Regulus who smiled back at him. The potion seemed to be a success. They only had to dose him for the next two days then wait for the full moon, which would be the night he took the last dose, to be sure of it effectiveness.

"Well lets go get you one of those rare steaks you are always wishing for from the kitchens, eh?" Regulus said to Remus.

The three friends ran off to the kitchens hidden behind the portrait of a pear, where they were piled with food from the eager house elves.

School began the next day, and the second dosing of the Wolfsbane, didn't cause the same reaction, Remus downing it with a gag and a shudder. The first dose seemingly having burned off the cursed tissue, the only continuing presence of the curse in Remus now, was embedded into his genetic makeup. Severus calculated that the potion would either; completely repress a transformation causing Remus to spend the night ill, with sweats and possible muscle tremors, or it would not suppress the transformation, still make him feel slightly ill, but he would be in complete control of his mental awareness.

For the third and final dose Severus and Regulus met Remus in a rarely used 7th floor corridor. Severus handed the foggy silver potion to Remus and patted him on the shoulder. "Good luck Remus. We'll be in the lab with the enchanted mirror on our end, don't forget to include it in your iteration of the room." Severus reminded him. Regulus and Remus had been working on a way for them to observe the effect of the potion safely on the night of transformation, they had come up with and accurately tested their solution only a week prior.

Once they had managed to successfully enchant one mirror, Remus began attempting to get the Room of Requirement to make a sister mirror that would allow them to see and hear each other back and forth from their lab room and the Room of Requirement.

Remus nodded his understanding before grabbing on to Severus shoulder.

"No matter what happens, thank you for trying. If it all goes wrong and I die, know that I would never blame you." He said seriously. Severus nodded his understanding then to cover his emotions he said "So little faith Remus?" He smirked wryly at him. Regulus stepped forward and clapped a hand on Remus' other shoulder.

"You'll be fine. We'll still be watching, if anything goes wrong we'll know right away and we'll send help." He assured Remus. With that Remus turned and began pacing back and forth, while Severus and Regulus moved away from him so that door would appear. They headed back to their lab, and when they got there Remus was waiting. He sat magically strapped to a hospital gurney facing his end of the enchanted mirror. Having already taken the last dose, all they had left to do was wait for the full moon to rise at 7:35 pm.

When the minute struck Remus cried out in pain struggling against his bonds, speaking in strained gasps and shouts of what he was going through so that Severus and Regulus could document.

"Transforming." Remus shouted. "It's the same, only I can feel t-the heat. Aaahhhg" He shouted in agony and his features began to morph making his voice unintelligible to them.

After a few minutes Remus was fully transformed into a shaggy brown werewolf with golden brown eyes. He whined and moaned, then panted his tongue lolling out of his mouth trailing a huge drop of drool.

"Remus, can you understand me?" Severus asked, holding his breath for the answer. Remus eyes went from a glazed over look to focus peering into the glass then the wolf nodded then in a deep gravelly voice replied.

"I can, and I have my mind." Remus devolved into a fit of barking laughter. "You did it!"

Severus shouted with joy at the sound of Remus exclamation, pumping his fist in the air, and Regulus pat him hard on the back.

"Well done Severus, you've done it."


	11. The Effects of Friendship (8,078)

A/N: _**This chapter now Beta'd**__** 5/31/13 **_**NEW CONTENT ADDED Severus explains the Animagus transformation, Occlumency, & Legilimency to Lily. **

Thank you all for being patient while I wrangled this monstrosity. Seriously its long. I know that many of you (like me) want to get back to the Hermione part of the story, and I am trying to get us there trust me. I don't, however, want to rush through what I feel is very necessary character and plot development just to get to the juicy goodness we all crave. No dessert before you've finished your dinner, dears! clean your plate! and all that jazz.

I'm hoping I am able to keep this aspect of the story just as entertaining and riveting as the Lemons and fluff to come later. I think it's safe to warn you now, since with the posting of this chapter this story is over 50k words, this will be a very long story to tell! I really hope you all don't get tired of my storytelling on the journey there.

Mood music: I listened to a lot of different things for each different tone in this chapter, but the one's that stuck with me the most was 'Extraterrestrial' by Katy Perry (just cause I find my Raven, Reaper, and Grim so very sexy *.*,) and 'It's too late to apologize' by Timbaland feat. One Republic (it goes really great with the "Snape's worst memory" scene near the end)

**Content Warning:** mild swearing, fellatio implied ^.^, Slash parings mentioned (and dedicated to FlyingBerry, thanks for the lovely chat!)... I think that's all.

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money!

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Effects of Friendship**

Over the next few months Severus, Regulus, and Remus grew closer together as friends. They spent many hours together studying and theorizing. Remus had a very strong understanding of spell theory, and he and Severus spent many hours discussing possible news spells and testing them. Regulus was able to keep up with their conversations but was more interested in defense against spells and how to counter them, rather than thinking up new ones. He would think up elaborate rune charts and diagrams for very complex wards, Severus had no doubt he would turn out to be an amazing curse breaker.

They boys would spar with one another usually sneaking into the Room of Requirement so that they could avoid drawing any attention from the marauders. On more than one occasion they would see Peter trying to follow them to discover what they were up to, Severus would usually take a moment to corner him and scare him off before they continued on, never giving it much thought once he'd run him off.

Lily didn't pluck up the courage to confront Severus and speak to him until sometime in late February. She found Severus alone in a courtyard during Muggle studies, their shared free period. He was off in a grassy, slightly sunny corner with his potions text inches from his face as he carefully wrote tiny script in the margins.

"Hey." Lily called out to him quietly from a few feet away, her eyes downcast and her posture stiff and uncomfortable. Severus hadn't noticed her approach so he looked up in surprise, unable to completely mask the faint gasp he let out seeing her standing in front of him with her fiery hair haloed and glowing from the sun. He put his book in his lap and looked at her, expressionless for a moment while he deliberated how to react to her. His instinct said to lash out at her and make her hurt for going around with James behind his back before breaking it off with him. But he knew if he did that she wouldn't try to talk to him again and he felt it was important to stay close to her to be able to keep her safe, even if she didn't or couldn't love him in return.

"Lily." Was all he said in acknowledgement, then gave her a smile that looked more like a confused grimace.

" Sev , I - Can we talk?" Rushing on before he could answer. "I really just need to talk to you. I still want to be your friend, but I understand if you hate me for dating James." Severus didn't interrupt her so she continued explaining looking down and toeing the grass abashedly. "But that's one of the things I'd like to talk to you about. Please?" Lily asked sincerely giving him a doe-eyed expression.

Severus continued in silence and indicated for her to join him on the grass. Lily sat down, and for a few minutes and they sat in an uncomfortable silence until Severus decided it was time for him to say something.

"Lily, I don't hate you." He said picking at the grass angrily in front of him and not meeting her gaze. He hoped it would be enough for her to say whatever she wanted to say because he was starting to feel apprehensive as the hurt of her betrayal and rejection started throbbing in his chest once more.

"Thank you, I know I don't deserve it." Lily said slowly, and then she grabbed Severus hand to get his attention. Severus turned to look at her and watched as he fiddled with his hand and fingers while she thought; it was something she had frequently done for the few months they dated, and it made his chest twinge. She finally began,

"I've had a lot of time to think about how everything happened. It all seems so weird, and I just don't know who to talk to about it. I was hoping that could talk to you and see if you can help me understand what's happening. Maybe tell me I'm being stupid and make me feel all better." She said with a laugh and Severus gave a little chuckle.

"What's on your mind?" Severus asked neutrally. He was strengthening his occlusion, knowing this discussion was going to try his emotions and not wanting to lose his cool.

"Well it's all kind of convoluted but, first of all, I still can't change into my animagus, at least not without help from James." She paused thoughtfully tilting her head to one side. "So anyway, I did some research into the theory on animagus and spoken to Prof. McGonagall. I found out it has some fundamental connections to occlumency. You know, mind locking yourself from another person entering your mind?" She waited to see if Severus was following, he nodded and she continued. "Well I have never been able to focus enough to clear my mind which is essential for me being able to transform, and what I don't understand is how James could induce it for me. I mean he pointed his wand at me and then I transformed." Lily explained perplexed.

Severus was beginning to understand where she was going, it was obvious to him that she had written off the kiss she'd shared with James via Legilimency as a mere daydream or fantasy. She didn't know it for what it was. It made him question if the old man had it wrong about Lily and James sharing an imprint. With what he had felt from the memory of 'Her', there was no way Lily could write an experience like that off as a dream, _is there_? He sat in thought trying to decide how to question her further to help her come to a realization of what had happened.

"Lily, how long have you liked James? Honestly, I won't be angry." He said holding up his hands in surrender to her at her rising indignation. "I think it might have something to do with all of it."

Lily frowned deep in thought, before answering slowly with a creeping blush. "I've always thought that he was handsome, but I never liked him as a person. James is an arrogant toerag most of the time, and it always bothered me his treatment of you." She paused as if searching for the right words to explain the unexplainable. "But he's not a bad guy, he's behaves like a gentleman toward me." Lily looked up at Severus to make eye contact to prove her sincerity, and then her eyes lost focus as she proceeded deep into her memory of the incident. "Then when he helped me transform, I felt really attached and attracted to him all the sudden, almost like I could feel how much he liked me and admired me. It is really odd. I can still feel it faintly but only when - when we touch." Lily admitted bashfully. Severus shuddered disgustedly, trying to stamp down the rage and jealously that was rising, his occlusion holding fast.

"Maybe for your sake, you should take a step away from James and see if the feeling persists? I don't know what you might think it is, but it might be some sort of charm, to induce your infatuation in him. You allowed him to turn his wand on you and have no idea what he cast on you, and since then have felt, differently. Do you remember the incantation James used?" Severus asked, and Lily thought for a moment then shook her head. Severus continued with his explanation of Occlumency to give her more clues about what had really happened. He didn't want to give away that he had used Legilimency on her as well, and learned of her misdeed with Potter behind his back.

"What I know of Occlumency is that inside your mind is a sort of sanctuary, projected from places you are fond of or have imagined. Your consciousness resides here in a corporeal form of yourself. To achieve your animagus form, you have to be able to pull yourself back inside of that sanctuary and consciously manipulate it with your willpower to discover or chose your form and force your consciousness to take on the form. Then you force the form out of your subconscious into your physical form, causing the transformation." Severus explained, eying her to see if she would make the leap and guess about Legilimency or if he'd have to spell that out. Lily seemed to be considering it all but there was no expression of dawning awareness. So he took the explanation a little further.

"Occlumency comes in varying strengths, what I described being the most basic of it's capabilities. As you said, it's to lock your mind from intrusion through the use of Legilimency, where the caster can enter your mind and corporeally interact with your subconscious learning your thoughts and memories, as well as interacting with your corporeal form." He finished quietly. Looking out over the courtyard while she thought about all that it implied. When he looked back at her again she was very obviously in turmoil, seeming to have gain some understanding at least of what James had done, so Severus continued.

"I understand if you don't want to be in a relationship with me, if you feel that it is - dishonest - for you to do so while you have feelings for someone else, or if you simply don't return my affections that way. I don't hold it against you Lily. But I do still care for you a great deal. As your friend, and ONLY your friend, just be careful with James." He emphasized then after a few moments silence he continued playfully, "And next time, doesn't wait two months to talk to me." Severus gave her a rare genuine smile and brushed a strand of her fiery hair off her cheek. Lily smiled at him sadly with regret in her eyes as she looked at him, then she grabbed her bag and strung it over her shoulder.

"Time for our next class, will you sit with me today?" She said standing up and brushing the back of her robes. Severus eyed her warily, "Won't Potter be upset by that?"

"I don't care if he is; he can sit on the other side of me. You're my friend Sev, and you have been for a long time. I don't want to lose that because of James." She said determinedly. "Do you think you can get along enough for one class and see how it goes from there?" She asked hopefully looking down at him and offering a hand to help him up.

"I'm not the one you have to worry about." Severus growled in reply before accepting her hand.

* * *

They did actually manage to get through that day and most of the rest of the year with little to no standoffs between Severus and James. Sirius instigated a few fights to which Remus would usually respond, sending Sirius away very hurt by the continued animosity and rejection. Severus was surprised to learn from Remus that he and Sirius had actually started a romantic relationship over the summer. It didn't last long because Sirius didn't like to stay in one place for very long and had his eye on many other boys at once, especially the muggle ones near Godricks Hollow where he now lived with the Potters. It seems Sirius always expected to have Remus as a fall back, and until Remus broke off their friendship he'd been that for Sirius.

Remus, shortly after the success with the Wolfsbane, became more self-assured and outgoing instead of hanging in the back behind his friends and observing silently. He was seen with many different girls, and for week or two seemed to have an eye on Regulus. Regulus noticed his attention quickly and assured Remus that he wasn't that much like his brother. Much to Severus and Regulus' relief Remus moved his attentions elsewhere and their friendship was not damaged or made awkward by it.

Regulus being a year younger missed most of their interactions with the marauders, so he would meet them during meals and after classes. Occasionally they would be joined by Lily at the Slytherin table, as she and Severus traded information she'd learned about her project on her attachment to James, usually under Muffliato.

Regulus and Remus both saw what was happening between Severus and Lily and worried what the result would be. From their perspective Lily wasn't as invested in the relationship as Severus was. Though he didn't ever appear to be overly enthusiastic towards her, he remained very mellow and neutral toward her when she was around. But they saw the look his eyes got whenever she left to rejoin her boyfriend.

Lily did take Severus advice and took a step backward in her intimacy with James, forcing him to act much the same way she and Severus did, a perfect example of a couple. She was very serious about her role as prefect and maintaining the rules for everyone, not allowing herself any excuse just because she was an enforcer of the rules, but she had been lax for the first few months she'd been with James. She found after a few months that the emotional connection she'd experienced was almost completely faded, if not gone.

This distance seemed to really bother James, and nearing examinations he was seen by Remus and Regulus in a known but hidden corner with Bellatrix, who was known to parade her 'talents' for all pure blood boys of any house.

Regulus was entirely willing to forget he saw anything, but Remus would not. He was still friends with Lily and he didn't want to see her used by the likes of James Potter. Remus managed to find Lily and brought her to the place where he'd seen James meeting with Bellatrix.

As they drew near, Remus stopped and turned to Lily.

"Do you trust me Lily?" when she nodded he continued, "Can you believe me when I say I think of you as my little sister?" Remus asked, causing Lily to look concerned.

"I trust you Remus, but why?" Lily asked. Remus didn't answer he just disillusioned them both and then stepped to a shadowy recess against the wall opposite the alcove to wait, pulling her next to him.

Lily remained silent sensing he wanted to show her something with a feeling of foreboding coming over her. Then saw James round the corner with Bellatrix in tow. Lily watched as James pushed Bellatrix into the alcove and saw his hands roaming her body. She heard the faint giggles and whispers.

When a discernible moan reached her ears from James, she'd had enough.

Lily canceled the disillusion, fury written plainly on her face. She stormed passed the alcove where James was holding the frizzy haired witch's head, in a place which left no doubt of what she was doing for him. Lily aimed her wand around James at Bellatrix as she passed, an in a chocking sob cried,

"Densuageo!" Then she ran at a breakneck speed to get away before she burst into tears.

James gave a yelp in pain, hissing at Bellatrix, "Ouch! Watch it you crazy witch!" at the same time Bellatrix lisped "Ahhhg my teef!"

James backed away from Bellatrix quickly straightening his robes, peering down the corridor he caught a moment's glimpse of Lily's fiery hair whipping around the corner.

"Oh bloody hell!" James said as he righted his trouser placket, and then he moved to follow Lily. When he arrived at the corner he was blocked bodily by Remus who'd started after Lily when she ran, but turned back when he reached to the corner to waylay James, cancelling his disillusionment.

"You back off James!" he growled at him ferociously, "Leave her alone. You owe her that much at least." Then Remus pushed him backwards toward where Bellatrix was crying in terror over her teeth that had by that point grown so they reached her rather low-cut neckline.

"It's not what it looks like." James demanded, "Let me pass, I need to talk to her!" Remus gave him a disgusted look, appraising the filth that stood before him. "I thought you cared for her. SHE thought you cared for her! You stay away from her until she wants to see you." Remus moved into his face threateningly, poking James in the chest viciously before turning around to follow and catch up with Lily.

When Remus finally did find her he'd given up looking all the places he thought she'd be and went to recruit Severus and Regulus. Only to round the corner of the corridor that their lab was located in and see Severus leaning against the wall, holding a crying Lily, with a look of anger and utter confusion. Anger at seeing Lily so upset, and confused as to why she was so upset. He met Remus eyes and saw the malevolent expression there.

"Come on; bring her in here to sit down so she can calm down. Don't want to draw any extra attention down here." Regulus whispered from their lab door, holding it open for Severus to guide Lily inside with an arm around her waist.

Regulus quickly transfigured a desk into a small sofa and Severus sat down and pulled Lily to the cushion next to him, tucking her under his arm and letting her cry into his shirt. Looking up at Remus with a questioning expression,

"What's happened Remus?" Remus growled and began pacing the room.

"I'm not sure if Lily wants me to say anything of it; I'll let her do the telling once she's decided what she'll do about it. She not hurt, but she's had a cruel disappointment."

Perplexed Severus looked at Regulus who shrugged; they all looked at one another not knowing what to do for a few minute but to let her cry. Severus continued to hold Lily and stroke her back. Not asking her to tell him what had happened but waiting for her to speak on her own.

Regulus looking increasingly uncomfortable with the crying witch, spoke up grabbing his school bag and moving for the door.

"Dinner's started fifteen minutes ago, Remus what do you say to coming with me to fetch a meal from the kitchens and we'll bring it back here for everyone. Give Lily time to calm down and talk to Severus privately." Turning to Lily with a gentle tone, "What do you say, Lily? Not ready to face all and sundry yet are you?" He asked her rubbing her shoulder gently. Lily shook her head and tried to wipe her eyes and give him a grateful smile.

"Here love, dry your eyes. We'll see if we can talk those elves out of a huge bucket of chocolate ice cream just for you." Regulus crooned, conjuring a hanky for her. Severus nodded his head in thanks at him and watched as Remus stormed out with Regulus in tow.

Once they were alone, Severus wrapped both arms tightly around Lily and kissed the top of her head. "What can I do to make you feel better? Tell me why you are so upset?" Severus murmured into her hair.

Lily began to feel guilty for her behavior toward Severus and finally calmed down wiping her eyes and nose on the handkerchief given to her by Regulus, before sitting up and taking a shuddering breath.

"Remus is right. I'm just disappointed. I'll be ok, but I don't think it's something I should discuss right now." Lily sniffed again, "Not before I sort some things out." Severus gave her a searching look, heavy with his concern, and then wiped his thumb across her cheek.

"As long as you are OK." He said his voice thickly silken. Lily stood up from the sofa they were on determinedly and looked around the room.

"What is this room anyway?" She asked with a forced steady voice. Severus stretched on the couch lounging comfortably. "It's a lab of sorts; I use it to work on my projects. Remus, Regulus and I have found it to be quite a sanctuary. Prof. Slughorn allows me to use it in exchange for marking some papers and gathering ingredients for him out in the Dark Forest." Severus explained, watching her look around the room with interest.

"So how much success have you had with your lycanthropy cure?" She asked, and Severus was not tricked by her nonchalant change of subject away from why she was crying but let it slide, believing that if she needed to talk about what upset her she would.

"It was a complete and utter failure, so I looked in a different direction." Severus said evasively. He was not going to let out his biggest success before he could assure he would gain credits for it. He had Regulus and Remus both oath-bound, but seeing how Lily even while oath-bound couldn't defend her mind from his worst enemy, he'd decided it would be best to keep mum about it with her. Lily's face fell from the anticipation etched there,

"Oh, poor Remus. What went wrong, why can't it work?" She questioned sincerely interested.

"The only method I could come up with to prevent transformation during a full moon would require such a heavy concentration of poison that any amount of trying to counteract them with a healing or restorative offset proved fatally toxic." Severus explained, watching Lily frown in disappointment.

"Remus and I have worked on a few handy little spells, while Regulus has come up with a very nasty little ward that burns off the intruder's nose hairs causing them to cough and sneeze until they inhale water through their nose to put out the fire." To this Lily laughed covering her mouth to suppress the giggle at Severus deadpanned expression.

"I told him when he asked me to try to break it, that if I'd wanted to clear my nasal cobwebs I could have much easier used a targeted Calvus charm. Thank you very much." Severus added comically; glad to see Lily laughing and happy.

As they were already down in the dungeons and not far from the kitchens, Remus and Regulus arrived shortly, each with a very laden basket of food. The moment they got back a teeny little elf with pink girly pigtails, and a ruffle lace apron appeared conjured a table, complete with place settings and romantic candelabra, and then popped out of existence just as quickly.

Remus seemed to have had some time to mellow his anger and grinned wolfishly, nudging an elbow into Regulus ribs.

"I told you she fancies you Reg!" Nodding to where the little elf had disappeared. Regulus looked a bit abashed and just ignored Remus.

"Did you guys invite the rest of Slytherin house as well? This is an insane amount of food!" Lily exclaimed as she unpacked the baskets. Remus spoke up quickly, cutting Regulus off.

"Regulus here has quite charmed a few of the kitchen staff house elves with his "face of an angel" didn't she say? We were lucky to get out alive and not stuffed full to death of meat pie and hung on the wall to be forever admired by the little lady elves."

Seeing the embarrassed blush on his face, Severus jumped into the teasing slapping Regulus on the back encouragingly, "Oh come on be glad you 've got the face of an angel, I'm sure they'd turn me away in an instant if I didn't keep you around." Regulus then ginned wildly at their teasing joining in by jesting as well.

"Angel of death is more like it. I've got my cruel Raven, and my impending doom sidekick the Grim, to help me on my quest to steal all their souls." He said in a mock drama tone, mimicking the Grim Reaper with his school robes while gesturing to Severus as his Raven, and Remus as his Grim.

To this they all laughed merrily, taking their seats at the conjured table, they enjoyed a friendly intimate evening where only the happiest of thoughts and musings were shared.

* * *

Severus easily guessed that Lily and James were fighting, and that was the sole cause for her being upset. But he resolved to stay out of it; he didn't care if they never worked it out, all the better for him. She'd already managed to lessen the effects of the imprinting that James had initiated and the was a good start in his book. Lily had admitted her suspicion that James had used Legilimency on her, but she'd never made the leap towards a soul imprint which, in her defense, was actually not an easy thing to find out about. And now that they were in rough waters, Lily flatly refusing to even talk to James, Severus and Lily spend much more time together.

They were only weeks away from exams and the strain and stress of their assignments left little time for more than studying with one another as socialization. They were a very eclectic group of study minded students so it didn't offend any of the four to spend hours in each other's company not speaking much, except to ask a question of the general room on some theory or law.

Remus more often than naught, was asking Lily how to spell certain words. She was frequently reminding him when she would read over his work that his spelling was atrocious. To which Remus would grin widely as if he'd misspelled everything intentionally.

The week before exams Severus was very upset to find that his Potions text was missing. He searched for it everywhere, high and low and could not find it. Remus, Regulus and Lily, all pitched in to try to help him find it but to no avail.

"This can't be happening!" Severus said more to himself pulling at his hair in his desperation to find it. All of his notes on the various changes he'd made to the potions, his signature spells he'd made, even some very detailed though incomplete notes on his Wolfsbane were written in the margins of that book. Not to mention he'd been warned by the old man that it would get stolen if he didn't keep a good watch on it, and he'd completely forgot about it.

"Sev, it's alright it will turn up, here we can share mine." Said Lily, pulling out her own book and setting it next to her, beckoning him to come and join her at the table.

"It's not the text itself Lily, all of my notes, and spells are written inside it. I can't let it fall into the wrong hands!" Severus said as he dumped his book bag upside down for a fourth time, trying to see if it would miraculously fall out.

Sitting down dejectedly, Severus held his head in his hand while he tried to think of what to do. The old man would ream him, he just knew it.

_That's it! He will probably know what happened to it in his time and I can start by looking there._ He thought, before standing abruptly to leave.

"Where are you going Sev?" Lily said with a look of concern on her face that was mirrored by Regulus and Remus.

"I'm going to check my dorm room maybe I left it there after all. I'll be back in a little while." He literally flew from the lab towards his dorm. Though he didn't really want to tell the old man that he still lost the journal, he knew it was his best chance of finding it and getting it back.

When he reached his dorm room he locked and warded the door, before he dug through his trunk and pulled the journal out of the small chest hidden there. Grabbing a quill and ink he plopped the book onto his lap and wrote while sitting on the floor in front of his trunk.

"My potions text is missing; do you know where it went last time? I have to find it!" Severus wrote sloppily.

"I told you to keep a closer eye on it, though I can't say I'm surprised you didn't listen." The book drawled back.

"Look I'm sorry, it just slipped my mind. Please tell me you know what happened to it?" Severus begged.

"I don't. It disappeared until the very last day of school, then out of nowhere it was on my bed when I went to pack my trunk." The journal replied unhelpfully.

"What was it you said happened because I didn't keep track of the book, again?" Severus questioned.

"Your spells get out among the general populace of the school, and then James ambushes you on the last day of exams. Here, look and see." It said then a large ink spot appeared and grew larger and larger. Severus looked at it closely until he felt the familiar falling forward sensation into the pages of the book.

Severus watched the memory play out, not very different from the many times he'd been targeted prior to this year. But this year had been different for him. Lily was with him a lot while they were dating and James, ever trying to prove he was better than "Snivellus", didn't outright attack him nearly as often. After Lily there had been Regulus and Remus, which had really turned the tide to his favor by not being outnumbered all the time. But it was even more than that. He watched himself, the awkwardness, the lack of confidence he had in himself, and the anger that clouded his judgment. This Snape hadn't learned occlumency yet, hadn't been bold and asked Lily out, didn't have the weight of his every action and word hanging on him wondering if he was making some huge mistake that would affect him for the rest of his life. This Snape had whole heartedly joined with the death eater Slytherins to find the camaraderie he'd never had before, just to once and for all be accepted and feel like he was worth something.

He was amazed at the vast change he saw in himself, as he watched himself get bullied, then defended by Lily. Then saw how in his anger he lashed out at Lily. He winced when he heard it come out. He'd previous to this year, been known to speak that way around that Slytherin crowd that had hopes of joining Voldemort after 'd played along with their pure blood superiority talk, posturing to garner their favor. He knew how easily something like that could slip out when he was angry.

When the memory ended Severus understood. Somehow James, Sirius and Peter will end up with his book and steal his own spells and try to turn them on him. Well he'd make sure he was ready for them.

_One thing was for sure James would walk away with more than just a gash on his cheek_. He thought angrily.

"Well things certainly won't be too much like that I'm different now that I have friends, though I'm sure their attacks will be rather close to that. I'll start trying to find my book inside Gryffindor tower, Remus will be willing to help me find it." Severus wrote to the journal when he got out of the memory.

"You have everything you need to know, you're ready to try this one and hopefully it all turns out for the better in the end." The book wrote back before it shut itself, ending their conversation.

* * *

Severus asked Remus to look around the Gryffindor common room for him and see if he could find the book. Remus agreed to look and promised not to say anything about it to Lily. He didn't want Lily going straight to James and asking for the book, he'd never know what the mauraders might do to it then, just out of spite.

The week of exams began and the book still wasn't found. Severus was getting increasingly worried thinking that people could be passing his book around learning his spells with no idea of what they did before they tried them, some spells could potentially be dangerous.

He was most worried about the Wolfsbane instructions, even incomplete it could ruin his plans if someone tried to submit the potion for patent before he did. The only thing keeping him from sending it in for the patent right then was his lack of funds to pay for it. He'd planned to work again over the summer, maybe even get two jobs or get the local paper to give him more than one route. If he didn't earn enough by the end of summer he'd planned to bite the bullet and sell a few of the tomes that he wasn't likely to need from his inherited library. But that would only be in the worst case, and as a last resort, the thought of getting rid of even one of his books caused him to fret anxiously, bibliophile that he was.

Severus, Remus and Lily gathered together at the end of their Defense exam and practical; They'd told Regulus they'd be down at their favored tree by the lake enjoying the sun when he finished his last OWL for that day. They walked that direction in overall happiness, completely oblivious to the very hate filled glares stuck on their backs.

Sirius tossed his head in their direction, getting James to look their way. James turned a very unattractive shade of blotchy red in his anger and jealousy. Peter put on an almost convincing look of menace but followed the other boys two at a safe distance behind them, incase anything started. James and Sirius followed the group covertly staying far enough away to not be noticed.

On the way out, Lily had to stop to reprimand a group of first years fighting in the corridor and left to march them to their heads of house for punishment.

"Go on, I'll meet you when I'm through with this lot." She said grabbing the two first year boys by the ear and turning them the opposite direction. "Onward! To detention firsties." Lily said as she released their ears commanding them to walk in front of her and marched them away, their expressions filled with fear of their impending doom.

Remus chuffed and snorted in amusement at the sight, and he and Severus resumed their trek to their destination. On the way there Remus got a little side tracked by a Ravenclaw boy he'd been interested in and stepped off to talk to him a little ways from the tree. Severus immediately plopped down in the shady retreat, loosening his tie with a drawn out sigh toward the oncoming summer heat. Then he grabbed his bag to look for a book to pass the time till his friends would join him.

Looking back Severus felt he should have known this was coming. The circumstances where only too perfect, him alone and relaxed and unaware, when all year he'd been near impossible to ambush, or with backup to even the odds. Whilst he was digging through his bag he heard the menacing yell, "Expeliarmus!" and jumped up trying to catch his wand in midair as it flew from its place hidden up his sleeve. He missed and it landed far from him.

_Damn it!_ He thought,_ I knew this was supposed to happen, why wasn't I paying attention? _

As he dived for his wand he was hit by the 'Impedimenta' he knew was coming from Sirius. He knew better than to start spewing curses, he'd no desire to have his mouth filled with soap from the 'Sourgify'.

Luckily for him he'd been much better practiced at his Occlumency so he was able to think quickly and react with better decorum than he'd seen of himself in the memory. But he was extremely angry, there was no way he was willing to let this happen, wand or no. Behind his occlusion his corporeal form materialized a wand and he focused on the spell that he wished to summon and flung the willpower through his occlusion and into his own hands. With a reaction like catching a baseball Severus threw his wand hand up in front of him and the Sectumsempra James had yelled was absorbed, but the force of the impact and his lack of balance due to the Impedimenta knocked him on his back.

Severus saw Remus running up to help him only to be waylaid by Peter who threw a Levicorpus at him, followed by Sirius who hopped in with Peter, disarming and leering at Remus.

James face was filled with rage and jealousy. "You greasy bastard, what have you been telling Lily?" Severus moved to try to get up and get to his wand, somehow managing to roll and dive out of the way of the few spells flung by James at his back.

Severus gained his wand and removed the Impedimenta on himself, jumping to his feet he turned on James, his face twisted in a hateful sneer.

"She came crying to me only weeks ago. Whatever your quarrel is with, I've had no hand in it. Back off, before I make you regret you ever oozed from your mothers fungal womb." Severus said twisting the wand menacingly, pointing it at James chest. That silken razor-edged tone picked up from the old man thick in his voice, making the insult sting and fester as it landed. James unimaginably, turned even redder in his anger at the insult. Sirius at his side had turned around to face Severus now that Remus was incapacitated. Knowing the Levicorpus was coming when Sirius' arm pulled back Severus threw up another Protego shield deflecting it, and then ducked the spell James had followed up with. He didn't have time to react to Lily's voice calling out angrily behind him,

"Leave him alone!"

His instinct only responding with the information of being attacked from behind as well as in front, and he rolled sideways a little, turning to see that Lily had come up behind him from the winding path leading from the castle. He watched in horror in that moment, as the icy blue spell flung by James passed over Severus, and hit Lily in the chest and knocking her flat.

The spell had banished every stitch of clothes she wore, leaving her breathless and sprawled naked for all and sundry to see. Severus was up in a heartbeat and vicious growl on his lips; he made it the few yards to her side and quickly covered her, with one half of his robe as he struggled out of it while endeavoring to keep her covered.

Lily knocked breathless at first burst into angry embarrassed tears as she forced air into her spasming diaphragm. Severus helped her to her feet holding the robes tightly around her then held Lily to his chest with one arm. He jammed the other hand holding his wand into James throat when he approached with concern and shame written on his face.

"Lily, I - I di-."

"Say one more word Potter and I'll cut you from nose to navel! You know I can, don't you?" Severus interrupted him in a dangerously quiet tone. Fear lit up in James eyes, but the threat didn't stay Sirius tongue,

"Trying to act the hero now are we Snivellus? Why don't you crawl back into your hole where we don't have to see your hideously greasy mug, and mind your own bloody business?" Sirius spat at him.

"Finite!" They heard called out behind them. They all looked back to see Peter cowering behind a tree as Regulus helped Remus to his feet, handing him his wand.

"Get out of my sight Potter, before I castrate you! You arrogant, bullying, toerag!" Lily spoke up her wand poking from the folds of Severus robes.

James looked angry and hurt by this but stumbled backwards and beat a retreat with his two mates, all grabbing their bags from where they dropped them down the path.

Remus thinking quickly waved his wand, "Accio Severus' Potions Book!" which flew from out of Peter's unclasped book bag and into his hand.

Regulus rounded on Peter, his wand trained at cowardly boy's chest as he moved to pass by him.

"You'd best learn to keep your slimy rat fingers off things that don't belong to you, or I'll cut them off one by one and feed them down your squeaking throat!" Regulus threatened him. Peter fell backwards, scrambling away in his fear trying to get behind James or Sirius, but they'd kept moving not paying any mind to their supposed friend and his dilemma.

"Leave it Regulus." Severus told him, to get him to back down and let the simpering boy scamper off as fast as his legs would carry him.

"Come on let's get you to the dorm for some new clothes, then we'll nick some food from the kitchens again, OK Love? Said Remus; speaking to Lily as a kind and gentle older brother would to his sister who'd woken with a nightmare. Lily nodded agreement but her eyes filled with tears and her face went red with humiliation.

Severus felt her shaking with her shame, fear, and anger, He rubbed her arm comfortingly, giving her a one-armed squeeze as he lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered. "Don't worry, I promise I didn't peek, and I'll gouge out their eyes if they ever say anything about what they might have seen." Then Severus kissed her on the top of the head and they moved on to escort her to her dorm.

Severus never dreamed that something could turn out so differently but yet so similar. The spell used by James, named Teguremovere, was one of his own devising that he'd never thought or intended to be used on a person. He invented it to be used to skin shrivelfigs, as he hated the feel of their skinless texture. It also came in handy for removing corn husks, which is what he'd practiced it on at home over the summer. He was infinitely glad that Lily didn't end up skinned alive by the spell, he'd die from his guilt, even if he didn't cast the spell himself. He shuddered to even think of it.

_How could a person be so thoughtless as to use an unknown spell against someone? At some point they would have had to cast it at each other to know it removed clothing from people and not their skin like it did for the shrivelfigs and corn husks. Not that I'm surprised at how reckless they are. _Severus thought to himself.

_At least he's got his text back now_, Severus hopefully thought, _maybe they kept it between themselves but it isn't likely_.

The last few days of exams flew by with Remus and Severus playing bodyguard for Lily everywhere she went, to keep James from ever approaching her. They told her if she wanted to talk to him she need only tell them to back off, but she seemed perfectly content with letting them keep James greater than a few arm's length away from her at all times.

When they all got off the Hogwarts Express in London they waved goodbye to Regulus as he was smothered by kisses from his mother, walking off with a red face in embarrassment. Lily joined her family with a look of great relief to leave the school year behind. Remus however, stuck by Severus for a few minutes as they watched her leave with her family happily.

"You know Severus, my parents would be more than happy to have you come and stay over the summer. They would actually like to be introduced, if you'd like to meet them." Remus said nodding toward his parents who waved at them and he waved back indicating they'd be over in a second.

Severus was shocked, he'd never been invited to stay with anyone over the holiday.

_Though thinking about it, it would make it easier to get Remus his potion if he could drop in during the weeks of the full moon._ Severus considered briefly before accepting,

"Thank you, I relish the opportunity to meet them and if they are obliging, I think it would be best if I could drop in for a few days each month." Severus said giving him a significant look.

"That would be wonderful" Remus agreed, "Am I at liberty to discuss the improvements in that area with them?" He asked Severus, he'd need explicit permission to be able to say anything about the potion since he was under oath for silence. Severus answered by clasping Remus wand hand with his wand hand, "I give you full permission to discuss my work on your furry little problem with your parents, under private circumstances." Remus smiled at him wolfishly, and before they released arms he pulled Severus in for a brief hug and pounded him on the back in his happiness.

"Come on, you have no idea how happy you'll have made them. It will be good to see Mother without the weight of my condition pulling her down when she looks at me."

With that Remus lead Severus over to his parents for an introduction, and Severus was dumbfounded by the warm welcome he received. Life really seemed to be looking up.

* * *

A/N: Thanks everyone for your Reviews, especially anyone I missed responding to. You are all, le best! -iLexx


	12. Of Welcoming (9,045)

A/N:_**The chapter now Beta'd 5/31/13**__** NEW CONTENT ADDED - Severus and Regulus figure out how to deal with the patent problem and come face to face with the thief. But they walk away with some very helpful trade secrets gifted by a drunk professor Slughorn. Scroll down to last line break in the chapter after the interview with Moldywarts.**_**  
**

Thank you all for your reviews, pointers, and discussions, I'm really enjoying all of them.

**No content warnings.**

Mood Music: 'Some wobbles' by Ephixa

Disclaimer: not mine ( except any spelling and grammar errors I'll claim all those) no money!

* * *

**Chapter 11: Of Welcoming**

Severus said his goodbye to the Lupins, promising to see them in less than a week for the full moon on June 1st. As he walked to the apparition point he felt for the first time since the year he expected his letter from Hogwarts that his life was moving forward. He was content for the most part, and the change felt so good. It was amazing the sense of relief that washed over him at the thought that he was no longer underage, having reached majority in January of that school year. He smiled at the memory. It was the first year he'd had anyone who cared that he'd just hit a milestone in his life.

Remus and Regulus surprised him only days after the success of the Wolfsbane, presenting him with gifts quietly by leaving them on his work table. When he'd arrived he found the gifts sitting there; they both looked up from their chess game gave him a smile and nod, and that was the end of it. Severus smiled to himself, very happy with the friends he'd found and their support of him.

This thought prompted him to consider when the right time would be for him to share his fore-knowledge with them. He'd like to tell them right away but he was always one to err on the side of caution. He deliberated as he walked to a deserted alleyway his trunk in tow, deciding to speak with the old man about it and see what he thought of the situation.

Severus paused and took a deep breath before concentrating on his room at Spinner's End and apparating directly to it. He and his trunk landed rather ungracefully with a rather loud thump, and he was sure the crack that resulted from his arrival had reverberated through the house. Wincing he thought,

_Well no use in being apprehensive of announcing my arrival now is there, the whole street probably heard that._

Severus groaned inwardly as he heard the rushed but unsteady steps of his drunken father making his way up the stairs to his room. Severus out of habit hid his wand up his sleeve and stiffened just in time for his stumbling and very irate father to fall through the door.

"Thought you could just sneak into my house did you? You'll not be doing you hocus pocus shit around here, you ain't allowed, and I'd like nuthin' better than to see you tossed out from your lot onto your arse for breaking their 'secrecy'." Tobias Snape sneered staggering into Severus face, breathing his filthy and heavily fumed breath up into Severus face, nearly crashing into his chest with his lack of balance.

"Father." Severus said returning the sneer, "You'll be happy to remember that when I came of age, the ban on my using magic over the summer, or any other time was lifted. But your concern is appreciated." Severus quipped back at him.

He enjoyed seeing his father near fit to burst with his outrage and anger over at Severus speaking to him thus. Severus never said anything to him, it's a wonder his father knew he had a voice, which might have been part of the cause for his current shock. However the rage was merely Tobias' mask to hide the intense fear that he had for his son, and his ability to use magic.

"You'll not take that tone with me boy, not in my house. You're not so big and tough that you won't go sniveling when I box your ears." As Tobias turned to leave he cuffed Severus with a hard left to the side of his head, knocking Severus sideways and off-balance, dazed with his right ear ringing from the impact. Severus quickly reined in his anger, shutting himself inside his occlusion to escape the overwhelming urge to throttle the drunkard that he had loathed and despised his entire life. Tobias stumbled his way back down stairs shouting at his mother that her worthless son was home.

"Hurry up and make the god damned food already, woman. Your such a waste of space!" He heard his mother respond faintly and then heard the smack she'd received in return, before Severus quickly shut the door to block out the sounds.

"Welcome home." Severus said despondently, sitting on his bed and touching the side of his head. He hissed at the pain and then winced when he pulled his hand away with blood on his fingertips. Wand in hand he moved to the small mirror situated above his armoire and cast a Vulenera at the small gash on his cheek bone. Then he dug through his trunk and pulled out a jar of bruise paste, applying it evenly over the quickly discoloring area. Tossing the jar on his bed Severus sighed, looking about his room trying to decide what to do first.

a few hours later, once he was unpacked he opened his door quietly and listening for the telltale sound of his father's snores, then he left his room to head down to greet his mother and offer her the jar of bruise paste if she needed it. She never accepted it before, he didn't think she would start now. Severus remembered nicking an arm load of supplies from the hospital wing near the end of his first year, hoping to be able to do his mother some good for once after she was subjected to her husbands drunken rage.

Eileen sat demure at the kitchen table with her tea-things, staring without really seeing out the kitchen window that overlooked the small garden behind the home. Severus made his way down the creaky narrow stairs as quietly has possible. He stopped at the entrance to the kitchen and leaned against the wall a moment observing her unnoticed. She had a recently split lip and a red welt across her jaw and cheek, and there were other tell-tale marks of older wounds still healing, a slight yellowness left over from black eye, hand prints bruising around her wrists and arms. It tore at his heart, knowing he left her here every year when he went to school. He needed to make a better life for her.

_But would it follow that she would ever live a life?_ He wondered. She'd checked out long ago, lost in her depression. Severus never knew how to reach her, he defaulted to what he'd done for the last decade.

"Mother." Severus said as he approached her. She looked at him expressionless. Looking him up and down.

"You've grown." She said Severus gave her a small smirk.

"Sit down then, let me see you." She commanded. Severus grabbed a rickety chair and moved it to face her while she turned to look at him. He sat down in front of her and grabbed both her hands. One hand reaching up to dab at her lip with his handkerchief.

"Leave it." She commanded, jerking her head away from him. Severus grabbed the jar of bruise paste from his pocket and set it on the table beside them where she ignored it. Before looking back at the austere woman, Severus looked over her hands in his letting her have her look at him. He heard her give a sigh, and looked up to see she'd lost interest and was gazing out the window again. Severus leaned forward and hugged her briefly as he had many other times and as always she didn't move to hug him back, only patting his shoulder.

* * *

Hours later, Severus could be found in his room at his small desk with the memory chest out and opened at his feet, and the journal splayed before him as he discussed his two friends and their trust worthiness.

"Remus is always fighting for the side of light and especially eager to help Harry, with an air of obligation towards him, most likely due to what he felt he owed to Lily for her friendship and kindness to him. " The journal explained and Severus was unaware that he relaxed marginally in his relief to be able to share and trust his new close friend. He'd felt sure he could count on Remus to be a faithful and devoted friend, but it didn't erase his niggling fears that he may well lose his friends as soon and as quickly as he got them. The journal continued it's outlining of his friends as they had turned out the first time.

"Regulus, was I'm sad to say not able to trust you. I realized it much to late that he was trying to bring Voldemort down. His brother was so utterly incapable of discretion, it was a bit of a surprise to me that Regulus was the sheer embodiment of Slytherin cunning. The Dark Lord never once doubted or questioned his loyalty, and it was because of the utter shock at Regulus' seeming abandonment of the cause. When he disappeared that the Dark Lord played it off as an Unknown disappearance, edging on implying he'd been killed for betrayal. Those of us in the inner circle though saw a rare glimpse of how blind-sided the Dark Lord was once it was clear that Regulus was never returning as he settled his entire inheritance on his estranged and disinherited elder brother; a well-known Order member. Regulus will indeed be a great asset to you, and though I do not know how he met his death, I believe you are both better off fighting against the Dark Lord together as allies."

"I will tell them both right away, the next full moon is but four days away and Remus said he would be sending invitation for Regulus to meet us there." Severus wrote excitedly. He tapped his quill on his cheek for a moment as he thought of what he would need to show them, before decided to get the journal to weigh in on it.

"If there anything that I can be told now? What more information could you have that I can compile and share with them?" He asked, then sat back waiting for a reply.

"This summer you and Regulus must attend your first recruitment meeting. I daresay you will get an invitation to Malfoy's estate in Wiltshire within the month. It is very important for you particularly, to build your friendship with Lucius and Narcissa. They are a very powerful ally to have, and near the end they'll become disenchanted from the Dark Lord and willing to turn against him. You as the Godfather of their son, will be instrumental in leading them toward this change should you manage to guide this war to a better end than the last." The journal said, seeming to brood over the last sentence. Severus wasn't sure he'd want the pressure that came along with knowing all of what he was trying to prevent, but at the same time knew that he must be able to tell his two friends soon to be allies in this cause the whole reason for it all.

"What happened, what can you tell me that is, of what happened in the end? Why it was so bad that you send the memories back in time?" Severus question carefully, with apprehension.

"Dumbledore is the leader of our cause, the master manipulator, and General for the side of light. His plan to win fails, and fails so badly that there is no hope left for the side of light in the end, and Voldemort finally succeeds at gaining his death grip on Britain's wizarding society. On the journey to this miserable end so many people are sacrificed unnecessarily, there is so much needless suffering. I sent this information to you in hopes of you changing enough to turn the tides in our favor by having vital information that Dumbledore keep secret from you for years." The book had finished and Severus sat in silence thinking, hoping that he'd be able to pull it all off, his thoughts wandering briefly to 'Her', and how she would fit into the grand scheme of things in the end.

* * *

The next day Severus carefully packed a small rucksack that he'd cast an undetectable extension charm on, carefully placing the memory chest inside and securing it so that it wouldn't jostle too much. As much as he wanted to have an excuse to fly in Raven form Severus knew he would be wasting time and had grudgingly decided to apparate instead. When he landed, with more grace thankfully, in the quiet courtyard that lead to the average sized country home where the Lupin's lived, he took a moment to take in the scenery before him.

Their home sat in a grassy clearing amid the Forest of Dean, along Cockshoot Wood. It looked sufficiently quiet and out of the way from the world to keep them separated from both magical and muggle communities. Severus lowered his bag from his shoulder and turned in a circle taking in the serene view of the encroaching forest and it sun bathed boughs.

Remus stepped outside greeting him with a man hug and then welcomed him into a comfortable sitting room where they sat briefly discussing when Regulus would be arriving.

"Is there someplace where we could speak privately? Just the three of us when he arrives, as I have some rather delicate information I'd like to share with you both. " Severus asked trying to not be rude asking whilst out of the presence of Mr. and Mrs. Lupin.

"If you have no aversion to it the cellar here has been transformed throughout my life to accommodate me, it serves as a separate suite for my use only and is heavily warded and sound proofed, as you can imagine." Remus said with a wry smile.

"You know, I always wondered why the Headmaster never put silencing charms on the Shrieking shack? Surely drawing more attention to an unnoticed run down home wasn't necessary to divert attention from it." Severus mused aloud, to which Remus chuckled and replied. "We can't all be such logical Slytherins, or else there'd be even more house rivalry than there is." At this the fireplace flared green, as the floo was activated and Regulus arrived in swirling green flames and soot. He stepped out of the floo with a wide grin banishing the soot from his clothes.

"Alright Remus, Severus?" He nodded toward them, just as Mrs. Lupin entered the sitting room with an exclamation.

"Remus love, Bring your friends into the kitchen!" She turned to both Dark haired boys with a genuine smile, her honey brown eyes conveying her gentle nature and warmth. "I've got a little something set aside for you to nibble at if you're at all hungry dears. Come, come along." She said leading them into the other room then seeing both Severus and Regulus shouldering their bags, she scolded Remus, "Have you not seen them to their rooms to deliver their things? Remus, for shame! Take their things from them and in to their rooms at once." Mrs. Lupin tisked at him. Remus looking a bit ashamed took both their bags then took off toward the cellar stairway in the back of the house.

"I've only just arrived ma'am, I must say you have a very lovely home." said Regulus diplomatically and he stopped to look at a rather gangly awkward looking photograph of Lupin hanging on the wall as they passed.

"Thank you dear. Severus, have you been out this way before? Remus tells me you're a city boy, from Cokeworth?"

Severus gave a sideways smirk, turning up the silken charm of his voice "Yes ma'am, it's a very gloomy and dirty town next to a grimy, smelly river. Not a thing like your little slice of paradise." Mrs. Lupin smiled at his flattery as they stepped into the kitchen where she directed them to sit and plied them with a variety of goodies.

Remus rejoined them and they laughed and talked over memories from the last school year. When Remus and Regulus went off to find Mr. Lupin deep in debate over an unfinished chess match and who was obviously winning, Severus hung back to help Mrs. Lupin clear up their dishes. When they finished she turned to him and grabbed one of his hands in both of hers.

"Severus I want you to know how deeply grateful we are to you for helping our Remus. He's so changed and happy, Mr. Lupin and I would like to repay you in any way that we can. You may consider this your second home, and me your adoptive mother, for I love you like a son for the kindness you've shown us."

Severus felt rather overwhelmed by the forcefulness and honestly of her declarations, he blushed slightly at the attention and dipped his head.

"Thank you Mrs. Lupin, I'm very glad to have Remus as my friend. I am happy to help." Then with a smirk he said, "Not that I'm as selfless as all you implied, I plan to make an obscene amount of money when I submit the patent in a few weeks." trying to lessen the uncomfortable feeling that made him want to squirm in his seat at her high praise and gratitude.

Mrs. Lupin reached up and patted him on the cheek lovingly, "You keep telling yourself that, dear if it makes you happy." Then she released him and turned to her washing up, "You leave me to my work and go join the boys. The cellar is down the hall all the way to the end on the left." She said while she tried to mask a small sniffle with the clanking of dishes.

* * *

Severus, Regulus, and Remus sat in a small windowless study in the cellar that had many bookshelves, full of the books Remus had collected and been gifted in his 17 years. There was a long black buttoned leather sofa and with two matching wing-backed chairs that sat around a low coffee table. Then what looked to be a bear skinned rug, centered under it all, was very large and the pelt had a lush, thick shaggy fur. A fireplace was on one side unlit during the summer months, and behind the sofa there was a thick plain desk with a bankers lamp and writing utensils on top its polished wood there was a matching green glass hanging chandelier that lit the room making it quite cozy despite its lack of natural light. It had a very masculine tone and it was invitingly relaxing, and despite it being more simply decorated it was a very enjoyable atmosphere.

Remus and Regulus sat opposite from Severus on the sofa looking curious as they both lounged in opposite corners. Severus had brought the Memory chest into the room and it sat on the table between them. Severus sat on the edge of his seat and began his story.

"Last summer only weeks before school started, this chest appeared in my room. " He indicated the chest on the table and the two boys looked at it with increasing wariness as well as curiosity. "Once I ascertained its safety, I opened it. It is keyed to open only to my magical signature. I've studied the wards and they are very powerful, so I will advise you now not to attempt to break them. I still am not sure what their backlash effects are." Severus said and Regulus grinned sheepishly obviously trying to consider how one would tear down a signature bound ward. Then he frowned, "If you don't know their backlash, how have you managed to place the wards and attach them to your magical signature? You must have had some knowledge of the wards before you cast them." Severus nodded at him then continued, "I didn't cast them, the chest appeared to me with them in place. Do either of you know what this instrument is?" Severus said turning the chest to face them and pointing out the embedded time-turner above the lock. Remus and Regulus both sat forward with awe when they saw it.

"A Time-Turner?" Remus said confusedly, both looking up to Severus for further explanation.

"My future self has sent this to me to try to change the past." To which Regulus eyes went wide.

"That's very dangerous Severus if you get caught tampering with time, it's illegal." He said worriedly. Severus merely nodded "Yes the use of time-turners is heavily restricted, I don't' think it says anything about sending items back in time, only for persons going back in time." Understanding dawned on both of them and they nodded slowly. "So what's inside it then?" Remus asked leaning forward placing his elbows on his knees.

Severus turned the chest back opened it and took out the journal and then the stone pensive which hovered over the center of the coffee table. Then he pulled out the one memory vial that he could access, that first that he'd seen and set it on the table next to the pensive.

"Memories? That bloody brilliant! So then your future self sent back memories to give you tips on life. What's in them?" Regulus questioned excitedly.

"The journal is a sort of enchanted or charmed memory of myself 21 years from now. I write in it and it will respond and I can have conversations with it and ask it questions. I have only been able to converse with the journal and view this single memory. I want to share what I have learned with you both, in exchange for your silence first and your help in what he is requesting be done." Regulus and Remus exchanged very serious expressions, before turning and nodding to Severus to continue. He carefully poured the gaseous memory into the stone basin, then looked up at them. "Touch the surface of the liquid to view the memory."

Severus watched as each of their expressions became distant and dreamy. Then minutes later with nearly matching scowls evidenced that they'd finished the memory. Severus quietly packed up the memory and the pensive, allowing them to mull their thoughts. Remus spoke up first.

"What's going to happen to Lily? What sacrifice can't you save her from? It said in a few days time, how long do we have?" He rushed through his questions obviously feeling a little panicked and short on time

"The chest arrived before it was intended, due to the long distance he'd sent it back it's arrival was not precise. The journal informs me now is not the time and also that there is a time-locking charm preventing me from gaining any information of the future too soon." Severus explained.

"What I do know is that I need to join the Death Eaters as a spy for Dumbledore's Order, in an effort to try to control and glean information to help our side of the war. Regulus the Journal informs me that you joined in his time and from what he can tell you attempted to fight him covertly in your way. Will you join with me still?" Severus questioned Regulus who nodded without letting him even fish the question. "I've already been meaning to, as you know. But I didn't know how I would do anything against his cause, only that I would try to find its weakness. Not to mention, it is expected of me by my parents." Regulus said the last rather ashamed. Severus turned to Remus who was deep in thought. It was widely known that Fenrir Greyback was one of Voldemorts staunch supporters, a man he feared and had night terrors over still from the attack he suffered as a young boy. The man who made him a werewolf. Severus seeing his pale fear filled face spoke to him, "Remus, the journal says that you join with Dumbledore's Order, in his time you remain friends with the Maurader's, and you try to help the order bring other werewolves to our side in exchange for a properly made Wolfsbane. Apparently there is a widespread problem of the potion being made incorrectly, and werewolves who do find a supplier of the potion have been known to suffer immense pain or even die from its effects." Severus said this last bit with confusion, not understanding how an entire community of potioneers could all be unable to follow instructions.

"Are you willing to still take on this responsibility, to liaison with other werewolves and help us to make their lives safer as well as the general populace safer?" Remus nodded his assent as well, a look of firm determination on his features.

"Thank you, I can say it for myself now, as well as my future self who didn't earn your friendship in his time." With that Severus opened the journal and pulled out the Dicta-Quill he'd brought. Setting it up over the journal he looked up at his two mates and said, "Any questions? " Inviting them to ask their questions of the journal directly.

By the time they were done questioning the journal they were all looking grim. The weight of what they had learned, the extent of Voldemort's depravity and that of his Death Eaters, left a heavy pall over the room. But their shared looks of determination were the strongest of the bonds they formed there that day. They stepped into their new understanding of their broken world, shedding the last of any childhood innocence or naïvety, and when they left that room to begin brewing the Wolfsbane they emerged as men.

* * *

Two weeks after later found Severus in Diagon Alley to change his muggle money at Gringotts and then on his way to submit his potion for patent. When he emerged from the Goblin bank he was met by the lovely smiling face of Narcissa, on Lucius' arm.

"Severus, how good to see you. You have gotten so tall since I last saw you as a third year!" She said before she leaned up to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Lucius you never told me how much he'd changed! I almost didn't recognize you." She said smiling genuinely.

"Narcissa." He gave her a little bow and a small smirk, then a nod toward Lucius. "What brings you into town?" Severus asked politely.

Lucius flicked his long platinum hair hair haughtily over his shoulder, "Narcissa requires a few frivolities. But I say, we're having a gathering of friends and colleagues at Malfoy Manor, in a week's time. I've not yet finished the invitations, but can I count on you to join us for dinner and festivities, Thursday next, 6pm?" Lucius asked grandly

"It would be an honor. I thank you Lucius. Might I inquire the occasion?" Severus asked though already knowing what it was about.

"Oh just a touch of boring political maneuvering, but one can never have too many connections." Lucius smirked.

"I look forward to it then." Severus replied, before he opened and held the door for them to enter Gringotts and be on his way.

* * *

He arrived at the ministry building and looked around before walking to the security desk, and handing his wand to the wizard working there.

"Where to today Mr. Snape?" The wizard asked after finding his wand registry information.

"International Magical Office of Law, Department of Patents, Potions Division." Severus replied.

The Wizard didn't look up while he wrote the destination into the log. "That'll be on Level 5, all the way down the first hall you come to on the left. Have a nice day, Mr. Snape." He said as he handed Severus back his wand.

When he arrived at his destination he approached the Lady wearing a rather hideously green furry dress, lined with the most awful amount of lacy frills. She was sitting behind a counter in front of a large room full of filing cabinets that had parchments zipping about of their own free will, filing and copying themselves as she went through a stack of patent requests.

"How can I help you?" The woman asked not looking up.

"I'm her to file a patent for a potion" Severus replied handing her the form he's already filled out.

"One moment while I do a record check. She said looking up at him only briefly when she took the paper from him. She waved her wand over the form then flicked her wand toward the filing cabinets. A stack of several different files zoomed from various corners of the room and landed neatly in front of her. She shuffled through a few files, discarding each in turn, then she paused on one and looked back at Severus form, comparing the information she found on each. Before looking up and giving Severus a compassionate frown, "I'm sorry Mr. Snape, but this potion is too similar to one that was submitted only a week ago. You will not be able to patent this formula, you are welcome to submit an addendum filing for the existing patent, but you cannot make any legal profits off of the addendum. If you alter more than 1/4 of the total ingredients and methods you can resubmit your own formula again under a new patent then."

Severus was dumbfounded, and extremely angry. His face went red briefly and he frowned before his clamped down his emotions behind his occlusion.

"Might I enquire, who authored the first patent?" He said, his venomous tone coming out making her eyes dart up at him nervously.

"Damocles Belby." She said with a question tone as if to ask if Severus knew the person.

Belby was one of the Gryffindor's in his year who was nearly at the bottom of their class in potions. The fact that Belby could even read the instructions he'd no doubt lifted from his text while it was in possession of his thieving housemates, was a surprise in and of itself. The boy was barely able to make it into the NEWT level classes.

"I see. Thank you." Severus said then he turned sharply on his heel and stormed back the way he came, apparating to his room when he got back to the main level.

When he got home he threw open his window, transforming into a raven and taking off out his window. He'd told Remus he would stop in once he had filed the patent, Mr. and Mrs. Lupin wanting to have Severus over for a celebratory dinner to make the occasion. But Severus needed to blow off some steam. He flew instead, the hour and half long flight to the Lupins helping him to clear his mind.

When he arrived he transformed quickly and walked up to the short path to the front door and knocked. Remus answered the door looking perplexed.

"How'd you get here Severus? The apparition alarm didn't signal your arrival, did you bring a broom?" Remus questioned as he let him in.

Severus responded without really thinking still lost in thought over his disappointment, and not knowing that Remus didn't know yet of his Animagus form. "I don't need a broom to fly. Damocles Belby stole my patent." Severus said angrily.

"You what - wait who?" Remus asked confused by the two pieces of information. Then catching up with himself, frowned as angrily as Severus. "That thieving rat bastard probably passed the book around the whole bloody school. Belby can't even brew a hiccupping potion, how the bloody dues is he supposed to invent an original potion!" Remus raged getting louder by the second.

"Severus dear, what's happened?" Mrs. Lupin said when she came to investigate Remus' outburst, hearing the end of the exclamation.

"My book containing incomplete notes on the Wolfsbane was stolen weeks before the end of school. It seems Damocles Belby capitalized on the findings and has submitted the incomplete potion for patent, blocking any ability I might have in doing so myself without altering the formula and process by a quarter." Severus said sullenly, running his hand through his hair.

"Oh my dear. I'm very sorry, all of your hard work, to have it taken from you like that. Come on into the sitting room and join Mr. Lupin and I for some tea before dinner, and we'll see if he might know of something we can do about it." She said soothingly, and Severus allowed her to guide him, and rub on his arm comfortingly. _It was really nice of her to be so kind to him. _He thought, It did ease the cut of the disappointment some. Once the story was retold to Mr. Lupin; who was an older and rounder copy of Remus, with a well-groomed grey chops framing his face, he told them there really wasn't anything to be done. Which Severus was already aware of. Mr. Lupin watched Severus relate the story, picking up on his rather dejected mood, even though Severus showed little emotion.

"Severus, I wonder, what has this stopped you from doing? Other than gaining the credit for the work, and removing your ability to market the potion. What were your plans? As it seems to me you have a lot of hopes invested in the success of your potion." Mr. Lupin pointed out rather shrewdly.

Severus was not comfortable discussing his financial state with anyone and he frowned and looked at his hands trying to think of a way to change the subject.

"None really." Severus lied when he drew a blank on how to avoid the embarrassment of admitting his lack of any amount of wealth. Mr. Lupin seemed to see right through this lie but rather gentle guided Severus toward what he thought was the root of the problem.

"I'm sure the sting of not getting credit for your hard work is sharp, it would have done a lot to help secure your name among many potioneers. I don't think there has been a potioneer as young as you to develop such a ground breaking potion as you have, it would have been very beneficial to your career as a potioneer if that was your path." Mr. Lupin said pausing to receive Severus' reply.

"Yes sir. I had intended to seek my Potions Mastery after graduation." Severus answered quietly.

"Well then I think we have finally found a way to encourage this young man to continue on this path, Mrs. Lupin." He said to his wife and she smiled at him, understanding what he was implying. Severus looked up scowling in confusion at them, before he could say anything Mr Lupin spoke up speaking formally. "Mr. Snape, please accept my families sincerest thanks for your dedication to your art, that has allowed our son no small measure of relief from his condition, and permit us to be your sponsors as you seek your Potions Mastery. I'm asking, but I won't take no for an answer." Mr. Lupin beamed at Severus' shocked and speechless expression.

"Nor will I." Piped up Mrs. Lupin.

"Or I." Said Remus, pounding his friend on the back.

A wide grin blossomed and spread across Severus' features, and he looked around at the smilingly family around him. He ran his hand nervously through his hair at all their attention focused on him, waiting for his reply, as he cast about for the right words to express himself.

"I- I - Thank you. I accept." Said Severus and Mrs. Lupin threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly in her excitement.

Come on, dinners ready to come out of the oven. Let's celebrate our partnership, and your success together, where you hold the patent or not we all know who did all the work in this house." She said pulling Severus up from the couch and shooing the three men toward the kitchen for dinner.

* * *

A week later Severus flew into London to meet Regulus at Grimmald Place, from where they would be floo'ing to Malfoy Manor with Mr. and Mrs. Black. Severus has met Mrs. Black in passing at the train station a few years back. When he arrived She greeted him with austerity calling for her house elf Kreacher to lead him into the drawing-room to wait for Regulus.

Regulus came barreling down the stairs to which she chided him not to run about the house like an adolescent dragon on the loose.

Regulus entered the drawing-room looking a bit chagrined, with a grin.

Mother and Father will not be ready to leave for a half hour yet, but she said we should arrive there right on time to secure Lucius' ear before the politicians and high society arrive fashionably late." Regulus said with an eye roll.

They each floo'd into the lush ballroom, were the network had been diverted to for the party, and saw only close family and a few friends of the Malfoys had already arrived.

Avery, Mulciber, Rosier, Crouch Jr., Wilkes, and Regulus' cousin Bellatrix where all the current students that were in attendance and grouped together chatting quietly with their drinks waiting to see what was expected of them.

Rudolfus Lestrange join the crowd, loudly proclaiming, "Come dearest fiancé, have a private walk with me." as a way of showing off his prized much younger soon to be wife. A few other women more his age that, from their expressions were very jealous and still single, tittered at his request. Bellatrix's talents were well known to all.

Lucius spotted the new arrivals, and made his way over to them. I'd like to take you both into a private meeting, if you have a moment. Lucius informed them.

"Lead on, Cousin." Regulus replied denoting their relation by his marriage to Regulus' cousin Narcissa Malfoy nee Black.

They were escorted into a fine Study where a tall, handsome, dark-haired man who exuded command and power, stood gazing out the window when they entered. Severus tensed, standing rigidly, and put every ounce of effort he had into his occlusion.

"Ah Lucius, who have you brought me this evening?" The man said with a smooth voice that was ever used to the art of persuasion and cunning tactics.

"My lord, this is my wife's younger cousin Regulus Black, and this is Severus Snape, last heir of the Prince line." Introduced Lucius, making Severus raise an eye brow at him for his vast overstatement of his blood purity. Lucius had been a prefect when Severus arrived as a first year. Lucius had been very kind to him and taught him the ins and outs of navigating the Slytherin world. It was Lucius who told Severus to keep his blood-status to himself and let people believe whatever they assumed of his wizarding heritage as they saw fit. The advice had proved invaluable. The Dark Lord turned an appraising eye briefly curious at Lucius' description of Severus' heritage. He then turned to Regulus and spoke.

"Regulus, Lucius tells me you are a promising wand at curse breaking and wards, I hope that we can forge an alliance that will prove beneficial to us both." Riddle paced in front of the room slowly, thoughtfully tapping his wand to his lips before continuing. "I require backers for my pure blood activism, a very expensive hobby. In return for your joining our cause I could help you on the path of your chosen career. I have nothing but the best connections, and my recommendation could have you placed with the worlds most renowned curse-breaker masters." Voldemort said attempting to be as persuasive as possible.

Regulus responded as they had planned, "It would be an honor to serve such a noble cause, I'd gladly accept any guidance or aid you can give me as I seek to become curse-breaker after I complete my Hogwarts education." He said submissively. At the mention of Hogwarts, Riddle's expression darkened.

"An institution that has lost it's viability due to poor management, intermingling with impure muggleborns and blood traitors alike, and severe lack of proper training." Riddle despaired obviously bitter about being rejected the position of DADA. Then turning to eye Severus appraisingly he said.

"Severus. You, I am told, have had a much more thorough education in the dark arts. From what I understand, you are most exceedingly proficient? Lucius claims you are also extremely skilled in potions. They are both very desirable and useful qualities." The Dark Lord paused and examined him again. "Would you seek to join our ranks to support our cause, in exchange Lucius has already offered to become your sponsor to help you gain a Potions Mastery, if that is your wish?" Riddle asked and Severus could feel his eyes measuring him, as if trying to see physically the level of Severus' magical abilities.

"I'm honored to be offered a position in your cause, I will not need the sponsorship however. As you may not be aware but I have inherited the Prince Estates with the passing of my late uncle which has quite set me up on that score, though I thank you both." Severus explained diplomatically.

He didn't want to give Voldmort anything that would cause him to owe favors.

Riddle saw this and gave an appreciative smile at Severus' maneuvering out of being indebted to him, "Very well. We can have you both inducted after each of your graduations. There is only the small matter of showing your dedication to the cause. I'm sure you can both come up with something to prove to me you are a like-minded individuals." He said giving them each a pointed that, they were dismissed to rejoin the rest of the party which progressed dully, just as a normal society party would.

* * *

After some time mingling Regulus discretely got Severus' attention and nodded toward the other side of the room with a dark look. Across the room, being pandered about to various high profile people among the wizarding community by the sibilant Professor Slughorn, was none other than Damocles Belby and he was animatedly describing the extreme difficulties he'd endured to create the Wolfsbane. Severus seethed and made a move towards him, intent on calling the thief to the floor right then and there.

"Wait." Regulus said stepping in front of him and leaned into his ear. "I've been meaning to talk to you about this situation, I received information from my father just this morning. Stuff you'll like to know before you publicly denounce Belby and claim rights to the potion." Severus still angry, looked sideways at Regulus thinking for a moment before he jerked his head toward a deserted corner of the room where they could talk privately with out anyone taking notice. When they arrived Severus cast a discrete Muffliato around them and listened to Regulus tell him his news. He stood with his left side facing the room as he appeared to be adjusting his dress robes and straightening his appearance, Regulus with his back to the room and a drink in hand occasionally gestured animatedly like he was telling a fine story to his friend.

"Father said that there have been reports of the Wolfsbane being extremely unstable. Belby claims now after the fact that the potion is just unstable and that results vary for every individual. You know, take at your own risk. But Father knows Greyback, and overheard that the werewolf community is very angry at the lack of information Belby had released on the effects of the potion, that he claimed was a cure to lycanthropy. Which as we know it isn't. The rumor is that Belby intentionally made a fake potion designed to weaken, maim, or kill hopeful werewolves; as many as he could before they all found out it was deadly." Regulus paused and Severus looked at him with a deep scowl on his face.

"I can't afford to make enemies like Greyback if I want to get into the Death Eater ranks. What do you suggest I do about Belby then?" Severus question even as his own brain was hard at work to figure out his next move. He'd have to be really careful not to appear connected to the actual potion at all. It was a really unfortunate turn of events.

"Well that's just it, it's to your advantage if these werewolves suffer from a botched Wolfsbane. Then we can send Remus out with the correct brew to individually persuade any werewolves willing to join the Order, it will be an unparalleled incentive that would be hard to pass up. Not to mention keep all the clear-headed werewolves on the right side of this thing. Can you imagine the damage a werewolf like Fenrir Greyback would do if he had use of his full cognitive awareness while transformed?" Regulus leaned in and dropped his voice to a low conspiratory whisper for the last two sentences. Severus saw the wisdom in it, even though he would have to maintain distance from his intellectual property, he was still able to use the situation to his advantage for his own cause. He liked it, very much.

"You Slytherin." Severus smirked at Regulus who grinned at him widely then gave an exaggerated bow.

"As ever." he quipped back at him. Severus canceled the Muffliato and then they both wandered seemingly aimless through the room, approaching the group were Belby was regaling all who would listen of his accomplishments, while Slughorn stood behind him rocking back and forth on his feet in his excitement and no doubt inebriation. When Slughorn saw his two other students approaching he cut of from the group and waylaid them to brag Belby's news.

"Ah ha, Mr. Snape, Mr. Black. Have you heard of Mr. Belby's phenomenal success?" Slughorn said as he drumming his fingers on his fat chest barely containing his excitement to tell them.

"I'm to understand that he's recently patented a cure for lycanthropy, is that right?" Regulus interjected when he saw Severus suck in air through his gritted teeth and sneer slightly as he fought to control his anger. Severus took a deep breath, flicking his long black hair over his shoulder and forced his rage outside his occlusion, his face becoming impassive once more before Slughorn had a chance to notice the look. Regulus gave Severus a mild questioning brow, as if to ask if he could handle the situation, to which Severus returned a curt nod, lips pursed.

"Yes indeed my dear boy! And such an amazing discovery for someone who is still in school." Slughorn turned to Severus and said rather tactlessly to him, "I thought for sure if anyone in your year showed any promise to create anything it was you, . What with all your time spent experimenting in that side classroom you use. Not to mention your perfect marks in my class for last 6 years running. I must say, Belby took me quite by surprise with his success, only barely passing the NEWT class this last year. Now I can see it though, his grades suffered from all his dedication to his project." Slughorn prattled on until Severus interjected to change the subject, quickly becoming unable to listen to the praise being poured onto Belby with any more equanimity if he allowed him to continue.

"Quite a surprise, indeed sir. One can bet there will be many more patents to come from Mr. Belby, surely." He cut in with the silken razor-edged tone creeping in from his anger. Slughorn downed the last of his glass of an expensive elfin made wine and waved down a server to grab another while Severus replied, his wobbling betraying the extent of his drunkenness. He leaned in toward the two boys and gave them a knowing wink.

"Yes well any potioneer master will tell you that your better off not patenting your work at all, if you want to avoid your concoctions from being ill favorably judged by the ministry on a whim. If your creations are left unregistered they remain under the radar, so to speak, and can't be subjected to the shifting political winds that often come into play in these sorts of things. Many companies who produce potions will even require it of the more "grey area" potions so that they don't have any of their inventory becoming obsolete. No, no my boy, we potioneers circulate only the theory of our work and our testing results via potions periodicals and the like, then wait for the orders to arrive." Slughorn gave them a smug look at the shared knowledge, and Severus had to admit he was very obliged to have been told so. Though now he wondered how his alternate had managed to get his potion patented and if he knew of this trade secret. He'd have to ask him about it.

"Indeed sir? I thank you then for sparing me the opportunity of learning that the hard way as Mr. Belby will now have to do. If you'll excuse us?" Severus asked politely, to which he was waved off by a pudgy hand as the professor waddled and weaved back to his previous party. Severus turned to Regulus and the two shared a look of interested curiosity at the professors words. They turned together, seeking out their host to give their regards and thanks before leaving the party.

Once they made it back to Grimmald Place, Severus and Regulus holed up in the library with the door locked and warded by Regulus. They took the journal out to discuss all that had transpired that evening. When they explained the situation with Wolfsbane, Severus immediately questioned the journal on what Slughorn had told him.

"With that in mind did you suffer any negative effects like what he implied by having your Wolfsbane patented?" He queried for the Dicta-Quill.

"I never said I patented Wolfsbane." The book responded evasively.

"But you said that you created and patented a potion while in school? What did you create then?" Severus asked genuinely perplexed.

"I didn't create a potion while in school, or ever submit one for a patent." It said, continuing to baffle its readers who looked at each other confusedly. Regulus spoke up then questioning,

"Why didn't you? and then why did you say so to Severus?"

"I didn't because I was never given enough notice by Slughorn to be deemed worth his time, despite my obvious talents, I was an awkward nobody from an unknown bloodline. So I didn't get special privileges from him or the opportunity to gather ingredients from the Dark Forest. Since I never had enough money to waste on potions ingredients, I didn't get to put any of my theories to practice outside of class until Lucius became my Mastery sponsor." The book explained, and Severus cut in here.

"But you said that I created and patented a potion, why would you say that?" he said feeling betrayed by the book and not liking the feeling.

"Actually if you don't recall, what I said was, 'Some things must occur naturally. Just like I can't tell you what potion you manage to create and patent while still in school, or else you won't have to work at getting it. You need that experience to hone your skills and your character. Those experiences make us who we are.' I never said that you did, you inferred that on your own. I merely guided you to that conclusion hoping to see you raise to the challenge. Well done, you've actually achieved what you were always capable of simply because you believed that you were guaranteed not to fail in doing it." The book wrote, if it was possible his words seem to ooze his smug tone.

"Snape you are one sneaky bastard!" Regulus laughed, "The both of you." he shook his head in amusement, while Severus sat dumbfounded his mouth agape with his shock at being led by the nose in such a professionally Slytherin way. he sat back with his tumbler of firewhiskey and saluted the book and Regulus with a laughed before downing the drink. He and Regulus enjoying reveling in the many turn of events in their favor, and merrily laughing the night away.

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A/N: Whew! there's a plot hole wrapped up. Recognition and thanks for the prompts and ideas go to DeaGrimm! Thanks to all my readers for being patient with me while I went back and to edit and fill little holes I left along the way. let me know your thoughts if you have a moment I do so love hearing from you all. Anyone who I missed in replying to your reviews I apologize theyve gottn away from me this week, but all your input is greatly appreciated!

-iLexx


	13. Ut Praeesset Anima (5,188)

A/N:_**This chapter now Beta'd 6/1/13** _- **Regular chapter updates will resume later today 6/1/13 as soon as I write it!**

Hello dear readers! Interesting chapter ahead, after struggling to make it sound correct flow-wise, I decided to truncate the end of this chapter and I'll be adding it to the next one. So this one is a little shorter. As always thank you for sending me your thoughts and impressions, I really do feed off of them.

Mood Music: 'Somebody that I used to know.' by Goyte

**Content Warning:** Violent Mature Themes Mentioned. Cursing.

Disclaimer: is it really necessary to say this every chapter? I'd really like to know. - Not mine, no money.

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**Chapter 12: Ut Praeesset Anima - To Rule the Soul**

The summer seemed to fly past faster than Severus could have dreamed. He was kept very busy between the monthly, week-long visits to the Lupins home for each full moon and his job working for the local paper delivering papers early every morning. Even while he was staying with the Lupins, He'd wake up extra early and fly back to Cokeworth to do his deliveries, before returning to spend the day in the company of the friendly family.

During the weeks he was at home between the two full moons, Severus had been down in the basement of Spinners End. He'd managed to sneak past his fathers notice and was clearing away the old boxes of junk that had been stored down in the basement for many years. Most stuff, once it was placed by his father in basement was left there completely forgotten, never to be seen or used again. Severus decided to capitalize on this and quietly take over the space, converting it into a small lab where he could work undisturbed.

It was no small feat either, clearing away the vast amount of junk was as simple as a banishing spell, but doing it all without garnering any notice took finesse. Severus managed to ward the stairwell into the basement with a muggle repelling charm that caused his father to forget the reason he'd come down to the basement to begin with. That proved successful for a short time until Severus found that his father then seemed to associate the basement door with a storage closet. He would open the door and stack whatever items he was looking to store in the basement on the landing at the top of the stairs. It became rather annoying to have to clear something away to get out the door, or be on the look out for various odds and ends that had fallen down the stairs.

After the last full moon before school would begin, Severus finally settled on adding a undetectable extension charm and a new duplicate door on the wall next to the basement entrance. This created a small closet that could be stuffed to the heart's content for his father, and then allowed him to place the wards on the basement door itself making it invisible to all non-magical people. His mother found it that final week of holiday; shortly after he had finished setting it up while his father slept.

Eileen walked down into the basement with an expression of curiosity and interest that Severus had not seen on her face since he was a very small boy.

"Severus, is this what you have been up to down here?" She said looking around his newly set up potions lab. It was a little damp and with a lingering smell of mildew, but it was sufficient for his 'd just finished stocking the shelves that lined the room with his inherited library and various potions ingredients he'd collected for himself during his trips into the Dark Forest the previous year.

Severus turned around rather surprised to see her and even more surprised to see her not in her glazed and distant frame of mind.

"Yes ma'am, I've needed a place to work on some potions experiments, and those books from my uncle needed a new home besides collecting dust stuffed in my closet." Severus answered and he watched her closely observing this rare display from her as she walked the length of the room running her hand over his counter tops and along shelves.

"What kind of potions do you experiment with?" She asked and Severus responded,

"All of them really, I change little things to make them better and even created one of my own even."

She nodded not really hearing all of what he said having been lost in her own thoughts down memory lane.

"I was always fond of potions I even worked for Mr. Mulpeppers Apothecary after I finished school; I believe I was rather good at it at one time." She said wistfully while handling a jar of dried herbs and inspecting it carefully.

"I never knew." Severus shook his head in almost disbelief, his surprise written clearly on his face. His mother had never once told him of herself before and he was at a loss to figure out what brought her out of her depressive ennui. He was very curious about her, everything he'd ever known he'd gathered from what few things she had in her possession from her youth.

"I don't even know how old you are." Severus said more to himself as he tried to search his memory for what he actually knew of his own mother.

"50." Eileen said as she picked up each jar and studied their contents before replacing them.

Severus nodded, he assumed she was roughly the same age as his father, though Tobias Snape had not aged well due to his excessive drinking, and his mother being a witch aged slower and thus looked to be, albeit rather battered, mid thirty. Severus cast about for what else to ask his mother while she was feeling so chatty, he settled on the thing he'd always wondered most.

"Why did you marry my worthless father?" Severus said in a biting hiss, his disgust for the man plainly evident in his tone.

"Because I was pregnant with you; disowned, outcast and penniless." She said and she sighed and turned to face him, her eyes were unusually focused with her mind actually engaged with the present happenings around her. Observing her son, his life and interests; it had struck her how much he reminded her of herself as a youth. This had prompted her inner musings on her past that she had long suppressed.

"But why were you with him to begin with? A muggle, when it was so obviously frowned upon by your parents; did you fall in love with him?"

"I don't know." She said and she frowned. "I've wondered for years, I don't remember him." She sighed as she began to tell her story for the first time in her life.

"I was betrothed for a handful of years to a respectable wizard and we were finally going to be married, on the first week of May in 1959." Eileen began her story quietly, and Severus held transfixed greedily taking in this information he'd always longed to know.

"Only days before my wedding I woke in my bed with no memory of the night before, lying naked next to your father, having just been discovered and aroused from a groggy sleep by my parents and fiancé." His mother shook head as if trying to dismiss the painful memories, holding her head and wincing. Severus pulled up a small wooden chair for her, and then grabbed a stool for himself to sit and listen to her.

"They were furious with me; I was muddled and confused and told them I'd never seen Tobias before in my life. But then he professed his love and devotion for me right there in front of them, my fiancé denounced our betrothal, and my father and mother disowned and dismissed me from their house on the spot." Her voice quavered, and she sniffed. Severus tentatively reached out for her hand and surprisingly she grabbed onto it with force, as if to draw strength from him to finish telling the story of her shame.

"Tobias took me in to his home, here at Spinners End, and cared for me; homeless, penniless and friendless as I was. For weeks he tried to persuade me to marry him. When I finally discovered I was pregnant I agreed, and we were married the same day in the little church three blocks from here."

Severus was easily able to imagine the amount of hopelessness she would have felt being cast out from everything she had known, especially at a time when pure blood ideals had been formed from a very valid hatred toward the non-magical. Muggles at that time still frequently hunted, killed and tortured a good number of that magical generation's friends and family,especially their untrained children, and had done so for the last 500 years. Severus refocused his attention on her story as his mother continued.

"I thought I could be happy that first year, I tried to rebuild my life in the wizarding world with Tobias who was loving an affectionate at the time. Then one day he just changed. He woke up with such a fierce hatred of me, and of magic. He claimed I had duped him, and tricked him, and lied to him; used my magic on him and forced him to tie himself to me to take care of me. It was the first time he ever hurt me, and I ended up in the muggle hospital in labor and you were born the next day." Eileen patted Severus' hand still holding one of hers as she ended the tale.

It was so much information to take in that Severus was having a trouble figuring out where to start, and what more to ask her out of the billion new questions this information created. He gazed ceiling-ward his eyes roaming it sightless, as he organized his thoughts of what she'd just told him.

"Did you ever figure out what happened? Where you met father, and why you decided to sleep with him that night, and in your parents' home no less?" Severus asked trying not to be indelicate with such a loaded topic.

"No, I don't remember. The last thing I ever remember was the fitting of my wedding dress and luncheon with my mother the day before." His mother told him with a forlorn sigh. Severus scowled,

_None of this adds up! To me it sounds like she is missing memories if she can't remember an entire very vital half of a day filled with choices that changed her life irrevocably forever. _He thought, scrutinizing his mother as she leaned over his work table and flipped the pages of the battered and heavily notated potions text he had inherited from her. Severus got an idea when watching his mother look through the pile of books he'd had out researching. She picked up an inherited book titled 'Nuances of the Mind' that detailed a variety of topics, from memory charms to even a chapter dedicated to each Occlumency and Legilimency; although they were so supremely vague that he felt the author shouldn't have even bothered to include them.

"Mother, do you think someone might have Obliviated you?" He asked her.

"No, I never considered it. What difference would it have made to question why it happened? Once it had happened there was no going back, my parents wouldn't have forgiven me or taken me back. I was despicable in their eyes. They despised muggles of all kind because my eldest sister was murdered by muggles. She accidentally performed magic around them when she was just 8 years old; they beat her to death, calling her a demon." Severus nodded his understanding, but it didn't lessen his own wish to know why, so he pressed on.

"Do you know anything of Legilimency and Occlumency mother? Severus asked her, praying that she did. She turned and gave him a sharp look.

"Of course I do, it was an art created by my own ancestors and passed down through the Prince family line." Eileen scolded him haughtily. Severus felt chagrined but then turned defensive.

"How was I supposed to know that, I'm 17 and I only just learned how old you are? You've never told me anything of your family and my heritage, all that I know I've gleaned from a few of your old things I've found lying hidden away over the years." He was panting in his anger, and sneering at her, his hurt at her silent distance from him his whole life written plainly in his expression. Eileen sighed and brought a hand to her eyes as if to remove something that barred her vision.

"Severus," She began sadly. "I'm sorry, you're right. Even now I struggle with remaining present and not locked far away behind my occlusion. I've used Occlumency so heavily, for so long that it is very hard for me to focus. When you were a toddler and too big for me to keep hidden and away from your fathers abuse any longer, I taught you to use Occlumency as all the Prince children have been taught. It was the only thing I could do to protect you." She said and Severus for the first time ever heard a tone of love in her voice. He felt his chest squeeze, when she reached up and lovingly caressed the side of his face with a sad expression.

"I lost my ability to control my magic the year you were born, so I taught you how to run and hide behind your occlusion when you felt fear or pain. I never intended to become so occluded that I lost touch. It's one of the things you must be careful of; hiding behind your occlusion to escape emotional turmoil and not experience the pains of life will leave you increasingly distant and detached from that life. You begin living happily within the confines of your subconscious projections, but they aren't real. The only reason you caught my attention and brought me out of my sleepwalking state was your little lab here." She said pointing around the room he'd created.

"It's exactly like the one I have created in my mind, a place I brought you when you were a child when we were escaping from your fathers many drunken outbursts. I would take your consciousness into my mind and hold you on my hip while I showed you all the different plants and potion ingredients. It wasn't long before you could occlude very well yourself. So well that ,what little control I had over my magic wasn't sufficient for me to assist you any longer. You were about four years old then."

Eileen had begun to cry, a few tears running down her face leaving wet trails. Severus stood up from his stool and wrapped his arms around his mother holding her in a tight embrace that he had for so long wanted to give her.

"Mother, don't cry. I'm sorry I got angry with you. I didn't understand. Please talk to me some more, I have so many questions!" Severus pleaded with her he voice thick as he fought not cry as well. His heart ached for his mother in sympathy for all that she had suffered, as well as for all that he had suffered by being without her love and affection for so long.

"I'm trying Severus. I am going to teach you Legilimency, so that you can always reach me when I get lost. But first ask me your questions." She said pushing him away to look up into his face.

"Can you transfigure us a sofa, that chair should be a torture device for all its comfort." Eileen said with a smirk that was all her own but very like the one her son gave her in return. Severus transfigured the sofa to match the one that Remus had in his private study situating it to one side of the room before joining his mother on it.

They sat facing one another on opposite sides, and Eileen admired her son's creation, running her hand over the soft leather.

"It's very beautiful." She said, to which Severus smiled widely at the compliment.

"Now what did you want to know about the art?" She prompted him.

"Which one?" Severus asked, not sure if she was talking about Legilimency or Occlumency.

"There is only one art, Legilimency and Occlumency are two sides of one coin, Ut Praeesset Anima, which means: to rule the soul, and is called as a whole simply Praesum." She explained, Severus nodded his understanding and she continued, "Legilimency controls the masculine half of the soul called the animus, Occlumency controls the feminine half called the anima. I don't mean that as in the male, female physical delineation; rather masculine and feminine denote the separation of aggressive and passive actions. Legilimency is an aggressive action that causes change outside the existence of the doer, while Occlumency is a passive action that causes change within the doer's existence." She defined when saw the distasteful look Severus gave, no doubt from the thought of having half a female soul.

Severus thought over everything his mother said and felt it was rather beautiful to picture, such a harmonious concept. It caused him to consider what he knew of other magic's and how they fit into this neat little package. Then a thought occurred to him and he explained it out loud leading her through his deduction to see if he was correct.

"So then the animagus transformation is like a marriage of the masculine and the feminine of the Praesum. You have to find your anima form using Occlumency, the feminine, and then you have to use your magic, the masculine, to pull the form outside your mind and evoke the physical change." He ended excitedly as his mother nodded to him indicating he was correct.

"Wow." Was all Severus said, as he understood the implications of what such an understanding could mean for a wizard with even a small amount of power. Idea's and theories bouncing though his head already he now understood why books that explained these two arts and their intricacies were so extremely vague. He wanted to ponder this new information more but was eager to continue his conversation with his mother and learn more about who she was. He returned to what his original question was when he wondered how much she knew of the Praesum, as he was now informed they were named.

"Couldn't you use the Praesum then to uncover a memory charm?" Severus asked.

"I suppose you could, it would take some bit of effort but it seems plausible." His mother replied then sitting in thought over how one would do it. Severus seized the idea.

"We should see if there is a memory charm on your memories of that day then!" He said excitedly and Eileen frowned at the suggestion, not really sure if she wanted to know what it would uncover if they did uncover a charm.

_What difference would that make now?_ She thought.

"Severus love, it doesn't matter what really happened. It won't change anything for us to know, and I don't know if I will want to have the memories if I do find them. I'd rather we left it alone. Ask me something else you would like to know." She prompted seeing his face fall in disappointment. Severus understood her reluctance, but the mystery of it all was so fascinating he really wanted to know all of what happened and not guess at it. He sighed despondently, and then sucking in air through his teeth he remembered his next question.

"Who were you betrothed to? I was just wondering who my father might have been if it had happened differently." Severus asked picking at some lint on the knee of his trousers.

"He was a young man who was the same year as me at Hogwarts. He impressed my father and was the only person outside the family that father ever gave any instruction in the Praesum. Although from what my father says he was not very open-minded towards the whole art and only cared to learn what suited his purpose. When I showed a lack of interest in any wizard in particular after a decade of being of age, my father approached him and arranged the marriage. We were betrothed for longer than most people because he was so busy traveling the world, honing his magic, and treasure hunting for his employers Borgin and Burkes. His name was Tom Riddle." She said with a wispy tone that belied her being lost in her memories.

The sound of that name was like a freight train smashing into his face, he recoiled from his mother completely aghast, but she didn't seem to notice. He sat forward quickly to the edge of the sofa and placedhis elbows on his knee, running his hand distressfully through his hair.

He was absolutely certain that, with his mother having been intended to marry the Dark Lord himself, he needed to know what happened. It was obvious to him that Voldemort held no illusions to his being from pure blood parentage, regardless of whatever Lucius might say. He not only knew that Severus was a half-blood, but also one whose mother joined with very kind of people he despised. Or was this incident of betrayal the seed that planted Voldemort's hatred against the non-magical? He could literally be walking into a vipers pit and to his certain death by joining the Dark Lord. He had to know what had transpired on that fateful day that determined for good or ill that he was a half-blood instead of a pure blood heir to the most evil wizard of all time.

"Severus, what's wrong?" his mother asked in a voice of concern, rubbing his back to get his attention. Severus turned, seized her hands and looked at her intensely.

"Mother do you keep informed on what is going on in the wizarding world at all?" He asked though believing the answer to be no, considering her nonchalance about the matter.

"Its not necessary for me to be, it's not a part of my life anymore." She said looking rather perplexed.

"Tom Riddle, self-titled Lord Voldemort, quietly the most powerful and evil wizard of all time, with a band of pure blood supremacists calling themselves the Death Eaters, who seeks to control the whole of the wizarding world as we know it and eradicate all non magical life! That Tom Riddle?" He asked desperately hoping she will understand the implications. Eileen frowned, worried and scared of the things her son had just said.

"I- I - He was just Tom Riddle, a fellow Slytherin in my year though very popular, I didn't really know him well in school. H-he went on to work for Borgin and Burkes and frequently traveled all over the world to seek training from masters in all kinds of different magic's. That was all he was when I knew him." She finished searching Severus eyes for guidance on how that might fit with what he knew of Tom Riddle. It wasn't good. Severus was completely colorless and he whispered hoarsely as if his throat was as dry as the Sahara.

"I need to know what happened that day mother. It's extremely important; please will you help me to recover it?" Severus pleaded with her.

His mother nodded at him fearfully. Severus pulled out his wand and pointed it at her temple before whispering, "Legilimens."

Inside his mother's mind was a vast tumultuous dark ocean, with 15 foot waves rising up and crashing around belied her extreme inner turmoil. He landed in the water and struggled to stay afloat for the few moments until his mother appeared beside him in corporeal form, looking like much younger and happier version of herself even with the serious expression she bore. She grabbed his hand and they immediately appeared inside a small dungeon like room that, like she had said before, was laid out quite similarly to the lab he'd created for himself in the basement. She had shelves full of all types of ingredients and other shelves filled with books. He realized when looking closer to the jars that they were all labeled weirdly, showing the date they were gathered rather than naming their contents and they were all shelved chronologically. It was then that it dawned on him that these were her memories and the books where she stored all her knowledge. He knew instinctively not to touch anything, and he stood there waiting as she searched the shelf containing the day in question.

"It's here Severus." She said pointed to the spot on the shelf that should hold the memory they were looking for. "There is only one container for that day but for all the other days there is a whole deep row of them on the shelf." Severus joined her and looked where she was indicating but couldn't find it. Everywhere he looked he saw full rows stacked all the way to the back of the shelf. He frowned.

"What day was it? He asked looking confused.

"There" She pointed closer "April 21st, 1959." She clarified, and Severus immediately understood.

"How many containers can you see there, mother?" he asked.

"Just the one." Was her answer and Severus nodded,

"I see a full row like every other day. I assume if I cast a Finite at it that it will release the charm and you should be able to see them as well." He looked at her for confirmation, and she nodded to him apprehensively. She was very obviously terrified of learning what the memories contained. Severus materialized a corporeal wand and aimed.

"Finite Incantatum." Hearing the small gasp from his mother confirmed that she could see them now. With Shaky hands she reached forward and touched each jar, and instantly her memory was returned to her. Severus watched as she paled and then as the environment around them lost its color, making it seem as if they were in a black and white muggle film, then as she touched the last of the containers the environment went into extreme contrasts, whites becoming glaringly bright and blacks singularly dense, no gray-scale colors present any longer. He understood that she was extremely distressed, and he wanted to grab hold of her and comfort her.

"Mother? What is it? What happened?" He asked sounding fearful in his whispered tone. Eileen backed away from the shelves, her hand covering her mouth as she collapsed on to her knees on the hard stone floor.

"Tom raped me, used the dark arts ritual for gathering virginal blood. Then he brought your fath - Tobias, into my room Confunded, and forced him to drink a love potion. I was completely incapacitated the whole time; I couldn't even speak to him. He gave me a sleeping potion then aimed his wand at me to hide my memories. Then he left and I succumbed to the sleeping potion." She said her voice laced with the depth of her shock.

Severus had to physically support himself on the counter to prevent his collapse when his legs gave out.

"No! Oh Gods, no." He whispered, the weight of the truth much heavier than he expected. He was the son of Tom Riddle.

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Once Severus had gathered some of his wits, he decided to give his mother some privacy and canceled the spell. When he came back into his own body he saw that the harsh lines of her countenance seemed more severe, and the detached vacant expression she had previously always worn was staring back at him through her eyes. Severus led her upstairs to the kitchen and made her some tea, then leaving her there at the table with the company of her thoughts; he trudged up stairs into his own bedroom.

He couldn't say exactly how long he sat on his bed in shock, shaken to his very core by the information he'd just learned. He wondered if the Dark Lord suspected or knew he fathered him or if he just assumed that Severus was the son of the muggle man he'd left Eileen Prince with all those years ago.

This was something he knew he would never tell a soul about. He mused almost comically at how he wished he could go back to having Tobias Snape, cruel and abusive muggle though he was, as a father, who in this case was infinitely more desirable. He now understood the level of hate and fear his father had for wizards and magic and could almost sympathize with the cruel manipulation his life.

Severus took out the memory journal and carefully relayed the story of what he had learned from his mother that day. The book never interrupted him or interjected but just absorbed the ink into the pages until Severus indicated he was finished with his tale by asking,

"Did you know?"

"No, I never knew. I didn't change the basement into a lab until I had begun my potions mastery. By then both mother and father were dead." The book responded.

"What am I going to do about it?" Severus asked, desperate to know how to deal with the situation.

"There isn't anything you can do with the information right now. It changes nothing for where you are, the only thing you have yet to wonder is if the Dark Lord knows, and what will he do about it. If he doesn't know, I advise to keep it that way unless it becomes advantageous for you to let him know. If he knows already, then he must have also known in my timeline as well, and he never let the information out. I'm of the opinion that he doesn't know, based on his actions in my time as well as how he treated you when you met him for the recruitment. You should keep it that way." The journal concluded.

Severus agreed but felt a sadness that he would have to carry the information around in silence. _At least it will be good practice for keeping sensitive information safe. _He mused as he climbed into his bed to rest, praying to Morgana that he could have one final night of nightmare free sleep before facing his new reality with the rising of the morning sun.


	14. In Noctem, Sine Dolere Actae(11,676)

A/N:Thank you for your patience readers! I hope you enjoy this one.

Mood music: 'In Noctem' by Nicholas Hopper - second track on the HBP soundtrack. So beautiful. This chapter dedicated to the amazing feels of this song.

**CONTENT WARNING: Rated R! MATURE! For ages 17+! **

**If you are uncomfortable with descriptions of a sexual acts the chapter ends for you when you see ~*~. For everyone else. ^.^ ENJOY!  
**

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_**Carry my soul into the night  
May the stars light my way  
I glory in the sight  
As darkness takes the day**_

_'In Noctem' by Nicholas Hopper_

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**Chapter 13: In Noctem, Sine Dolore Actae!**

Severus woke before sunrise the next morning with a start, dripping with sweat and gasping for breath at the nightmare that had haunted his sleep. He quickly pushed the images from his mind pulling up his occlusion tightly, before swinging out of bed and heading to take a shower to wash the feeling of filth that permeated into his very existence. Once he'd showered and dressed he took care of his delivery route; he only had a few days left with it before he turned it over to whoever the newspaper usually hired as his replacement during the school months.

When he returned home, deliberately taking his time doing so, waiting until he knew Tobias would have left for work, he searched the house for his mother. He found her sitting with a shawl wrapped around her shoulders in the garden with a distant expression and his hopes fell.

As he turned to return back inside she called out to him.

"Severus, none of what we learned yesterday changes who you are. You are my son; the last heir of the very noble and powerful Prince line. Do not let this new information define you, do not let it control or shape your path, as I have let happen in my life. Only you choose the direction of your destiny. You are first and always a Prince." She said to him fervently, standing up from her chair and walking toward him.

"You leave for your last year of school in a few days. Let's use it to strengthen your Legilimency. Come, I want you to make that beautiful sofa again so we can sit comfortably in your lab and work. I have lots to teach you." Eileen took him by the hand and pulled him back inside the house and towards the basement.

Severus couldn't believe how much he had learned from his mother in those few days. The information gave him such a different perspective on approaching the problems that lie ahead of him. He'd shared with his mother the knowledge of his future self sending him memories. She spent a great deal of time questioning the journal about what it could share with them, doing so from many different angles that he'd not thought of before. He was truly in awe of her perceptive and shrewd mind. She looked at everything with such logical precision, and he felt a great amount of respect for her because of it.

The day to leave on the Hogwarts Express arrived and Eileen insisted that she come along with him this time to say her goodbyes. Severus was very touched by her efforts. He knew that out of self-defense she was likely to retreat back into her mind while he was away, but he hope that she wouldn't. They sat waiting for his friends to arrive, having come early so his mother could take in the sights of the wizarding world that she'd been completely absent from for so long.

"Will you write to me this year?" Severus asked her, hoping that maybe if he kept in contact she wouldn't retreat so completely.

"I will, I plan to do a little research into your uncles library and see if I can learn what happened to my magic and let you know what I find. I was wondering if you would mind if we spent the winter holiday in Hogsmede this year?" She asked him looking up at his face to see his reaction. Severus never came home from holiday, and though she understood why he wanted to be away from home, she really wanted to be able to see him more and have any opportunity to help him undertake the huge task he'd set himself.

"Yes! That would be brilliant. What about father, er... Tobias?" Severus asked awkwardly.

"I'm going to set him free of all this." She gestured around her, implying all that was magical.

Severus frowned not sure he understood.

"I have a Ministry filed marriage certificate as well as a muggle one. I'm going to request a divorce from a Ministry. Since he is muggle with no other ties to our world beyond us, they will remove his memories to assure the statute of secrecy and give him a new life and a new name. All at my expense of course." She explained. Severus was confused and asked,

"But how will you pay for that? Surely it must cost a small fortune." Before she could respond he excitedly continued, "How much is it? I will give you everything I have, but it's not much." frowning as he thougt quickly of how he migt come up with more funds to help her.

"Before I can do it we'll will have to battle the Ministry and demand they give you your full inheritance. The Prince family estates were as grand as the Malfoy's. The Ministry, knowing my separation from my family and the wizarding world, is merely trying to make us believe otherwise by claiming the family ended in financial ruin and while they absorb the Prince wealth for the current politicians to use." Eileen said with a note of anger in her voice. Severus had to admit he wasn't surprised, he knew all too well the kind of sleazy political maneuvering wealthy pure blood family's were capable of. Being in Slytherin it was a daily occurrence and fact of life.

"How will you prove it though?" Severus queried, his interest written plain on his face.

"My brother's agent sent me a letter after he died explaining the lack of a will and how only his very small amount of liquid assets would be conferred on you as his heir unless you filed a demand for the full estates as sole living heir, I'm not counted since I was disinherited. I hadn't opened it until a few days after I finally left my occlusion." She explained looking a little ashamed.

"Well that's great news, will you need me to do anything to help you?" He asked. Eileen nodded, and answered.

"Yes, since you are of age I cannot do everything as your guardian, I will get the process started and will send you a letter when the hearing is scheduled. You'll need to attend the hearing and demand the estate yourself." Severus smiled, he was glad to see his mother with a purpose.

They were then interrupted in their conversation when Regulus and Remus spotted them on the bench and approached them with some bit of shock written on their features. Severus stood and took his mother's arm, politely helping her to her feet as his friends approached.

"Mother, I'd like for you to meet my friends, Regulus Black, and Remus Lupin." He said gesturing to each in turn. "This is my mother Eileen Snape." Severus said unable to hide a little smile. _What a turn around his life had made_, he wondered and he watched his friends politely greet his mother and she in turned smiled and greeted them.

"Thank you both, for being such good friends to Severus, he's told me a lot about you in the last week." Eileen said gratefully to each boy.

Regulus, ever the charmer spoke up, "Well now we know where he gets his distinguished look of nobility, and royalty from, we are in the presence of the Queen herself, I daresay!" He jested and clutched at his chest in dramatic shock. They all laughed and Eileen took the opportunity to watch each young man, knowing that these three daringly took on the weight of changing the world, to avoid a cruel fate for all.

"I just told Severus that I'd like to spend the winter holiday in Hogsmede with him these year, please join us at your leisure for a visit when you've satisfied your own family plans and obligations, I'd love the opportunity to get to know you each more." Eileen said graciously, Regulus and Remus both happily agreed. The two friends then said their goodbyes to her as they went to stow their trunks and reserve a cabin for their group while Severus waited for Lily.

Just as they left Severus saw Lily and her family arrive and waited for them to say their goodbye to Lily and leave before he approached her and relieved her of her trunk.

"Hey Sev, it's good to see you, how-" Lily trailed off when she saw Eileen with Severus. "Mrs. Snape! Oh my, what a lovely surprise to see you!" Lily said with a forced sweetness. Lily, it seemed didn't think very highly of a mother who had neglected her son so completely over the years. Severus picked up on her tone and quickly stepped in.

"Mother, you know Lily Evans already, though you haven't seen her since my first year." Severus gave Lily a stern look and she looked a little chagrined and stuck out her hand to Eileen, who shook it amicably.

"I remember her, Severus. You've grown up so beautifully, Lily. I'm so happy to see that you and Severus are still friends." Eileen said, putting an emphasis on the word still. Eileen had gotten the impression that Lily was a wishy-washy type the first time she'd met her and seeing how she preened when complimented, she was also a bit vain. Severus was completely at a loss why the two women in his life would be at such odds, even if rather politely, he stepped in again a bit perplexed.

"It's time for us to get on the train mother. I'll look forward to your letter, be sure to keep me informed on your progress and anything I can do to help." He said then he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Eileen turned her focus to Severus and returned the sentiment with a small peck on his cheek. Brushing his hair from his eyes then straightening his tie as she said quietly, "Remember what I told you. Prince first…" Giving him a significant look until he nodded his remembrance of her full advice. "Be safe, Severus." Then she took a step away and let the two board the train, paying no mind to the curious look she received from Lily, her attention firmly on her son, and her worry for his well-being.

Severus and Lily were almost the very last to board the train and walked down the near deserted lane until they joined Remus and Regulus in the cabin they'd secured. The two boys were howling with laughter when they opened the door and Severus gave the two an inquisitive brow, questioning the source of their merriment as he lifted Lily's trunk into overhead rack.

"Oh you just missed it Severus, my brother crashed and burned in trying to ask Marlene McKinnon out for a butterbeer on the first Hogsmede weekend. She said no so fast his head spun. Good for her, she too good for him." Regulus ended rather darkly. The friend looked around at one another and shrugged before Remus changed the subject to something they were all much more curious about.

"So Severus, your mother seems like she is doing very well, did something happen? She's not at all as distant as you once described her as." he questioned delicately. Before Severus could answer Lily spoke up.

"What does she suddenly think she can make up for the last 17 years of neglect and mistreatment by taking an hour or two to bring you to the train station. I think she's using you Severus and I'd watch out for her." Severus immediately became defensive and angry at Lily.

What does she know of it, nothing. She hasn't spent any time as part of my life over the summer in a few years. He took a moment to let his anger abate turning his head away from the group to look out the window and pull up his occlusion and respond to her calmly.

"Lily, my mother has suffered from a debilitating depression for my whole life, one that has robbed her even of the ability to control her magic. You can keep your judgment's of her to yourself if you don't mind. She is still my mother." Severus said to the window with a small hint of the anger he was suppressing still coloring his tone. To this chastisement Lily bristled indignantly,

"Fine I will. But don't say I didn't warn you when she disappoints you again, Sev. I'm going to go visit Helen and Alice for bit. See you guys later." Lily huffed, and looked at both Regulus and Remus as if challenging them to disagree with her before she left, sliding the cabin door shut forcefully. Severus shot a glare at Lily's back before folding his arms and sinking into his chair sullenly. He hated that he couldn't defend his mother. He and his mother had discussed at length strategies for his plans this year and one of them was for her behind the scenes help, because nobody would expect it. He wouldn't be able to share with Lily the wonderful news of his mother's climb from her occlusive depression.

Remus and Regulus looked at each other not knowing what to say and feeling a bit uncomfortable with the awkward silence that filled the cabin. Severus sighed and sitting up straight he cast a Muffliato, before running his hands over his face and through his hair as he gathered his thoughts.

"The answer to your question Remus is, yes. I don't think I need to add that this must stay between us, I can't let this information get out to the public." The two both nodded their understanding and waited for him to continue.

"You are both somewhat proficient with Occlumency so you will understand this, where Lily never would. In essence, my mothers been hiding from her life behind her occlusion, and she'd been doing so for a very long time, since I was born, out of self-defense when she lost her ability to control her magic. Tobi- My father," He nearly slipped, "is abusive and I do not blame her for using the one thing she had left to her to get away from his cruelty." Severus sighed, this was all really personal stuff he didn't like sharing, but if his mother was going to try to help the three of them it was important that they could trust her motives and intentions. He continued,

"When she couldn't hide me away from his violent outburst any longer she taught me Occlumency to help me to cope, and give me an escape. I was proficient enough by the time I was four, since her ability to control her magic was little to none, she couldn't properly use Legilimency on me to get past my occlusions. So she withdrew and stopped leaving her occlusion entirely. I had arranged the basement into a lab for myself and upon seeing it; as it was a copy of the place she would take me in her mind when I was an infant, it brought her out from her occlusion. She has remained aware and interactive since then. She has made great efforts to further instruct me in Occlumency and Legilimency, which I have learned from her was an art pioneered by my ancestors; its secrets passed through the Prince line for hundreds of years." Severus finished his story and both friends seemed to be absorbing the information with some bit of surprise. Severus continued seeing that they didn't have anything to interject.

"She is going to try to fight for my inheritance from my uncle who she has recently learned didn't have a will in place and so the Ministry simply absorbed the Prince estates into their political pocket."

Regulus nodded sagely at this while Remus looked rather outraged.

"How can they do that, take your family's property like that?" Remus questioned, Regulus responded to him.

"There is a bylaw that state that if a wizarding family leaves no heirs their estates become property of the Ministry to ensure the statue of secrecy. The ministry then has all rights to sell or use the acquired property if they can. Because my parents have disinherited by brother I am the only remaining heir on my line, though my cousins do have a good likelihood of being able to acquire it legally. This summer my father took me to his solicitor so that in the event of all our deaths the family estate will remain intact, and the servants of the house properly looked after." Regulus explained meekly. Severus knew that there was much weighing on his mind concerning his death, having been told that in another life he died for the cause they are now backing, it was no surprise that he felt a bit maudlin about the topic. Remus seemed to be considering what he explained to them and then said with a tone of perplexity,

"Both my parents are muggleborn, you probably didn't know that, but I believe all of their property is listed with the muggle government. I wonder how that would work in their case? Neither Severus or Regulus had an answer, and the three friends sat in silence for a time lost in their own thoughts. Before Remus looked up and remembered they were talking about the latest development with Mrs. Snape.

"So your mother is going to try to get her family's estates, that is good news. What does your father think of it all? Surely it has got to make him a little happy to be moving up in the world." At the mention of his father Severus flinched and looked up at Remus, before realizing he was referring to Tobias, and he took a deep breath to calm his surging heartbeat.

"I don't believe she will tell him. She's going to divorce him, she explained that as we are his only connection to wizarding society the ministry will modify his memories and place him in a new situation. I imagine it is one of the duties performed by the muggle liaison office."

"Well it certainly would be good for her to move in a different direction in life if the man has driven her to such deep depression. Although to me, it sounds like it's much more than he deserves." Regulus said darkly and Severus nodded noncommittally. He felt a bit more sympathy towards the man knowing how drastically the man's life was altered without his consent. But he was still abusive, so Severus was certainly eager to say good riddance to the man once and for all.

For the rest of their journey the discussed a few lighter topics, Regulus seemly quite interested in what Remus had to say about having Muggle grandparents and cousins, and they listened to a few comical stories he had from their family reunions.

* * *

Lily did join her friends Helen, and Alice, who were joined shortly after by Marlene. The three girls talked of their summers and holidays, until Alice mentioned Frank Longbottom rather offhandedly being present for a family dinner.

"Wait, wait, you've invited Frank over dinner, to meet the parents, and you haven't spilled this juicy tidbit until now!" Marlene interjected causing the shy girl to blush furiously, and look to her friend Helen for support. Helen replied for her in a wistful tone,

"Oh it's much better than that, they've been engaged for half the summer. They do make such a sweet couple." Helen smiled and patted her friend on the knee.

"Alice! You never said a word!" Lily piped up in shock. Alice found her voice and stammered,

"I -I didn't want it to be a big deal and talked about all over school all year. You guys won't say anything right?" to this Marlene snorted in a rather unladylike manner,

"I don't think you need to worry that much, there are a lot of pure bloods who are betrothed by the 7th year, it's not as uncommon as you think. My mum said when she was in school she was betrothed since her 4th year, but the poor bastard died of dragon pox before they ever graduated." Then Helen spoke up nodding dreamily,

"I've been betrothed since I was eight to Xeno Lovegood, I've only met him once or twice. He's 12 years older than me so he's always away traveling, hunting down magical creatures and documenting them." All three girls looked at her in shock, mouths agape.

"Doesn't it bother you that you don't have a choice in the matter? I can wrap my head around such a thing I'd never let someone tell me who I would or wouldn't be with. But that's my muggle background speaking I guess." Lily questioned and explained, genuinely curious how Helen felt about it.

"I don't mind, I like Xeno he's very kind and sweet. And I have known for so long that I would marry him that it's just supposed to be that way, I can't imagine myself with anyone else." Helen said so matter-of-factly that it was impossible not to believe that she felt it whole heartedly.

"Awww! That is so terribly sweet Helen." Marlene cooed at her then continued crassly, "All this time I thought you were just in to witches, and up to no good in your Ravenclaw tower." She Waggled her eyebrows suggestively, watching Helen blush and then laughing heartily. Then Alice came to her friends rescue, changing the subject.

"What about you two, have you got your eye on any one bloke? I thought that you, Lily, would for sure settle on James but then you guys split before the end of the year." Alice mused, looking toward Lily innocently. Lily frowned and pouted, sitting back in her chair with a huff.

"Yes well, I would have but the arrogant prick thinks its OK to get his wand polished in dark alcoves by floozy's like Bellatrix Black anytime the fancy strikes him, and I'm supposed to just blow it off." Lily fumed. Marlene gave a commiserative tisk, and Alice only nodded thoughtfully as if she'd just place a new piece in a puzzle she was working on. Helen however, frowned and hit on something that Lily had tried to avoid admitting to herself since it had happened.

"But you can't be too upset with him? You've already shown him that the behavior is, as you say, no big deal. You were going around snogging James regularly while you were with Severus." Helen said conversationally, as if explaining why one plus one equaled two. Lily colored to an unflattering shade of red that clashed badly with her red hair, but then swallowed her outburst and huffed, looking off into the window to not have to meet their eyes as she confessed.

"You are right Helen. I don't deserve to be treated any differently than I've treated Severus." She said with a remorseful tone. "He's actually a very dedicated and devoted wizard, I'd never even consider questioning his faithfulness. Even if he's not much to look at in comparison to James, but then who isn't really. then there is his unsavory obsession with the dark arts. But he's truly honorable, a perfect gentleman. One I am very fond of." She finished sadly. Marlene cut in, for once taking the conversation seriously.

"Why not give it a go with him again then? It's as plain as day to everyone that he's still over the moon for you." She nudged Lily gently. Then Lily sat forward, her face in her hands and her long red hair cascading around her face. Marlene rubbed her back soothingly waiting for Lily to struggle through her obvious emotional turmoil.

"I'm not completely sure that I have those kinds of feelings for Severus, and I've already put him through so much the first time. I don't want to hurt him when I haven't even figured it all out yet. I do care for him, he means a great deal to me. We've been best friends for years. But I don't want to loose that on a whim that I might like him that doesn't pan out. He can be very vengeful, and I don't think he'll forgive me if I break his heart a second time." Lily confided in her three friends.

This was something that she'd fought with internally all summer. James had written her many times throughout the summer, begging forgiveness and asking to let him prove he could change, and to give them another shot. Lily avoided responding to him but she knew she wouldn't be able to avoid it any longer. She'd have to face James at some point and most likely that very day.

"So will you let James have another chance then." Alice said carefully, treading on eggshells. Lily sighed and sat up pulling her hair back over her shoulders.

"James has more than his wandering to make up for. I'm not going to put up with anymore of his bullying, if he can't prove to me he's mature enough to put boyhood squabbles aside then he can look elsewhere. I'm tired of being torn between my loyalty to my best friend and my loyalty to my boyfriend. Last year Severus really matured, surprisingly really. But he never instigated anything with James and Sirius, even though they were cruel and vicious to him all year, increasingly so when he and Remus became friends. Honestly, I think it's all Sirius anymore, James might have lashed out in jealousy over me a few times, but Sirius really has his trousers in a twist over Regulus and Remus hanging around with him." Her girlfriend listened intently to the struggles of the group. Much of the school was very familiar with the rivalry that existed between James' group and Severus, and it was a complete shock to all when Remus had a falling out with them and then took up with Severus.

"If I didn't already know that you and Snape had gone together, I'd have thought Severus and Remus were and item and that was the cause for all last year's drama. Remus might be double dipping but I don't see ol' Snape that way, he seems more of a one way or another kinda guy." Marlene observed, using her wand to charm her nails different colors absent-mindedly. Lily laughed heartily at this and Helen and Alice grinned as well.

"No, Sev is wholly and completely in to only women. Though he did say there was a bit of an awkward week last year, when Remus took a fancy for Regulus, who had to put him down hard. Apparently "double dipping", as you call it Marlene, doesn't run in the family." They all giggled flippantly, before Lily spoke again in a more serious tone.

"No but that's actually a large part I think to why Sirius is so hostile. I think it was Sirius and Remus who were rather close, and it was a nasty break up." Alice gave Lily a disbelieving look and piped up with her opinion.

"More like Sirius can't focus on anything for more then a day or two, and Remus was his convenient backup. Sirius only ever paid him any attention when he was on the outs with whoever his latest conquest was." Alice rather liked Remus sinced they'd dated briefly in their 5th year, but ended amicably as friends. Since then Alice had taken to noticing what was going on in Remus's love life, curious to see what worked out for the strange boy. Marlene cut in with a tone of indignation,

"Whoa there Alice, they can't all be as devoted as your Frank, chasing the same girl for 7 years. Besides, it makes it interesting; the challenge of keeping their attention from wandering." Marlene said with a haughty flip of her blonde hair.

Helen looked confused, "So then you do actually like Sirius? Why did you treat him like dirt earlier if you like him?" It was obvious to her she couldn't figure it out, and Marlene only giggled at her confusion before explaining.

"Men like Sirius have to have a chase, if you give in too easy they get bored and move on to chase another. I'm positive I can keep Sirius chasing and off the market for the entire year simply by treating him like his charms don't affect me. He'll be so consumed trying to figure it out that he won't think for two seconds about another girl or boy he might fancy. I'll bet my best knickers on it." The girls all looked at each other with wide grins before bursting out into raucous laughter together. Lily wiped a few mirthful tears from her eyes and said between giggles,

"Keep your knickers Marlene, I'm sure Sirius will want them as trophy if you do succeed." And they all laughed some more.

* * *

As expected Lily was cornered in the Griffindor common room by James after the Welcoming Feast. The pair was observed by her housemates Marlene and Alice; Lily with her arms folded scowling at James who was shaking his head and speaking fervently. Lily then said something to him tersely, to which he scowled deeply as if he'd swallowed something distasteful. Lily then turned on her heel to walk away but James leapt on her arm holding her in place, apparently consenting to whatever her demand was, nodding and gesturing reassuringly. Lily stopped and turned to watch him as he assured her verbosely it seemed, then with a satisfied look she flipped her hair dismissively over her shoulder and shrugged at him before walking away. James stood there with a look of deep thought, rubbing his face and ruffling his already messy hair. He rejoined his two friends on the other side of the common room, sitting down to think in silence, not responding to their attempts to draw him into conversation. Marlene and Alice shared a knowing look before Marlene leaned in to whisper in her friend's ear.

"How long do you think James can behave around Severus, my money says he doesn't last a week. Especially not with Sirius to egg him on." She said nodding toward the boys. Alice seemed to think for a bit, eyeing the boys critically then she smiled mischievously at Marlene.

"Well I think he really likes Lily a lot, so as long as you are successful in your attempts to keep Sirius distracted, I think he might end up surprising us all with his maturity. That is IF you can do it." She taunted Marlene playfully.

"Oh it's done!" Marlene said confidently, and the two girls laughed and headed up to the dorm that they shared with Lily and Mary MacDonald the only other 7th year Gryffindor girl.

The next morning at breakfast, Severus, Regulus, and Remus, were surprised and suspicious when James approached the Slytherin table with a red-faced and sullen Sirius in tow, followed by a scampering Peter who no one took notice of. James approached the end of the table the three boys sat at and stood to the side of Severus taking a deep breath before he stuck out his hand to Severus.

"What do you say we put our differences behind us this year Snape?"

Severus leaned back eying James then Sirius suspiciously, before he swung his legs out from the table and stood to face them. Regulus and Remus followed suit both inching their hands closer to their wands and watching their rivals with open distrust. Severus stood nearly a head taller than James, he folded his arms and leaned against the table crossing his legs while considering James nonchalantly. James took a step back when he'd stood up from the table, but never withdrew his hand. By now the entire room had gone silent as they observed the interaction between the most renowned group of rivals the school had. A few teachers stood up from their seats on the dais, ready to intervene should things turn south. The Headmaster watched with a calculating expression.

Severus waited to see if James would rescind his offer of truce when under scrutiny of the entire school. James colored a little and gulped, showing his nerves, but then emphasized his outstretched hand with a small jerk to get Severus to look at it. Severus didn't look down at his hand, he uncrossed his legs and faced him squarely before grasping James hand firmly.

"Very well Potter, even if its unnecessary, as I've never instigated any of our quarrels to begin with. Think you can keep your dog here on leash though?" Severus said releasing James' hand, jerking his head to the now apoplectic Sirius to his left.

"If you can keep your greasy nose in your books, you won't have to worry about me. I'll honor James' call for truce, though I don't see why scum like you deserves it." Sirius replied hotheadedly, including his brother and Remus in the last statement with a hateful look at each. Regulus grabbed Remus' arm when he saw him get angry and shook his head at him. Then the two boys dismissed them all by turning back to their seats, Remus spearing food on to his plate with more force than necessary. Sirius then turned on his heel and stomped off to the Gryffindor table passing oblivious by Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Helen who'd all stood at the door watching the interaction when they walked in.

Severus met Lily's smug expression with a raised eye brow before he moved back toward his seat. James saw Lily but didn't make a move to leave instead he turned back and looked at Severus, coloring in embarrassment again as he stumbled out the next words, loudly enough that he knew Lily could hear him.

"And I- I wanted to apologize, for my behavior to you, ganging up on you like we did. I was a bully and I admit that, I'm s-sorry Snape." Severus showed his surprise at this but wasn't able to respond as James quickly beat a path out of the hall skipping breakfast to escape the stares and embarrassment. As soon as he left the noise in the Great Hall resumed and most people were talking about what they thought of the interaction.

The headmaster seeming quite pleased, joined in discussion among the teachers about the unexpected turn of events. Every teacher who had the misfortune to have the rivals in their class expressed relief, some saying they feared the escalation would have ended in a fatal injury this year if not for James initiating the truce. Most teachers were rather oblivious to the fact that Severus was always on defense, when faced with the shear amount and viciousness of the curses and hexes that Severus retaliated with against his attackers. More than once the Marauders came out the worse for wear making it hard to believe it was four to one and not an ambush on Severus' part.

* * *

The first term of the school year passed by rather quickly for the seventh years. All seemed to feel the seriousness of life approaching with impending adulthood. Many already planning weddings, while others were tracking down letters of recommendation from their favorite teachers to submit to the university, training program, or Master they sought to join with. Alice and Frank both petitioned their teachers for recommendations for the Aurory Academy. Peter claimed that he was going to go after the Aurory Academy as well and was laughed off by his friends.

Even Marlene was seen frantically filling out her applications for university with Lily, both intent on furthering their education in charms. Sirius was the only one not taking a career seriously, jesting he'd make a career of causing heartbreak to all the single girls and boys once school ended, boasting that he'd travel the globe and be known far and wide for his roguish ways. James never mentioned anything specific, not really needing to choose a profession being from a wealthy family. He'd likely just jump into the politics of the time and invest in a few ventures. Privately his goals were all placed firmly on securing Lily as his wife.

Regulus, Remus, and Severus all already figured out what their plans where over the summer. Regulus would be heading to apprentice with a renowned curse-breaker master in Bulgaria. While Remus told everyone he'd be doing some traveling with an uncle who dabbled in magical artifacts; only his two friends knew he would actually be going to ground to try to gain entry to the werewolf community that was rumored to have headquarters in the London sewers and abandoned tube stations and tunnels.

Severus while remaining in contact with Mr. Lupin, had learned that the Potions Master he'd petitioned for an apprenticeship had agreed, pending his expected high scores from his NEWTs. He was happy to inform Lily of his career plans truthfully when asked. Lily acted surprised that he would be going onto something so prestigious, to which Severus annoyingly responded that the Lupin family had offered him a sponsorship and understanding would lit her eyes. This kind of reaction really bothered Severus so he vowed to himself that, if he and his mother were successful in gaining the entirety of the Prince Estates, he would politely decline their offer of sponsorship and pay his own way, as a matter of pride.

Severus was in regular correspondence with his mother over the months; she kept him informed on the progress she was making with the Prince estates. She'd managed to get in touch with her late brother's solicitor who was a little put out that she had waited so long to respond to his request. He was very helpful however, knowing that when successful he'd be paid handsomely, if not earn himself another wealthy client. The ministry was in no hurry to schedule a hearing for the estate dispute and Severus didn't hear from his mother that they had finally set a date until the end of November. The hearing was set during the first week of winter break which was convenient so they were not too upset at how long it had taken to get the hearing scheduled.

* * *

Much to Lily's confusion she saw Severus making nice with the other Slytherins in his house, ones that were openly hostile towards all the muggleborns in the school. She didn't say anything to him about it because she felt it hypocritical considering she'd run around with the Marauders last year when they were still bitter enemies. She was actually rather surprised at how well-behaved and mature the whole lot of them were acting. Excluding, not surprisingly, Sirius who had a case of diarrhea mouth when around his three least favorite people, spewing all kinds of hateful words that were then not even acknowledged by their intended recipients; this only furthering his rage. She admitted she was impressed with James, and had been more friendly to him, though still resisted giving off the impression she'd completely forgiven him for his interactions with Bellatrix. James remained singularly focused on proving his dedication to her, and though she'd never admit it out loud, she did enjoy the attention from him.

She however still had her eye on Severus, always wondering if he'd forgiven her, though she firmly believed that he didn't know of her running around on him with James or she was sure from his spiteful nature that he would never have talked to her again. Still she did care for Severus, he had many qualities that she admired, and she had no doubt he felt very deeply for her. What she was struggling to understand was the distance he seemed to be putting between them. Her understanding didn't dawn until early December when end of term exams were looming. She had assumed that they would start using their lab again as last year, and decided to run down and see if she could join them there in the quiet when the common room proved to be too boisterous for her ability to study.

The three friends looked up at her arrival from their perspective places about the room, with their notes and books scattered around them in a organized chaos only understood by themselves. They greeted her with muted grins and went back to their studying, and she picked out an old desk and chair, transfiguring them into a over large round stuffed ottoman and fluffy pillow. Lily took a seat in the center of it and dispersed her notes and books around her, settling in to study without interrupting anyone's work.

A few hours later, after no more conversation passed other than to ask of a page number for an assignment or opinion on proper execution of a certain spell, Remus stood and stretched while casting a Tempus charm, then informed everyone that it was time to go up for dinner.

"You go on ahead without me, I've got to run to my dorm for a book I promised to lend to Regulus before I come up." Severus attempted as an excuse. He and Regulus had been working on keeping as much distance between them and any public interactions with Lily as well as other muggleborn students. There was a large number of students seeking entry to Voldemort's circle and there was no telling what news would get back to him. Remus at the start of the year delicately suggested that Lily not attempt to sit with them at the Slytherin table. Pointing out that he was tolerated because he was not a muggleborn. Lily didn't like it but she had conceded the wisdom in it, especially once she started to see more of the violence toward muggleborns as the year progressed.

"Lily can I walk you up?" Remus asked diplomatically, going toward the door to hold it open for her. Much to their general dismay Lily wanted to have a moment to talk with Severus alone and declined saying,

"No thank you Remus, I'll just wait for Severus to run get his book while I wrap up here." Remus completely flummoxed as to how to deal with it now looked to Regulus for help.

"You can get the book after dinner Severus, let all go up together now." Regulus said, hoping that if they left in a group Remus could still have a chance to pull Lily away if they met anyone.

"Alright, let's go then." He answered.

Severus seeing there was no way out of it conceded and quickly moved for the door hoping to get ahead of Lily while she packed her things, leaving Remus behind to escort her out of the dungeons. Lily frowned at his back as he left and moved faster, shoving her books and notes in her bag sloppily.

"Sev wait up!" She called out and Remus took her bag from her offering her his arm which she ignored as she bolted from the room to catch up with Severus and Regulus. Remus chased after her,

"Hold on Lily, I need to tie my shoe." Remus attempted pretending to bend down to tie it only to have a jet of magic shot at him from Lily, and find his shoe untied then neatly re-tied for him. Growling he got up and chased after her.

Lily was nearly caught up with Severus and Regulus who were walking at an unhurried pace so as not to draw attention.

Severus heard Lily's shoes on the flagstone behind them just as he rounded the corner into corridor with the stairwell leading out of the dungeons toward the Great Hall. He came face to face with none other than Avery, Rosier, Wilkes, and Mulciber, and groaned internally at his bad luck. He already planned for how he'd have to behave in this eventuality. He could not have his loyalties come under question, and Lily seemed determined to force his hand tonight. He nodded to the group and let them walk ahead hoping to fall behind far enough to put distance between them, while Regulus appeared to accidentally drop a notebook full of loose papers providing them with proper excuse and they bent to pick them up. Just then Lily burst round the corner with a harried Remus close behind who gave them both an apologetic shrug.

"Jeez, what's the rush all the sudden guys?" Lily said loudly when she caught up with them and fell into step alongside, putting her hand on Severus shoulder for balance as she caught her breath. Her loudness caused the group of Slytherins on the stairs to look back at her. Severus jerked his arm from her grasp and stepped away from her hoping that they didn't see the contact. But Mulciber called out jeeringly,

"Better watch where you put your filthy hands mudblood, our kind doesn't take lightly to having your filth on our robes. Ask your friend Mary Macdonald." Severus moved ahead of Lily toward the stairs and Regulus followed as Remus tried to grab Lily and pull her away.

"Come on we'll go up the other way." He said quietly, trying to make it seem as if they weren't with Regulus and Severus all along. The later had begun to mount the stairs, and Lily began to understand what was happening. She put her hands on her hips and exuded her Prefect authority.

"I heard about what you did Mulciber. That was a foul, evil thing to do to Mary. Anyone who would use a finger-removing jinx on someone for bumping into them has some serious problems. You should have been expelled." She chastised him.

"No one asked your opinion you filthy mudblood whore." Avery spoke up, and Remus growled under his breath speaking forcefully to Lily, physically pushing her the other direction, putting himself between her and the hostile Slytherins.

"Come on, we're going the other way." From where Severus stood it didn't look like she was backing down and any more of a scene would only prove to make it worse. Just as Lily was about to call out to Severus, he interrupted her with a sneer and the coldest, most biting tone he could muster,

"Wise advice from your fellow Gryffindor, Evans. You'd do well to heed it." Before she could recover from her shock at his treatment of her, he turned flipping his hair behind him haughtily and ascended the stairs with Regulus in tow leaving Remus behind to push her back the other direction. The group of Slytherins laughed and followed spouting all kinds of pure blood tripe the rest of the way to the Great Hall.

Remus gave up trying to get Lily to move for the other route to the Great Hall, instead focusing on containing her there long enough for the group to find their seats before they followed.

"Remus what just happened there? Why would Severus and Regulus associate with those cruel, pure blood supremacists?" Lily questioned him when she realized he wasn't going to let her chase them down and demand an answer from Severus herself.

"Lily you know that being in Slytherin is all about politics. They've got to seem sympathetic to those ideals or life in their house will become very hard if not dangerous." Remus tried to explain evasively.

"So what, who cares what those arrogant prats think? If they don't believe in that rubbish then why would they pretend to. I don't believe they did that just to avoid getting a hard time. Severus never cared about that before." Lily kept at it, picking it apart the whole way to the Great Hall till Remus finally cut in outside the entrance to the Great Hall.

"Listen Lily, it would be best if you just stayed away from Regulus and Severus while they are around anyone else, especially if you don't want your feelings hurt. They're Slytherin." Remus gestured emphatically as if it explained everything but then saw Lily's frown and decided to spell it out for her.

"They're not going to stick their necks out for your honor in front of their housemates and have it ruin their opportunities. Both of them have an apprenticeship on the line now, and angering powerful people when you have a lot to lose is just stupid. Now come on, before we miss dinner." He ended pulling her into the Great Hall toward the Gryffindor table, he helped he into her seat then sat down himself with a hefty sigh.

James immediately got up and moved to her other side, rubbing her back soothingly when he saw her anger.

"What's wrong Lil? Remus being a twat?" He smirked at the glare that Remus sent him.

"Watch your language James. No, It's nothing I'll get over it. Just some stupid Slytherins." Lily smiled at him falsely. James got a dark look on his face and said,

"You've got to be more careful around them Lily. Sirius and I've heard the whole lot of them talking about joining this group that calls themselves Death Eaters, followers of that Voldemort bloke Sirius' parents are backing. There have been letters from a lot of concerned parents saying that there have been disappearances and even attacks on blood traitors and muggleborns alike. My Dad told me there was a muggle family near Godrics Hollow that was killed, seemly for the fun it." He spat the last few words in disgust.

Frank Longbottom leaned over from the opposite side of the table to interject,

"My parents have said Dumbledore is openly opposing Voldemort, and gathering a group of people to counter these Death Eaters. He saying that we've got a war on the rising, like back with Grindelwald. I'm going to cast my lot with Dumbledore." Frank nodded toward the Headmaster and returned to his meal.

"Have you heard anything more about Mary, will Madam Pomfrey be able to regrow her fingers?" Lily asked concerned for her roomamte since they were on the topic of cruel attacks. James shrugged eloquently, taking another bit of his food. But Alice sitting next to Frank, spoke up leaning past the people between them to keep her voice down as much as she could.

"She was moved to St. Mungos this afternoon, I escorted her mother up to our dorms to collect her things." Alice said with a grimace. "It didn't sound promising."

Lily returned to her food, only picking at it briefly before saying she wasn't hungry and excusing herself to the Griffindor common room. Severus had eaten quickly so that he could get ahead of Lily hoping to catch her on her way to bed, to explain himself. Knowing that it would be best to apologize and try to make his explanation now when most people would be still down eating dessert.

He waited just down the corridor from the Fat Lady's portrait, hiding in some shadows till he saw her coming and stepped out calling out to her.

"Lily wait! Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked stepping in front of her barring her path. Lily huffed and glared at him angrily, folding her arms across her chest.

"What is it, you can talk to me now that you don't have to pretend you don't know me for your precious little Death Eater friends?" Lily accused. Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose then dropped his hand limply not even attempting to correct her.

"Lily there's a lot going on for me that you won't understand. I don't feel that way about you or anyone like you, you know that. I just can't afford to let those people have anything negative to say about me to the very powerful people they are in touch with." Severus tried to explain vaguely, not realizing how close it came to what Remus had told her and adding to his credibility.

"Then explain it to me Severus. Why is it important for you to seem to hold their ideals when you don't? Unless you really do and you've lied to me all long. Is it such a bad thing to stand up and tell them they are wrong and uphold your beliefs, if you truly oppose their supremacist views as you claim you do." Lily accused him getting angrier with him by the second.

Severus was losing his temper, angry that it had come to this with Lily and angry that he had to keep secrets from her, but mostly angry for being in the situation at all, and because of his evil power-hungry father no less. He couldn't share any of this burden with her or get her advice and the closer and closer he came to taking up his role as Death Eater spy the more it drove a wedge between them.

"Lily please! Just trust me, OK? I won't let them hurt you, but I need them. That's all I can say, please humor me for the rest of this year, when we leave here I can't spend time with you anywhere you want. Remus can help you get to our lab and back when we study and walk you to classes. Regulus and I can't afford to right now, there is too much at stake. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but it has to be that way." Severus said grabbing her hand and pulling her back to him when she tried to leave dismissing him angrily.

Lily struggled to get away from him briefly, until he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, and then she relented and held back on to him fiercely and started crying into his chest.

"You told me when we were just kids that it didn't matter that I was muggleborn. Why has it changed?" She sobbed. Severus held her tenderly in his arms, burying his nose in her fiery red hair and inhaling her scent with a deep breath.

"It doesn't matter, not to me. But it's not safe out there anymore, it's all coming to a head an I'm trying to be ready for it all. I won't let them hurt you. None of it will change how I feel about you, I love you Lily!" At this Lily looked up at him in confusion trying to see if he was being truthful. He met her green eyes with his inky black ones resolutely declaring,

"I'll always love you."

Severus then hesitated, it was obvious how badly he wanted to kiss her but his apprehension was plainly clear on his face. So Lily wrapped her arm around his neck and pull him down as she stood on tiptoes to kiss him. It was all the encouragement he needed and he bent down and met her mouth with a passionate force, heavily insinuating his tender adoration of her with slow deliberate movements of his lips against hers.

Lily submitted to the feeling of his lips against hers and felt a blossoming aching warmth in her chest. It wasn't the breakneck passionate heat she felt with James, it was more subtle and in a way more beautiful. She admitted to herself then, that she could easily and quickly fall in love with Severus and was determined to not waste a moment in the trying. She did trust him, so she resolved that she was willing to follow his requests for caution if it meant that she could grow this relationship with him in private.

Severus poured his emotion into their embrace, desperate to prove his love and devotion to her to reinforce his standing that he was not another pure blood supremacist. He loved her, it made him ache inside to think she would come to any harm, even knowing what he knew of the supposed future, he still wanted to keep her safe more than he wanted anything. He kissed her as if it would be the last time he would ever be able to, believing that she would still end up with Potter and die despite his efforts; just as cynical as the journal. Severus resolved to enjoy this night, to live it without regret by telling her of his love for her.

He savored the moment not thinking any further on the future. His hands resting respectfully on her waist. They broke apart when they heard others coming towards the Gryffindor portrait hole and Severus pulled her the other direction back down the hall and into a deep shadowed recess. Once enveloped in darkness and away from any danger of being found; Severus backed her into the wall there, carding his fingers into her hair at the base of her skull and pressing his forehead to hers. Kissing it reverently as he held her tightly,

"Lily you are so beautiful, and you mean so much to me. I would do anything to keep you safe, and hold you like this forever." He said then he leaned down and kissed her lips again.

Lily melted into the curves of his body that held her press against the wall. Her hands roaming, she untucked his shirt and caressed the soft skin of his lower back enjoying the shivers her fingers elicited from him. Severus followed her cue trailing a light finger under her shirt and along her hips just above her pants. Lily smiled into his lips and suppressed a giggle at the ticklishly light touch then guided one of his hand higher up.

It was here that Severus felt he would not be able to turn back, he knew he would gladly take what she was seeming to offer him and he couldn't let it get out of hand, knowing he would have to keep her at arm's length publicly. Severus placed his hand on the wall beside her and took a step away from her with a sigh. He pressed his forehead into hers again when she looked up at her questioningly, the ache to continue tasting her lips nearly overwhelming him.

"Lily, I won't lie I want very much to continue, but I won't because it would be cruel for me to do so then demand a public distance between us." he took a deep breath, feeling his heart pounding against his chest as it tried to leap in to her hands, and succumb to her whims. "Thank you for this, I cherish every second, but I won't abuse our feelings by letting it get out of hand." He kissed her forehead then grabbed her hand and gallantly placed a gentle kiss there before backing away. Lily still catching her breath and trying to understand what had stopped him.

"Severus, please wait." Severus did, leaning against the wall opposite her his hand behind his back on the cold wall. The dark alcove was just a small side indent in the wall that gave way to a reading bench beneath a window, with only the bright stars to light the way. Lily spoke and the honestly in her voice evident even if the look on her face was too hard to see in the darkness.

"I trust you. If you say it's important that we not have any contact publicly I can accept that, if you can promise me - promise me Severus, that you aren't becoming one of them." Severus took a sharp intake of breath afraid that she'd seen through to his intentions, but she interpreted his reaction as taking offense, rushing on to placate him. "I'm not saying that I think you are, just promise me that you won't, please." Severus didn't know how to answer her and instead he held out his hand for her. When they stepped together he embraced her tightly saying evasively.

"I would never do anything to hurt you, Lily. I promise to do everything I can to keep you safe from them." She accepted this as his promise and looked up into his face smiling sweetly.

"And privately?" She asked, then paused looking for the right words. "You won't hide how you truly feel for me, you'll be with me?" Severus frowned at her, understanding what she meant but not liking what it implied if he accepted.

"I can't abuse you that way, if I can't be with you entirely and always, around anyone. I would never ask you to devote yourself to me. It's not fair!" He said forcefully. Lily grabbed his face in her hands forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"You are not taking or abusing anything, Severus. I'm giving my affection to you, when you can receive it." Then she smiled at him mischievously to lighten the mood. "Besides where is your sense of adventure? You know nothing gets the blood pumping better than threat of being caught." She said tiptoeing her fingers playfully up his chest then caressing his lips. Severus smiled at her playfulness then kissed her finger resting on his lips.

"Such Gryffindor behavior!" he said in a deep stern voice with mock seriousness, to which Lily chuckled deeply and leaned back in his arms to look up at him.

"Severus." She said seriously, but with a smirk written in the wrinkle of her eyes.

"Lily?" Severus replied quirking an eyebrow at her and straining to keep from smirking.

"Kiss me." She demanded. ~*~

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Severus broke into a wide grin and obliged most willingly to her command. He attacked her lips passionately this time, bending her back ward in his arms and pulling her flush against him. Her hands immediately seeking the warm soft flesh of his sides and back, ticking him lightly and urging him on in his exploration of her.

He trailed kisses down her jaw and neck, trailing a finger lightly across the neckline of her shirt. Lily took her hands off him momentarily to unbutton her shirt leaving it tantalizingly open, inviting him to delve his hands in and explore. Severus picked her up, guiding her arms around his neck and her legs about his waist. He held her up with one hand on her buttocks and pressed her into the wall, holding her nearly waist length hair aside with his other hand while he trailed tender kisses along her collarbone tasting the sweetness of her skin. Timidly, he let go of her hair as his kisses neared her breasts. He lightly traced circles on the outside of her bra before with a slight tremor, he closed his entire hand over her soft mound, cupping it with the reverence born of his innocence.

"Sev'rus." Lily moaned in his ear, her hands buried deep in his long black tresses urging him on. She expertly angled her hips against his seeking contact of his hardness against her hot core. Severus made a sort of gasping choked sound and shuddered pushing himself against the amazing feeling of her softness pressed against his hard ache.

"Lily." Severus said his voice gravely and choked with his passion. "Not here. I want to see you fully, t-to do it right, not in some dark corner." He said thickly his fear that she'd change her mind and call it off hung at the edges of his voice, in a sound of almost pleading desperation.

"I know just the place then." Lily said putting her legs down and buttoning her shirt hurriedly. Severus stepped back looking worried that he'd just lost the moment he'd dreamt of for years.

Lily oblivious to his insecurity grabbed his hand and peeked out the alcove making sure the way was clear before darting down the corridor with Severus in tow awkwardly. They didn't have far to go before Severus realized where she was headed. Severus took charge when they got to the tapestry. He paced back and forth focusing on what they needed specifically.

The door appeared and he pounced on it as if it would disappear, opening it and allowing Lily to go in before him. He followed her in and shut the door and watched as it melted back into the stone. Before he could take in the room Lily was in front of him helping him remove his robes, and he instantly had only eyes for her.

Once he was standing in only his trousers and in her bra and knickers he couldn't help himself he had to touch her. He gathered her into his arms reveling in the feel of her warm bare skin against him as he kissed her. He trailed his tongue across her lip requesting further entrance, Lily opened to him and their tongues tangled, her breath hot, and sweet in his mouth. He held both sides of her face reveling in the intimacy of the new sensation of her tongue on his. Then he slowly guided her backwards to where he'd briefly acknowledged sat a beautifully large, pillowed bed.

Lily's hand worked at his belt and pants to remove them as they moved, her hand cupping his hardness occasionally, causing him to gasp and jerk in surprise at the intensity of the passion that flared in him when she held him there. He followed her cues, helping her out of her last remaining coverings and stepping out of his own when she pushed them down. He delicately guided her to the bed behind her, taking in the sight of her bared, naked body so beautifully laid out before him as she looked back at him with a passionate fire in her eyes.

He leaned into her grasping her breasts and kissing each in turn with reverence, trailing his fingers down her sides and then her thighs as he took in the sight of her glistening folds. He wrapped one arm around her lower back to help angle her hips to receive him, connecting his lips with hers, kissing her tenderly as he slowly guided his hard length into her hot center. He took her slowly letting her get used to his size, listening to her soft gasps and moans and waiting for her urging before moving on, and deeper.

Once he was pressed into her fully, she pushed her hips into him, gyrating to gain friction on her bundle of nerves. Severus followed her cues and rocked with her slowly gaining speed. Then he reached down with one hand and pressed and rubbed on her swollen nub, eliciting louder cries from her as she became lost in the passion of their coupling, calling out his name pleadingly.

"Severus, please, yes!"

She would moan when he got the movement of his hips and fingers just right. Hearing her begging with his name on her lips was his undoing, and he quickened his pace, feeling the aching pressure building deep within him. Still using one hand on her clit to push her over the edge, he grabbed her bouncing breast in front of him with his other hand, teasing at the small, light pink, taut nipple there.

When she cried out his name again hailing her arrival, falling into her full-blown moments of ecstasy; he couldn't hold back the pressure any longer and he released. Feeling the swells of his own ecstasy crashing over him in waves of pleasure, each stronger than the last as his groin muscles spasmed his finish, deep into her heated and pulsing core.

He leaned into her kissing her tenderly, holding himself deep in the welcoming warmth of her still shuddering depths. He then lay down beside her pulling her in his arms, and against his hard chest. He reveled in the silken feeling of her hair in his hands and the soft creamy flesh of her side as he caressed her until they both drifted to sleep; comfortable in each others loving arms, no cares but for the love they shared this beautiful and unforgettable night.

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**_Sing a song, a song of life  
Lived without regret  
Tell the ones, the ones I loved  
I never will forget. Never will forget._ **


	15. Duels,Duals,and Family Jewels(8,689)

A/N: This chapter is a day late and I apologize it's been rather hectic with the last days of school looming for my kids. I'm particularly tired so if I've missed any thing that needs to be fixed grammar wise, etc. Plus send me a Pm and point them out. Thank you for all the reviews and lovely conversations and thoughts Many were very helpful and ALL are greatly appreciated.**  
**

Mood Music: 'Disconnected' by Pegboard Nerds - Monstercat 007 - Solace

**No Content Warnings**

Disclaimer: Harry Potter Right are sole property of JKR and WB - Thus anything you recognize is Not Mine, No Money is made for telling this story.

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**Chapter 14: Duels, Duals, and Family Jewels**

The final week of term seemed to fly by at a reckless pace. The seventh year NEWT Potions class poured into the corridor having just completed a grueling practical exam. Much to Severus' annoyance it left his hair more greasy and lank than ever from hovering over the putrid fumes of the Snarflex potion. It was a particularly corrosive potion created to remove the pervasive fungal scale decay that was known to plague dragons from wet climates. Slughorn had not intended anyone to actually finish the brew, only using it as a test of all the skills they would be graded on for the term.

The variety of chopping, dicing, mincing and crushing methods for ingredient preparation. Then the stewing, basting and glazing of others; including the rather rare method of searing where the leeches are placed on a hot bare cauldron bottom and turned to sear all sides before removing and shredding them. It truly was a very diverse potion that utilized all the various methods important to proper skilled brewing; and it left Severus feeling very satisfied with the mastery he'd shown on the practical.

He was the only one in the class to have finished the potion let alone to have made it correctly; and he was flattering himself in believing it worthy of being sold for a fairly decent sum. Slughorn was so thrilled with the success he told Severus to bottle the entire thing, stating that he would be in touch when he'd found a buyer for the complicated potion with a sparkling of greedy excitement in his watery eyes.

Lily true to her word kept her distance from Severus publicly, so when she discretely whispered to him as she walked past his desk while he was still clearing up his workstation, he was a bit surprised and nervous.

"Follow my lead." She'd whispered. She then hovered near where Helen was also still clearing her supplies, seeming to be waiting for him. Severus quickly finished his task and then moved for the door noticing from the corner of his eye that Lily made for the door at the exact moment he did. Normally he'd be a gentleman and allow her through first, but then he saw that most of the class was gathering outside in the corridor to discuss holiday plans; among them were Wilkes, Rosier, and surprisingly Lucius Malfoy.

Severus tensed and habitually checked that his occlusion was at full strength, before plowing through the doorway showing absolute disregard for any gentlemanly deference towards Lily, cutting around her rudely. Lily shouldered herself through at the same time pushing her bony shoulder hard into his chest. Severus recoiled dramatically into the door frame before following her into the hall, rubbing legitimately at the now bruising pectoral muscle.

"Watch it Evans!" Severus hissed at her.

"Or what, Snape?" Lily rounded on him with ferocity, "Are you going to use dark magic on me like Mulciber did to Mary? Go on then, just try it!" She taunted him backing down the left side of the hall to give them dueling room. Their observers scattered down either side to avoid what was obviously escalating into a full-blown duel. Their intended audience; Wilkes, Rosier, and Malfoy, backing up behind Severus only a little ways away and standing defensively and thankfully not drawing wands to aid him. Yet.

_She doesn't really expect me to attack her does she_? He thought incredulously, thinking quickly for a way out. Lily had her wand pointed at him and was taking up a dueling stance with her long blazing hair hanging wildly about her. Severus looked at her sideways with a slight tilt to his head appraising the situation, looking her up and down with a disgusted sneer on his lips; his wand still undrawn, but ready to be brandished in half an instant.

"You are not worth the effort, Evans." He replied, haughtily flipping his greasy locks over his left shoulder as he squared off to her. Lily put on a face of rage and hurt, calling back to him accusingly,

"I made excuses for you for years! No one else understood why I even talked to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends, all so eager to join V-. You know who!" She stumbled whether it was because she didn't really know the megalomaniac's self-proclaimed name or because she truly feared him, he wasn't sure but the effect was perfect drawing a gasp from the audience at her accusation. Severus didn't respond to her only taking on a more vicious sneer, baring his teeth at her in anger, and pulling his wand out with a jerky force that implied his distaste for lowering himself to her level, pointing it at her chest as he took his dueling stance.

_She really is pushing this to a duel! What is she thinking? I don't want to injure her? But how can I attack her and be sure that she'll remain unharmed? How do I keep the others from interfering? Where the hell is Slughorn, why hasn't he stepped in?_ Severus fretted, looking back to the classroom door discretely for the missing professor. Behind his occlusion he was frantically searching through his options. Until he finally struck on something that he thought might be subtle enough to work, hoping that the time he spent practicing with his mother before term would prove fruitful.

Lily, seeing Severus finally escalating as she'd wanted him to, continued with her diatribe.

"You don't even deny it! You've made your decision then?" She asked with a desperation that told their spectators she had still hoped she was wrong about him. Severus answered with a deliberately spoken and enunciated,

"Sectum Sempra!" With a miniscule sideways flick, causing a sizeable chunk of her gorgeous red hair to fall, with a faint whispering flop, to her feet. The wand movement was followed by a unperceivable clockwise half twist of his wand, and the nonverbal incanting of 'Legilimens'; opening the Iter, the mental pathway, between them as he'd learned from his mother. While Lily was grasping at her hair with a look of genuine shock and rage; he projected his voice mentally through the Iter commanding,

_Lily, use 'Protego Totalum' to lock them out, quickly_! Then while still smirking at her shock he outwardly drawled,

"A mere taste Evans, of my own brand of dark magic. Allow me to cut your copious self-righteous ego down to size at last. Please?" He quirked a brow at her, baring his crooked teeth in a sadistic twisted leer that twitched occasionally into a suppressed grimace of gritting teeth. Severus was having a hard time focusing with the unending stream of her thoughts shouting thunderously through the Iter he'd left open to communicate with her.

_Sev? how's he doing that, his lips didn't even move? _

_Did he just legilimize me? is that even a word legilimize? Legili ... Mense...Hmm...no. _

_That wretch! He is going to pay for cutting my hair! *sobs* My hair! _

_Wait a minute ….is he poking around in my he - SEVERUS ARE YOU POKING AROUND IN MY HEAD!_ Lily's thoughts screamed at him causing him to wince slightly.

_Gods woman! Are you trying to explode my head? Keep it to a dull roar! No, I can only hear the thoughts that you are projecting. Cast the spell before someone jumps in and messes up this brilliantly thought out scheme of yours._ Severus growled back at her ending the torrent of her broadcasted internal dialog. Then he looked around them to their audience catching sight of a few more joining those already gathered; an outraged James with an equally livid Sirius in tow, pushing through the throng to get to the pair facing off. He sneered out loud, a mere beat after he'd finished his last taunt.

"Or perhaps you'll need to call for back up before you finish what you started, like a true spineless Gryffindor." Throwing the barbed insult out with a toss of his head indicating Potter and Black behind her.

_Incoming!_ He said spurring her into action.

"Protego Totalum! This is between you and me Snape." Lily shouted looking behind her briefly and seeing James and Sirius bump in to her shield with a reverberating, 'Thunk!'

_Give me your worst, make it believable._ Severus instructed her.

"You just can't wait to join him, can you? Your beloved Dark Lord! You've made your choice. Fine then, I've made mine!" She said her face twisted in fury and she began hurling spells at him deftly. Her words and actions making it clear to all observers that they were officially bitter enemies.

Whether she knew it or not Severus wasn't sure; but Lily would call out each of her spells mentally moments before she cast, this gave him ample time to counter everything she threw at him with ease. He had the passing thought of using this level of Legilimency by default in duels, it certainly gave quite an advantage on the few extra moments of notice he had to counter each spell.

He and Lily circled each other as the dueled, he deflected, transformed, or ricocheted each spell she cast with ease, causing a general murmuring among the crowd who stood safely out of danger outside the magical barrier. James stood angrily outside the barrier looking nearly murderous, having sent Sirius off to get Dumbledore to step in and end the fight.

Lily seemed to get a little bit angry verging on embarrassed that she couldn't land a single spell on Severus and appeared to have figured out on that she was still projecting her voice through the Iter. She cast a powerful non-verbal 'Inflamarae' at him that she didn't announce first through the Iter. It caught Severus by surprise, having slackened his vigilance on reading queues in her body language by relying too much on her projected thoughts. His slow response left him no time to get up a proper 'Protego' with his arm flung wide from his last spell deflection, the wide slashing arc of fire she whipped at him was such that one way or another she would hit him with a portion of the spell unless he managed to jump over it.

_Or Fly._

He reacted instantly to the thought, grasping on to his animagus transformation. Only instead of picturing his raven form he forced the transformation into a smoky cloud like form that coalesced occasionally to form flocks of flapping black raven wings before dispersing back into a whipping, trailing smoke. Transformed; he darted upwards, barely avoiding the whip of fire, sure that he had been singed at the edges. Then he dipped and zipped about dodging as she whipped the firey rope after him trying to catch him. Lily stared at the curious inky shapeless form that he was with a frown of increasing confusion that slowed her movements. Severus flew directly over her then ended the transformation, landing behind her before she could turn around. He grabbed her arm and wrapped his arm around her while forcing her wand to aim at her own throat. His own wand in his left hand, held down non threatening to his side. He leaned in and whispered in her ear left bare of hair from his first attack, speaking to where only she could hear, but with a lascivious sneer on his face that implied he said something much more repugnant.

"That could have been disastrous, no more bright ideas, if you please." Then Severus whispered a finite in her ear so that she would know he'd ended the Legilimency. Just then the Headmasters voice rang out,

"What's the meaning of this?" Dumbledore demanded.

Seeing the shield charm he pointed his wand at it, "Partus Temporus" He incanted, stepping through the opening in the shield that closed quickly behind him.

"Mr. Snape unhand Ms. Evans, the two of you explain yourselves." Severus pushed Lily away from him with just enough force to make her stumble a little. Lily shot a glare at him, stowing her wand away, then looked at the Headmaster with a repentant expression.

Lucius Malfoy stepped forward, "Headmaster, If I may I saw the whole ordeal, as I was on my way to pay a visit to Professor Slughorn. Mr. Snape merely defended himself against both verbal and magical attacks from Ms. Evans. I would have stepped in immediately but as you see," He indicated the shield that was still up, "Ms. Evans was intent on causing harm to this poor lad, and his restraint was admirable." Lucius added. As he drew breath to continue, Dumbledore cut him off, dismissing the shield with a wave of his hand.

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy, I'm sure as a new governor to the school you have many things to attend to and i would not want to further waste your time. Ah! Here comes Horace now. I can handle this little disagreement from here." Dismissed, Lucius gave a gracious bow of his head and turned to leave, sending Severus a pointed questioning look.

"That goes for the rest of you as well. Surely on the last day of term, with no more classes, you all are just bursting to get out of doors into the lovely weather. Now, move along." Dumbledore said to the crowd gathered who muttered about him being barmy for calling the blizzard that was raging outside lovely. The students all dispersed talking animatedly of everything they had seen, the topic that was being bandied about most was the last and most impressive display by Severus.

"Did you see that? He flew!" said one.

"He turned into some black winged thing?" someone else answered. Severus listened intently to the rest of the mutterings when another person interjected,

"It was a Bat, or a flock of bats." Then another interjected saying,

"He's a bloody dungeon bat! A dark wizard if ever there was one!" They finally drifted out of hearing range and Severus was relived that no one had figured out his Raven form.

Though to be honest he didn't take a form at all. He'd initially come up with the idea when he first learned of Praesum and their involvement in the animagus transformation. He'd simply altered the process some to fit what form he wanted. The only things that came to mind in the heat of the moment were, a cloud of ninja smoke he'd seen used in muggle films and cartoons, and a wish to fly.

_It would certainly call for further exploration and experimentation._ He thought before his attention was dragged back to Dumbledore who was now addressing them in the empty dungeon corridor.

"I had hoped that you were the agent behind Mr. Potter's call for truce earlier this year, Ms. Evans. I'll admit I'm quite shocked that you of all people would attack Mr. Snape, or any student." Dumbledore said, the tone of disappointment heavy in his voice caused Lily to wilt under his gaze. Severus decided to speak up, it was about time for him to tell the Headmaster of what was going on and form their partnership officially anyway. It might as well be now before Lily suffered any lasting repercussions for her ridiculously Gryffindor idea.

"Headmaster, sir? Might I request that we have a private audience with you on these matters?" Severus asked giving him a deadpan expression and locking his occlusion down tighter than he'd ever done before. He knew from the journal that Dumbledore was rather adept at empath Legilimency and that his personal brand of it was particularly hard to detect.

Dumbledore eyed him momentarily and Severus felt the faint nudging brush his mental senses. He knew he's successfully blocked him, when Dumbledore frowned almost imperceptibly before he turned up the hall, to lead them to his office.

"Very well, this way children."

Lily seemed consumed with self flagellating thoughts as she twisted her hands in display of her extreme anxiety. Severus covertly ran a finger down her arm, as he stood a little behind her on the spiral stairs leading to the Headmasters office, giving her a reassuring look when she looked back at him.

"Please have a seat." The headmaster indicated two chairs in front of his large desk. He then took notice of the strange act of Severus pulling Lily's chair out for her, before Severus took his own seat. This caused Dumbledore to pause in thought for a moment before he realized they were staring at him. He remembered himself and slid a glass bowl on his desks towards them.

"Lemon drop?" He offered, Lily thanked him and took one popping it into her mouth, Severus noticed a loss of tension in her posture and when the headmaster slid the bowl within his reach he graciously declined. "No thank you, sir."

_Laced with a calming draught? I'd rather not take the chance._ He thought. Dumbledore replaced the bowl and folded his hand before him on his desk then he looked expectantly at Severus for a moment before prompting,

"Well, Mr. Snape?"

"Sir, Lily and I, we were not really intent on hurting each other. It was just a bit of show." Severus explained. He felt Dumbledore's nudge at his mind and he allowed a single thought to drift through his occlusion to Dumbledore's prying.

_Lily was covering for me in front of the other Slytherins, I need to talk to you privately_. He pushed. He knew the message was received judging be the perplexed but piercing look the Headmaster pinned him with as straightened in his chair; looking back and forth between Lily and Severus appraisingly.

"Ms. Evans? Is that all this was, a bit of show?" he questioned, it was obvious to Severus that he was getting much more information on the entire course of events, and who knew what else that Lily was thinking about. Lily only nodded emphatically at him not able to say much with a mouthful of lemon drop.

"Very well, you may go Ms. Evans. Mr. Snape if you would be so kind, I'd like to hear more about your successful batch of Snarflex from earlier. I was summoned from receiving the news from Professor Slughorn to break up your bit of 'entertainment'." Severus nodded at him, acknowledging Dumbledore's attempt to hide that he had read his mind. He stood to the side of his chair pulling Lily's chair out for her.

"However I will remind you both that quarreling in the halls, even when staged, is not permitted. I expect a better example from two bright seventh years as yourselves for the younger student body. See to it this doesn't happen again." He chastised as Lily stood from her chair to leave.

"Ms. Evans, I expect you to make sure the truce between your rivaling friends is still in tact, I would not want this display of showmanship to have changed that, please be sure of it." He said as she reached the door.

"Yes Headmaster." Lily replied obediently giving him a small curtsy and hurrying from the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Once they were alone Dumbledore studied Severus for a few minutes, or he appeared to be. Severus however felt his efforts to graze a few more thoughts from him. It was almost amusing the first time that he realized he kept the Headmaster out with ease, but it quickly began to annoy him. He gave Dumbledore a bit of a mental shove the next time he felt the attempted intrusion, which he'd learned from his mother. The result felt like someone snapping a rubber-band on your brain and left behind for a few moments after, what felt like a little jiggle in the tissue from the reverberations of the force. It was a bit disorienting.

"Sir, might it be better to just ask me what it is you want to know?" Severus growled at him.

"Forgive me Mr. Snape. It's quite uncommon to meet such a successful Occlumen as yourself. My curiosity for your talent has run away with my manners." The old wizard apologized as he shook his head as if to clear away his thoughts.

"Indeed." Severus deadpanned impertinently. Dumbledore smiled widely at him with a twinkle in his blue eyes, as he sat back in his chair with a small amount of gleeful wonder on his face.

"Do tell me then what it is that you needed to discuss with me."

"I want to join the Order of the Phoenix." Severus said remaining expressionless, and successfully moving the conversation from the topic of his Occlumency. This was apparently the last thing the aged wizard expected for his face immediately went very serious.

"It's not an organization that accepts anyone or everyone wishing to join. The Oder is a group of people who stand on the right side of a the growing dispute over blood purity." He paused eying Severus incredulously.

"Our society is teetering on war and this is what you wish to talk to me about? You, a boy of 17, still in school I might add. You will forgive me, but I had thought that you were sympathetic to Tom Riddle's movement." Dumbledore stated with a cold and knife-edged tone.

"I intended for it to appear that way, sir. You see, I wish to become a spy for the Order, to do so by joining the Death Eater ranks and reporting to you information that will prove vital to our success in defeating Tom Riddle and his movement." Severus explained.

"Forgive me my boy for questioning your motives, but you must see I have no reason to trust your word in this matter. What proof can you give me that you aren't just doing the reverse for Tom?" He questioned astutely. Severus considered for a moment before he began his long explanation,

"I have received information from the future that details the entire nature of this war as it was fought for 20 years until we failed miserably. In the year 1998, I despaired over the losses we incurred and the fall of wizarding Britain in to the most evil wizard of all time. I managed to locate a time turner and compiled a collection of memories containing information that could, when considered, turn the tides of the war back in our favor. The information then appeared me in this time, in August 1976. My future self hoped to guide me toward changing forever that cruel fate from whence the information came." Severus paused a moment before rubbing his hand across his face trying to think of what could validate his claims.

"The information is in a chest, heavily warded to only my magical signature. The majority of the information is secured under a time-lock charm, not allowing me to view and know all the information at once. My future counterpart also enchanted a journal embedded with copies of his memories and personality. It has been through the journals guidance that I have sought this path. If you would like I can go fetch it for you now." Severus concluded. Dumbledore's countenanced paled and his age seemed to overtake his normally cheerful gusto.

"Where is it?" He croaked, asking as if almost afraid to know.

"In a small wooden chest inside my school trunk." With that Dumbledore summoned a house elf, and gave it instructions to retrieve the chest for them, and a moment later the little elf popped back into existence with the chest hovering in front of it.

"Here's you'se are Headmaster. Dilly cannot touch the Headmasters chest, his wards are preventing me sir. But Dilly is able to hover it sir." Dilly explained as he slowly hovered the chest to the desk as indicated by the Headmaster. Dumbledore seemed taken aback by what the elf had said.

"What can you tell me of the nature of the wards on it Dilly, and why they were able to enter the castle's perimeter wards at all?" He questioned the little elf.

"They is specific inclusion wards sir, that only allow access to the wizard who cast the ward. They is allowed past the castle wards because they is cast by you Headmaster." The elf said looking at Dumbledore as if he'd lost a few marbles for having forgot he owned the chest.

"Thank you Dilly, that will be all." He dismissed the elf with a wan smile and turned to Severus who was giving him a questioning expression.

"Wards as you know are a particular branch of Ley magic, the magic that house elves can intrinsically command and, as I assume, even visibly see. They are dreadfully useful to have around in such cases, as they can see the magical relationships within wards that can not be learned otherwise." He considered the chest before him leaning over his desk to more closely examine the time-tuner embedded on its surface.

"Dilly has confirmed that the wards are keyed to a magical signature, but then curiously said that they were cast by myself. You have, I assume, opened this chest before?" He explained and questioned as he sought to get to the bottom of the mystery. Severus nodded and stepped forward with out prompting, placing his hand on either side of the lid the latch unlocked itself allowing him to open the lid.

"Yes, I see. That is what I thought, I do not think however I will have the same luck. I'm liable to receive a nasty shock if I were to attempt the same. See here." Dumbledore then demonstrated pulling a single long silver hair from his beard and hovering it over to the chest. When it came close the hair sparked and then curled onto itself, vanishing in a puff of smoke leaving the acrid smell of burnt hair in the air.

"As I thought. Which can only mean that your future self became my predecessor, Headmaster of Hogwarts, which is the only way this chest would have made it past the schools protective barriers." Dumbledore explained his reasoning. Severus thought it was rather unbelievable that he would have become headmaster by the age of 38 when the youngest headmaster to have taken up the post that he's known of was barely under 100.

"I am not aware of that information sir. We could find out if the journal can tell us anymore." Severus offered, and Dumbledore waved him on with an eager expression. Grabbing the journal and Dicta-Quill from on top the velvet covering where he kept them, he pushed the chest back to give him more space, and set the journal and quill up to start writing.

"Events have forced me to inform Dumbledore ahead of schedule, and we have some questions for you." Severus stated, the quill inscribing the words as he spoke.

"Very well boy, but I expect a full explanation of events later. Albus, what is it you wish to know?" The spiky words appeared on the page. Dumbledore's face become expressionless before he spoke.

"What is your name, and the nature of our relationship that we are on such informal terms?" he asked.

"My name is Severus Tobias Snape sole surviving heir of the Prince family, previously Hogwarts Professor for 17 years, and I was your successor as Headmaster. I'm known to yourself and the Order as a double agent, spying on the Dark Lord for the Order as a member of his inner circle of Death Eaters. Because of all this you and I were very close, does that answer all of your questions Albus?"

The book explained, illuminating what Dumbledore had surmised.

"And what can you tell me to convince me of this truth?" Dumbledore asked, ever the skeptic. And the spiky script began to appear on the page once more in reply.

"You have a brand on your inner arm of the Deathly Hallows, given to you by Gellert Grindlewald in your youth. Grindlewald was the last man you ever loved. And lastly your greatest secret is that you know where two of the three artifacts are right now."

These answers seemed to have struck a chord, for Dumbledore very slowly sat in his chair. He looked to Severus with an expression of abject sadness, giving him a wan smile before holding out his wand arm and pulling back his sleeve to reveal the faint shiny outline of a cat's-eye shape enclosed in a triangle. Severus assumed this was what the book had meant by the Deathly Hallows.

"A symbol of my greatest regrets and flaws, serving as a daily reminder of what evil comes with the pursuit of power." He said remorsefully before he continued, the Dicta-Quill still recording his every word.

"Very well Severus, what would you have the young Mr. Snape do? Surely you know the dangerous task you are asking him to undertake, why would you have yourself do the same thing again?" Dumbledore asked with a weary curiosity.

"He has the benefit of choosing this path for the right reasons from the beginning. He has already changed much of his situation and his preconceptions due to the information I've given him. He is more pure of heart than I was. I sought power, and recognition and received it from the only people who took notice of me. I joined the Dark Lord willingly; woefully ignorant of the consequences of my actions. I then defected to the Order, in exchange for your help to protect those I loved from the evil. The boy can offer the same advantage to you again, and this time he is doing it without losing a piece of his innocence and purity of soul as I did." Dumbledore's expression was that of extreme sympathy. It was clear to Severus that what the book told him was exactly what the Headmaster needed to hear. Dumbledore identified with the Severus in the journal; with the regrets of their youthful misdeeds weighing heavily on them both, and the palpable desire to make amends that was shared between them, formed a bond of trust in the journal Severus' intentions.

Severus waited for the Headmaster to finish asking his questions of the book on the current situation, before putting the items back in the chest, watching it lock once the lid closed. Dumbledore was deep in thought but then looked up at Severus at the quiet snap of the lock into place, remembering he still had company.

"Severus my boy, I feel I know you so much and yet so little. I'm sure familiarity will come with time. For now I feel it is best if you and Mr. Black's true loyalties remain secret. The less people that know the truth the safer you are from discovery. I don't think it is necessary yet to reveal either of you to the Order. " Dumbledore explained, then with a dismissive gesture said, "Mr. Lupin may come to me whenever he is ready to and I will have him introduced among our ranks." He heaved a heavy sigh and met Severus's eyes showing a deep honesty in his piercing light blue gaze.

"I must admit I am not keen on having such young precious lives at stake, fighting on the front lines of war. But I will accept what help you are offering gratefully, and I will do my best to support your efforts in return for your sacrifices for our cause." The Headmaster promised thereby ending their meeting. He gestured towards the door and said,

"Dinner has proceeded without us but if we hurry we might be able to catch a nibble before they bring out the dessert. Run along, and remember to keep me informed when you lean anything new." Severus reached to grab the chest but Dumbledore was ahead of him, calling out for the house elf from before, who subsequently arrived with a pop wiping flour from his hands on an apron.

"Headmaster is needing something?" The small elf asked with expectant wide eyes.

"Please return Mr. Snape's chest to his school trunk, where you found it. Thank you Dilly." The little elf nodded and as before hovered the chest before popping out of existence with it.

In the Great Hall Severus saw Lily with a group of Gryffindors huddled about her, James and Sirius sitting the closest to her like Sentinels. It appeared that she'd been successful in keeping the peace as Dumbledore demanded, but it certainly didn't stop the seething looks of hatred he received for his knew status as an accused Death Eater aspirant. Not that he cared what the Gryffindors thought about it.

What was important was that it at least helped his standing among the Slytherins. Judging by the looked he received from many of his housemates He was pretty sure he had some added respect for his magical abilities as well as some increased sense of brotherhood from those students who were also seeking the Death Eater ranks.

Regulus caught his eye and motioned for him to join where he was sitting on the far end of the room near the head table. When Severus sat down he was sad to see the dinner food disappear to be replaced with sweets. Regulus gave a hearty chuckle at his dejected expression and pushed a plate piled with dinner food toward him.

"Here, I set it aside you since I wasn't sure if the Headmaster would let you out in time. Rumor has it that you worked up quite an appetite down in the dungeons today." Regulus gave him a serious look, and then looked around them to see if anyone was watching before casting a 'Muffliato'. Severus leaned forward hovering over his food, and talking to his plate.

"Lily's bright idea to make a scene displaying our permanent falling out, resulting in me having to tell the Headmaster ahead of time." Severus said tersely before shoveling food into his mouth, and then melting with pleasure at the savory flavors inside his mouth, he loved roast duck a l'orange.

"Wait, you said that you explained the situation to her? I thought you guys had it all worked out and were good. I even thought maybe you were seeing her again, just you know, being mum about it." Regulus muttered in utter perplexity. Severus gave him an appraising look, wondering how obvious he was being even keeping his relationship private.

"No, you are right. She thought it would throw them off the scent I suppose if we had a very public falling out. It was her plan to put on a show and it nearly backfired in her face. But I think it worked." Severus said a touch of amazement in his tone. Regulus left it be and focused on his dessert, he felt he should at some point warn Severus about his dealings with Lily, and their repercussions. He just didn't know how.

All in all Severus had never thought to actually include Lily in reinforcing his cover. Mostly because if she drew any attention to herself her mind was an open book ripe for the picking of any piece of information she had on him. The thoughts made him sad, knowing that he would have to lie to her, go behind her back, and let her believe the worst in him if it came down to that.

Right now he was duping her under the pretext of trying to keep his career as a potions master intact. But once school was out he didn't know how he would keep evading her on his friendly relations and dealings with her enemies. He decided that his only option was to see if his mother knew a way that he could help protect Lily's mind. Maybe she knew of a method to teach someone who didn't have the innate sense of the Praesum.

* * *

The next day was the beginning of winter break Severus watched as students trekked through the snow to the carriages that would take them to the train and home to their families for the holidays. Severus had asked Lily if she'd stop in for new years and stay in Hogsmede for the last days of the winter break. Wanting to spend time with her and also wanting to see if he and his mother could help her with Occlumency, she hadn't made any guarantees but he still held out hope that she would join them.

As the lunch hour approached Severus left the castle grounds and headed into the small wizarding community to the Three Broomsticks where he would be meeting his mother. From there they would take the floo together to the estate hearing scheduled for mid afternoon. He was interesting in meeting his uncle's solicitor. He seemed, from his mother's letters, to be a very astute and keen business person, and Severus wanted to question him on some of the things he had been told by Slughorn during the recruitment party over the summer.

Severus felt an unexpected brush at his mind and started physically. Wondering who would be trying to breach his mind. He looked around the interior of the Inn he'd stepped into only moments before and his eyes quickly fell on his mothers smiling face from the corner of the room. Panic subsiding he walked to her table and sat down with relief.

"That was completely not funny." Severus said to her persistent smiling as he leaned forward and gave her a small kiss on the cheek as welcome.

"I wanted to be sure you were not slacking." Eileen said then studied him holding his hand in hers off the table, while she critiqued his figure.

"You need to eat more, and I think you've grown again. I swear you're going to be as tall as my brother. The men in my family were always tall and thin, just like you, though I think my brother was the tallest he must have been six and half foot tall." Eileen said with a good natured conversational tone.

"How have you been Mother?" Severus asked sincerely, he'd worried about the difficulty she would have in getting away from his father for the entire holiday.

Ultimately they decided it would be best if she just left without telling Tobias, letting him find out after she'd gone. If they were unsuccessful with the estate dispute the Lupins had offered to let her stay with them while she found work in the magical community, until she'd saved enough for the divorce to move forward. The Lupins had actually offered to pay for it outright, but Eileen patently refused, saying that she needed to make her own way and even intended to pay them for housing her. Severus knew they would never take her money, having been told explicitly my Mrs. Lupin in a letter, and it was heartwarming to have such decent caring friends.

"I am well, I haven't found anything yet to do with my loss of magical control. But I am still hunting, I have a few other idea's that I'll need to visit the Wizarding National Library to look up. But I am optimistic." She said, then she looked at her muggle watch. Did you bring down your things from the school? We've a few minutes to take them up to your room before we have to leave." She prompted, Severus shook his head.

"No I arranged for a house elf to have them brought down this morning with everyone else's trunks set for the train. Dumbledore has asked one to look after me when I require anything." Giving her a significant expression that she understood right away.

"Well that good to hear that he is taking care of his students so well." Eileen said in return.

The left the Inn by floo for the ministry, made it through security and were directed to the floor where their hearing was to be held. They arrived early so they waited for a short time in the hall until the hearing prior to theirs was adjourned. Minutes before they were admitted to the hearing room, the Solicitor showed up. He was of a taller build with light brown cropped wavy hair around a square face. He had broad chest and shoulders but was lean and fit that was accentuated by his rather a nicely fitting brown tweed suit with a light blue tie that set off his eyes.

"Hello, You must be young Mr. Snape, and this, your mother Mrs. Snape?" He said offering his hand in introduction when Severus confirmed.

"I am Cearl O'Bran, formerly your late uncle's Aurelius' solicitor and manager of his estates. I'm very glad that you have come to reclaim them. I know that you never knew your uncle but I still offer my condolences. I wish you could have known him, he was my good friend outside of business. Please call me Caerl" He said as he shook Severus hand solemnly. Severus returned the invitation to use his first name. Then Caerl turned to his mother and kissed her hand gallantly.

"And you, Mrs. Snape you might be now, but yours is a face that is hard to forget no matter the years." He flattered her. Then directed them into the open court room. As they took up their seats behind a a table that sat facing a large auditorium of seats circling them as if they were on stage Severus began to get nervous. He leaned over to speak quietly to O'Bran,

"They don't gather the entire Wizengamot for an estate hearing do they?" He asked him trying to mask the tone of nervousness that was in his voice.

"Oh no, we'll be lucky if the head of the Estate department even shows up for these. Most people don't dispute these charges as there isn't usually a surviving relative. However due to your mother being disowned before your birth you were never recorded in ministry records as a member of this household. The only other cases that ever get disputed are those with an illegitimate child born from the last surviving heir." He explained. "

As you can imagine it's quite rare. No one in the magical wants to come out to society as an illegitimate child, not for all the gold in china. " O'Bran finished sarcastically.

Shortly afterward the officials overseeing the hearing entered and the process began. Each of the four ministry officials wore such bored expressions that Severus could hardly believe they were listening to O'Bran at all. The read a list of requirements for proof and demanded Severus sworn statement that he was the last heir. Absently stamping the approval on his file before he had even finished repeating the vow. Then they were summarily dismissed and told to retrieve their estate details from the records keeper back in the department offices.

Severus turned and hugged his mother and then followed her and O'Bran out a bit shell-shocked at how easily his life had been flipped on it's head. He wondered if his counterpart ever managed to recover it, and if he too had felt so moved by the life changing event. He suddenly felt more than ever that he belonged in the magical world, that he had deep roots in it to be proud of. He resolved to make sure that he didn't let the family name die out it must continue. Even if he adopted a ward that he mentored through their life and taught the family art, he had something valuable and he meant to pass it on.

When they left the ministry that night Cearl demanded that they join him for a celebratory dinner at the Leaky Cauldron. They were given a file cabinet worth of documents that listed titles and deeds of property, as well as itemized lists of all other material items separate from the properties themselves, these mostly consisting of details on all the family jewels. They were handed a handful of keys for the group of family vaults. The family had multiple foreign properties and they kept separate more accessible vaults near each location. As they were leaving Cearl walked them to the Muggle Liason Office and filed his mother's divorce paper work on the spot, fronting the funds from his own account before she could protest.

"This is me buying my way into the position as manager of your estate, please I insist." He coerced, Eileen looked fit to burst with rage and embarrassment and he quickly continued placating her.

"Listen it will be a few weeks before everything else is settled and you can move into the estate. In the mean time we can move this forward and cleanly cut your ties from the muggle world with one fell swoop. Please, as your brothers friend allow me this courtesy to his family. They did so very much for me. It is the least I can do." This action however spoke of more to Severus than a gesture of friendship, he had an inkling that Cearl may have at one time admire his mother, if he didn't still. His mother seemed completely oblivious to this notion, so he decided he wouldn't mention it to her, only observe with interest.

The next week was busy, as they were in and out of Diagon Alley sorting through various affairs to get the family home ready. Caerl and his Mother insisted on seeing to these matters themselves wanting to have an unveiling for Severus when they brought him to the Prince's main dwelling Morgraig Castle that was located in Cardif, Wales. The ruins that appeared to the local muggles that lived nearly at it's doorsteps were considered a protected historical site, with very little know of the original owners, and held in reverence as a beacon of a proud history that none could seem to remember.

Severus not having very much to do would wile away the hours inside Florish and Blotts, He had started to compile a list of books he wanted to purchase that would be crucial material to have on hand for his apprenticeship.

On the 22nd Severus and Eileen left for the Lupins, as the full moon would rise on Christmas day and Severus needed to prepare the Wolfsbane. His mother would be joining him, observing his methods and he hoped maybe she would have some insiders tips from her time spent working for the apothecary in her youth. Even though Remus was unfortunate enough to have to be absent the day of Christmas, as he still locked himself inside a heavily warded room for safety, they would be celebrating the holiday a day early to work around the small complication.

Regulus joined them on Christmas Eve and the three friends sat in friendly discussion and musing. They went through the list of Severus's new properties and found the bachelor apartment there that was a recent purchase of his uncle Aurelius. They decided it was a good location for Remus to set up base while he was navigating the London werewolf society. They then planned and tweaked various rune calculations and diagrams that detailed the complex wards they planned to implement on the property.

Regulus pointed out that it would be good for Remus to have a house elf there to look after him, asking if Severus knew whether he could assign one from the main home to retrieve the wolfsbane potion from him wherever he ended up. This would certain solve the dilemma before them in keeping Remus properly supplied during the full moon, so Severus left their conversation to question his mother on it's potential.

He found her deep in discussion with Caerl in the drawing room with legal papers spread on the table before them.

"You know Cearl normal people don't work on Christmas Eve, even you deserve a holiday." He said placing a hand on his shoulder as he looked between them at the papers they were perusing so intently.

"Severus, come help us decide what arrangement to give Tobias. Cearl seems to think he would be better off out of the country entirely, but I know that he's never even left the county he grew up in. What do you think? Would it be to extreme of a move to send him of to Canada, or even Australia?" She questioned.

"Mother as long as they have alcohol he will be happy wherever he ends up, as happy as person like him could be anyway. Send him to Canada where it's good an cold, it'll give him a good excuse for why his liver will fail within a year, drinking to stave off the cold." Severus said bitterly then sighed, "I don't really care, whatever you think is best but I think he will be fine no matter where it is." He dismissed then continued with more enthusiasm. "I've actually come with a question that one or both of you could probably help me with. I'm going to set up Auri's little flat in London for Remus to crash at between expeditions after school, I was thinking it would be good to have a house elf that was assigned to look after the place and keep it ready for him. What's the procedure to something like that? Do I just ask one that lives at the main house to go there, or do I have to put out an advert for one?" Severus spoke using terms that were safe around Caerl who was not even aware that he was in the company of a werewolf by visiting them there.

"It's quite simple, you can summon one now by calling their name. As their master you need only ask, as a good and kind master you need only do so with respect and appreciation." Cearl instructed him in a fatherly tone. It elicited a strange feeling for Severus to be treated thus. Not unpleasant at all, it was a rather tender, gratefulness that he thought one might feel toward a father they cared for, when he took time and care to pass on sage advice.

"Thank you, I'll be sure to meet your standards." Severus replied honestly. Then he gave them both a smile and retreated from the room. He looked back at the pair from the doorway and saw the tender look that Caerl had for his mother as he observed her taking great consideration for a man that had caused her so much pain and misery. The respect and admiration in his eyes told Severus that Cearl was most definitely in love with his mother, and he couldn't help but smile and wish him luck.


	16. Denial (5,679)

A/N: Yay! 200th Review goes to Senshi at Heart, I also forgot to announce the 100th Review as well that went to EmilyWoods. both have chosen one shots that I am working on. I plan to have them up posted in the next day or two so keep an eye out!

Mood music: Briony - Dario Marianelli. From The Atonement soundtrack (type writter sounds are awesome!)

**Content Warning: **Mature dark themes within.

Disclaimer: not mine, no money

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**Chapter 15: Denial**

The winter holidays were proving to be filled with more happiness and good memories than Severus could ever remember. But while he and his loved ones were enjoying a life of joy and laughter, punctuated by good fortune and a smiling of fate; dark and sinister things were afoot elsewhere.

Lily Evans sat morosely on the fluffy buttoned ottoman that was circled by mirrors in the bridal shop dressing room, watching with apathy as her sister Petunia chose and tried on the worst re-imagining's of the traditional wedding gown she'd ever seen. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy dress shopping or that she wasn't thrilled for Petunia for having found someone she loved; though try as she might she had no idea what it might be she could love about that pompous, blonde walrus of a man she was to marry in a few short weeks. No her problem was that she couldn't be less interested, she had more important things to worry about like all the killings and disappearances, than whether this shade of pink will go properly with that shade of green, or if those ruffles are feminine or if they accent the bodice to vulgarly.

She amused herself for a little while at first, discretely casting shrinking charms on the ugliest of dresses and watching as her sister turned red in embarrassment when the attendant couldn't get the seams within a few inches of each other to button or zip it, only to then return with a larger size and have it her swimming in the extra cloth.

"Lily! Stop being a such a freak, and leave my dresses alone! I know what you are doing, you know. Just because you are allowed to use it whenever you want doesn't mean you should, what if people were to see you? My life would be ruined if Vernon found out I had a witch for a sister. Put it away!" Petunia hissed as their mother apologized to the attendant for the confusion and asked for the smaller sized dresses again.

"Why don't you take me up on my offer then Tuney? I could make you whatever dress you like however you like it. Then you wouldn't have to worry about who else wore the same style or anything and you can be sure no one else had one that was like yours. Come on, it won't even take that long just one of these dress mags and any old party dress." Lily said holding up a Bridal magazine and grabbing Petunia's hand to pull her away. Petunia jerked her hand away with a look of intense disgust on her pinched face.

"I want nothing to do with you and your … magic" She seemed to search for a proper word to describe her distaste but failed spitting the last word out with vehemence. "No Lily I won't have you ruining my day. Why do you think I planned the wedding for when you'd be back in school. I don't want you anywhere near it, you belong with your group of freaks not anywhere near regular normal people that you think you can just charm into doing whatever you want."

Lily's eye stung with tears but she refused to let Petunia see how much it hurt her. "Fine, have it your way Tuney." Lily grabbed her purse and left the bridal shop with her head held high. Once she made it out onto the busy streets of London she release the tears she was holding and let them flow wiping at her eyes as she wandered aimlessly through the city. Not feeling like hanging around in a place she had never belonged she decided to apparate to Diagon Alley and continue her wandering and window shopping in a place where she at least felt at home.

After she'd had her fill of wandering from shop to shop she made her way toward The Leaky Cauldron, and just as she reached the brick opening She was forced to step aside for someone coming the opposite way. The Wizard had paused in front of her momentarily and they awkwardly danced about trying to get around each other briefly before he lost his patience grabbed her by the shoulders and physically moved her to one side, before stepping around her.

Lily shot a glare at the impertinent wizard's back then turned to enter the Inn, securing a small table in a quiet corner. She ordered a drink and a light meal then sat in her chair lost in her thought until she noticed a newspaper left by a previous customer folded and placed against the wall behind the salt and pepper.

She pulled it out and flattened it on the table and passed the time skimming through various articles, most detailing the strange disappearances and violent attacks. One particularly distressful to her was the brutal raping of a group of muggle girls near Godrics Hollow. The article brought Lily's thoughts around to what she had been avoiding thinking about, but had been plaguing her mind.

She and Severus had taken that intimate next step in their relationship, and she very much wanted it to continue. She truly did enjoy the danger and intrigue of their secret relationship, it brought a smile to her face to remember the other few intimate moments they had snatched in a hidden room someplace. Severus was extremely sensual and made her feel so loved and adored when he touched her, that she could get excited just remembering their embraces. None of their other encounters were as intimate as that first night; as they'd never had enough time to be alone, people expecting them to be one place or another.

But the more she thought about his actions the more she feared he was not being honest with her about his involvement with the Death Eaters. She didn't have anything to base this theory off of, he had taken great pains to make sure that she was safe even when dueling her in her shamefully ill thought display. No what seemed to give her the pervading sense of mistrust in him was the nature of his spells.

He's always had a dark streak, she'd known that but she couldn't help but wonder why someone would create a spell like Sectum Sempra. It was barbarically violent! Then she'd also had many letters from James over the summer apologizing for what had happen near the lake that day, claiming that he didn't know the spell would do that he'd never used it. Stating, dimwitted though it was, that he only thought it was a good hex since Severus had it written in his book with all the others they'd nicked from him; Levicorpus and Mufliato. Lily wondered what Severus could get up to that required him to create a spell to disrobe your opponent. Her mind supplied all kinds of terrible images of exactly what a teenage boy could do, and she couldn't help but wonder how he had tested and developed such a spell.

She had no doubts in her mind that the attacks on those poor muggle girls, who were described as being raped then violently slaughtered, their bodies covered with razor fine slashes. She grabbed her hair unconsciously as she read the details, Severus had brewed her a hair growth potion and it was now back to its normal length. But she still wondered at him for even turning the spell on her at all. She felt a faint chill run across her and shivered, reaching for her warm butterbeer when she felt as though someone was watching her.

Looking up she saw by the door hidden in the shadows enough that she couldn't make out the features of his face, a man stood with arms folded staring at her. When he realized she'd seen him he stepped out of the shadows revealing himself to her as the man she'd bumped into on her way in. He approached her and sat down across from her, still watching her with an inscrutable expression.

"If it isn't the unmistakable Lily Evans. I'm sorry for our earlier brusque encounter I was in a rather great hurry. Allow me to make it up to you, care for another?" He asked smoothly gesturing to her nearly empty drink.

"Thank you, I'm sorry what was your name? I don't think we have met." Lily said trying to be polite as possible. He was extremely handsome, chiseled features squared unshaven jaw, and nearly shoulder length waves of chestnut brown hair. He was older than her she guessed late twenties to early thirties, but he exuded that aura of confidence that comes with years of successful conquest. She felt herself blush a little when he gave her a smoldering half smile with a sardonic twinkle in his eye.

"Rudolfus Lestrange." He answered and his eyes crinkled when he smiled wider at her recognition of his name. He summoned the barkeep with a wave of a finger and ordered them two goblets of their finest elf-made wine. Before he turned back to look at Lily who was discretely trying to straighten her appearance.

"I've heard of you before, it's nice to meet you." Lily said sweetly, causing him to smile at her again and for the blush to return to her cheeks. She stuttered on,

"H-how do you know my name, if you don't mind me asking." She said trying to hide the slight nervous quiver in her voice.

_Good lord he is so intense!_ Lily thought to herself.

"My friend Lucius mentioned that you had a rather exciting duel with Snape. He spoke very eloquently of your - talents." Rudolfus said his eyes roving her figure as he talked and he slowly reached up and brushed at her long hair, the same side that was recently regrown.

Their drinks arrived and so he withdrew his hand from her, and they both sipped the sweet beverage in silence for a moment. Then he placed his glass down and sat back throwing his arm across the back of his chair while he appraised her.

"It would be a pity, to waste such a talent, as well as such beauty." he said his expression now changing to give off the impression he was viewing a rather innocuous weed that grew unwanted in his garden and he sought to remove it. Lily's expression betrayed her confusion at his words and his expression, and she frowned at him growing increasingly indignant the longer she mulled his words.

"Waste? What are you getting at?" Lily said angrily, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at him.

"Yes it's rather unfortunate you being a muggle born. You do know that your kind are being removed from our world don't you, you've seen the stories." He gestured to the now forgotten newspaper. If Lily looked angry before she was furious now.

"I think you should leave, it's obvious that we cannot have anything more to discuss." She demanded. Rudolfus only laughed at her slowly then leaned forward and grabbed her wrist forcefully holding her to keep her from leaving herself.

"I came here to offer you protection, I hold a lot of sway and could vouch for you as my ward, if you agree to be my lover. You would be touched by no one but me, and I could guide you into your proper place in the coming new world. With proper dedication your talents could prove useful to the Dark Lord. If so then no one would dare remember your unsavory beginnings." He explained holding her wrist tight and jerking it painfully when she tried to move away.

"I'm sure you see the flaw in your plan, won't your fiancé have something to say about you taking a lover?" She spat at him, no longer struggling as her wrist began to twinge painfully, she was slowly working her wand down her sleeve and into her hand under the table.

"Bella is merely my breeding stock for the next generation, no you my love would be purely for my wants, and pleasures. A man of my position and power always gets what he wants." He said trailing his finger along her face, tracing through her cleavage and grabbing her breast roughly. At this Lily struggled against him more ignoring the pain in her wrist, and cried out.

"Let go!" Her shout grabbed the attention of the barman and he began to shuffle over to the disturbance, but Rudolfus let go of her as he arrive around the corner of the bar.

"Everything all right miss?" He asked. Lily jumped from her seat and made to move away from the table but Rudolfus grabbed her, causing her to struggle to get away again and the barkeep to object to his handling of her. Rudolfus ignore both while he threatened,

"You won't get another opportunity at amnesty girl, you deny me now and you bring down judgment on your own head." Once he was done he let her go, she rushed to the doorway and apparated home the moment she stepped outside.

Once home she rushed into her room and collapsed on her floor shuddering in fear as her sobs overtook her. Not wanted at home by her sister and hated in the only place she'd been welcomed for the way she was, she felt lost and alone.

Severus was rather disappointed when new years day came and went and Lily didn't come to Hogsmede, He knew she hadn't given him a definite but he had hoped that she would have considering the intensity of their relationship. She was always on his mind and in his thoughts, the memories of their encounters teasing him as they replayed on a constant loop in his head. He wanted to taste her lips, feel her silken hair, and hold her soft curves against him. He had plenty of other things to do to distract him thankfully so there were not too many minutes that were left for him to really focus on those thoughts, they just floated like a plaguing itch in the back of his mind.

On January 2nd Cearl and his mother took him to see their new home, well, new for him, as his mother had grown up there. The grounds were large with huge gardens that were filled with various potions ingredients displaying them rather decoratively, a place he learned his mother had adored and used to tend with the elves when she had lived there before. The house itself grand the rooms all large with tall windows and heavy curtains, the walls covered in fine panels of polished and engraved wood. Their were many magical portraits of his ancestors many who display the prominent hooked nose that featured on his own face, all having dark hair, and eyes and very pale skin. The house was surrounded by centuries old trees causing the interior to seem gloomy as it didn't get very much sunlight through the windows. A Large sturdy castle wall encompassed the house and grounds in a star pattern with tall oblong towers at each point overlooking the land around. It was situated so that it could see the whole of the valley around it and was defensible against the neighboring hill, over an ancient highway that past between them.

He let his mother take her pick of the rooms and then he chose a medium sized room that was equipped with many shelves, and an attached room that his mother said was a nursery. He thought about converting it to a lab but then his mother took him to the cellar and showed him that there was already one in place. He was amazed at the sight there, it had everything a lab could possibly need it even looked as though there was a wand makers table in one corner, leading him to believe one of his ancestors had been a wand maker.

The two days he spent at Morgraig before the term began were wonderfully fun, full of exploration and discovery that made him feel as though he were a small boy again with not a care in the world. So it was with some reluctance that he kissed his mother goodbye and took the floo back to the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmede to return to finish his education.

He was eager to get a moment alone with Lily, but for the entire first week she had evaded him. He wasn't sure if she was doing it intentionally but he hadn't been able to so much as say hello to her. He felt rather anxious after the first few days past till after the first week he wrote her a note and covertly slipped it to her as they left DADA, asking her to meet him near the window seat on the 7th floor after dinner. He followed her closely enough to their next class to be sure that she had read it, then waited impatiently all day until dinner where he ate quickly and then left to go wait for her.

He was sitting in the window seat when she arrived with an expression of fear and sadness. He immediately went to her and embraced her tightly.

"Lily what's wrong? Did something happen, why are you crying?" He asked incredulously and beginning to feel extremely apprehensive.

"Oh Sev, I'm scared. Things are getting really nasty out there for muggle borns, and I don't feel safe here at school anymore." Lily sobbed into his shirt, leaving wet marks on his tie.

"Why what's changed? There were disappearances and attacks before, why are you suddenly now taking them seriously?" Severus felt a foreboding feeling, but then he knew that he had more time she would be in danger until after school.

"I was in Diagon Alley alone over break and Rudolfus Lestrange confronted me. He said he could offer me protection by claiming me as his ward if I agreed to be his mistress making it clear I was to serve the Dark Lord ultimately. When I tried to leave he threatened me saying I brought down judgment on myself if I refused him." She explained with a shaky voice wiping at her eyes. Severus led her to the window seat and the sat down together.

"Lily why would you go there alone? Never mind, don't go out like that alone ok?" Severus commanded forcefully and Lily nodded meekly.

"But why would he target you like that, he doesn't even know you does he?" Lily shook her head negative, but didn't say anything more. She felt so foolish for being attracted to such a dangerous man and for being so stupid to be out alone.

"He said he heard about our fight from Malfoy, and then I bumped into him in Diagon Alley on my way to the leaky. Then after a while he came in and sat down with me, he was pleasant at first but then it went downhill from there." She explained and Severus went cold. If Lucius had mentioned the duel to Rudolfus it was likely it was also known by Riddle, and she had now just openly refused to join him. He knew that she would refuse him three times before she was targeted, but the fact that the countdown had begun scared him.

Severus didn't know what he could tell her without giving away his motives so he just said soothing things, and told her to be careful not to go out alone. Once she was clam he spent a few minutes trying to make lighter conversation before they had to concede and leave. They didn't want to be caught in the halls this late. He watched her till she was safely in his common room before he made for the dungeons. He couldn't avoid the conversation with the journal anymore, he needed advice and he still hadn't told the journal about anything going on with him and Lily. He figured he didn't have to say anything about their intimacy, it was none of it's business.

He sat on his four poster bed with his Slytherin green bed curtains drawn and warded with a silencing spell to keep his roommates from hearing him. With trepidation he pulled out the quill and wrote.

"Things have been busy here, but I really need to discuss things with you now."

"Oh so you deign to give me your attention, perhaps you are suffering under the delusion that I'm here for your whims. Let me enlighten you boy, either you take more care in your decisions, listen and follow instructions you are given or you will suffer for it and not by my hand by your very own. Why did you reveal your intentions to Dumbledore?"

"I had to, Lily had a stupid idea to stage a fight between us in the halls, I didn't know what she was up to and just played along. She nearly got expelled for it because Lucius saw the fight and told him that she was the instigator of the fight. Then the meddling old fool started sifting around her head, seeing who knows what, but at the very least he knew I was trying to get in good with the Death Eater crowd. I had to tell him." He explained defensively.

"Very well, but explain to me why Lily is helping you look good for that crowd. Why would she do that? Why is she even still talking to you at all? She despises the dark arts, and our use of them." He questioned astutely

"I made Lily understand that I needed to keep up appearances for them so it doesn't hurt my apprenticeship." He explained hoping it was enough for them to change the topic.

"Go on then, what has happened since we spoke to Dumbledore." The journal prodded.

"Well I won the estate dispute, and have taken possession of all the Prince family holdings. I was meaning to ask you if you ever filed a dispute for the estate? Since you said mother never came out of her depression she wouldn't have ever opened the letter from her brother's solicitor." Severus explained.

"No by the time I found the letter and looked into it many years later the ministry had distributed or sold all the property. There was nothing left. Mother was murdered by Tobias in one of his drunken rages, then shot himself with a pistol during the Christmas holiday." The words seemed to appear reluctantly on the page then bled away.

"Why didn't you tell me that? What if Mother had been home? She could have been killed!" Severus asked in a rage that he would keep such information from him. He'd know that his mother didn't survive but he had never been told the specifics, and assumed it was later.

"I didn't tell you because you informed me that you had plans to spend Christmas in Hogsmede with her, not to mention my mother that was murder was apathetic about life, she probably hoped for her death, your mother would have fought back. I'm sure of it." Severus had to concede with his logic but it was still terrifying to know how close he could have been to losing her so soon after having her back.

"Well she is free of Tobias Snape at last; He is now a frozen, alcohol soaked laborer for a lumber mill in the middle of nowhere Canada. And it is more than he deserves." Severus wrote angrily.

"So you have your inheritance and your mother has a new life ahead of her. Well done, You are making some improvements, just be sure that you do not loose your focus. How is your standing with the Dark Lord and his followers?" It asked getting back to business.

"It is good, I don't think I am suspected of being a muggle sympathizer, it helps that I have just severed all ties with the muggle world seemingly and embraced my pure blood lines. What I'm worried about is that Lily was approached by Rudolfus Lestrange. He offered to claim her as his ward as protection if she agreed to be his mistress and join the dark lords cause." Severus said with anxiety as he thought over it again.

"By mistress he means slave. I've already shown you what they do. She refused him no doubt? That would make this her first of three denials." The journal confirmed Severus fears.

"What am I to do about it? How do I keep her from being targeted for her refusal?" Severus asked hoping that it would have some way but doubting that it would try. In the past it kept firmly pushing him away from his love for Lily telling him to accept her as a loss and move on.

As expected it replied,

"I've said before Lily's sacrifice is necessary. If you change her sacrifice you risk defeat to the Dark Lord much sooner. Right now focus on your school and building trust from the other recruits. Also you need to figure out what to do about your show of dedication to the Dark Lord. I do not advise waiting until your initiation this summer." The book warned.

"What did you do for yours? I'm not really sure what they are looking for." Severus asked forcibly ignoring what he said about Lily and resolving to look for a way himself.

"Random acts of violence are the most common shows for new recruits which is why you see so many reports of them in the papers. I never settled on one so one was provided for me at my initiation." the lettering became increasingly spiky and hard to read.

"So what did you have to do? Severus asked almost reluctantly. He'd seen gruesome things from him about the death eaters did.

"I murdered a young muggle girl. I was then tortured and violated for not taking her innocence. I managed to avoid such repercussions for not participating in those revels after that by claiming impotence."

Severus paled, he knew he would have to grow a stronger stomach but he was not sure he could do violence on a woman after seeing his mother abused his whole life.

"What about a spell or a potion, could I maybe offer one that I have created as show of my dedication?"

"That has merit. What have you been working on lately? Let's see which would be the most useful for him." It prompted.

"Well I have Sectum Sempra and Vulnara Sanentur, Muffliato, Levicorpus and Liberacorpus, Langlock, Teguremovere , Cito Clavorum.* Oh that reminds me I managed to alter the animagus transformation, I can basically make myself fly without being in bird form. It's like smoke really." He wrote excitedly when he remembered it.

"Interesting, your lesson with mother have improved your skills with the Praesum quite a lot. I didn't manage to figure that out until the end of my apprenticeship, and trying to make up for my failings I immediately shared it with the dark lord. He and I were the only people to have ever used it. I think that will be sufficient."

They wrapped up the conversation discussing the intricacies of the Praesum, and Severus shared with him information about Morgraig castle, and some of the experiences he had. Once he had stowed the journal safely in the chest and lock inside his school trunk Severus sat back and tried to think of some way of keeping Lily safe. He fell asleep only to be greeted by nightmares of her suffering various terrible fates at the hands of the death eaters.

Lily remained distant from him for the rest of the entire year and he could see the stress of her worries was getting to her. Severus was at a loss of how to help her; since she wouldn't spend any time with him he couldn't help her try to develop her occlumency defenses. Then in mid-February he heard from others that her parents were considered victims of an attack. They were found in their home at the dinner table with a bottle of elf-made wine that was laced with poison. The bottle had been transfigured to look like an average bottle of wine and the muggle authorities call the deaths an accidental death from a CO2 poisoning.

The moment he overheard the news he set out to find her, only to learn from Dumbledore that she had been sent home to bury her family and given a week off from school.

"When is the funeral, I want to be there." Severus demanded standing in front of the headmaster's desk looking stricken.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, Severus, surely you know that? As it is the even is going to be under heavy guard by Aurors and who knows if one of his followers doesn't show up to watch. You will ruin all the hard work you have put into gaining their trust in you. I cannot allow you the days to leave. I'm sorry my boy, you will have to pay your respects and condolences when your friend returns and in secrecy." Dumbledore told him gently. The old wizard observed him closely before he continued.

"I can see you care for her. But you will only make her a greater target if you keep hovering around her. They are likely testing you to see if you will revert back to your old friendships in hard times." Dumbledore explained, then he came around his desk and patted Severus on the shoulder, trying to cheer him up.

"If anything you should have have already proven that you can make drastic changes to the course of events. It may be that we can keep her safe yet."

When lily returned to school she was seen frequently in the arms of a smug James Potter, who took advantage of her greif to insinuate himself into her life. Severus managed to get a few moments with her the first night she was home and try to offer comfort to her.

"Save it Sev ok? It's obvious you care more about your success than you do for me. I don't need your pity when you deign to give me a moment of your time, just don't bother, it's too late now." Lily raged at him before leaving Severus in a daze of hurt and confusion. He understood her being upset but it hurt him that she so quickly threw away what they had. He gritted his teeth in anger at his inability to tell her what was going on and rather idiotically punched the wall and broke several of the bones in his hand. He just slumped on to the floor leaning against the wall in the small alcove he'd pulled her into. His hand lying limp and broken on the cold stone and he shut himself away behind his occlusion for some time to escape his pain, both emotional and physical.

Remus and Regulus managed to find him, and they tried to pull him out of his non responsive state. They finally managed to get him to walk to the infirmary where Madame Pomfrey tisked over his shattered hand and set to fixing it. Severus stepped back out of his occlusion when he saw the extremely worried looks on his two friend's faces.

"What did my nose fall off?" Severus said attempting humor to distract from the humiliation of being found in such a state. Regulus and Remus both smiled at him looking relieved.

"You gave us a scare when you looked that way; it was just like what you had described you mom to be like before. We thought we might have to have the headmaster send for her to get you help." Remus explained. Severus colored in embarrassment and ducked his head.

"What happened Severus? Anything we can do?" Regulus asked quietly, he had a sneaking suspicion the problem was with Lily and he felt that if it was it was time for him to speak his mind on the topic.

"Lily's parents were killed, but you know that. She's back today and I tried to make her feel better and she told me to leave it, made it pretty clear she didn't want to talk to me anymore because she doesn't think I care about her more than my mastery. I just don't know how to help her, how to keep her safe. I can't tell her what's going on." Severus confided. Regulus took a deep breath and looked at Remus who gave an imperceptible nod.

"Severus I think you need to let her go. She doesn't care for you, not like you do for her I think she is just toying with you, using you to make James behave the way she wants. Remus and I have both seen how she asks with you, she gives you just enough to encourage your affection and give almost none in return. I think you are better off if you just let it die." He explained gently.

Severus just nodded and continued to think. It seemed everyone felt it was time for him to let it go, maybe they were all right. With a heavy sigh he made his decision, so far all his attempts to keep Lily had failed, maybe he just needed to let it fall where it may and hope for the best. He resolved to focus on his task to destroy Tom Riddle, wondering if maybe he was better off alone.


	17. The Black One Comes (4,608)

A/N: Finally the chapter has arrived! Though when editing it I decided to do an overhaul of the last half of teh chapter which I still haven't completed. I feel bad for making you all wait though while I explore this idea and bend it to my will. So here is part 1 of this Chapter, Part two soon to follow!

**Content warning: **Mature to be safe. 17+, Rated R, etc.

Disclaimer: not mine, no money.

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**Chapter 16: The Black One Comes**

As the school year drew to a close more and more students reported being approached by the Death Eaters for recruitment and those who declined the offer would later suffer the consequences of it. Many families were attacked, or branded blood traitors and ostracized, a proverbial line was being drawn in the sand for whose side one stood on. The Ministry couldn't ignore any longer that the wizarding world stood on the threshold of war.

Dumbledore championed his cause quietly to trusted friends in society and through out the school, taking older students aside who had made their stance against Voldemort and offering them what protection the Order could in return for their wand and efforts in the coming fight. James and Sirius had a very public muggle police chase involving Sirius' motorcycle on a night when approached to enlist for Voldemort's cause. Their flippant denial broke out in a vicious fight that spanned the city and attracted much attention among the muggles. They became the face of the Order, publicly denouncing the pure blood movement and Voldemort to all students who would listen.

Remus became an official order member and as such, was reluctantly accepted back into the fold of the marauders. Though they would never be as close as before, the boys once and for all set aside their differences as they banded together under the banner of the Order. Remus's status as a member of the order was a tightly kept secret, as outwardly he appeared to stay neutral. He managed to keep up contacts on either side of the line and as such he was forgotten on the sidelines as if invisible, never once asked to join the Death Eaters.

It was with high tensions and bitter house rivalries that the school year finally came to a close with the traditional leaving feast. Dumbledore advising the new graduates to consider long and hard the paths they each chose as they stepped into adulthood. Advising them to break with traditions, and seek unity and goodwill with all witches and wizards, pure blood , half-blood, or muggleborn. Severus felt the anger and haughty disdain coming from his fellow recruits, in Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and even a Hufflepuff or two, as Dumbledore attempted to try to sway them from their paths toward the light.

Severus watched with sadness as he rode behind Lily and her girlfriends the next morning as the carriages carried them to the train station. Most of the graduates would be disapparating from the train platform with their families that had arrived to greet and congratulate them. Severus had wanted to talk to her before they went on their separate ways but was immidiately swallowed up by embraces from his mother and the Lupins the moment they arrived. When he managed to look up and break away Lily was gone, having disapparated with the McKinnons with whom she would be spending summer break with until her and Marlene started University in the fall. He had a creeping dread that it would be the last time he saw her, and wanted to at least say goodbye.

There was no turning back on his path now he knew that, the recruits were expected to gather at Malfoy Manor that night for initiation into the Death Eater ranks. Severus had arranged a meeting through Lucius with Riddle just before the expected gathering, so that he could give him the flying technique as a show of his devotion and loyalty. The dread he felt for the meeting hung on the back of his senses, inescapable and oppressing. The remembrances of the old man Snape's memories haunted him making him jittery.

He watched his friends and his mother, detached far behind his occlusion, when they all gathered for luncheon at Morgraig. Everyone attempted to distract him with conversation knowing that his future loomed in front of him. He appreciated their efforts and support, he knew it would be much harder to face alone. After spending a polite amount of time as host entertaining his guests he excused himself and left them in his mother's capable hands while he retreated to his rooms to prepare himself for the meeting.

He had made it clear to Lucius that they would need to meet in the gardens and requested a private audience, asking that no one disturb them. After spending time preparing his mind for the encounter, deepening the oceans and hiding his island of memories in the furthest recess of his mind, he felt he was prepared and left quietly.

* * *

He apparated in front of the gates of Malfoy Manor an hour before sunset and was greeted by the slithering mass of enchanted snakes entwined around the iron rods of the gate, guarding it from entry. Severus had never been fond of snakes, strange though it was considering his house, but he'd never been around any since he grew up in the city. The enchanted gate spoke to him; the snakes each hissing as he approached.

"Ssss, the black one comesss."

"Ssstand asssside black one."

"Sssseek not to enter here!" Multiple heads turned and appraised him, warning him against entry, and baring their iron fangs with venomous hostility.

"What issss your name black one?" The larger central snake that served as the lock, coiled around the two halves of the gate, demanded.

Severus thought the enchantment just a little over the top but he supposed that it was as good a doorbell as any.

_Lucius was always one for a show._ He thought.

"Severus Snape. Tell the master within I have arrived and permit me entrance." He responded, and stood to the side to wait.

"Ssseverusss, yessss he comesss. Dessstiny awaitssss thee black one." The larger snakes hissed before unwinding itself and allowing the gate to admit him to the property. As Severus approached the house, he saw Lucius step outside and walk up the long drive to meet him.

"Severus, punctual as always. The Dark Lord has not arrived yet, would you care for a drink while we await him?" Lucius asked greeting him with a wide sweeping gesture of his arm toward his home, and then falling into step along side him. Severus gestured with a thumb over his shoulder.

"How very Slytherin of you, a just bit dramatic though." He said, and Lucius gave him a quizzical look before he understood what he was referring to.

"Ah yes the gatekeepers, placed by one of my ancestors, they can be a little fickle with the guests. They are only supposed to scare off the local filth, not that they ever make it beyond the wards anymore, but the enchantment was placed before we had the wards. A bit useless now, I admit. They don't even like me, tolerate me at best." Lucius said with an amused snort. Severus gave him a small smirk as they entered the manor.

Lucius led him to his study and poured him a tumbler of firewhiskey asking him as he handed him the drink,

"What did you have in mind for your meeting if you don't mind me asking?"

"I have developed a technique for the Dark Lord, as my show of devotion for his cause." Severus explained fingering his drink nervously.

"Ah yes, I had wanted to ask you about your interesting display, it's very unique form of transfiguration. How did you manage it?"

"It wouldn't be unique if I went around sharing my secrets with everyone." Severus deflected.

"I'm hardly everyone, what are a few shared secrets between friends?" Lucius said taking on an air of affront. Severus smirked at him sidelong before going rather serious.

"My duty is first to the Dark Lord, if he deems my work worthy to share you will be the first that I tell." Lucius accepted this answer with an approving nod that Severus interpreted to mean he'd passed some test. Moments later a very old house elf appeared and announced Riddle's arrival. Lucius graciously escorted Severus to the Lobby to meet him.

"Ahh Severus, Lucius informed me that you seek a private audience in the garden before the general proceedings this evening. Come I am eager to hear your news." The handsome man said not even acknowledging his host before he turned and headed out for the gardens. Severus followed behind him for a ways until Riddle slowed and allowed him to walk along side him when the entered the gardens.

"I have wondered Severus when I would hear of your show of dedication for our cause. My sources tell me interesting things of your work, and of your activities. I find myself disappointed, I had hoped that you would be one that was eager to show your dedication to our cause." He said not looking at Severus but staring straight ahead as they entered the garden, his displeasure thick in his tone.

"You mistake me sir, I have come here tonight with the hope of sharing a discovery, one I found from delving into the knowledge passed on to me by my ancestors using the Praesum. I wish to impart this information to you as my show of dedication, in providing you secrets that none other could." Severus explained deferentially. The mention of the Praesum seemed to pique Riddle's interest and he stopped walking near a large fountain, central to the garden. Looking reflective, he appraised Severus as if seeing him for the first time again.

"I already know the finer details of the Praesum. I mentored by your own grandfather in my youth. What more can an estranged and forgotten heir have to give me that I do not already know? I know of your history. Of your mothers shameful fall from grace into muggle filth, boy. I know your parentage! You, like myself, must cut the gangrenous limb of your father from your life if you wish to become greater. Have you cut ties from your paternity, Severus. Have you embraced the Prince line entirely?"

"I wish for nothing more than his suffering and demise." Severus said with a fervency in his voice that spoke of its truth, privately enjoying the hidden meaning behind those words with a smirking sneer. Riddle seemed to accept this answer as sufficient and began to circle Severus trying to intimidate him.

"Show me your secret Severus and I will judge it's usefulness." He said in a quiet tone before stopping his circular pacing to stand in front of Severus with all the force of presence at his command.

"I await your presence, my lord." Severus kneeled in front of him on the grass, touching two fingers to his temple, before meeting his father's black eyes. Riddle paused in thought, taking a few steps back before pulling out his wand brandishing it at Severus with violent force.

"Legilimens!"

Severus felt a wave of nausea and revulsion hit him from the sickening pressure that came with the arrival of Riddle's presence in his mind. Through sheer willpower he suppressed it sinking it in the depthless dark oceans of his occlusion. Riddle radiated the malevolence from his mutilated and twisted soul. He appeared exactly as Severus saw him in physical form. Riddle seemed to realize that he was not feared by Severus and it amused him. They stood on an island of jagged obsidian surrounded by Severus' endless and placid ocean. With his emotions carefully repressed the sky above was that of a dull and eerie twilight.

Riddle took in his surroundings warily stalking the circumference of the island before waving a hand over the water's surface, causing it to ripple and the memories Severus allowed free float up and appear on its surface. Severus' corporeal form stood to one side, his hands clasped behind him, patiently waiting for Riddle to finish perusing the memories he'd offered him detailing the development of his flying technique. Riddle spun on him with greed in his eyes and demanded,

"Show me."

Severus nodded then closed his eyes concentrating for a moment before turning into a cloud of smoke that drifted and whipped about before diving through Riddle's corporeal form and dragging them both back through the Iter into the Dark lord's mind. Once there he wasted no time, not wanting to linger in the malignant and oppressive mind, he dove quickly through the heavily gilded mirror that displayed the exit from Riddle's fore-mind, dragging Riddle's consciousness with him, pulling his consciousness and magic into the shapeless smoky form and then back in to reality.

Severus released him and flew in a low circle around the garden, allowing Riddle to adjust to movements of the form on his own, while he landed cancelling the form, taking a knee and bowing his head until Riddle was finished exploring its complexities. When Riddle landed his excitement was clear though his labored breathing, but his anger was infinitely greater as he attacked Severus, grasping him by the throat and pulling him to stand and look him in the eye.

"You dare take such liberties with my person, to manipulate my magic without permission?" he hissed, dangerously close to crushing Severus' airway.

"Forgive me, it was the only way to show you. Please!" Severus croaked barely able to get the words out and desperately in need of air. Riddle released him throwing him to the ground where Severus landed in a coughing, gasping heap, rubbing his neck. He wasn't entirely prepared for the punishment when it hit, but he was also not entirely surprised by it. He had been warned by old man Snape that he would likely be punished for his brash actions tonight.

"Crucio!"" Riddle hissed at him.

Severus exerted every ounce of control he had to keep himself from crying out in pain, biting into his tongue hard and drawing blood as the spell coursed his body like a hot knife on every nerve simultaneously. He curled into a fetal position instinctively, while his body seized from the force of the torture. His mind was still tightly locked away and he retreated from the pain behind his occlusion until it subsided.

"Let that be a lesson to you, in the future I will not hesitate to end you for such insolence." Riddle said vehemently before turning away from him. Severus struggled to regain his footing, kneeling before Voldemort then waiting respectfully for permission to rise.

"Your offer pleases me, despite your misguided actions. I will allow them and you are excused from providing a public show of devotion to me this evening. Had I not found this acceptable you would have suffered greatly for your misdeeds and would be required to prove yourself with the rest this evening." Riddle stopped his pacing, tapping his wand on his lips thoughtfully.

"I think you can be of use to me. Your cunning mind and your mastery of the Praesum make you an ideal candidate. Yes. I have a use for you." He continued pacing, circling Severus and trailing a hand over his head inviting him to stand. Severus took his feet refusing to show any more weakness, suppressing the pain from showing in his movements, then staring into the distance. "When you complete your furthered education, I require you to be my eyes on my greatest enemy. You will be instrumental in forming the cunning and intelligent minds among the purest of families, and preventing the venerable Headmaster from indoctrinating them against the true ways. Weed out the unworthy. You will obtain the defense position at Hogwarts, as my spy, gain the old fools trust and make him believe in you wholly." Riddle ended with his back turned to Severus and waited for him to respond. Severus swallowed the blood that kept pooling in his mouth from his marred tongue and said.

"An honor, my Lord, to please you. I am yours to command." the damage to his tongue causing his voice to come out sounding slightly garbled and wet.

"This technique will not be shared. I will impart it to others if I deem it necessary. As its creator I will allow you its use." With that Riddle turned gracefully and glided back into the Manor leaving Severus behind dismissively.

* * *

Once he was out of sight Severus took out his wand and cleaned the dirt and leaves from his clothes from his time spent writhing on the ground. Then he pulled a bottle of Dittany from a charmed breast coat pocket, taking the dropper and applying it to the wounds on his tongue hearing it hiss and sizzle as it knitt the torn flesh back together. Before conjuring a glass, filling it with water to rinse his mouth.

Severus made his way back to the house at a leisurely pace, knowing the initiation was still an hour or more from beginning. As he walked he happened upon Narcissa, sitting on a stone garden bench with a book, reading by the last light of the setting sun. Seeing him approaching she smiled and set her book aside, but frowned when he came closer.

"Severus? Is everything alright, are you hurt?" She asked with genuine concern. She was always kind to him in all the time he'd known her, even though she put on a front of cold indifference to everyone, she had always taken to Severus. She seemed to enjoy his conversation, wit, and intelligence in the rare and brief times they had interacted at school.

"All is well now, I've paid for an error of judgment." He looked about himself trying to figure out how she could tell. She stopped him with a hand on his cheek that held a conjured damp cloth and wiped at the dried blood on his face. She gave him a rueful smile at the shock and embarrassment on his face.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to treat you like a child, but you look a bit morbid with blood still smeared on your mouth. One might think there is some truth to the rumors about you." She teased him playfully. Severus grabbed her wrist and took the cloth from her to continue himself, giving her a quizzical look while he whipped his face.

"Rumors?" he gestured for her approval of his appearance and she nodded with a smile, and he banished the cloth.

"Yes they started out with conjecture that you were a bat that have now morphed into claims of proof of your vampirism." She explained with a laughing tone.

"In that case you've ruined my entire attempt at mystique! However will I capture the women's hearts now?" Severus jested with her in a mock injured tone. Narcissa turned and took in his full figure critically, looking him up and down, seeming to assess his every flaw and quality in those brief seconds.

"Well you are off to a good start, you look very smart in this suit, very noble cut. The buttons love, absolutely scream sensuality." Narcissa said batter her eyes at him coyly, outlining the favorable facets of his new look. It was a bit of an older fashion by a hundred or so years but that meant very little in the wizarding world. He'd seen a portrait of his uncle Aurelius wearing the same suit, who his mother said he resembled greatly. He had one of the elves locate the suit and then he sent it to the tailor and had it replicated in his size. He was quite happy with the results. He preened dramatically for Narcissa's benefit, straightening his cuffs and cravat haughtily.

"It's a very sensible suit that keeps me well covered while brewing. It was a style my Mother's brother was fond of. I've found I quite like it. Though Uncle Aurelius preferred it in grey." Severus said with a sheepish grin.

"It suits you. It makes me realize how much time has passed to see what a defined young man you have turned in to, from the skinny school boy who pestered me with questions on charms homework. I was very happy for you to learn from Lucius about your estates." She said it with sincerity, insinuating herself on to his arm before leading them both back to the house. Severus gave her a nod in thanks for her kind words and they walked in silence until they reached the door where she stopped him.

"Do be careful Severus. Don't make yourself a foot soldier in all of this, your much to intelligent for that." She advised with concern then she gave his hand a small squeeze before going inside, allowing him to hold the door for her, before disappearing into the large house.

* * *

Severus waited for the rest of the party to arrive in a quiet corner of the drawing-room. Rowle, Avery, Mulciber, and Wilkes were the other initiates that he was familiar with but there were others there as well some older. All in all there was nearly a dozen gathered total.

One by one every ten minutes they were called out of the room. When it was Severus's turn he was lead from the drawing-room to the larger ballroom where all the existing Death Eaters were gathered adorned in black hooded cloaks and engraved silver masks to hide their features. Until they completed their initiation they were not worthy to know the identities of their ranks.

Severus was escorted by two masked members through the parted crowd to the center of the room where Voldemort stood waiting. The escort on his right turned to face him while the one on his left pushed him roughly to his knees demanding,

"Bare your left arm."

Severus removed his frock coat laying it beside him and then unbuttoned the cuff of his white linen shirt and rolled his sleeve up his arm. The same escort then grabbed his bicep and wrist and held him tightly, with his inner arm facing up, while the first recited in chant,

"Bound by the blood of his soul, to serve and obey. This mark will bind you, call you, guide you, and rule you. Failure will bring you retribution in pain, only compliance absolute will bring you a recompense of pleasure. Swear your service to Lord Voldemort." He demanded, Severus immediately recognized Lucius' voice.

Severus repeated the incantation and as he did so Riddle pressed his wand to inside of his bared forearm, gouging the flesh and bleeding a viscous sludge into the wound from his wand tip. The black sludge crawled under his flesh like it was living, it blossomed and spread like spilled ink below the surface of the skin, branding it as it went. The mark depicted tortured demon skull with a twisting ouroboros weaving through its mouth and empty eye sockets as if sentient. The gash in the flesh sizzled as it healed leaving no trace of the cut when the incantation ended.

The branding itself strangely didn't cause any pain, instead an intense creeping cold that felt bone deep washed up and over him. He received a single jolt of pain shot through his arm, so cold that it was like a molten rod shoved through the marrow of his bones, when he spoke of pain in the chant. Then conversely a single wave of erotic blissful pleasure radiated from his core causing his breath to hitch and his pulse to race, giving him a taste of the rewards that are given for his compliance absolute.

"Into your service I'm sworn, my Lord." Severus said struggling to keep his voice even from the abating erotic sensations.

Lucius removed his own mask and offered Severus a folded cloak with a silver engraved mask with a wicked smirk, "Join us brother."

Severus took both items, grabbing his coat from the floor at his feet as he stood, and joined their ranks. Donning his coat, cloak and mask he stood beside Lucius as the initiations were completed and the Dark Lord took a moment to walk the circumference of the clearing looking at all his followers gathered there. Many with eager expressions for what was to come. Severus knew what to expect and couldn't help the dread that washed over him for what he would have to witness and possibly do that night. The Dark Lord had said he was excused from making a public show of devotion, but that didn't include the Revel. He brought his attention back to the center of the room when Voldemort spoke.

"Many of our new members require your aid to prove they are worthy to join our ranks. They will go out with a few of our seasoned members and return to us with a few suitable subjects for entertainment. Lucius, Rudolfus, Dolohov have graciously offered to be the mentors. You have two hours gentleman, your brothers and sisters await you." Voldemort said dismissing the initiates and their chaperones to go out and wreak havoc and mayhem on the unsuspecting muggle community.

Lucius led the group out of the manor to the gates so they could disapparate from the grounds. Speaking in low tones to Severus who walked beside him.

"This has its own rewards severus , you will soon see it's a cathartic act in its freedom of expression. Great time to test your experiments make sure you get the spells and moments just right. Antonin there has worked on the same spell for over a month, perfecting it till it is just right." Lucius said with a sadistic happiness in his voice.

"What's required of me?" Severus asked tonelessly.

"Oh, have a bit of wicked fun, cause damage, kidnap a few victims, and leave a dark mark among your wreckage. Very simple stuff this. Made for the simplest of minds to accomplish the greatest amount of physical and emotional damage on our enemy." Severus' anxiety didn't lessen any from his explanation and moments later they were told their destination and disapparated with multiple loud pops.

They appeared in a sparse grove opposite of a small farming town. The houses were decently spaced not crammed on top of each other like those found inside inner city limits, and they all had large stretches of property behind them. Some had various livestock animals, barns, and small crops, but most of the actual farming seemed to have been done away with, making room for comfortable family saw a few yards display the telltale signs of young children, littered with toys and sports equipment as though the children had just run inside for dinner. Severus broke in to a sweat as they started for the houses; each veteran motioning for four initiates to follow as they separated into three groups and went different directions.

Lucius lead Severus, Avery, Mulciber, and Wilkes down the street a few houses to a well-lit three-story home. Severus felt his heart stop when he read the sign on the front of the house that Lucius indicated as their target.

"McKinnon Place"


	18. The Black One Comes II (9,025)

A/N: SEE END OF CHAPTER.

Mood music: 'Doomsday' by Nero - same song as last chapter since it's really just one long one, I just forgot to post it.

**Content Warning: Mature , 17+, Rated R, for Rape - Torture - Gore - Angst mentioned and/or implied  
**

(nothing overly explicit as I'm not good at really dark stuff and I couldn't help but offset it with a teeny fluff to ease the bite.)

Disclaimer: not mine, no money!

* * *

**Chapter 17: The Black One Comes - Part II**

Severus felt his heart stop when he read the sign on the front of the house that Lucius indicated as their target.

"McKinnon Place"

No. Anywhere but here. Severus pleaded internally. What were the chances? This had to be some test. Why would they choose this place of all others on the night he would be forced to join a revel? Severus pulled back deep into his occlusion to regain his composure to keep the others from seeing his distress, trying to consider what options he had.

Decisively he stepped forward through the gate and indicated he would enter from the back of the home, and before they could change the plan he transformed to smoky cloud and shot away. On his way toward the back of the house he tried to reach out and feel for the wards on the home hoping to find an alarm ward that he could trigger to alert the residence. He hoped that by some miracle that it would be enough warning for the family inside to escape, or even better that no one would be home at all.

Bloody hell they have absolutely no defenses but anti-muggle and notice-me-not wards. What were they thinking? How could anyone be so blatant and intentionally dense? Severus swore profusely to himself as he landed soundless on a second floor terrace and quickly broke in and entered a dark empty bedroom. He had very little time to alert them before the real ambush would begin. He could hear the faint sounds of talking and laughter and he started for the sound of people in the house stomping as loudly as he could. As he'd hoped it elicited shouts of surprise from the people below. He barreled out of the room toward the sound of the patriarch shouting orders, down the stairs and through a hallway before rounding a corner into a living room where the family and their company had gathered.

Severus stood facing them disguised in his cloak and mask and waited just long enough for them to react to his presence. An older man who he assumed was Mr. McKinnon stepped in front of his wife and two daughters protectively. Further in the room he saw James Potter step in front of Lily with Sirius Black at his side. Severus ducked back around the door jamb moments before getting showered by plaster and splintered wood from the handful of spells they shot at him.

"This way!" Severus heard the distorted voice of one of the other Death Eaters say and they brought the rest of the group to where he was crouched outside the entryway to the room.

Why haven't they disapprated? Severus wondered. He was answered moments later when he heard Mrs. McKinnon say,

"They placed an anti-apparition ward!" Marlene answered,

"The Floo has been blocked as well. Father what do we do?" Severus guessed that Lucius had secured them when they arrived.

"We fight them off! Girls get down behind that sofa and aim what spells you can at the door. One of you watch out for them trying to come through the window." He heard James take the lead. Taking a deep breath Severus leaned around the entryway aiming spells into the room in directions he prayed wouldn't ricochet and hit anyone.

Severus motioned for the other Death eaters to hold a moment, indicating he was going to go in and distract their fire. Lucius nodded to him, content to let him lead and prove he could handle himself in this part of the Revels.

Severus dove into the room throwing up a shield charm, as he made for the right side of the room where he could see the girls partially behind the sofa. Ducking behind a high-backed chair he reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of knuts and sickles. He had four coins that he could turn into portkeys. That meant he could get the women out, and hope that they had a hold of one of the men when it the charm activated. He set the portkey destinations for the forest near the Lupin's home and gave them a five-minute countdown.

Once he was done he disillusioned himself, and began inching himself closer to the defenders.

He levitated each coin with as much care as he could manage, discretely dropping them on each person. The youngest, Mary's McKinnon, he dropped inside the top of her trainers. Lily and Marlene's into the pockets of shirt and denims they wore. Mrs. McKinnon, he hoped would forgive him when he panicked knowing he was running out of time and dropped hers into her generous cleavage.

By the time he was done he had little more than a minute to try to take down the men with stunners and hope the women grabbed on to them before their portkeys activated.

Sirius got clever and had grabbed a tea-tray in his free hand and was using it to ricochet spells off it like a shield, successfully blocking most spells heading for the girls, keeping the duel at a complete stand-off. Severus moved to the opposite end of the room from the other Death eaters to stand in front of the large windows, not seeing that Wilkes had circled around from outside and was taking aim at the window. Severus canceled his invisibility and aimed three silent stunners at the backs of the men. From his comrades perspective there would be no doubt that Severus has trapped their prey.

"Alfred!" Mrs. McKinnon jumped up grabbing her husband struggling to pull him from where he was laying limply over the back of the sofa fully exposed to any spells sent his way.

After stunned the men he heard Lily cry out in surprise and looked up at her just as Wilkes blasted the windows out behind him. The force of the blast knocked him flat covering him with large beams of wood and chunks of plaster leaving him slightly dazed. The girls had taken cover when they saw Wilkes and seeing Severus an arm's length from their feet they scrambled to get away from him and grab the wands they had dropped. Then Lily and Marlene jumped up and tried to guard the matron and the youngest girl from both directions.

Knowing the portkeys were activating in moments Severus did the only thing he could think of from his downed position. He aimed his wand between Lily's legs at Mary and silently cast 'Imperio' sending a jet of green light that smacked her in the chest. Then he commanded her to grab James and Sirius and not let go. Her body leapt up to obey the command and dove over the sofa and landing on top of the two unconscious young men on the other side.

"Mary no stay down!" Was Marlene's panicked cry when she saw her ten year old sister jump over the sofa.

But the next moment Mary's portkey activated and she and the two young men disappeared.

"Mary!" Marlene shrieked right before her portkey activated. Severus started pushing debris from the blown in wall off himself and tried pushing himself to his feet. Looking down at him hand he saw a knut flashing orange then glow blue before it winked out. When he looked back up it was to see Mrs. McKinnon still holding her husband also disappear then to stare into Lily's green eyes mirrors of each others terror, as he realized he failed to get her to safety.

Her portkey must have fallen out of her shirt pocket when she ducked for cover from the blast.

The next moment the other initiates had her disarmed, bound, and gaged while Lucius helped him to his feet. Thinking quickly Severus sent a silent 'Stupefy' at Lily to knock her out, so that he could talk without being recognized.

"A bit much isn't it, Snape?" Avery said with a distorted voice.

"I didn't disguise my voice, and she would recognize it. She'd also have absolutely no doubt of it if you go throwing around my name you twit." Severus tore into him releasing his anger and frustration at the situation on the dimwitted man.

"They must have had portkeys, I just checked the wards and they are still in place." Wilkes said hoping that no one would call to light that he nearly killed one of their own with his badly timed spell.

"There is no way that ten your old girl disapparated with two side-alongs. Portkeys is the only answer." Mulciber chimed in.

Meanwhile Severus busied himself with dusting plaster dust off himself while appearing nonchalant, except there was no mistaking he was angry about the amount of debris on his clothes. He tried to think of something, anything he could do to get Lily away. If he even so much as went near her, he could be under suspicion for placing a portkey on her when she disappeared, because that was exactly what he wanted to do. No if he was going to get her out that way he'd have to do it from a distance like before and there wasn't spells flying every which way to distract people from seeing a few floating coins.

"I'm going to check the rooms upstairs, Wilkes can take this floor and the basement." Severus said and moved for the entryway. Lucius grabbed his arm and stopping him as he walked by.

"How very cunning on you to cause an explosive duel then slip behind their defenses invisible amid the chaos. I must admit if they hadn't managed to activate the portkeys you would have had them all captured rather efficiently." Lucius praised him and then laughed heartily as he continued,

"It's a bad day when they start thinking ahead and carrying port keys around. It would be near impossible to catch anyone if they all had them."

Severus made for the upstairs rooms; when he was far enough away he conjured his patronus, a silvery Raven, and sent it off with a message to the Lupins. He made a good show of searching the rooms before returning downstairs. Just when Severus was about to lose hope that there was no way out, he did what he felt was like mentally slapping himself; he considered what Old man Snape would say.

_Think boy! Use your brain and stop running around like a sniveling idiot. Lily is caught and you know that there is nothing you can do that won't either; compromise your situation, or ruin any chances you have with Lily forever._ Old man Snape's voice sneered at him.

_You've already been told there is no you and Lily forever. Stop hanging on to it. Get your priorities straight!_ He could even hear the old man give a longsuffering sigh.

_These are the facts. You have more than just Lily to consider in this choice. There is an innumerable amount of people whose lives hang on the choices you make. Your cover is the number one, most important thing._

_You. can. not. be. compromised._

Severus nodded, listening to the old man Snape voice in his head, while he headed for the stairs to rejoin the others.

_Knowing what Lily is going to be facing when you arrive back at the manor, your best chance at keeping her from coming to too much harm, is to have the situation firmly in your grasp. You are a master of the Praesum! Use your abilities to manipulate your memories. Approach the Dark Lord with a feasible evil reason why you must have Lily and no one else can have her. You will give yourself away completely if you ask the revel to stop against her entirely. But if you convince him that you can persuade her where Rudolphus failed to, YES! That's it! That is how you convince him that you can do it._ Old man Snape's voice died out in his head returning to his own as his doubts about doing such vile acts over came him.

_So then, - what then?! I have to do that to her too, against her will? I'll be no better than Potter, hell I'll be worse than Potter! She'll despise the very sight of me, and I would agree with her._

Old Man Snape snorts derisively.

_ENOUGH! How many pieces of your soul do you think you will manage to keep in this? How many times will you be faced with innocents and have to make the same deductions you face right now? Keep your cover intact, weigh the costs of which action is more important and who ultimately must suffer for the … Morgana save me I'm really going to say it..._

_For the greater good._

Old man Snape continued scathingly in that silken razor-edged voice of his.

_Do yourself a favor right now put away your purity and your sensibilities take a firm hold of your depravities that you hide in your dark corners. wrap yourself in them, Clothe the nakedness of your purity like Eve and bite the apple. Embrace your inner serpent and swallow whole your sensibilities, for once and for always, step out of that paradise of your ignorance, yea Eden, and join me in reality._

Severus went weak in the knees as he reached the bottom of the stairs and he sagged against the wall for support, feeling his chest constrict with the weight of the choices before him, his inner turmoil causing him physical agony. Old Man Snape spoke up again this time with gentle fervency, goading him on encouragingly.

_You must accept that you will have to take Lily yourself. In doing so you can prevent her blood from being shed tonight; her life being forfeit too soon and risking it all. You can try to minimize the damage to her psyche if you can somehow manage to shield her mind from what is happening to her physically. Pull her consciousness so deep within her that she doesn't experience what happens. You can do this. You must do it._

_I must do it._

Severus pulled himself upright, straightening his robe and mask before entering the living room where everyone stood waiting to return to the Dark Lord and complete the Revel. Severus followed the group out as they left the home, barely aware of his surroundings has deep in his mind he was preparing his memories to be presented to the Dark Lord. Avery cast a 'Mosmorde' over the house and they saw the two other groups also converging on the street with their captives in tow. All at once the three groups disapparated leaving the once quiet farming town ravaged with three dark marks flying high in the air.

* * *

The Lupins were sitting comfortably in the library at Morgraig Castle still visiting with Eileen when Severus' patronus flew in through the window, circling the room before landing on Remus' shoulder and Severus' voice issued from its beak eerily.

"The McKinnons were attacked, they've portkeyed to the forest near your home and may need medical attention, Potter and Black are with them."

Severus' voice in the message caught, ending in a strangled whisper.

"Lily has been taken!"

They sprang into action, Eileen activated the floo and the Lupins stepped through and rushed out of their home in to the cool summer night calling out for the refugees. had the forethought to send his wolf patronus to tell them to send up a red flare so they could bring them to safety. And within moments a single red flare appeared and they were able to rush off to help them.

Eileen stayed behind and grabbed the supply bag that they had prepared and sending a house elf to deliver it to Mrs. Lupin. Eileen felt useless waiting and not being able to go hale as well but told herself she needed to be there incase Severus returned injured, she began to pace the room worriedly hoping that Severus was OK.

When initiate group arrived back at the manor the large group of veteran Death Eaters were lounging in various room of Malfoy Manor socializing and politically maneuvering themselves among their ranks. It was when he same back to the house he realized that not all of the member present had the same status. Only a quarter of the members there actually bore the Dark Mark, which he observed was reserved for the enforcers and the men and women considered most loyal to Voldemort. Below them in rank were members who were given a cloak and silver mask, to hide their identities and protect their positions as spies and agents. Further below them were the least useful or inept, whose involvement was so little that they were not granted the anonymity of a mask, and were only given the cloak as token for their support.

Those present seemed to group themselves this way in their social interactions, the main ballroom remained full of the middle group containing the largest number of members very few willing to mingle with their lessers that gathered in the drawing room. These lesser unmasked members very few successfully managed to alter their orbits and increase their station enough to be welcome in the ballroom. The marked were treated with fear, respect, and deference as they moved through the ranks as they pleased.

This understanding of the ranks would be extremely valuable to him in manipulating information and individuals towards this goal. Severus mused on the discovery momentarily allowing his thoughts reprieve from the arduous task he was undergoing preparing for his approach to the Dark Lord.

The initiates were given a full two hours to complete the first half of the Revel, but they returned in under an hour with their quarry and were lead to a large circular dungeon room that had shackles hung about the room on the wall. It was here that they chained the captives, who were all still stunned, and then left to rejoin the group and wait for Voldemort to finish with the meetings he had with his financial and political backers. After which all but the marked members would leave and the festivities of the Revel would begin.

Severus managed to remain undisturbed in the main ballroom standing near a large fireplace with his drink in hand. Anyone who attempted to approach him could feel the animosity radiating off him with his magic heavy in the air around him. Severus was not aware that he was radiate such an aura but he was grateful none the less as he put the finishing touches on the altered memories for Voldemort.

When the charismatic man entered the room he gave a brief rousing oration. As the manor cleared, many people could be heard discussing how close Riddle was to becoming the Minister of Magic, and how he would lead them to a new and greater magical world.

The enforcers gathered around, the house seeming much quieter lacking the whispers of another hundred people, then they all kneeled on one knee before their lord looking up at him with eager eyes, their faces unmasked during this meeting of the inner circle. Voldemort paced before them as he spoke,

"My loyal friends, your new brothers have returned bringing with them the fruits of their labors. Their mentors reporting to me of their success, we have six muggle captives for you to mete your appetites, and hone your skills on, and for your pleasure." At this he stopped pacing briefly and shook his robe off his hand revealing his drawn wand, carried with the refinement that spoke of royalty.

"Regretfully one of our groups proved to be only marginally successful. Instead of bringing me a family of four blood traitors they have brought me a single defiant muggleborn witch. Lucius would you care to enlighten us why your group has failed in their task?" The Dark Lord questioned. The tension of the room was palpable as the wolves smelled fresh blood about to be spilled and possibly an advancement in the air. Lucius visibly paled but he remained completely composed as he stood regally from his bowed position on the floor and addressed Riddle.

"My Lord these young initiates performed well, in so much as we had not only the McKinnon family trapped but their three guests which included the outspoken and defiant James Potter, his prodigal friend Sirius Black, and Miss Lily Evans whom you yourself had asked be contacted and recruited for the cause which she refused and then punished for." Lucius explained and here Riddle lost his patience with Lucius,

"I do not need to be reminded of the orders I have given Lucius. What I need to know is why your standing orders to capture the McKinnon evaded your group, or do you seek to take the entirety of the blame for this failure." Voldemort yelled at Lucius who stammered,

"N -n-n-no my Lord, my apologies I merely mean to s-s-say -"

"Silencio!" Voldemort hissed and he surged forward getting into Lucius' face which had turned purple from the effort to speak being inhibited.

"Tell me only why this group has failed, and no more of your banalities!" With a jerk He released the spell and Lucius sputtered for a moment. Severus decided it would be best if he stepped in and spare Lucius any further anger from the dark lord. It seemed he still had not yet learned to curb his political tongue and Riddle had no patience for it.

"If I may my Lord?" Severus interrupted dipping his head low in his bow and waiting for permission to speak. Riddle took a step back from Lucius with an air of surprise and gave Severus a calculating eye.

"Proceed Severus." He said as he returned to his position in front of the gathering and paced slowly.

"My Lord everything was in place, wards preventing escape and out targets as Lucius has said where surrounded and trapped, it was only a matter of time before they were subdued. I managed to flank then and stun the three men who were guarding the women. I was incapacitated when Wilkes didn't see me flanking and blew a wall up behind me in his own attempt to flank the group. In the ensuing moments of the dust clearing the women seemed to have activated portkeys and vanished with the stunned men. Leaving only Ms. Evans behind. I have every confidence that they all would have been captured if not for the portkeys, my lord. They were caught completely by surprise, not even a single alarm ward in place to alert them of danger." Severus said the last with a snide and mocking tone that implied the job had been almost too easy. Riddle narrowed his eyes at him, his suspicion clearly written on his face. Severus knew he wouldn't trust his word completely and was unsurprised when Riddle turned his wand on Mucliber.

"Legilimens."

Satisfied with what he saw in Mulcibers mind and it's congruence with what Severus had claimed he seemed placated for the time being and resumed pacing with a thoughtful expression while caressing his wand. The premature sighs of relief that were heard from the members of his group where loud in the ensuing silence.

"Very well, all the initiates have therefore fulfilled their duties and I am pleased with their efforts. However of all our newest member only one came to me prepared, Severus you may be excused from proving your devotion here tonight, while the rest of you -"

"If I may my Lord." Severus interrupted him, and the entire room collectively gasped. Voldemort slowly turning to Severus from his pacing and pinning him with an evil glare.

Severus returned the glare with his own look of malicious excitement, and continued when Riddle said nothing likely still fuming in his shock and outrage.

"Please my Lord, allow me to participate?" He then met Riddles furious gaze and touched his fingers to his mind in invitation. In his anger for being treated with such a lack of respect Voldemort flew at Severus and yanked his head back by his hair and viciously tore into his mind. Not speaking or using his wand as he forced entry into Severus mind. Severus was expecting a more vicious and suffocating experience than his last encounter earlier that day, and while Voldemort's presence in his mind was an unstoppable force, Severus' mastery of the Praesum made his mind an immovable object. Severus deflected the direction of Riddle's force, as he tried to divide the waters of his mind and peer into their depths. Deflecting it to the memories he had prepared and were floating on the surface of his ocean as it rocked and swayed from the force, the waters receding from it only to glide back into place when the force was deflected.

_Riddle watched the scenes he had prepared with intense scrutiny, still very angry, but also very curious. He saw Severus memories of his obsession with Lily all growing up. Of watching her jealously as she made nice with his bitter enemy Potter, culminating on when Lily began dating James._

_ He showed himself using legilimency on her under false pretense and seeing the formation of their soul imprint. He allowed the rage and hatred and jealously he had felt to color his mind to let Riddle feel the echoes of his intense emotions that he before kept locked behind his occlusion. Then Severus showed him of being attacked by James and Sirius causing her to turn against James at last._

_He shows Riddle how she finally acknowledges Severus, but then how Lily and James still struggle through a relationship with Lily coming to him in tears when she and James fight. He shows him how he comforts her all while manipulating her into giving him what he wants. Lingering longingly on their copulation in the Room of Requirement._

_He follows this with him keeping Lily at arms length not wanting to be seen with her impure filth, having got what he wanted from her all along, her virginity. The last memory he shows of when she publicly attacks him and declares him her enemy for his affiliation with The Dark Lord. He fills himself with all the anger and jealousy he's ever had toward James for having lily when he wanted her. Filled it even more with as much carnal lust, and depraved fantasies toward Lily. He showed him how much anger he had for her dismissal of him and his desire for revenge on her and on James as her lover. His desire to ruin that soul imprint they had that was so pure._

Riddle stepped back from the waters and turned to scrutinize Severus in corporeal form. Severus stood before him with sweaty palms twirling his fingers anxiously with a look of lascivious glee in his eyes. He started speaking excitedly.  
"My Lord, please grant me her exclusively. I know you had ordered her to be brought into the fold and Rudolfus failed. But sir, I wont fail!" Severus clasped his hand together and begged as he continued with crazed fervency,

"I can take not just her body and but her mind. I can use the Praesum, Rudolfus can't do that. " He waved his arm dismissively, then began again excitedly approaching Riddle in his excitement till he was standing just in front of him and staring into his fathomless eyes.

"I can use the soul bond, Anima Vinculi, and force her to bow to me, to join your cause. Best of all, it will destroy Potter when he learns I've taken her!" Severus drop to his knees in front of Riddle,

"Please my Lord I beg you allow me to have her tonight in the revel, I will show them all my devotion to your cause show them the true and proper place of that filth. Fit only as our slaves, to feed our hunger and desires." Severus spat as he stayed on his knees his eye hopeful and possibly a little desperate.

"Very well, your devotion is admirable. I will grant your request merely to satisfy my curiosity on a long-standing debate over power versus love and which is stronger. I wonder can your magic overpower her Love for your enemy? It is intriguing." Riddle stood in deep thought momentarily before he continued,

"I will not however, overlook your lack of respect." Riddle then left his mind, and releasing his grip on Severus black hair with a forceful thrust causing him to fall backwards. Voldemort grasped his freshly marked arm and dug his thumb into the mark activating the torture curse embedded into the demon skull. Severus refused to hide behind his shields and took the full force of his punishment crying out in agony. The curse was not dissimilar to the Cruciatus curse with the feeling of hot knifes melting your nerves, but with the additional opposite anguish of a bone deep freeze, that was as cold as the Cruciatus was hot, freezing the marrow of his bones. When the Dark Lord released him after only a few second he was left twitching and shivering from the aftershocks and panting heavily.

"Our new brother Severus wishes to demonstrate for us all the true place of the muggleborn filth in our society and how we can best control them." Voldemort said approaching the front of the group, in perfect mimicry of a lecturing professor. He turned and looked out over his eager students before him, and spread his arms in a wide dramatic gesture as he took in their captivated expressions.

"Come, let us go and meet our guests."

* * *

Lily woke up blinking blearily and trying to understand what she was seeing. She looked around in bafflement wondering if she really had woken or if she was still asleep. Then she managed to shed her grogginess and clarity hit her like a punch to the face by a giant. She looked around and saw the interior of a dark dungeon, with other people tied and chained to the wall on either side of her.

I was captured by the Death Eaters! She thought in horror as her panic overtook all other senses.

She remembered what she'd read in the paper of the muggle girls that were attacked and brutally murdered in Godric's Hollow last summer. They tortured them and repeatedly, cut their flesh before defiling them. The girls ultimately died from blood loss from their wounds. These images ran rampant in her mind as she devolved into insensate terror, tears and mucus running down her face and over her gag. The other people beside her only three were adults, two men and a woman middle aged, or around her parents age if they were alive.

This though only added to her state.

Mum and Dad! She sobbed in her mind. And it's been all my fault because I'm a witch. Tuney is right. I've brought it all on myself.

The others around her began to wake and it was then she realized there were 2 other young women near her age and a little boy that was probably eight, they all stirred and one by one realized their situation each succumbed to his or her fear. Sobs, moans, and whimpers in the near pitch black room was only offset by a distant dripping of water, that echoed loudly in the cavernous room.

It wasn't long before an orb a light came shooting into the room splitting in a many different parts, then zipping off to light the various lamps about the room. Following shortly behind was a tall very handsome pale man with dark hair, with an oppressing aura of power that radiated around him causing her bones to chill with dread. Behind him filing in slowly was more than a score of people mostly men dressed in black hooded cloaks, and engraved silver masks. The only thing identifying of any of them was various shades of hair shown around their mask, their eye color, and the pattern engraved on their mask.

Voldemort Lily cringed just thinking his name. His eyes shone with an evil fire in them, and he mouth spread to a charismatic smile as he took in her form appreciatively.

"Ah yes the star of our show tonight. Miss Evans, So good of you to join us this evening. We are all so eager to see what entertainment you have in store for us. We have even hand selected your handler. And he is most eager to meet you." Voldemort turned toward the hall leading into the large circular dungeon and Lily followed his gaze to see the last cloaked and masked Death Eater enter and walk straight toward her instead of filing around the side of the room like the rest.

When he entered the room she heard the whimpering of the prisoners around her grow more frantic and she cried harder, frantically struggling in her bonds desperately wishing she could get free. She shook her head and begged him with her eyes to have mercy. She could feel his anger rolling off of him as his magic responded to his emotions causing the air crackle the waves of chilling malevolence. She could barely take her eyes off him, his mask shone brightly from the light making holes for the eyes even darker with their black orbs glittering at her, and he has wisps of long black hair showing around his mask and shoulders. As he stood before her he commanded her attention with his presence and she fearfully met his intense black gaze.

Suddenly she no longer felt as if she would be under attack by him. In a rather subtle shift in his body language, he made her feel as though his anger was directed at the room of Death Eaters and not her. She still felt his anger and dangerously powerful aura of uncontrolled magic but some how felt calmed and protected when she looked into his fathomless eyes.

She followed this black one's gaze into the room and saw Death Eaters moving large apparatuses around, and watched as he transfigured a cruel looking table, that had what looked to be dried blood stains on it, into a knee-high round stone platform about the size of a large bed. When Lily realized this she started to cry once more making pleading sounds through her gag at the man she moments ago felt she could trust. She heard the Death Eaters general murmur of excitement and leer's at her. The black one walked to the stone platform and removed his cloak, pointing his wand at it he muttered a few spells she could not hear and then he was shaking it out revealing it to be of silken material and much larger able to cover the whole platform.

Lily's legs gave out and she hung heavily from the chains that kept her upright as she screamed pleadingly though her gag. Her distress only served to send a wave of approval through the crowd gathered, and increase the panicked cries of the other prisoners. The black one turned on her his head tilted to the side slightly as he approached her his wand drawn but not pointed at her. He reached out to her and she flinched from him but he grasped her face firmly forcing her to meet his eyes.

With a waved of his wand he released her from her bonds entirely including her gag catching her around the waist as she nearly collapsed from the unexpected move. Lily immediately began to struggle and try to run away but her threw his weight into her pressing her against the wall. Both hands by her head and his between her legs lifting her of the ground and her feet. Lily felt a courageous rush of anger overwhelm her once she wasn't bound and helpless. She struggled against him but he was able to keep her pinned effortlessly. She stared defiantly in his eyes when found he efforts fruitless, and immediately she felt calm, safe, and protected by him again. She recognized it for what it was and she close her eyes shaking her head.

No! You won't make me believe you are here to save me. Get out of my head! She thought, hoping that he heard her message. She took that answer as a yes when he roughly pulled her from the wall and yanked her arm high up behind her back and shoved her to walk to the platform in front of him.

The Death Eaters were shouting catcalls out at her and yelling their pure-blooded propaganda. When they reached the platform the sound in the room was a roar of voices clamoring jeers and instructions to the black one who held her. He jerked on her arm and twisted her round to face him and she met his gaze with trying to hold her chin high but her defiance was waning as she saw him point his wand at her.

The room lurched and swayed around her and she screamed trying to grab on to him to catch her balance but he no longer held her. Then she realized it wasn't the room moving but she was being levitated to the platform and laid in its center on her back. As soon as she touch the silken surface the bindings rose up and clamped about her wrists and ankles anchoring her in place.

"No please! PLEASE. Don't! I beg you. Please!" She said when she found her voice once and for all. The mocking from the faceless crowd was unbearable and she knew they would not grant her mercy so she shut her mouth.

They want to break me they want to see this crush my soul. I won't give them the satisfaction! She vowed to herself. She looked back at the black on who was removing his suit coat lined with many buttons with a deliberate pace she felt was meant to scare her. When he finally took it off and set it aside she was surprised to see the white linen shirt he wore under a black vest. She had expected him to be wearing all black.

He never took his mask off but since he had taken on his cloak she could see his mass of long dark silky hairs that struck her as familiar. She didn't have a chance to explore this thought as he pointed his wand at her and cast as spell that left her completely naked. She was immediately reliving the same mortification she felt that horrible day more than a year ago at school. Only she didn't have Severus to save her dignity and cover her, or threaten anyone if they say they looked at her. She broke into tears her face hot with the shame of hearing everyone yelling lewd remarks appraisingly. She closed her eyes to hide from it turning her head to the side trying to block it all out, wishing to disappear.

She heard the cheers go up for him when he apparently removed the last of his own clothes but she refused to look determined to hide behind her closed eyes, and tensing for the pain she was expecting. She felt him brush her and he straddled over the top of her and she felt the heat coming from his body that was at odds with the cold waves of anger his magic radiated. His hand came and grabbed her face again, a thumb brushing a tear from her cheek the gentleness of the touch made her open her eyes and they met with is black ones from behind his mask that he still wore.

Suddenly the sounds of the people faded and she was no longer in the horrible dungeon, but a luxurious bed staring into the eyes of the same man, without his mask. He looked middle-aged and had a trimmed black beard. He never spoke to her but she felt comforted, peaceful, and protected. Her mind worried, _What's happening, where did the horrible dungeon go?_

He caressed her face again and she felt more from his touch, and it was confusing to her trying to understand the emotions she felt.

She looked into his eyes as they bored into hers searchingly. Seeing only her confusion he took on a determined look and leaned in and kissed her hard on the lips. The last thing Lily expected was something as tender as a kiss from a man she was expecting to rape her, what surprised her more was her own rising emotions and arousal. The intensity of it all she felt that it was something she had felt before, and she briefly recalled a the first time she had of kissed James. She remembered her conversation with Severus that had made her realize that James had used Legilimency that time they had first kissed and made then connection to her current situation.

_So this is all in my mind then? Why is he doing this? It's very intimate, I can feel his emotions, just like with James._

The thought jolted her out of her musing as she realized exactly what she was feeling from him. Such tender affection, fierce protectiveness, loyalty, devotion, and sadness. The sadness nearly overwhelmed her when she realized what it meant. Who ever this was, he was just as victim to their situation as she and he was showing her now that he could make the whole experience so much different. She felt grateful that he would do this for her. She was completely separate from her body, fully centered and focused on here and now in her mind, and no longer feeling the fear, terror, humiliation and violation of her physical situation.

_This gentle sweet man who ever he is, is a good man. I can feel it, as if I know it in my soul_. She thought not knowing accurate her word really were.

It took her only moments of being tense in his arms against his kiss as she processed all this information, he kept his mouth pressed to hers tentatively waiting for her to respond and kiss him back.

She assumed he felt her emotions as they changed from confusion, to sadness, to gratitude and then to admiration, because she felt his relief he felt and requested to deepen their kiss, running his tongue lightly over her lips. Lily responded by opening to him, tasting the spice of his tongue on hers as she wrapped her arms around him and pulling him tightly to her. She realized that she wasn't tied down any longer, and guessed that she hadn't been since they had entered her mind. He left her mouth and began trailing kisses down her neck, his beard sending shivers up her spine as it tickled her. Lily arched up unto him, her hips meeting his, trapping his erection between her thighs. He moaned into her neck, going completely still just holding her tightly. She felt warm tears on her neck and shoulder and grabbed his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks. Placing soothing kisses over his closed eyes. He looked up at her, his eyes begged her unspoken, until he finally gasped and asked in a choked voice.

"Please, tell me it's OK, or I can't live with myself?" He begged her. Lily smiled at him, she considered or a moment.

_Was this OK? It wasn't what she was expecting at all considering her situation. She enjoyed the emotions, they were not unwelcome no matter how little she understood. She felt strangely that she could trust him, she had this inkling feeling of familiarity, like she had known him all along. Would she rather he didn't hide her away from the reality? That he didn't do this? No. She knew it would break her to have to endure the reality of their situation and she found she was willing to accept this one instead. If she was honest she wanted to connect with him. There was a pull that drew her to him and she just wanted to keep finding solace in his arms_.

"It's OK." She said and pulled him to her mouth, she pushed at him and followed him the wouldn't break their kiss when they sat up. Then she pushed him to his back and straddled him, rubbing herself on him tantalizingly, making him moan.

"I submit my soul to you." he whispered in her ear, grabbing handfuls of her long silken hair and he kissed her fervently.

She knew innately that he meant his words, he was giving her a piece of his soul, and she need only accept it in trade for hers. She felt the magic of it heavy in the air, waiting to be completed. She analyzed herself and found every fiber of her being told her to accept, her soul felt jubilant ready to leap from her chest and into his at her command.

_This is right, this was who I am meant to be with. I don't know his name, but I don't need to. I know his soul._ she thought, then she answered him looking him in those familiar black eyes that she felt she had known her whole life.

"And I submit mine to you."

Their coupling was slow and tender, every moment savored, and cherished. She felt she could spend eternity in his arms, and felt sad when she knew she would have to return back to the dungeon. He soothed her worries, sending his love and devotion to her.

"When it is over will I live?" Lily asked, not sure if she wanted to know the truth.

"I don't know, but I will do everything I can to make sure of it." He answered.

"What will happen to us?" Lily asked as she twirled the small black hairs on his chest with her finger.

"Once you are safe, and it is safe for me to do so, I will come find you. If you still want me that is, I'm yours." He promised sadly. She felt as if he was saying goodbye to her forever. Before she could ask him what he meant he wrapped his arms around her and the world around them vanished leaving them standing in a place she recognized, next to a fountain with a statue of herself dancing. He turned and looked at him and asked

"Where are we?" she realized they were both fully dressed, he in his suit and she in a light summer dress. He put his arm around her shoulder and pointed down at the water of the fountain. "It is over, and time to return." He said. Curious, Lily reached out and touched the pictures flowing in the water and immediately fell back in to her body.

She was staring into a silver mask and a single tear fell from it and landed on her cheek. Dread filled her, her up and her fear returned with force, such a stark contrast to the dream like realm she had just come from. Now that their fun was all over they were going to kill her, and she hoped it ended quickly.

* * *

Severus fought hard to control his heartbreak but was unable to stop the single tear from falling. He'd initiated a soul bond and she had accepted. He wondered if she knew the gravity of what she had done or if she was living impulsively in the moment, the way she had when James initiated an imprint. He sat back on his feet in a kneeling position from where he had just raped the women he love so that he could save her from a worse fate at the hands of others. Even still he wasn't sure he could live with himself.

The other Death Eaters had already turned their attention away to the other prisoners. The sound of screams and raucous laughter reached his ears but he felt numb to it. He dragged himself up not looking at her, unable to bare looking at her any longer. He could hear her sobs behind him as he dressed, no doubt witnessing the horrors of the newest victims fate.

Riddle approached him as he dressed and ran a hand down his bare left arm sensually, passing a trailing finger over the snake in his mark. It burst to life sending him completely insensate with pleasure that he dropped to his knees and sat bemused and awed at the overwhelming sensation. He needed more of it. It made the pain of his guilt and loathing go away.

He shook himself when it ended and felt even more filthy for having enjoyed it. He had to focus, he reminded himself he had to get Lily out. Once he was fully dressed he took notice of the room, and immediately wished he hadn't. The Death Eaters wasted no time with their prey, the bodies of their prisoners already lay mangled and broken. The imagery of their destruction alone was more disturbing than any he could remember from Old Man Snape's memories.

Severus looked for Riddle and saw him weaving amid the ranks gifting pleasure to the members who pleased him with their actions. He approached the evil man with loathing and asked,

"My Lord, the girl is bound to me. What would you have me do with her?" He held his breath for the answer he had some faith he would want her alive to test his theory and he also hope that it meant she could leave in one piece. Well, minus the part of her soul he too in the bonding

"Her friends are seeking her. I want you to let them find her and believe they rescued her or that she escaped. You can use her to help you gain entry and favor with Dumbledore when you finish your Mastery. But for now let her believe it is all over. Well done Severus, you have made me very proud." He said and he resumed his roaming.

Lily looked terrified when he went back to her as she'd just watched the torture and murder of two families. When she saw him approaching her she started begging incoherently through her sobs. He unbound her hands and feet then he wrapped her shaking sobbing body in the cloth and transfigured it back into his cloak before gathered her in his arms and carried her from the dungeon and out of the manor.

He disapparated to Spinner's End which he'd left as it was when his father was removed. It was dusty and in disarray but it would work. He'd appeared inside his mothers room and quickly found some of her old clothes and transfigured them to fit Lily. Handing them to her she finally came out of her shock and looked at him, taking the clothes and putting them on silently.

"I'm not going to die?" She asked in a bemused voice as she dressed.

Severus didn't answer her, and once she was ready he grabbed her by the hand and disapparated her to Godric's Hollow, based on a photograph he'd seen of the place in the newspaper. He disillusioned them both and then held his wand in his hand and whispered,

"Point me!" quietly so Lily couldn't hear his voice and watched his wand rotate then snap the direction they needed to go to find the Potters house. He took her to the gate in front of the house. He reached down and placed a kiss on her wrist. When he pulled away she saw a small black raven branded there, and she gave him a quizzical look.

"So you don't forget me." He said.

Stepping behind her, he pointed his wand at her head and cast a memory charm on her, altering her memory to believe that she had escaped on her own. When her mind cleared and she looked around she saw the name of the owners of the house and pushed in through the gate. She likely triggered an alarm ward, because moments later James and Sirius were at the door with wands drawn.

Seeing that she was in safe hands Severus quietly slipped away in to the night, disapparating home to Morgraig when he was a safe distance away. He tried to comfort himself knowing that, his cover was intact, Lily was now safe, and the horrors of that night were finally over.

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A/N: Don't hate me! Just go with it - I swear it's all part of the plan. If you need to throw things at me I respectfully request pillows.

*hides behind chair*

oh and shout out to Kraco and flyingberry: you both know I love you right? This chapter is complete because they helped me to focus and refine what I was trying to get out here.

Also I'm running on serious lack of sleep so if I missed any grammar or something is just complete jibberish please drop me a PM and I'll fix it.

-iLexx


	19. Wherein Regulus Begins Plotting(4564)

A/N: Hello Readers,

Sorry to those of you that have reviewed that I have not responded to. I want you all to know your words and thoughts are always appreciated. Many of you have asked questions about where the Hermione story is, I can only promise that it is coming. There is much more to it than the Lily/Sev timeline, and from the looks of this monstrosity, this will be a very long story.

**MOOD MUSIC: 'My Heart is Refusing Me' by Loreen - go search it and put it on standby until you get to ~*~ **

Dislaimer: Anything you recognize from the HP universe is solely the creation and possession of JKR, who has made millions off it. I'm happy earning reviews for my little twist of her idea. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 18: Wherein Regulus Begins Plotting**

Regulus showed up at Morgraig early the next morning. He'd heard news from Remus about Lily's capture, then hours later of her escape. He had a foreboding sense that his friend had done something he would never be able to live with. Severus never thought things through when it came to Lily and Regulus had every intention to keep Severus from throwing away his efforts on Lily.

Severus didn't know all of what the Professor had shown him and Remus. Sure it had shown them what to expect from Voldemort and his followers, it had opened their eyes to many horrors. But the journal also gave them one other responsibility; to save Severus from himself, and free him from Lily. The Professor told them that he knew the moment Severus had finally had a taste of what life could be like with Lily, the moment he got her to return his affections, that nothing would keep him from bringing about his own destruction at her hand. He would throw away his very soul, for a witch that couldn't even return his love and devotion in the same quantities, let alone meet him on equal footing elsewhere. He would continue to give for her and she would take it and smile and be amused with his affections, but she wouldn't ever pursue him, burn for him, the way Severus would for her.

He knew he was breaking his friends trust by taking this kind of action but he needed to know more about the woman in Severus' future. When he got to the house he was met quietly by Eileen in the foyer.

"How is he?" Regulus asked. Eileen stood twisting her hands, then motioned to the second floor in the direction that Severus's room were.

"He hasn't come down yet. He didn't see me when he came in but I know something terrible happened. Something he wasn't prepared for." She explained. Regulus nodded, thinking briefly before making his decision.

"I need to find out what happened to him last night, so I'm going to get him up. Can you have an elf send up some very strong coffee, and a light breakfast please?" He asked politely.

"Of course, good luck Reg." Eileen said with a motherly pat on his cheek.

Regulus took a deep breath and took the stairs determinedly.

When he got to Severus' room he knocked, there was no answer so he called for their house elf.

"Charmie, can you peek inside and see if the master is awake if he isn't let me in so I can wake him."

"Yessir." Charmie replied nodding her head enthusiastically. Moments later the door was opening the little elf peeking her head around it.

"Master sleeps! Come in master's friend, he doesn't look well." The little elf said worriedly.

"Thanks, I've got it from here." he dismissed. And soft pop was the only sound of her exit when she disappeared.

Regulus went into the room and immediately drew the curtains on his large window, flooding the room with bright early morning sunshine. Severus winced and sat up suddenly, covering his eyes with his arm from the blinding sun

"Fuck! I told you, leave the bloody curtains closed when you come in. Meddling house elves." Severus muttered angrily as he rubbed his eyes. He started when he felt the bed sag next to him and squinted from behind his fingers to see Regulus's grinning face, as he sat on his bed.

"Bloody hell, Reg! Why are you here so bleeding early?" Severus swore bad temperedly, it was pretty obvious to Regulus that he had a terrible night and that he wasn't a morning person.

"I got word from Remus about last night. I wanted to make sure you knew Lily had escaped. I figured it was your doing, but just in case it wasn't I've fulfilled my duty as your friend and delivered the news promptly to put your mind at ease." Regulus said magnanimously grinning even wider.

"Your pristine molars are blinding me in this early morning sunlight, the least you could do is keep the glare down to the bicuspids." Severus growled at him, before throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed to stretch.

"You need a shower, it'll help wake you up." Regulus said going into the bathroom and turn on the hot water for him.

"No I'd need new skin to get the filth off me from last night, and a new soul" Severus muttered blackly. Regulus heard him and stepped out of the bathroom and leaned against the door frame with his hand folded behind his back an a grim expression.

"How bad was it?" He asked quietly.

Severus sat heavily back on his bed clad only in his boxers, holding his head in his hands desolately. Seconds later he burst into tears his shoulders heaving as he hid his face in his hands. Regulus moved and crouched in front of him, placing a comforting hand on Severus shoulder.

"I raped her, Reg. Gods! I know it was the only way to keep her safe, the other would have been merciless. But I don't know what I was thinking when I took it further, I convinced myself it was a good plan but now I'm not so sure."

"Took it further? What do you mean?" Regulus asked. It's hard to imagine him taking it any further than rape, after that there is pretty much just murder, and Lily was alive and well. Regulus thought completely confused. Severus took in a deep breath and wiped his face trying to get control of his emotions. Brushing his hair back with his hand he looked up at Regulus and said,

"I thought I could help her through it. Hide her mind from it so that she didn't have to experience it. She'd remember it vaguely but nothing specific. But then I thought the only way to convince him to let her live was to prove that I could turn her to him, and make her useful to him so that he would spare her."

"So what you've imperiused her? I'd say that's a sight less than murder, sure it's an unforgivable curse but you already knew we'd be required to do these things." Regulus tried to calm him. Severus snorted angrily.

"Of course you would come up with a more plausible route, one less damaging than I." his voice went hard and cold. "No I'm forever going to be led around by my desire to have her. I initiated a soul bond, and the tart accepted it not even knowing who I was. I could have been Voldemort himself! What the fuck is wrong with me? Everything about it felt so wrong, and now I feel like my soul is being ripped from me." Regulus looked aghast at what he heard.

"Why would you bond with her? Sev, you know it won't work between you, she doesn't love you like you love her. I don't think she can. She doesn't go that deep. Why are you holding on to her?" Regulus grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him to make him look at him. Severus straightened up and immediately forced his emotions behind his occlusion regaining his composure in front of his friend.

"I don't know, I love her. I've always loved her, I don't know how not to love her." He explained his confusion.

"Severus, what does this mean? How does the soul bond work, how will it affect you." Regulus questioned logically trying to work through the problem. He could at least be glad that Severus wasn't fighting him on it. It would make dealing with this Lily situation that much easier if Severus didn't fight to keep her.

"I can't explain it very well, right now. I need to clear my head. Here," Severus got up and moved to a locked cabinet and Regulus followed. He took out the Memory Chest and moved it over to his desk on the other side of the room, he opened it and took the journal out and handed it to Regulus.

"Ask him, but don't tell him what happened. I need to do that." Severus said looking ashamed. Then moving toward the bathroom door that was billowing steam from the still running shower, Severus called back over his shoulder. "Take notes for me, I've got to figure out how I can fix it before I talk to him."

Regulus pulled out a quill from the desk and dipped it in the inkwell resting on top of it, carefully considering how to ask the professor his question.

"Hello Professor, this is Regulus. I need some information and Severus is still recovering from the initiation. Could you tell me everything you know about a soul bond and it's effects?"

"Very well, I'm certain that you'll know some of what I'm about to tell you, however I'm going to start from the beginning of everything that I know. Some I have learned from personal experience, and but vast majority was shared to me by an insufferable know it all girl of eighteen, complete with cartoon diagram drawings with far to many hearts. But I digress.

Bonding was first discovered around the time of Merlin, by one of my ancestors. The Prince's were very interested in discovering the nature of the mind, body, & soul connection to magic. The Praesum is result of their labors, it unlocked so many possibilities when fully understood, and it was through this understanding that the practice of bonding began.

Bonding is the act of gifting a shard of your soul via your love and magic to another person who does the same in return. The first step that is intended to be taken is an imprinting, the partners join minds and their corporeal forms, that we call souls, metaphysically touch.

Think of this like courting a witch, you hold hands and you hug and eventually, you share a kiss. The kiss is the determining point, if you increase intimacy beyond it to coital union you will no longer just be imprinted you will be fully bonded. As expected the stronger the level of intimacy the stronger the imprint.

After the imprinting the couple can then enjoy the benefit of feeling each others emotions merely by physically touching. This helps the relationship to grow and develop as the partners find it a little easier to understand each other. If the partners find they are incompatible, intellectually, emotionally, or sexually, they need only end physical intimacy between them and over time the emotional empathy will fade till it is gone entirely. In conclusion an imprinting can be very fleeting and temporary or it can lead to greater intimacy, as well as varying in it's depth or strength.

Now the soul bond itself has various properties. Each partner submits a shard of their soul that are exchanged and implanted in the place of the piece given away, then the shards remain connected through a magical chain. The bonding is initiated, as stated before, by coital union of the souls while the partner's have joined minds, each submits their shard and receives the others shard in return. As such the effects of the bonding are much more powerful that just the imprinting, as the words shard and imprint are meant literally.

The first benefit when one is soul bound is that a couple can share their emotions and thoughts while apart. It is not an always on connection where everything and anything comes through, but rather, one partner could call out to the other mentally or empathically and the other would hear and or feel it and then choose to answer, or ignore.

The negative effect of this ability is that there is no escaping the call of your bonded. You will always hear them for as long as you remain bonded. Yes, a soul bond can be broken. It is not absolute. An absolute would be a soul mate and is very different in that there is no choice for either party, you either are soul mates or not and fate or chance decides it all. I will come back to ways that a bond can be broken.

The second benefit to being soul bound is that it can be used as a method of protection because either partner would know when the other was in mortal peril by being able to feel their distress. Again just like the empathic call its negative effect is in it being inescapable, a partner could then be used as a tool to inflict pain and suffering on the other by their enemies. While bonded I will feel every torturous curse, and pain that my partner feels as she hangs in mortal peril, I will do so without suffering any physical harm of it, for as long as she lives. When a bonded partner dies it is not uncommon for the living to die soon after, how badly their death affects them entirely depends on how strong they were bonded.

The final benefit is the their ability to reach through their magical chain to locate each other. They could find each other no matter where they were, and then apparate to their partners location. It is not dissimilar to the Dark Mark, the Dark Lord stole the idea from Prince's and twisted it to his own ends, as he has done with all things. Even something as pure as a soul bond can be twisted and used for evil.

On that note it can be said that bonding was mostly done away with after a few hundred years, becoming a little known magic but mostly believed to be myth. It's died out because of the effects it could have on someone against their will. It was not known early on that some witches and wizards could not access their own minds internally via Occlumency. This left those people woefully unprotected against anyone with the knowledge of Legilimency. Legilimency in essence can be used by anyone with varying degrees of strength, from empathic grazing down to full on mind shattering assaults. Witches and wizards without scruples would force bonds on others to manipulate and use them. These bonds would never last because it was not a true bond between a compatible couple.

What, you might ask, is considered a compatible couple? It is best described by pointing out its opposite. When a bond is formed between an incompatible couple, the chain that links the two shards becomes stretched and pulled taut, until it ultimately breaks. It can break three different ways.

Broken evenly at the chain itself, when both partners equally pull away from the other, this causes a minimal magical backlash, a minor if even noticeable case of magical depletion.

The second way they are broken happens when one partner pulls away and the second partner attempts to keep them close, the second will constantly be injured by the tugging of the chain, causing their shard to tear away from their soul when they are unable to keep up with the first. Tearing will cause small magical instabilities or a general lack of control of their magic, until the wound heals on its own.

Finally the third break occurs when one partner pulls too far away, and the second is stationary (or unable to keep up) the second's shard will be ripped away completely leaving them with an empty hole that bleeds their magical stores continually until they are gone. This can cause the injured party to completely lose their magical abilities until they patch the hole and prevent their magic from escaping.

Now lets define incompatibility so that you can understand what I mean when I say one partner pulls the other. This part is entirely relationship psychology but it's theories explain how the bond is affected by the behaviors and actions of each partner.

Intellectual incompatibility is when two individuals that can not meet and challenge each other at this level. They cannot understand each other to communicate properly, and/or one holds the other back from intellectual growth. Mentally draw yourself a scale of intellectual maturity and place both partners on that scale the greater the distance between them the greater their incompatibly and vice versa. As each partner grows intellectually so must the other or they will widen that gap, or either partner won't understand how the other interprets reality, life, ect.

Emotional incompatibility verges on being the same as intellectual as far as maturity goes; i.e. if one is more emotionally capable of handling something than the other one is. Again the larger the gap is between their individual emotional responses the harder it will be for them to understand and empathize with each other.

The last one is sexual compatibility, suffice it to say a sexually frustrated couple is time bomb to infidelity. It is hardwired in everyone to seek sexual compatibility and pleasure, or else our species would die out, it's rather self explanatory.

"Will that be all Regulus?" The Professor asked at the end of his lecture. The explanation spanned multiple pages and had opened his eyes to some extremely interesting facts. Regulus sat back for a moment trying to think of what to ask without giving away the situation like Severus requested. He wanted to give Severus the opportunity to formulate a plan on what he was going to do to fix it. Regulus quickly grabbed a parchment from inside the desk and copied the professors lecture onto another paper so that he could go over it again later if he needed to.

"Thank you professor, I have more than enough information to work with now." Regulus replied. Severus was exiting the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and another drying his hair.

"Well was he able to help you?" Severus asked clearly anxious to know how the conversation went. Regulus handed the roll of parchment to him with a wry grin.

"He gave me a full lecture, in perfect Professorial form. I truly think you've found your calling. He likes to hear himself speak almost as much as you do." Severus glared at him and snatched the parchment from him.

"Considering _he_ is _me_, and _his_ enjoyment is _mine_. Really? And they told me you were the smart one in the family." Severus smirked at him then went to sit on his bed to read it while continuing to dry his hair.

"Are you a wizard or aren't you?" Regulus teased him pointing out the towel with a raised quizzical brow. He thought it was rather odd that he was drying his hair with a towel when he could use a spell. Severus only briefly glanced up at him to see what he was talking about before returning to the paper saying off handedly,

"The drying spell counteracts the potion I use on my hair, I spent years trying to figure out why it never worked and my hair still always ended up greasy anyway. Mother told me."

Regulus left him alone so that he could finish reading, and started to consider their potential options. He wasn't sure which option would be viable for Severus and Lily's relationship. He firmly believed that Severus was a better person than Lily, just a little misguided with where he decided to expend his energies.

He had enough knowledge of the two to know that Severus was much more intelligent. While Lily was an intelligent girl, she didn't have the deductive reasoning or creativity that Severus had. He was relentless when he had an idea. Regulus had seen the vast amount of notes he had compiled just on his Wolfsbane, it was meticulous down to the tiniest detail. He'd also seen Severus show an emotional maturity and depth that was as deep and devoted as Lily was shallow and fickle.

Maybe it was the sex? It was not uncommon for a person to turn a blind eye to their lovers faults if the sex was good. Regulus eyed Severus appraisingly and felt sure that the ladies would agree in his assessment of him. His every move screamed sensuality, the way he trailed his finger across his lip when deep in thought. Even down to his voice and his new suit with it's ridiculous amount of buttons. No Regulus had to admit to himself, if he were in to men, Severus had the makings of a sex god.

He obviously couldn't speak for their compatibility, since personally he never much liked red-heads so he didn't even see her charm that Severus saw. Also considering how platonic the two could behave while they were dating he doubted it was the sex, it might have been good in a "hey this is my first time" kind of way, but not good enough if they could friend zone each other so completely. No he felt sure the people that had the best sex knew how to use foreplay all day; in the small nuances of how they moved while their lover watched, to the subtle stolen caresses under an audience's watchful eye.

So what was it then that brought him back to Lily? Regulus thought hard on this and wondered if it was as simple as a need to fill a void. Severus had led a completely loveless life before he got bold and asked her out. He'd had her friendship but that was different. No, now that he considered it he was sure that Severus clung to Lily to fill that void. He was beginning to understand why the journal told him that Severus would never let her go easily. It's the equivalent of getting a person afraid of heights to climb a cliff and then jump off from the pinnacle, telling them to have faith that they will fly. Severus didn't do faith, he'd need cold hard facts.

Regulus was sure what he needed now was to figure out the time-lock charm on the memories in the chest. He was sure the facts Severus needed to move on could be found in the memories the professor said he wasn't ready for.

He had figured out shortly after the Professor told him and Remus of their need to save Severus from Lily. There was another woman other than Lily, and she was the reason he'd gone through the effort to change the past. Regulus tried to think of anytime that he had mentioned her. He had no information to go off of, just the impression of her existence from the way the Professor spoke. He wondered if he had mentioned he to Severus at all, if that was why Severus appeared to be so ashamed when he thought of confronting the Professor.

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Regulus had watched Severus as he read through the information, his expression becoming more and more grim. Finally Severus looked up his face a stone cold blank expression, he was obviously occluding heavily.

"Judging by your expression you seem to have made your decision." Regulus observed, he watched Severus placed the parchment on the bed next to him with a shaking hand then nod while still lost in his own thoughts. After a few minutes of silence Regulus interrupted his thought.

"While I can occlude with the rest of them Sev, I'm no Legilimens like you. You will have to use your words." Regulus always found that keeping the tone light with Severus to be his best bet it always provided him with the best examples of his friends biting witticisms.

"You don't even know how ignorant that makes you sound." Severus snorted playfully mocking him. Regulus knew almost as much as Severus knew about the Praesum in theory. Severus Didn't keep very much of he knowledge from his friends, especially knowledge that could help them. Severus had coached both him and Remus in their Occlumency, and both were given an acceptable in their efforts at hiding their minds from him. Regulus just didn't have the proficiency with Legilimency, he was an empathic grazer on his best days requiring a great deal of concentration, and his occlusions were no so much strong as they were cunning and deceptive.

Severus finally decided to answer having reached the end of his thoughts, ready to share them with the world.

"Sorry I just had a rather disturbing notion that was unrelated to my current problem. The only thing I can see as a possibility at this point is to just let the bond be broken. If left to her own devices I have no doubt Lily will move on with James. I need only wait for her to do so, and be prepared for the magical backlash in the meantime. I want to be the one to let go but I'm lost as to how to do that. Some how I can't break away from her, even though I've made up my mind, my heart is refusing. I'm still helplessly in love with her." Severus explained, confirming what Regulus had deduced.

Regulus felt good knowing he could read his friend so well, but sad for his friend and the situation he was facing and what he would have to endure in his climb of the cliff face before him. Regulus we determined to have whatever was necessary for Severus to make that final leap and take flight. His first step was to do some serious research in and figure out the time-lock on those memories.

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**My Heart Is Refusing Me - by Loreen**

_For me this song is about Severus's internal struggle & conversing with the Professor concerning his attachment to Lily._

I've been crushed, beaten down  
And I'm frozen to the ground  
Like a fool, I've trusted you  
Still I'm hopelessly in love  
I never thought that I would be this helpless  
I can't believe I'm caving in for you, I  
I've been crushed, I've had enough

Now I wanna leave but I'm lost  
Some home I can't break away  
Although I've made up my mind  
My heart is refusing me

Me for you  
And you for me  
It was us against them all  
But slowly it came to me  
What was underneath it all  
I never thought that you could be this reckless  
I can't believe you're doing this to me, oh  
You strip me down  
I'm naked now

And I wanna leave but I'm lost  
Some how I can't break away  
Although I've made up my mind  
My heart is refusing me

I've been crushed, beaten down  
Still I'm hopelessly in love


	20. The Master and His Apprentice (11,225)

A/N:

**6/20/13 update: I removed a scene from this chapter as I shuffle a plot-line into a better revealing order, it may or may not find it's way back into the story so I will post it as a one-shot if it ends up getting completely cut. those of you who have already read this scene i'd like to apologize to for changing things up, but I couldn't deny some very good advice. So changes had to be made. -Enjoy!**

Hello everyone,

Thank you for your patience in waiting for updates! I'm sorry this one took a bit longer as it spans a larger amount of time than any previous chapter, also there were many background things that needed to be introduced and developed. Anyhow I hope you all enjoy.

Oh and no flames please for my brief and probably completely faulty attempts at merging quantum mechanic concepts into some of Severus musings. I tried to explain my "artistic interpretation" of how I viewed time for this fiction. remember please it is fiction, not science. I take my science seriously.

Mood Music: 'Monster' by Paramore for Remus and Regulus efforts, 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri for Eileen's cameo, and lastly 'Trance Chords' by Ephixa for Master/Apprentice debut. I don't know if you all even care to listen but this is what I listen to to get my moods and inspiration from.

** Content Warning:** Swearing and mature themes. barley pg-13.

Disclaimer: not mine, no moneys.

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**Chapter 19: The Master and His Apprentice**

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After Regulus had left Morgraig, he paid Remus a visit to help him move his things to the flat in London, which Severus had set up to accommodate Remus while he attempted to sway the werewolves. Remus had managed to fit everything he was taking in two trunks so they each grabbed one and then apparated to the secret kept location, landing on the small balcony of the high-rise flat.

The flat, which consisted of the entire 13th floor, was so completely surrounded by muggles that it was the last place anyone would think to look for a wizard with lycanthropy. The flat was very spacious, it had a very minimal amount of walls and large windows that gave a stunning view of the city life. Severus had turned a linen closet into a magically enlarged safe room where he would be spending locked up during transformation. Even though Remus had full control of himself thanks to the Wolfsbane, he refused to take any risks and still habitually locked himself away the night of the full moon. The safe room was also equipped with a handful of cages and a muggle hospital beds, that would be used for the other werewolves as they joined the Order's ranks.

"Not to shabby, Remus. I think you could do much worse." Regulus said as he admired the minimalistic design and décor.

"Yes there is a shockingly suspicious lack of walls to destroy. I still think Severus is worried about the other werewolves and their ability to be housebroken." Remus jested.

"10 galleons says that he's Impervious the walls to 'liquids'." Regulus tossed back to him over his shoulder as he explored.

"Speaking of which you haven't told me how your chat went with him this morning. How bad was the Revel, and how on earth did he manage it all and come out alive?" Remus called after him in disbelief. Regulus stopped in the large living room area and threw himself on to the squashy sofa lounging on it with his arm thrown over the back as he appreciatively rubbed the suede upholstery. He looked up at Remus who had followed him and gestured for him to sit.

"It was really bad." Regulus said twirling his finger on the suede still as he put together his thoughts.

"We didn't talk about how he managed to get the McKinnon's to your house, though I'm sure that whatever they could tell you explains how they got away."

"We found that the women all had coins on them that had a latent magical signature on them indicating they'd been used as portkeys. We had to use a Finite on Mary as she had been Imperiused and apparently told to hold on to James and Sirius. She arrived and would not let them go, and then turned into a demon child when we tried to separate her from them. I guess then, something must have gone wrong with Lily's portkey." Remus trailed off, and Regulus nodded his agreement to that probability.

"I'm guessing Severus went into panic, when she ended up captured. He knew what was in store for her, and you know what he is willing to sacrifice. I must say I'm completely surprised he didn't beg for her life. He managed to keep his cover intact by volunteering to be her rapist ensuring his control over her treatment, and then to save her life he told the Dark Lord that he could control her and make her useful by forcing her in to soul bond with him." Regulus told him sadly.

"She was raped, mind and soul then?" Remus said with incredulous and disgust. Regulus held up his hand to calm the outburst he saw coming from Remus who had always been extremely protective of Lily, telling her often he thought of her as his sister.

"No, I personally think that's the worst of it for Severus, Lily submitted willingly to the soul bond, even with him disguised. She had no idea who her attacker was as he'd remained anonymous, she knew full well what she was doing, and she accepted the bond. It wasn't forced." Regulus explained in a quiet contemplative tone.

"Well how is that possibly worse than forcing it?" Remus said still fuming a little, his magical aura causing the air to thicken with his uncontrolled energy.

"Think about it Remus, you know how bad he gets with Lily. He even admitted to me that he had no idea how to let go of her. The fact that she gave in willingly only gives him that one more shred of hope to cling to that it will work out between them in the end. I've no doubt that some part of him believes that she accepted because her soul recognized him, or some other ridiculous romantic notion." Regulus scoffed. Remus understood what he meant. Severus was a complete fool when it came to Lily. For all his snide comments about Gryffindor's and being led by their emotions, it was Severus' own greatest weakness when it came to Lily. Regulus saw him processing the situation and decided to continue on to his plan.

"We managed to get information from the Professor about soul bonds, and the good news is they are not absolute. But there are some hefty side effects to breaking one. I've got a hunch that the Professor has information in those memories that are time-locked that we might be able to use to help Severus break his attachment to Lily and maybe stave off the worst of the magical backlash. Severus will need some incentive or push to let her go. We've discussed it before and I'm almost positive now that the Professor did all of this for a woman who was close to him that he lost." Regulus began ticking off the facts leaning forward in the couch in his excitement for rooting out a mystery.

"He talks to us about making sure Severus let's go of Lily so that he is free. And for some reason Severus appears ashamed to face the professor about the soul bond to Lily, which makes me think Severus might already know about her existence. If she does exist and there are memories of them together maybe we can help him focus on her in place of Lily." Regulus finished. Remus looked contemplative as he weighed the information before he finally asked,

"What do you need me to do then to help him break the bond?" Remus asked.

"Well the good news is, I don't think he will fight us on it. He says it feels wrong, that it is painful to him. He very obviously regrets it." Regulus sighed and ran he hand through his hair before continuing,

"What you can do is encourage Lily to move on. Lend an ear to her and see if you can get her to hook up with another bloke, the sooner the better. Even if it's Potter." he said with a serious expression.

"I think I can mange that." Remus agreed.

* * *

Severus said his goodbyes to Regulus after they had a light breakfast with his mother. He had a lot in his mind with his soul bond. He was having to spend a great deal of strength to separate himself from the festering painful ache that would not go away. He'd felt it since the moment he'd bonded with Lily, and had mistakenly believed it was due to the terrible situation they were both in at the time; that it was her soul echoing her pain to him. But after much thought and very little sleep he was sure that the bond had gone terribly wrong, and in his fear he'd divulged all those thoughts to Regulus.

The information that Regulus acquired from the old man only served to confirm his fears. For as long as he and Lily grew apart, one or both would suffer the effects of the strain on their bond. He had every intention of letting her move on with her life, to marry James if she chose too, and take on the full consequences of his actions alone. He'd just have to be ready for the magical drain from the backlash of the broken bond.

He felt the best way to deal with all of it for now was to throw himself into a project to keep his mind occupied elsewhere till he left for his apprenticeship. The information that he'd gotten from the journal was extremely enlightening and left him wondering about his mothers loss of magic. It left him lost in thought for most of the morning as he worked through it in his head. But once Regulus had left he wanted to get down to business and get his conversation over with the journal.

"I have some important news and some questions for you, which would you prefer first?" He queried the old man once he had sat at his desk with a deep breath, determined to face his dread.

"Tell me your news, if you please. I know you're trying to avoid it just by asking that question. What has happened?" Came the old mans exasperated reply. Severus felt as though he could feel the old mans apprehension for what he would tell him through the pages of the book, but dismissed the notion as his own silly paranoia.

He wrote reluctantly, he wanted to curl up and hide under a mountain to escape the guilt and self loathing that he felt for his actions, he can only imagine how angry the old man was going to be with him. He told him everything, sparing no detail of exactly what he'd done and offered no excuse for his actions. Knowing he need not tell the old man his motivations, knowing he'd understand on his own how Severus could make such a choice. Severus knew that he certainly would not like it. As expected the old man was very angry; the book itself grew hot under his hands as he wrote the story, the old mans anger burning through the page beneath his hand. When the old man replied the ink was more like scorch marks, and the words appeared slashing viciously across the page.

"I've suffered under a delusion all this time believing that you would be capable of overcoming your weakness for Lily. I'd believed that you would see who and what she was and that she can not return your devotion and love. I can see now how woefully mistaken I was. I've offered you purity, and you spat in the face of it and sullied your soul. Intent on believing your own lies that it can work between you and Lily; using deceit as a basis of your bond. I thought you could keep your purity if given guidance, that given guidance and a second chance to get it right you could endeavor to earn what you are given so undeserving. I will not suffer from your foolishness. You can suffer the consequences of your actions alone, I'll not waste any more efforts on your instruction or your future."

The edges of the pages were singing and curling into ashes as the words appeared on the page. There was no mistaking just how angry the old man was with him. Fearing that the book was going to go up in flames Severus pulled out his wand with the intent to place it under stasis while he tried to find a way to stop it from self destruction.

"No, no, no!" he said as he scrambled for his wand as he read the last few angry words on the page, but by the time he had his wand out the book had slammed shut with a resounding snap and a gust of ash and smoke curled from the singed pages. Silvery blue rune etched bands of light shot from the bindings lashing the book together magically then faded into invisibility. Severus reached out to examine the book and received a nasty shock from it that left an angry red welt on the palm of his hand.

Severus sat back stunned. He was at least relieved that the journal didn't go and self destruct on him, that much he was sure of. He'd expected the old man anger and for him to berate him. He never expected the sheer amount of pain that came through the words that were emblazoned before him.

_What did the old man mean by he was suffering pain from my actions_? Severus wondered.

He'd never considered that he could be actually hurting him with his actions. This caused him to deliberate over the nature of the journal. He'd considered it before, and assumed the journal was like a an interactive pensieve, that the memories were enchanted into the pages, but now that he considered it that would make the book more like a muggle video player for memories. But the journal had a personality, a psyche of sorts.

_No, it's a bloody soul_! Severus swore when the notion struck him. _It would have to be a soul._

He slumped into his desk chair putting his face in his hands, overcome with confusion having a foreboding sense of dread at this possibility.

_How would one bind their soul to an inanimate object?_

He'd have to do some research to find out if such a thing could be done. The next question would be why they would do such a thing, but in this case he knew the why. The old man wanted to enact change on the timeline and he needed to be able to communicate intricate details properly. Severus considered for a moment what the implications were for putting a soul into an object.

_You wouldn't have to put your entire soul in it either, the soul bond was proof that you could separate a piece of it and give it away, removing it entirely from yourself with magic. So it wasn't a large stretch to consider that one could also voluntarily split their soul and place it outside of oneself. _Severus hummed to himself and began tracing his lower lip with his finger as he thought.

_So what then were the consequences of doing this?_

In the case of a soul bond, the shard that is removed is then filled with the shard given by your partner. It must then cause some wound to the main source of the soul if it worked in the way a broken soul bond did, when the shard of soul was missing. Then his magic would likely drain from him until he reached complete depletion.

Something like that was very serious in the wizarding world, it was frequent for people who suffered from magical depletion for extended periods of time to become depressed and suicidal. There were potions that could assist a drained wizard in restoring their magic faster, much like a blood replenisher only not nearly as fast acting, but when the restoration of their magic takes too long many would lose hope and give up.

Severus decided it would be best for him to involve Regulus and Remus in this. For one, he now had to figure out how to unbind the journal. If he could do that then maybe he could reason with the old man to continue helping him, maybe there was some way to make it up to him.

Still the situations caused him to wonder on the nature of time and how it flowed. Having altered the timeline from the one he'd come from, was his original soul still existing in that time, leaking away all his magical energies? He wondered briefly if the old man's time was running its course parallel to his even still, or if that timeline ceased to be as this one rewrote it.

But then an even larger picture appeared to him as he considered what he knew of the effects of the use of time-turners. The traveler goes back in time from the same position in reality that they left. This would indicate that altered time would start out in a kind of zigzagging line through the plane of reality.

Severus quickly pulled a parchment from the desk so that he could draw out the image he was formulating in his mind. Moving Left to right across the length of the parchment he labeled on it an x-axis as time, building a graphical representation of his thoughts. He then drew a short horizontal line to represent a traveler's timeline as it progressed across the page through time. Since the location of the traveler was significant; meaning that there would exist two of the same individual at the point of time they returned to, and that they could not occupy the same space as they were separate functioning entities, that would mean that location would be his Y-axis line. A typical traveler would no longer be present on the timeline that they left, they would zig up and backwards in time to appear at a different location. This line backward would then be the catalyst for the creation of the third z-axis for actions, choices,or decisions; making the graphical representation three dimensional. As the traveler interacted with time it would weave itself back through the original timeline, lifting and twisting it to a new path entirely. This created a looping effect of the time essentially, and as the traveler progressed back through the timeline, altering it until they resumed progressing through time beyond the point from which they'd left.

The trouble with that lay in the fact that the old man didn't leave his time, by sending his soul his own time didn't cease to progress, he created a new page entirely, a blank slate on which his own timeline would progress parallel to the original. Severus pulled out another piece of parchment and placed it over the first. The soul journal it appeared would act as a string that tied the two pages, or planes of existence together, appearing to act as a channel between the two. He wondered then if the soul journal would experience both realities it was attached to, for example could he feel the pain of both experiences? It was obvious he at least suffered disappointment from Severus' actions concerning Lily.

He had a notion that if the journal did indeed contain a soul, in theory he could perform Legilimency on it. What would happen, what would he learn if he attempted such a thing? Would it allow him to use the soul's connection to see into that other time? He knew there would not be much point for him to do so, as his time was so altered it would inevitably be different from his own. It was simply a curiosity.

He wondered what the other man was experiencing from the effects of his soul shard being on another plane of existence. He felt some sympathy for the man, willing as he was to suffer magical depletion so that an alternate version of himself could try again. But why? Severus was still missing something and he couldn't put his finger on it. Why would anyone voluntarily suffer and continue his existence under such conditions, with no hope? He could have just come back in time himself. He'd believed that the old man's reasons for sending his soul back through time were for Her, the woman that he loved, and Severus assumed that he had lost. And then of course the catastrophe of the wizarding world having fallen to Voldemort and many lives lost his other reason.

Maybe he had not lost Her then and he had some other plan? Severus was sure there was something about the old mans motives that he was missing completely. And he couldn't for the life of him figure it out. But one thing he was sure of, he needed to get his friends help to unbind the journal so that he could test his theories, he had a nagging sense that it as vitally important.

Severus didn't waste any time. He planned to throw himself into this project for the last few days he had before his apprenticeship, attempting to keep himself occupied and distracted from the emotionally draining effects caused by the strained soul bond. One of the first things he did was contact Regulus and Remus and request their presence when they were free. He knew they would be busy getting Remus settled in the London Flat. In the mean time he turned his attention to another idea that had plagued his mind when he had learned more about the soul bonds.

He looked around the large house and eventually found his mother out in the gardens tending to a small crop of Aconite that once matured would be the source for the large batches of Wolfsbane he expected to be producing for Remus. Severus watched her work, enjoying seeing the calm joy in her eyes as she focus on her task.

"I'm very glad you are alright Severus, when you came in last night I was very worried for you. You weren't occluding when you came through the door, not all the way at least. I felt the pain you were suffering, from whatever it is you had to do. I just hope you know that I am here for you." Eileen said as she kept working so as not to make Severus feel uncomfortable by focusing on him.

Severus felt the lump of disgust for himself and his actions. He'd suffered through many nights listening to his mother being sexually assaulted by a drunken Tobias as a child. And now all the hatred and loathing he'd felt towards that man he had directed at himself. He knew he had no other options available to him to spare Lily worse treatment. But it was with the vilest and deepest feelings of self loathing that he felt for his ability to even carry out the act, even for noble intentions. He pushed these feelings aside knowing that he had come to see his mother for a different reason. He could deal with his own issues later.

"Thank you mother." He finally responded. He looked around and found a small granite bird bath and he walked over to it and leaned against it crossing his legs and arms as he watched his mother work, thinking of how best to broach the topic of his thoughts. Eileen occasionally looked up at him to see if he'd come to a conclusion, but let him alone to sort it out. Not having a clue what it was he wanted to talk to her about and not wanting to invade his privacy by gleaning from him, she continued working patiently waiting for him to be ready to speak.

"I've had some information from the old man, that I think might help us to figure out your struggles with regaining your magic." Severus said. Eileen tensed, and paused in her work to look up at him wiping her brow with her arm to move her long black hair from her eyes.

"What kind of information?" Eileen asked apprehensively. Severus sighed before he answered.

"Not the future telling kind of information. Rather he gave me a possible scenario in which a magical person could be left without their magic, or with critically depleted magic that would not restore even after supplementing it with the necessary restorative potions." Severus explained, proof in point that he had a viable theory was her inability to regain her magic even after months of using potions to help restore it. He had her full and undivided attention so he continued,

"Could it be possible that your soul was wounded by Riddle, by what he'd done to you? You said that you lost control the year I was born but was it a gradual loss or like an all at one time loss?" Severus questioned her tentatively.

"I had fluctuations and variances from that time on with increasing frequency, I became weaker and weaker magically. So it was definitely gradual and I had always assumed when I finally did lose it completely that it was a result of my depression. I always felt so weighed down and there were times I had no will left to even live. It was my inability to cope with that depression that made me hide behind my occlusions." Eileen told him trailing off. She'd been considering carefully what Severus was asking, and she stopped talking when she understood what exactly he meant. She knew enough about the old practice of soul bonding that her family developed as it was sill commonly practiced in her family. When she realized Severus thought it might be possible for Tom Riddle to have soul bonded her on the night he raped her she looked up at Severus with fear and revulsion in her eyes.

"You think he soul bonded me? But wouldn't I know if he'd done that?" Eileen asked in shock, the words catching in her throat as she uttered them, coming out as strangled whispers. Severus saw her alarm and was relieved to know that she hadn't already known of the soul bond and kept it from him, as he had originally thought she's done. It was also a relief because it wass possible that he was wrong completely.

"There is a way to make sure; if he's altered your memory you might not know. But we've come up with a way of finding hidden memories before." Severus said to her. Then he stepped away from the bird bath and walked over to help her to her feet from where she'd been kneeling in front of the garden bed. He grabbed her shoulders and rubbed them reassuringly,

"Look for open spaces like what you found the first time, it might not have happened the same night. Also see if you can do some self examining, literally soul searching, if you will." Severus smirked,

"See if can you detect where a wound would be if you have one. I don't want to intrude your privacy but I'll give you my help if you think you can't find it on your own." Severus said. Eileen pulled him close to her for a tight hug, and Severus placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Don't worry it's actually better than I originally thought it was. I'm sure you would know if it had happened, on some level you would have to feel it." Severus said speaking from experience, he knew she would feel the effects of such a tainted bond as that if could feel the negative effect of his own with Lily. He resumed his assurances,

"But it's a good start to figure out what direction we can go to help you. It may not have anything to do with him at all." At this Eileen stepped back and looked up at him, putting her hand on his cheek lovingly.

"You are a good man and I'm very proud of you. Thank you for helping me, I'll let you know what I find out."

A moment later they heard the approach of someone on the gravel walkway and turned to see Regulus and Remus who had just rounded the corner of the tall shrubs and were walking their direction looking contrite for interrupting their private display of affection.

"Sorry to interrupt such a beautiful moment between mother and son." Remus said delicately. Eileen wiped her eyes a little with a handkerchief and smiled at both boys. She grabbed Severus' hand and patted it,

"Come on you boys, come inside an I'll have Charmie help me find you a snack for you while you do your plotting." She then proceeded them into the house leaving the boys to follow after her. They let her go before following a distance behind her before Remus spoke up.

"Severus I'm sorry about what you had to go through last night. I just want you to know that Lily says that she is fine, but I promise I will keep a close eye on her for you, and try to be there for her if she needs support." Remus said quietly. It took Remus some time to get past his anger at what was done to Lily, but he had to admit that the alternative was much more dreadful, and he was thankful that Severus was able to spare her in some way.

They continued into the house and Severus got them up to speed on what happened with the journal. Both appeared a bit shocked at the professors strong reaction, but between the two of them it had only confirmed their suspicions about the other woman and they shared a significant look. But what they were not expecting was Severus' conjecture on the journals true nature, and it being a soul. And that had them debating and throwing around theories and ultimately resulted in Severus trying to find a muggle science book on quantum mechanics as they discussed time and it's complexities.

Regulus admitted to having a curiosity for the type of wards that the chest and journal were under and was eager to jump on board. He dove into theory and arithmantic calculations so that by the time Severus left for his apprenticeship, they were at least certain that Legilimency could be used on the journal in the event that it refused to respond willingly to their request for information. Their only problem now was to find a way around the magical bindings that were now blocking Severus from interacting with the journal.

As Remus had much to do with his efforts for the Order in swaying the Werewolves along with his side mission to get Lily hitched, it was agreed upon between the two friends that Regulus would work on breaking through the wards on the journal. He could work on it over the summer and during his last year at school a bonus to it all was that it would be good practice for his future career as a curse breaker. Since Severus was the only one able to open the chest he stopped locking the book inside it, so whenever Regulus had worked his calculations and theories and was ready to test them he would have a Charmie bring him the journal. This left Severus the ability to focus wholeheartedly on earning his mastery.

* * *

Over the summer Regulus made significant progress in his understanding of the type of wards that were in place on the journal and by the time term began he was able to replicate the wards almost exactly. But there was one variance in the runes of the wards he cast and those on the book that he was not unable to account for. He thought it strange that the journal could be keyed to Severus's signature but at the same time be locking him out of the journal as well and felt sure that this unexplained sequence was what determined that difference.

He had tried to decode the strange sequence in the wards, spending months of his free time in the evenings on algorithms that he thought would help him decipher their use; but nothing ever worked. He was stumped by this conundrum for the entire school year. Until one day nearing his graduation the thought occurred to him try to add a password to the ward, when he was entering the Slytherin common room.

He set off for his dorms intent to give the new variation a try, hoping that he would have some success at last, as he had not yet been able to examine the time-lock wards that were, obscured and hidden underneath the signature layer on the journal.

As soon as he cast the new ward on his arithmancy textbook he saw a similar variance in the runes that had kept him at a standstill but it was still off. Trying again, Regulus removed the ward then recast the original version without the password, then he added the password to the signature ward as a secondary layer, and watched amazed as the two melted into one layer as if they'd been cast together. This time the runes between his wards and those of the journal were exact.

Regulus was ecstatic, this meant that if Severus could figure out the password he would be able to deactivate the lock against him and access the signature ward again. He wrote a quick letter to Severus explaining what he had found and called for Charmie.

"Yessir Friend of Master, is Regulus needing the journal today?" Charmie asked when she appeared on his green and silver covered bed.

"No Charmie, What I need for you to do is take the journal to Severus, and also give him this letter please. It's very important you put the letter in his hands. If he is unable to take it from you as he is busy please wait until you can hand it to him, it's very sensitive information. OK?" Regulus ask to make sure the elf knew it was important. He couldn't use an owl because there was too great a risk of the letter getting in to the wrong hands. The elf nodded vigorously her expression deadly serious. He thanks the elf and sat back excited he hoped that this would be the day they finally got the journal opened.

* * *

Severus had the great privilege to be working under Master Alchemist Jorle Aulus. He was a highly esteemed alchemist who had been trained by Nicholas Flamel. Flamel had gone into hiding shortly after Master Aulus completed his training with him due the uprising of Grindlewald. He had not been seen or heard of since then, and it was the belief among the wizarding world that the sensational aura surrounding Flamel and his claimed creation of the Sorcerers stone was an orchestrated falsehood.

Despite this lack of belief in Flamel's success, it didn't change the fact that Master Aulus was the widely accepted expert in alchemy, and of it's many branches Severus' new master was an expert in Potions specifically. Severus found he very much enjoyed working with Jorle, as they had quickly became a well oiled unit when working on Jorle's many varied experiments. Jorle proved to be even more meticulous than Severus thought was possible for a single person, but over time, as his knowledge and talent grew, he was able to master all Jorle's exacting methods.

The only thing to their disadvantage when working together in the lab was Severus' continued suffering from his soul bond to Lily. He would have frequent and unexpected bouts on magical lethargy and or variance in his control. This caused him to ruin more than one experiment that required fine tuned control over manipulating his magic while handling the dangerous materials they worked with. After one particularly close call, Jorle was no longer willing to over look the facts he saw before him and confronted Severus on his magical fluctuations over tea.

"Severus, I've not been one to pry, but something really must be done about your fluctuations. You cannot continue on to becoming a Master with such a dangerous lack of control, especially when handling these kinds of dangerous ingredients. You are liable to wind up killing yourself and whomever you happen to be with, in this case me." He chuckled,

"Tell me son, you seem to know why you are having them and I'm at a loss to figure out why myself, you have more than enough power." Jorle probed him. Severus knew that he probably couldn't keep it from him, after having dealt with it for the last year he was becoming a bit desperate for relief.

"It's complicated Master." Severus said, pinching his nose in aggravation as he thought of the simplest way to answer. His mood had progressively gotten more acerbic as a direct result to the aching pain he was constantly in.

"I'm good with complicated you know that. It may be that I can help you un-complicate it." Jorle replied good naturedly, he was an excessively sunny individual. Severus sighed, he really didn't have a reason not to tell him, he knew he could trust him with the information. Or rather, what little information Severus would give him wouldn't be a danger to Severus. So Severus gave in saying succinctly,

"I'm suffering from the magical backlash of a strained soul bond. I assume that anytime now the bond will be well and truly broken, as my friend has informed me that my bonded is in the process of moving on to greener pastures." Severus told him with a tight voice.

Lily had the tendency to call out to him unconsciously when she slept or so he assumed as he mostly heard from her at night, making it increasingly harder for him sleep through a single night. The worst nights where when he could feel her sexual desires through the bond, and it was during those times a he had been hard pressed to remain silent and not answer her call.

"Why would you bond to a witch before you've married her? I mean it's a nearly unheard of practice in the first place but even when it is used it's only used for those who're already married, or it's intended that way." His master questioned. Severus clenched his teeth, he refused to explain anything further, the rest was none of his master's business.

"That's the complicated part that I am unwilling to share, if you don't mind." Severus said trying not to be disrespectful.

"Very well suit yourself." Jorle answered. They sat in silence for some time finishing their tea before Jorle spoke up again.

"I assume then that in your spare time you've brewed yourself the appropriate regeneratives and replenishers for the side effects of your problem and are dosing when needed?"

"I have sir." Severus answered respectfully.

Jorle eyed Severus appraisingly as if judging his character though he said nothing further and they continued drinking their tea silence.

Thus far Jorle remained firmly separate from the Dark lords reach, whose influence didn't spread further than the British Ministry of Magic. It was one of the reason Severus chose to apprentice with him, his blissful distance from what was going on in Britain. Even though he was still summoned by the Dark Lord for the occasional Revel, Severus had been able to remain mostly distant from it all, so as not to distract from his work which would lead him to his position as a spy at Hogwarts.

Thankfully Dumbledore had spread the news to all that he could about carrying emergency portkeys on one's person at all times, which resulted in almost completely avoiding any further capture and death among the targeted wizarding families. But that only served to increase the cunning and planning that the Dark Lord put in to his efforts, escalating the war to explosively violent fights when the forces did meet.

The use of the emergency portkeys was causing a stir at the ministry, the ministry as well as the papers blamed the many disappearances on the illegal and faulty use of these emergency portkeys. He was sure this idea was influenced by the Dark Lords agents, as legislation was underway that would cause making unauthorized portkeys illegal. A new department would be created and the only way to obtain authorized portkeys would be to register for one with the Ministry, registering with them what it's destination was and it's owner. The requests for portkeys would be tracked and logged along with every instance they were activated.

The law would cause serious problems for the evading populace, because most emergency portkeys took the owner to a safe house usually under a Fidelis charm where the owner would remain hidden until it was safe to leave. Writing down the name of the destination meant that any who read the file would be able to find these safe houses. It wouldn't stop the Order from using the illegal portkeys, but it would certainly make it much harder to keep one on your person at all times for fear of being caught with it, and prosecuted for the crime.

Given that development Voldemort was only gaining in power. With droves of people, starting with the McKinnons who went into hiding, all had been reported as disappeared or missing. Voldemort's agents took advantage of the circumstances, spinning stories of how all these families that were going missing were rogue extremists that were gathering to take over the ministry, and that _they_ were the cause for the attacks. The deflection was utterly brilliant, in providing the Order with a good method for escape and saving of lives, Severus had at the same time provided the Dark Lord the ability to sink quietly into the background while he went about taking over the Ministry. All of the Death Eater's attacks were now being blamed on their intended victims.

The only loss of life that Severus was not able to prevent was the muggle killings and attacks. They were so frequent and random that there was literally nothing he could do to predict them. He was able to send Dumbledore warning on the targeted attacks as those were planned in advance, but the complete helplessness he felt toward the innocents that suffered weighed on heavily on his conscience.

Severus was surprised from his doom and gloom thoughts by the slight snap of his house elf Charmie's sudden apparition at his elbow. She was holding Regulus's note in one hand and hovering over her other like a food platter she had the journal.

" 'xcuse me Master, Master's friend says it is important that Charmie deliver this letter into Master hand sir. Master's friend also be asking very nicely to bring Master his journal." Charmie curtsied and looked up into his face with a wide-eyed eager expression. Severus tried hard not to call any more attention to the situation than possible by refusing the urge to look at Master Aulus and responding to the house elf nonchalantly. He reached out and took the letter, but didn't take the book from her, letting her hover it over her hand so as not to draw attention to its warded nature.

Severus quickly skimmed the letter with a bored expression before folding it and putting it in the breast pocket of his coat.

"Thank you Charmie, you may take the book and leave it on my desk. I'll call you if I need you again." Severus dismissed her. The elf disapparated with another soft snap to deposit the book in his room as requested. Severus sat back in his chair with his tea in hand, unconsciously rubbing his finger across his lip in thought. He was so lost in thought over what Regulus letter said that he didn't immediately hear what Master Aulus said to him until he'd repeated himself the second time, calling Severus by name to bring his attention around.

"Severus? I asked, if everything was all right? You seem quite carried away by your thoughts I hope it's not dreadful news that the elf brought so urgently. So urgent that your friend couldn't use an owl." Master Aulus observed shrewdly. Nothing escaped the man's notice Severus was well aware that he was in his way politely prying for more details. Severus gave him a quick nod to assure him that all was well and then he sat forward in his chair as if he made to leave the room but then thought better of it. He stayed and asked Jorle,

"Yes, yes it's quite alright. Forgive my elf's rude behavior in just bursting in like that. No, you see my friend is still at Hogwarts, he'll be graduating quite soon in fact any day. He's been working on a rather interesting design for signature wards, and he believes he's had a breakthrough and wanted me to test it out the variation." Severus explained, proud of his manipulation of the situation. It was always best to get around the truth by telling nothing but the truth.

"Ah indeed that is very interesting. Would you permit me to examine the wards? I would so love to see what these budding new minds have come up with." Jorle asked with a greedy twinkle in his eyes. It was a look he got when there was learning and information to be had, an expression Severus was very familiar with and no doubt frequently mirrored. Severus considered his options ever so briefly showing almost no hesitation before he answered.

"That would be most generous of you. Your insight and experience would be of great value to him I am sure." Severus responded drawing on how he felt himself. He had great respect for Master Aulus, and he believed that the talented wizard might be able to provide him an insight to their problem that none other could. Severus then called for Charmie who appeared with hand twisting anticipation and then bounced in excitement when she delivered the journal to the coffee table between the master and his apprentice. Severus thanked her again and she disapparated to return to Morgraig.

"Dear boy, she certainly seems willing to assist but there is no reason to run the poor thing ragged. I could have waited the few minutes it would have taken you to retrieve it." Jorle chided him. He was a very conscientious elf owner, and allowed his own to run the house with out any oversight and saw to as much of his needs himself, as much as the industrious elves would allow that is.

"Yes she is very willing, however her assistance is required as neither of us can touch the book without suffering a painful shock. We've found that house elves seem to be able to levitate them to no ill effect." Severus explained to him.

With an inviting gesture toward the book they both leaned forward in their opposing leather wing-backed chairs and examined the journal.

The journal itself was very unassuming, a typical leather-bound book with no defining features, it would easily be overlooked and draw no extra curiosity to it than any normal journal would. Jorle tilted his head this way and that, examining it from all sides keeping his hands firmly in his lap before looking up at Severus and asking.

"What's the nature of the shock? You say painful, it's not a curse or anything dark is it?"

"No thought I'm not sure of the specifics of it, it's merely a form of stinging hex. It will leave a nasty welt behind that reminded me of grammar school and a good birching I got from the headmistress. It's harmless enough." Severus said in bemusement. Jorle only hummed his acknowledgment before he pulled out his wand and waved a complicated pattern in the air invoking the incantation to make the wards visible to the observer. The wards shimmered and glowed in hues of light of yellow and purple. Each color indicating a different layer of the wards. The wards were rather fluid they seemed to undulate like separate surfaces of water intermingling but remaining still individual of the other. There were runes inlaid into the surface of each layer that appeared as brighter more condensed points of the glowing colorful light.

"Hmm, Yes I see. The yellow is the signature ward, but there's that interesting purple. I'm not familiar with that one." He mused,

"That must be the one your friend has made, though I thought you said he modified the signature ward?" Jorle said looking up at Severus in askance.

"Yes that ward. I've been unable to examine that one yet, you see how the yellow ward obscures and distorts the runes on it? I've not had an opportunity to get that far beyond his wards. No look here, at the signature ward this sequence is the alteration." Severus redirected and pointed out the runes that formed the password lock keeping his finger a safe distance from the book.

"Ah! But that is very tricky, I almost didn't perceive the difference, look the sequence is a bright white hue but it has a slight blue tint not yellow. It still is a separate ward but it seems to act part of and fade into the signature ward, disguising itself. It's very clever indeed! Your friend, a school boy at Hogwarts, thought of this?" Jorle asked him with a note of incredulity. Severus smiled and deflected.

"I've seen him created many interesting wards, I'll have to introduce you to him. He's to start his career in Curse Breaking this summer and begin working on his own mastery, I've no doubt he'll do very well."

"Yes he seems to have quite a talent." Jorle agreed and continued trying to decipher the runs he saw before him. He scratched his chin in confusion admitting,

"I must say I don't understand the addition. It seems contradictory to this set of runes here," He said pointing out a set of yellow runes, "it's as if he's completely locked out the main function of them. Did he tell you what the addition does, or are we meant to guess?" Jorle said rather chagrined to admit defeat. Severus laughed,

"No I'd hope not, he's been working on it for over a year, we certainly wouldn't figure it out before dinner. His note says that it is a password addition. The main signature ward needs only the hand of the wizard who cast it, the password overrides it making it so even the owner is locked out until the password is given."

"That's very interesting." Jorle said though he seemed rather perplexed. He frowned at Severus as if considering a puzzle, before he sat back in his chair and appraised him calculatingly.

"I do like puzzles, as you know Severus and you've unwittingly given me one that I don't believe you intended. I don't think you realize that a signature ward could only be modified by its caster." Jorle said delicately. Severus sat back in his chair himself and gave his master a questioning look, internally he was cursing himself for not realizing that as his Master he would be intimately aware of and able to recognize Severus' magical signature. He'd not considered that Jorle would see through his attempts at being vague.

"Indeed, I am not as intimately familiar with wards as my friend. What is this puzzle?" Severus played dumb, hoping that Jorle would show his hand and that he might somehow be able to salvage the situation before giving away too much information.

"Yes, your magical signature, therefore cast and modified by you. Why would you then, not know exactly what spell was used to deter forced entry, and why would you not know the nature of the hidden ward beneath it? Add to that your elf delivering you a letter that was too delicate for an owl. There is indeed much more going on with this than you've told me, your friend is not the one whose developed these wards you have. You've lied to me and as your master I find I don't appreciate your deception." Jorle told him outlining very clearly the implications of Severus's oversight, his disappointed tone verging on affront.

"I see. Yes looked at in that light, I can understand your disappointment in me sir." Severus said quietly, he looked away his finger tracing his lip again while he considered what to do.

He could very well lose his apprenticeship if his master insisted on being told the truth and Severus denied him. It was part of the contract between apprentice and master, the sharing of all new theories and idea's between them. It allowed the master to not only guide their apprentice correctly, hopefully steering them from harmful or erroneous notions. While it simultaneously gave the master the ability to claim some credit or recognition for their students discoveries while under their tutelage, as it said very much for the environment and context that a master provided for their students. This was very important to a master as it determined the regard and esteem he was given by the community as a master of his trade and his desirability for future apprenticeship requests.

"I have much that I can not tell you Master unless I have your oath that you discuss it with no one by myself. This information I would gladly share if it was only my life that hung in the balance, but it would be the guillotine to my efforts to protect a great deal of lives, sir. Forgive me my impertinence but I must demand this, I understand if you do not wish to do so, and I am prepared for dismissal from your service for breaking our contract and more importantly your trust." Severus said respectfully.

If he was dismissed it would surely be a mar on his career, but he had no great qualms over it as he might have had. He was thankful now that he had already made his allegiances with the headmaster that would guarantee him a teaching position, if he hadn't he'd be liable to suffer greatly from the Dark Lords disappointment in him for ruining his chances to be a spy at Hogwarts. He might even have killed him for it. Severus mused darkly as he waited for his Master to respond. Jorle had sputtered indignantly when Severus demanded an oath. But now he just sat with a dark expression, considering Severus' words.

"Severus, be assured that I don't hesitate to give you my oath of silence, I would give it in a heartbeat. I have great faith in you my boy. But what alarms me is considering what exactly you're involved in, and I need your reassurances on that count before I can bind myself to silence." Jorle explained in a very affectionate but apprehensive tone.

"Please assure me that you are not involved with all the madness in Britain, I do not want to be caught up in the middle of that bloodshed. I sincerely hope that you aren't involved but I have my reasons for doubting, you understand, one can not be too careful." Jorle said rather sheepishly ashamed of his show of cowardice. Severus smiled , or rather quirked the edges of his mouth, it rather looked more like a flustered grimace. He sat forward looking at his hand in his lap before he continued.

"Suffice it to say for now before I have your oath, your suspicions are correct, I am involved in it. I leave it to your discretion and judgment of my character to decide where you believe I've placed my loyalties. If you do not wish to be placed under oath before I tell you what they are, I'll say again, I'm prepared to suffer the consequences of breaking my trust with you." Severus hedged, ever the Slytherin he gave information without giving any real information, and left it entirely up to Mater Aulus to judge the situation. Granted Severus stood to lose his apprenticeship, but his Master was now backed into a tight corner by his own words, either decision he made would indicate which side he had chosen in the war raging back in Britain which could potentially be life threatening to him if Severus was not on the same side.

Jorle snorted in disbelieving amusement, throwing his head back, retreating into the depths of his chair as he glowered at Severus.

"You cunning is commendable, I see my cowardice has outlived it's usefulness as you've now forced me to choose sides. Very well, I choose to place my faith in you Severus on the basis of our relationship as Master and Apprentice, you are a most promising protégé and I do not desire to dismiss you, it is for that reason alone that I will submit to this oath. But I reserve my judgment of your character to my own thoughts." Jorle parried skillfully avoiding going to either side and forging a way for himself head on. Severus was quite pleased with his reply as it furthered his respect for his already very formidable mentor. Severus nodded to Jorle with a small smirk at his masters irritation in being so expertly verbally trapped.

"By my wand, Severus Snape, you have my oath that what you reveal to me here today I will discuss with no one but yourself." He swore formally before gathering himself up in his anger,

"Now once and for all boy, don't toy with me, show me your left arm." Jorle demanded the power of the command in his voice as much as the anger was displayed in the magical energy that hung in the room, daring Severus to deny him and face the consequences.

_In for an inch, in for a mile._ Severus thought in defeat.

No more any cowardice or trying to hide behind words, Jorle was making it quite clear that he was against the Dark Lord if his expression when he saw Severus' complexion pale was any indication of his own moral leanings. He saw Severus' slight hesitation and loss of color and with a thunderous expression as he stood from his chair as he said,

"Enough, you've as good as confirmed it. Now tell me why I should not throw you out now for your deceit?" Jorle cut him gesticulating wildly, and stopping Severus from further unbuttoning his sleeve. Severus stood with him, with a blank expression he continued, his emotional response carrying away his words before he thought them through.

"You claimed the right to reserve your judgment of me sir, I ask you now to stand behind your claim and give me ample time to enlighten you of the precarious position I am in. I could no more share this information with you, than I could the woman I've bound my soul to. It is due to my situation that I'm forced to allow to her to move on and break the bonding that I forced and never should have initiated to begin with."

Severus began pacing the room and then remembered to ward the room against eavesdroppers and intrusion. Jorle's eyes widened in fear slightly at Severus' display of paranoia here in his home in France, so far removed from the war in his home in Britain. Severus stopped at the fireplace and rested his arm on the mantle before he began his story from the very beginning.

"While I was still in school I received that journal as a gift from my future self, who sent it back in time with a time-turner 22 years to help me correct mistakes that he regrets deeply. He wrote in it instructions on key dates about what I can expect, and how it originally effected the future. I am a spy, sir. I offered my services to Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix, I willing joined the Dark Lords ranks knowing full well what I would be required to do to prove my loyalty to him. My purpose is to save innocent lives that didn't need to be sacrificed the first time, and to avoid great missteps made by myself and others that ultimately lead to the fall of the wizarding world to the hand of the Dark Lord." Here Severus forcefully pulled his sleeve back and turn to show him the malevolent Dark Mark on his inner arm.

"I can only offer you proof of my joining the Dark Lords inner ranks, the rest you will have to decide to accept on your own judgment of my merit." Severus growled darkly before returning to face the fireplace while he buttoned his cuff and sleeve.

Jorle resumed his seat heavily with a confused expression, before his features softened and he called to Severus.

"Very well, I do believe you have a mysterious book from the future here that I find most intriguing. Come sit and tell me about it." He said resuming a more genial tone, indicating he did indeed have faith in Severus's purpose and intentions for good. Severus was actually quite surprised and resumed his chair apprehensively.

"The wards as you've already pointed out are keyed to my signature, but they were cast by my future self, not me, thus the reason I am not aware of their properties. I inadvertently triggered the locking ward last year and have been unable to access the information within since. My friend, who is indeed still at Hogwarts and preparing for a career in curse breaking, has been trying to figure them out for me all this time. Just this afternoon it appears he finally managed to learn the nature of the ward preventing me access. He wrote to inform me of this and had the journal delivered to me." Severus explained, he'd decided it would be best to still keep some secrets, he was not ready to divulge the true nature of the journal just yet. He wanted to see if Jorle could prove trustworthy with this much information before he gave him more on the nature of souls, and anything involving the families secrets on the Praesum.

"I see, that does make it all work out rather nicely. It's a bit too far-fetched for me not to believe you. Your to much of a pragmatist to make up such outlandish things, son. That being said, forgive my anger and mistrust earlier, I believed I was suffering a great disappointment in my most prized pupil yet." Jorle praised giving Severus a wide grin. Severus bowed his head respectfully at the praise.

"So if I understand you right, you need some guidance through the murky waters of being a double agent, and what's stopping you is this tricky password ward?" He asked succinctly. Severus nodded and waited to see what insight his master could give him in figuring it out.

"Well I guess the first step is to clarify what triggered the ward, do you know?" Jorle questioned him. Severus thought for a moment before answering.

"My best answer is that I made a decision that was against the advice it gave me." Jorle could sense that Severus was still withholding but he ignored it, fairly sure that there was probably some information about this situation that he simply didn't need, or want to know if he were honest with himself. So he instead of pressing him for more details, he took up his next question to help Severus figure out his problem.

"Maybe the password is related to an admission of your failing, that you will not further disregard the advice? Though if I am honest, I haven't a clue how one would create a charm to detect what your actions are. Tell me did your action or decision as you called it have a direct impact on the book, as in you were not supposed to bring it near water and you got it wet, or something of that sort?" jorle questioned, very adeptly seeing to the heart of the problem with logical brilliance.

Severus frowned at the question, it brought to light more than he'd expected. He deduced that the journal was at the very least a soul shard, at most the entire soul but that was highly less likely than the first. He knew that the old man had accepted Lily's fate and was affected by Severus's lack of the same acceptance. Severus believed everything the old man did was because of Her, even if the journal never implicitly told him so, he knew that he was at a very minimum imprinted on Her. If he was fully bonded as Severus believed then that would mean that he, as a soul, would still feel the effect of the soul bond stretched or even more probably broken from his journey through time. He wondered then if the soul in the journal suffered as much as Severus was suffering against his strained bond with Lily.

_Technically he is part of or the same as my soul, so then does he then feel the pain of this bond with Lily as well as whatever he might suffer from the one with Her? S_everus wondered, he didn't like the implications of his train of thoughts, and his anxiety over it was showing on his face. Jorle interpreted his dark expression,

"I take it we've struck the nail on the head. Perhaps then all you need is to consider what phrase or word would best denote your desire to rectify that action or decision." Jorle suggested, he sat back in his chair to mull over all that Severus told him. He had a great many more questions but he was not sure yet if he wanted to ask them. Most of them dealt with the curious nature of this journal, if it was indeed enchanted to somehow trigger a ward the way Severus claimed it did it would be a huge leap in charms development.

"Thank you master, that leaves me with a lot to consider. I'm pretty sure that you are correct, I'll have to spend some time considering what some possible passwords would be." Severus said gratefully.

All in all Severus felt he had made some progress towards solving this issue, Regulus had learned the how to get around the problem, he felt he was closer to understanding the old man in the journal, and he felt he had a new confidant in his Master. He was especially relieved that he was not going to be losing his apprenticeship but now he considered that it might be wise to ask his master if he would prefer to have his memory altered when Severus finished his apprenticeship. The last thing he wanted was for his mentor to be in any danger by knowing Severus' secret. For now felt he was safe to take advantage of what advice he could glean from a far wiser man than he, who he looked up to with respect and admiration as one would a father.


	21. Ceremonies and Rituals-Part 1(9,552)

A/N: Hello all,

Here's another longer chapter, sorry it took so long. More to come soon I have the next chapter nearly finished.

Mood music: My mood for this chapter was as fickle as Lily is. Suffice it to say I listened to some tunes, a lot of it with the same sort of theme. But I doubt you want a list of over 20 songs, I know you guys don't care about the music anyway ^.^

**Content Warning: PG-13 for mature themes.**

Disclaimer: not mine no money

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**Chapter 20: Ceremonies and Rituals**

Surviving the aftermath of her capture, rape, and ultimately her escape, was more trying than Lily expected it to be. She stayed her first night with the Potters; it was the only place she could think of when she'd managed to get enough wandless control to apparate away from the torture scene of the dungeon. If she'd not been able to do that, she was sure that she would be dead. She expected to feel relief for being alive. The man who raped her, her bonded, had been leading her to the next step of torture and most likely her death. She was sure of it, because of the immense sadness and heartbreak she'd felt from him as he guided her away from the low altar. But somehow in her panic Lily managed to fight against his hold on her and apparated away. However she hadn't been able to shake his grip on her completely so he followed her in side-along apparition. When they landed in the small copse not far from James' home she left him there badly splinched and ran for safety, praying that he would be ok, that he would survive and get away.

She didn't tell anyone about him fearing that they wouldn't understand that he was really a good person. She was sure the Aurors show up and would take him in and he'd be sent straight to Azkaban, she hoped that by leaving him he'd have some chance at survival. So it was some relief to her that the reverberating echoes of his pain never left her, it reassured her that he was alive an safe. But after days of the pain never leaving, with it weighing her down she began to fear the worst had happened all along.

_How would she know if he was alive and well?_ Lily wondered. She considered for a moment the nature of their connection, being soul bound to him and being able to feel his pain, he had to be able to feel her as well. She took great pains from then on to try to reassure him of her welfare. She knew he was probably suffering an immense guilt for the terrible things he was forced to do to her, and was convinced that she felt the pain of his guilt. So Lily did her best to radiate her forgiveness to him and soon she felt his answering relief and then she felt nothing. As if the door was closed between them.

Lily was furious with him at first for shutting her out. She could still feel their connection, as if she reached out with her mind she could grab onto him and pull him to her. She'd considered doing this at one point when her anger at his silence had overwhelmed her, her need and desire for him to touch, and hold her becoming unbearable. But her rational thought always won. She knew that he was in a precarious position as she deduced that he must have been a spy for the Order. So she would talk herself down from her rage, telling herself that he would come to her when it was safe.

Day's after her capture she was moved to the safe house with the McKinnon's. She and Marlene hugged each other fiercely when they met, crying in each other arms.

"Gods Lil, I'm so glad you are safe. I don't know how you made it out. I thought for sure you were dead." Marlene cried into her shoulder. Lily just sobbed in her friends arms letting out all the pent-up emotions she had, her fear for his safety, her terror over what happened and how close she'd been to her death. She wanted to badly to talk to her best friend and get her advice on how to handle the situation with her bonded, but she knew she would never be able to convince anyone of his innocence. No one would understand him the way she did, they couldn't feel his soul, the beauty of it, and the love and devotion that he had for her.

After a few minutes they broke apart and Marlene lead her to her room. The girls spent many days going over what had happened in their attack and how the other had managed to escape. Lily suspected that her bonded was responsible for their safe escape she remembered seeing his silver mask under the debris of the blown in wall, and then the same one who stunned her. She wondered what had happened and how she'd managed to get captured, so when Marlene told her they'd found portkeys on them she assumed that something may have gone wrong with hers.

"I keep thinking it over and over in my head Lily that we should have stuck to our plan. None of us would have been home that night if we would have gone to your parents' home to collect your things. I never should have let Sirius talk us out of it. I feel as if the whole thing was my fault, if I hadn't been so caught up in trying to flirt with Sirius you never would have gone through any of it." Marlene broke into tears again as her guilt overwhelmed her. Lily got up from where she sat on the foot of the bed and walked to her friend and held her.

"It's ok Marlene; you can't blame yourself for Death Eaters attacking us. It's not your fault! I don't blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself." Lily consoled her, rocking her as she stroked her hair.

"What if dad doesn't make it Lily? I don't know if I can live with myself. I'll always believe it was my fault we were at home that night. They say his heart is not handling the curse he took; they don't think he will make it." Marlene's words ended as she continued to cry inconsolable. Lily felt sorry for her friend and the guilt she was suffering, and she just held her and rubbed her back until she was calm again.

"You can't blame yourself Marlene, it's not healthy. You never know your dad might pull out of it." Lily said weakly, it wasn't a very good attempt to comfort her friend but it was all she could come up with.

"I'm sorry Lily, I'm being so selfish. Here you are comforting me when you are the one who suffered more than anyone." Marlene said apologetically as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She led them both back the to bed and the sat down facing each other.

"Are you OK? They told us you only had minor injuries, but I know what they did. How are you holding up?" Marlene asked holding Lily's hand in her lap. Lily looked down at their hands and said,

"I'm fine, I don't remember very much of the actual rape. I was sort of detached from it all, so I don't even remember the specifics of it thankfully. No the hardest thing to deal with are th- " Lily's breath caught and she began to had a mini panic attack unable to catch her breath for a few moments, while Marlene rubbed her arms to help calm her down. Once she caught her breath tears streamed silently down her face.

"The other people that were caught, they were tortured. Even a little boy, Marlene they made him watch as they did horrible things to his parents then they tortured and killed him too." She sobbed and wiped her eyes, "There was so much blood, and then they were leading me toward all their broken and twisted bodies. That was when I panicked and managed to apparate away." Lily told her friend. Marlene gave her a sad smile,

"I'm so glad you are such a brilliant witch. You'll be ok Lily, you tell me if you need anything. If you need to talk about it. I'm here." Lily nodded at her friends kind words and they hugged again.

Over that summer Lily saw a lot more of Remus, he made it his personal mission to be her rock of solidarity. He got permission from Dumbledore to take her away from the small country cottage where they were hiding, to bring her to his base of operations in London for a change of scenery. It did wonders for her mood to be able to get away from the grieving family. Mr. McKinnon survived for only another week before his heart gave up fighting the unknown curse he was hit with. She'd been doing her best to keep Marlene from torturing herself with guilt but was struggling under the gloom that permeated the house.

Remus was her lifesaver, the change of scenery was just what she needed. Then after the first few visits he'd invited James, Sirius and Peter to his flat. They would talk and laugh for hours like the old times, an unspoken truce that nothing about the war should ever be brought up. One weekend when her and Remus were alone at the flat, eating a light breakfast as the watch the sunrise over the bustling city, Remus brought up her capture delicately.

"Lily I know you probably don't want to talk about what you went through, but I'm worried about you. Traumatic things like that can have a bad effect on how we are able to form future relationships, and I want to make sure you are ok. I'd like to see you moving on with life." Remus sighed as he collected his thoughts. That sat side by side on the balcony with a bowl of fruit between them their legs stretched and crossed in front of them, as they leaned against the building while they watched the sunrise.

"I know your plans for school have been ruined now that you've been forced into hiding, till it's safe again. What I mean to say is maybe you could move on to the next step after that." He said tentatively.

"You want me to get married Remus, are you proposing to me?" Lily asked him playfully, she knew he wasn't since their friendship was always completely platonic. Remus laughed and bumped his shoulder into hers.

"You could never tie me down, you know that." He returned with a smile before grabbing a piece of fruit and popping it into his mouth. He continued,

"No I was thinking that maybe you could give James another chance. He's still in love with you, you know." Remus said quietly.

"Ah I see, so James has put you up to this. You are suddenly cheering him on now, trying to get back into their little marauder club? I'm shocked Remus." Lily said honestly surprised. She'd honestly believed that Remus would forever disprove of her relationship with James after the incident with Bellatrix.

"I've made my amends with them, but no I'm not asking for his sake. I'm asking for yours. I know you and James really connected, you had something special even if he was a complete wanker. The fact is he's matured, he proved that last year in calling for the truce and then standing up and speaking out about Voldemort when everyone else was afraid to even say his name. That takes serious guts. It's changed my opinion of him, I'll admit it." Remus confessed picking at some lint on his shirt as he spoke before he looked up to meet her doubtful expression.

"Lily I just want to see you happy, and you seem listless, like your pining over the loss of your life. I just want to help you see that you can still have a good life, and maybe it's not with James but I think you should move forward all the same. I'll even help you, I'll sneak you out to muggle nightclubs if I have to." Remus said mischievously making Lily laugh.

"All right, Remus. I understand, really. I'm just not sure I'm ready to think about a serious relationship, but I promise that I'll consider what you've said." Lily said patting his leg next to hers. Remus looked at her appraisingly, trying to gauge her emotions.

"Do you need to talk about what happened? I swear I'll listen to whatever you need to say, and I won't tell anyone else." Remus said seriously. He was hoping to get her to open up about things so he could better gauge how she was dealing with the soul bond. Lily frowned and looked down to her lap letting her hair fall forward to hide her face from him.

It had been months since everything had happened and she still was being shut out by him. She didn't know how to find out more about soul bonds with out anyone getting suspicious, and she really needed to be able to understand what she was feeling. It was hard to ignore the ache she felt and she'd begun to worry if something more was going on when her magic started behaving funny. Without looking up she said,

"If I talk about it you have to promise that you will not judge me." Lily said tentatively.

"I would never, I promise. I want to help." Remus said fervently and grabbing her hand, giving her a squeeze of reassurance.

"I think that I met a spy for our side, because he tried to protect me. Whoever he was, when he had to rape me he took me away from the experience." Lily stared at her hands fidgeting nervously and feeling the heat rising in her face from blushing, she explained further haltingly.

"He pulled my mind away I gather he must be a Legilimens. Anyway, I could feel his soul, and his intentions, I could feel the sadness and dread he felt for what he had to do." Lily's voice became quiet and slowly explained what she'd experienced. She rubbed her chest unconsciously,

"He wanted to protect me so fiercely! I think, because of what I know of what happens when souls embrace, I think that he actually really loved me, like we connected." She exhaled a breath she'd been holding and pressed her hands into her chest against the pain she felt there remembering the feeling of his anguish.

"He was struggling, he couldn't force himself to commit the act, and the Death Eaters were staring to notice his reluctance." She paused,

"He wanted my permission. I know it sounds weird and you're probably thinking I was cursed. But I don't think there is anyway a curse could make me feel so loved. There was something so pure between our souls embrace, and that exchange. I knew it was real. I gave him permission and then I helped him. In our minds I kissed him and took charge so that he could get on with what he had to do outside, so he could let go of his guilt. I knew he was trying to protect me and I trusted him, and I love him for it." Lily was crying as she whispered her faith in her mysterious protector.

"Together we just lost ourselves in the feelings between our souls, hiding from the terrible reality. We soul bonded. I could feel the magic of it and I still do." She said rubbing the ache she felt in her chest.

"But I don't understand it. I need to understand what it is and what happened." Lily said taking a deep breath and speaking with conviction.

"He told me that he would find me when it was safe." Lily said and her fingers brushed the small black crow tattooed inside her wrist. She looked sideways at Remus to see him studying her with a dark expression of concern. Lily smiled and tried to reassure him.

"I'm ok really, it could have been so much worse, and I know that. I'm very grateful for what he did. But I feel like I want to wait for him, for it to be safe for him to find me. I just don't know anything about soul bonds, I know that they aren't a common practice anymore." Lily looked contemplative and she drew her knees up to her check and set her chin on top as she thought.

Remus finally spoke, his voice came out gravelly so he stopped to clear it before he continued gently.

"I know something of soul bonds. It's a practice only used and passed on by a few pure blood families. Maybe I can answer your questions?" He offered. Lily laid her head sideways on her knees and looked at him with a smile.

"Thanks Remus!"

"What do you want to know?" Remus prompted, he reached up and tucked her long hair behind her ear, before he turned to face her cross-legged, to await her barrage of questions. Lily thought for a minute before she turned and mirrored his position.

"Well right after for the first few days I could feel his emotions. I could feel his anguish and regret and sorrow. It took me a little while to realize this but I tried to make him understand that I've forgiven him. But I'm really worried, because I felt his relief and then it was like I was cut off. Like a muggle telephone, he hung up on me or something." Lily tried to explain. Remus tried to see if he could twist this to his advantage.

"Lily, do you think he might have died? I mean he could have been punished for your escape." Remus said trying to keep the hopeful tone from his voice. It would be too easy to get her to move on if she believed he died. Lily's eyes widened in renewed fear. She'd always believed he'd lived, survived the splinching and had just wanted her forgiveness before his shut her out. But when Remus posited that he could have died the fear overtook her again.

"B-but I can feel him still, in a way. I feel like if I- I concentrate I could find him no matter where he is." Lily stuttered her expression one of fear and panic. Remus truly felt bad for her and considered letting this tactic go seeing her so fearful, but her remembered his responsibility to the Professor. Gritting his teeth he pressed onward twisting the truth of what he knew to make drive the idea home.

"You know that in a soul bond you give a piece of your soul away and then take a piece of theirs in return. It's common when one partner of a bond dies for the other to still feel as though their bonded is with them because they still carry that shard of their soul. But the person won't really be there. You wont feel the connection anymore." Remus lied, hoping that she didn't consider Occlumency shields, which was the true reason she couldn't feel Severus any longer.

"Oh, no. Remus, is that why it hurts? I have this pain, a deep ache, and when it gets really bad I lose control of my magic it goes all haywire on me. Oh please no." Lily put her face in her hand and cried silently rocking back and forth. Remus kneeled in front of her and pulled her by her shaking shoulder so her feet and held her tightly.

"Lily I'm so sorry. I know it must feel awful. I'm sure he would have wanted to know you were safe before he gave up. From what you said it really sounds like he's died. Shhh, you'll be ok." Remus comforted her as she sobbed, gently rocking her.

"It makes sense now, the aching I feel. Will it ever go away, Remus?" She asked into he shoulder with a sniff.

"I think it might hurt for a while longer especially at first. But they say the only way to heal from a broken bond it is to fill the hole, so to speak. Find love again." Remus told her as he stroked her hair.

"Maybe not right away, but I still think you should move on. It's the only way to heal." He encouraged. Lily nodded into his shoulder and Remus let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, relieved that he was able to be successful in getting her to consider moving on and letting go. He had to make sure to emphasize to Severus how extremely important it was to keep her occluded at all times. If he let his barriers slip and she felt him through their connection then there would be no convincing her again.

"Come inside with me. We'll have a nice cup of tea and we can talk about how you want to move forward." Remus urged her inside from the balcony. Lily stopped him for a second hope written on her face that made Remus nervous.

"If he was really a spy from our side, Dumbledore would know if he is still alive!" She said excitedly. Remus groaning internally chiding himself for not thinking of that. Severus didn't want to involve the Headmaster in the details of the soul bond so he was going to have to find a way to get Dumbledore to tell Lily their spy had been killed without telling him about the bond. Thinking quickly he tried to find a way around it.

"I've got to report to him this week, I can ask him if you like? I will just say that the spy revealed himself to you and you'd like to know if he is safe. Does that sound good?" Remus asked, "That will keep your situation private, and you can have closure one way or another."

Lily smiled gratefully,

"It's perfect Remus. I know I shouldn't be excited but I feel I have some hope still." Lily replied. Remus sighed as he followed her inside the flat and shut the balcony door. He certainly had his work cut out for him.

Remus did exactly what he told Lily when he met with Dumbledore. He told the headmaster that Lily believed they all owed their escape to a spy, and she wanted to know if he had made it through the experience safely, so that if he hadn't she could honor his memory and his sacrifice for them. Dumbledore didn't ask any further questions and agreed with Remus that it was best that she believed the spy had perished so that no rumors of the existence of a spy could get out.

So it was later that week that Dumbledore paid the small cottage where the four women were staying a visit.

Lily felt her heart sink when she saw his somber expression as the women all took a seat with him in the living room.

"I know you ladies are all very grateful to have escaped. Until recently I had not considered that you might want to know to whom you owed your freedom. Before I say anymore however I must impress how vital it is that you share this information with no one but each other." Dumbledore pause until he received nods from each of the women.

"We had a spy among the Death Eater ranks, it was he who managed to get you all out alive. But it has since been confirmed that he died or was killed shortly after." He finished, and Mrs. McKinnon tisked sadly.

"It is a shame to hear it, be we are so extremely grateful for his sacrifice. Thank you Albus for telling us so that we could honor his memory. What was his name?" Marion Mckinnon asked.

"I'm sorry but I can not tell you his name without putting more people at risk. I feel it is safe enough for you to know of his sacrifice." Dumbledore said looking to Lily significantly. Lily couldn't hold her composure any longer and she cried out miserable and held her chest. Dumbledore frowned and for a moment looked uncomfortable. Seconds later his expression changed and he spoke to Lily firmly.

"Miss Evans perhaps it is time you and I had a chat about your experience. If you will excuse us, ladies. She will be along shortly." Dumbledore dismissed Marion, Marlene, and Mary. Once they had left He turned back to Lily who was trying to wipe her eyes and regain her composure. Studying her closely he said,

"Miss Evans, I feel there is more about your situation that you have not divulged. What happened?" He demanded gently but forcefully. Lily had wanted to keep her circumstances from Dumbledore but released that she'd given herself away and he'd likely already read her thoughts. She nodded to him as she tried to catch her breath and get control over her voice.

"We were soul bonded, sir. I had been feeling pain and unable to feel him. Remus said I was likely that He'd died and offered to find out for me."

Dumbledore's face was furious and he stood up from across from her and went to the window to hide his anger. In a voice of tightly controlled anger he told Lily.

"Miss Evans I'm deeply sorry that he would perform and defile such an act of purity under such circumstances. It is probably best that he did die in this case, as you both would have suffered greatly from such a tainted bond." Dumbledore turned back to face her, and tried to give her a small smile.

"It will be very important for your healing for you to move on from this, to let him go, and quickly replace him so that you do not suffer from the magical backlash of a broken bond. It is very serious Miss Evans. You could be left completely bereft of your magic if you do not. No doubt you have already begun to suffer the magical loss?" He questioned her. She nodded in response.

"I will send over so potions that will help you to fight it off. And I must insist that you try to reignite the fire you once had with Mr. Potter or some other lucky chap. It is for your own good." Dumbledore said gently.

"Yes sir. It's going to be rather hard to do any of that while I'm in hiding though sir." Lily answered. They saw almost no one at the cottage they stayed in, the only relief Lily had was her visits to see Remus and the occasional times she'd seen the other three Marauders there over the course of the summer.

"That will prove to be a complication, I will allow you and the eldest Miss McKinnon the weekends spent with your friends that are members of the Order. I've been meaning to arrange a headquarters for people to connect with other members to help each other through these dark times." Dumbledore said thoughtfully.

"The Prewitt Family has graciously offered up their home as a candidate location at the last Order meeting. I will have it all arranged and will contact you all when the time comes." Dumbledore said standing and walking to the door to leave before he paused and turned back to her.

"Do not forget, it is vital that you separate yourself from what is left of that soul bond. It will only cause you more pain." He gave her a sad smile before he replaced his pointed star covered hat and let himself out.

True to his word the Order Headquarters where established and the Prewitts home became a beacon for all the people working for their cause. The young Molly and Arthur Weasley were nearly always present, Molly usually helping her mother run the household, with their three small boys running about the house and twin toddlers on each hip. Lily and Marlene would take Mary to play with Bill who was her age and then they would relieve Molly of the mischievous toddler duo so that she could prepare the large feasts they often shared with other Order members every weekend.

By the time the one year anniversary for her parents death had arrived that spring, Lily was well on her way to starting her new life as recommended by Remus and Dumbledore. She and James had been steadily getting closer, but it was his support for her when she was at her lowest those few weeks mourning her parents again that endeared her to him.

But Lily still occasionally struggled with the pain of her bond and at night she would dream of him, longing for his touch. On the worst of nights she would satisfy her needs with fantasies of them together, as if he'd survived, then cry herself to sleep from the ache of the loss. Ultimately she knew she needed to stop torturing herself, and just let him go, and by the time a year had passed since his death she felt she couldn't handle the pain any longer. She refused to think of him and she focused all her attentions on James.

James at first was very surprised by her increase in affection toward him but wasted no time, proposing to her in front of the entire order as they picnicked on the garden lawn outside Headquarters. He was so excited by her acceptance that he pulled her up from where she sat on the picnic spread and danced with her around the garden fountain, twirling her around and laughing before pulling her to him for a passionate kiss.

Lily tried to ignore the increase in pain that she felt from the bond and kissed James back just as passionately. She quickly realized Dumbledore was right, the more she interacted with James, accepting and returning his affections the less pain she felt from her bond. They set their hand-fasting date for early November 1979, James proudly crowing to all that she would be the loveliest bride standing among all the fall colors.

Remus was usually too busy with his efforts in London to make it out to headquarters so Lily had not even seen him since her last visit the previous year in mid summer, when she had confided in him about her soul bond. But a few weeks after she and James were engaged in the late summer, Remus made a special effort to come and see her and give his congratulations.

Lily was laying in the grass in the garden playing with Fred and George with Marlene and watching the other children zip around on their toy brooms when Remus came out the back door looking for her.

"Remus!" Lily cried out in excitement.

He was pale and haggard and had a number of new scars that belied the dangerous work he was doing. When Lily saw him she jumped up from where she was sitting on the grass and ran to him squealing like a much younger girl would. Remus laughed and picked her up in his arms twirling her around playfully.

"I'm so glad you've come. I've missed my Moony!" Lily cooed in his ear. Remus laughed and squeezed her again before letting her down.

"It's good to see you again Lily. You look very well." Remus held their hands out and made her spin in circle for him as he checked her over. Lily laughed lightly before she became serious and took in his own features, she ran a finger over the new scars in his face concernedly.

"I wish I could say the same for you. You look rather beaten, I hope you are being safe Remus." Lily said worriedly. Remus brush her off and started walking over to where Marlene was sitting grinning at him from where she played with the twins on the grass.

"I look worse than I am, I had a long night that I'm still recovering from." He said to Lily, who then realized he'd still be recovering from the full moon, only two days previous. Lily wove her arm in his and turned to Marlene.

"We're going to take a walk around the garden and catch up, if you don't mind watching the kids on your own?" She asked her friend.

"Go on, I'll be fine. Molly will be bringing out those sandwiches any minute and they'll all be to occupied stuffing the chubby little cheeks to get into too much trouble." Marlene replied as she pinched the cheek of the twin that was sitting in her lap. Lily thanked her, Remus gave her a nod and the two walked away seeking privacy.

"I hear congratulations are in order, James told me you finally accepted his proposal and that you will be married in the fall." Remus said looking at her with a smile. Lily grinned widely,

"Yes we will. I'm very happy."

"Are you really? No problems with your -" Remus trailed off not wanting to say it out loud.

"It has gotten better, it still hurts sometimes. But it seems like the more I focus on James the less I feel the weight of it on me." She explained. Remus nodded understandingly.

"I am glad to see you happy. What do you do to stay busy?" He asked changing the subject. Lily took a deep breath and turned around and looked back at the children playing.

"Well most weekends we spend here and Marlene and I have taken to keeping the children out of Molly's hair so she and her mother can get the meals on and manage the house for all the people coming and going. I don't know how Molly does it all during the week alone with the five boys." Lily laughed and they stood there watching the old group of children throwing a quaffle back and forth as they hovered on their toy brooms in a circle. She looked back at Remus with a serious expression.

"How about you, how's the efforts going in London." She asked her concern for him plain in her tone and expression. Remus stuffed his hands in his pockets and hunched over a little.

"It's been very hard. They run in packs and I have to break into each one and try to convince them while trying not to piss off their alpha in the process." Remus sighed.

"I've managed to get a good number of them but they all want a pack leader, and I'm not cut out for that. I haven't got the fight in me to maintain a position of dominance and hold off all the challengers." Remus pointed to the scars on his face.

"A gift from one such challenger. For the most part the work's been successful. We've got the incentive that most of them need. But there are some that enjoy what we are, that revel in it." Remus shuddered as if remembering a bad memory. Lily rubbed his arm. And they stood in silences watching the kids play from a distance for a few minutes.

Lily had a question come to her that she'd been meaning to ask Remus.

"Have you heard from Severus since graduation? I haven't heard anything about him, and I just remembered that your parents were sponsoring his apprenticeship." Lily asked. She didn't notice Remus tense and straighten a little before he looked at her with a blank expression.

"No I haven't, he declined their sponsorship in the beginning of last year before we graduated. I guess since you two were not speaking anymore you wouldn't know, he'd had his mother family estates reinstated to him. He lives near Cardiff in Wales now, but he'll not have completed his apprenticeship till this coming spring, so he'd be in France still." Remus explained warily. Lily frowned at the news, she hadn't realized how out of touch she'd been with him.

"I had no idea. I regret how distant I became to him. I was scared when my parents were killed and I was tired of seeing him be friendly with the Death Eater crowd, and having to sneak around to be with him." Lily said, she reached out and grabbed at a tree branch and plucked a leaf off it picking it to shreds as she lots herself in her memories. Remus watched her in silence until she spoke again.

"If he wasn't so ambitious I can honestly say he an I might have had a shot. But I wasn't willing to be his secret girlfriend. I needed support and he couldn't give that to me. I have to say at the end I worried a lot about how deep he'd gotten in to the dark arts." Lily said glancing up at Remus furtively, not wanting to upset him by saying something against his best friend. Remus just shrugged, so Lily continued.

"Do you think he did eventually join their ranks? Became a Death Eater? I've always worried because of that attack on those muggle girls over Christmas break. They had magical cuts all over them. They never identified the spell because it was never registered, and I knew Severus created a spell that cut, he cut my hair with it in our fight." She dropped the last few pieces of the shredded leaf and gave a sigh of sadness.

"I don't know Lily, I haven't spoken to him but as his friend I know whatever he does he'll try to do it for the right reasons." Remus said loyally and Lily gave him a small smile.

"Do you think it would be appropriate for me to invite him to the hand-fasting. I haven't been able to decide. I don't want to hurt him, I'm not sure if he'd be hurt for knowing I'm going to marry James or if he'd be hurt more finding out later from someone else." She explained.

"I think it would be best you didn't send him one, he wouldn't be able to come during his apprenticeship anyway. Since you two aren't exactly on speaking terms he wouldn't expect anything from you." Remus advised.

"I'll tell him myself when he is done with his apprenticeship." he promised and they moved on to other topics much to his relief.

* * *

Severus had spent the entire summer trying to figure out the password to the journal. He'd tried every variation of apology that he could think of, when that didn't work he started simply talking to the book about everything that was going on hoping that maybe something he said would trigger the password. He was getting nervous about not being able to get advice on what to do.

So far he'd been called for the two Revels had when they added new members to their ranks and a handful of planning meetings of only the inner circle marked members. At the last Revel he attended, Regulus was initiated and Severus had spent the next day with his shell shocked, pale friend as he tried to cope with the horrific memories and the guilt of what he'd done.

Severus on the other hand, much to his relief, he'd been excused from participating in the killings and bloodbath and instead escorted to a potions lab and ordered to prepare large quantities of medical potions. It was obvious that the Dark lord was gearing up for something major. Severus warned Dumbledore that the Dark Lord was gearing up for something but wasn't able to give any specifics, which caused a bit more strain between him and the headmaster. He had greatly upset the leader of the Order, and the strain it placed on his trust in his spy was palpable when they conversed.

Albus had come all the way out to France personally, when he found out via Lily about their ill-fated bond, to inform him how bad of a decision that was.

"Surely you realize you've placed her in unimaginable danger by attaching yourself to her?" Albus had boomed at him in the privacy of his quarters behind heavy silencing wards. When Severus looked confused and indignant the headmaster scoffed and turned away from him to stare angrily into the fireplace.

"Think Severus! What would happen if you were in mortal peril? You cannot occlude that from her, she would know instantly that we'd all lied to her and with as sharp a wit as she has she'd have figured out how to locate you through the bond and been at your side in the thick of danger within moments." When Severus paled Dumbledore nodded at him gesticulating wildly.

"Yes, I see now you understand your rash actions. You have chosen to take up this path to be in this dangerous position to protect her and you've single handedly made herself, her greatest enemy."

Severus made weak excuses, saying things like he would not get himself into mortal peril and equally ridiculous statements that made him cringe later when he remembered. Ultimately the Headmaster had the right of it, until their bond was well and truly broken he'd put her directly into the path of harm, with no way of protecting her from it.

Near midnight, one night in early September, his mark burned signaling the call for a meeting. With out being able to put his finger exactly on what the difference was he knew instantly that this meeting was a private meeting between him and the Dark Lord, and his anxiety for the situation was at an all time high. He desperately tossed a few phrases at the journal and got nothing. So he grabbed his black cloak and silver mask, donning them before touching his mark and letting the call pull him through space to his fate.

When he landed he smoothly took an knee and bowed, taking in his surroundings with a covert look around. It was a cloudless night and they stood on one side of a grassy henge with it ancient stones power stones dotting the landscape around him. The seventeen day old moon was shining brightly overhead and casting eerie shadows from each monolithic stone. Riddle stood next to the largest stone and caressed it's surface, and Severus could feel the ley magic in the earth beneath his feet shudder as if in recoil from the touch of such a foul and evil presence.

"Severus, do you know where we stand?" The Dark Lord asked in a quiet, almost reverent whisper. Severus looked around more closely, he could see more stones and following their path saw hat they seemed to line the edge of the henge and at it center was a small muggle town set in the intersection that quartered the stone circle. He recognized something about it, it had a familiarity to it he could not place.

"I do not, my lord. " He answered honestly, still kneeling in the grass until Riddle waved him to rise then beckoned for him to come and feel the stone at which he stood.

"Can you feel its ancient powers?" Voldemort said grabbing Severus' wrist and placing his hand on the center of the stone. Severus could feel it, the entire place radiated a thrumming hum of magic beneath his very feet, he didn't need to touch the stone to know this was a place of great power. When his hand met the cool slightly moss covered stone rather than feeling the recoil the ley magic he felt it leap out to him and felt a rush of energy as it filled him. It knocked the wind from him and he was suddenly breathless. The Dark Lord grinned obviously pleased with the result of the action.

"Ah yes. As I had hoped. You see, Severus this is Avebury. It is one of many places of power that when properly used can help a wizard to channel great feats of magic. Sadly as with all the rest it was heavily warded by it's steward making it completely inaccessible to any but those who are members of the stewards line. The magic here recognizes it's master, Severus. You are the last surviving magical heir of the Prince line, and the last family entrusted with stewardship a fact that I was greatly surprised to learn." The Dark Lord explained.

"I had expected the Malfoy Family to be it's stewards as they are the stewards to it's smaller ceremonial site, Stonehenge, two miles west of here. That site sadly suffered a terrible fate and it's magic has been burned dry. Leaving behind a useless formation of stone. I require access to this site, and as it's steward you will grant me that access." He informed Severus in matter of fact tone. Severus felt the anger at his father rise like bile in the back of his throat at the demand and he quickly fought to repress it before the Dark Lord could pick up on it.

"My Lord, how might I do this? I'm unfamiliar with his information." Severus asked, he could feel deep in his bone that it was the very last thing he wanted to do the magic of very earth beneath him trembled in fear of it, as if pleading with Severus to protect it from evil. This was a place of purity, and it was not meant to be defiled by hands such as Riddle's.

"In my youth Severus I made a miscalculation of the worth of certain magical ties. You see had your mother not dabbled with her muggle lover, your father. I would have been your Father. I would be the steward to this sacred site even now." The Dark Lord said quietly looking around wistfully at the stones laid out before them in the moon light clasping Severus' shoulder as he spoke of his paternity. It took an untold amount of effort for Severus to repress his reaction to Riddle's near acknowledgement of being his father. The Dark Lord didn't miss the slight tensing of his muscles.

"My father?" Severus asked hoping to prompt him into telling him more so that he could gauge just how much the Dark Lord knew.

"Yes, dear boy. I was betrothed to your mother we were mere weeks from our handfasting, now I see that I should not have cast her aside so quickly for her dalliance with the muggle. But I had too much pride. I learned much later our handfasting would have been held on this very site as the transference of stewardship was given to me as the new head of your family line." His eyes scanned the landscape greedily.

"But surely Aurelius would have been given stewardship?" Severus said as he tried to understand.

"No the stewardship went to the eldest of the family line and his or her mate. It came into the Prince family when your great grandfather married Lucius' paternal great great aunt, her twin brother keeping stewardship of Stonehenge dividing the two powerful sites between two very powerful families."

"What is it that you are asking of me, my lord. I do not understand." Severus said with fear and apprehension on the edges of his voice.

"There is an ancient blood rite that can be performed when doors of the otherworld are opened that will bind us together as family, this will permit me access to the focusing power of these stones. On Samhain I will require your participation in this rite. In return I will bestow on you the honor of recognizing you thence forth as my son, and right hand among my most trusted advisers."

Riddle caressed Severus' head, stroking his hair as if he were some loving father doting on his child. Severus could feel his doom closing in around him and he felt the ley magic at his feet cringe sympathetically from the dread that was emanating from him.

"What must I do to prepare, for this honor?" Severus asked his voice breaking and coming out sounding emotional, as if he was deeply moved by the honor, rather than deeply terrified.

"Nothing all will be on hand when you arrive. I need only to warn you to be magically rested, sure that your magical store are stable for the transference, we will be handling more power than you can dream of." his voice touched into a level of excitement that trembled slightly, making his evil visage rather more terrifying, you would never want to see something so foul, and twisted looking that gleeful.

He dismissed Severus with a wave of his hand and he continued to walk along the worn path and touch each of the ancient stones with his filthy soul and his tainted magic. Severus bowed to him before he disapparated to Morgraig. His wards were such that only he could apparate into the castle at will. When he arrived in the foyer he stumbled and fell to his knee whether from his magical fluctuations or form his lack of focus and long distance of the apparition, it was hard to tell. His mother heard the loud crack and within moments was in the foyer with a worried expression.

"What is it Severus, are you all right?" She asked.

"I am living my nightmares." he whispered.

Severus explained to his mother what had transpired and how the Dark Lord very nearly discovered the truth of his parenthood, and what he was now requiring him to do. Eileen tried to comfort him, reassuring him that they would look into the ritual and learn more about handling the power of the focusing stones of Avebury.

"We should still be able to find some way of preventing him from using the stones, but we may not be able to find a way to thwart the blood ritual. It says here it is a sort of séance, where the souls of your ancestors are forced to come forth through the otherworld and recognize the magical bond you create making him eternally your blood kin." Eileen explained to him as they sat in the library around a coffee table, a few books scattered about them and a pair of teacup with untouched cold tea on the table between them.

Severus looked up from where he was reading about the focusing stones with a look of perplexity,

"How will it work though if we are already blood relations? And since we are blood relations already why didn't the stones respond to his touch the way it did to mine. Wouldn't he already have the ability to manipulate them as my blood kin if that is all it takes?" Severus questioned. Eileen frowned as she considered his questioned then flipped a few pages as she looked for a reference in the tome she held labeled Blood Ties Us All. When she found the passage she was looking for she read it out loud.

"The difference between a natural blood kin and a ritual blood kin is the invocation of the magic that creates the ties that bind them during the ritual, these create an magical affinity between the parties to grant them familial magical harmony. The blood kin ritual is commonly used in handfastings to a heiress to bind her mate's magic to her family magical protections and responsibilities. These include, wards, curses, oaths of honor, and life debts." She read and looked up to Severus fearfully who voiced her thoughts.

"There would be no way to keep him out. I will not allow that." Severus growled. He stood up and cast a tempus charm seeing that it was nearing sunrise he moved to leave and placed his hand on his mother's shoulder.

"I must get back to Aulus Estate. I will find a way around this mother. He will not come near you." Severus said he walked to his shell shocked mother and kissed the top of her head before he called for Charmie.

"Yes Master Severus?" She said her ears excessively perky for being called to serve so early.

"Charmie my magic has been fluctuating could you please take me to my rooms at Aulus Estate?" He asked looking a bit chagrined for having to ask for help. Charmie only got brighter and perkier

"It would be Charmie's great pleasure to get the master to his bed safely." Severus gave his mother a weak smile as he departed.

* * *

As time drew near to their wedding day, James became more and more pushy with Lily trying to force the progression of their intimacy toward the bedroom. Lily resisted playfully at first telling him to wait till after the hand-fasting. She did this because she still had some anxiety for getting back into bed for the first time since her rape. She was afraid of remembering that experience and ruining whatever experience her and James could possibly have together. If she was completely honest she was afraid of how badly it would hurt her her broken bond. It would be the final step she had to take to move on and she was reluctant to make it.

James continued to wheedle down her resistances until one night after a festive Halloween party at Headquarters. He brought her back to his home in Gordric's Hollow. It was nearing midnight and James was just a little tipsy from having few to many firewhiskeys with the boys. They frequently would share a room, sleeping beside each other and in each others arms, so Lily didn't think their evening would be much different as she steadied him up the stairs, giggling at him and his rather incoherent babbling and slurring. When they got into the room Lily grabbed for her nightshirt and pants and made to leave for the bathroom to change, James grabbed her wrist and pulled her against him. and took her clothes from her hands.

"You don't need those anyway." He said as he kissed her neck below her ear. Lily laughed at the ticklish sensation of his breath on her neck.

"James, we've only got a week to go till the ceremony surely you can wait that much longer." Lily said trying not to make him angry by saying it in a teasing tone. James just snorted at her as he moved to unzip her party dress.

"It doesn't make a difference if we do it now or the hand-fasting Lily, it's not like your some unspoiled virgin that I'm saving myself for." James said rather harshly and Lily turned indignant and pushed him off of her. James not expecting such a harsh reaction stumbled rather awkwardly backwards.

"How dare you James? Your drunk, go to bed. I'm going back to the cottage until you sober up." Lily said as she tugged up the zipper on her dress. James jumped on her keeping her from leaving and pressed her viciously against the wall pinning her arms behind her. One hand grabbing at her breasts while the other went up her skirt and rubbed her through her knickers roughly. His teeth connected with her collarbone leaving deep impressions as he pressed his hard groin into her. Lily tried to push him off of her once she'd struggled to get her arms free, pushing against his chest, when that was unsuccessful she pushed his hands away from her only for him to reach of and slap her across the face hard knocking her into a daze for a moment. He ignored her pleas for him to stop, he ignored her cries in pain. But when he struck her she'd had enough and she snapped action. Lily kneed him hard in the groin and James immediately collapsed into a moaning swearing heap on the floor.

Lily took off downs stairs and used the floo to get back to the cottage where she lived with the McKinnons. She warded the floo to keep anyone from arriving, knowing the McKinnons would already be in bed. She fell to her knees on the hardwood floor and started to shiver and shake from the aftermath of her adrenaline and the onset of shock. She had images of her capture coming back full force. She sat there on the floor and rocked herself trying to find some comfort she reached for her bond and tried to wrap herself in the small shreds of that ache that felt like home.

It wasn't long after that her heart nearly stopped from surprise when she felt him through the bond for the first time in a year and a half, her joy and relief at connecting with him at last and that he was still alive was quickly overshadowed when she realized what exactly she was feeling from him. He was in danger and his life hung in a delicate balance. She didn't hesitate she grabbed onto the connection and willed herself to his side. She would not lose him again, even if it meant to die by his side.

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A/N #2: Evil cliffy. ^.^ muahahaha! I win.


	22. Ceremonies and Rituals Part II(6,608)

A/N: First off I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing and apologize to anyone I have yet to respond to. I love hearing from you all, but I have not been able to keep up with the phenomenal response you've all been getting. Congrats for OliveB for landing 300th review. I now have 3 amazing one-shot prompts that I will be working on between down times for chapters, I will try to get them up as soon a possible though.

To answer a few questions:

**YES this is STILL a SSHG story.** Let me bold and underline it for you. The story's summary has been updated to make this **more clear**, and I'm pouting that I've had to take such steps. Believe it or not, I intentionally to set this story to SSHG because amazingly that is what it is. If you feel like I have misled you and forced you to read a SSLE story I sincerely apologize. Pardon this SSHG shipper her sweet revenge.

**Content Warning: Mature, Rated R, 17+, NSFW - Lemons - swearing - light gore. **

**Ignore paragraphs between ~*~ if you want to skip the lemon.**

**Mood Music: 'Radioactive' by Imagine Dragons**

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money.

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**Chapter 21: Ceremonies and Rituals Part II**

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Regulus watched sympathetically as Severus nervously paced his quarters at Aulus Estate waiting for the burn of the call. Tonight was Samhain, and tonight was the night he would be forced into a blood kin rite with the Dark Lord. In preparation for the complete take over of his families estates by the Dark Lord, Severus transferred ownership of Spinners End to Regulus. Eileen moved back in to the home and Regulus set all the wards on the home and Severus was made its secret keeper. Severus wasn't sure if blood rite would give the Dark Lord access to all his wards or just those that were in place that came with his inheritance and birthright, but he refused to take a chance with his mothers safety and Regulus was more than happy to assist.

Regulus had begun his own apprenticeship in Bulgaria and had worked hard through out the summer, and really enjoying himself. He'd even gotten his master to take up the project of a time-lock ward and together they'd been diligently working the runes and arithmantic equations trying to make it work. He was hopeful that they would have a solution soon.

His attention was brought back to his pacing friend when he stopped suddenly. The time had come for him to meet the Dark Lord. Up until that point they were not sure if all the Death Eaters would be summoned for that night So Severus told Regulus where the ritual would take place and asked him to be on standby so he could send a patronus if he needed back up.

"You'll do fine, if you don't, then send for me. You mother has Cearl with her. That's everything you can do." Regulus listed off for him reassuringly clapping him on the shoulder.

"Thank you Regulus." Severus replied silkily, his face a blank mask as he pulled up his sleeve and pressed his finger to his mark and disappeared.

Severus appeared in nearly the same place as before, and the Dark Lord again stood waiting for him. Severus approached him and bowed, waiting to be told what was expected of him.

"Are you sufficiently rested Severus? Your magic has to be in peak condition as you will have to bear the entire weight of the ley magic here to transfer it to me and grant me stewardship." Severus nodded his head in answer. Riddle directed him to kneel, facing him, in front of the large stone pillar that was ringed with candles and had an elaborate circular rune burned into the grass around them. Riddle pulled out his wand and aimed it at his and arm and incanted,

"I call upon my blood." a vertical slice appeared in his pale flesh and it oozed a dark blackened blood slowly from the wound. Severus mirrored his actions and from his own cut a bright red blood flowed freely. Riddle grasped his arm, wrist to wrist , and wound to wound, allowing their blood to mix before he began to chant again.

"I call upon the ancestors of Severus Snape, last heir of the Prince line and steward of Avebury, to recognize this bond of blood that I may share in his burdens, and be protected as his kin." Then he nodded to Severus to repeat him.

"I Severus Snape call upon my ancestors, as last heir of the Prince line and Steward of Avebury, to recognize this bond of my blood that he might share my burdens and protections as my kin." Severus said, watching a bright red band wove around their arms binding them together tightly.

Severus couldn't help but wonder if Riddle even guessed at the truth, if he never considered that he'd fathered a child the night he'd raped Eileen for power and greed. Severus had to take a moment and reinforce his occlusions. His anger was building rapidly threatening to spill over, he felt such hate for the man before him and he looked forward to the day they found out how to destroy him.

Severus was brought out of his murderous thoughts and efforts at calming his mind when he saw a host of corporeal beings gathering around them sanding on the edge of the rune. Many he could recognize from the portraits that hung in Morgraig, a few he'd had a passing conversation with and he wondered briefly if they had memories of those conversations. They spoke in a thundering chorus that reverberated through Severus whole being, making him feel as though he'd not heard them with his ears, but with his soul.

"We have been called forth from the otherworld to recognize the bond of blood between Father and Son. Do you Tom Riddle, accept the burdens of honor, and will you shoulder the responsibilities of the Prince's in their entirety?"

"I accept." Riddle acknowledged his face showing his excitement and greed for the transference of the stewardship. Then a single corporeal form stepped forward to the very edge of the rune holding them at bay.

"There is a burden of honor that must be paid. On his honor Severus has sworn to find vengeance for his mother, outcast heiress of the Prince's. My daughter. You Tom Riddle must pay for the life and magic you've stolen." The ghost of Severus' grandfather spoke with reverberating rage before he stepped back into the circle. A shimmery form of Eileen Prince floated out of Riddles body and then once separated shot away into the night.

"Honor is paid" the host said as one.

Tom's eyes went wide in shock and fear as he heard the pronouncement. Severus made sure to look sufficiently confused at what was going on, but he was deeply gratified wanting to cheer for whatever it was that had just happened, but he suspected his mothers magic would be returned to her at last.

"What is the meaning of this, Severus!" Riddle demanded, he couldn't break the bonding now without suffering only the price of honor, he had yet to receive the transference of stewardship. He yanked on Severus arm demanding an answer.

"My Lord? I've sworn since I was a child I would make my father pay for what he did to my mother. He's a mere muggle, I've sought my vengeance on him." Severus said feigning ignorance.

"What is the meaning of this!" Riddle yelled to the host. Looking around at them all and settling on his grandfather again as he stepped forward to answer.

"You've accepted the burden of honor and ownership, payment has been demanded. You, Tom Riddle brought his mother to ruin, you are his true father and only you can pay." Grandfather again stepped back into the host of souls.

"Impossible!" Riddle shouted in rage and he tried to remove his hand from the bond, but the red bands thickened and held him firm not allowing him to end the ritual. Riddle could feel his magical stores beginning to drain after a first significant dip he experienced when his bond to Eileen was severed. The host of ancestors continued the ritual, and his Great Grandfather then stepped forward and spoke,

"There is a burden of responsibility that must be shared. As the new patriarch of the Princes, you must shoulder the burden of the Stewardship of Avebury." He stepped back into the host and they chanted,

"Burdens are shared."

The ley magic rose up through Severus and flowed through their bonds and filled them both, causing them to glow with golden light from the energy that coursed through them. Riddle was not longer as excited as he was before, he was deep in thought trying to figure out the implications of all that had happened. The ley magic then receded back into the earth beneath their knees and the host of souls disappeared. The moment the red band released them Riddle jerked him arm away from Severus and stood up and began pacing as he thought. Severus followed him studying him with an expression of confusion.

"What did they mean? You are my father? How can that be?" Severus said trying to sound as confused and respectful as possible.

"I was the one who took your mother's innocence, then I set her up with that muggle to get rid of her. I had no use for a wife. I never considered that I fathered a child since I took no pleasure in defiling her. I did not believe my body produced any seed for a pregnancy to originate from." Riddle said in a bemused tone. Then he looked back at Severus. He came face to face with him and studied Severus. They were the exact same height, had the same hair color, same black eyes. Their actions mirrored each other as their eyes searched the others face for familiar features.

"My son." Riddle said, then chuckled to himself before he took a step back with his face twisted in to a sneer.

"Crucio!" Riddle threw as much power as he could muster into the spell then he took his hand and placed it on the focusing stone and felt the power of the Ley magic flow into him and increase the strength of the torture curse.

Severus buckled to one knee when spell hit him and grabbed on to Riddles robe on the way down. He forced through the pain, resolved not to bow further but to remain at least upright in the face of his tormenter, he struggled until he finally got behind his occlusion. He ground his teeth to keep from screaming in pain and forced himself to look up into his fathers face just as Riddle reached for the focusing stone. His body shook all over from the curse and when it was amplified by the stone blood spilled from his nose, mouth, eyes and ears. He held out for only moments under the weight of that power before he could hold on no longer falling forward to bury his face in the grass. Inside his mind his ocean was boiling and evaporating into billows of steam. Then he lost consciousness completely.

Riddle didn't hold the spell much longer as he felt his magic waiver until the curse just ended abruptly and he lost his hold of the magic he was channeling through the stone. They ley magic needing a place to flow, ricocheted back into him and knocked him senseless as it fled his body and returned to the earth. Riddle fell to his knees in front of his son confusedly looking at his wand hand wondering what was wrong with his magic. He reached out and summoned the other death eaters so that they could begin the nights Revel. As he got up from the ground to await their arrival he was surprised when the first person to appear was Lily Evans.

"Ah Miss Evans, how good of you to come. So, he was successful in binding you after all." Riddle said as he laughed evilly as he stalked her.

Lily had her wand out and trained on Voldemort as she warily knelt beside her bonded and tried to get a hold of him. Riddle threw a curse at her and she quickly blocked it with a white shimmery shield. Seconds later the death eaters began arriving, and she saw black robes and silver masks surrounding her.

She grabbed onto her bonded and disapparated them to the park where she played as a girl, knowing there was a muggle motel nearby that she could take him to hide once she'd made sure he was ok. Lily rolled him over to his back and saw his face covered in blood, making him unrecognizable at first. But there was something there with shaking hands she wiped his face and immediately recognition set in.

"Severus? Oh my gods, Sev. What have you done?" Lily said mournfully as she caressed his face and wiped the blood from it. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and put her forehead on his chest and cried wallowing in their shared agony and sorrow for a moment.

After a few moments of her breakdown she pulled herself together and she frantically grabbed her wand and cast a diagnostic spell on him. He had dangerously low blood pressure and wounds internal and external. She healed his tongue that he'd nearly bit in half, cauterized the arteries and veins that had burst in his nose and eyes, then she repaired the broken eardrums. When she saw the bloody gash on his wrist she panicked as the blood had been flowing from that wound freely for a while. At first she didn't know how to heal it properly, then she remembered the healing spell that Severus had created.

"Vulnera Sanetur." She incanted trying to keep her voice stead. She repeated it three times before the wound was healed. There was nothing she could do for his magical level or blood pressure with out potions and she tried to think of where she could get some for him. She knew she couldn't bring him back to any of the safe houses they were secret kept and she couldn't share their locations. She decided she should take him to the motel and then she could leave and come back with what she needed.

Lily stood up and disillusioned Severus' unconscious body then levitated him in front of her. She managed to get a room by Confunding the clerk, and once she had him situated in the room on top the queen sized mattress she cast every ward and deterrent spell on the room then disapparated back to the cottage. They had an emergency kit in the cupboard, so she bolted through the small house and grabbed it before running back outside and disapparating back to the motel room.

The kit had the blood replenishers some pepper up, and a few different healing potions. Paying no heed to the dangers of mixing the various effects of euphoria that the different healing potions caused when combined; Lily grabbed one of each and began pouring them down his throat with his head propped in her lap. She summoned a cloth from the bathroom and with an extra flick of her wand made it damp so that she could wash the dirt and gore from his face. Once his face was clean she worked her way down his neck to his collarbone unbuttoning his collar and pulling it open to gain access to the blood that had seeped there. She was surprised when his hand came up and caressed her cheek. She looked to his face and saw a soft but confused expression, his eyes studying her face as if to memorize her features.

"Are you real?" he whispered in a deep sleepy voice as he carded his fingers into her hair and pulled her down to meet his lips.

* * *

Severus started coming toward consciousness when he felt a warm comforting feeling washing through him and smoothing away his pain. Like sleeping outside in the wild, waking up to a blanket of dew covered landscape, and feeling the warmth of the sun as it cascaded across his body. The brightness of the early morning sun shining through his closed eyelids was the strength of that warmth, heat seeping through him and eroding away his aches, scars that he'd felt were forever etched into his being. When he felt the light tickling on his throat his body responded and heat bloomed in his lower abdomen, stoking the furnaces that he'd occluded for over a year.

He opened his eyes seeing kaleidoscopic colors and patterns swirl in to focus and he beheld the goddess of fire. Nay, she must be the sun herself with the golden halo that shimmered around her fiery tresses. Her eyes the brightest green; beacons of life, hope, and peace, like two large emerald oceans shimmering placidly amid the pale sands of her pearl like skin. The early morning dawn of first light, the rosy blush that tinged her beguiling cheeks, and the darkest leaves of Autumn painted the peaks of her voluminous lips.

He reached up and ran his fingers across that pearlescent canvas, over the dawn hued rise, spreading his fingers through the tresses of fire. He kissed her autumn covered lips and the volcanoes of the deep within him filled the empty vestiges of his veins. Spreading and radiating through every small crevice, crack, and flaw of his blackened granite soul. It heated him till he felt like a mere puddle, evaporating under her searing blaze of warmth. It was as though all his senses merged in to a mélange; forming a single cocktail of an experience where he heard the sweetness of her skin, tasted the color her eyes, felt the flowery aroma of her essence, and saw the warmth of her skin on his. Each sense overlapping and indistinguishable from the others.

He pulled her on to him reveling in the weight of her pressed against him, his mouth roaming her body, before returning to her face to kiss the tears of a sadness, joy, and fulfillment from her cheeks. His arms coiled about her figure reluctant to let got but determined to remove the fabric that kept him from feeling her smooth skin against his. He sat up from where he lay to peel his arms from his shirt and kick his trousers from his legs, before returning his hands to roam her bare sides. ~*~

* * *

His thumbs grazed the underside of her breasts while he lifted her up, suckling at her taut nipple as he slowly impaled her. Rocking her against him rhythmically, he paid equal attention to the other breast until she demanded his mouth against hers. Her hands framed his face, trembling with her passion. When they broke their kiss for the much neglected intake of air, her lips continued to kiss every contour of his face. Then he felt her hand tighten in his hair as she zealously sought completion on his turgid length, pressing herself on to him while greedily moaning his name.

"Severus!" She would hiss slowly. The word tugged at something in his mind that demanded recognition. She said it again and again but each time the tug on his consciousness became stronger, the throes of passion would erode away the image that his mind was waving in front of his eyes. His lost himself in the rupturing of his control, and his body shuddered from the force of his release. But then she begged for more and he pushed more, and still she had not reached her release.

"Please." She begged and the tug pulled harder. He rolled them over to give her the force she demanded, pinning her arms to her sides, and watching as she writhed beneath him her face distorted as she frantically sought satisfaction.

"PLEASE." She begged again with desperation in her voice at her closeness. He growled against the demanding pull in his mind and gave her more like she asked, grinding his teeth in his single-mindedness for the goal.

Her shrill cries of pleasure obtained slapped him out of his haze, and the demanding tug became a clear keen image. Bound hands against black silk, a tear-stained face with a terrified yet distant expression. Her begging and pleading, and cries in pain. Once he consciously saw Lily laying bonelessly beneath him, her chest heaving to catch her breath from their frantic coupling, he lurched away from her in horror of what he'd done. Sitting back away from her, dizzy and nauseous from the images that had plagued his mind for over a year, only then to be echoed in front of his eyes. ~*~

* * *

"What have I done?" He whispered. He held his head in his hands as he tried to understand what was going on and how he'd done the one thing he'd spent over a year and a half suppressing thoughts of. Lily sat up when she saw his distress, confusion and concern written on her face.

"Severus are you OK?" She asked touching his arm tentatively and trying to encourage him to come closer to her, wanting to wrap her arms around him.

"No, no, no." Severus whispered to himself. He bowed his head in to the mattress trying to steady the spinning of the room around him, while forcing the images and the revulsion of them deep within his occlusions, desperately grasping for control. Lily attempted to rub his back comfortingly but her touch ignited his skin anew, causing the love and attachment that he'd been killing, drowning under his oceanic occlusions, to bloom like a tenacious flower pushing through the early spring snows. He jerked away from her touch, and got off the bed, stumbling to the wall and pounding it with his fist in frustration and pain. He knew he couldn't keep her, and now he had to go through that torturous period of forced detachment from her all over again.

"I can't do this Lily!" he moaned from where he'd slid to the floor, his forehead pressed against the wall cooling his feverish face.

"What are you talking about Severus? We can't escape this, we're bonded now!" Lily said exasperatedly, "You don't think it hasn't been just as hard for me to let this go and try to move on." Severus turned and looked back her, giving her a hard look that clearly said he knew that she didn't have to suffer as he did.

"You were doing just fine moving on from where I stood. Unlike you I felt you every moment, I heard every call Lily. You've tortured me and taunted me for over a year!" Severus said viciously, his voice becoming dangerously quiet in his rage. Lily just sat in shock.

"What did you give me? Why couldn't I bloody think straight, so I could have prevented this, s- so I could have controlled it?" His voice broke with emotion and he struggled to contain his sobs that hung on the edges of his breath. Lily's face was pale as she held the sheets up to herself, to cover her body that he couldn't bear to look at without dread and regret while his mind was fully present.

"S-Some healing p-potions, b-blood replenisher, and p-pep up." Her voice trembled with emotion, as tears dropped silently from her eyes. Severus swore and stood up in an angry jerky motion and started gathering his clothes.

"I'm s-sor-"

"It doesn't matter anymore." He cut her off tersely. Lily got angry and started gathering her own clothes pulling the covers with her as he went after them.

"Severus, I don't understand why you are acting like this? Can't we make it work?" Lily asked.

"How do you think it will work Lily? You know what I am!" He said and he flung his left arm into her face and watch satisfied as she cringed from his mark.

"I was weak Lily! I've loved you my whole fucking life!" He shouted and his voice breaking in his pain at uttering the words out loud. He resumed in a whisper,

"I was weak when I initiated the bond with you. I didn't know how else to protect you and I wanted you. I'm sorry I've failed." He took a deep breath and said determinedly,

"Go back to your fiancé; bond to him and release me once and for all!" Severus gesticulated at her dismissively as he fastened the buttons on his trousers.

"You're - you're really one of them?" Lily asked looking at him completely stunned. Severus didn't hesitate, he could not let his cover be compromised for any reason.

"I am what you've always feared I was Lily, what you ultimately dismissed me for being. I am a dark wizard. I am a Death Eater. And from here on out I **am** your enemy." Severus said pointing his wand at her as he stalked around her shivering half-dressed form, slowly backing her into the wall beside the rumbled bed.

"I'm going to obliviate you Lily." He spoke in her ear when he was over her shoulder.

"You are going to forget this happened and go back to your fiancé guilt free and you will marry him. You will forget about me and about this disastrous bond. And you WON'T come find me through the bond again until it's finally broken. Do you understand?" He spoke to her commandingly expressed in his razor edged silken tone. She shook her head no,

"Why Severus? I know you love me; you can't hide that from me I can feel it! Why can't we try to make it work?" Lily pleaded with him and she grabbed on to his white collared shirt that was still unbuttoned over his trousers. She reached up to calm his rage and stroke his face. Severus jerked his face away from her and knocked her hands aside from him. He pounded his fist on to the wall next to her head in frustration, causing her to jump in fright.

"NO! I can't protect you! By being bonded I've put you in greater danger than you already are. If I can't have you I can at least live knowing you are safe. I will not turn from my path for you Lily." Severus hissed in her ear, not realizing how closely their bodies had gravitated. Severus stared down at her one last time before he pulled out a coin and whispered,

"Portus." The coin began to pulse slowly in count down. He pressed it into her hand then pointed his wand at her temple. Just before he cast the spell Lily leaned into him and kissed him hard. Severus grabbed the hair on the back of her head and kissed her back with just as much force. When they pulled apart silent tears streamed from his face, and then with an anguished expression as he stared her in the eyes he whispered,

"Obliviate." Moments later, before her eyes cleared of the fog from the spell, she disappeared from his presence.

* * *

Severus leaned heavily into the wall breathing in the air where she'd stood and then released the torrential storm of emotions he'd barely been reigning in. He slid down the wall his shoulders heaving as he cried silently, gripping the wall for stability.

After some time he remembered that Regulus would be trying to locate him and he tried to summon his patronus but failed his attempts repeatedly, until his magic failed him completely. Not knowing what else to do he called out quietly,

"Charmie." The diminutive elf appeared and her eyes went wider than her head was large when she saw the state her master was in.

"Master! What is it Chamie can do? Charmie will help. Please don't cry Master!" She said distressfully tugging her ears flat in her anxiety.

"I need Regulus, he's looking for me. I can't control my magic to send for him." Severus said trying to speak steadily and not sob pathetically. He had to get it together.

"Charmie will get Master's Regulus!" She disappeared and seconds later arrived with a stunned Regulus in full Death Eater garb. Regulus ripped his mask off and threw it aside. Kneeling down to where Severus sat on the floor, he grabbed Severus' face tilting his head back to shine light on it. Using his thumbs he examined his eyes and then took in the full state of his form assessing his health and perceived mental state. Severus couldn't hold his pain in any longer, he started crying again and brought his fist up to him mouth to try to stifle it and get it back under control.

"What do you need? What can I do Severus?" Regulus asked him steadily.

"Obliviate me." Severus told him. Regulus nodded understanding, he'd seen Lily disapparate with him, and then taken in to account the state of the room, the empty potion vials, and his overly dilated eyes. He knew what had happened and he cursed Lily for her senselessness.

"How long?" Regulus asked, needing to know how much time to erase.

"Since you were summoned. I don't know what time it is." Severus said and his was slowly pushing everything behind his occlusions. Regulus saw his receding emotions and chastised him.

"Not yet Severus, I can't get the memories if you are occluding." Severus nodded and lowered his shields completely. Regulus worked quickly obliviating him of the painful memories and then wiped his friend's tear streaked face with his sleeve as he asked him,

"You won't be able to take a dreamless sleep, because of the healing potions you've already taken, do you want me to stun you so that you can get some rest?" Severus nodded his face pale but no longer twisted in anguish.

"T-The Dark Lord? Is he angry with me?" Severus asked he voice thick and distant. Regulus helped him to his feet before he answered,

"No he sent me after you to make sure you were OK, he said that you'd be badly injured. Although I was supposed to deliver Lily if she was with you, but it seems you've sent her on her way already. I'll contact Remus and have him follow up with her if you didn't get to obliviate her before she left you." Severus nodded weakly; he was near passing out on his feet.

"Charmie, can you get us Master Aulus' home please? I don't want to drop him." Regulus asked the house elf that was on standby wringing her hands. Without a word in return she grabbed on to Regulus pant leg and apparated them into Severus rooms.

* * *

James sat slumped at the dirty bar staring at the stale crumbs and dried stains of spilled beverages on it's surface as he drank a really strong coffee. He'd come to the Hog's Head in a rage and intent on getting completely pissed. He'd never meant to get out of hand with Lily, he was just so fucking frustrated. Well it didn't matter now he was sure that she'd throw him over now.

How could he be so stupid attacking her after what she'd been through? James sighed to himself. He'd picked himself up off the floor of his room came here to get pissed, only Aberforth had other plans. He made him coffee and told him to figure his problems out. James was the only one there that day and when it got late and Aberforth went to shut the bar down he'd demanded a galleon for the room upstairs.

A complete rip off! James thought as he looked at the shabby room. He didn't mind too much since he didn't want to go home and face anyone at the moment. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. He'd have to find another way to prove his worth to become marked. It was with those thoughts that he fell asleep in his dingy hotel room. He woke the next day to the sound of voices in the hall. He went to his door and heard Aberforth talking to a guest gruffly.

"The Headmaster's expecting you, second door on the right. I'll send tea up momentarily." he said from the base of the stairwell. James heard the creaking of the wood as who ever was meeting with Dumbledore mounted the stairs and then knocked on the door.

"Ah yes, Sybil. Come in, come in." He heard the headmaster say, then the door close and the only sound left was their very muffled voices in the next room. James sat up quickly. He was supposed to be spying on the Order and especially Dumbledore, there might be something he could glean form this meeting. James crept from his room and went to the door next to him and slowly cracked it open so that he could hear inside.

"I'm very sorry Sybil, I understand your desire to teach Divination. But I'm afraid I will be sticking with my original decision and discontinuing the course. Thank you for coming out to apply for the position." Dumbledore said to her and James heard a chair scrape backwards from the table and heard the woman names Sybil sputter and stutter her indignation at being refused. Then a choking sound and a very eerie chorus voice sounded,

_"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not …"_

"Hey!" James jumped and shut the door whirling around to face the angry innkeeper.

"What are you doing? That's a private meeting and none of your concern. Explain yourself!" Aberforth stood behind him stopping up the stairs with a tea tray in his hands.

"Sorry Abe, I just heard the Headmaster and was going to peek in and ask for a bit of advice." He dropped his voice to a whisper, "Order business." Aberforth eyed him, but then jerked his head toward the stairs

"Ye can wait for him downstairs." He pushed by James in the narrow hall and let himself into the room closing the door behind him. James thought quickly and then made a snap decision and rushed into his room for a paper and quill. He wrote a quick note to the Headmaster to contact him at his earliest convenience and then placed it on the bar downstairs as he left for Aberforth to pass along.

James looked nervously around the street then disapparated to Malfoy Manor. After being terrified by the enchanted gate that seemed intent on taking a chunk out of him James ran hurriedly up the drive to the massive house. He was greeted by an ugly old house elf as he reached the front steps.

"How can Carmanger assist you this morning?" James a little breathless replied,

"I need to see the Dark Lord, it's urgent." Carmanger looked him up and down with a twisted sneer before he disapparated away. James stood on the porch wringing his hands and looking around nervously. He jumped in surprise when the elf reappeared at his elbow, grabbed him and disapparated with him instantly. James arrived in a dark room and tried to get his eyes to adjust as he looked around. There were heavy curtains drawn and he could make out the shapes of a large desk, a few cushioned chairs, and chaise lounge situated in front of an empty fireplace. Sitting brooding in one of the chairs was the Dark Lord, he was rubbing her forehead deep in thought while fingering his wand lazily over the side of the chair.

"Why do you disturb me?" He said in a dark voice that implied he would be severely punished if the answer wasn't good enough. James gulped and knelt before him on the floor.

"My Lord I overheard a prophecy about you, I - I was spying on Dumbledore this morning he seems to have been interviewing someone for the Divinations post at the school and as he made to leave she spoke a prophecy." James said, he was shaking all over from fear as he felt the Dark Lord's anger grow thick and oppressive in the magic of the air. He continued reciting the prophecy and trying his best not to stumble over his words as he spoke. The Dark Lord stood up and aimed his wand on him savagely ripping through his mind to see the prophecy himself. When he was finished he stared pacing angrily about the room.

"Your diligence will be rewarded. Return to your duties and bring me more information on the were abouts of Lily Evans. I want her brought before me one and for all to face her fate. She has defied me long enough, and I want to squeeze the life from her myself." James stared at him aghast and without thinking he stuttered.

"My Lord please reconsider I beg you, you've said I could have her I'm only days from our hand fasting I promise you I can have her submit to you within a months time. Please I beg you." James said desperately.

"I've lost my patience you've had two years to bring her to me and have failed." Voldemort yelled at him, James cringed away from him.

"Please sir I only need till the end of the year" James barely finished the sentence when a bolt of red light shot out of the Dark Lords wand and he collapsed and writhed in agony on the floor from the Crucio. He was in too much pain when the spell stopped abruptly to notice the Dark Lords frustration as his magic failed to respond to him.

"As I owe you reward for your diligence you may have your extension. You will suffer alongside the girl if you fail. Be gone." James nodded and picked himself up off the floor. He stumbled to the door and once outside the room the ancient elf Carmanger appeared and again grabbed him, disapparating with him in tow to the middle of Diagon Alley, then with a pop abandoned James there to stand in stunned silence. He straightened his clothes and tried to look nonchalant before he disapparated back to his home to figure out his next step.

* * *

_I'm waking up to ash and dust_  
_ I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust_  
_ I'm breathing in the chemicals [...]_  
_ I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones_  
_ Enough to make my systems blow_  
_ Welcome to the new age, to the new age_  
_Welcome to the new age._

-Imagine Dragons


	23. Bleeding out (8,470)

A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay between chapters. My Hermione muse was demanding attention which kept me from being able to focus on this chapter with any amount of single-mindedness. BUT the good news is that in the interim I have churned out the 100th and the 200th Review Rewards. They are a pair of one shots that were prompted by the winning reviewers EmilyWoods and Senshi at Heart. The 100th is actually a flash forward of the romance that will later develop between Severus and Hermione, and I know you all will want to read it! links for both below or click my profile link.

s/9409254/1/Plausible-Deniability

s/9403164/1/Sanguinity

Side note: Chapter 20 has been modified and a scene deleted from the story. I posted the scene as a one shot for anyone who would like to still read it. I don't recommend reading it till after Chapter 23 to get the full effect of suspense that I ruined by including it to begin with. (A beta would catch these things if I had one, any takers?)

Mood music: Bleeding out - Imagine dragons literally embodies the entire chapter. utterly perfect and a great inspiration while writing it.

Content Warning: Mature themes. Just to be safe.

Disclaimer: again not mine, never any money!

* * *

_**When the day has come  
That I've lost my way around  
And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground  
When the sky turns gray  
And everything is screaming  
I will reach inside  
Just to find my heart is beating**_

**_Oh, you tell me to hold on_**  
**_Oh, you tell me to hold on_**  
**_But innocence is gone_**  
**_And what was right is wrong_**

**_'Cause I'm bleeding out_**  
**_So if the last thing that I do_**  
**_Is to bring you down_**  
**_I'll bleed out for you_**  
**_So I bare my skin_**  
**_And I count my sins_**  
**_And I close my eyes_**  
**_And I take it in_**  
**_And I'm bleeding out_**  
**_I'm bleeding out for you_**

_Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons_

* * *

**Chapter 22: Bleeding Out**

Lily appeared in front of the Potter's house and she looked around confused for a moment until she remembered the fight she and James had and her flight from his home. That was why she was so upset right now. But what she didn't understand is why she didn't take the floo inside back to the cottage. She thought over the fight with James and though she remembered how terrified she was, for some reason the terror of the situation seemed to have faded and instead she felt an overwhelming sadness. She looked down at her disheveled clothes and grimaced before she apparated home to the cottage. She hoped everyone was still asleep the last thing she wanted to face was a walk of shame to her room,

_Especially when nothing had happened with the stupid prat._ _How could he?_ She asked herself. When she saw him in the morning she was going to hex his bollocks off, she felt so betrayed, vulnerable, and rather confusingly, rejected.

Her broken bond was aching particularly strongly and she guessed it was just a result of wanting to feel her bonded's safe comforting love again. Lily became overwhelmed briefly with sadness that she felt for the bond then forcefully shook herself out of it. She'd gotten over his death months ago. She told herself there no point in reopening old wounds. No, what she really needed to do was figure out how to deal with James.

_Stupid wanker_. She cursed him again. _She wouldn't stand for abuse, no sir, if he thought he could push her around and abuse her he could think again. Nope,_ Lily resolved, _We are done._

She made it to her room unnoticed by her housemates then collapsed in her bed completely exhausted and feeling unbelievably emotionally drained.

When James arrived at the cottage near the brunch hour he was surprised to learn that Lily was still sleeping. He couldn't believe his luck so he put on a charming smile to Mrs. McKinnon and crept back to Lily's room, and humored smiles following his retreat down the hall. He let himself into her room quietly so that he didn't wake her then locked and silenced the room. He snuck up on Lily who was facing away from him dozing peacefully in the late morning sun that was shining through her window. As he approached her, he quietly set an empty vial on her nightstand and saw that she hadn't even changed her clothes from the party dress she'd worn the night before.

_Perfect!_ He thought happy to see that it would play right into his plan.

Without wasting any time and risking her waking up James pointed his wand at the back of her head and whispered,

"Obliviate." Lily sighed in her sleep as he stashed his wand up his sleeve and then slid into the bed to curl up behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist. He looked at her from over her shoulder and his heart clenched at the sight of her angelic beauty, glowing in the morning sun. He brushed the hair off her neck with the back of his hand and placed a tender kiss behind her ear. Lily smiled and stirred from sleep, rolling over into him with a bit of a confused look.

"James? What - why are you here?" Lily rubbed the sleep from her eyes then ran her hand down the side of his face affectionately.

"Just came in to see how you are feeling, love. Ready to face the day?" James said nonchalantly. Lily frowned as she tried to remember the night before. And James jumped in to provide her an explanation.

"We both had a bit much to drink last night. Me more so than you. But you got me home and tucked me in and then I guess came back here." James wrinkled his nose and winced.

"It's probably best you did, don't think you'd have appreciated waking up covered in sick had you stayed." He gave her a sheepish expression. Lily laughed a little.

"I don't even have a hang over, I can't have had that much to drink. I never dink like you and Sirius do." Lily said in a disapproving tone and a raised brow at him. James gestured to the empty vial on the nightstand, and laughed.

"Yes well, even drunk you're more sensible than the both of us. I wish I'd thought to take a hang-over relief BEFORE I passed out and proceeded to vomit my guts all over myself in my stupor." Before she could ask more questions he captured her mouth in a long languid kiss. It wasn't long before James felt his pants straining around his hips felt the heat rising under his skin. He broke their kiss and stared into her eyes.

"I love you Lily." James said his voice thick with the passion and desire he had for her. Lily gave him an almost sad smile and kissed him again. Lily wanted to say the same to him in return, but she couldn't get the words to form, her bonded came to mind and her chest ached painfully until her breath hitched and she was forced to break their kiss again. James placed his forehead to hers and opened his eyes to look into hers. With a counterclockwise twist of his wand buried under the covers he concentrated hard on silently casting the spell. The next moment he'd fallen into her mind and wrapped his arms around her corporeal form as it stared down into the waters of her fountain.

Lily jumped and turned in his arms, almost expecting to see the bearded face and black eyes of her bonded. She gasped when she saw James standing before her.

"James, what are you doing in here?" Lily said trying to push his arms from around her. She could feel his anxiety and desire, and something else that felt like fear. She didn't want him to touch her until she felt sure her emotions were properly collected. James let go of her and stepped back.

"I just thought, since we were getting close to our hand-fasting we could start building our bond. I know it's old fashioned, but it's something my whole family has done for centuries." James shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Lily sighed and walked away from him looking around at what the interior of her mind looked like.

"I've never been able to really see what it looks like in here." She said, her eyes filled with wonder and interest at what she saw. She frowned a little at the fountain of herself dancing.

_Kind of vain, what does that say about me? _ She thought with a wince. Then she looked back at James who watched her with apprehension. Lily sighed and looked down shamefully, realizing there was no way for her to bond with James unless she told him the truth, he would find out one way or another and it was time she was honest with him.

"There is something I have to tell you." Lily said and motioned for him to sit on the side of the fountain where she joined him, sitting with her hands folded in her lap, fidgeting with her fingers as she thought of how to begin.

"I've been bonded already. But he's dead now." Lily told him. James jumped up and whirled on her in anger,

"What?! Who? When did this happen and why are you waiting till now days before our hand-fasting to tell me?" James fired off questions one right after another not waiting for her to answer any. Jealousy, hurt, and rage written in his features.

"When I was captured, to my rapist. I don't know who he was. But he is dead now, he died from helping me escape." Lily said slowly and sadly. She wiped her eyes as she felt the pain of her bond pang sharply when she thought of him. James was furious; he sputtered and then turned on his heel to stalk back and forth to gather his thoughts. When he didn't say anything else Lily spoke again trying to explain.

"The bond is broken now James, but it hurts me still. You are going to feel that from me if you and I bond. I just wanted to tell you myself, before you figured it out on your own." James turned back at her and stood glaring angrily at her.

"I- I just don't understand. I'm sorry Lily. I'm not angry at you, only at the situation that we've been put in. how evil could he be to rape not just you but your mind as well, is nothing sacred to them?" James rubbed his face in frustration before dropping his hand dejectedly.

"So what does this mean? Do you not want to bond with me now Lily?" James asked in a hurt tone. Lily stood up and reassured him.

"No I want to James, I do. I love you. I just thought that you should know, it wouldn't be right for me to keep it from you anymore." Lily said and she reached her hand out to him and brushed his arm. She immediately felt the swirling mass of confused emotions coming from him. She tried to focus her own emotions on the seed of affection that she had for him and push those feeling toward him. James looked up at her a little less angry and confused and she started to feel waves of hope from him. They held hands and their imprinting became stronger, she felt the pain of her old bond fade some as it pushed out the festering shard of the broken bond. Lily led James through the landscaped garden of her mind to a large four poster bed that had wispy white curtains blowing in a nonexistent breeze on an open meadow. A mere thought was all it took for them to be standing bare before each other. James hungrily placed his hand on her bare skin and looked into her eyes showing her the want and need in his eyes.

Outside her mind their bodies tangled mirroring the bonding taking place. The difference Lily felt when James's Bond slid into place, usurping the place of the previous, was so much better that she knew that replacing the broken and festered bond with this healthy one was the right thing to do, even though she still felt the sadness and ache of letting the old one go.

Lily was so wrapped up in the pleasure and passionate embraces that she didn't see the Raven tattoo slide out of her corporeal form and flutter away weakly; the remaining shard of her bonded's soul would forever be trapped and abandoned within her mind. She didn't see when tawny doe appeared; the shard she'd gifted to Severus. It returned to her from been yanked from Severus' end of the soul bond when she broke and replaced the bond, but it would forever be a forgotten fragment of the person that she no longer was. The Doe followed the Raven's aimless flight, attached as they were by the chains of the broken bond that no longer bound them to their parent souls. Forever be tormented as an onlookers to Lily's new, whole, and healthy union; to wander as forgotten memories inside her mind.

* * *

Regulus was extremely worried about Severus. Once he got him back to his rooms he'd stunned him so that he could sleep. It was probably another few hours before he'd be able to take a dreamless sleep, and as he watched him thrash in his sleep tormented by dreams, Regulus hoped it would come quickly.

He was sure his friend wouldn't have wanted him to stay, but Regulus was not going to leave him alone when he'd been so magically drained. He hoped that after some sleep Severus could explain what happened with the Dark Lord. Regulus had a good guess at what happened after that and shook his head sadly at the torture his friend had been put through.

Regulus was sure that Lily had responded honestly to her situation, not maliciously or intent to cause him so much harm. Severus had been wounded so she gave him the healing that he needed, Regulus certainly can't blame her for that. But he was aggravated that her lack of care had caused the Severus to be under potion induced euphoria when he regained his consciousness.

The dangerous of the euphoria itself were negligible, an altered excessively euphoric perception of reality was nothing to fret over when it passed by quickly enough, the problem was in that the body literally depleted itself of all pleasant or good emotions and thoughts, and then the person suffered from a complete lack of those until the combined potions effects wore off. Even if Severus didn't truly regret a tumble in the sheets with Lily, he would still suffer the opposite effect as the one he experienced while high. And that was nothing to bat an eye at when you had the kind of misery in your mind as he was sure Severus had. Regulus shuddered as he thought of the horrors he would likely be reliving if their roles were reversed.

Regulus had studied the memory chest while he waited, trying out a few spells that he and his Master had developed that had been promising. So far he'd received a handful of nasty shocks from his unsuccessful attempts. Getting angry when he got blasted by the hex again he decided to leave it be and give Severus that dreamless sleep potion. He called out for Charmie, not knowing where Severus kept his potions and not wanting to disturb Master Aulus when it was still so early in the morning. The elf appeared looking fit to burst with conflicting emotions she was under, she bounced on the balls of her feet in excitement for something, while once seeing the state of her master; she wrung her hands in distress.

"Yes Master's Regulus, Can Charmie be helping with the master now?" She asked as she bounced about clearly anxious to get to work.

"Yes please can you bring me a dreamless sleep potion for Severus, if you don't know where to find any here try the lab in Spinners End." Charmie nodded and immediately disappeared. Regulus turned back to the desk to stare at the unyielding chest, and he was lost in thought when Charmie appeared again holding on to Eileen's hand. Surprised he said,

"Eileen, I'm sorry I didn't intend to have the elf wake you only to bring me a potion." He glared at the elf a little who cowered behind Eileen's robes.

"She didn't, I was awake. I was hoping I would get word from Severus by now. I need to speak with him. Is he OK" She said and she turned to where he lay on the bed his face twisted in a grimace.

"I stunned him so that he'd be asleep. He's had a bad mix of healing potions and is suffering from the unpleasant side effects." Regulus explained.

"Severus would never take that risk and overdose on healing potions." Eileen said confusedly.

"Yes I know he was rather upset by it, it was thanks to the good intentions of his rescuer who I believe was in a panic at the time. When I saw him, he was in bad shape." He told her running his hands through his hair. Eileen looked at him

"What happened with the Dark Lord last night? Do you know?" Regulus shook his head.

"The rest us were summoned when the ritual was over. When I arrived Severus was covered in blood, face down in the grass and being whisked away by Lily Evans. Then the rest of us when on a muggle graveyard rampage raising the dead into Inferis which the Dark Lord then banished someplace. It was very strange, something like that, the reanimation he would had participated in but he didn't. And he seemed angry, or maybe worried." Regulus told her remembering the Revel from the night before. It seemed kind of a pointless Revel, they collected a host of Inferis from graveyards but with as many as they gathered he'd expected the Dark Lord to initiate some bloodshed. He was certainly happy that the Dark Lord didn't but it seemed out of character for him, as if he was too tired and had to end the Revel early.

"Severus isn't in any danger is he?" Eileen asked fearing the worst that his cover had been blown and wondering why on earth the Evans girl had showed up of all people.  
"No I don't believe he is. The Dark Lord asked me to go after him and tend his injuries and capture Evans. Charmie here finally brought me to him but Evans was nowhere to be found. He'd probably Obliviated her and sent her on her way. I've sent Remus to check on her and make sure as soon as he can." Eileen nodded but seemed lost in thought.

"You were OK, last night? Nothing about the ritual should have affected the wards on Spinners End, did anything happen with them?" He asked her.

"No, no it was fine and I'm quite well. Great in fact. Look." She told him and she snapped her fingers wandlessly opening the curtains in the room to let the sun stream in. Regulus stood there stunned for a minute before he said,

"Well that's wonderful, how did you finally manage to get your magic back?" Eileen shook her head in confusion.

"I didn't do anything. I was with Cearl having drinks when I thought I saw a shapeless Patronus or something and expected it to be some news from one of you. But it just shot in to my chest and I felt this tingling all over, like when your foot falls asleep. It was not pleasant." Eileen shook her head then continued. "But when it subsided Cearl cast a diagnostic on me and said that my magic was finally registering. It was a tiny amount almost nonexistent. But then we kept checking it and it got stronger and stronger. I've taken a few regenerative potions and they've actually helped it for once." When she finished her story they both looked back to Severus in confusion. Something had happened during that ritual, and it might possibly be connected to Eileen's magic. Eileen had an idea of what might have happened because of the conversation her and her son has had on soul bonds, but she had no idea how he had managed it. And that worried her. Regulus moved towards Severus and cast an Ennervate, to wake him up from the stunner.

Once he was awake Severus on the edge of the bed while they pulled up chairs, he about to tell them what had happened when instead he turned to his mother and asked.

"What I'm going to talk about relates to the circumstances leading up to your leaving the wizarding world. Are you comfortable with Regulus knowing those details?" Severus asked her, his voice was especially deep and scratchy belying how weary he was. Eileen winced and looked down at her hands.

"Yes well, I suppose its relevant information to have if you are ever going to defeat him. You have to know your enemy." she said and then nodded him once with her consent. Severus told them of the ritual, hesitating only briefly when he revealed to Regulus that Tom Riddle was his father as he related exactly what Tom had said of it." Regulus sat back in his chair in shock.

"That is terrible. For both of you, I'm truly sorry. But what does that mean for you, Severus?" Regulus asked warily.

"I've known this since the beginning of our seventh year, so nothing has changed for me. But I can say that it may complicate his expectations of me that he now knows. He may require much more of me as a result; he may even want me dead. I don't know his mind yet, but it certainly muddies the waters." Severus answered. Regulus tried not to look too relieved that Severus was still on his side, but Severus still saw it and smirked at him and Regulus smile sheepishly back. They returned to the conversation discussing the theories of what exactly Riddle had done to cause Eileen's loss of magic. Severus stood and grabbed the notes they had from the old man about the soul bonds and explained his theory.

"Well we know that the Dark Lord experimented extensively with binding rituals and souls bonds from what the Old man told us about the Dark Mark. He says that the mark's ability to locate and summon each individual is predicated on a soul bond." Severus explained and pointed to the section of the notes that detailed it.

"What if what happened to mother is just one of his failed attempts at creating that kind of link. He obviously wouldn't want to an actual soul bond with anyone because then he would have to endure the intimate emotional exchange, he'd hear their call and not be able to silence it, and then he'd have the magical drain from incompatibility."

"Yeah let's face it there's not going to a host of people that are as evil as he is enough to be compatible. Could you even imagine such a women?" Regulus snorted in laughter then shuddered in revulsion at the thought. Severus deadpanned,

"It doesn't have to be a woman." Regulus pulled a disgusted face and grabbed his head in his hands in mock anguish,

"It's bad enough I've got images of Remus's homosexual conquests forever burned into my retina thanks to you!" Regulus said then he stuck his head between his knees when his face started turning green.

"Oh good lords I'll never be able to look at Riddle again without wondering his preference. I'm going to get avada'd for thinking he's a pouf!" Regulus groaned. Severus laughed and defended against Regulus' accusations.

"I believe I told you to use the front door of the flat and not the balcony to deliver the wolfsbane for me. If you'd have listened, you would have at least had a solid door and wall between you and not just glass, and Remus would have had enough time to cover up and save your tender sensibilities." Regulus only groaned and turned away clearly squicked.

"If I remember right we'd been talking about failed soul bonds and the dark mark, not sexual preferences boys." Eileen interrupted chidingly, giving them both a disturbed glare.

"Yes, sorry Mother." Severus said smirking at Regulus' green coloring. "What I'm getting at is this, what if he managed to make a one way soul bond by somehow forcibly taking a shard of mother's soul and attached it to his. In theory only she would suffer from any incompatibility or negative side effects, while at the same time he inadvertently created a funnel between them that stole her magical energy until it was depleted, and kept it depleted."

"But how, isn't the whole point in soul bonds to give a piece and then to replace it with the one you are given in return thereby keeping your soul intact?" Regulus asked.

"I don't know how he would do it, all I know is that a spirit like form on my mother was detached from him in the blood ritual when payment was demanded. Then mother hasn't been able to find or detect his presence or even experience any of the effects of having his soul shard. So then I say again, what if what he'd inadvertently discovered was a way to bolster is own power by creating a one way bond and he's been siphoning power from her all this time?" Severus conjectured looking between them both. Eileen was the one to speak up with after a few moments of thought filled silence.

"It still doesn't explain how he could do such a thing for one, sever a piece of my soul from me and two attach it to himself. I don't see how he would do the latter at all unless he already had the gap in his soul for the shard to fill." She pointed out. They obviously needed to understand the nature of souls better to be able to answer these questions. Severus looked toward his desk where the journal sat with a thoughtful but frustrated expression. Regulus saw what caught his eye and understood, that right then, more than ever before Severus needed to talk to the Professor.

"Any luck with that password yet?" Regulus asked interrupting Severus' thoughts. Severus pursed his lips and shook his head clearly very irritated with his failure to figure it out. Eileen not sure what they were talking about looked between the two of them.

"Password for what?" She asked curiously.

"The journal, the old man has locked me out of it." Severus answered reluctantly. Eileen got an amused expression,

"You will be sorry for calling him an old man all this time when in twenty or so years you are exactly where he is." She needled him Severus quirked a half smile at her but kept to his thoughts on the journal. Eileen sat back in her chair thoughtfully considering her son for a moment before she questioned him again.

"Why did he lock you out?" She asked, watching him carefully. Severus saw his mother's critical eye on him and assessed for a moment whether he wanted to go through it all with her. He decided he didn't. The last thing he wanted to do was rehash it all. He wanted to forget the bond ever happened and just deal with the fall out of Lily replacing the bond once and for all. And he felt sure it wasn't much longer now, the bond felt more strained than ever. After looking his mother up and down while he assessed his thoughts he finally settled on an answer for her.

"I've made him angry. So he is punishing me for it. Jorle believes that the password is related to proof of my penance or remorse for my actions, but I've been unsuccessful in figuring it out." Eileen understood that he wasn't willing to answer more questions on the topic by his tone and let it alone. But it did give her an idea for his problem so she voiced it.

"It mayhap that you need actually be remorseful, that the password isn't a word at all but a genuine repentance of your actions."

"I've more than regretted and cursed my actions." Severus snapped at her angrily, before looking away breathing deeply to calm him anger. Regulus stepped in to try to settle his anger and take up her point,

"She might be right though Severus, it might just be your "state" that is keeping you locked out instead of a password. It could very well be one as much as the other, or even both." Regulus explained trying to be vague seeing that he was not interested in sharing the details of his bond with his mother. Severus stood up from the bed and walked to the desk running his hands through his hair while staring down at the journal.

"If that is the case then I have no choice but to wait." Severus said quietly, he really hoped that Lily married Potter soon. He had no doubts that James would initiate a soul bond with her, he was from one of the very old pureblood families where it was still commonplace and tradition to bond after a hand-fasting. Severus turned back to his company needing to get them to leave so that he could collect his thoughts and have a chance at solitude before his duties as an apprentice began for the day.

"Thank you both for your care and concern. I'm sorry for snapping at you Mother, I'm very glad you are on your way to recovery. But you'll both please excuse me; I do need to get ready for the day now." Severus explained, hoping it didn't come off too rude and abrupt. His mother stood up and kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand before turning back to Regulus, who offered her his arm.

"Charmie, can you take us back to Spinners End please?" Eileen asked the elf who popped her head out of the bathroom where she'd no doubt been keeping herself busy with cleaning.

"I is being happy to Mistress! Is the Master very glad as Charmie is that Mistress is having her magic returned?" The little elf asked Severus as she bounded over to them from across the room.

"Indeed. Thank you Charmie." Severus replied then he gave his mother and Regulus a small nod goodbye just before they winked out with the elf back to England.

* * *

Severus took a long hot shower to help clear his mind and spent the duration focusing his occlusions and meticulously separating himself from the jumbled mass of emotions that whirled like a hurricane inside his mind. By the time he was leaving his rooms to attend his apprenticeship duties his ocean was glassy and still and his face betrayed nothing of his suppressed turmoil.

Severus joined Jorle in the breakfast room and took up his seat at the table, not wanting to impose in his master's life he rarely spoke during meals when Mrs. Aulus was usually present. However this morning Jorle addressed him directly,

"Good Morning Severus, I was wondering if I would see you about this early. The wards I have noticed have been quite active all night. Is everything alright my boy? And where is Regulus, he hasn't left so early has he?" Severus glanced at his master's wife briefly and then back to Jorle, as he answered carefully.

"Yes quite, I had an epiphany on how to help my mother. You're aware of her magic loss?" Severus asked knowing the answer already but being polite in front of Mrs. Aulus by offering what would seem a full explanation for her as well. Jorle nodded at him with a grim expression of sympathy for his mother.

"Yes, well I had a notion on how to fix it. I left rather late intent on testing the theory, ended up quite magically drained and unable to return so Regulus brought me back. Then I suppose my mother was worried sometime early this morning and wanted to come see to me." Severus paused and took a drink before continuing when Jorle still looked confused as to where his company was.

"I didn't want to intrude on you sir, so they've both left for her home in Cokeworth when it was time for me to begin the day. I had no idea that I would have disturbed you at such late hours. My apologies Master." Severus said and gave him a small bow of his head.

"Oh nonsense, it is nothing at all. Next time, have them at least stay for a meal, I insist. And don't you fuss your head about my paranoia." Jorle shook his egg filled fork at him, "Old habits die hard, I can't bring myself to turn of the elf entrance alarm ward. As soon as I learned elves could bypass wards in my youth, I immediately feared for all my work being stolen by my rivals. That is if they were ever smart enough to ask their elves to do it for them. You're the first person I've ever known to employ your house elf to get around wards." Jorle continued to prattle on good-naturedly for the rest of breakfast trying to include Severus in conversation. Severus Responded habitually not really listening to the course of the conversation but rather lost in his own thoughts of how to solve the riddle of his journal. He wanted to run his mother theory by Jorle and see what he thought but would have to wait till they were in the privacy of his labs.

Jorle was then called away for some business matters that he needed to attended and directed Severus to begin preparing the various ingredients that they would be working with that day.

Severus enjoyed the rote repetitive motions of chopping, crushing and grinding. He could turn his mind off entirely and not have a single thought as he was caught up in the process of working with the potions materials. He completely understood why his mother's sanctuary had been her beloved potions workroom.

Jorle joined him in the lab by mid-morning and set up a row of various cauldrons that they would use to test the variations of methods on for the days experiments. Just as Severus was shredding the Campanula petals with a wickedly sharp paring knife, his whole body flinched violently when he felt as if a javelin pierced him completely through, causing the knife wielding hand to mutilate his other hand that was guiding his slicing motions. Severus knew immediately what had happened and slammed his occlusion into place forcing control on himself not allowing himself to show the weakness that he was experiencing. He felt his color pale and as he work to exert control and solidified his occlusions. Jorle heard the clatter of the knife as Severus dropped it, and came over when he saw the blood gushing from the razor fine slices Severus had carved into the meat of his left thumb.

"What in Merlin's name are you trying to do, dear boy! Now don't just stand there, you've got to stave the flow before you bleed out and let's hope you've not contaminated it with anything poisonous." Jorle came over and started shooing him into action. Jorle saw his very distant expression and immediately understood that he was very far away and just grabbed his hand and started taking care of the wound himself. Severus came back to himself when he felt the sting of the cleansing spell that Jorle cast in his jagged hand.

"Thank you, I don't know what happened. I just lost my focus I suppose." Severus explained distantly.

"Yes I can see that, you have the most precise hand at managing materials as I've ever seen. What could possible distract you so completely." Jorle asked as he cast a healing spell on each of the individual gashes on his palm.

"She broke the bond." Severus said in a flat and empty voice the clearly delineated the power of the occlusions he was maintaining.

"Ah, yes. And not too unexpectedly I presume. You are handling it very well. And your magic?" Jorle asked carefully. Severus had little more than a month left of his internship. The start of the new decade would hail in his new life as a potions master; Jorle had every intention of making him see it through to the finish. He was extremely fond of Severus and was very impressed and proud of the distinction he would bring to their field. He would make sure that Severus didn't let his waning or lack of magical powers keep him from completing his mastery, a profession he was uniquely talented in.

"It's waning as expected but it will pass." Severus said dismissively. Jorle knew better, as broken soul bonds where historically the main cause for complete and permanent magical burn out, only it was little known anymore since the practice of soul bonding was no longer in force.

"I know enough to know that it will not simply go away. What methods have you come up with to seal the wound so that your magic will stop bleeding out of you like water from a sieve?" Jorle chided and asked him

"None, I believed it would mend with time. Does it not?" Severus asked honestly surprised.

"No it's doesn't or if it does no one has even mentioned such a case. It is more common for those who suffer from it to end up squibs or commit suicide. I know you are not stupid enough to consider the latter but I do fear the former as your fate. You have a great talent, Son. Do not waste it with inaction!" Jorle told him forcefully.

"What can I do then? What would you recommend? I could use the insight for sure." Severus asked hopelessly as he struggled to maintain his occlusions. He took a deep breath and sat up rigidly forcing control again.

"What about your journal? Surely you've made it to that future with your magic intact. Have you not found a way into it, discovered the password? Maybe there is something written within it that can help." Jorle prodded him.

"No I haven't been able to find the correct password. And I'm not sure that my future self had this problem. It's the reason I was locked out to begin with. He was angry with me, for bonding to Lily, for tainting my soul." Severus said forgetting that he'd not shared the lifelike nature of the journal with his master.

"What do you mean 'He is angry with you'? How can a journal express anger, it's simply words on a page." Jorle questioned confusedly as he tried to work the problem in his head. He saw Severus pale when he realized his slip, and narrowed his eyes at him.

"Explain this journal to me Severus, it seems you've omitted some very key facts that I need to know if you expect me to help you." Jorle demanded, He wasn't really angry but he would be if Severus refused him.

"I don't know for sure but after what happened and I was locked out of the journal, I surmised that the journal rather than being enchanted or charmed with memories to be interactive so that I can converse with it as I originally assumed, that it was instead housing a soul or part of a soul. It was conscious and aware and could communicate with me and pull me into it and show me his memories." Severus explained. Jorle release Severus now mended hand and stood up and paced near Severus in shock and dismay.

"Severus this is very serious. That kind of magic is the darkest most evil of magic's; to split ones soul for immortality? Are you really sure you can trust this journal as a source for good advice? Do you even know what must be done to perform such magic?" Jorle asked him intently, trying to convey the extreme seriousness of the situation. Severus frowned at him in confusion.

"No Master I don't, but I assumed that the act was similar to the process or type of magic used to create a soul bond. I didn't consider that it would have to be dark magic. In fact, I have another situation wherein a shard of a soul was severed from its original. How do you sever a piece of your soul Master?" Severus asked him. Jorle looked ready to cross himself to ward off black magic as he stared at Severus completely aghast.

"You must swear to me that you will never use the information I give you for the purpose of dark magic, before I will tell you anything. I want an unbreakable vow Severus." Jorle demanded emphasizing to Severus how extremely serious he was. Severus nodded and Jorle summoned his house elf, handing it his wand and instructing it to perform their binding. One Severus was oath bound Jorle proceeded to explain to him the process of cutting one's soul.

"It is the most evil act known to wizard kind, wherein a dark wizard will sever their soul using the 'Spiritus Diffindo' and then murder another using their life-force to cauterize the wound left in their own soul. They can then take this severed shard of their soul and embed it in to anything outside themselves to prolong their existence. Should their main body and soul be destroyed that severed shard will remain, making them immortal." Jorle explained to him ominously. Severus tried to swallow past the lump of dread that formed in his throat.

"So you mean then that my future self, if the journal is indeed a soul, murdered someone and severed his soul to send me information to change the future? That makes his reasons for such drastic measures seem even more dire than I had originally thought. But this doesn't convince me that his intentions are evil." Severus explained trying to assuage the fear that was showing on his master's face.

"You see, I can feel his emotions when he shows me memories. It's as if I am actually experiencing his memories, really. And he while he was a true dark wizard at one time and committed horrible acts, he despises himself his actions and all things that are truly evil, he later devoted his life to the downfall of that evil. If what you are saying is true, he sacrificed his very soul for the chance to try again to triumph over evil." Severus sat back as he considered everything before he continued.

"No, I do not think I need to fear his advice. Only I realize now more than ever, that I need to break through his barrier."

"I trust your judgment Severus, but please be very careful with that journal, until you can know for a certainty what it's motivations are." Jorle advised sagely. They sat in silence both processing this new exchange of information before Severus spoke up.

"There is a theory that the password ward may have kept me locked out due to the state of my remorse, or even by the presence of the bond in which he'd been angry at me for creating. Do you think it is possible that even with the password I would have been unable to enter, or that the password was the removal of my bond?" Severus asked excitedly

Jorle thought for a moment before he answered.

"The idea certainly has merit but you'd need only test it to find out, what with your bond broken now." Jorle admitted.

"Thank you for your guidance and faith in me." Severus said sincerely.

"Yes, yes. Be off with you. Go figure this out so we can continue our work once you are at your full magical abilities again. I'll clear up this lot here." Jorle dismissed him.

* * *

Severus rushed up to his rooms but very shortly had to slow down when his knees felt like jelly beneath him. He'd already been completely drained from the ritual the night before, and now to have whatever magical store he'd recovering in the interim leaking away through the wound left by the soul bond he have nearly none of his magical stamina, and his physical stamina was already being taxed from a night of little to no sleep. When he made it to his rooms on the third floor through sheer force of his willpower he grit his teeth angrily when he couldn't get into his quarters. He couldn't even summon the smidgen of magic he needed to unlock his wards. Severus sighed in frustration as he was force to call out for his elf to help him through such a small distance from one side of his door to the other.

Back in his rooms he thanked Charmie who paused before she left to watch Severus stare contemplatively at the journal.

"Excuse me master, is master needing anything else? Can Charmie help master with the journal?" Severus was surprised out of his thoughts when the elf spoke up who then cringed slightly in repentance for interrupting his thoughts. Severus frowned as he considered Charmie's question.

_Could she help me? House elves could get around all the other wards, what makes these wards any different._

"Yes Charmie, can you tell me why elves seem to be able to ignore wards?" Severus asked her. Charmie gave him a look like he's just asked her if the sun would rise the next day.

"Because we is elves sir, and our masters require it of us." She answered. Severus tapped his lip with his finger while he thought some more.

"So if I asked you to open my journal could you open it, without triggering the defenses on it?" He asked her

"Yes usually elves can, Master." Severus threw his hands in the air in exasperation at her answer.

"Then why didn't you tell me you could do that when you knew we were trying to break into the wards on the journal?" He asked her incredulously. Charmie drew her nose into the air haughtily.

"Because master is trying to break in, master is not asking to be let in by Charmie." Severus rubbed a tired hand down his face at the frustration of all the time he wasted trying to find a way to break in to the wards. Wondering if he could have had access to them this entire time, and still he was very curious to know what the password was and what it could tell him about these types of wards in general, so he questioned her further before asking her to break the wards.

"Charmie I've just got one more question. What can you tell me about the password ward that has been keeping me locked out?" Severus asked and he received another curious look from his elf.

"The only thing there is to tell Master is the password." She replied blinking at him owlishly. Severus felt his heart leap in his chest and his palms go sweaty with eager anticipation.

"What is the password Charmie?" Severus asked excitedly, he couldn't believe he was going to get into the journal after all this time.

"Hermione." She answered him. Severus leaned forward when she said it as he realized it significance.

"You are certain?" He asked her, not sure if he believed that he finally had the name of Her, his breath quickening as he considered why he would put her name as the password, a name he would never be able to know till he met her.

"Yes Master, the password is written quite plain in the runes." She replied.

"Thank you Charmie. You can go." He said dismissing his elf who grinned happily at the sincere gratitude he expressed. Severus turned back toward the journal and approached it with his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He pulled his wand out and held it ready in case the journal tried to go up in flames, forgetting its current uselessness in his hands.

"Hermione." He said quietly and watched as a faint blue shimmer appeared and then was gone. With slow deliberate movements he sat in the chair in front of his desk and then gingerly reached for the journal nearly flinching in expectation of the shock that didn't come.

He touched the cover and for the first time he recognized the source of his anguish and pain that he'd felt since he first bonded to Lily. He felt it, just like the same aching taint to his soul that weighed him down, reverberating through the cover of the journal, just the same heavy pain in his chest. He caressed the book and felt a tingle of playful magic go up his arm, as if taunting him to open the book. He savored the feeling of it just a little bit longer before he opened the journal and put his pen to the page.

"Hermione?" He asked hoping the only man would consider it a truce and speak to him. What he didn't expect was the looping and curling writing of a much more feminine hand.

"Hello Severus, I've been waiting to hear from you."


	24. Back to the Start (4,944)

A/N: Good evening! Sorry I know I've got you all expecting updates in the am (PST) I had some real life stuff get in the way of me being able to get this chapter edited and posted this morning.

Mood music:** The Scientist - Coldplay**; I've had the scene for this chapter in my mind every time I listened to this song for months, so I'm very glad to finally be at the point to tell it in the story.

**Content Warning: Sad Feels**

Disclaimer: not mine no money **YES IT IS STILL SSHG**

* * *

**Chapter 23 - Back to the Start**

_"Hello Severus, I've been waiting to hear from you."_

Severus was completely and utterly stunned.

_There wasn't just one soul but two, residing in this journal? How can that be?_ He thought to himself. After a few moments of staring blankly at a page the journal prompted him to write.

"Severus?" it questioned. He quickly picked up his pen and replied,

"How is this possible? I have guessed that the old man is a soul or a fragment of a soul that was bound to the journal. But how are you also in the journal?"

"Old man?! He's only thirty-eight Severus! Honestly what is with the two of you and exaggerating your age? You both act as if it is some monumentally insurmountable number!" Hermione ranted on the page.

"Says the nineteen year old. When you get to my age you'll understand the significance of cresting the hill to nigh four decades. But right now my age is as irrelevant as yours is girl. You're supposed to be giving him a lashing!" The old man's spiky handwriting wrote after her. Severus was a bit taken aback that they could converse with each other.

"How is this possible?" Severus asked.

"First things first. Your bond with Lily is severed, yes?" He asked Severus.

"Yes." Severus answered.

"Good I will now make it vividly clear what you very nearly sacrificed through your foolish actions. You will know what efforts were taken on your behalf that you so easily cast away." The old mans angry writing scrawled the paper growing hot under his hand in his anger.

"I'm sure he regrets it, there is no reason to torture him with grief as well Severus. We agreed not place that weight on him." Hermione's loopy round cursive wrote back to him scoldingly. Severus was beginning to get a little irritated with being talked about and not being included so he wrote.

"I want to know. I don't want you to hold anything back from me anymore."

"Very well." Came the spiky reply. Severus felt a sadness and regret emanating from the journal before it receded. A few moments later a silvery ink stain appeared on the page and slowly grew Severus reached forward and touched it, then fell into the memory the old man was showing him.

_He arrived in the memory as his older self appeared to be slowly and wearily making his way up the narrow stairs of his home at Spinners End. At the top landing he braced himself on the wall briefly as he struggled to maintain standing._

_Severus felt the pain his was in, his body still burning from the after effects of a cruciatus curse. He entered the master bedroom with reluctance. Severus saw a pale lifeless female body lain out on the bed deathly still. Severus felt his heart leap as he searched for signs of her breathing when he saw her, but knew the answer he sought just by the sorrow that was welling up inside his elder self. He walked to the bed and carefully sat beside her and reached out to rub the her arm, feeling the cold lifeless skin and feeling the pain of her loss like a javelin to his soul. He picked up her hand and Severus studied her features as his elder was lost in his grief, spilling tears over her frail hand that he held close to his lips._

_She appeared to him to be about twenty years old, with a mass of unruly light brown hair. Her coloring, if not for the pallor of death, would have been a vibrant cream that was lightly tanned showing signs of her hours spent in the sun. She didn't seem to have any physical injuries that he could see that would be her cause of death, Severus observed. Snape caressed her face before he turned to the small chest that was set on the nightstand next to the bed. The same memory chest that Severus received. He watched him pick up the journal within and place it open on his lap from where he sat on the bed. Hermione's lifeless hand lay resting on his thigh where he'd set it down as he arranged everything. Then Snape took a deep breath and the next moment Severus felt the familiar pull of drawing himself behind his occlumency shields._

_He saw that Snape's inner mind mirrored Spinners End and he stood inside the master bedroom there as well. And just like there, Hermione's corporeal form lay motionless on the bed. Snape reached out for her and Severus could feel the weak echoes of her suffering. He knew something was very wrong._

_ Why would her soul be inside his mind? He wondered sadly what happened to her to separate her body and soul so, just before the older man began to speak to her, confessing his failings sorrowfully._

_"We've lost everything, Hermione. The witless wonders died when they attempted a rescue of you. There is nothing left for me to live for, nothing to fight for to make a better future for us. I'm sorry, you were so beautiful, so young. I'm sorry I couldn't save you." Snape whispered quietly said as he brushed the hair from her face, having forced more composure from himself he continued to speak to her._

_"I'm not ready to accept this fate. I need you with me, and I think I've found a way to keep you. I found your memories of the time-turner and I have prepared a journal for us. I plan to bind our soul shards to its pages, and send it back to the start of it all. So that we can try again." He watched Snape try to gently wake her corporeal form. Her honey brown eyes opened slowly and she smiled up at him tiredly._

_"You're body couldn't sustain any longer, Love. It's time for me to cast the severing and bind the shards to the journal. You don't have to go through that. I could send you whole, and you wouldn't have to suffer till it ends. Please let me send you whole." Snape pleaded with her. Hermione shook her had and reached for his face, emanating wave of her sadness, love, and devotion for him that knocked the breath from Severus, leaving him feeling so unworthy of her._

_"I'm not going to leave you here to die alone. My shard is enough, it is all they will need." she answered as she trailed a finger across his lip_

_"Please." He begged her one last time._

_"I wont leave you Severus." She insisted and she pulled him down to kiss her. He let her pull him in and poured his heart into his connection. Severus felt her love for him flowing into him and soothing his anguish away. When they broke he caressed a finger down her cheek lovingly before he sat up and with a deep breath started the complicated wand motions and intoning 'Spirius Diffindo', aiming it first at himself then at Hermione. Two shimmery formless shapes appeared and with a wave of his hand he pushed them from his mind carrying them forth. Outside his mind the two forms shimmered in the air above the journal as Snape cast a binding spell. Severus watched as the shimmering magic soaked into the pages. When the binding was complete Snape cast the wards on the journal and chest and placed the journal inside the latter._

_Severus could feel the magic flowing out of Snape, he could feel the deep wound on his soul that felt the same as his own. The feeling of emptiness and loss of that missing shard if his soul. Snape grabbed a small black vial off the nightstand and uncorking it he downed it in one quick gulp just as Severus realized what it was. Snape set the dials carefully on the time-tuner and with a final deep breath released it, letting the time-turner activate and watched as seconds later the chest disappeared. Severus felt the pull lethargy as the Draught of the Living Dead potion started to work. Snape laid down next to Hermione's cold body then they fell into his mind and Severus watched as Snape mirrored the same actions there. Hermione's corporeal form reaching for his hand, holding tightly to him for their last few moments together before the memory faded into black._

* * *

When Severus came out of the memory the soul deep ache of loss didn't go away. If anything his own wounded soul felt the truth of what he'd seen more acutely as he understood what had been sacrificed to give him the opportunity to have a better future. It turned his feelings of loss for Lily into feelings of self hate and shame.

_How could he have been so careless?_ He sat staring the journal with silent tears streaming down his face, an overwhelming sense of gratitude filled him for these two souls that had given him another chance. He vowed to himself he would not ever endanger their sacrifice for him. He collected himself with this new resolve and forced control over his emotions. Wiping at his eyes he picked up his quill.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for giving me another chance." Severus wrote, he wanted to say so much more but didn't know how to express what he felt, instead he tried to push his remorse and gratitude into the page hoping they could feel his sincerity.

"I'm satisfied that you understand the seriousness of the situation. However, we need to heal the wound from your broken bond and save you from becoming a squib, or everything we've sacrificed for you will have been a waste." Snape told him.

"How do I though? That why I've needed you. I don't know how to fix it." Severus told him.

"You will fill it with my Shard." Snape told him. Severus sat back stunned that the old man would be willing to merge his soul with his. But then he wondered,

"What will happen to Hermione if you give me your shard? You are bound to her, wont she be alone? She won't suffer will she?" Severus asked worried that he would be the cause of more suffering for her.

"She will remain in the journal. I will still be bonded with her and thus when I merge with you, you will also become bonded to her." Snape explained and Severus felt afraid for a moment.

"But what about Hermione's younger self? Doesn't she have a choice in who she bonds to? If she doesn't want to bind to me, I'll have forced another bond just like Lily's. I won't do that to her!" Severus wrote forcefully breaking the tip of his quill which he cast aside for a new one.

"It doesn't work that way Severus." Hermione answered him. Severus waited for her to continue.

"You will have a bond to my shard, because you will have his shard. My younger self has a whole and unmarked soul, We assume at most you might have the equivalent of a very strong imprint with her because of your connection to me. But you could very likely have nothing at all. Either way she will still have her choice." Hermione explained.

"So how do we do it? I don't have any magic left." Severus asked worried briefly that he wouldn't be able to managed it in his weakened state. But in answer to his question another silvery ink stain appeared on the page in front of him and as he touched it Severus' mind quickly fell into the journal.

Instead of seeing a memory of a place he literally seemed to be inside the pages of the journal where there seemed to be the small constructs of Snape and Hermione's minds that appeared three-dimensional in the opaque parchment colored expanse.

He stood in front of a replica of Spinners End that was better cared for than he'd ever seen it. Inside the entire shabby living room was taken over by a wealth of books so many that it seemed they couldn't all fit so they stood in stacks on the floor all around the room. Severus walked around exploring some wondering what he was supposed to expect to find when he heard a feminine voice clear behind him. Turning he saw Hermione for the first time alive and healthy. She was angelic, he could think of no other word to best describe how overwhelmed he was by her simple and pure beauty. She smiled at him and he felt his heart flutter excitedly.

"He's in the lab, this way Severus." Hermione said to him jerking her head to the side and holding out her hand to him. Severus stared at her hand for a moment before accepting the soft delicate fingers into his. They felt warm and he felt her affection and amusement as she led him down the stairs into the cellar turned lab. It was the same as his own, and he had a feeling that the vials and jars on the shelves like his mothers lab were his memories.

The old man stood leaning against the lab work table legs and arms crossed eying him critically as he came down before he stepped forward and they stood face to face.

"The effects of this is obviously not known, Hermione and I assume that there will be a melding of sorts of our different personalities. As my memories are here separate from me, Hermione will continue as your guide and give you the information you need when it is needed. Are you ready?" He asked Severus.

Severus gave him a terse nod and then Snape stepped inside him, his form melting into Severus'. A feeling of prickly heat mixed with being doused with ice water covered his whole body and then he collapsed unconscious on the floor. Moments later Hermione was leaning over him waking him and trying to help him to his feet. The first thing he noticed was the throbbing ache in his soul subsided, and in its place he felt a warm tug and gentle nudging from the bond with Hermione that he now shared. He swore he could feel his magical strength slowly refilling. He looked down at his hands and they appeared the same.

He realized that he felt his perceptions change, instead of feeling an almost overwhelmed obligation towards his role as spy and his goal to defeat Voldemort, he felt a fierce unwavering determination.

As he looked at Hermione he felt he could read her every movement and expression but at the same time felt like he didn't know her at all. She grabbed on his arm and looked at him concernedly as he gained his balance.

"How are you feeling? Are you both there, or did one of you gain dominance over the personality? What does it feel like?"

"Take a breath girl, surely you can allow the intake of some oxygen into your pursuit of all knowledge." Severus said scathingly and then felt a little abashed at his reply wondering where it came from.

"Well that answers that question." Hermione giggled, Severus felt warmth well up inside him at the sound. "I was worried you might lose that sharp tongue I so love to these precious puppy dog eyes of wonder I see before me." Hermione teased him. Then before he could verbalize his indignant reply she stepped up on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips. Fire ignited in Severus' abdomen and her grabbed onto her waist pulling her tightly to him, reveling in the wholesome oneness he felt in touching her. Her emotions washed through him, making him feel as though he'd been dying of thirst and he had at last been given a drink to sooth his parched throat. Severus then felt a little angry at himself for taking advantage of something he didn't deserve and pushed away from her breaking the kiss. An angry scowl on his face.

Hermione giggled.

"I was afraid of that."

"What exactly" Severus asked confused, he couldn't seem to get heads or tails of how he felt right then. He wanted to hold her and connect with her but he felt so unworthy and angry at himself for touching her. He felt he didn't deserve to touch her but determined that he would turn the world upside down in an effort to earn her affection.

"You are likely to have a bit of confusion for a while, you have two very different sets of emotional responses to come to terms with. I don't think he is going to allow you to be affectionate to me, even if it means he cannot be affectionate to me. At least not right away." She explained. Severus sort of understood what she meant as he examined his own feelings. He was in conflict over seemingly everything his entire world view was rocked by new idea and impressions. It was extremely disorienting.

"I imagine that you both need to learn to accept each other, to coexist and then your confusion will recede the more your views and opinions line up." Hermione looked up into his face and caress his cheek. Severus pressed his own hand into hers at his face and told her.

"I will do whatever is necessary to deserve what I've been given. To deserve you." He kissed her hand and she smiled.

"I know. It's time for you to go, love. Please be safe." Hermione told him and she kissed him one more time. As the kiss ended he fell out of the journal and back into his body. He stared at his hands as if expecting to see something different about himself, but he knew the difference he felt was not one that could be seen. With single-minded focus he picked up the quill and wrote to Hermione.

"You won't get lonely in there will you?" He asked her.

"No I don't think that time has meaning in here Severus. For me we are having one long never-ending conversation." She explained.

"What about the time you came from? Are you still connected to it? Do you suffer from what your parent souls are going through?" He asked wondering how close his interpretation of time was to truth.

"No our time doesn't exist anymore. Our time has been folded into your past, and exists only through our memories of it. You are rewriting history new. Consider it the equivalent of having visions of what could happen because you have Severus and myself to provide you information. But it is still your future to write. As you have seen already, you have a choice in everything." She explained to him.

"Well that is a relief, I was afraid that you would suffer the experiences from here as well as the time you came from." Severus admitted.

"Tell me about your bond. When did that happen?" Severus asked after deliberating a moment he wanted to understand where his older self was coming from, to understand why he made the decisions he made.

"Well we had a very rough beginning, and then once we'd fully embraced our connection we had only brief moments together before it was all taken from us. That is what he regrets most." Hermione explained and he felt her sadness.

"Where did everything begin for you?" Severus asked eagerly. He felt her answering amusement at his many questions and felt like he was on the outside of a joke.

"Well it's a very long story, some of which I can't tell you yet. But I can tell you that you don't meet me until 1991." She told him.

"I'm guessing that you are still very young right now, you certainly don't seem to be anywhere near thirty-eight. How did you ever end up with us with such a big age difference." Severus questioned. He felt her exasperation.

"Yes well the only reason we did end up together is because I wasn't willing to wait anymore. He pushed me away, and denied what we had because of my age, because he was a spy, because he felt unworthy and tainted by his past and his actions. That's why he did all of this. He wants a chance to make it all better. A chance to finally feel absolved so he can let himself be happy."

"So how do you meet?" Severus asked feeling like he was getting the run around from her. He felt justified when she hesitated to respond to him.

"You are my professor when I go to Hogwarts." She answered.

"What? Wait so you're telling me that start a relationship with an eleven year old?"

"No! For your information I'm twelve when I start at Hogwarts. And nothing happened between us till I was of age anyway. And even then you could hardly call it a relationship when you bliviate me right after we connect." Hermione raged at him her handwriting becoming sloppier as she wrote.

"So what then your seventeen while I'm still twice your age, and your professor? You make me sound rather depraved." Severus answered her feeling very confused, not even the old man seemed to disagree with his assessment. He didn't feel conflicted in the slightest over his reservations about being in a relationship with someone so much younger than him. At the very least it was comforting to know he wasn't really a dirty old man creeping on a young girl in his care. Severus shuddered in revulsion.

"Severus I know what you are experiencing I've felt it enough times from him to recognize it. Just give us a chance to get to know each other and come what may." Hermione told him. Severus still had a hard time wrapping his head around the notion but he decided there was nothing he could do about it currently. He said his goodbyes to Hermione, promising to keep in touch regularly.

Over the next few days he took stock of what he knew of Riddle and shared what new information he had with Hermione.

He learned from her more about souls and how the soul severing worked and between the two of them they worked out that Severus was probably correct in his theory of how Riddle bound Eileen's magic to him.

"From what I've read the soul severing is technically dark magic, but not entirely. It's just like the unforgivables you must have the proper intent behind the spell." Hermione explained

"Master Aulus told me about this, but he said you have to commit murder to cut the soul. What makes this journal any different from that?" Severus asked.

"The journal is not made of pieces of the soul that were forcibly and raggedly ripped, they are pure and were given with love. It's all about the intent. When Snape removed our shards using the severing spell he knew what the consequences would be. It would be the same as if both of us suffered a broken soul bond, we would slowly lose our magic. Usually when a Horcrux is created the life-force of the victim is used to cauterize the soul, but it still leaves soul ragged and broken. It only prevents the magical loss. It doesn't stop the soul from becoming warped and twisted."

"So if Riddle had already mutilated his soul then by binding my mothers shard to himself could that have stabilized his soul and kept him strong?" Severus wondered.

"Well it is possible he gained some benefit from it. I think it would be wise for you to keep an eye on him and see how the severing has effected him." Hermione advised.

* * *

Severus certainly had his work cut out for him, in a short time he'd be completing his Apprenticeship and then he would be meeting with Riddle once more to get more details on his assignment at Hogwarts. Severus actually dreaded meeting with Dumbledore feeling like he had so much to tell him and yet so much to hide. He knew that they needed to start looking for the Horcruxes that Riddle had already created, but there wasn't much that they could do but wait. Riddle would call on Regulus's assistance and reveal the location of one Horcrux. The most Hermione knew about it's location was that it had been inside a cave. The other one he had to try to locate was a diary that they believed would be in Malfoys possession. All of this information Severus would be sharing with Dumbledore so the old man could start trying to find the known Horcruxes and ferreting out his various schemes to prolong his life and gain more power.

At the same time the political environment inside wizarding Britain was in a precarious position. With the victims of the death eaters attacks being blamed for their attackers crimes more and more people on their side were being forced into hiding. The ministry was being manipulated from the inside and Riddle was being rumored as a shoe in for the next Minister for Magic.

Severus could hardly believe that people could be so ignorant and blind with the majority of people believing that Riddle and Voldemort where two separate people. They imagined a crazy psychopath as being the leader of the violent gang of Death Eaters. So when faced with the handsome visage of Tom Riddle, who was persuasive and cunning, they never batted an eye at his political maneuvering and open discrediting of the Minister who was failing to protect the people. There were even some who believed the Death Eaters to be a band of wayward youth out to wreak some havoc, and the ministry simply didn't have the manpower to deal with such petty criminals. He couldn't believe that anyone could feasibly live inside such a bubble of ignorance. But saw daily proof as people continued to be targeted and the general public did not rise up in arms against this looming threat, all content to believe whatever information the paper printed and carry on with their merry ways so long as they were not affected.

* * *

Master Aulus was very happy to see that Severus had found a way to seal his soul bond away. He watched Severus work that last month and admired his single-minded devotion to his work. He saw a new level of understanding come from him as he grasped new methods quickly as if he'd been doing them for years. Severus moved with deft skill and grace when working over a cauldron that was beautiful to behold and he felt very proud of what his apprentice had accomplished.

When the end of the apprenticeship arrived Jorle Aulus was very sad to see his most favored and talented students go, but he felt sure that the young man would go far in life. He sat with Severus in his study on the last day of the year that marked the end of the apprenticeship and the beginning of Severus' life as a potions master, and he observed sadly.

"You have a harsh road ahead of you my boy. I wish there was a brighter future for someone as talented as you to look forward to. These are dark times, do your Master proud and keep to the light." Jorle advised him. Severus smiled and nodded in thanks of his kind word before he resumed his normal blank expression.

"I think it would be safer for you master if you allowed me to remove your memories concerning my loyalties. I do not want to put you in harm's way but leaving you in possession of such information should I ever come into any danger." Severus told him. Jorle had expected and was ashamed to admit that he agreed with Severus. He felt a coward, but he did not want to put his family in danger.

"I understand Severus, you have my permission. Just know that even if I don't remember, you hold a special place in my heart as the son I wish I'd had." Severus grasped his masters shoulder giving him a squeeze before he aimed an Obliviate at his head. Afterwards he shook his dazed mentor's hand with a thanks and left France for his childhood home, ready to start the rest of his life as a double agent to save the wizarding world from the destructive hands of his father.


	25. Something Wicked This Way Comes (6,485)

A/N: Sorry once again for the long time between my updates, the closer and closer we get to the event horizon for this first half of my fiction the more tangled my plot becomes. It's taking great care and planning to get through the last few chapters. PLEASE if you notice that I have dropped the ball on something, don't hesitate to point it out. I don't have a Beta following me through this so I can't promise I won't accidentally slip someplace. However **Kraco** should get full credits for all coherence of the last few chapters by letting me use her as a sounding board and keeping me focused. **You rock K!**

Sorry if I've not responded to reviews, I haven't been able to let myself get distracted from the plot. I spent 12 straight hours compiling notes this weekend before I even started writing. I'll try to catch up and respond to you all but I apologize in advance if some of you fall through the cracks. I still love you! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

On another note, **YES IT IS STILL eventual SSHG**. Just making sure you know. Has everyone read the one shot teaser of SSHG future romance? check it out if you haven't! (remove spaces - dot =.)

www. fanfiction dot net /s/9409254/1/Plausible-Deniability

Mood music: Alas none this time that was fitting enough of this chapter. suggestions are most welcome!

Disclaimer: JKR owns it all, (except any errors I'll claim those) no profits made! (besides the feedback of wonderful readers, which is better than anything money can buy)

* * *

**Chapter 24: Something Wicked This Way Comes  
**

Remus sat anxiously waiting for Severus to arrive at Spinners End. He'd not been able to meet with him sooner than this day due to a very tricky situation he'd been working with a werewolf pack. The last full moon he'd been forced to forgo his dosage of Wolfsbane to prove to the pack the difference that he exhibited when he took the potion. The werewolf community was extremely skeptical of the supposed treatment, because nearly all suppliers of the complicated brew got the already unstable mixture dangerously wrong. In the time since the potion was made problem the werewolf community had been reduced by a quarter of its size. It made convincing the werewolves extremely time-consuming, it would take him months to persuade a small group because the only way to prove that what he had to offer them worked was for them to see the changes in action. Tonight he would be picking up this batch of Wolfsbane in person, and using it as an opportunity to keep a promise and figure something out that had troubled him.

Remus had been asked by Regulus to make sure that Lily did not suspect anything about Severus. He explained that Severus was badly injured during the blood rites and dropped his occlusions long enough for Lily to know he was alive. She immediately jumped in to rescue him and Severus' role as a spy was revealed. Regulus said that he believed that Severus had Obliviated her but they needed to be sure, absolutely sure, Lily remembered nothing.

Remus showed up late morning and had waited in the small living room of the cottage for a few minutes before Lily emerged looking quite tussled and flushed with a star struck looking James in tow. There was no doubt in his mind what they'd been up to, James smug expression and very friendly hands on her screamed it. That and Remus could smell it on them.

He was very easily convinced that Lily didn't remember a thing of her encounter with Severus or the fact that she knew he was her bonded. He was about to let it go at the single whiff when he realized he smelled more than one man's spunk on Lily. This was the unfortunate downside of being days before a full moon and having such heightened senses. More than once he'd learned of infidelity between people he'd never have expected it from because of his heightened senses, and it was even worse that he could easily identify who the other was. Without question he knew that Lily had slept with Severus, and then returned home and slept with James.

Remus was more than a little dumbfounded and angry, but he forced himself to remember that he didn't know the situation and as Severus friend he shouldn't doubt his motives. Remus couldn't help however felt dread when he thought of the news he would have to deliver to Severus that night nearly 2 months later, and prayed to any deity listening that Severus would not do something stupid as a result.

Remus heard Severus arrive and got up from the sofa in the living room and stood leaning, arms and legs crossed, in the entryway to that room watching the front door and waiting for Severus to enter.

The door opened and Severus walked in and removed his cloak, giving his friend a blank expression.

"You're here early, didn't know you'd be so eager to see me." Severus quipped. Remus gave him a half-hearted smile.

"I've got news, and I needed enough time to share it with you before I have to get back to administer tonight's doses." He explained. Severus nodded his head in understanding then held out his hand for Remus to precede him around the corner to the door to his lab. Once downstairs Severus busied himself with preparing the Wolfsbane and motioned for Remus to tell him what he needed to tell him with a wave of his hand.

"What news do you have then?" Severus prompted him.

"Well the first bit I'm sure you probably know but I've made a promise to tell you so I'm fulfilling that. I don't want to bring the topic up at all otherwise." Remus prefaced before continuing with a sigh determined not to beat about the bush.

"Lily was married the second week of November, to James which I told you was developing. She asked about you over the summer and wondered if she should invite you or at least tell you ahead of time. I advised her not to and promised to inform you myself."

"You're right then, I did already know and you could have spared us both bringing it up. I knew the moment our bond was severed." Severus told him rather acidly. He was in no mood to talk about Lily and James and the marital bliss; he wanted nothing more than to forget them both.

"As I thought you would, but my promised to Lily is fulfilled." Remus held up his hand in a placating gesture. He could imagine Severus was having one hell of a time dealing the broken bond now and didn't feel like poking the bear to begin with, but some things needed to be said. The next part he was sure for his well-being Severus probably shouldn't know, but he knew that telling Severus now was better than waiting till later and having him find out when his reaction couldn't be prevented at all. Remus sighed and continued,

"The reason I bring it up is because Lily is pregnant." He expected Severus to go pale and be afraid and ask how long she'd been pregnant for, all the questions a man who was potentially going to be a father would ask. He was completely flummoxed with Severus replied indifferently.

"So what you came to gloat the imminent arrival of more Gryffindor hell spawn that I will no doubt have the displeasure of teaching? Or did you think that I actually cared and would get all weepy at Lily's success at getting knocked up by the bastard that is her husband?" Severus dropped the knife he was using on the Wolfsbane ingredients and leaned heavily on one hand at the work table, while pinching the bridge of his nose with his other.

"I don't fucking care Remus, there is no point in me being sentimental over the 'what if's' between Lily and I. She has her life and I have mine; free at last of the mistake I made in trying to make them coincide." He looked up at Remus and saw his shocked expression. Remus was thinking quickly. It was obvious by his reaction that Severus didn't consider it a possibility that he was the father, he quickly surmised that the only way he could not make that very obvious leap from the information he'd been given was that he either one; didn't remember sleeping with Lily on Samhain, or two; actually didn't sleep with Lily. Remus immediately threw out the latter, his sense of smell was never wrong. Even now in the room he could smell the musk that was singularly Severus and remember the same smell on Lily.

_Severus doesn't know then._ Remus concluded then he decided he needed to talk to Regulus and find out what he knew of that night. He realized that he was staring with his mouth agape and Severus was looking at him irritated so he snapped his mouth shut.

"You are right Severus; I don't know what I was thinking. Sorry to have brought it up." Remus apologized. He was at least relieved that he didn't have to prevent Severus from doing something stupid when he learned that Lily's child might be his. They changed the topic to something more friendly catching up on news between them and telling stories of their various pursuits. Severus seemed more carefree in a way but also more focused than ever and Remus was glad that he was handling everything better than before. By the time he left that night with the fresh batch of Wolfsbane he was positive that Severus had been Obliviated, and resolved to talk to Regulus of his suspicions of Lily's child and if they should tell Severus at all.

* * *

Once Severus had said his goodbyes to Remus, then he went to his floo and called out the headmaster's Office at Hogwarts and tossed a nondescript note through requesting audience. The Floo flared green again and Severus stepped through into the Headmasters Office where Albus stood waiting for him staring out his window over the castle grounds.

"Severus, congratulations on your mastery. I've had a letter of recommendation from Master Aulus earlier today, expounding your many qualities. I have no reservations assigning you the post of Potions Professor for the next school year, and I daresay Horace will be more than happy to finally retire." Albus said whimsically, before turning to face the dark man.

"Thank you Albus. Getting straight to business however there is much I have learned from the journal that I need to share with you." Severus said his occlusions at full strength and his face held placid and expressionless. He felt Dumbledore's empathic grazing brush him and smirked internally at the brief expression of annoyance that crossed the aged wizards face at being locked out.

"Very well, have a seat." Dumbledore said pointing to a winged back chair near the fireplace before taking up the one opposite him.

Severus jumped right to the meat of their discussion and outlined for Dumbledore the situation with the Horcruxes and the need for their destruction before they could ever hope to defeat the Dark Lord. This news seemed to rock the old wizard to his core.

"You are sure it is seven? Is that even possible?" Dumbledore wondered aloud. Severus just nodded at him and continued.

"The only known objects used, were a journal, the Gaunt family ring, and Salazar Slytherin's locket. The other four were never discovered. The journal ends up in the hands of a student on 1992 and is believed to have been in Lucius Malfoy's possession up until then, so I will be trying to locate that one. Regulus was called to assist the Dark Lord the first time with the Locket, so we need only wait for the Dark Lord to call on him again. And lastly, you find the cursed ring. The remaining four items were not known but they believed they were other Founders items like the locket." Severus explained Dumbledore was staring off into the fire that flickered low in the hearth. Severus watched the old wizard as he processed the news and then saw the shadow of suspicion that passed over his expression before he sought to hide it form his features. He met Severus' eyes with a pair of flinty blue ones that felt ready to bore through him for the answers he sought. Severus kept his expression blank and his occlusions as strong as he could under the Headmasters gaze.

"Tell me Severus, what is the nature of your Journal? Is it not just like what you seek to destroy? A Horcurx. Foul and Evil. Why should I trust you or the information from it?" Dumbledore questioned him. Severus felt the magical energy in the room snap taut and he knew the powerful old wizard was perfectly prepared to destroy him where he stood if he didn't answer satisfactorily. Severus felt anger and irritation rise up inside him and he poured his anger into the venom of his words.

"The Journal is a shard of a soul bond that he placed in the journal and sent back for our benefit. He died to give us this second chance. You can sit high in your sanctimonious tower and look down on me and my failings to your heart's content, but I won't stand for anything but complete respect for what was sacrificed on our behalf." Severus stood to pace the room and Dumbledore called out to him equally hostile.

"Tell me what was sacrificed then. Show me what great cost was paid on our behalf Severus. I do not trust your motives, not when I see what you are capable of doing. When I see how easily you can twist something so pure for your purposes for your wants. I haven't forgotten what you've done to Lily." Dumbledore accused him hoping to crush him under the weight of guilt that Severus had shown before. Dumbledore was surprised when Severus whirled on him his face twisted in rage and his voice dangerously quiet.

"I have paid for my errors with more suffering this past year and a half than you can imagine old man. I carried the burden of my mistake and let her destroy that bond at no consequence to her soul. You can not make me feel guilty for a debt I've paid in full Albus." Dumbledore seemed taken aback at this and stood up abruptly, looking Severus up and down as approached him with his robes swirling behind him. Severus stood rigid and glowering; he didn't even flinch when Dumbledore pulled his wand on him and then cast a spell he didn't recognize. It seemed to be a complex diagnostic spell if the colors and runes that appeared in front of Severus were any indication. The headmaster cancelled the spell then glowered at Severus.

"You are not suffering from a severed bond. What price were you willing to pay to close it then, if what you say is true? What innocent life was taken to seal in your magic and to save your life from draining away with that magic?" Dumbledore spit at him, obviously too caught up in his prejudice to consider the implications of what he'd already been told.

"You are so ready to believe the worst of me? That was his sacrifice Albus, he gave his soul to keep mine whole!" Severus reached out through he warmth of the bond that attached him to Hermione's journal and then summoned the book into his hand. He hoped the spell would work in reverse and instead of taking him to the book; that instead it would bring the book to him. The book popped into existence in his hand and Severus placed his other hand lovingly on top of it in a protective gesture.

"He gave me his shard and left his bonded's shard to guide my path in the journal. They gave me everything!" Severus said forcefully. Dumbledore paled when the journal arrived and he understood Severus words and took on a pained sorrowful expression as the truth hit him.

What Severus had tried to tell him finally clicked and he felt ashamed for being blinded by his prejudice, by his lack of trust in those who are willing to tamper with the dark arts. He didn't allow himself any excuses for the actions he's once taken believing his intentions noble and that it would balance the taint from tampering in dark spells. He knew how easy it was to believe your actions were for good. And he placed that mistrust of himself and his anger at his own failings and projected them on to Severus, convinced that he could not be blameless or untainted. Convinced that Severus was just as blinded as he'd been by his noble intentions to be able to see he walked through the gates of hell with every step further down his dark path as Death Eater spy. But now he understood, he truly had avoided the taint of dark magic in this and was ashamed of his accusations.

"Who is she?" Dumbledore asked in a quiet voice. Wanting to know who else had made such a sacrifice to give up part of their soul and their life. Not to mention and a little curious to know who this enigmatic young man, that would one day become his replacement, had tied his soul to. Severus frowned at him and moved the journal away from between them, holding it protectively at his side as he considered his response.

"She is everything." Severus answered with a quiet reverence. Dumbledore nodded, he imagined that he would be as protective of that information as well and let it drop as he was sure he knew the answer already.

He suspected that the first Severus managed to keep his soul bond somehow and surmised that a shard of Lily's past/future soul was bound to the journal. One thing he'd never questioned was how fiercely Severus loved that girl after seeing his fear for her safety during their last conversation. During that conversation Severus had many fluctuations of his magic as he was distraught with his fear and Dumbledore got glimpses of the depth of his devotion to her as his occlusions waivered and his emotions bled through for Dumbledore to pick up on. It was the only reason he didn't sever ties with the self-proclaimed spy on the spot for his actions. Angry though he was, and wary of Severus' proclivity for the dark arts he still didn't believe him capable of intentionally hurting Lily after that moment.

Very well, Severus. Let us sit back down then. We still have to discuss your upcoming meeting with Tom." Dumbledore gestured to their chairs in a manner that implied a new truce between them. Severus took up his chair and tucked the journal next his thigh keeping a hand on it at all times as they finished their discussion and planning.

Dumbledore tasked him with finding out the names of those who were being targeted by the enemy's efforts. The regulation and control of portkeys had been passed and it left the members of the Order that still functioned in public and among the ministry in an extremely vulnerable position. They could not carry portkeys with them while they were working at the ministry because of the security checks and scans that now looked for all portkeys. If they were caught with an unregistered portkey they would immediately be arrested and tried. There was no hope for proving they were innocent of Death Eater crimes, as the Wizengamot was only too eager to place blame on the first and only supposed culprits that are brought before them. All in an effort to show they were actually doing something against the strengthening evil forces. Dumbledore also asked Severus to learn as much as he could of the structure of Death Eaters and agents within the ministry, so that they could try to neutralize the most influential of them. It was obvious that Tom was maneuvering against the current Minister for Magic and trying to take the seat for himself. They needed to help his opposition as best they could be it the current minister or his replacement, and Severus was to find out anything he could on how to do just that, and find out what would be the most damaging thing to Tom's political platform.

* * *

When Severus finally returned back to Spinners End his mind was too wound up from all of the information he knew he'd have to find and stressing over how he was going to find it all out. He felt the a soothing wave of peace from the journal still held in his hand and he rubbed the cover with his thumb affectionately then he moved to sit at his desk and pulled out a quill to talk to her.

"Forgive me for abusing your person this evening; I believed I would have to reveal you to Albus to make him trust me. I'm glad it didn't come to that." Severus wrote to her apologetically.

"I take it the meeting with the Headmaster did not go over well?" Hermione asked.

"It ended well enough. I have my work cut out for me, I'll say that much. But I was wondering if you might be able to shed some light on who was targeted in your time. We need to know who to protect." Severus told her. He hoped that there would be something that she could share of their memories.

"Well, pretty much all the prominent order members are targeted. Moody was a very big thorn in their side, so where the Prewitt brothers and Arthur Weasley. Then there's Edgar Bones and his family because he opposed the Dark Lord when he was trying to take the Minister of Magic position. The McKinnons you know about, then obviously the Potters, the Longbottoms, Benjy Fenwick, the Lupins, and even the Blacks. Really so many people were lost; it's hard to say who they were focusing on, and who was just convenient collateral damage." Hermione listed of more names that Severus had expected to see. They went over each name and family discussing the potential reasons for why they would be targeted and possible plans for how they could escape the same fates they suffered from before. When they got to the Longbottoms Severus remembered his first conversation with the journal and questioned her on them.

"Why the Longbottoms? I mean they are both Aurors so I guess I could see that they could be just as much of a thorn in his side as Moody. But why did Snape want me to save them? He said back then that I couldn't save Lily, but I have done that and she still ended up with Potter like he said she would." Severus asked honestly perplexed at why he would want those two Aurors especially out of the dozens that were in MLE.

"Well because of the prophecy, they denied him three times and they have a son, Neville, who is born at the end of the seventh month. That automatically make them as much of a target as it makes Lily and James and their son, really it could have been either the only reason it was Harry in the end was because that was who he marked as his equal." She explained. Severus felt like she was speaking a different language as he tried to understand what she was saying.

"Wait, what prophecy are you talking about?" Severus asked her.

"The prophecy you overheard being told to Dumbledore while you waited for your interview for the D.A.D.A. position back in October." Hermione explained, Severus paled and his heart dropped. He'd assumed that they'd gotten Lily out of danger but now he remembered that Lily wasn't supposed to be at the McKinnons that night. So whatever it was that was going to happen to her still had not happened.

"I haven't' heard a prophecy, my interview for the position isn't until after I meet with the Dark lord tomorrow and he gives me the details of my assignment. When was I supposed to have heard it?"

"It was the morning after Halloween. Dumbledore was looking to fill the divinations post and was taking interviews at the Hog's Head. Snape's memory shows that you'd been turned down once for the D.A.D.A position and you'd come back to ask for it again now that you were near the end of your Mastery. You overheard the prophecy and took it to Dark Lord straight away hoping that it would ease your punishment for not having secured the position yet." She replied. Severus thought and then starting putting down his thoughts so she would know where he was trying to get to.

"I already know I'll get the post because I've already allied myself with Dumbledore, so I wouldn't have to try so hard as I did the first time. So then I didn't hear the prophecy and if I don't turn the prophecy in to him then the Dark Lord never knows about it and Lily and her son are safe." Severus conjectured. Not exactly asking a question but hoping that she would see the same logic. He felt her confusion and sadness and was worried. He felt like there was something he was missing that she didn't want to tell him.

"I don't know Severus, if he doesn't know about the prophecy then you probably won't be able to destroy his Horcruxes and stop him before he takes over the ministry. The prophecy becomes an all-consuming obsession to him and it's his escalation and instability because he heard it that leads to the public not voting him in as the new Minister in early 1980. I'm not sure it is safe for you to not tell him the prophecy it might just make his take over happen eighteen years earlier than the last time."

Severus was stumped. Hermione was right they needed to find some way of distracting his attentions from his campaign they needed to make him lose popularity and publicly so. From what Hermione had already told him Riddle had gone after Edgar Bones who was running for minister against him and killed his family after publicly losing his temper and threatening Mr. Bones. It wasn't a smoking gun to prove he was the murderer that he was but it was enough for the voter base to be concerned and as a result they almost unanimously voted for Bones' choice for senior undersecretary Millicent Bagnold.

Severus asked her for the prophecy so that he would know it and the familiar silver ink blot appeared. After having viewed it he had a few more questions and ideas for how he might be able to manipulate Riddle with the information.

"Well I need to know if he already knows about the prophecy and if he doesn't I'm going to have to get Dumbledore to interview me sooner than I'd planned so that I can have feasibly overheard it. I have an idea on how to keep both the families safe, but I can't move forward without that information." Severus told her.

"Please be careful Severus. Everything is so different, I feel like my information is useless." Hermione told him. He could feel her sadness and her concern and it warmed him. Even if she was only part of a soul he ached to hold her. He sent this feeling through their connection and he felt her answering happiness that would have been the equivalent to a sad smile.

"I will."

* * *

Severus only managed to get a few hours of rest that morning when he finally let his worries go long enough to drift off to sleep. But once he was up he sent an owl to Regulus asking to meet up with him that evening before they went to the Revel. Severus was anxious because Riddle had been uncommonly quiet since the night of the blood rites. He was sure that he would have been summoned if he'd been wanted but the lack of any activity, even among the other Death Eaters since then was foreboding. Severus was afraid to lean what he was up to, and afraid to know how knowledge of his paternity would affect everything.

When Regulus arrived Severus informed him what it was he needed to find out, and asked Regulus to keep his ears out for anything relating to who was being targeted. They quickly came up with a good system for working their way through the inner circle. One of them would engage their target in conversation and drop key words that would get them thinking about their various assignments. Severus had the tough job of using Legilimency on them to glean the information without them noticing. Tonight would be an enlightening experience; because he would know very quickly which other Death Eaters were the most dangerous. He could only hope that there would not be very many that were able to occlude him.

As it turned out it wasn't a Revel at all which only served to increase Severus' anxiety. The Dark Lord had gathered only his Lieutenants, all the Marked were present and milling around conversationally in the Drawing room of Malfoy Manor. Severus wondered briefly if Riddle actually lived there or if he just imposed on Malfoy for all their gathering.

As he thought of just how strange it would be to have someone like the Dark Lord literally lording around your home he suddenly had a great deal of sympathy for Narcissa. She'd not been the one to join the Death Eaters and yet this was the life her husband had chosen and thus the one she was forced to deal with. He wondered how close she was to being opposed to the Dark Lord already and decided that he needed to make a concerted effort to lead Lucius out of this before things got really bad.

Just then Mulciber rejoined the Drawing room and approached him. Regulus caught his movement toward Severus and covertly made his way over to serve as a distraction briefly so that Severus could try to get information.

"Snape, you've been requested in the Study." Mulciber said and then immediately turned away and joined another group's conversation. Severus and Regulus eye met from across the room and Severus saw the unspoken "good luck" expression Regulus flashed him before he returned to socializing. Severus set aside the tumbler of fire whiskey he'd been pretending to drink and made his way to the study.

He did his normal checks of his shields and forced the oceans in to complete glassy calm. When he wasn't expecting to have Riddle search his mind he left the ocean barren and endless. If Riddle wanted to jump into his mind unexpectedly he would not have the luxury of avoiding his oceanic defenses. Severus had worked long and hard at making those waters numbingly frigid for anyone who dared try to enter his mind. He almost looked forward to using them on Riddle even if it meant he'd be Crucio'd for his impertinence. Severus smiled to himself and he poured more of his hate and malice into those frigid waters before he knocked quietly on the door to the study.

"Enter." Came Riddle's reply. Severus stepped inside and saw that they would be having a private audience; he bowed slightly from the door but stood waiting to be invited to sit.

"My lord, you wished to see me?" Riddle turned from where he'd stood facing away from him gazing into the fireplace. Riddle took a moment to give Severus a good looking over before he answered.

"Not Father then, is it Severus?" He asked in a strange tone.

"I wouldn't presume to think you would allow such an informal address without your expressed permission." Severus responded, he wasn't sure what to think of the question. Was Riddle toying with him or did he truly want to recognize the bond that existed between them?

"No you are right, I would not allow it. Tell me Severus. Do you hate me? You know what I did to your mother; I have no regret for it. Would you oppose me Severus, now that you have this new information?"

"No my Lord." Severus asked and he kept his power flowing into his occlusions. Riddle looked at him sideways as if he was observing something curious and wished to poke it. Severus stiffened preparing for a spell that didn't come.

"Knowing who you are now Severus only makes me expect nothing more than perfection from you. I know what you must be capable of, your mother was a very powerful witch in her time and my power is unmatched by anyone's. You therefore most certainly would be naturally gifted. As such I will accept nothing but absolute perfection, and you will pay for your missteps more harshly than your brethren as result. But conversely I will also share with you what you deserve as my son and heir." Riddle explained. Severus had mixed emotions over his words, some were exactly what he'd expected like that he'd be treated more harshly. But it was the notion that he would treat him as a son in private, and 'share' that really worried Severus.

Riddle invited Severus to take a seat on one of the two armed chairs in front of the fire. Once Severus was seated facing him, Riddle began detailing the assignment he had for him.

"Your innate talent and unmatched skill in your family's art is uniquely capable of serving me as none other could serve me. I need you to be a spy, become a trusted and close confidant of Albus Dumbledore. I am making bold moves in the Ministry that if I'm to be successful; I need to know what the old man is planning with his so called Order. You must take whatever steps are needed to ensure his trust in you." Riddle paused. His elbows rested on the arms of his chair, and he brought his steepled fingers to his lips and caressed them with a slight side to side motion of his head. As he was lost in thought his eyes bore in to Severus with an evil glinting fire in their blackened depths. Severus couldn't fully repress the small tremor that went through him, only visible in the slight tremble of his fingers that he held in a forced relaxed position, palms down, on his thighs. Severus didn't' speak, holding his father's gaze directly and brazenly, trying to read that evil intent and decipher his next move.

"Tell me son, what progress have you made with your pet?" He asked placing one hand on the arm of his chair. Severus forced his breathing to remain calm.

"My lord?" Severus gamely answered waiting to know more before he provided information. Riddle grinned lasciviously at Severus and his cunning as he then traced his lip with his finger in a familiar thoughtful way that made Severus' soul cringe.

"Lovely Lily, did you know that she denied me my anger on Samhain? I had intent to kill you that night, but I have since reassessed your value to me." He dropped his hand to hang over his lap, ending the motions that Severus found so unsettling. Riddle continued, his voice mordantly caressing each word.

"Lily; precious and pure to you, she used your bond that night and saved you from my blind anger. Call her here, now, and show me your power over her." Riddle demanded tauntingly, almost knowingly. Severus swallowed and his eyes flicked about the room nervously as he thought before he met Riddle's wickedly mirthful gaze again.

"I cannot, my lord."

* * *

A/N #2:

Dear Sofie,

Since you did not sign in on I am forced to answer your question about souls and memories here. In my story souls are separate from memories. This is depicted in the first few chapters when Hermione's mind is broken. Do you notice how her soul is separate from the constructs of her mind as well as her memories? Headmaster Snape even makes a comment that her soul wouldn't remember him as her memories were in her destroyed library. This is how I have depicted souls and memories and interpreted them for this fiction. We could go into philosophical debate over the true nature of souls and the intrinsic value of a persons memories and experiences in the definition of ones soul. But it would be irrelevant to this story.

in this story souls and memories both reside separately in the journal, and the same would be just as true for Riddle's journal and it would still function the same as it did in cannon. The souls as a shards that give life to the memories and make them interactive. Without the shards the journal would be nothing more than a pensieve, a vessel carrying around copies of memories. The souls serve to govern the memories and dole out information when it is most needed. Otherwise our hero would end up over informed and the story would be very drastically altered. We don't want it too altered and end up with no Hermione, as the Headmaster's whole goal was to have a second chance at life with her and to save some innocents along the way. Besides it fits with the controlling sneaking nature of our beloved Headmaster to give out only the information you'd need to do as he requires.

I hope this answers your question.

Also, I'm totally down for any philosophical debates about souls or not souls from anyone, you can either pm me here on or email me luckyilexx at gmail dot com.


	26. The Birthright (5,779)

A/N: Evening dear readers! New chapter here and I want to give a shout out to **KRACO** once again has been a huge help and all credit goes to her for the action scene. She practically my Beta! *hint*hint*wink*wink*

Mood music: 'Pure' by Rameses B - doesn't necessarily have any relevance in sound just helped me to get in the zone and tune out the noises of children playing so I could focus on the chapter. ^.^ **Content Warning: Mature Sexual Themes**, PG-13Disclaimer: Not mine, no money. **YES IT'S STILL eventual SSHG**.

* * *

**Chapter 25: The Birthright**

_"Lily - precious and pure to you. She used your bond that night and saved you from my blind anger. Call her here, now, and show me your power over her." Riddle demanded tauntingly, almost knowingly. Severus swallowed and his eyes flicked about the room nervously before he met Riddle's wickedly mirthful gaze again._

_"I cannot, my lord."_

Severus kept his breathing as even as he could and tried to keep a nonchalant expression, as if his failing to do as he was commanded didn't cause him extreme anxiety. Riddle laughed at his display of impudence.

"Can you not? Has the witch subverted the bond then and escaped your grasp?" He asked.

Severus was unsure what his motives were, he couldn't make sense of his current line of questioning and why he was not being immediately punished. He looked up and met his father's taunting glare, silently and wandlessly he slipped into Riddle twisted foremind.

_What he saw was Riddle's desire to see Severus consumed with rage, frustrated over losing Lily to Potter. He wanted to see the crushed and frustrated attempts of his son's woefully misguided attempt for such a thing as senseless as love. He wanted to see the pain, hate, anger, and jealousy of his loss._

Severus was out of his mind before even a whole moment had passed his gleaning so brief and so faint that he didn't even register on Riddle's pathetic Occlumency radar. Severus could show him everything he asked for with ease drawing form his many experiences with Lily and James over the years. He sneered angrily, his expressionless features slowly twisting with hate and pain. He let the struggle to repress his anger show on his face then he answered.

"Yes my Lord, she has replaced my bond and cast me aside for that lovesick whelp Potter that has drooled after her for years." Severus spat then sat forward in his chair putting his hands through his hair to show his agitation as he pretended to struggle for composure. He took the act just a bit further to convince him of his anger, saying,

"When I find him I will kill him for touching her, I'll remove every appendage from him that has been laid on that which is mine and mine alone. Then I will burn the rest of him alive!" Severus vowed.

_Yes that had the desired effect_, He thought, convinced by his reaction that Riddle was dabbling in the empathic grazing that Albus was so fond of. Riddle sat forward in his chair, watching as Severus' murderous rage and jealousy take over him, and his eyes dilated in excitement as if feeding off of the negative emotions.

The emotions where not hard for Severus to manifest, he'd could very easily muster up enough hate to violently kill James Potter on any day. But the more he fed what he believed to be mimicked emotions, the stranger he began to feel. As if he was awakening a sleeping beast within his blood that had lain long dormant.

It reminded him of his forays with the Dark Arts when he was younger before he'd gotten the memory chest; the bubbling rage and contempt lying just under the surface begging to be freed by a Crucio or a strong Sectumsempra.

Dark spells like these rewarded their caster with a sickening satisfaction when fed with the right intent, rewarding the caster with a pleasure that became as addicting as the most pervasive of mind altering drugs. A small Crucio could leave you with a thrumming buzz reminiscent of sexual tension built from hours of long foreplay. A Sectumsempra which was Severus personal favorite, when fed enough blood to quench the spells insatiable thirst could grant the caster a heady adrenaline rush, making the caster feel powerful. It was like a seductive pulsing need within your blood, awoken when your emotions began to rage with the correct amount and type of intent needed for the spell; the words to cast them could practically form on your lips unbidden. This was the true danger, the inescapable sirens call, which came from meddling with the Dark Arts.

As he saw Severus's rage building Riddle grabbed his marked arm, pressing him thumb hard into his still cloth-covered forearm where the snake of his mark was etched beneath. Severus felt the pleasure curse of the snake sigil on his Mark activate. He felt with a sickening dread as it fed off the hate and fear he'd drawn up from his combative past with Potter, and his jaded love of Lily.

He felt the erotic pleasure washing over him, feeling as if the faintest wisp of a breeze across his skin would send him careening over an orgasmic cliff, but instead it dangled him tauntingly at the precipice of ever incomplete torturous bliss. The notion of feeling any amount of shame or embarrassment for his body's traitorous straining display and that it was being provoked by his father's touch was far from his mind. Lost and insensate to anything but the pleasure as it fed off and amplified his aggressive emotions. Severus slid out of his chair to his knees, the only action he'd managed to force from his body while trying to wrench his arm from the tight grasp holding it. Riddle jerked his arm holding it above Severus' head as he became what felt like a pile of boneless jelly on the floor from the curse embedded in the snake sigil.

Severus tried to pull back in to his occlusions and fight the sensual sickness from him, attempting lock the effects of the curse outside his occlusions. Riddle must have felt him pulling up his barriers because he immediately slid his thumb higher switching to the opposite torture curse embedded in the skull sigil as reprimand for fighting the sensations.

The contrast in sensations was the mental slap Severus needed and his occlusions pulled up tightly, ending the uncontrolled rage that seemed as if it was being goaded but his Dark Mark. He kept his consciousness outside his barriers and let the pain wash over him in an effort to purge the filthy cloying feeling that seemed to permeate him from the effects of the snake sigil. The pain seemed brief in comparison to what felt like an eternity under its opposite, as he listened to Riddle explain what he was doing to him.

"You have much to learn Severus; you still have your purist indoctrinated ideals of love and compassion. These are useless in the pursuit of power. Each time you deny these weaknesses you will be rewarded through your Mark. This will help strengthen your resolve on your path to true unadulterated power. The call of true power cannot be ignored, Severus. It will continue to swell in your blood until you are forced to answer it. This is your birthright Severus." With that Riddle released his arm and stood to pace the room in front of the fireplace. He was clearly agitated by something and attempting gather his thoughts.

Severus stood from his kneeling position and straightened his attire, thankful for the Crucio that had quickly dismissed the unsettling responses to the snake sigil. The spell that was tied to the snake sigil of his Dark Mark he'd been surprised to learn during his apprenticeship was called Voluptas. It was a spell that was lauded about in the boy's dorms and Quidditch locker rooms for its ability to significantly increase your sexual partners pleasure. It was a grey area spell that heavily leaned on intent. But more often than not it had ended up being cast on someone unawares to make them uncomfortable in class. As such it was typically viewed under the context of sexual harassment. Other than deciphering that the Dark Mark sigils were triggers for either a Crucio from the skull or a Voluptas from the snake, Severus didn't really understand the nature of his Mark. But after this experience and what Riddle had said Severus felt it expedient to rectify his reprehensible lack of knowledge as soon a possible.

Once Riddle had ascertained that Severus was collected and waiting further orders he continued giving him the rest of his assignment.

"For now I want Potter untouched. And forget that filthy mudblood wench she's being taken care of. Besides I'm sure we can find a pure blood witch that is more worthy of you, Severus." Riddle hissed with a lip curled in disgust. Severus bowed his head respectfully but wondered why Riddle was dismissing Lily all the sudden, and what he meant by saying that she was being taken care of. He certainly couldn't question it since he didn't want the Dark Lord putting any focus on his concern for her, but he found it odd and distressing for him to give up on his previous plan to use her for information inside the Order so easily. He'd expected he would at least want to bring her in to make an example of her. As a well-known and very talented muggle born she posed a very huge threat to the pure blood dogma that they tried to live by. After a moment's thought he conjectured that one of the others were probably assigned to deal with her, and resolved to add it to the information he had to collect. He was brought out of his thoughts when Riddle continued.

"I have another task for you. My sources inside the Order say that Dumbledore has received a disturbing prophecy about me. I want you to find out what Dumbledore knows, and what he plans on doing about it. This takes precedence over all other sources of information that I require." Severus nodded to the Riddle, who then waved a hand at him dismissively over his shoulder saying,

"Send in Lucius when you rejoin the others." Their conference officially ended, Severus turned on his heel and left the study.

_So he does know about the prophecy, somebody has turned it over in my place._ Severus mused darkly. He didn't allow himself to fret over this too much, since he'd planned for that eventuality. Severus felt confident that he could use distraction tactics to convince the Dark Lord to focus on the wrong target thereby keeping Lily and her son safe, but he would still have to ask Dumbledore to take them into deep hiding under Fidelis to be completely sure of her protection. However Severus was very curious about who had taken the news of the prophecy to the Dark Lord, and added it to the things that he'd search for when he rejoined the other Death Eaters.

* * *

As he entered the Drawing Room he scanned the room looking for Lucius. Regulus caught his eye from across the room and Severus gave him a slight shake of his head to tell him he wasn't ready to start working the room for information yet. Severus approached Lucius, grabbing his attention by placing a hand on his shoulder then jerking his head away from group of people he was conversing with.

"Excuse me." Lucius said and he left the group and followed Severus to a window overlooking the gardens. Severus faced the window and waited for him while Lucius grabbed a second tumbler of Fire Whiskey for Severus from a house elf wandering through the crowd with refreshments. Lucius joined him and handed Severus the glass with a small smirk.

"Severus you are looking a bit disheveled, my sister-in-law hasn't finally cornered you has she?" Lucius jested with him. Severus looked slightly confused at the question which caused Lucius to laugh at him mischievously.

"Surely you've noticed Bella's fascination with you the last few meetings since her initiation." He smiled as he took another sip of his drink.

"Mrs. Lestrange? Are you insinuating I would touch another man's wife, Lucius?" Severus replied with a dangerous tone. Lucius had obviously had too much to drink and continued with his playful teasing taking no note of the rising anger in his friend.

"Rudolfus doesn't mind as long as you let him watch." Lucius snorted, chuffed at his lewd joke. Severus raised an eye brow at his friend and took his drink from him.

"You've been asked to join the Dark Lord in his study." Severus informed him and immediately saw Lucius sober slightly, attempting to fight off the mind fuzzing effects of the alcohol while preening his appearance.

"Get your elf to bring you a sober-up; you don't want to go in there in this state Lucius." Lucius nodded in agreement and snapped his fingers. Moments later a house elf arrived bowing so low its nose scraped the floor.

"Worely bring me a Sober-Up." Lucius snapped. When the elf disappeared he leaned in covertly to Severus keeping his voice low

"What was his mood when you left him? He's been so volatile since he learned of the prophecy; he told me you would be tasked to get more information from Dumbledore for him. He's become completely obsessed with it. I've been trying to build the right contacts to gain access to the hall of Prophecy; he wants to know who else's has their name on it." Lucius told him agitatedly. Severus took in the information with a frown, when he hesitated to reply Lucius looked him in the eyes questioningly. Severus took advantage of the opportunity while Lucius was still inebriated to jump inside his foremind to see what he knew about the prophecy.

_Inside his mind Severus saw Lucius being informed by his house elf that a visitor wished to be allowed conference with the Dark Lord._

_"Who is it?" Lucius demanded._

_"Messier Potter sir, he tells Carmanger it is urgent." The elf replied_

_"Take the message to the Dark Lord, he is one of ours." Lucius told the elf._

_The second thought Severus grabbed on to showed Lucius receiving his orders from a very tired and agitated looking Riddle, ordering him to find a way to get the record of Prophecy from the Department of Mysteries_.

Their connection was broken when Worely returned and Lucius looked away. Severus then answered Lucius question trying to keep his rage that had risen from this information schooled.

"The Dark Lord seemed distressed as would be expected." He said tersely.

Lucius downed the potion and tossed the empty vial forcing the poor elf to dive to catch it. He placed a hand on Severus arm as he made to leave

"Thanks Severus. I was being serious before, watch out for Bella; she really has taken a liking to you." Lucius left him, walking with a regal gait from the Drawing Room. Severus turned and followed his path out of the room; a scowl marred his features as his anger leaked through his occlusion.

Severus caught Regulus attention and they started working through the room as planned gathering information from their fellow members. Surprisingly very few of the Death Eaters had any amount of Occlumency skill. But after an hour of working the room he'd managed to get enough information to know who was assigned each target and what tentative plans they had. The target list ended up nearly identical to what he and Hermione had already lined out.

But Severus's mind was only half on the task, caught up as he was in his angry thoughts of how he was going to deal with James Potter's betrayal. He became progressively more angry the longer he stewed over it and by the time he and Regulus had covered the entire group of Death Eaters, Severus was fuming and fighting off a splitting headache from being unused to using Legilimency for so long. Once each of the Marked had met privately with the Dark Lord for their assignments they were free to leave so the party had dwindled down to half it size by the time they'd finished collecting information.

Regulus came over to Severus as he made to leave approaching with a concerned frown.

"Do you have a moment Snape?" Regulus asked for the benefit of the few still within earshot.

"I'm afraid I've had enough socializing for one night. I'll be in touch Mr. Black." Severus told him tersely as he hurried to leave.

Now that it had his full attention, his anger directed at James was taking over and he decided on a course of action. It escaped his notice that he would never take this kind of action without careful planning first, not recognizing the influence of his Dark Mark enhancing his anger.

Regulus watched him go worriedly; he'd noticed that Severus seemed a bit off. He knew Severus occluded heavily during these meetings and he knew that while he was occluding he had strict control over all his emotions. To see his anger seeping through caused Regulus to wonder what he'd learned in his conference with the Dark Lord.

Regulus had not been assigned a task as the rest of the Death Eaters had since he was still working on his apprenticeship. For him and a few others, the meeting had been nothing more than an extended social call where drinks and camaraderie flowed freely, as those gathered flaunted their new success with getting the Portkey Registration Act passed. As he made his way to the floo to make his return trip, taking a series of stops in public houses and Inn's to reach Bulgaria, Regulus worried over whatever Severus had learned was so serious assuming that he'd go straight to Dumbledore to report.

* * *

Severus waited disillusioned in the shadows of an alleyway next to a seedy muggle pub in London. It was only a few blocks from the Flat where Remus would be locked away with the latest new werewolf recruits. He heard the crack of apparition when James arrived and he scoured the alleyway in the direction of the sound to find him. Severus had forged a note in Remus handwriting asking James to meet him at this Pub alone at one am. As suspected James arrived, alone and looked around for his supposed distressed friend. In his turning about James foot peeked out from under his invisibility cloak and Severus was able to guess where to throw the first spell.

Rage bubbled inside Severus and it took him great effort not to answer the dark call and Avada the scum on the spot and forego all information gathering attempts. Severus swooped out of the shadows, his own Death Eater cloak flapped with his sudden advancing movements, as he fired a silent Expelliarmus at a about the height of James chest. James must have heard him because he turned and barely managed to get a Protego up to deflect the spell. James's threw open his cloak getting it out of his way as he took up a defensive stance, pointing his wand in the direction of the offending spell.

"Show yourself Coward! Attack me face to face like a man!" James taunted. Severus growled and canceled his disillusionment. Then followed with two quick deflections as James pressed his advantage and attacked, flinging jets of blue and white magic at him as he shouted,

"Reducto! Sectumsempra!" Severus snapped when he heard his spells being cast at him.

"You dare use my own spell against me?" Severus said as he made a wide upward slash of his wand, silently throwing his signature spell back at James, as it was meant to be cast. He immediately felt the power and adrenaline rush from the spell's satisfied blood thirst, as it caught James high on his thigh causing copious amounts of blood to flow. He felt his Dark Mark activate and feed his anger just like it had in the study earlier, and feeling the onset of the snake sigil looming Severus quickly slammed his occlusion in place and shut it out forcing and himself to focus on his task.

James fell to one knee and before he could regain his footing Severus kick his wand out of his hand then followed up with a hard left hook to James's jaw. James was down on both knees and knocked off balance backwards. Severus loomed over him, grabbing him by the throat as he jammed him wand hard into James temple. James spit his mouthful of blood up into Severus' face, both mostly succeeded in showering himself with blood and spit as much as Severus.

Severus squeezed his throat cutting of his airway, causing James to cough and grab at the arm holding his throat.

"Give me a reason not to turn you in to another stain on the pavement, Potter." Severus spit at him in a dangerous whisper. James eyes were livid and filled with loathing as he stared up at his childhood rival. Severus relaxed his grip just enough to let him get a wheezing breath, and answer

"Snivellus, you're a few months too late if you're here to keep me away from Lily. She my wife now. She chose -" James choked as Severus tightened his grip cutting of his airway again. Rage twisted Severus's face as his magic coalesced heavy in the air around them, like an oppressive gravity making everything around James feel heavier than it was. James felt as if the air itself sought to crush him with its weight.

"Does she know that you betrayed her and everyone like her? That you carry information about the Order to the Dark Lord? Or did you force yourself on her like you did before with that imprint back in school?" Severus questioned him and watched as James expression became more and more panicked as he heard what Severus knew about him.

"How di - I'm not - Please don't take me to the Dark Lord, I beg you Snape!" James stuttered in his fear as he figured out how Snape could know of his loyalties.

"Do you realize you've signed the death orders of your own wife and unborn child? The Dark Lord isn't going to spare them just because you ask him to. I should kill you right now for putting her in danger!" James flinched and started shaking as he fought to control the anguish that was written plainly on his face.

"I didn't know. Please, believe me! I didn't know who it was about. I'm not going back to him, when I learned Lily was pregnant I turned my back on the Dark Lord. I swear! I'm supposed to bring her to him tomorrow but I'm not going to. I was going to hide us all away." James confessed. Severus snarled in rage and tore into James mind to find the truth.

_Inside James mind he found himself in the middle of a large Quidditch pitch with a section of the stadium wall that had brooms, gear, and quaffles arranged on shelves and mannequins. There was a long bench that had a large Blackboard on one side of it where the players could sit and draw up new tactics. The blackboard flashed like movie screen with moving images of the thoughts on his mind. James's consciousness stood cowering behind a mannequin in fear as Severus stalked toward him and the blackboard._

_"Please you have to help me hide her from him. I know you still love her Snape. You can't make me take her to him, you wouldn't." James begged desperately. He made no move to stop Severus from going through his memories and even pointed out to him everything he'd done, in an attempt to convince Severus of his remorse and changed perspective. Severus saw how the news of Lily's pregnancy and her due date coinciding with the prophecy affected him and the immediate change of heart that he experienced. As much as he wished to he couldn't deny the unmistakable echoes of genuine remorse, fear, and desperation James felt or his desire to protect Lily and their child. As much as he still wanted to give in to his building rage and destroy James on the spot, he saw that James was willing to do anything to protect them and he knew that he couldn't take that small bit of protection away from Lily when he could provide none better on his own. _

_Lily having sensed James's distressed emotions through their bond, called out to James and Severus heard her voice as it echoed inside his mind._

_"James? Where are you, is everything alright with Remus?" She called out concernedly. Severus turned on James and gave him a warning glare; James gulped and called out shakily._

_"It's fine Lily. I'll be home soon." He looked to Severus from where he sat on the bench dejectedly, waiting for judgment._

_"Please Severus, I know you don't care for me, but you can see that Lily and I have a soul bond. If you turn me over to the Dark Lord she'll know I'm in danger and she be at my side in a heartbeat. Are you ready to turn her over to them? I'm sure you already know they've had her once and what they did to her then." James face darkened with anger as he remembered what Lily had been put through when she was captured and wondered if Snape had been involved. He glared at him suspiciously._

_"You were there that night!" James stood up from the bench as he figured it out and accused him. Severus stepped forward and got in his face._

_"I did everything in my power to get out her out alive and safe, and you've gone and practically offered her up on a platter to Dark Lord. Every effort I've gone through to keep her from harm you've ruined. You worthless swine! You don't deserve her!" Severus spat at him. James eyes widened in shocked understanding,_

_"It was you! You forced a bond on Lily that night! But - she says you died? You're still bonded to her aren't you?" James yelled at him his face becoming green with disgust at the notion, looking as if he would attack Severus on the spot. Severus glared back at him wanting nothing more than to throttle him but knowing he would not want to touch him in their current state._

_"I'm not bonded to her, ours was broken when she bonded to you, so you can keep your dinner." Severus spit at him. "I let her believe I was dead because unlike you I could occlude my connection to her. I did it so that she would move on I did it knowing she would turn to you, the person I loathe most in this world. But I did whatever it took to keep her safe, and to minimize her trauma." James stood in shock as he absorbed the information and its implications. He slumped sadly to the bench as he realized just how inferior he really was to his lifelong enemy._

_"I don't deserve her Snape. You are right. I've been selfish and did everything I could to get what I wanted. She loved you." Severus turned away from him angrily, unable to look at him, confused as to what to do with James. _

_"Please! If you still care for her at all, please, help me keep her safe. Don't turn me in to the Dark Lord!" James begged in a whisper._

Severus left his mind and stood still holding him viciously by the throat, James glasses were askew and he had tears streaming down his face as his eyes pleaded with Severus for mercy.

"Please!" James choked. Severus shoved him hard, causing James to fall against the wall behind him as Severus released him.

"If anything happens to her, you'd better already be dead. Or you I will rip your heart from your chest while it is still beating to you understand me? Swear it!" Severus demanded.

"I swear by my wand and my life that I will keep Lily and our child safe, and I swear by my wand I will fight against the Dark Lord till my last breath." James declared his voice shaky but filled with firm conviction and determination. Severus held his wand on James for a little longer as he tried to figure out how to proceed.

"I can't let you keep knowledge of my treason. I will not allow your fragile mind to put me in danger. When I let you leave here you will not remember me or any of this but you will go straight home and place your family under the strongest Fidelis you can cast, better yet get Dumbledore to cast it for you. But you will remember that someone knows of your treachery and when the time comes I will tell them exactly who you are. You will pay for your mistakes, for the pain you have caused." Severus told him. James nodded in agreement,

"It's what I deserve, thank you Snape. I will keep her safe, I swear!" Severus moved his wand to James leg and chanted once,

"Vulnera Sanentur ." This caused the blood to stop flowing so quickly from the wound but did nothing to heal him completely of the deep gaping wound. Then he moved his wand back to James temple, ignoring the confused expression on his face as he cast,

"Obliviate."

Before James could come out of the haze of the spell Severus disillusioned himself and stepped away. James came around and he ran his hand through his hair in distress then burst into sobs bending over clutching the ground front of him as he tried to regain his composure. After a minute of two he dried his eyes and took a couple deep calming breaths as he struggled to stand and then apparated away.

Once he'd gone Severus took to the skies in raven form, opting to use the cool night air to clear his mind as he tried to figure out what he was going to do. Dumbledore needed to know how important it was to keep the Potters and the Longbottoms safe, now that they were sure that Riddle knew of the prophecy. Severus tried to weigh the options before him. He didn't see a way to get around telling Dumbledore exactly how the prophecy got out, and he was banking on the old man's unfailing favoritism to kick in and give James a pass once again for his mistakes.

By the time Severus made it to Spinners End his rage and hate had been carefully pushed away behind his occlusions once more and were replaced by the compassion he felt for James situation. He knew that in the other time their roles had been reversed and he made that same mistake. He'd condemned the person he loved to die because of his actions and choices when he'd heard the prophecy. He understood exactly what James felt now, the horror at his actions and self-hate were clear enough to him. Severus let his sympathy take over, and as he did he started to feel an aching pain spreading through his arm from his Dark Mark. Gritting his teeth to push past it he stumbled into the house then collapsed onto the sofa as he undid the buttons on his left sleeve and pulled it back to reveal the cursed mark.

The black demon skull of the Mark glared back at him its mouth flapping in a silent mocking laugh, the bone deep ache slowly spread through his whole body as Severus tried to figure out what was wrong. He remembered the snake sigil activating when he landed the Sectumsepra on James and how he'd had to force it behind his occlusions. He thought back to what Riddle had said and what had happened in the study earlier that night, realizing that the Dark Lord had changed his Mark somehow as his words echoed in his mind.

_"The call of true power cannot be ignored, Severus. It will continue to swell in your blood until you are forced to answer it."_

_But what does that mean?_ Severus wondered as he ground his teeth as the pain increased. He stumbled down to his lab and rifled through his potions stores till his found a powerful painkiller and downed it a quick gulp. In less than a minute the aching pain receded as the potion took hold. One thing he was sure of was that he needed to figure out what was going on with his Dark Mark, and hopefully before the potion wore off. But all of that would have to wait until after he'd met with Dumbledore, and they took steps to ensure the safety of the Potters and the Longbottoms.

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A/N#2:

As always thank you all for your reviews! I'll try to catch up in replies and try to answer any and all questions I can. You all are the best!

p.s. Apparently my uses of apostrophes are epic fail. I could agonize over them as I double check each and every one, but I'd prefer to write the chapters and provide frequent updates for you guys. If anyone finds the errors that I miss in my own proofreading to be unbearable, please point out what you find individually and specifically so I can change them. Or you could always offer your own mad Beta skillz. Just saying. If your going to criticize at least provide the solution to correct it. I loathe whiners. My five year old fills my entire quota of patience for whining.


	27. Consequences of Betrayal (7,706)

A/N: I know, I'm very overdue to post. I promise it's just taking extra care to get these nice and polished. Once again **Kraco** has proved to be an amazing unofficial beta and helped to add a delicious amount of action and spice to the story. To anyone who I have not answered questions you've posted in your reviews my silence means that I really can't answer them. You will have to wait an see. Since it's been taking me so long to whip these chapters into shape I have taken a step back from responding to all the reviews. They are still much appreciated I love them all! They keep me motivated when I start doing too much /facedesk.

I forget if I have announced the 400th Review, so without further ado; Congratulations to Bluefirefly5! She has requested a one-shot based on a fan art picture. I'll be sure to post an update inside the A/N: when I finish and post the 300th and the 400th Review rewards.

Mood Music: 'Running Up That Hill' by Placebo

Content Warning: Swearing

Disclaimer: universe and characters all belong to Jo Rowling, I'm just playing with her toys. I promise to put them back when I'm done. No moneys! **ALWAYS SSHG**

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**Chapter 26: Consequences of Betrayal**

Severus didn't bother considering what time it was before he activated the floo and called out for the Headmasters quarters then threw a nondescript note into the green flames. In the off-chance Dumbledore wasn't alone the note would not be able to give away anything about who was trying to contact him.

Almost instantly Albus responded calling back through the open connection for Severus to come through.

"Severus? What's happened?" Dumbledore ask when he saw the grim expression on his face. Before Severus could answer Dumbledore who was holding the back of a cushioned chair near the fireplace beckoned him to sit.

"Here sit down my boy; you look a fright to behold. Licorice Snaps?" He said grabbing the bowl from his coffee table and held it out to Severus. Severus shook his head distractedly then sat in the chair opposite to the one Dumbledore moved to occupy. Severus couldn't figure out where to begin there was so much he had to go over with him. He leaned heavily on his knees and ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his face in an attempt to clear his thoughts.

Dumbledore saw his bloodied knuckles of his left hand and reached out to grab Severus hand asking,

"Do you require healing? Were you injured." Dumbledore prodded gently. When Dumbledore's finger grazed Severus's skin, Severus flinched violently and sat back in his chair out of the Headmaster's reach. The repressed effect of Voluptas curse from his Dark Mark was still hanging at bay, and the outside stimuli against his skin sent a jolt like electricity through Severus causing a cascading wave of tingling heat to wash over him. The pain potion wouldn't do anything for the effects of the Voluptas since it didn't cause any pain; and while his occlumency could hold it off, it the effects seemed to intensify the longer it was delayed fulfillment.

"Please, don't touch me just now." Severus warned Dumbledore and then looked at his hand just noticing the busted knuckles now that Dumbledore had pointed them out.

"What has Tom done to you Severus?" The old wizard asked warily as he sat back and observed Severus, noticing the slight tremor in the younger wizard's hands.

"We'll get to that later. There are things that are more pressing and you are not going to like them. It's best they are dealt with first." Severus explained.

"As you wish." Dumbledore nodded, but he looked perturbed at the news and waited for Severus to continue. Taking note of the subtle but strange body language the Severus displayed; unconsciously running the tip of his thumb across his other fingers as he spoke, or occasionally reaching up to adjust his collar or sleeve as if the clothes didn't rest right against his skin.

"The Dark Lord's targets are as you would expect. He's going after all the people who pose the biggest threat to his plan to take over the Ministry." Severus became thoughtful for a moment leaning on the arm of his chair his expression became distant as he considered Riddle's motives and what he knew of him.

"I don't think he really believes in the pure blood supremacy platform that he pushes. It's completely counter to his own belief that he is superior to everyone around him, and being a half blood." Severus explained.

"Yes, I've long been aware of his manipulation of the Pureblood community, people who are in a unique position of power and wealth to use as stepping-stones toward his notion of true power. He preys on all their greatest fears." Dumbledore answered with a curious expression, wondering where Severus was going with the thought.

"His targets are solely people who stand directly in his path. Edgar Bones as his political opponent, prominent people who have championed against him openly; Moody, the Prewitt twins, the Longbottoms, and Arthur Weasly. They are all targeted for their actions in MLE, and the raids against suspected Death Eater purebloods who have complained to the Dark Lord. He has only chosen two muggleborns to target, to use merely as examples for the rest of the populace. He has chosen the best, brightest, and most popular of the current generation; Lily Evans and Benjy Fenwick. But rather than just going for ruthlessness and murdering them, first he tries to sway them to his cause, reluctant to waste their power. Everything he does is for power." Severus mused aloud while he stared at his left arm quizzically.

"Indeed it is Severus. Do you know how and when these people will be targeted?" Dumbledore humored the younger wizard's musings but attempted to refocus their discussion.

"Nothing exact yet as the Death Eaters have just barely been given their assignments. Though I suspect that Mr. Bones will be the first target as the election is nearly upon us and he needs to be removed for the Dark Lord to be sure of his placement as Minister. The rest of them seem to be waiting for the moment of opportunity. They are being ordered to try to take down their targets quietly, without drawing the public eye."

"Very well, I will be sure to take measures to ensure their safety." Dumbledore stood from his chair to dismiss Severus, and was surprised when Severus questioned him.

"What efforts are being taken to make sure of the safety of the Potters and the Longbottoms?"

"You can't honestly expect me to trust you with that kind of information, given your situation, to risk having it plucked right from your mind? I cannot take that kind of gamble with their lives." Dumbledore admonished Severus, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Why do you want to know about them particularly?"

"Because you have a spy in your midst who has put them in grave danger; the Dark Lord has been told the prophecy." Severus told him expecting a moment of shock and disbelief in the headmaster's expression. Instead a suspicious glare was directed at Severus as the elderly wizard stood and clutched the back of the chair he'd vacated.

"You are the only spy in our ranks, how is it that you know of the prophecy?" He demanded.

"According to the journal the last time it was me that put them in danger. But I didn't tell the Dark Lord the prophecy in this time since, this time, I didn't hear it. That was the reason my former defected to your cause, out of remorse for putting Lily in danger and wanting to protect her." Severus watched from his chair as the old wizard paced the sitting room in agitation.

"So then you told the Dark Lord the prophecy given the last time, can you be so sure it's the same then as the one now; that time hasn't been altered completely? What would be the point in telling him?" Dumbledore questioned. Severus lost his patience in trying to gently lead him to deduce who could have overheard the prophecy that morning.

"I didn't tell him! It was my plan to keep him oblivious to it entirely. I'd prefer to stop his political progress with a different distraction that wouldn't put Lily in harm's way. Think old man! Who else beside me could have told him the prophecy? I was not there the morning you heard it, who else was?" Severus snapped at him. Dumbledore stopped pacing and turned a hard glare on Severus, indignant at his veiled accusations.

"It's not possible. Aberforth would never betray the Order." He dismissed.

"Aberforth maybe, but can you really claim to know the motives of that arrogant self-centered swine? Your perfect little golden boy!" Severus sneered at him. "What do you know of him other than the details of his sexual exploits? Nothing! Had you not been so blindly trusting of your precious and infallible Gryffindors and dug a little deeper into his mind, you would have seen his treachery. He's played you old man, he betrayed us all." Dumbledore rounded on him for his scathing observations. Angrily drawing up to his full height and shedding the doddering old man act, displaying the power that he could command by the magical energy that sizzled in the air.

"James wasn't there. Where is your proof? Or is this just you trying to discredit him because of your lifelong rivalry?" The angry old wizard accused.

"See for yourself." Severus waved his hand at his temple in welcome to Dumbledore. With a bored and cynical expression on his face, he waited for old wizard to come take the proof he didn't want to see. Dumbledore grumbled something under his breath, but took the invitation and delved in to Severus's mind with more force than necessary.

He appeared inside Severus's mind on the same small rocky island Severus had brought Riddle to, in the middle of the endless expanse of frigid oceanic occlusions. Dumbledore looked around at the scenery with confusion and mistrust plainly written on his face. He approached the water's edge and saw the images that Severus was offering to him flash and dance on its surface. Severus painstakingly showed him everything he had taken from James mind.

Dumbledore saw his favored student still obviously young enough to be in school, kneel before the Dark Lord. He saw James shake hands while laughing with three masked Death Eaters after leading the muggle police on a chase. He watched in disbelief as he saw James sneak up to the room where he'd interviewed Trelawney and as he overheard the prophecy. Dumbledore shook his head in denial when he saw James immediately take the news to the Dark Lord and beg him for time to complete his task.

Dumbledore stood rigidly at the water's edge, clearly extremely angry by the vision of this cutting betrayal. If Severus admitted it to himself, he gained some sort of justified satisfaction from the pained, pale expression of the headmaster's disappointment when he turned to look back at him.

"This is an impressive display of your skill in occlumency, but it only serves to increase my disbelief and suspicion of you. Show me everything; show me what you still hide from me Severus. Because I find no matter which of the truths I choose to accept before me, either way, I have been far too trusting." Dumbledore demanded turning back to the images that tormented him, keeping his eyes firmly on the images that were mirrored on the water's surface.

"I have already told you the reasons for my actions and loyalty. With knowing those and my skill in occlumency you have no reason to believe that I'm the traitor here. Or are my reasons suddenly not good enough for you?" Severus answered him and he quickly pushed his secrets into deeper hiding just to be safe.

Dumbledore surprised Severus when he whirled on him and trained his corporeal wand on Severus.

"I will correct my serious lack of judgment. You have shown me at the very least that I cannot go on trusting as I have done. If you'll not cooperate willingly Severus, I am prepared take what I ask for forcibly." Dumbledore warned him. Severus couldn't suppress the deep sardonic laugh that welled up in him at the Headmasters words; he laughed and shook his head at the old man before he replied with derision.

"You think that even you can have any control over me in here, inside my Praesum? Look around you old fool, this is my reality. I can make and unmake it with a single thought. You will find nothing if I don't want you too." Severus mocked him, believing that Dumbledore was bluffing trying to trick him into giving in easily by threatening him.

_He does not know the true power of the Praesum._ Severus thought to himself.

Dumbledore gave him a regretful look and then waved his wand in a complicated flourish and aimed it back at the Iter from where he'd entered Severus's mind. Red hot chains shot out of the connection between their two minds, and bound themselves tightly around Severus before he had a chance to realize what Dumbledore had done.

"There are ways around even that, dear boy." Dumbledore turned from him not wanting to see the anger, hurt, and betrayal on Severus face as he proceeded to force the young wizards mind to reveal to him all his secrets.

As the chains wrapped around him, they pulled Severus off his feet and he landed hard on his chest and was dragged backwards. He glared in disbelief and anger as he struggled against the bindings. They were not bindings conjured inside his own mind and thus he had no control over them. The enchanted Incarcerous chains seared into his corporeal form and seemed to also bind his magic within him, making him unable to call up his power to fight them off. Severus watched in horror as his occlusions started to melt away leaving only his natural subconscious landscape, as the hot chains yanked him back through the Iter. He was thrown bound in to utter darkness, trapped and imprisoned inside the Headmasters mind, unable to call up his magical power or reach out to control his subconscious.

Without Severus's consciousness governing his mind and maintaining his defenses, they dropped completely, leaving Severus mind bare for Dumbledore to scrutinize. He became a madman at being so laid bare and completely cut off from his mind, thrashing against his bonds as his rage consumed him at Dumbledore's invasion of his privacy. He fought and struggled for a few moments, desperate to get back to his mind and stop the old man, to fly free of his cage. It was then that Severus remembered what he'd discovered of the Praesum, of the new form he'd uncovered.

Severus focused all his ferocity and power that was bound inside him and forced his body into the gaseous form he'd discovered. The chains fell through his insubstantial form unable to hold him in his new state. As soon as he'd shed the chains his connection to his subconscious mind came back and without hesitation he summoned up his defenses as he flew back through the Iter into his mind.

The black tsunami of his occlusion rose up and crashed over Severus mind, sweeping Dumbledore away and catching him by surprise. Dumbledore was shocked that Severus had escaped from the mind prison he'd put him in, as he tried to combat the frigid waters that swept him away from Severus's memory constructs. He was thrown and tossed about the water's surface as it rose higher and higher, and the memories that Severus wanted hidden sunk deeper into their depths.

Dumbledore spied the angry black cloud that hovered over the waters above him as they churned and boiled with his uncontrolled and rampant emotions. Severus's form solidified into his corporeal body and he stalked the water's surface toward Dumbledore. His eyes were cold hard chips of obsidian and his face twisted in sneering hate as he approached. With each step the water's surface froze under his feet and spread out ward stilling the frothing undulating waves of inky darkness. Dumbledore attempted to retreat through the Iter but was too late as the water froze around him. He was trapped from the shoulders down in the numbingly cold ice that he was sure was harder than diamonds.

Severus was completely taken over by the anger enhanced by his mark. He forced the old man from his secrets and pushed them back, deep into hiding, throwing all his power into the strength of his defenses. He knew not what information Dumbledore had managed to take from him but he cared little what it was, he felt only his rage and the cut of this betrayal. He let it rule him as he stalked menacingly toward the offender.

"You really are his son?" Dumbledore asked in disbelief as he looked at Severus and saw him in a much more terrifying light. His words snapped the small shred of control Severus had and he gave into the dark call at last; releasing his built up fury in one powerful cast.

"Crucio!" Severus felt the power as it rose out of him with a giggling glee and attacked the venerable Headmaster who was unable to resist trapped as he was.

For a few blissful moments Severus reveled in the power that flowed through him when he released his wrath and answered the dark call. But almost as soon as he cast the spell he felt searing warmth pierce him straight through the center of his chest and then slowly spread and push aside his anger. It took great effort but he canceled the spell and collapsed to his knees wrapping his arms around himself in a desperate attempt to physically contain the uncontrolled seething power. He grabbed on to the warmth glowing within him, and tried to use it as his anchor to help him control the frenzy that had overtaken him.

_Severus, it is ok. I will be your anchor. Fight it Severus. Don't let the darkness overtake you. Use me as your guide._ Hermione's voice spoke to his soul.

Severus leaned forward and placed his forehead on the glassy surface of the frozen waters. He sobbed in frustration as he struggled, pounding his fist into the ice as fought for control, leaving a shattering pattern of spidery cracks on its surface. The warring emotions tore at him, but slowly he was strengthened by the love and protection that Hermione was sending him through their bond. Her love washed over him and he fed it, strengthening it with the remembrance of the love Snape had for her. He let his mind focus on the expression of their love the few moments of stolen bliss they shared when they bound their souls in another time. Hermione sent the full strength of her emotions and helped him to remember what that shard of his elders' soul would never be able to forget. The warmth suffused his whole body and enveloped his rage helping him to contain and hold it in.

Then the snake sigil and after-effects of answering the dark call and using a Crucio tried to take hold and Severus began to panic when he felt the sickening tingling pleasure rise. Hermione spoke to him again.

_Push it away. You are in control. Together we'll fight this darkness. I'll be here for you._ Her voice came to him soothingly.

Severus took gulping breaths and he tried to slow his panting and become calm. Slowly he pushed the tingling heat away and forced calm in his mind. Once he'd regained his composure he stood and reached out a hand to Dumbledore, offering to help pull him from the frozen prison of the ocean as the water around them began to thaw in time with his receding ire.

Dumbledore wiggled his arms from of the now slushy waters but didn't accept the hand the Severus was offering him, instead looking at him as if he had lost all his senses. Severus answered the unasked question, his voice calm and his face serene.

"I am in control now. You want to trust me, what better way to know my mind than to be able to know my true emotions?" Severus stretched his hand out further and Dumbledore reluctantly took hold, grasping his arm above his wrist. He let Severus pull him out of the slush as the black stone island slowly rose from the depths to allow him to stand before the young man he'd never before taken a moment to try to understand.

Their imprinting wasn't strong, but it was enough that they could understand each other and they could use that understanding to build trust in each other. Dumbledore was surprised at the turmoil that Severus was going through, the warring of his emotions. He could feel the suppressed fury and the feelings of satisfaction from answering the call of the Dark Arts pressing against his senses. But what he felt most was his complete devotion to a love the warmed him as it held the dark call in check. He could feel the strength of the connection he shared with the woman bound to the journal. He felt the peace and comfort she sent to strengthen him. Dumbledore was deeply moved by the purity of that connection, especially held in such stark contrast to the darkness that pressed in on him.

"I will never doubt you again Severus." Dumbledore said and his remorse was plain in his tone. Everything he had seen of this young man's life made his heart ache for the treatment he'd received at his own hand. He'd been so blinded by his prejudice. But Dumbledore had seen the changes in him, made possible by the single act of those two souls who sought to give him a second chance. He understood and really saw their guiding hands, like those of fate, that were pushing Severus forward on his path and Dumbledore was extremely grateful for the sacrifices made by those two souls.

"You will, and you should. We cannot afford to give blind faith. We are fallible. But with this imprint, you'd need only touch me. Do not attempt to invade my privacy again." Severus warned him. They released the forearm grip they hand on each other and Dumbledore retreated from Severus mind. Severus lingered a moment longer behind his occlusions.

_Thank you Hermione._ He called out to her and he felt her answering affection wash over him like a gentle caress across his cheek.

Stepping outside his occlusions Severus slumped heavily into the chair where he sat and tried to massage the reverberant pain in his forehead from their fight.

"Potter is likely going to ask you to be their secret keeper. All I want is for Lily to be kept safe; it's all I've ever wanted. I've given up on my misguided attempts to keep her a part of my life. Please just keep her safe." Severus said resignedly.

"I will do everything I can." Dumbledore agreed.

Once and for all it felt as if they were finally forming a bond of trust that would last, as Dumbledore now had more than enough information on why Severus would forever be loyal to the destruction of the Dark Lord. Dumbledore was intimately aware of everything that Severus had sacrificed and suffered, and even felt the staggering strength of his devotion to the woman from his Journal. A woman he was now completely sure was not Lily.

Dumbledore gently coaxed him into conversation once more and they discussed Severus plan to distract the Dark Lord while at the same time keeping the Longbottoms safe from their connection to the prophecy.

"They need to be under Fidelis as well." Dumbledore postulated. Severus disagreed and explained.

"Yes that would keep them safe, but they could be just as safe and more useful here inside Hogwarts, tauntingly in plain sight, but still completely out of his reach. He'd have to outright attack the school and reveal his motives to the whole wizarding world to come after them. His inability to act will infuriate him." Severus explained.

"So you suggest I hire them?" Dumbledore sat back stroking him beard in thought. "That might just work. I can feasibly put either of them as D.A.D.A or both and let them split the classes allowing one of them time to be with their infant, once he is born. It's going to cause quite a stir among the governors to have young parents as professors." Dumbledore chuckled at this thought.

"I'll have to convince Slughorn to retire so that I can take over his post, once you've announced them as the next Defense teachers. You will end up with three very young professors for the first time in history." Severus agreed with him.

As they wrapped up the discussion and Severus made to leave, Dumbledore held out his hand to shake Severus's, but then remembered him asking not to be touched and quickly withdrew his hand before Severus could notice. He connected this information with what he'd seen of Severus's secrets, and decided to test and see if Severus would tell him more on his own.

"Are you all right then? Any injuries that I can attend to?"

Severus tried to appear unphased but Dumbledore caught the slight movement he made to hide his arm and straighten his left cuff.

"Only a few split knuckles nothing I can't manage." Severus dismissed. Dumbledore left it alone but still planned to keep an eye on him and see what more he could learn about his mark, worried what kind of twisted evil Riddle had forced onto his own son.

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James apparated to Astley Street of a quiet suburb in Birmingham, at the end of the cul-de-sac in front of him appeared small slightly aged and ill cared for house. It wasn't secret kept, it only had the regular muggle repelling charms and a notice-me-not wards in place. He figured Sirius and Peter would likely still be awake even given it was a couple of hours past midnight. He stumbled up the small drive and had to grab the small fence railing to regain his balance and take the weight off his injured leg. Having tripped the visitor alarm both Sirius and Peter pulled back the curtains of the downstairs front room windows to peer out at who was there. Upon seeing James, Sirius came bursting from the house.

"Prongs what the deuce has happened to you?" Sirius came over and gave his friend his shoulder to help him walk. Peter caught up and saw the gash on James leg and winced then looked around nervously for danger that might have followed him.

"Come on into the garage, m-mothers asleep." Peter told them and he led them to the side door of the small garage on the left side of the house. The garage was filled with dusty ratty old boxes that were piled around the edges leaving only a small space in the center. Peter had set up a few dusty old chairs where the three friends would retreat when they were there.

"Worm, you got any Dittany?" James asked Peter who nodded and went into the house after it. Sirius looked after Peter then back at James then leaned in covertly.

"Did you go to the Dark Lord tonight?" Sirius asked him.

"No I told you, I'm not going back to him. I'm not going to put Lily and our child's fate in that mad man's hands. We were stupid Sirius. We never should have joined with him." James said vehemently.

"Whoa easy mate I wasn't disagreeing. You showed up all beat up on the night before your deadline I thought maybe you'd had second thoughts." Sirius told him, looking him up and down and taking in his disheveled state, tear-stained eyes, and gashed cheek.

"What happened to you anyway, if it wasn't him?" He asked. James scrubbed his hand down his face, removing his bent glasses. His hand brushed his cheek and he winced at the cut there and knew it was going to turn into a nasty bruise.

"Someone found out about us from the Order, but whoever it was wiped my memory of him. I remember he made me swear to keep Lily and the baby safe, and that someday when it's all over he was going to tell everyone what I've done." James was lost for a moment in his remorse and cried unabashedly. Peter returned and Sirius took the Dittany from him and took care of the deep gash in James's thigh. James pulled himself together and then once he was healed he got straight to business.

"I'm taking Lily in to hiding, I'm not returning to the Dark Lord. As my actions are liable to affect you both I wanted to tell you now so that you could go into hiding as well." James explained to them, and Peter looked like death he'd gone so pale.

"W-what are we supposed to do? Won't he come after us?" Peter stuttered nervously. Sirius growled at Peter for being such a coward and then spoke up.

"Perhaps it would be best if you Obliviated us James. We can't give you away to the Dark Lord or Dumbledore if we don't know anything." Peter squeaked in fear and James and Sirius exchanged heavy looks.

"You don't know what it would mean to me if you would both do that. Please I will do anything to keep Lily and the baby safe!' James pleaded, looking at both his friends. Sirius smiled broadly and clapped James on the shoulder

"Of course you will you are crazy about her we get it. Becoming a father changes a man. I wouldn't be much of a godfather if I wasn't just as willing as you to lay down my life for him." Sirius affirmed fervently. Peter though seemed to be having an anxiety attack.

"He'll kill us! We can't He'll kill us!" Peter exclaimed breathing heavily as he tried to make his two friends see sense but unable to make the words form properly.

"Relax worm, we'll put your Mum's house under the Fidelis, then we can take your memory and you will never have to even worry about it because you won't remember." Sirius told him rolling his eyes at the small man's antics.

"No, I won't do it!" Peter stood up and made for his wand but James and Sirius were faster Sirius tackled him and held him on his back on the ground with a wand at his throat.

"P-please! He'll find us and then he will kill us. Just turn her in to him, ask for his mercy." Peter begged his friends James came over and kneeled beside him.

"It's ok Peter, you'll forget and you won't have to be scared anymore." James covered his friend's eyes and then pressed his wand to his temple.

"Obliviate." The spell took a minute or two to complete as it when through his mind and erased every memory he had of them ever being loyal to the Dark Lord, leaving behind only memories of them speaking out against Voldemort and hanging around Headquarters. Sirius got up off of him and guided him back to his chair while the fog of the spell receded slowly from his eyes. Sirius stood in front of James, and the latter grabbed his friend's shoulder gripping him tightly trying to convey his gratitude but unable to find the words. Sirius mirrored the action then picked up James wand hand and pointed the wand at his own temple encouragingly.

"I know mate. See you on the other side." Sirius grinned wolfishly at him. James nodded and then took a deep breath.

"Obliviate."

James left after spending a few more minutes explaining to them it would be best if they put the house under Fidelis and explaining to them they were all in danger, Peter insisted that James be his secret keeper and they spent a few minutes getting the charm in place. Peter's hand shook as he tried to cast the spell, but once he finally managed to get the spell right James told them he had to go. He returned to his own home that was a few houses up the street from where his parents lived, and quietly slipped inside so that he wouldn't wake Lily. He took a quick shower before he went and sat on Lily's side of their bed and gently woke her.

"Hey." Lily said as she woke up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Is everything OK with Remus?" She asked then she saw the darkening bruise and cut on his cheek and sat up and caressed his cheek with concern.

"What happened?" She asked.

"Oh it's nothing, a little bar fight broke out at the pub we met at, we got caught in the crossfire on our way out." James lied smoothly. Then he slid his hand across her stomach. It was mostly flat this early in her pregnancy but he could still imagine the life that was growing inside and his heart ached to think of the danger he had put her and the baby in. With a sad frown on his face he said to her quietly,

"Listen, I want us to move into hiding under Fidelis and not come out. It's getting dangerous out there and I don't' want anything to happen to you or the baby. So I want you to promise me that you won't ever leave the house till it's completely safe." James told her.

Lily frowned back at him in disbelief, "James that could be years! We can't live in hiding forever; you can't raise a child that way. I'm willing to give up my education for a time to stay safe, but we can't spend his entire life in hiding." Lily protested she got out of bed and moved to cover her shoulders with a bathrobe, tying it firmly about the waist. James twisted where he sat and followed her movements.

"I'm not saying it will be forever, the Order is working on bring the Dark Lord down. And we can still go to headquarters occasionally to visit and get out for a bit just not very often. We need to stay in hiding. Please Lily!" He pleaded and reached out for her hands. Lily grabbed onto his hands and stood in front of him thinking before she finally nodded her agreement and James wrapped his arms around her center, holding her fiercely to him. He whispered quietly in to her stomach as a few tears fell on to her fluffy robe.

"I promise I'll protect you."

A few days later James was granted his request to see the Headmaster. He had been unable to get in touch with him but then finally managed to get Moody to take him a note. At the appointed time he apparated to Headquarters and waited in the gardens as Dumbledore requested. When he arrived James immediately knew by his expression that Dumbledore knew of his betrayal. The Headmaster was cold and distant to James as he took a seat next to him on the bench in Prewitt's large garden.

His heart pounded in his chest as he tried to think of what to say to the powerful wizard beside him who could ruin him with a single word. He was relieved of the need to speak when Dumbledore spoke for him.

"If you are here to ask me to be your secret keeper, I accept. But for my silence on this matter I require an unbreakable vow of your complete and unwavering loyalty to myself, the Order and your wife and child. I will not trust you with anything less. If you do not agree I will inform the members of the Order, and your wife of your betrayal straight away and they will convene to determine your fate." Dumbledore outlined for him in a cold voice. James shuddered a little in his fear and nodded staring straight ahead of them like the Headmaster did.

"I'll do it." James said in a croaked whisper, he cleared his throat and tried to add strength to his voice.

"I'm sorry ab-"

"I care not for nor do I require your apology. Hence forth you are only included in the protections offered by the Order to keep you from causing any harm to the innocents that we protect, your wife and your child are my only concern. Moody will be waiting for us in the study and will be our bonder." Dumbledore interrupted him then stood and proceeded James in to the house. His disappointment with James was plainly evident and James felt the sting of his cutting coldness toward him.

Moody performed the bonding all the while eyeing the Headmaster for his cold behavior and James his contriteness. He curious about what was going on between the leader of the Order and his most favored student and why he was requiring such a strict and binding oath from him. His paranoid nature filed it away for future reference.

* * *

Severus requested Slughorn to meet him for drinks at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmede near the end of the month. When the professor arrived he was all smiles and jovial gestures.

"Ah young Master Snape! My you certainly have turned out to be a talented man. I've heard many great things of your apprenticeship with Master Aulus, and some of them were not even potions developments! Very impressive, you will go far I'm sure. Just remember not to forget your favorite teacher." Slughorn leaned across the table and gave him an exaggerated wink. Severus kept his expression completely neutral.

"Indeed." He said and he let the word hang in the air as he stared the portly professor down long enough to make him uncomfortable under the gaze.

"Severus?" Slughorn prompted him with a nervous quiver in his voice.

"Where do your loyalties stand professor? I seem to remember you at a gathering at Malfoy Manor. You remember the one?" Severus asked him letting his voice slide over the words with his dangerous silken drawl.

"I don't know what you mean my boy; I go to lots of those types of functions. I like to network with powerful people, varied connections are always worth having." Slughorn evaded him nervously. Severus leaned forward to speak to Slughorn covertly, holding his eyes on the older man's gaze.

"I heard rumor that your continued presence at Hogwarts is drawing ire; that it clearly shows where your loyalty is. I fear that you may not be safe if you continued in your position as professor. However," Severus paused dramatically and leaned back and looked around them before flipping his hair behind his shoulder.

"As you say, you are my favorite teacher and I couldn't allow such information to slip by without giving you fair warning." Severus said while flashing him a brief false smile, a mere curl of the side of his mouth if you could call it a smile.

"Thank you, I appreciate your concern." Slughorn paled and sat in silence. Severus continued a moment later.

"You know I think I have the solution for you." He said excitedly and then waited for Slughorn to bite.

"Do you? I'm not so sure it can be easily solved." Slughorn bemoaned.

"Yes. I am, as you remember, no longer required find a profession since I received my inheritance. However I find that I'm quite bored with my tinkering and I've been a master less than a month. No you see, you could retire." Slughorn's eyes lit up as he followed Severus train of thought, but Severus continued.

"Yes, if you retired I could offer my services in your place. For sure you are a bit young for retirement, but I'm sure that someone like yourself with an eye for all things fine could find a suitable occupation of your time." Severus pandered to him.

"Indeed I could Severus." Slughorn chuckled.

"You would be doing me a great favor in taking the position, but I could teach you my methods for the rest of this year. Are you sure teaching is what you want to do?"

"I believe it's my destiny." Severus said wryly.

Slughorn laughed and then they finished their drinks. He told Severus to give him a week to discuss his retirement with the Headmaster and then look for his owl. Severus shook his hand and watched him leave the inn, trying hard to not roll his eyes at the ease in which the simple shallow man was manipulated.

* * *

In the following weeks Dumbledore carried out their plan. Frank and Alice both accepted the position and gave statements to the press of their excitement to begin the next term. Then they quietly moved into their new quarters inside the school, to wait out the next school year and shadow some other professors while they learned the ins and outs of teaching.

Severus was subjected to the Dark Lord's anger at losing the Dark Arts post but succeeded in convincing him that he was desperately trying to fix the problem, telling him that he would force Slughorn into retirement. He explained that since he was one of the few wizards in Britain with mastery in Potions he would be the logical choice for his replacement. This eased Riddle's anger some knowing that Severus was still going to be accomplishing most of his task and then he was later impressed at his manipulation of the situation when Severus returned and reported his success.

But adding to the disappointment of losing the defense position was the Dark Lord learning of defection of James Potter to the Order. Riddle's complete inability to learn anything of his whereabouts sent him into a fit of rage at being disobeyed.

Their plans to frustrate him worked perfectly, and the Dark Lord began losing his cool political façade as the elections approached. More than once he came off in a negative light and the press was quick to report this to the masses.

Dumbledore managed to convince Edgar Bones to put himself and his family under Fidelis but no one expected Riddle to go after the family personally. From then on Riddle turned over a new leaf and began going after his prime targets in person. They never figured out how the Dark Lord managed to find the Bones Family and the loss was a heavy blow to the morale among the Order. Not even their success at blocking Voldemort from the ministry seat would lighten their outlook.

The very young new Minister, Millicent Bagnold however quickly cleared up any of the public's misconceptions about Tom Riddle, and openly declared that he was Lord Voldemort. This forced Riddle into hiding, no longer able to walk out in public in his anonymity. It also caused a significant rise in talk about the Dark Lord, and in retaliation he instituted a jinx on his name. It was a very long blood filled week before they learned the connections to all the attacks and word was spread not to speak his self-imposed title. Remus's parents were among the first to be killed in earliest days of the jinx. And their deaths left Remus deeply shaken; he decided to take a step back from the war and began wandering the globe aimlessly. Both Severus and Regulus tried to reach out for him but knew that their friend needed time alone when he demanded it.

Their deaths were quickly followed by a group of order members that were innocently having brunch at a safe house near Lime. James' parents, Dorcas Meadows and Cadrac Dearborn were all dead within minutes of uttering Voldemort's name. The Dark Lord appeared before them personally using the Jinx to bypass the Fidelis followed by a few of his cloaked and masked Death Eaters. They tortured and killed the small group of order members but before they did Riddle broke in to Mrs. Potters mind and caught the passing thought of sadness that she would never meet her grandchild as he cast the killing curse at her.

After the first two days of the attacks Severus desperately questioned Hermione asking if she knew how the Dark Lord was suddenly able to get beyond the enchantments of a secret kept location and together they deduced that it must have been the Jinx he'd placed on his name. Though they were able to prevent any more breaches in the Order by quickly informing them of the jinx, it took the rest of that week for the news to spread to the entire Wizarding community. From then on it was with hushed voices and extreme trepidation that anyone even uttered the words you-know-who.


	28. Innocence and Depravity (10,330)

A/N: Hello all, I know finally an update! My only excuse is that muse has been pissy with me. We are going to slowly be moving more into Hermione territory over the next few Chapters. YAY! (finally) Thank you Kraco for your Beta work, and for helping me focus, and for making me laugh!

THANK YOU ALL MY REVIEWERS! I think I finally caught up on you all when I was procrastinating writing his chapter. And if I still missed you, just know that I love you!

I started a DeviantArt page where I'm going to keep all the artwork and stuff that I accrue. It's listed under the same user name Luckyilexx. find me on G+ and tumblr(out of date) under the same user name :)

Mood music: Tuvan - Gaia (Original Mix) Armin VanBuuren

**CONTENT WARNING: RAPE, TORTURE, BLOOD, DEATH, VIOLENT SEX - THIS IS HEAVILY MATURE. When you get to ~*~ skip to the next chapter break to bypass this scene. NSFW, RATER R, 17+ only.**

Disclaimer: as always not mine, no money

* * *

**Chapter 27: Innocence and Depravity**

In those first few months of the year Severus spent much of his time in Lucius and Narcissa's company. He had a standing invitation to join them for dinner and he often took them up on it just so that he could be nearby for any information that might come from the Dark Lord. Surprisingly to Severus the Dark Lord didn't live at Malfoy manor as he'd once thought he might. He apparently had a home of his own in Little Hangleton but he used the pomp and finery of the Malfoy residence to charm his wealthy followers.

In late January they sat around the Malfoy's fine dining room table, with an enormous spread of food that one would only find a match in at Hogwarts. Lucius was in high spirits, happier and more carefree than Severus had seen him since his first year at school. He also observed that Narcissa was looking exceptionally beautiful. More than once he'd had to give himself a mental slap for appreciating her form and the healthy flush of her normally pale cheeks. But he was completely oblivious to the reason for this and their newlywed antics towards each other.  
Lucius however finally elucidated everything for him when they retreated to his study for drinks and conversation. He proudly announced while pouring two tumblers of fire whiskey for them,

"I'm going to be a father Severus! Narcissa's told me earlier this morning." He grinned widely and handed Severus a glass. Severus returned his smile with a genuine one of his own and raised his glass to Lucius.

"Congratulations!" If it was possible Lucius's smile grew wider at his praise. Severus could see that he was very happy. He wasn't too surprised by the news so much as he was reminded that it would happen. Hermione told him that Snape had been named the boy's godfather. He wasn't sure that his relationship with Lucius and Narcissa was deep enough for them to wish it in this time and the thought made him a little sad.

"When is she expected? Severus asked his features softened more than normal as he shared in his friend's moment of joy. Lucius tossed back the last of his drink and preened his long blond hair as he answered,

"She said she is just past three months, so that means she should be due -" He paused for a moment and counted the months on his hand and turned pale. All expression of his former joy and excitement at the news vanished to be replaced by one of shock and horror. Severus frowned at this sudden change in his countenance.

"What is it Lucius?" he asked his voice thick with concern, he almost felt the fear radiating of Lucius and as though it was contagious Severus's heartbeat quickened as he waited for whatever dreaded news Lucius had recognised.

_Had Narcissa been unfaithful and he was only just realizing it? No._ He answered himself. Narcissa wasn't the type to wander. And she so obviously adored Lucius it was unconscionable to even consider it. Lucius seemed to find his voice and he slowly spoke his voice weak and quiet as if he was afraid speaking the words aloud would make them true.

"She'd be due in mid to late July. The seventh month." He met Severus eyes, his own wild with his terror and with a look of desperation in them. "He's going to think it's my child, the child of the prophecy Severus." Lucius's fear took over him and he moved to dash from the room but Severus grabbed hold of him and held him. He was obviously intent on fleeing with his wife and hiding from the Dark Lord, but Severus held him firm and tried to calm him.

The only thing the Dark Lord had shared with a few of his most trusted was that the prophecy spoke of a child born in July that had the power to defeat him. Severus didn't' know when Draco had been born the first time but he did know that he hadn't been targeted. He assumed this was because Lucius and Narcissa had not defied him three times but Severus couldn't' use that information to calm his friend. He wasn't supposed to know any more than that himself.

"Wait! If you run you will only draw his ire Lucius, you will only put them in danger and cause the Dark Lord to consider your child as one of the prophecy. The prophecy speaks of a boy, at least wait until you learn what Narcissa is having. If it is a daughter you are safe, don't you see? If you run you will be punished for fleeing, even if you are wrong." Severus tried to reason with him. Even though he knew they would have a son if he could at least get Lucius to calm long enough to come up with a long-term plan, there had to be something they could do. Lucius stopped struggling to get away and gripped the lapel of Severus suit, "When can I know if it is a boy or girl?" He demanded frantically. Severus held up his palms and shrugged.

_What did he know about pregnancy and children?_ Out loud he said,

"I'm sure in a few weeks or something, I know as little of these things as you my friend." Severus grasped Lucius by the shoulders and guided the shell-shocked man to sit in a chair near the fireplace. Severus stayed crouched in front of Lucius and placed a comforting hand on his knee. Lucius buried his face in his hands to hide his distress. Severus observed him for some time before he stood and got him a new drink and then called for the elf that Lucius had assigned to be his personal attendant, as he was visiting with them so often.

"Worely?" When the young elf appeared he immediately bowed obscenely low, waiting for his instructions with a trembling anxiety in his eagerness to serve.  
"Master Severus has need of Worely?"

"Yes can you locate for me a book on childbearing one with general information of the process please?" Severus requested and then turned back to Lucius. Typically he would relish the chance to go and search the Malfoy's extensive libraries but he felt it would not be best to leave Lucius at the present time, seeing him staring off into the distance, tormented by visions in his head.

"What is it Master wishes to know Sir? Worely can be helping, I has been trained as all elves is sir in the proper care of mother and child." The elf said proudly puffing out his chest as he stood upright.

"I need to know at what gestation period we may learn the sex of a child." Severus told the elf, slightly surprised that the elf was offering to be helpful and so forthrightly proud of it. He attributed it to his being still young for an elf, and eager to serve. The older elves especially in a family such as the Malfoys learned quickly to do and speak only when asked or fear harsh reprisal, mostly at their own hands for displeasing their masters even the slightest. He was careful to not show any dissatisfaction with the elf, he had planned to form a strong bond of loyalty with it and use it to get information that he'd otherwise not be privy to.

"Oh yes Masters must be wanting to know what the Mistress is having. Elves, sir, knows these things right away." At these words Lucius sat forward listening intently.  
"Well what is it?" He snapped at the elf causing it to cringe away from him.

"Another young Master, sir. Mistress is being having a son." Lucius let out a moan of agony at this and slumped into his chair.

"Severus what am I going to do? How will I keep him safe? How will I tell Cissy?" Lucius cast about questioningly clearly as much afraid of sharing the news with his wife as he was of the Dark Lord learning he was to have a son.

"She'll never forgive me. When I started following the Dark Lord it was all political intrigue and maneuvering for more power and rights for pure bloods. Everything has changed since then and Narcissa is more and more distant with me as she sees and knows all of what I have done. How do I tell her that my allegiance will cost us our son?" Lucius voice cracked hoarsely from the emotions he was fighting.

"You needn't tell her anything. We can find a way to keep her safe, to make sure the Dark Lord doesn't even consider your son as the child of prophecy, Worely?" Severus turned back to the elf that seemed to be terrified at the notion that his young unborn master was in danger.

"What is the earliest a child can be born without putting it in any danger?" Severus asked him.

"The Mistress and young master will be out of danger after the start of June." Worely answered in a tremulous voice.

"Do elves have any means for bringing about labor early? Or is there a known method for doing so?" Severus grilled him. Worely shook his head vigorously then nodded just as enthusiastically causing himself to get a little dizzy.

"It's against the elves code of care to meddle with the natural growth of a child, sir but Worely knows there is being a potion sir, that in times be used by mediwitches to start the birth when it has gone over due and is being a danger to the mother."

"Bring me a book that details this potion." Severus demanded and the elf disappeared instantly. He turned back to Lucius who looked up with some relief at the news. Lucius stood up abruptly and approached Severus pleading.

"Please Severus, you'll brew it for me won't you? I wouldn't trust anyone else but you, please you have to help me keep him safe." His voice was gruff and his face ashen as he begged.

"Of course Lucius, I will give it all the care as if it was for my own son. You see? You don't have to fear we'll prepare the potion and wait and see. If she has not had the baby before the last week of June you can give her the potion and she will be quite safe." Severus consoled him; he reached for the abandoned glass of alcohol and placed it in Lucius hands, and urged him to drink to help calm his nerves.

"Thank you Severus! You are a good friend." Lucius said his eyes distant as he thought of a future where he held his son, and a smile returned to his face.  
"I'm going to be a father." He said with wonderment. Severus laughed deep and melodious at Lucius who joined him. He cheered up some now that the situation was in hand and once again began enjoying the moment of celebration.

Over the next few months Severus studied the Birthing potion and looked into every ingredient to make sure that there was no possible harmful ingredient. Once he was sufficiently satisfied he brewed his slightly improved version that would also provide Narcissa with a measure of comfort during the birth. Since the potion would not react well to being mixed with those typically given to a mother during labour, and he did his best to modify it to make up for this.

Severus was kept very busy by Slughorn who insisted that he sit in a few of each years potions classes. Severus felt that it was unnecessary, the man's teaching methods left a lot to be desired. He was adequate to be sure but he was too much of a lazy individual to put any real effort at pushing his students towards excellence. Severus would accept nothing less than perfection and precision, and refused to run his own classes in such a lackadaisical way as Slughorn did. He knew from his own school days how many terrible accidents had occurred in the potions classroom. It was because of this that over the years Slughorn's classes included less and less of the more precise and dangerous concoctions, as he'd sooner not teach these complicated potions than be required to take heavy precautions and efforts for these lessons. After spending a month sitting in on Slughorn's classes Severus had a very good idea of how he would most effectively run his own classroom, and focused the rest of his time, until the term began preparing his syllabus for all seven years.

However his time was not always his own, he was more frequently called forward to act for Riddle and became increasingly more informed of the extent of Riddle's magical malaise. On its worse days Riddle seemed to be completely unable to call up any magic at all, though he hid this information very carefully. Severus was sure this had to do with the blood rite payment, and believed that he in essence was suffering from a broken soul bond. He was leaking magical energy and though he seemed to be trying to find a way to combat it, the restorative potions that Severus provided for him simply were not cutting it. His instability seemed to make him even more frantic and insecure and it became another driving force behind the eventual destruction of his public anonymity. When the new minister outed Riddle as Lord Voldemort he had no choice but to remain in hiding and out of the public eye. If the Aurors ever tried to capture him it would be hit and miss whether he would even be able to call up his magic.

Near the end of spring however he couldn't continue to put off the Revels without talk and suspicions of his power being raised. The night of the Revel he'd been summoned by Riddle earlier than the main group and the Dark Lord invited him for a stroll through the Gardens. Once they'd begun the conversation Severus quickly realized this was because he was reluctant to speak of his condition inside the house for fear of it being overheard. His paranoia seemed to grow comparatively to the loss of his magic.

"Severus I have been remiss in keeping abreast of certain developments. I am reminded that you are suffering from a broken soul bond to that mudblood Evans. I was going to commend you for your ability to keep the effects of it so well maintained, I barely noticed your magical decrease at all. How have you managed it?" He questioned Severus slyly. Severus couldn't help but smirk internally. He'd actually wondered when Riddle was going to start questioning him about it.

"I sealed the breaking point my Lord, I learned of a very obscure spell from my master actually and used it to my purpose. I suffered the magical drain for little more than a day until I found the cure to it." Severus told him, purposely emphasizing how quickly and easily he'd taken care of the problem just to rub salt into the wound, for him to be shown his inferiority at being unable to manage it himself would without a doubt send him into a rage and Severus couldn't resist the temptation to rile him.

Riddle didn't disappoint either, his body went rigid and he clenched his fists at his side as they walked the garden path. Severus was sure he heard the crunch of his teeth splitting under the force of his bite as he ground his teeth. After a few moments taken to exert control over his temper so as not to give himself away he said,

"A most interesting solution, what was the original spell's purpose?" He asked his voice flat but in such a way as to highlight his peevishness.

"Immortality. It's a soul severing ritual that allows the user to bind a shard of their soul to something outside themselves. It's in the same vein of magic as the soul bond though the intent needed is quite different." Severus explained to him. He planned to encourage him to push his soul instability further than it was currently and hoped that he could hasten his destruction or fall from power in doing so. Even if they didn't find and destroy all the Horcruxes before he managed to kill his source soul it would still give him those years for reprieve to hunt down the others and end him permanently.

"I'm familiar with this method, so then you have brazenly taken steps toward immortality?" Riddle asked trying to sound curious but his voice was a little too eager and Severus caught onto this and considered this proof in point that he was indeed suffering from a magical leak.

"I have my lord, it was unavoidable if I wanted to prevent a complete loss of my magic, a small price to pay." Severus lied to him.

"You mistake my meaning son; I have no qualms with seeking immortality. True power even over death is my main ambition." Riddle told him as they walked side by side toward the house their conference now at an end.

"You have pleased me Severus, tonight I would like to see you enjoy yourself, and set an example for your brethren, show them how true power is commanded." Riddle told him in an almost whisper leaning in to speak over Severus's left shoulder while he ran his hand along the inside of his forearm and activated the snake sigil. Severus cursed internally the last thing he needed was to have the Voluptas raging for the next few hours waiting to be released. It would heavily tax his occlumency, and he knew no matter what the Dark Lord expected to see, it couldn't possibly be good. He allowed the curse to rage in his blood for the few moments he had left in Riddles presence, allowing him to see the flush of his skin and the frenzied dilation of his eyes. Riddle smirked at him and reentered the house, and then Severus slammed his occlusions into place.

There was nothing he could to for the hyper-awareness of his senses, so he would have to be extremely careful keep as distant from his Death Eater comrades as possible. He couldn't afford the extra strain of fighting off outside stimuli.

When he'd finally managed to get some privacy after the long and trying night of withholding the curse that first time, Severus retreated to his bed and let his hands roam until the demands of pleasure were fully satisfied. Being able to dictate how those demand were met he was sure was the only reason he felt nothing negative towards those actions. But one thing he would not do was let Hermione feel his behavior through their bond. He felt that it would be tantamount to torture for her to have to feel his arousal and be completely unable to touch him. He wanted more than anything to get to know her and to hold her soul in his arms, to feel her skin on his. But he also felt completely averse to touching her, as if some compulsion kept him from it. He was sure that it was the shard of Snape pushing against him, He was not worthy to hold her, He was still angry with him for his interactions with Lily. For as long as his soul was in dissonance he would struggle and fight with his desires towards Hermione but he felt willing to do anything to prove he could deserve her.

Severus continued to walk the gardens deep in his thoughts for a time until the rest of the Revelers began to arrive and assemble, he then returned inside.  
The majority of the guests were abuzz with their string of recent successes. When the Dark Lord created the jinx thereby creating a taboo on uttering the name of Voldemort, the first thing that Severus notice was the frequent spikes of pain that were very similar to the sensation when the Dark Lord was summoning you to his side. The major difference was that the pain receded quickly and didn't grow in intensity if ignored the way a summons would. This was how he was alerting his followers of the breaking of the taboo. Riddle had not explained to any of his followers what its meaning was, and had used it as a test to see which of his followers were most eager to answer his call.

When Riddle arrived at the first breach and murdered the senior Potters and their guests Severus was one of those responders. He, Bellatrix, Barty, Rastaban, and Rodolphus arrived on the scene as the Dark Lord was torturing the Potters for information. Dearborn and Meadows had already been killed and from their positions had gone down trying to fight. There was nothing any of the other Death Eaters needed to do but watch and within minutes the Dark Lord had whatever he's been looking for and killed Mrs. Potter last.  
The Dark Lord praised them for responding to the new form of summons and called them his most loyal before he dismissed them. Severus didn't respond to further summons claiming his inability to get away due to training with Slughorn and he was given a pass by the Dark Lord. But he knew that for that first week, before he managed to figure it out and give Dumbledore the news, that the other Death Eaters were extremely busy. Now their general conversation was focused on retelling and bragging about their various roles and the fights in which they partook.

Once they were all assembled Severus took up a prominent position in the room, but separate, that allowed him to quietly observed those present. Thankfully Regulus had been excused from the revels for the duration of his mastery as a curse breaker he was often traveling to far corners of the globe with his master, making responding to a summons rather difficult. Severus was glad that Regulus had not been present for the last very depressing few months to witness the Order's losses.

However Severus was surprised to see a few new masks among them, and was curious to who these new members were. He heard their thick accents and began to fear how far reaching Riddles influence had become. If he'd procured followers from outside Britain then they had to worry about protecting even more innocents. He studied the three foreigners and managed to catch one of them whispering to another and calling him by his first name, Igor. The Dark Lord then joined the room and began pacing a circle among them as he spoke eloquently of their purpose and of the terrible state that their magical governmental system was in for not recognizing the threat of the mudbloods and the non-magical. He played the crowd of entitled pure bloods and worked them in to a state of frenzy and agitation, before manipulating their emotions further and at least directing them to the beginnings of their evening's activities. He introduced the three new followers as his eyes and ears placed among the other prominent magical schools and praised them for their success in spreading their ideals and rising up the new generation of youth properly. He dismissed two of the three to go along with the newest of the marked members to capture their prey for the evening. Severus was curious why the one called Igor was not asked to go with the others and covertly moved closer. He only caught the very tail end of their conversation, Igor's thick Germanic baritone carried loudly despite his fervent whispered tone.

"Yes my Lord, as promised I have placed every security around its display. You have left it in good hands I assure you." The Dark Lord gave him an almost imperceptible nod of approval and then cast his eyes around suspiciously. He saw Severus near them and called out to him gesturing for him to join them, Severus turned to face them when his name was called and then bowed his head slightly to the Dark Lord when he joined them.

"Igor, I would like you to meet Severus Snape. He will be your counterpart inside Hogwarts. He takes up the post of Potions Master in the upcoming term. I would like very much if you two could both bring together the two schools and unite them in our purpose." The Dark Lord informed them. Igor's eyes met Severus's through his mask and Severus was able to quickly learn that he was occluding, not powerfully so but enough that it was likely he would be detected if he tried to brush against his mind for more information. Unfortunately Severus had been focused on his attempt to gather information and habitually responded to the hand that Igor offered him to shake.

"Master Snape, Igor Karkaroff, a pleasure to meet you." Igor shook his hand. Severus was grateful for the mask he wore to hide the heat that suffused his face from the contact on his skin and he did his best to mask the flinch that the reminder of the barely repressed curse caused, masking it with a toss of his hair over his shoulder.

"Indeed." Was all the Severus was sure he could managed to say. He dropped the hand and grabbed the sides of his cloak to hide the shake in his hands as he struggled for control. Riddle however had a menacing mirthfulness in his eyes and he didn't miss the cues that told him that Severus had not satisfied his needs. A predatory grin spread on his features and he said to them before he stepped away.

"I will leave you to get better acquainted, though I know you must both be so eager to partake in this evenings delight." He then gave Severus a significant look and swept through the crowd stopping to mingle with a few of his favored members as they waited for the initiates to return with their entertainment.

Severus made brief polite conversation with Igor before excusing himself to return to his original solitary position to observe while he calmed the tattoo of his quickened pulse, and forced the flush of his skin into dormancy again.

The initiates arrived bringing along with them a group of eight college age captives, that were unlucky to cross paths with the Death Eaters while on their prowl. There were three young men who all looked heavily beaten already proof that they had attempted to fight back against their attackers. The young women were in varying degrees of hysteria, one of which seemed to have slipped into her mind unconsciously separating herself from the terror that was going on around her.

When they entered the circular dungeon that Severus still had nightmares of he threw every ounce of his magic into shutting off all his good emotions, and completely shut off the flow of his emotions through his bond with Hermione. He was expected to perform tonight and he needed it to be believable. He'd set his mind to the task and shut down all thoughts and reservations that would give him away. He would need to maintain an open flow of the expected emotions during this Revel as he was sure that Riddle would be carefully observing his progress, having stated quite clearly he wanted to see him enjoy himself. Severus was sure he was being tested to see just how depraved and immoral he could be. If he could let go of those things that Riddle deemed weakness.

~*~The captives were stationed with six of them chained along the outer wall and the two most attractive of the females bound to the floor in the center of the room inside the circle of stone pillars. The Death Eaters dispersed and split themselves among the groups and began tormenting their captives, each group enjoying a different flavor of punishment. During this time Riddle had before just patrolled the room and passed out the sensual reward of an activated snake sigil for acts that he particularly approved of. This would cause the level of their violent displays to become increasingly more vicious as many tried to earn the drug like release of their curse marks.

This time however Riddle gestured for Severus to join him in the center of the room where the blonde haired girl who seemed lost inside her own mind kneeled bound and in shock. Her beautiful curly haired brunette companion had warm brown eyes that unsettled Severus as they pleaded and begged him not to hurt her.

Rodolphus, Rastaban, Bellatrix and a handful of others followed the Dark Lord to the center curious to see what he would show them as he didn't normally participate himself. Riddle chose the girl with the blank and vacant expression.

"This one seems as though her mind is gone." He mused and he lifted her chin and looked into her mind. "She won't provide sufficient enough response to be entertaining, and I have a use for her." Riddle drew his wand and then pulled a large jeweled locket from his pocket and slipped it over the girl's neck. Bellatrix hissed at the action mad with jealously that he was gifting such an item to a muggle but the Dark Lord only had to look up and give her a dark look to keep her silent.

The Dark Lord then waved his wand in the complicated rune pattern that Severus recognized as the soul severing, incanting nonverbally as a black oozing smoke poured from the tip of his wand. He placed the tip to the locket binding the torn piece of his soul to the item. Then he shifted his wand to the girl's throat and said aloud with malice dripping from his tone.

"Avada Kedavra!" As the dull light of her life force faded form her eyes Voldemort finished the ritual that absorbed her dispersing life force. The green light of the killing curse swirled around her body as it fell then dived into Voldemort's chest as he incanted with the last flourish of his wand.

"Constringes!"

Severus immediately knew what he'd just witnessed. The locket was now a Horcrux and the Dark Lord appeared to have cauterized his magical leak. He wondered if they would now begin to see a rise in his offensive strikes against The Order if he was indeed going to be back at full power. The good news was he knew that very shortly Regulus would be called on and he could give him advance notice. The Dark Lord looked pale from the severing, his brow showing a light sheen of sweat and his black eyes had a sort of red magical glow to them that was rather terrifying. But despite the obvious discomfort he was suffering under, Severus could also see that he was deep in the grasp of blood thirst from the dark call of the most wicked of dark spells. He conjured a black stone throne and sat himself in it leisurely, where he could observe the entire room and all varied methods of torture. It was a calculated action that placed him in a domineering light but allowed him to recoup without betraying his weakened state.

"Severus this beautiful specimen is for your pleasure. Do use the honor of showing the rest of your brethren how best to dominate their filth with power." Voldemort said smiling lasciviously and settled deep in his seat resting his chin on his hands waiting to observe. The other groups took notice of what was happening at the center of the room and Severus felt the eyes of most of them on him once again.

He desperately tried to suppress his panic and the memories of the last time came swirling to the forefront of his mind with images of Lily's tear-stained face. He approached the girl and stood over her rigidly he cast an Imperio on the girl and commanded quietly.

"Stand before me and remove your clothes." The girl's eyes went wide as she obeyed his commands against her will. While she was disrobing Rodolphus and Rabastan stepped forward and began molesting her bare skin and leering into her face. Bellatrix stood nearby twirling her own wand giddily and would cast stinging hexes at the girl to cause her to jump and cry out as she tried to keep the two brothers hands off of her while she was forced to undress.

Meanwhile Severus took his time allowing them their fun, while he removed his mask and clothing leaving himself in only his black trousers. He stepped forward and with a look commanded the brothers to release her which they did; forcing her to fall sprawled to her knees in front of Severus. Severus cast the Voluptas curse on the girl so that he would not have to force her responses through Imperio, merely speak his demands and she would fall over herself to obey his whims and sate her own needs as well.

Severus reach down and grabbed her by the hair and made her look up at him, as he did so she wrapped her arms around his legs and rubbed her hand up the back of his thighs. He released his occlumency hold on his curse and let the suffusing pleasure rise up through him, within moments he was straining against his trousers and his bare skin showed the deep flush of the desire raging hot within him.

As he allowed her to continue to paw herself on him, he couldn't help but stare into her face. The more he looked at her the more he was transposing Hermione's image in her features. She'd managed to undo his belt and placket while he was lost in her face imagining Hermione. When she slid her hands around his buttocks and descended her lips towards his straining member he was jolted out of his fantasy and saw her terrified eyes. He no longer was able to see the sensual fantasy of Hermione's features, now he was being tortured by the reality of what he was doing, he felt revulsion overtake him. He quickly shoved her away from him desperate to get her touch, her pureness off his skin. It burned at him. What was he doing he couldn't do that, not to eyes that started up at him in such fear, the same fear mirrored in Lily's eyes. With eyes that were the same shade of warm brown as Hermione's. Severus was gasping for breath and fighting for control, but he soon realized there was no way he would let himself rape another innocent. He pulled his wand from his pocket and pointed it at the girl who was whimpering and rubbing herself trying to gain friction and release from her curse.

"Avada Kedavra." He whispered. He'd never cast the killing curse before and he was not expecting the force of domineering power that welled up inside him and made him feel invincible. He didn't hear the cries of outrage from the Lestranges at first so drunk with power that he was.

"Severus? You do not wish to partake of this gift I have given you?" Voldemort said his ire and indignation like barbs in his tone. Severus took a couple deep breaths and readjusted his pant to hide his still very willing body, before he turned his face to the Dark Lord.

"No My lord, I thank you for the gift, I could not force back my revulsion for her filth. I apologize for my weakness." Severus said, then he kneeled and bowed his head to wait his punishment. Voldemort laughed at him darkly and it drew the attention of the other groups again the room going eerily silent but for the keening cries of their victims.  
"I find your dedication to your own purity admirable Severus, truly you are an example. But they still desire their entertainment. You will be the one to replace it since you have deprived them of it." Voldemort told him then with a finger he gestured for the Lestrange brothers to step forward.

They grabbed Severus by his shoulders and hauled him to his feet. Severus felt the sickening pleasure wash over him anywhere they touched, even at their rough treatment of him as their hands slid down his side and thighs when they pushed his pants off his hips and then walked him backward to step out of them. Bellatrix stepped forward beside herself with excitement, wearing only black robes that were open displaying her nakedness beneath.

"Dear, dear Severus, you will be punished for your misdeeds." She brandished her wand and trailed its tip from his neck to his navel, before stepping forward and grabbing firmly on to his sex. Severus shuddered as the sensations overwhelmed him, he would take very little stimulation to release the curse and he longed for it to be over, he pushed himself deeper into her hands seeking the friction he needed. Bellatrix squeezed him hard enough to make him wince from the pain of it, he enjoyed it none the less but then she drew her wand across his pectoral inches from his pert nipple and sliced him with a whispered "Diffindo." Severus hissed and glared at her trying to remove his arms from the powerful hold of Rodolphus and Rabastan who both chuckled at his discomfort.

"It is your punishment Severus. I will have my way with you and Rudy and Ras can watch the way they so enjoy to do." Bellatrix told him in a deep sultry tone. She released him and leaned forward licking his nipple and swirling up the blood that had seeped onto it from the superficial wound. Severus bared his teeth at her feral like and taunted.

"You think that you can satisfy me Bella? I think you might be over estimating your talents," his voice came out silken and barbed and Bellatrix visibly angered at his word. Her eyes narrowed and she ran her wand along the lower right side of his abdomen cutting him again in warning then running her fingers through the blood that oozed their before bringing her finger to her lips and coating them with like she would apply lipstick. She wasn't looking at Severus anymore she was providing the imagery that her husband and brother in law wished to see. She gazed past Severus wantonly at Rodolphus who relaxed his grip on Severus slightly and leaned in to kiss her blood drenched lips. Severus was not comfortable being the middle man and decided he'd had enough of Bellatrix being the dominant. While Bellatrix was lip locked with Rodolphus and Rabastan was busy fondling her breast he concentrated and pulled himself into his flight form melting from their grips, before solidifying behind Bellatrix. The others in their shock at his disappearance from their grip stepped back and this gave Severus a clear path to push Bellatrix the few feet forcefully into a pillar near the edges of the center part of the room. Severus pressed her into the wall and heard Voldemort laughing behind him and ordering Rodolphus and Rabastan,

"Let Bellatrix have what she has asked for." The two brothers glowered but did as they were commanded and only looked on.

Severus wanted to satisfy his curse once as for all so that he could be done with this act. He poured his anger at having to perform into his treatment of Bellatrix. Placing his feet in between hers and forcing them apart while pinning her wrists above her head her cheek pressed against the cold stone. He bound her hands into place wandlessly then trailed his hands down the sides of her body making her moan with excitement.

Severus grasped the neck of her robes and with the help of a touch of his magic ripped it down the center all the way to the floor and then did the same to the shoulders as well, causing the garment to fall at her feet and leave her backside bare to the room. She tried to press into him and feel the touch of his skin on hers but Severus withdrew and summoned his wand to his hand. He sent a powerful stinging hex to strike at her bare bottom and watched as is reddened, Bellatrix moaned and whimpered in her delight. For as much as she tried to pretend at being a dominant she begged to be punished, Severus taunted her with such words telling her he would not give her pleasure until she confessed her desire to be punished. He put some more of his anger into a double slashed Sectumsempra across her shoulder blades and she keened loudly begging him to punish her.

Severus smirked at how easy it was to control her as he pushed her into the submissive substrata of ecstasy; he knew he'd just created a powerful form of control over her. She would forever wish to submit to him in anything, so long as he demanded with the right tone. Then he approached her and rubbed his hands across her shoulders collecting her blood on his hands, having taken note of her enjoyment of it, as he the grip her face and neck. He entered her forcefully from behind as he stuck his blood covered finger into her mouth. She suckled at them greedily, moaning loudly at the force and violence that he forced himself in her, she spread her legs wider for him and leaned back into him.  
Severus was nearly lost to the overwhelming force of the curse as it was once and for all satisfied. He couldn't help his own groans as the waves of the sickening burning pleasure exploded from him, sending pulsed of heat like ripple on a pond dancing over every nerve ending. The satisfaction of the long-delayed release was immense, but it was followed quickly by his sense of revulsion and nausea as he was once and for all released from the compulsions of the Voluptas. He quickly separated from her leaving her tied up shuddering from her own multiple climaxes.

Then Severus summoned his wand from the floor followed by his clothes; he cast an extensive Tergio on himself and dressed. Rodolphus took up Severus place, seemingly the type who got off watching other men service his wife before he partook himself. Severus shrugged to himself in apathy.

Rabastan had joined another group outside the center circle that was lined with pillars, so as Severus fastened his many buttons and resumed his immaculate control of his emotions Voldemort stepped down from his throne and approached him.

"You have a very unique method Severus I find it very becoming, such control over your lessers is something even I can admire. Even if such pleasures of the flesh do nothing for me that was quite a display of your psychological prowess among other things. Not only did you dominate the woman but the entire room, you've placed yourself above them Severus, you are their better and they recognize it. Well done, you are dismissed for the evening if you so wish it." Voldemort told him and he took to the room to begin making his normal rounds.

* * *

Severus tried to keep his eyes from going to the sprawled form and glazed expression of the warm brown eyes that seemed to still stare up at him, begging even in death.  
He grabbed his mask and cloak and left as quickly as he could, once again choosing to take flight in his raven form to help clear his mind, but nothing he could do would stop the self-loathing or the nightmarish images of the sins he'd committed that night and before, they flashed endlessly before him. Showing him in every way how he would never be worthy enough to have something so pure as Hermione's love, old or new.

As he flew towards Spinners End he opened up his connection to Hermione to speak with her.

"Where would she be right now?" He asked his voice hoarse. Hermione no doubt could feel all his inner turmoil since he was no longer blocking it and just sent her concern for him through as she answered.

"She's at home most likely, asleep at this hour." Hermione responded, Severus got her to direct him to her childhood home as he relayed the events of the evening to her he spared no detail of his sins confessing them completely to her.

"Severus you can't blame yourself for having to play your role. This is your job and it's a sacrifice you have willingly and courageously made for others. You cannot let these things define you, you are better than the actions you must take as a spy. I will not judge or condemn you." Hermione told him and tried to sooth his hurt with her affection through their bond.

"I don't deserve you, let alone her." Severus answered her. Hermione just sighed at him and continued to try to ease his suffering.

Severus landed on the windowsill of a neatly kept home and looked in. He saw the small cherub face surrounded by a mop of brown curls that caressed a pair of round chubby cheeks.

The look of her complete innocence overwhelmed him. He unlocked her window and opened it with magic then flew inside to get a closer look at her.

"Hermione, she is an infant." Severus spoke to her in bafflement. He already knew that she would be but seeing her with his own eyes really just astounded him. As he looked down at her she opened her sleepily little eyes and looked up at him giving him a small gurgling smile, before closing then again and falling back asleep. He was filled with and overwhelming urge to protect her, suddenly terrified of what might happen to her living in a house with no magical wards.

"Relax Severus, she'll be safe." Hermione told him Severus reached down and brushed a small curl from her cheek and felt her comforted peaceful, happiness and he sent his feelings of protection to her.

"You were right, it feels just like we're imprinted." Severus told her. As he withdrew his finger from her cheek small fingers grabbed on to his and caused him to take a sharp intake of breath from the radiant purity that he felt of her soul. He carefully removed her grip before leaving her room, taking extra care to secure the window tightly and casting a strong ward on it that would keep any wind from blowing through the seams. Hermione's amusement at his antics echoed through the bond and he growled back at her.

As Severus made his way home he felt for certain that he would never be worthy of the pure heart of that young and innocent soul. He would do everything he could to protect her and give her a good chance life, a future, and hope that she found a young man that she could love that deserved her more than him. He would be happy with the Shard of Hermione that he had, she deserved his devotion and companionship for all she had sacrificed for him and he was more than willing to give it to her.

On the morning of June 6th Severus was woken up by and insistent tapping at his window. He opened the window and saw Lucius's owl fly in and land on his desk as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He took the note from it then handed it a treat before shooing it out the window. He unrolled the note to find Lucius's sloppy scrawl, betraying the haste with which he'd written it.

"Severus, please come at your earliest convenience. My son arrived this early this morning and I desperately want him to meet his godfather. - Lucius"

Severus smiled and quickly readied himself, he went downstairs and found his mother cooking breakfast and kissed her on the cheek as he handed her the note. She read it and returned his beaming smile.

"Severus, that's wonderful! I'm sure you will be a fabulous godfather. Do you want a bite to eat or will you be eating with the Malfoys'?" Eileen asked him. Severus grabbed a piece of toast off a plate she'd been preparing and took a bite before grinning at her goofily.

"I'll be fine thanks. I'm surprised the elves let you in the kitchen anymore." Severus said. Eileen glowered at him,

"I had to convince Charmie I needed fresh Florida oranges for my juice just so that I could cook my eggs in peace. And don't you dare tip her off, I enjoy making at least one meal a day." Severus chuckled and finished his toast dusting the crumbs from his fingers and mouth.

"I'll be back later, you still feel up to looking over my lesson plans for the 5th years after dinner?" He asked as he went to get his frock coat from where he'd laid it on the back of a kitchen chair.

"Yes I am, I've invited Cearl for dinner if you will be back in time you are welcome to join us." Eileen told him and she straighten his coat for him then dusted his shoulders. He turned to face her and gave her a serious look.

"You know at some point you've both got to admit what's really going on." He quirked an eye brow at her, and Eileen blushed and slapped his arm.

"You mind your own business young man. I'll do as I please." Eileen chuckled in embarrassment that Severus had been so blunt.

* * *

Severus was in high spirits when he arrived at Malfoy manor. Lucius was waiting at the door for him bursting with excitement, and a huge grin on his face.

"Severus, you will be his godfather won't you?" Lucius insisted, pressing his hand against Severus shoulder in gesture that bespoke of their deepened friendship. Severus couldn't help but smile at Lucius's excitement and fervor.

"I'd be honored Lucius, truly." Severus admitted, it felt so odd to be so carefree and joyous in such times making the whole day already seem so surreal to him. It was as if the lows had been so depressed that this happy moment stood out as so much more significant against the backdrop of so much bad. Severus didn't doubt that he would have always felt as moved but he surely recognized that his spirits had desperately needed this lift.

"How are mother and child?" Severus asked as he followed Lucius inside. Lucius lead him deeper into the home from where the family usually kept to enjoying the more cozy atmosphere of the ladies tea room and the library, to the vast open spaces of the drawing room and ballrooms situated near the of the manor.

"Eager to see you. Cissy demanded I write you straight away once she'd recovered from the labor. I confessed everything to her when I gave her the potion, and she wants to thank you in person for helping us." Lucius explained as they weaved through the halls to the tea room that Narcissa usually occupied. Severus felt a little uncomfortable at the overwhelming amount of gratitude being sent his way and cleared his through and looked away shyly.

Narcissa was seated reclining on a chaise lounge dressed in a fine set of robes and not at all looking like she'd just given birth, outside of the tired circles around her eyes and her languid and heavy lidded expression. He held a bundle of fluffy lime green blankets that she peered in to adoringly. When she looked up Severus felt his heart warm at the openly affectionate expression she gave him. If he'd ever had a sister he could easily see Narcissa in the role. He approached and she gestured for him to sit beside her so that he could see the baby. Severus's hands got sweaty with nerves as he became suddenly afraid of holding the delicate baby.

Narcissa tilted her arms toward him so that he could see the small babe within the pile of fluff in her arms. He had completely platinum blonde eye brows and nearly invisible dusting of the same on his tiny head. Before he realized what was happening Narcissa was transferring the child to his arms and Lucius was proudly proclaiming in a hushed tone.  
"Severus; meet your godson, Draco Lucius Malfoy." Severus just stared into the small face of complete innocence in wonder. He looked back to Narcissa and reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"He is perfect Cissy." And she glowed at him from the praise.

Severus spent much more time there than he had before just to be around the young couple, eager to hold his godson and give the parents time to relax and finish meals. When he wasn't able to visit they always had the house elves that were assigned to care for the boy, when the parents needed attend other matters but Severus felt a tug to be as involved as he could be in the boy's life. He at times felt almost a sadness when he looked at him and allowed his thoughts to wander. He truly believed his future couldn't have a family in it, his life as a spy prevented that and until things change he had no desire to have false hope. So he cherished the moments he had with Draco.

In his anxiety for the child's safety Severus requested a meeting with the Dark Lord and offered him the use of Morgaig for future meetings and revels. Riddle questioned him on the reason why the Malfoy home was not suitable and Severus argued that he thought it unfair to invade on their family so many strangers. If he wished to keep Lucius happy he would see that it was time for him to take a quieter and less prominent role as he raised the new generation. Riddle seemed amused at Severus's devotion to the child but didn't see anything wrong with the idea of using Severus castle home. Severus had long since cleared the home of everything he thought was valuable leaving the family portraits and finery that he knew Riddle would love to be displayed.

Severus escorted him to his the home and gave him the grand tour. Riddle was quite happy with what he saw; glad to see that the very long and noble pure blood line of the Princes would be of use to him in impressing the wealthy backers of his cause. Severus was just relieved to know that the horrors of the revels would not be happening beneath the floors where Draco would be sleeping. He wanted to keep that evil far from him.

Narcissa and Lucius both had no words for their gratitude; she simply hugged him tightly and rather unexpectedly Lucius followed suit throwing one arm around him and giving him a manly pat on the back while holding Draco in the crook of his arm. Nothing was ever said on the matter.

* * *

About two months after Draco's birth Dumbledore sent Severus a note asking him to meet with him. He assumed it was to arrange things for the start of term as it was merely weeks away. They had not had any need for meetings to exchange information as the Dark Lord had gone abroad for a few months in search of something and as a result the wizarding world experienced a sort of lull where the world seems almost normal and at peace once again.

Severus was not expecting to find Dumbledore looking so sentimental, and the expression that he pinned on Severus when he saw him unnerved him and made him wary.  
"Albus?" Severus said apprehensively as he took up a seat in his normal stuffed chair.

"Ah Severus, thank you for coming. I asked you here to share with you a bit of good news. I'm sure that it's something you could use much more than the rest of us." Dumbledore said and he approached Severus and handed him a magical photograph. Severus took it then looked down at the moving image in his hand, he tensed when he saw the scene it displayed.

Lily was lovely and radiant in the bright summer sunshine on a picnic blanket. Nestled next to her was her newborn son with a headful of silky fine black hair, sleeping peacefully. Lily smiled tranquilly at the camera and then leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her son's forehead. Then the scene repeated itself, playing over and over before his eyes.  
Severus felt his heart tighten in his chest as he watched the woman he'd been forced to let go of, the girl he'd loved for so long hold her infant son. The pain was no doubt showing on his face as he rarely fully occluded around Dumbledore anymore, Dumbledore reached out and grabbed his shoulder in a gesture of sympathy and Severus felt those emotions through their imprint. He looked up at the headmaster whose eye shined with unshed tears.

"He is quite beautiful; I thought you might like to see the mother and child you have worked so hard to protect. To see them happy and safe, I thought it could give you strength." Dumbledore said quietly then released his arm and moved around to his shoulder to see the image himself. Severus returned his gazed to the photo and just watched it in silence. The aching pain in his chest grew heavier and heavier the longer he looked and he set the photo aside and looked away from Albus.

"He could have been my son, in another life, one where I had not chosen the life of a spy." Severus said quietly.

It was hard to see his friends all starting their families and having children, to see the woman he'd loved for so long with a child that he could easily imagine was his. If he closed his eyes he could see himself holding the camera and snapping that photo, being the one on the receiving end of that loving smile once again. But that was not to be his life anymore. He led a dangerous path that he wasn't even sure he could bring himself to let a lover into let alone to begin a family. No, over the last few months he realized that his life was not fated to have a family and the pain of that realization rose up again when he saw happy, lovely Lily lovingly kissing her newborn son. He would be happy with trying to keep her and her son alive and safe; he would devote himself to ridding the world of the Evil that tried to overtake it. And the only thread of hope he would allow is that he might survive it all. Then, and only then, would he allow himself to hope for any more.

Dumbledore gave him a strange look at his words and seemed to consider saying something before thinking better of it. Thinking what he wanted to say to Severus to himself.  
If only you knew how true that was, dear boy. But I will not tell you what you do not wish to know. I don't believe you deserve any more pain that you have already had to bear.  
He considered if he would ever tell Severus what he suspected, but felt certain that the longer time went on the less it needed to be known anyway. He could however help him through these hard times, and maybe one day he will find out who the beautiful brunette is who was bound to his journal and help bring them together.

* * *

A/N: This chapter lovingly dedicated to Prince-Slytherin; I felt that you'd love this completely corset-free 'submissive' Bella. I aim to please. ;)


	29. Marks, Runes, Cloaks, & LeyLines Oh my!

A/N: Hello Readers! *ducks behind sofa* I know this one is really late, please don't hurt me!

I had an... interesting week. But on the upside I got to exercise my other creative muscles (the artsy ones) and finished a wedding present for my favorite Grandmother. I would like to request that everyone think healthy thoughts for my awesome beta Kraco, who has been under the weather all weekend.

This chapter was supposed to include more happenings but I think you have all waited long enough so I decided to post when I found a good (for me, not necessarily for you) stopping point.

Mood Music: Cary Brothers - If You Were Here.

Content Warning: Graphic Scenes of Gore (In my opinion)

Disclaimer: I don't own it, or make any money off it.

* * *

**Chapter 28 - Marks, Runes, Cloaks, & Ley Lines. Oh my!**

Severus made it through the first week of term before he'd reached his wits end with the nasty little shits that were his students. The first and second year classes had not been extremely terrible, the worst he had to face with them was the constant state of panic he felt as he stalked and hovered through their workstations in an effort to keep them from harm. He'd managed to keep them studiously focused on their tasks enough that only a particularly clumsy first year had been injured, somehow mistaking her fingers for the horned slugs she were supposed to be chopping. The later years however gave him a difficult time. He didn't scare them with his looming over their shoulders, and more often than not he caught snatches of their snickered insults of his person. These older students had been in school during his own school education, and as such he found it near impossible to instill the right amount of respect in them.

By the end of that first week his mood was explosive. His frustration and anger at the situation was enhanced also from his cursed mark, such was it that his ill temperament then spilled over through his connection with Hermione and he felt like hexing everything in the empty classroom. Hermione radiated peace and comfort to him as Severus stormed off through the corridor back to his private quarters.

He went directly to his room and grabbed her journal from his warded nightstand drawer, wanting to have closer contact with her so that he could feel connected and then focus on suppressing his rage. He poured himself a small glass of fire whiskey and sat in his arm chair near his fireplace, her journal placed on his thigh and his other hand laid protectively on the cover.

"Rough day?" Hermione inquired concernedly in his mind. Severus snorted into his glass then downed it's entire contents in a single gulp.

"More like rough week, the nasty little shits have zero respect for me. I feel like I'm reduced to removing points for the tiniest of infractions and that only makes me come off as pathetic." Hermione giggled lightheartedly before she answered.

"I never considered that you would have had to hone your skill at making your students wet themselves in your presence. But if it's any comfort you actually became the most feared teacher at school long before I arrived. It never stopped students from making disparaging comments about you out of earshot, but they were on their best behavior in your presence." She attempted to comfort him. Severus only glowered more, and he slumped into his chair in thought. Then he was struck with a notion that he thought might help him.

"Will you show me your first class?" Severus asked. Hermione seemed to deliberate for a moment before he felt the journal cover grow warm, he opened it to see an ink spot growing on the page, then he quickly dove into the memory.

Severus watched as the students gathered in the corridor, locked out of the classroom until the moment the class was set to begin. He noticed this lulled them into conversing amongst themselves and allowed him to get a sense of their mood before letting them enter his class. His older self made use of a wandless disillusionment to sneak up on and startle the students as they waited for admittance. His quick and jerky movements offset by slinking and smooth motions unnerved them. Severus was surprised to see he made use of a quiet yet ominous lecturing tone, speaking only loud enough to just be heard by every student, forcing them to then strain forward in there seats to be certain they caught everything he said.

The part that Severus found most intriguing and effective in his older self's method was his quiet disappearance during the minutes it took the students to take their seats, then the sudden door banging, cloak billowing entrance, as he stalked across the dark dungeon class room. This startled them into silence and then he used the ensuing foreboding silence to get their full attention. It was brilliant and Severus couldn't wait to implement it.

The memory was short, she showed him up to a very interesting opening lecture for her first year class that sounded poetically creepy in its slow unctuous delivery. He certainly took note of the swotty little miniature of the Hermione he knew, in all her wide eyed and bushy haired glory.

Hermione answered his questions on the persona that she had perceived of him and he took careful note of all the nuances. His older self had embraced his skills as a spy and he used them to prowl the halls and sneak up on unsuspecting wayward students.

Severus decided to take action that very evening even though it was not his night to patrol. He disillusioned himself and then went hunting for students in all the places he knew were the best spots to evade the teachers. He can honestly say he hadn't had so much fun in years. By the end of the night he'd managed to take over 200 points from the entire school, leaving nearly every house with only a handful of points left to them at so early a point in the term. The least amount of points came from Slytherin, as he showed open and blatant favoritism to his own house for it was necessary to his position.

If he had garnered any respect at all before he'd employed his new tactics it had been from the students of his own house, many of whom had parents or elder siblings among the Dark Lords ranks, who no doubt were told that their Head of House could be trusted and that he could look after their needs. He allowed and even incited his Slytherins into spreading their rumors of his suspected dark dealings and then used that suspicion to heighten the fear that he could instill in them. It was because of all this that by the time winter holidays arrived he'd managed to secure his reputation as most hated and feared teacher; merely uttering a students name ominously from the shadows or outside their field of vision could cause each and every one of them to jump in fright.

Frank and Alice on the other hand seemed to become immediate favorites among the whole school. They were most loved by their students and many of the older girls would try to volunteer to care for the young infant they were told they had. Their son Neville was never actually seen by anyone except the other teachers during the occasional staff meeting; he was kept safely ensconced in their private quarters with one or the other parent that wasn't teaching. Severus had to admit a good portion of the Longbottom's credibility among most of the students was due to their time spent as Aurors. They were both very proficient in defense and adding to their skill the students had read of their many successful dealings and battles against the Dark Lord's followers in the papers. They were idolized and looked up to as very heroic figures by their pupils.

The Slytherin students were the only ones who seemed to hold any ill favor with the Defense teachers at first, eyeing them warily as if they thought they would try to pin crimes on them at any moment since they were previous law enforcement. As such they were very guarded and aloof in their Defense classes but to their credit Frank and Alice showed no favoritism to any house. They treated each student on their own merits, and it was due to this that over time even the wariest of Slytherins couldn't help but enjoy their classes and strive to meet their academic demands.

* * *

James looked on as Lily chattered away with her best friend in front of the grand fireplace of the drawing room at Order Headquarters. It was Christmas Eve and this had been the first time they left the safety of their secret kept home since Harry was born, and James was extremely nervous. He kept a low profile, talking mostly with just Sirius and Peter while the senior Order members sat in their strategy meeting. Most of the people in hiding never attended the meetings anymore; they were out of the game, no longer chess pieces available to be maneuvered about the board. However they had all gathered for the Order holiday feast afterward just to be able to get out of their confinement and help keep their sanity.

James was only slightly surprised when Sirius stood and made his announcement at dinner; He and Marlene were engaged. This news lifted everyone's spirits greatly, and the mood throughout the entire company gathered was celebratory and lighthearted for the rest of the evening. Life it seemed was still moving forward and seeing examples of it was just the sort of thing the people who were in hiding needed to see to bolster their fortitude.

Lily even though she was very busy taking care of Harry seemed restless. One of the reasons James consented to leave their home was for her to have a chance to pick up some new spell books from the Prewett's library to keep her preoccupied.

As James was lost in thought watching Lily and Marlene coo and laugh over his son, Sirius approached him with a mischievous grin.

"Such lovely women and thick as thieves." He commented beaming down at his fiancé. James didn't respond how he'd expected, seeming a bit down cast, so Sirius cast about for a different topic that would draw him out.

"Did you hear about those odd messages that Fabian and Gideon found at your parent's old home? It seems that the Death Eaters think that they can increase their numbers just by sending out invitations." Sirius laughed lightheartedly. James finally responded turning a quizzical expression on his friend.

"What are you on about? What messages?"

"Gideon pulled me aside quiet like before dinner and asked me if I'd been trying to bring some people over from the other side. I told him no and he showed me a parchment that had a Dark Mark emblazoned on it. He said they already deactivated the charm on the mark, but they said after studying it thought it might work like a temporary mark, that you could use it to transport yourself to wherever it had been tied to, like a summons." Sirius told him his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. James face went bloodless, and he took a second to collect his wits.

"Well, let's go ask them how many they got. Were they addressed to any one in particular?" He asked trying to sound nonchalant and not walk in a hurried pace to find the twins.

"The one they showed me had my name on it. Their other theory was that the Death Eaters might be trying to send them to people who've gone into hiding maybe as a new way of getting behind the Fidelis, since we figured out the taboo." They found Gideon just leaving the kitchens and moving back across the hall to the large dining room turned conference room, carrying a tray full of refreshments, with shouted instructions following him from the kitchens.

"Hey you got a moment?" James asked him. Gideon flashed him his ready smile and answered,

"Yeah I've got to finishing bringing in the refreshment or mother and Molly will have my head. Get the door for me, mate? I've got summat to show you after the meeting." He said into James's ear as he opened the door for him.

James opened the door and held it open just as the fireplace across the room flared green and a dark figured stepped out into the room a swirl of black billowing robes. The entire room with looks of shock had been focused solely on who it was Dumbledore was inviting in to their very exclusive and private meeting. It wasn't until they realized their dark guest's deep scowl was not directed at them that they all turned round and saw James and Sirius standing outside the door behind a dumbstruck Gideon.

"Thank you James for helping Gideon bring in the refreshments. Close the door please, and do not speak of what you've seen in here." James and Sirius were both beet red with rage, but had no choice but to comply to a direct order as their unbreakable vows demanded. Gideon looked abashed and yet as confused as the rest present, he murmured a quiet apology to the Headmaster.

"Never mind Gideon, I supposed I should have had you all wait until Severus here had arrived before requesting more refreshments." Dumbledore said as he returned to his seat at the head of the table gesturing for Severus to take a seat.

"Albus." Severus hissed warningly as he eyed the people staring daggers at him, making it quite clear that he was not welcome or trusted. Dumbledore again gestured to the vacant chair on his left hand side then turned to address the room.

"Professor Snape has come here at my request, and at great personal risk to help us address the issue of the summons that has shown up." Dumbledore began to explain only to be interrupted by Moody angrily.

"And who says we can trust him? There more dark rumors around him than anyone that is suspect of being a Death Eater. We already question your decision to hire him at the school. Now you'd have us believe he is trustworthy enough to be brought to our Headquarters, to a meeting of our highest members when we have so few that can even still walk in the daylight? Are you mad?" Moody questioned his voice steadily rising. Severus stood behind the chair Dumbledore had offered him and sneered at Moody in contempt, waiting for the hostility to die down some before he sat himself in his chair.

"Severus has my complete and unwavering trust Alastor, he's here today to offer Fabian and Gideon help to see if we can use the summons letters to our advantage." Moody grudgingly sat back in his chair opposite to Severus's, folding his arms across his chest and glowering at him suspiciously, the tension in the room felt ready to snap any moment. Dumbledore looked around at the rest of the members gathered to see if others had any objections and ascertained there were none so he moved on.

"Now you all understand why precautions were taken before the meeting, your wand oaths of silence are imperative to our spy's safety. Much effort and sacrifice has been made to place him in his position. Fabian, you have the floor." At the headmaster's request Fabian stood and cleared his throat before explaining the arrival and conjecture of the summons letters.

Moody seemed to be fully informed on the plan and spent the entire explanation glowering across the table at Severus. Severus returned a contemptuous look at him occasionally but for the most part sat stiffly in his chair with his hands resting, fingers twined, on the table in front of him.

Severus observed the room and the various roles of the people present; Doge, Vance, Diggle and Podmore were senior members who had positions high up in the ministry. They brought in the majority of the Order's inside information on the political maneuverings and suspects for the other side. Hestia Jones was an Unspeakable, working in the Department of Mysteries; she was keeping tabs on the safety of the prophecy and following up on anyone attempting to get access to the Department of Mysteries. Minerva McGonagall was the second in command, and would step in when Dumbledore was not able to lead meetings; she seemed the least surprised by Severus arrival and position as a spy. Alastor Moody was an Auror, and the Prewett twins, Gideon and Fabian, were both curse breakers who worked as private investigators.

"It's our belief that we can possibly use these summons tactically to make an offensive strike and try to capture and take out as many of their numbers as we can." Fabian concluded.

"That's a suicide mission!" Elphias Doge called out in protest, receiving murmurs of assent and nods from Emmeline Vance, Deldalus Diggle, and Sturgis Podmore. Minerva McGonagall merely pursed her lips in consternation while Hestia Jones seemed to agree on taking the offensive. Severus observed that the only likely members of this inner circle that would be suited for such a mission would be Alastor, Gideon, Fabian, and possibly Hestia.

"This is why I have brought in an expert. Severus will help us make a determination on whether is it worth the risk to send our people in." Dumbledore cut in to the buzz of opinions that were being expressed with varying degrees of outrage. The headmaster turned to his left;

"Severus, what can you tell us of the Dark Mark and how it functions?" He asked and the entire room went preternaturally silent as all eyes focused on the spy, Severus resisted the urge to retract his left arm and hide it under the table.

"The Dark Mark is used to assist a blind apparition once it has been activated by the Master Mark. It is also linked to the taboo and will activate when the taboo is broken, this is how the safe houses were being breached. Finally it is a tool used to reward and or punish, drawing on the magic of the marked individual to power the two separate curses embedded into it. The letters you've describe would not have same range of capabilities and I imagine would instead be similar to a Protean charm or inactive Portkey." Severus explained in an apathetic lecture tone. Moody leaned forward in his seat with a look thick with loathing.

"Why don't you tell us all how you come by such expert information?" Moody threatened.

"Alastor." Dumbledore warned but it was too late. Moody lunged the short distance across the table and grabbed Severus's left wrist and jerked it to the center of the table where he used an Incarcerous to bind it in place. Then with a swift follow up flick of his wand caused the spy's sleeve to fly undone, sending little black buttons flying in all directions, and then the cloth bunched up passed his elbow revealing his Dark Mark to the entire room.

Severus knew that drawing his wand in present company would only make the situation worse, so instead he grabbed Moody and held him by the throat sneering at him with his teeth bared. Holding Alastor nose to nose with him since Severus was pinned to the table, he glared down at him, seething at the abuse of his person. A chorus of gasps went around the table as the Dark Mark was revealed, and Moody sputtered and choked as his face began turning red from asphyxiation.

"Enough!" Dumbledore stood disarming Moody then banishing the Incarcerous chains holding Severus's arm pinned to the table only moments after the scuffle.

"Severus, please." Dumbledore entreated him gently to release Moody, he lightly touched Severus on the shoulder. Albus felt the seething anger that Severus was fighting, and Severus in return felt the soothing calm and touch of concern from the Headmaster and it helped to shock him back from the precipice of surrendering to his fury. Severus released his hold on the Auror's throat the moment Albus touched him; shoving Moody back into his chair, who tried not to cough and gasp for air while his face slowly returned to its normal colour.

Severus stood straight and tall, flipping his lank hair from his face, his chair having been shoved away from the table when he was yanked forward out of it. He adjusted his shirt and coat sleeves, wandlessly repairing the damage to it causing all the buttons to zoom back to their positions and stitch themselves back on. He proceeded to work his way down the row of two dozen buttons with a ferocious jerky movements that expressed his dark mood.

"There is no need to attack our spy, Alastor. You will cease with these dramatics." Albus reprimanded Moody who was still rubbing at his sore throat while glowering. The headmaster continued, addressing the whole room. "Yes, Severus is a marked Death Eater which makes him all the more valuable to us. He is NOT hiding that fact from any of you present, however being a marked member as he is, it is imperative that we take every precaution with his Mark until we have studied it fully." He turned back to Moody, "There is no telling what kinds of traps might have been placed in his Mark that you could have unwittingly triggered Alastor." Giving him a stern eye. Moody looked completely unrepentant.

Severus finished buttoning his sleeve and jerked it straight before turning to Dumbledore.

"Perhaps it might be best if the Prewetts and I saw to that sooner rather than later as to ease everyone's distress at my presence."

"Very well, while the three of you confer the rest of can enjoy their refreshments and allow the shock and adrenaline to wear off." Albus agreed, dismissing Severus and the Prewetts to their work.

* * *

Severus followed the twins to the far side of the room and they pulled a few chairs together in a small circle. Severus found himself under two expectant expressions as the brothers waited patiently for him to reveal his Dark Mark once again. Severus growled and with exasperation he began working his way up the many buttoned coat sleeve. Fabians eyes twinkled mirthfully at him.

"Rethinking the choice of having all them buttons now aren't yeh?" Both brothers snickered and bumped shoulders at the dig. Severus just narrowed his eyes and sneered at them as he rolled back his sleeve.

"You ought to consider making a buttoning charm for yerself." Gideon interjected peacefully, trying to keep from making him hostile.

As curse breakers they were adept at reading magical aura's and detecting wards and traps, like a sort of sixth sense. Severus's magical aura was normally very benign and unobtrusive, very tightly contained, and easily overlooked but when he got angry like what they had observed minutes before with Alastor, his magical energies raged wildly with a much more powerful and sinister note than anything seen in your average person.

Gideon even still had some left over raised hairs on the back of his neck from the confrontation, but what they found curious was how quickly Severus had managed to switch it off at Dumbledore's command. Although it was because of that display that they certainly didn't doubt the headmaster's ability to control him, only they hoped he'd always be nearby to do so when it mattered.

Gideon cast the revealing spell that would allow them to see the runes that made up the magical programming of the Dark Mark.

"It's Elder Futhark entirely" Fabian said while his brother pulled a notebook from the breast pocket of his flannel shirt along with a shrunken quill and ink well and returned them to their original size.

"Ah yes see there?" Fabian pointed out to his brother who leaned in an squinted in the direction he was showing.

"That would be the reward and punishment that Severus told us about. The Snake sigil has the Wunjo." Fabian pointed out.

"That would be the reward and/or pleasure half then." Gideon finished his thought for him. Severus stiffened and they looked up at him in askance for his input.

"Voluptas." Severus told them. They both exchanged a look of mixed revulsion and pity before diving back into their examination.

"Yes and here it is again, the Wunjo reversed over the Skull sigil denoting the punishment, crippling half." Fabian said and Gideon scribbled in the notebook before he looked up at Severus questioningly.

"Crucio for that one?" Gideon asked looking up from his scribbling only long enough to see Severus nod.

Severus tried not to let this complete invasion of his privacy get to him but he couldn't help that the blood drained from his face, or that his heart rate increased exponentially. They were being really thorough, and he was afraid of what else they would see, he was just barely considering that the alteration of his mark might be discovered by them, and all that it might imply about him would come into question. They didn't seem to take notice of his discomfort, fully absorbed in their task.

"Oh here we go, there's the reversed Uruz, denoting the servants mark, just as we have seen on the marked letters. It is also connected by the Raidho, for travel, so this must be the spell that is used to guide the servant to the master. Very sophisticated, yes! Look Gideon, see how he's linked the taboo to the Raidho with the inverted Algiz coming off the bottom?" Fabian said excitedly as he studied the glowing symbols that hovered and shimmered over Severus's Dark Mark. Severus tried to peer around their heads to see what they were seeing, wondering to himself why he'd never thought to look over his Mark's runic make-up.

"Hang on, what's that faint red rune behind the reversed Uruz? See just there? That doesn't look like a Futhark rune." Gideon pointed out.

"Red that usually indicates blood, or fire and then it's a really dark hue so there is no mistaking it represents something to do with either energy, war, danger, strength, or power." Fabian thought out loud.

Severus looked at the rune they were referring to and he saw it for what it was immediately; a composite Futhark rune. It was a Uraz rune for strength, power, mastery, and dominance and it was encircled and bound within an Othala, meaning unequivocally inheritance or birthright. Then cleverly hidden in the composite was both the forward and reverse Thurisaz pair. When the Thurisaz was paired with it's opposite in this way it was commonly known as the compulsion rune. Severus felt a surge of anger at the implications of this rune and then saw in horror as the faint glow from the rune in question intensified as the rune became active right in front of him, both brothers noticed and said in wide-eyed unison.

"What did you do?"

Severus tried to shrug nonchalantly as he focused on tamping down his anger behind his occlusion, forcing the compulsion curse to fade back into stasis. He only vaguely heard them debating the possible runic alphabet this rune could belong to, and for a moment Severus was grateful they had a extensive runic vocabulary than him and didn't see it in it's simplicity, as merely a composite Elder Futhark. The last thing he needed was for them to make the connection of his parentage or the control the Dark Lord could truly have over him.

"Look how odd it is though, I've never seen a gobbledygook rune hide inactive behind another that way, to lay dormant until triggered and why would he ignore the fundamental laws of runic stability and mix two separate alphabets?"

Gideon argued at something his brother had said that Severus had not been listening too, but he'd had enough he couldn't let them take their examination any further. He canceled the revealing spell and jerked his arm from Fabian's grasp, pulling his sleeve down into place before quickly buttoning his cuffs.

"I think you've learned all you can from poking and pawing at me like a test rat, I have other duties to attend to. You were going to let me examine the marked letters." Severus gave them a blank expression augmented with a single high arching brow.

Since there was nothing else for the two curse breakers to discover of the Dark Mark that Severus had not already told them or that they didn't have extensive notes on, they conceded and brought out one of the still active marked letters. By the end of Severus's scrutiny of it they had conceded to his theory on the summons letter being more akin to a protean charm activated by a password and very similar to a portkey. Severus felt fairly confident that it was the work of one of the Death Eaters, probably in an attempt to complete the capture of their assigned targets and said as much to the twins.

"How were they delivered?" Severus inquired as he flipped it over and saw James's name and the late Potter's residence written below it.

"By owl it appears." Answered Fabian, then Gideon spoke what was on his mind.

"We had a thought that they might have been recruitment invitations but considering who they were addressed to it's more likely they were intended to use to breach our wards. I mean they can't really have believed that an invitation was all that it'd take to get James, Sirius and Peter to defect can they?" Gideon laughed at the stupidity of the notion. Severus wasn't amused he continued his study of the paper and muttered under his breath.

"It'd take less, in my opinion."

Fabian and Gideon both looked at each other significantly, both noticing that same wildy and sinister feeling edge creep into Severus's magical aura only to be chased away again, just like the confrontation with Moody, and then that moment when the unknown rune flared active. It was something they would definitely have to bring to the headmasters attention now.

Though to be fair they held some suspicion for the favored trio just like Severus appeared to. They along with Moody thought it strange that the headmaster required unbreakable vows from those three and no one else among the order, not to mention the very obvious loss of their favor. Then there was their exclusion from the strategy meetings that was conveniently explained away as it being unnecessary and too dangerous to include members who were in hiding.

"What do you know about it Snape?" Fabian asked bluntly. Severus grimaced at his lack of care then put on a sneer to salvage the situation.

"Surely you are aware that I least of anyone has any reason to believe in their good intentions. They are and will always be nothing more than arrogant scum to me." He spat, this seemed to appease the two and they completed the rest of their study of the letter in silence.

Once finished it was agreed on that it would be possible to use the two remaining letters to form a surprise attack, the letters were probably almost a year old as it had been that long since anyone had been in residence at the Potters home, so they all agreed that if they waited a little longer they could very well have a decent surprise attack on their hands.

Having finished his task Severus took his leave and returned to his quarters at the school, and the twins took the moment following the meeting when everyone was dispersing to nab the headmaster and ask for a private audience from him before he left.

Once they were alone the brothers outlined everything that they had learned about Severus's mark. They showed him the unidentified rune and explained how it seemed to activate and then deactivate, also explaining the shift in Severus's magical aura when it did so. Dumbledore applauded them for being very thorough and then diverted the topic to the marked letters, and as he'd hoped, their enthusiasm for their attack plan overrode their curiosity.

It wasn't until they were discussing the intricacies of the Dark Mark and revisiting the mystery rune that they realized the misdirection. Thankfully they had neither noticed the pale anxiety that came over the headmaster for a moment before he hid it behind his ever present twinkle, otherwise they might have given more credence to the purpose and reason for the misdirection in the first place. They might have asked themselves what Dumbledore knew about Severus, why it scared him, and why he tried to hide it.

From Hogwarts Severus left for Morgraig where he would be spending the rest of his holiday. Unfortunately, ever since he'd allowed the use of his ancestral home in place of the Malfoys, he'd been expected to live in it when he was not at the school so that he could receive any visitors the Dark Lord might need to host. Thankfully however he passed the entire holiday in peace since the Dark Lord still had not returned from wandering the globe in pursuit of who knows what. The only indication of Voldemort's possible whereabouts had come from Karkaroff who Severus had been exchanging correspondence with on various teaching topics. Karkaroff made mention that he'd been paid a visit by "a notable mutual acquaintance" who had many questions about the records of Gellert Grindelwald, and the places he was listed to have lived.

* * *

Near the end of the holiday break Severus took this information to Dumbledore hoping that he might know the significance of what the Dark Lord would be searching for that had to do with his childhood friend. It seemed to strike a chord with Dumbledore as he was lost in thought for several moments after Severus delivered the information, Severus waited for some time before interrupting his thoughts.

"You seem to see some significance in this news; might I ask what it is?" Severus asked politely. Dumbledore looked up at him and smiled apologetically.

"Alas, this is information that is best kept to myself until I can confirm a few things. Nothing for you to fret over now, but I promise if it becomes relevant I will share with you."

Severus merely nodded; he wasn't willing to press further knowing that Dumbledore had many regrets wrapped up in his dealings with the first Dark Wizard.

Once Severus had left Dumbledore took action immediately, and left for Order Headquarters.

He knew the person he was looking for would still be visiting for the holiday. He found James in the drawing room playing chess with Sirius. Lily, Marlene and Mary sat conversing on the floor with Harry laid out on a blanket where he could kick his chubby little legs freely in the warmth of the fire. Peter sat off in one corner with a book pretending to read it while greedily observing the group gathered around the fire.

Dumbledore shook his head at such a shy Gryffindor he was, believing that he was jealous of his two friends and the pretty woman that they had each acquired. There was no doubt in his mind that Peter was far from using enough nerve to approach a woman he found attractive, he would likely remain single for a long time as a result.

Every face in the room brightened when they saw the Headmaster joining them, all but the one he was there to see. James attempted to keep his anxiety from being plainly visible on his face but was not successful at hiding his tension, polite greetings exchanged to all Albus turned to James and said,

"I require a moment of your time James, if you don't mind my stealing him from you a few moments." He said politely back to the rest of the room. James merely nodded then stood and followed him out in silence. Dumbledore took him to the empty library across the hall and set privacy wards on the room to deter interruption of eavesdropping. This caused James to break into a light sweat as he feared for what the headmaster wanted of him.

"There is no reason to be alarmed James, it's merely a precaution." Dumbledore told him slightly chuffed that James was still cowed by him.

"Of course." James replied, his throat dry.

"I have a request, I was wondering if I might borrow your invisibility cloak for some time. It's a mere academic curiosity, a challenge to see if I can recreate its superior qualities, would you mind terribly?" Dumbledore said congenially putting every bit of effort into his twinkly doddering ways, to put James at ease. James seemed to be a bit surprised by the friendliness of it but seemed to relish the absence of animosity between them. He latched onto the moment with voracity hoping to be able to bridge the gap his betrayal had caused between them.

"Absolutely, of course I don't mind at all. I can run up and get it from our room at once." James agreed practically falling over himself in his effort to be gracious.

"Wonderful, I thank you my boy. I'll wait for you right here. "Answered Dumbledore laying the act on thick, twinkling at James as he dashed from the room to retrieve the item requested.

It wasn't until Dumbledore returned to his quarters at Hogwarts and placed the cloak in a heavily warded chest that he allowed himself to take a deep breath in relief.

Now he knew he had to find out what had happened to the third and final artifact that was given and passed down through a different family line. He felt at least at ease that the one remaining was the only one of the three artifacts that Tom would never desire to have, nor could he use for any nefarious purpose, unless it was to torment his own conscience.

_If he even has one _Dumbledore thought to himself as he considered all the atrocities that Tom Riddle had committed.

* * *

The members of the Order of the Phoenix were shocked from their long months of growing complacency when in late spring of 1981 the notable and talented muggle born Benjy Fenwick, was brutally attacked and murdered. Benjy had followed the advice of the Order and gone into hiding for his safety. His one mistake lay in the belief that he would be safe enough, after so many months of peace, to try to visit his muggle parents when his father fell ill.

Benjy left his safe house and was met by two Death Eaters awaiting him on his parent's doorstep. He fought back courageously; many of the neighbors witnessed the ferocity that he fought with. His mother stayed indoors in the upstairs bedroom with his bed ridden father, and saw the entire battle and watched as her son was brutally destroyed. It was through her testimony that they were able to put Avery Jr. under suspicion of being a Death Eater, when his mask was knocked off by one of Benjy's attacks.

By the time the Aurors arrived on scene the battle was over and the Death Eaters escaped. There was nothing left of Benjy's body for his poor mother to even be able to bury the next week when she attended the funeral services for both her husband and her son.

This terrible crime impressed once again on those in hiding how very real and violent the threats against them still were and collectively, if unconsciously, they all vowed to remain vigilant.

It was then that Moody began coining the phrase "Constant Vigilance", reminding everyone he came in contact with in a gruff barked order while glaring at them from behind his disfigured nose, which only drove the message home. Moody was most affected by the death of the young man that he'd been mentoring and encouraging to enter a career in Magical Law Enforcement before he'd been targeted and forced into hiding. The murder also made the Order angry; such that even the members of the Order that before were reluctant to take the offensive were now willing to take the risk to try to take down as many of their enemies as they could, and planning for their surprise attack began to move forward with shocking speed.

* * *

Regulus felt as if the looming anxiety of his task was draining the very life out of him. For months he'd been finished with his apprenticeship and he was now weighing his options for his future career, but he couldn't help but feel apathetic about it. He didn't even know if he would manage to live beyond the task that was set for him. He tried not to be so morbid but his lack of anything to occupy him left him with more time than he'd wanted to think about his situation.

He was just sitting about waiting for the Dark Lord to return from his travels knowing that his task was imminent.

Well not exactly just sitting around but it certainly felt like a boring life after the year and half long perpetual adventure that had been his apprenticeship. He traveled the entire globe; saw so many diverse magical communities. Fought their way through traps and curses inside old catacombs, or even a few new structures, from grand expansive estates to cave systems deep in the mountains where human life had not been seen for ages. And now the highlight of his week was being asked around to his cousins the Malfoys to examine a rare tome Lucius had acquired to make sure it was safe to keep in the main Library.

Regulus sighed in boredom he wished Remus had not gone to ground after his parents were killed. He knew Remus was having a hard time dealing with it but he'd wanted to at least be there for him. It was hard not to worry about him, knowing that he would be suffering every full moon. He refused to keep in touch and Severus had no way of getting the Wolfsbane to him, Regulus would give anything to be able to talk to either of his friends the way they once had. Unfortunately their different roles really pulled them apart, forcing them each down separate paths on their own.

It was while he was thus engaged in his moping when Regulus felt his Dark Mark burn with a summoning. It was almost as if wishing to be moving on with life and his task had made it so. He quickly donned his cloak and mask and then with a deep breath twisted on the spot following the summons to the Dark Lord's side. When he arrived he did a double take for a moment as he recognized Severus's Library at Morgraig, though greatly diminished if you had been one to see it in its previous state. He'd known that Severus had offered his home in exchange for the Malfoys to keep his godson far from any of their dark dealings; but this was the first time being confronted with the reality of it. He looked around the room and saw the Dark Lord at the far end of the room looking through a text, paying him no mind. Regulus removed his mask and clasped it in his hands behind his back while he waited to be addressed.

"Regulus, how are your parents?" The Dark Lord asked him when he looked up from his book, Regulus was a little bit surprised at the question and hesitated briefly before answering haltingly.

"My mother is in excellent health, I thank you. My father is still trying to recover from the dragon pox he picked up while traveling a month ago, my lord." He tried to be discreet in his scrutiny of the Dark Lord.

The was something different about him, his magical aura was much more stable than it had been the last time he'd seen him, which was right after the blood rites so well over a year had past. Regulus had been told by Severus that the Dark Lord had managed to seal his leak, but it almost seemed as if he'd changed the resonance of his aura.

It became a sort of second nature to practiced curse breakers to be sort of feeling out and sampling the magical energies around them. It was how they were able to locate traps and wards, and it was also very hard to maintain. Regulus thought it could be most likened to Legilimency for magic and energy, rather than for thoughts and emotions.

There wasn't an actual name for it either it came as a sort of awareness after opening your magical senses to those around you. Most magical beings experienced it on some level, mostly when another wizard was feeling extreme emotion, anger being the most common; one could feel the force of their magic just begging to be released and to do the casters bidding.

It was the main tool Voldemort had for conveying his evil gravitas to those near him; holding his magical energies in a constant state, as if at any moment he would unleash it on you and it had a feeling of heavy sinister sharpness. Like drawing a razor sharpened blade widthwise across your skin it made you flinch in fear, hoping that it didn't decide to change directions and run lengthwise and cut you clear through.

Before the Dark Lord's magical energy seemed like an oppressive and heavy sludge, like hot tar, or an acidic sizzle on your skin as if the air was thick with fumes that pressed in on you. Now his magic felt more focused, controlled with a precise clarity, and left Regulus with a sickening impression of foreboding.

The Dark Lord didn't seem to really care for an answer to his question he merely assessed Regulus for a brief moment as Regulus was doing to him, he shelved the book then approached Regulus.

"Your family has a house elf in its possession, yes?" he asked as he walked past Regulus and began to leave the Library in a steady but leisurely pace. Regulus followed him out trying to contain his anxiety. They had expected this and Regulus had already given Kreacher his orders on what to do. Severus had prepared the antidote to the Drink of Despair shortly after having learned of the lockets creation and two vials of it were hidden in his cloak in an undetectable extended pocket, charmed to be unbreakable. Hidden alongside the vials was the fake locket.

"Yes we do my Lord."

"I require your elf, summon him for me." Voldemort demanded as he moved through the house down in the cellars where Severus had an impressive potions lab set up.

"Kreacher." The wrinkly old elf appeared moments later, and bowed graciously to Regulus.

"The Dark Lord requires your assistance." Regulus enunciated carefully the code phrase that would tell his loyal elf what to expect. Kreacher's eyes narrowed and he looked sidelong at the Dark Lord who had his back turned to them, looking at the worktable in front of him, Kreacher looked back to Regulus who gave him a nod that was returned imperceptibly.

"As you say my master, Kreacher will do as your Dark Lord commands." The elf awaited his instructions. Voldemort was busy decanting a green phosphorescent liquid into a large glass flask that Regulus was sure was the Drink of Despair. It answered a question they had long wondered, would Voldemort ask his son to brew it or would he brew it himself. It wasn't an overly complicated brew; rather the ingredients were extremely hard to come by, it required some of the darkest and foulest magic to procure. As the Dark Lord finished his task he looked over his shoulder at Regulus.

"That will be all. You are dismissed." He told him and then turned to the elf giving it a critical sweep of his eye.

"Thank you my Lord." Regulus bowed and shot a parting glance at the elf as he made his way outside the apparition wards and returned to Grimmauld Place to wait for Kreacher to return. He felt anxious for his elf, not wanting to cause him suffering and wondering how a person might reward an elf for their good behavior.

* * *

It was four hours later and a heavy path worn into the polished floors of the basement kitchen, before the pop of Kreachers arrival sounded behind Regulus interrupting his pacing. The keening whine and wheezing coming from Kreacher was the first thing he heard and it sent chills across his spine he quickly grabbed the vial he had set out and rushed to where the poor elf had collapsed in the far corner of the kitchen.

Regulus tried to steady the elf that shook violently as he sobbed and seemed to have hallucinations tormenting his vision. He managed to put the potion to his lips and brought the elf some relief while Regulus took in the extent of his injuries. He had dirty streaks down his face from the tears he had shed, one if his ears had a chunk torn from it that looked suspiciously like it was bitten off. Further study of him found similar wounds on his arms and legs with jagged crater like wounds. His left forearm revealed the most damage, bare of muscle and sinew revealing the bone, the muscle was completely torn away and it's remnants bunched up among the shreds of skin near his elbow. It looked as if something had been trying to eat him alive, Regulus was horrified but quickly sprang to action running from the room to collect some Dittany and a pain potion for the tortured elf. Returning he urged the elf to lie flat on the floor so that he could see to his injuries.

"You are all right now Kreacher, I'll get you taken care of so you won't hurt any more. You've done so well. You are a great elf Kreacher. Come on now. Shhh it will only sting for a moment." Regulus spoke to him soothingly as he applied the Dittany.

The antidote was taking a firmer hold on him so the pained moans and tears were subsiding. Regulus pulled out his wand and had to use an extensive knitting charm to try to repair the torn muscle in his arm then he applied Dittany to the few remaining shreds of skin that had not been ripped away. By the time he was done he'd used nearly the entire bottle repairing all the bite marks. In some places there had been so much flesh eaten that even after being healed they were left with indentations under the newly grown skin.

It took him over an hour to attend all the injuries, and by that time he was finally able to give him a pain potion, sure by now that it wouldn't react with ingredients of the antidote.

"Do you need anything else Kreacher? You can ask me for anything, you've been so strong." Regulus told him rubbing his hand over the elf's nearly hairless head affectionately.

"Kreacher will get himself some water sir." The elf said trying to stand.

"No, you stay there, I'll get the water." Regulus went to fetch it followed by a grumble from the elf.

"Master should not be doing an elf's work; master should not be doing 'is work." Kreacher complained. Regulus retuned with a large water goblet and crouched in front of the elf and pressed it into his hands.

"What would you have from me then, if you do not want me to help you? I must repay you for this service, it was above and beyond your duties." Regulus told him gently, not wanting to anger the elf.

"Kreacher lives and dies to serve the noble house of Black." Kreacher said proudly. Regulus smiled and him and shook his head.

"Very well, you are the very best servant then Kreacher. Only tell me what you want, I need to be going to the place you just left and I want to make sure you have what you desire as reward before I go." Regulus explained seriously.

"No master must not go back. Master will die! There are terrible dead things that bite at you and drag you down and terrible demons that torment your insides where you can't get away! Master cannot go!" Kreacher lunged up and grabbed onto Regulus arms beseechingly, sending his goblet flying carelessly and it shattered on the floor, Regulus quickly repaired the glass and set it on the long table beside them.

"Kreacher this is my task, I must go. You will take me there. What can I give you?" Regulus asked. Kreacher moaned and cried, and pulled at his ears in torment. Then he looked up at Regulus pleadingly.

"Please! Master must let Kreacher come, Master must allow Kreacher to keep master safe; this is what Kreacher wants." Regulus sighed he had been afraid it would turn out this way; he hadn't wanted to cause the poor elf any more torment.

"OK Kreacher, take us there please." Regulus held out his hand to the elf that was beside himself at being allowed to come along and be of service to his master, Kreacher grabbed his hand and they zipped away.

They landed on rocky ground in utter darkness save for the sickly green glow that came from a deep basin situation on a pedestal not far from them. The first thing that Regulus became aware of was the oppressing weight of an anti-magic ward he'd rarely encountered such a ward because of the amount of magical draw they required.

The only known place where an active anti-magic ward existed was at Glastonbury Tor where a huge epicenter of ley lines converged making it a powerful source for the anti-magic zone to draw from. To be able to remove such wards as you were cut off from accessing your own magical stores, you had to reach out and harness the source and use it to disable the ward. However, the Tor's source was so potent that no one had managed to harness the ley magic. Anyone that had ever attempted it ended up completely bereft of their own magic, and lived the rest of their days as a squib.

It was legend that Merlin himself had placed the anti-magic ward on the Tor to protect this crucial convergence of ley lines from greedy power hungry warlocks who sought to absorb power from these magical focal points.

If this is what Voldemort had been preparing for all these months; going around and bolstering his own magic by absorbing the energies that pooled within the intersecting ley lines, it would explain the sharp focused feel of his magical aura that Regulus had noticed earlier that day. It would also mean that where ever this cave was located it sat atop a ley convergence.

He focused on the feel of the magical energies around him from what he could tell, the ward was not particularly powerful so the source was probably only a convergence of two or three ley lines. Most powerful epicenters had ancient magics tied to them that shut them off from the general magical populace. Much the way Severus was the Steward of Avebury, though the smaller convergences were so many that they were not guarded at all. As it so happens, however, there hadn't been any wizards who sought to absorb their power since Merlin's era, for such a greedy action upset the magical balance and had dire effects on the magical populace, human and non-human alike. The rise in magicless offspring from magical parents could be directly correlated to the loss of each ley convergence not that Voldemort had any scruples against destroying the magical community for his own avarice.

Regulus approached the basin just as his eyes were beginning to adjust to the darkness, Kreacher clung to his leg looking around them nervously for signs of the creatures that he'd so recently come under attack from.

"Kreacher, the anti-magic ward doesn't affect you? You were able to apparate us inside it?" Regulus questioned him.

"Kreacher always seeks to complete the masters bidding." Kreacher told him unhelpfully, Regulus frowned.

"If you could use your magic why didn't you defend yourself when you were attacked?" Regulus asked confused.

"Master did not require Kreacher to defend himself, Master required that Kreacher do as the Dark Lord commanded and once he'd left, to return home." Kreacher informed him distractedly while he still scanned around them nervously, clearly terrified but held in place by his desire to serve.

"So if I order you to use your magic here, you could use it? The anti-magic ward will not stop you?" Regulus tried to understand. Elves had such a strange customs and such a powerful and overlooked magic by the wizards that they chose to serve.

"Yes, Kreacher can use his magic however the master requires it, elves can always ignore wards if the master requires it." He answered looking up at Regulus with a look as if he'd asked a most ridiculous question. Regulus was dumbfounded, but quickly sought to make use of the information.

"Kreacher use your magic however you see fit; to fight, defend, or escape, is that clear?" Regulus told him. Kreacher responded by snapping his fingers and lighting up the area around them revealing a small rocky island in the middle of an underground lake.

"Yes Master."

They approached the basin and Regulus looked within it. He could see the faint outline of the necklace resting in the bottom. He tried to reach for it but his hand was stopped at the liquids surface as if barred by a ward. He frowned because he didn't detect any ward, so he was confused as to what was stopping him.

"Kreacher there seems to be a ward on the basin; can you reach through it and grab that necklace at the bottom?" He asked.

"No master, it is not a ward it is just the potion but Kreacher can drink the potion like the Dark Lord made him." Kreacher offered though from his shudder it was quite clear he did not look forward to the prospect.

"No Kreacher, you must help me to drink it, make sure I drink it all." Regulus removed the antidote and the fake locket and handed them to the elf.

"When you can reach the locket switch it with this one, and then give me the antidote." Regulus told him. The elf nodded solemnly and conjured a small bowl to scoop the potion with.

The potion once drunk took effect immediately, it caused severe full body pain and abdominal cramping that made Regulus grasp his middle and collapse on the hard rocky surface of the island. He curled into a fetal position and then grasped his head as he was tortured by images of all his worst nightmares, and the horrors and regret of all his failings. He was insensate under the potency of his despair, and had he been able to complete a thought he would have been able to be grateful that Kreacher had come along with him to help him finish his task. It only took two large scoops using the bowl conjured for the elf to be able to reach the locket and make the exchange. As the elf was completing his task, Regulus was overcome with his thirst and crawled to the water's edge, reaching in and cupping his hands to take a drink and sate his unquenchable thirst.

The lake began to churn and boil and Kreacher made an unearthly screech when he realized what his Master had done.

"No Master mustn't! It calls the dead things, Kreacher pulled him back to the center of the island as swarms of Inferis began jerkily crawling out of the water in search of their prey. Kreacher began firing magic at them, blasting them backwards but never completely harming them. His attacks drew the attention of the Inferis and they all shifted their focus to him and he moved away from his master trying to lead them back to the water. But there were too many and they surrounded the diminutive elf, and some were pulling him down faster than the elf could get them off him.

Regulus saw his elf losing the battle and then realized that the elf had left the antidote in his hands, trying his best to exert control over his violently shaking hands he popped the cork and drank the potion. Relief washed over him with slow creeping warmth that gradually built in power. He had to do something to help Kreacher; he refused to let him die. Regulus reached out and grabbed onto the magical energy in the ley lines and drew it within himself the way he's practice with much smaller sources. He gritted his teach against the burn of the power that rushed through him, but he had hold of it enough to command it. He conjured a huge wall of fire surrounding the whole rocky island and then began directing jets of fire to blast the Inferis within back outside the protective circle.

The more he pulled on the ley energy the more intoxicated with the power he became; he felt invincible, immortal, and endless. Regulus let out a maniacal laugh and he pulled hard on the ley energy until he had absorbed it all.

"No Master you mustn't, it is too much!" Kreacher warned but Regulus was not in control. The energies had been altered and tampered with and they burned through him gleefully, Regulus realized what was happening and tried to regain control and shut the magic down, he directed it to the anti-magic ward and shut it down with ease, but he was still overflowing with power that was raging through him unchecked. Regulus panicked but there was nothing he could do the energy ricocheted from where he had commanded it to disable the ward, and shot back through him; traveling from his head down through his feet and returned to its source deep within the earth, where it thrummed angrily.

Regulus collapsed to his knees panting and shaking, all his nerves throughout his body sizzled from where the malevolent energy had burned its way through him. He stayed there in complete shock wondering how everything could have gone so wrong. He knew instinctively and felt the absence acutely; his magic was completely gone.

* * *

*runs away cackling maniacally*


	30. A Darker Turn (8,413)

A/N: Yay got the Update finished before the wedding! (thanks everyone who sent well wishes!) Much thanks to Kraco for her late night Beta'ing after work. She is LE BEST! Now a quick word of advice. Do not read if descriptions of Non-con/Rape disturbs you, OR if you are a minor! This story is FIRMLY MATURE for a reason. However I have the worst part marked as always, So when you see ~*~ you can skip down to the next chapter break to avoid the details. It's a much darker chapter people, you've been warned!

Mood Music: 'Our Last Hope" by Two Steps From Hell, Skyworld album

**CONTENT WARNING: MATURE, RATED R, 17+ ONLY, NSFW: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, CHARACTER DEATH, RAPE; **

_************to skip rape scene when you see ~*~ jump down to the next chapter break.********* **_

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money!

* * *

**Chapter 29: A Darker Turn**

If not for the loyalty and diligence of his elf Regulus was not sure he would have remembered that they needed to get out of the cursed cave before the Inferis possibly returned. Kreacher whined and moaned in distress, feeling the absence and complete loss of his masters magic. He hovered around his master for a few minutes waiting for him to come out of his shock, until ultimately the elf just grabbed him and took them far away, with the evil necklace gripped firmly in his grasp.

Kreacher knew that master would not be safe in his parents home, as master had told him they were followers of the Dark Lord and he must always make them believe that master and Kreacher were as well. Kreacher would never disobey his master, and he would always keep his master secrets. So he took him to the only other place he knew of that the master would be safe from the Dark Lord; he took him to Hogwarts.

The elves of Hogwarts were always ready to help another elf down on his luck, they certainly would help a former student and friend to the potions master, Kreacher was sure. He brought his magicless master where no other human had been since the school was built, to the elves own living quarters. It was a large section all the way at the very bottom of the castle that had an expansive catacomb of elf nests. It was the closest thing the elves had to a city as it was the largest gathering of house elves under a single roof. As soon as he arrived with his master, elves surrounded him and he told them what the master had been through. Gasps and whispers echoed through the gathered elves,

"No magic."

"It's all gone."

"A poor burned one."

They quickly helped his poor master into a larger nest where he could rest as he was still in shock and had been mute and unresponsive. Kreacher needed to find the potions master, he would know how to help his master. Once he felt sure his master was well-tended by the elf mothers he left and appeared inside the potions master's office. There he waited for him to return not realizing he still carried the ugly necklace that cost his master his magic.

Severus finished his patrol and considered taking another lap since he was not tired but then thought better of it, he never knew when he would be called to the Dark Lords side or how much he would need to depend on his clarity of mind. It would be a careless risk for him to take. On his way to his rooms he decided to visit his office and pick up a stack of papers to grade, there he was met by a very distraught and beat up house elf that he recognized as belonging to Regulus.

"Kreacher isn't it?" Severus asked as he entered the room.

"Yes Master Snape, Kreacher is here to beg Master Snape to help poor Master Regulus. Please you must help him!" Kreacher begged. Severus immediately felt alarmed, was he hurt, did he not make it away from his task?

"What happened, where is he?" Severus asked.

"Kreacher brought him to the elves of Hogwarts sir, there was no place else Kreacher knew to go. Master Regulus has lost his magic. It's all gone not, even a trace of it left! Master Snape must help him!" Kreacher begged grabbing on to Severus's legs. Severus crouched down so he was eye level with the elf and steadied him with both hands on his boney shoulders.

"Have the elves bring your Master to my quarters I will take care of him. You need to get back to your family before they realize you have been gone. Remember, you know nothing about your Master or what happened to him and you are never to be seen outside Grimmald Place until the Dark Lord is dead. Do you understand?" Severus impressed on him, seriously the elf nodded then remembered the necklace and gave it to the potions master.

"This is what Master wanted. He told Kreacher before that he could trust Master Snape with it." Kreacher said with a wet sniff. Severus took the locket with a shaky hand then thanked the elf before it popped out of existence. Severus stowed the necklace in his robes then made for his quarters. He arrived to find Regulus being tended by a handful of elves who hovered about mothering him on the sofa where he sat dazed. Severus quickly hid the locket in a safe place, warding it then he turned back to see what he could do for Regulus, having to argue with the elves that he would call them if he needed further assistance.

Regulus sat on the sofa with a far away look, it was clear he was near catatonic. Severus moved to get him a glass of firewhiskey hoping the strong drink would help to calm and sooth him. Severus crouched in front of his knees looking up into his face worriedly as he offered him the drink. Regulus took the drink in hand and took an absent sip.

"It's gone, Severus." He said then he started to cry, Severus took the drink and set it aside before he put his hand around his friends head and pulled it to his shoulder. Regulus gripped his shoulders tightly as he was overcome by his grief, pained by the acute feeling of loss. Severus rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

"It's ok, we can work with this. You are alive, that's an improvement from the last time." Severus told him wincing at how terrible he was at this comforting business. He pushed his friend away holding his head.

"Let's see what a diagnostic can tell us. Then we've got to figure out what our next step is for you, and how we will keep you safe." Regulus nodded and wiped at his face, taking a few deep breaths.

The diagnostic showed him that he was completely magically drained, it also showed extensive damage to his magical pathways. Even squibs showed the proper magical pathways with the very little magic that they possessed flowing through them. Regulus's on the other hand, appeared to be burned shut and Severus could only hope that they could find something to treat it and over time heal the scarring that was shutting him off from controlling magic. But none of that would happen until after he replenished his magical stores and that could take years.

Severus contacted the headmaster through the floo and requested him to join them. Once Albus had stepped through the floo he ran his own tests on Regulus confirming his findings and offered much more comforting words for the young man than Severus had managed.

"I would not feel comfortable sending you out into the world so wholly unprotected, but I do believe I have a solution that you may find acceptable. Our current Caretaker Mr. Pringle is long overdue for retirement, his methods for corporal punishment are written into his contract as his means for maintaining order, and it is something I have long wished to change. If you are amenable to playing the part I can put you under a powerful Glamour to disguise you. You would have to do most of the caretakers duties without your magic until it returns or we find a way to heal you." Dumbledore explained to Regulus in full twinkle. It was clear he was quite pleased with his idea, and it was not news to anyone his desire to sack old Apollyon Pringle, as they'd frequently disagreed on the caretaker's methods used to punish misbehaving students.

Regulus agreed and Severus was surprised when he let out a sigh of relief, he really hadn't wanted his friend to go out into the world to live a life as a muggle, so he was more than just a little relieved that he would be within the safety of Hogwarts walls. Dumbledore approached Regulus with his wand out tapping it on his lip and he considered Regulus briefly then casting a succession of glamours, straightening his hair then changing it to a dingy brown shot through with grey, he changed his features to that of a middle-aged man with a craggy unshaven face and eyes that were suited for bulging in anger, making him appear rather eccentric at fist glance. Dumbledore then recommended he spend a week or so relaxing and working on his cover's personality. Regulus's altered face grinned taking on a rather creepy and menacing look then they both bid the headmaster goodbye.

In the coming weeks Headmaster Dumbledore managed to oust Mr. Pringle and get a new contract drawn up for the position of Caretaker of Hogwarts removing the statutes for corporal punishment. He started a rumor that made its way to the gossip pages of the Daily Prophet, stating that he was struggling to find a candidate to fill the position due to the extreme changes he'd made in the power the position held to discipline the students. Then Dumbledore appearing to be harassed by the bloodthirsty reporters gave a statement that the position had been filled by Argus Filch, then dismissing them and going about his business. This sent the gossip mongers scurrying to pull up the faked records of an insignificant squib that had done absolutely nothing consequential in his life.

With relish Regulus threw himself into building up Argus as a rather comical character. More than once when he and Severus stalked the corridors; teaming up as they snuck up on wayward students, they would fall into classrooms under Muffliato and devolve into fits of laughter over their ability to strike fear into the student populace.

* * *

The Dark Lord didn't stay in the country long after he'd borrowed Kreacher, he departed for his traveling once again and had not yet returned. However that didn't mean the Death Eaters had been inactive, there were more and more crimes against muggles of varying degrees of severity. Other than the brutal murder of Fenwick the Death Eater had kept the Magical Law Enforcement busy mostly with trying to keep muggles unaware of their presence, leaving the majority of the magical community untouched. However the pressure on the M.L.E to uphold the international secrecy act was getting so out of hand that the Minister had quickly come to realize that they were losing the fight, and in a bold move lifted the ban on the use of unforgivables for all Aurors. This sent a message to the public loud and clear, no one was safe.

In early August as summer was coming to a close, the group of Order members involved in the surprise attack all gathered at headquarters just before sunset and then left together on brooms to a remote location where they would activate the marked letters. James, Sirius, and Peter all showed up to see the group of people off and then stayed back to see if they could help medically when it was all over, desperately wanting to have some part of the action. James and Sirius both commiserated on their lot to be forced to sit on the sidelines, both willing to do anything after so many months of boredom, though James was less eager to go out and fight than Sirius as he had a lot more fear for what would happen to him and his family if he was caught.

Sirius and Peter had brought Marlene to the Potters home earlier that evening to have a visit with Lily and Harry, and then at Peter's suggestion had volunteered to escort Marlene's younger sister Mary to headquarters so that she could visit her friends Bill and Charlie. Mary had been very excited to have received her letter for Hogwarts only weeks before. Now she was in desperate need of cheering up as she'd learned that she would not be able to attend and would instead remain in hiding with her mother. Thankfully almost as soon as they arrived Bill assured her it wasn't that bad if she waited one more year, because then she could start the same year he did, all of his childlike innocence and ignorance allowing him to be completely sure that in a year everything would be safe and they wouldn't have to hide anymore. Without another pout to be seen the three children bolted out the door to play outside in the gardens before dinner. Molly had her hands full with the twins and trying to get dinner going and turning to the three men, asked if one of them wouldn't mind sitting outside with the children. Peter jumped up immediately.

"I-I'll take care of it Molly. I don't mind, I like watching them play hide and seek anyway." He told her moving for the back door in the kitchen that let out into the gardens.

"Thank you, just be sure they don't fly the brooms more than four feet, I know Bill has figured out how to disable his no-fly-too-high charm. I swear, that boy will be a curse breaker one day!" Peter turned to her and gave her a nervous smile and nod then headed out the back door, while James and Sirius retreated to the library for a game of chess while they waited for news of the battle.

Peter followed the children out and only had his eyes on Mary. The kids made a move to try to go flying but Peter called out to them and stopped them.

"No kids, Molly says no brooms till she can straighten out your kiddie charms. How about we play hide and seek?" Peter asked them. Mary rolled her eyes and whispered to Bill who then puffed up his chest.

"That's a baby's game! Mary and I don't want to play, neither does Charlie." He said scrunching up his face in distaste at being thought of as a baby.

"No I do want to!" Charlie protested.

"Well this hide and seek is different. It's not for babies." Peter said leaning in secretively.

"You three will hide and I will try to find you. But you have to be careful, because the sun has gone down now, the boggarts and the garden gnomes will be out. And you have to be brave and strong enough to fight off any of the ones you find, without being caught!" Peter told them and grinned crookedly when he saw the boys eyes light up knowing they would definitely want to play. Mary always the level head and more than a little uncomfortable with the way Peter always stared at her, was not keen on the idea of being in the dark alone with him.

"He's lying there are no garden gnomes or boggarts." she countered trying to talk her friends out of it.

"But still we've never played it in the dark! It will be hard to find any of us, come on Mary it will be better than going inside." Bill prodded her, Mary caved as she'd really been looking forward to getting her mind off school for a while and decided playing was better than moping.

"Ok then, the fountain is home base and I will give you three minutes to find a hiding spot before I come looking." Peter turned his back to the yard and faced the house and waited till he heard all the kids scatter. He then disillusioned himself and pulled out his wand whispering,

"Point me!" as he thought of Mary. He'd been planning this for months, trying to maneuver every moment he had when they got together to get Mary alone.

**~*~ **He couldn't stop thinking of her barely developed breasts, or her tiny little heart-shaped mouth that would make his cock look huge when he shoved it inside her lips. He'd thought of little else for months and months, and now at least it seemed as though he'd be able to have a sample. He'd grown tired of the plain little dirty blond seven year old that lived next door to his home, but she'd provided good practice for him to perfect his methods on. Now he had it down to a system and it was flawless. Once he'd gotten them alone, separated from their friends or adults, he would cast an notice-me-not spell around them to deter anyone from stumbling in on him while he had his fun. Then he would silence the girl and use that neat little curse that he'd stolen from Snivelus that removes all their clothes. Peter shuddered in excitement at the memories as he walked toward where his wand pointed that Mary had gone to hide. He loved to see them jump and try to bashfully hide themselves from him then he would use Incarcerous on them as they always tried to run at that point. He'd bind them to the ground and then enjoy the buffet of young perky flesh. He liked to keep them awake and silently screaming when he took them, it was his favorite moment, and then their broken shocked state afterwards was perfect for him to then clean himself in their little mouths. When he was finished he'd wipe their memory of it all and be on his way.

_Until the next time_. He grinned to himself. Mary however had taken more planning, she was a challenge, he had to be sure that his memory charm on her was flawless and well as his ability to transfigure the scraps of cloth he had in his pockets into whatever she was wearing. He couldn't leave her naked like the neighbor girl, not here where he could be discovered but the challenge had been half the excitement. Working on getting his plan down perfectly, and then the build of anticipation after every time he saw Mary and was unable to catch her alone.

When he neared the far corner of the yard that had a sort of miniature shrub maze with various statues and a small coy pond at its center, he could have burst with joy. Her hiding spot couldn't have been more perfect. He quickly cast the notice-me-not charm over the entrance to the maze and then made his way inside quietly. Mary had gone to the center of the small maze, which was really only two to three turns deep, and she had crawled under the stone bench that sat at the edge of the pond. He circled around to where he was behind her and cast the silencing spell on her so that she had not even noticed what had happened. Then he canceled his disillusionment and pulled her by her foot from under the bench. Her mouth went wide, then her eyes followed suit as she realized she could not scream and then she started flailing madly and fighting him. Peter just laughed at her and wrapped her tightly in his arms holding her back to his chest as he whispered hotly in her ear,

"Thought you could hide from me, well I found you. Want to know what I do to the ones that I find?" Peter taunted her in a sing-song voice and rubbed his hand viciously down her body and shoving his hands down her pants feeling her hairless innocent flesh. Mary tried beating her head into his chest and he felt it was time for him to stick with his plan. He retracted his hand smelling it and then reached for his wand stowed in his back pocket. He decided to chain her feet to the ground first and then released her and stepped in front of her. Mary's eyes were streaming with tears and staring in shock and horror accusingly and angrily at him and he only smirked. She immediately tried to bend down and free her feet from the chains but Peter just made them grow hot in her hand until she dropped them and them laughed at her maliciously. He removed her clothes and reveled in the sight of her nakedness, opening his placket and taking himself in hand as he enjoy the sight of her begging and pleading silently as she tried to cover up and huddle into a little ball. Then when he'd worked himself up and could wait no longer he cast another Incarcerous, the chains shot up out of the ground behind her a few feet and latched on to her wrists and slowly retracted forcing her to stretch out onto her back. She became more and more desperate, fighting and trying to resist the pulling chains.

Peter wasted no time though he had waited long enough he'd dreamt of this moment and it was perfect. He straddled her small body and took his time tasting her flesh for a moment before he got into position and stared into her face as he rubbed himself on her smooth folds.

* * *

Molly stuck her head out the back door and shouted,

"Dinner!" Whoops went up from different corners of the yard as her two sons darted out of their hiding spots for the back door towards the promise of food. Molly seeing that they had started for the door turned to finish setting the table. It wasn't till she turned back at the table and saw everyone gathered that she realized who was missing.

"Bill where's Mary?" Bill looked around just realizing his friend wasn't present and shrugged.

"Might be still hiding, maybe she didn't hear you call for dinner." he responded. James had just come into the kitchen and Molly turned to him.

"James will you run out to the back and fetch Mary for dinner before you have a seat?" Molly asked as she wrangled one of her twins into a high chair.

"Absolutely." James moved to the back and Molly called to him.

"Oh that's right, we are still missing Peter as well, they were playing hide and seek so they might not have heard the call."

James stepped outside and immediately took out his wand and cast, "Point me!" Then he took off at a light jog for the far corner of the property to the maze. _If they are this far out there is no wonder they didn't hear_ he thought. As he neared the maze he found himself walking back and forth unable to find the entrance, before he stopped in confusion.

_Bloody hell, I know it's here someplace!_ He cursed as he pictured where he remembered the entrance to be, then looking carefully he finally managed to see through the notice-me-not charm. Instantly James got a very bad feeling, pretty sure that Mary couldn't cast the charm since she hadn't even a wand. He quickly ran through the short distance in the maze hearing moans and heavy breathing wondering if someone was hurt. What he found when he rounded the last corner shocked him so completely that he just stood there for a moment as he yelled

"Hey!" Just as what he was seeing started to register.

Peter had heard the footsteps approaching and quickly tried to get up, he managed to get his wand and as soon as he saw James he cried out.

"Stupefy!"

James barely managed to block the spell but it knocked him off-balance long enough for Peter to scramble to his feet and pull his pants in to place.

"How could you, Worm?!" James asked incredulously then he frowned as he understood. His friend was beyond help, he'd had a taste of their evil ways before and he couldn't just have his memories wiped and walk away. He tried to retaliate and stun him but Peter was desperate, sending an Incarcerous at him that dropped him to the ground hard, slamming his head on a rock and knocking him unconscious. Peter panicked and looked around frantically. He went to James and tried to alter his memory but found that he was to distraught to get a hold of his magic and focus on such a spell. He had to go before anyone else came so he quickly turned, altered the chains on Mary picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. He ran to the outer fence of their yard tossed Mary carelessly over then scrambled up and over after her.

Once outside the fence he was outside the protective wards and grabbed the girl once more and apparated away. He made three jumps, to random places that popped into his head but then changed his mind when he arrived and moved on. Finally he apparated to a small side alley off Knockturn Alley where a hole in the wall Tavern and Inn was located. It was a place where no one in the order would be seen dead in and where they wouldn't question who he had with him as long as he paid for the room. He pulled the scraps of cloth out of his pockets and transfigured them into a really poor representation of a traveling cloak with a hood but it would serve it's purpose. He set Mary down, only just realizing he'd knocked her unconscious probably when he threw her over the fence. He didn't care at least she wouldn't be fighting him, with shaky hands he wrapped the cloak around her then pulled her onto his back, leaning forward so that she stayed put while her held her legs around his waist.

He struggled to the inn and got a room claiming his friend had too much to drink and needed to sleep it off. He took his key and went upstairs not once noticing the looks he got from the darkest corner of the bar, or the two tall men that stepped out of their booth to follow him. Peter stood at the door to his room fumbling with his key, when the two men caught him one grabbed Mary and yanked her from him causing him to stumble and whirl around. The other man jabbed his wand in Peter throat and removed his wand from his pocket.

"We've been looking for you Pettigrew. The Dark Lord is not happy with you."

"I-I-I, please I dunno what you are talking about. My friend you see had t-t-t-o m-m-much to drink." The man holding Mary pulled back the cloak and saw the bound naked body of a young girl and whistled.

"I'm sure her mummy puts lots of rum in her bottle, she is still young enough to be teething." he said sarcastically. Then to his partner he said,

"Take em both yeah? And maybe we'll get to have some fun with this one while we wait for the Dark Lord to come and gut the coward." The second laughed in response, grabbing Peter by the collar the two Death Eaters apparated away with their spoils in tow.

They arrived in a small shabby apartment and Peter struggled to get away from his captor, pleading and begging them. At one point he made a dive for one of his captors wands but in the scuffle the wand was snapped. The dark wizard howled in rage at him and took out Peter's wand who was then rewarded with a very long and extended Crucio.

Just when Peter thought his inside would liquefy from the effects of the torture curse it was lifted as the Death Eaters hissed in unison and grabbed their left arms. They quickly grabbed him and the girl and shoved them into an empty closet that reeked of urine, blood and vomit; most likely having been used for this purpose many times in the past. They bound them both on opposite sides of the closet then closed the door where it disappeared as they transfigured it into an extension of the wall. The room was completely black and soundless except for Peter's whimpering sobs as he hung from his chains despondently wondering what he was going to do.

* * *

The Order's offensive attack group flew on brooms to a remote location, then the six of them gathered together in a small clearing. Their group consisted of Moody, the Prewett twins, Podmore, Jones and Vance. Their plan was to activate the letters and infiltrate the enemy's location. They would then mark their location by activating a beacon that the twins had spent the last few months developing. Moody had coordinated with the head Auror to have back up ready and to watch their sister beacon for the signal, then use it as a portkey that would bring it to its mate.

"Alright, like we've planned, backs together and wands at the ready. Gideon and Fabian are with me, Vance, and Podmore you are with Jones. Stick together cover each other and we will be able to hold out against more than twice our numbers, Vance as soon as we arrive activate the beacon. Good luck everyone." Moody instructed them all gruffly. He handed Jones a marked letter, then they split into the two groups with their backs facing each other, wands held in front of them and their free hands grasping a corner of the marked letter.

"On three Jones, one, two, three!" Moody counted off.

"Lord Voldemort!" He and Jones said in unison activating the summoning charms embedded into the papers, which then whisked them away. Moments later two loud cracks sounded in the area as the same two Death Eaters who had captured Peter and Mary arrived in answer to the taboo being named. They looked around for a few minutes and were unable to find anyone.

"Where do you think they went?" Nott asked Avery.

"I don't know there is no trace left over from an apparition so they much have portkeyed." Avery answered. Nott glowered mulishly,

"I hope the bloody order doesn't start having us on and send us on wild goose chases all over the countryside. It's a serious flaw in this whole taboo business. It ain't like there are a lot o' us to spread around is there, to many bloody politicians who don't want to get their hands dirty." He kicked a stone then turned in a circle looking around at the empty clearing inside a sparse little cospe of trees.

"Well I suppose we should go back to the castle and leave a report that we showed up, and no one was here, they can't say we didn't come neither." Avery concluded and with that after having spent 15 minutes on the location they both apparated to the gates of Castle Morgraig, hidden in the forest atop a hill that overlooked Cardiff.

* * *

The Order landed in the middle of an expansive drawing-room that was fit for a king, even if a little bare of furnishings. The six attackers didn't have much time to take in any more of their surroundings as they found themselves smack in the middle of an evening Death Eater social gathering. Vance quickly activated the beacon and then started throwing up shields around her two more offensive teammates. They all slowly circled until they backed up to a huge fireplace, standing in a semi-circle they were able to all focus their spells forward and Vance could more easily cover both teammates.

She started taking names and faces of everyone she saw. The Lestrange brothers, tall broad-shouldered and fierce fighters, with a hellcat little midget of a woman or so she seemed standing next to those tall men, she had wild hair and a bloodthirsty look in her eye. Vance assumed this was young Bellatrix Black as she had some features in common with Sirius, but then remembered that she'd married the eldest Lestrange some time ago and became sure that it was her. They were going right for Avada's within moments and her shields charms became useless. Instead she summoned a large sofa from across the room knocking the youngest brother down as she placed it between them so they could crouch behind it for cover. Each time she peeked from her cover to return fire she tried to see more of the room but aside from the three Lestranges she was unable to get a clear view of anything that happened or who the other attackers were.

Moody, Gideon, and Fabian were surrounded quickly by father and son Mulcibers, Rowle, Dolohov and Rosier. They were holding them off well until the Aurors arrived and then things got thrown off-balance as they tried desperately to help the Aurors gain their footing and protect them, whilst also trying to not accidently hit any one of them as they appeared right in the middle of the battle?spell fire. Moody told the brothers to stay together and then dove to help one of his fellow Aurors who was struggling to fight off Dolohov. She was blasted full on by some spell that Moody wasn't familiar with, and engulfed in purple light when the spell collided with her. Moody took a defensive stance over her body as she fell clutching her chest in pain, he managed to get an Incarcerous to hit him partially which brought Dolohov to one knee. Dolohove slashed his wand wildly calling out,

"Sectumsempra, Sectumsempra, Sectumsempra" Slashing his wand quickly and viciously Moody managed to block only one of the three, one hitting him full in the face as it glanced off the shield he'd got up to late, then as he was blinded by the blood streaming into his eyes, he completely missed the last curse and it cut his leg clean off and he went down in a bloody heap on the floor. Dolohov got free of the Incarcerous and saw Moody starting at him through one eye that didn't have blood blurring his vision as he tried to push past the pain in his leg and fight off his attacker.

"Accio Eye!" Dolohov said annoyed by the wide eye staring at him defiantly.

Moody screamed in pain as his eye popped out of its socket and tried to zoom away but was still attached by ocular muscles and skin which then began to tear away as the spell forced its completion. Moody tried to clamp his hand over his eye but was unable to keep it from slowly being ripped from its socket behind his hands while he screamed in agony. Dolohov slashed at his hands and face with another cutting spell cutting off the tips of some of his finger and putting deep gashes on the back of his hand, he flinched and moved them allowing the eyeball to finally zoom away. Dolohov laughed as he caught the eye in his hand and crushed it before moving onto fight the other handful of Aurors still standing.

Fabian and Gideon desperately tried to get over to the other side of the room where they saw Moody go down. Fabian finally snapped when he heard Alastor's frenzied blood curdling screams, he threw his first killing curse aiming it at the younger Mulciber who stood in their path to save their comrade. The senior Mulciber seeing his son in danger leapt over to shield him and took the curse in the back. The younger horrified at seeing what had happened grabbed hold of his father's lifeless body and apparated away.

"Come on Gid, we gotta help Moody!" He called to his brother and they backed their way over to Moody. The young female Auror that Moody had been trying to help seemed to have regained some functions and struggled to perform emergency healing on the man who was sprawled broken and bleeding across her lap where he'd fallen. Her hands covered in his blood as she tried to apply pressure to his empty eye socket with one hand and then pointing her wand at his leg casting a tourniquet charm at his severed thigh to keep him from loosing any more blood. She then pulled her emergency portkey from her breast pocket and activated it, transporting both her and Moody to the emergency spell damage ward at St. Mungos.

Gideon and Fabian had their backs turned when they disappeared and were steadily giving up ground to their enemy trying to reach their friend. Fabian turned to glance behind them and found Moody and the auror were gone, frantically he looked around for them. This extra moment of inattention was all that was needed for Gideon to be over powered by Rowle and Rosier, Gideon managed to stun Rowle but in the moment that he did Rosier hit him will a killing curse. Fabian turned to see his brother going down, caught him with one arm around his middle and supported him as he flung a killing curse in return at Rosier his face twisted in livid rage for his brothers murderer. Then Fabian collapsed holding his brother.

"Gideon! NO! Oh god Gideon, you can't leave me!" Just then five more Death eaters joined the fight only they were masked. The shorted one at the front immediately took advantage of Fabian's vulnerable position and sent a wide slicing hex across the room obviously excited to finanlly be a part of the action because in his enthusiasm he put so much power into the slicing hex that he completely beheaded the surviving twin. The taller black-haired man behind him stepped back and gripped the door frame at the sight of the gore then pushed the ambitious younger Death Eater further into the room in attempt to cover his own hesitation.

"Move! There are more you idiot don't just stand there gaping." Came his deep baritone sneering at the young man and shoving him so hard he fell to his knees. The other three death eaters all hesitated as well, but once the three remaining Order members and the only two Aurors saw reinforcements had arrived Jones called out a retreat. The two Aurors managed to take down Dolohov, they quickly got him bound then both activated their portkeys taking him away with them as prisoner. Jones, Vance, and Podmore all ducked behind the heavily damaged sofa and activated their portkeys moments after them. All that remained were the dead bodies of the two brothers.

The only casualties that their side sustained was Evan Rosier, and Rastaban informed them that Mulciber Sr. had died and Junior fled with his father's body. Just when Rudolphus was moving to banish the dead bodies Severus stepped in.

"No leave them, I can harvest valuable ingredients from them. Summon the Dark Lord Lucius." Severus demanded. Lucius was not able to cover the shock on his face completely as he looked at his friend, but Severus's expression was unreadable.

"How did they get in?" Severus demanded. Looking around the room he spied the letters and retrieved one. For effect and those watching he cast the revealing charm on it, then he turned to the other Death Eaters.

"Does the Dark Lord know about these? Who made them?" Severus questioned letting some of his rage bleed through for effect. He was struggling to keep his horror at what he'd witness at bay. He wanted to throttle Crouch no one answered his question but he quickly surface grazed the room and found fear from Rowle. Severus turned on him, and the man immediately flinched giving himself away. Severus threw the letters at him then got in his face threateningly.

"You imbecile! Do you have any idea what you have done?"

"What has he done Severus?" came the Dark Lord's voice from the entryway. The entire room took a collective gasp and flinched, each bowing their head and dropping their gaze. The Dark Lord took in the state of the room.

"What happened here?" He said angrily before Severus could respond to his first question. 'My Lord we were attacked by a group of Dumbledore's Order, they gained access to this secret kept location because Thorfinn and I'm assuming an accomplice created these." Severus handed the Dark Lord the letters from where they had fallen to the floor. Voldemort did not look pleased and he turned on Rowle grabbing him by the neck, he ripped through his mind for the information he sought. Rowle was tortured and berated for a long while before the Dark Lord dismissed those present. Nott and Avery hung behind and Severus finally was able to move the bodies of the twins. He put them under stasis and did his best to patch up the damage done to Fabian so that he would not be so grotesquely disfigured when he managed to return them to their family.

Severus double checked his wards then he called for his house elf who Dumbledore had given permission to enter headquarters if needed.

"Yes Master?" Charmie answered when she appeared. Severus leaned heavily against the worktable across from the long countertop that he had the bodies lain out on, he rubbed a hand down his face.

"Charmie I need you to take these bodies and deliver them to the Order Headquarters. There is an unused room on the second floor, third on the left. Take them there and ward the door shut, then deliver this note to Dumbledore so that he can properly inform the family." Severus instructed her in a tight and weary voice. Charmies eyes welled up with tears for the fallen ones but she nodded her head, her ears flopping about dejectedly, and she took the letter then grabbed hold of a foot of each body and disappeared to do her duty.

Severus then decided he needed to get some air and left out a back entrance and took flight in bird form. Flying high over forests outside Cardiff with the sounds of his mournful cawing echoing through the trees.

* * *

Avery and Nott brought their two captives to the Dark Lord after the disaster of the evening they were desperate to show that they had not been part of the failure. The Dark Lord dismissed the girl and told them to keep her locked up until he found a use for her and so they returned her to their dingy little flat and had some fun with her before binding her back in the closet.

The Dark Lord tore viciously through Peter's mind and discovered that he didn't remember once being his servant. Knowing a memory charm was placed on him he spent hours sifting through his mind till he finally found the memories and was completely shocked at what he'd found.

He'd been traveling the world to small Ley points and draining them of magical energies trying to build up his power so that he could take on the wards of Hogwarts and try to go after the child of the prophecy, convinced all this time that the child was the Longbottom's. He'd almost been suspicious of Lucius when he learned his wife was heavily pregnant near the end of May, only to hear the very next day that she had given birth to her son, more than a month early for him to consider it to be Lucius. He was always very loyal, he would venture to say second only to Severus himself who he was proud to say revered and worshiped his father that any offspring of his should.

_So this was why Potter hid from me, then hid both his friends and denied my summons, refusing his task to bring his wife. He's sired the child of prophecy and he knew it. He has the audacity to believe that he can have power over me with this child? I am Lord Voldemort, no one has more power that I do, no one can kill me, for if they kill this body I will simply return in another more powerful and with less flaws than this frail human form._ His soliloquy droned on getting increasingly less coherent, as his mind settled on his next course of action, that he must find where they've gone into hiding and then he would kill them all. However powerful magic bound Wormtail from giving him the information he needed. The coward was under an unbreakable vow and if he broke it he would lose his one chance to get inside the Fidelis and kill the child of prophecy. Wormtail knew who their secret keeper was and would bring whoever it was to him, using the young girl as bait. Then he would force the secret keeper to share the location with him and he would kill the entire defiant family once and for all eradicating the threat to his rise to power.

* * *

James was found bound and stunned out in the gardens a short while after Peter escaped with Mary, unable to recall exactly what happened only saying that he had seen Peter and Mary and Mary had been in trouble, but he could remember no more. They all believed it to be due to his head injury and many worried that their wards had been breached and that Peter and Mary had been taken hostage. Sirius and James had to deliver the terrible new to Marlene of her missing sister. Lily tried to comfort her but Marlene had said she needed to tell her mother so Sirius took her back to her own home very shortly after. There was no sign or word of either Peter or Mary for over two months and they were presumed to be dead, though Mrs. McKinnon refused to hold a funeral for Mary till she knew for certain.

After the losses they sustained, losing the Prewetts and seeing the damage done to Moody from the attack it was hard for anyone to feel festive or celebratory but Sirius and Marlene moved on with their wedding plans.

Then tragedy struck again, on the morning of the wedding, Pettigrew and the lifeless body of Mary was deposited by Nott the new owner of Pettigrews wand, on the street near the small cottage where the McKinnons lived.

"Portus." Nott tapped his wand on Mary's body and waited disillusioned while Peter disappeared behind the Fidelis ward with the body then returned. The delayed portkey bait would be activating in moments and Pettigrew had to give word when their target had been successfully removed.

"Both m-mother and the secret k-keeper were taken by the p-p-portkey." He stammered, Nott grabbed him by the collar and they left to meet the Dark Lord for their next set of instructions.

The Dark Lord saw the older woman, most likely the mother of the dead girl had been brought as well and quickly cast a killing curse to be rid of her. Marlene cried out in agony.

"Mother! Please no, why are you doing this to us? What did we ever do to you?" Riddle didn't answer her questions he simply cast the spell that would bring him his answers.

"Imperio!" Marlene's eye hazed over and her sobbing ceased almost immediately her face relaxing into a calm and placid expression.

"Tell me the secret kept location of James, and Lily Potter." He ordered. He saw the girl struggle then fight off the spell, spitting on him in disgust when she finally managed to break the spell. The downside of his method for getting her here was that she would be so emotionally fraught that it would be harder for him to manipulate her to get him the information he needed but he had been patient, he could wait however long it took for her to break, everyone did eventually.

When Marlene and her mother didn't arrive at Headquarters later that morning Sirius risked bad luck of seeing the bride on the wedding day and rushed over to make sure they were safe. He found the front door partially open and a hastily scrawled note on the small entryway table,

_Dear Sirius,_

_You know I'm struggling, but I must find Mary. I have to know either way. Mum has to know. We have a lead on where she might be. We must go today. I'm sorry._

_I love you. _

_Marlene_

Sirius collapsed clutching the letter to his chest and sobbed. He cursed Marlene for not letting him help her, he knew she was reluctant to get married because she didn't feel right about her sister being gone and had wanted to postpone but Sirius had pressed her and now she was gone, left him the day they were to be married. Angrily swiping at his eyes he picked himself up and left the cottage, he apparated back to headquarters called the wedding off, then he disappeared into muggle London to get pissed and drink away his pain.

* * *

A/N: See much darker, yeah? But we are moving right along.

Go on... you know you want to tell me all about it. :D


	31. The Death of Tom Riddle (10,294)

A/N: Hello procrastinating author here *ducks rotten tomato*,

One quick note I wanted to point out that most of your were very impressed with **the creative use of Accio** in the last chapter and I forgot to add in the A/N at the end that the** idea props go entirely to my clever** (read: probably sadistic)** beta Kraco**! It was really brilliant and I couldn't not use it with her permission of course. She is freaking awesome! She and your Reviews are also entirely the reason you have this chapter sitting before you now and not much later, as I was deep into procrastinating and you all gave me the shove that I needed.

Thank you all very much for reading and reviewing! Look out for the 400TH Review Reward for BlueFirefly5! I should be posting it later today,_ if all goes as planned!_

Hope you enjoy the new chapter!

**Mood Music: Marina And The Diamonds - Lies (Zeds Dead Remix) amazing song! The lyrics are at the beginning of the chapter and really sum up what the major characters in this chapter experience.**

**Content Warning: MATURE - RATED R - 17+ - NSFW: gruesome or graphic themes/descriptions (not many I promise!) detailed descriptions of sexual acts as always when you see ~*~ just skip to the chapter break if you'd rather not read it!**

_Disclaimer: Not mine, no money!_

* * *

**_Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh_**

**_I can't let you go, can't let you go oh_**

**_I just want it to be perfect_**

**_To believe it's all been worth the fight_**

**_Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know oh_**

* * *

**Chapter 30 – The Death of Tom Riddle**

Patience was not something that Riddle had ever valued, and the amount of it he was required to exercise to be able to get the information he wanted from that witch was unconscionable. Her efforts were admirable he had to admit it was a new experience for him to have to exercise such subtle tactics, the Heir of Slytherin he may be, but he had lost his patience for subtlety years ago when he found the source of his true power and potential.

Now everything came down to this night, this night when he would defy even the fates. They would not write his fate because he had beaten them all. Who else could make such claims? None had taken steps such as he and made such advances in defeating the one thing that defeated everyone in the end.

Death.

He hissed at the thought, he would not succumb to it like each and every other person. He was better than them, he was free of the pitiable emotions that held them all back that kept them from exploring the depths of true power, and soon his efforts would all pay off and he would rule them all.

Riddle basked in the moonlight, looking up into the clear night sky, breathing in the feeling of power that radiated up through the earth into him from this place of such potential. Centering himself and focusing the vast wealth of power he'd collected to enhance his capability. He'd spent years studying the immense power that was hidden and embedded into the very earth, trying to learn the secrets of the great warlocks that had come before, that had harnessed it and manipulated it for their own purpose. He ran his hand over a large focusing stone, the key stone of Avebury, he was reluctant to destroy the beautiful relic of their mysterious past but his needs demanded it. He fondly remembered the hours he spent here after he'd sealed his soul leak, carefully manipulating the power it held.

The ley magic here would not turn on its own steward, so it was perfect for him to practice holding the ley power and it was instrumental to his learning, just how far he could push his bounds. Avebury had been more power than he could hold when he'd first begun. Over the last year he'd gathered up smaller single points of power where only a single ley thread pooled near the surface and used it to bolster his power and sharpen his control. Now he had come here tonight to take what was his to control; now he was strong enough to handle the full weight of the power that pooled beneath the stones of Avebury and he would take one more step toward complete perfection.

Riddle sought for the power that rested deep within the earth below the stone and he coaxed it to respond to his touch, like the caresses of a forbidden lover, sensual and ardent. The magic over time had become used to his touch and no longer fled from him the way it had done before he became the steward it had responded like a petulant child reluctant to obey his commands. Now it recognized his touch and shivered away only briefly before responding gleefully and willingly.

He pulled and pulled the power and coiled it to rest in his core mingling with the other power there, he pulled until he felt the threads of the lines grow taut, and felt there was no more of the strands pooled and twined under his feet. The power churned restless within him, never quite resting and willing to merge with the tainted foulness that it met there. It started to resist and tried to retract back to its origination but Riddle quickly severed the lines and the frayed threads recoiled back deep into the earth. It would be a millennia before the threads managed to reconnect, and even longer before the magics would begin to pool and rise to the surface again.

The power churned violently inside him, its anger at being betrayed by its steward evident. Riddle overwhelmed and subdued it with the power he'd already collected from the other smaller points. When he opened his mouth his breathing was labored and his heart raced from the effort but he felt invincible. When he turned from the now completely normal stone he looked around and realised the ancestors had awoken from the disturbance and he was now faced with a host of angry souls.

In a chorus of voices they cried out.

"You have betrayed your blood, your greed and your thirst for power will be your downfall. You have attempted to shirk your payment for your crimes but payment will be taken. There are consequences to abusing power, oh filthy one, go and face your fate. Death awaits you."

"Lies! I cannot be killed. I have gone further than any wizard has gone! I will rule them all and you will thank me for the order I bring to this magical world." Riddle screamed out at them but they dissipated the moment they finished their warning of him. A frigid wind buffeted him and carried away his denial.

His face contorted with fear and anger as he thought of what had happened the last time, when they had extracted the soul he had stolen, their only power over him had been the unsealed rift in his soul that he later learned he needed only to seal to regain his power. The ancestor's power, if they had any was in the power of Avebury's ley lines and the wards placed in the stones that bound that power to the steward and none other. The entire place was completely void of magic now and they were cut off from their magical source. It was all resting nestled in the folds of his power slowly assimilating and being taken over by his own signature.

Riddle regained his confidence, they were angry dead souls who had lost their power of course they would make threats but they could not hurt him. He straightened his robes, it was time for him to complete his task. He was filled with enough power that he could take on the weight of even Hogwarts wards and not be challenged.

He would quickly deal with the traitor, his defiant wife, and their child of prophecy and he would revel in the moment he would see the light go out of the eyes of the infant who had the potential to grow into his greatest threat. He wouldn't allow that to happen and he laughed to himself at the irony of the child's own father being the reason it would not live to see his second birthday. No he would kill the child and deny the fates that conspired to bring him down and stop his progression toward becoming the source of true unlimited power.

Then he would take the information he needed from Wormtail and destroy the order headquarters and all who stood in his path. None could hope to withstand his power, they would all fall to his hand, and with the last of their pathetic resistance gone so with the hope of the rest of the magical community, and they would begin to embrace his ways with the guidance of his many persuasive followers.

He apparated away to the small village where the family lived, before he fluidly disillusioned himself as he walked up the street until he reached the home. He watched as the street lengthened and stretched and a large parcel of land with a cottage set in its centre, surrounded by a low brick wall. He stood at the gate and then lifted up his left sleeve revealing his master mark; he pressed his finger into the mark and called for Wormtail.

Wormtail knew what his task was, so once he had summoned him he stepped inside the gate and quickly set to placing powerful wards around the house to keep the family from escaping. As he finished and stepped to the front door to confront the traitor, Wormtail arrived with the bodies of the McKinnon women in tow and set about leaving them on the front lawn where they would be an example to all who would seek to defy him.

Riddle took out his wand and then brutally tore through their protective wards with a vicious slash, then blasted the door with a Bombarda blowing it off its hinges into shattered splinters. He heard the woman shriek in fright from upstairs and then the traitor telling her to get the child and find somewhere safe.

The Dark Lord waited patiently for James to run down the stairs, he stood in his front room as if he had not just blasted his way viciously into his home. He cast a backhanded spell at the door and sealed the entryway closing the only exit from outside his wards. The whole home was encased in a slightly glowing blue dome of magic that rippled and flowed. It would keep out any outside magical interference as well as prevent his quarry from escaping, for if they tried they would disintegrate the moment they tried to pass through.

The traitor stormed down the first set of stairs to the landing and then halted and stood with his wand trained on the Dark Lord in shock and terror.

"No! How did you find us? What have you done to Marlene!?" James demanded showing much more bravery than the Dark Lord had believed he possessed.

"Your faith in your friends was your downfall James. You mistakenly think that their love and loyalty to you was more important to them than living, in the end everyone wants nothing more than to escape death." Voldemort quickly disarmed James who tried to block the spell but his shield charm shattered under the force of the Dark Lords power and caused the man's wand to shatter in his hand. James stumbled backwards into the wall.

"No… Please! He's just a child!" James pleaded as the Dark Lord mounted the stairs with murder in his eyes. The Dark Lord flicked his wand at him and contorted him into a deep bow, James grunted from the force of the spell as he tried to resist it but felt as if his bones would snap if tried to fight it. Tears streamed down his face as he pleaded and begged for lenience for his child. Voldemort placed his wand under his chin and forced him to look up at his face.

"Does your precious wife know I wonder? That it was you who doomed your child from never reaching adulthood, never to reach his potential. It's a pity, I admire those who seek power, I would have enjoyed seeing him grow into such a power that could match my own, but only I will live forever. You however will become the last sacrifice, a tool that I will use to complete my mastery over death itself." The Dark Lord said. He lifted his wand from James throat and began the complicated rune pattern and tilting his head back he hissed at the familiar spike of pain that came from the soul severing, he pushed the ragged piece of his soul into his last and most precious item. When he opened his eyes they glowed red with malice, hate and pure evil.

He pointed his wand at the traitor and with a wicked sneer he whispered.

"Avada Kedavra!"

As the light faded from the traitors eyes the Dark Lord gathered the energies of his dispersing soul and bound them to the shredded mutilated edge of his soul, searing the wound closed. The pain was immense much greater than it was before but he endured it, knowing it was the last; the seventh of his set. He caressed his wand in his hand and waited a moment for the pain to fade, a chill ran up his spine and he felt his power careening about inside him begging to be released.

Drunk with the feeling of his power he let the body of the traitor collapse onto the floor then glided past him up the stairs. He heard the woman desperately trying to silence her child. He approached the door to the room the sounds were coming from and blasted it out of his way, his magic responding wildly and nearly out of control causing immense structural damage to the wall and ceiling. Debris flew everywhere and Lily stood huddled in the corner holding her child tightly to her chest to protect him from the collapsing ceiling.

"Ah Mrs. Potter, your resistance is futile." Voldemort chuckled at her coldly, and then he continued in a low persuasive tone.

"Give up the child and I will let you live. I will allow you to learn the error of your ways. My son was always too fond of you, but I too wish to be an indulgent parent and let him have ownership of you."

"Your son?" Lily's adamant refusal died on her lips when this information bowled over her. She shook her head telling herself it didn't matter anymore even if he wasn't dead like she had thought; she was bonded to James now who really was dead. She sobbed as she felt the pain of his death and the absence of his soul weighing heavily on her, there was no mistaking it.

"It doesn't matter! I'll never give you Harry, I would die first!"

Voldemort laughed at her bold and brave words.

"You never should have cast him aside for your husband. Did your precious James tell you how he betrayed you, that he was the one who brought me the prophecy that told me your son would grow to become a threat to my power? Did he tell you, how he begged at my feet for time to learn to control you, then he would bring you to me so that I could make an example of your place in this new world?" Voldemort taunted her and grinned maliciously at the look of shock and pain on her face.

"No you're a liar! It's all lies, you're trying to hurt me and turn me against those that I love! James always fought against you."

"Enough give me the child now or I shall not be lenient with you regardless of my son's desire for you." Voldemort's voice cut through her protests.

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead!" She pleaded holding her sobbing child in her arms.

"This is my last warning."

"Not Harry! Please ... have mercy ... Not Harry! Please — I'll do anything…"*

"Avada Kedavra!" He hissed in extreme annoyance intending to blast the child while still in her arms. Lily saw his arm come up and the spell was cast, true to her words she turned to face the wall throwing her back into the spell and ducking over Harry. In that moment she held her son tightly to her chest praying that Harry would live and somehow be protected, knowing she could do no more for him as the killing curse slammed into her back.

The woman went down hard, into a heap on the floor her son wailing in her arms as she lay pinned on top of him. The Dark Lord walked over to her and toed her body aside; he then looked straight into the bright green eyes of the red blotchy face, the child of prophecy. The boy slowly pushed himself into a sitting position and rubbed his face on his mother's dead arm, seeking her comfort for his pain from their fall to the floor. The Dark Lord felt his magic roiling in him in his excitement and felt the effects of the dark magic flowing through him, he had denied death and he would now deny fate. The newly consumed magic rebelled from the evil that he was twisting it into it demanded release from the act he was about to commit.

"Avada Kedavra!" He yelled, throwing the full weight of his power at the boy crying before him, the green light exploded out of his wand and blasted the child, it then rebounded and vindictively blasted him full in the chest and the magic exploded and filled the room with and intense burst of green light. The Dark Lord felt the only unmutilated portion of his soul begin to dissipate, but the small shreds that were bound by the magic of other souls were so burned and brittle that it shattered and the remaining shards fled his dead body into the night. With his death the wards on the home collapsed and a dark malevolent shadow shot out the blasted out windows into the night.

* * *

Out on the lawn Peter was kneeling over the putrefying body of his obsession. Mary was laid out next to her mother and had been dead for weeks; he'd wanted desperately for the Dark Lord to place her under stasis but was forced to watch her body begin to decay. His hands shook and he brushed her hair from her discoloured cheek, he felt such pain and regret,

_Why couldn't he control his urges?_ He thought for the hundredth time in the last weeks. _Why had he allowed himself to become so evil? He could have waited she would have grown up and in a few short years he might have been able to seduce her and make her fall in love with him, had a life and future with her. He was too eager; he caved to the idea of power over someone and getting what he desired. He saw how easy it was just to take what you wanted but look where it had gotten him._

He gagged as the cloying smell of her decaying flesh overwhelmed him, but forced himself to endure it as punishment for his sins. When the explosion sounded behind him his dark mark burned painfully and he clutched his arm. Looking around at the house he saw that the wards had come down, he turned from the bodies completely and got to his feet facing the house. It looked as though the second floor would collapse in on itself at any moment. Wondering if the strange feeling from his mark was a summons he quickly got to his feet and rushed inside to answer his call. He passed James sprawled dead on the landing, and followed the sounds of Harry crying. He was stunned when he saw the Dark Lord lying face down dead at the feet of the babe who sat beside his mother his face covered in mucus and tears as he cried hysterically.

Harry was alive, somehow Lily must have killed the Dark Lord just as he had killed her, but he looked around and couldn't see her wand only the Dark Lord's wand was there, trapped under his limp hand on the floor. Harry recognized Peter and raised his arms to him asking to be comforted.

"Mum, mum, mum!" He cried, and kicked his chubby little legs in his distress. Peter's heart felt as though it died in that moment, knowing it was all his fault the child lost his mother. _Everything was his fault, look at the terrible horrible things he had done._ He instinctively reached out and picked Harry up, resolving to himself that he owed it to the friends he betrayed to take their son away from all this horror and care for him. He was done with magic he'd hide in the muggle world, he'd have to or the order would kill him or give him to the Dementors when they found him. He would take the boy far away and raise him as his own. He steadied the boy in his arms and looked at him.

"It's alright Harry, I will make it alright. You're safe now." He tried to soothe the boy, his voice cracking with the grief and guilt he felt overwhelming him. He heard a loud crack of apparition of someone arriving and Peter panicked. He set Harry down in his crib causing his cries to get louder once again. He heard someone's choked gasp outside and then their footsteps on the stairs. He looked around and quickly grabbed the Dark Lord's wand and apparated away forgetting all previous thoughts of saving the child in his desperation for escape.

* * *

Severus sat at the Head Table enjoying the Halloween Feast, despite the raucous noise from the clamouring and excited students his spirits were high and he engaged Minerva and Flitwick in light hearted discussion over the sumptuous meal, relaying for them the story of catching two now notorious students trying to find a place for a late night rendezvous. He knew it got under their skin because the pair in question were from their houses. He and Argus had collaborated on cornering them and the capture had been glorious, resulting in a hefty decline in both houses standing for the House Cup. He told the story with a tone of derision and sneered at them for their inability to control their students. The two huffed and turned away from him then began whispering to each other hatching a plan to start patrolling the dungeons so that they could catch Slytherins and bring him down a notch. Severus smirked evilly into his cup knowing his house wouldn't dare leave their dormitory or common room after hours and even if they did they'd never get caught.

Once the feast was over and the students had all dispersed to their common rooms he began to stalk the halls. The ghosts were all active on Halloween many non-resident ghosts would visit the castle and enjoy the haunting of the halls on that night, so he was not surprised in the slightest when he saw an unfamiliar ghost floating down the corridor toward him.

"You must come, your kin has betrayed you, he has destroyed Avebury!" The ancient looking ghost dressed in druidic robes told him distressfully. Severus felt his blood run cold.

"It's destroyed, but how?" Severus questioned as he pivoted down a hall and rushed towards Dumbledore's office the ancestor ghost followed alongside him.

"He has stolen the power it held and taken it for his own. As many have done other places of power before the old ones formed the council of stewards to protect them. He betrayed his role of stewardship, and Avebury is lost!" the ghost said distressfully.

"Well what am I to do about it, if it is gone?" Severus asked feeling a little lost as to what was expected of him.

"The ancestors can show you how to mend the threads but you must come quickly before the magical threads drift too far apart." He explained.

"I will be there momentarily." Severus told the ghost who then shot away no doubt in the direction of Avebury to join his waiting brethren. Severus gave the password to the gargoyle and ran up the twisting stairway to make his way there faster. He burst through the office door and immediately looked around to be sure they were alone.

"Albus, I must away. The Dark Lord has destroyed Avebury. As the Prince heir I've been summoned away to try to salvage the damage. I believe this might have been when he has been doing, stealing power form Ley Points." Severus told him, then he began to pace in front of the desk.

"You must hurry Severus, thank you for informing me this is most distressing news, but you haven't much time if you have any hope of preventing a terrible backlash that would be felt far and wide in the area by all magical creatures for a long time. Go, quickly!" The headmaster urged him half rising from his chair and waving his hand at him. Severus responded and began to rush from the room and Albus called after him.

"Please be careful, you cannot be seen!"

Albus collapsed back into his chair and ran his hand down his face and then through his grey beard.

"Tom what more can you have done in your quest for power? Will it ever be enough?" He asked the empty room.

They really needed to find the rest of the Horcruxes. They had yet to destroy the locket, hoping that they could do it with Fiendfyre, but they were afraid to do so until they had gathered the others, not knowing if Tom would be able to tell when a part of his soul was destroyed. They couldn't take the risk and have him take the others into new hiding places where they would have no clue at all as to where to search for them. Since he'd known of the Horcruxes Dumbledore had been trying to hunt down clues but had not been successful yet he'd begun gathering memories where he could from people who had interacted with Tom over the years, and found that there were not many left alive forcing him to look for other more obscure sources. Dumbledore hoped that they found him before the power crazed dark wizard destroyed the whole magical world with his avarice for ultimate power.

Severus appeared at Avebury and immediately he could feel the absence of magic and the eerie emptiness left in the air, cold and sharp it sent a chill down his spine. He went to the Keystone and stood in the same spot he had the night of the blood rites. When he arrived a gust of wind kicked up and the temperature of the air around him dropped even further from the arrival of the host of souls unbuffeted by a magical barrier as they had been the night of the blood rites.

The angry ancestors gathered around him and he respectfully took a knee before them, and ducked his head in respect before looking up to them. One ancestor cried out to him angrily,

"You have brought evil into the stewardship and destroyed your birthright by passing your blood kinship to him. Curse you!" It shook his fist angrily at him.

"Silence Brother, you know what fate has dealt him! The stewardship would have fallen in to his father's hands when he died; you have seen his paths as clear as any of us." Another ancestor chided him and pulled him back further from the front of the crowd. Severus heard what they said and looked confused.

"You know my fate, in this reality and others?" Severus asked them curiously, a feeling of foreboding coming over him when they spoke of his dying before his father, praying that it was not this reality that they spoke of but the one the shards of his elder self and Hermione's souls had come from.

"We see all that is written by fate, we know you have tried to manipulate your fate, that you are now a soul bound with one foot in another fate. We wish you to succeed, to stop this evil that your father spreads." A tall ancestor told him his features were dark and aquiline more closely resembling the Prince features than most present, but not a face that he recognized.

"What can I do?" Severus asked.

With that the ancestors all gathered around and a single spoke person guided him towards the severed ends of the ley lines, the threads were slowly sinking deeper and deeper into the earth and it took him great effort and concentration to focus on finding and holding each one in place. It took even more effort to follow their instructions and try to pull the lines together so that they would reconnect, he expended much of his own magical reserves in the process, guiding and coaxing the threads to their mates one by one. When they reconnected they would snap out of his grasp and bury themselves deep in the earth, the Ancestors said it would be nigh on a thousand years before they would resurface and pool their energies again, and they would very likely shift to a new location due to the difference in their pull and configuration now. When he was finished Severus stood and thanked the ancestors.

"Do I survive my father, or is it my fate to die?" Severus asked them before they left, desperately wanting to know if it was all worth it in the end. The same tall ancestor replied,

"The Prince line survives your father on this night but only the future holds the answers on if it continues to prevail over Tom Riddle, and we cannot divulge the future, we are not oracles. Tonight Tom Riddle will pay for his greed. He will not escape the debt of honour we have demanded of him that he tried to evade. The debt will be paid." The ancestor told him only confusing him further.

Before he could question him further his mark burned painfully but he noticed it felt different than a summon. Grabbing his arm, he pulled up his sleeve and looked at it and saw that it seemed to have faded some but there was a red blossom of colour spreading through it, as if he was bleeding though his skin remained dry. The red colouring filled the entire mark then slowly was sucked into the black outline of the mark until it looked just the same as it always had dark and pulsing, though it felt different, more subdued than the ever pulsing malignant evil that seemed to permeate from it tainting and stealing his magic and warping his emotions.

The ancestors all disappeared when he looked away escaping further questioning. Not sure what to think about the strange behaviour of his mark he knew he could not ignore the summons so he pressed his finger to it and tried to answer the call, but it didn't work. He took out his wand and tried to discover if there was something preventing him but the whole place was devoid of power the ley line lay buried so deep in the earth he could not even detect their presence. He knew that the Dark Lord had been there so he cast a signature trace trying to detect if he had apparated from here to another place. He found one and he followed it disapparating away to the unknown location.

He looked around and dread filled him when he recognized where he was, Godric's Hollow was the last place he wanted the Dark Lord to visit knowing that it was likely the location where Lily was hidden under Fidelis. He followed the tracer signal around the corner of a street and his worst fears were realized as he was confronted by a nearly destroyed building, hearing the faint cries of a child coming out of the glassless windows.

"Homenum Revelio." He cast and found only two sources of life coming from the direction of that sound. Then quickly he cast his Patronus and sent Dumbledore a brief message that the Potter's safe house had been discovered.

_Please let it be Lily and the boy. _Severus prayed, desperate to believe she was still alive after everything he'd done to try to save her, to believe it had all been worth the fight.

He ran up to the home, knowing that if the Fidelis was still in place then he wouldn't be able to see it, James was either dead or would be soon when Severus hunted him down and killed him for this betrayal.

When he made it through the yard he gave only a passing glance at the three bodies laid out there, recognizing the McKinnon woman in different stages of decomposition. He covered his mouth and nose in his sleeve and choked down a sob, he had to be careful he reminded himself. He gathered his occlusions and slammed them into place cutting off every emotion and burying everything. He must face it all as he was expected, as the loyal and obedient son and servant.

He walked through the door wishing he had his mask and cloak but the ominous feeling that was gathering in him told him it wouldn't matter and he was too late. He mounted the stairs and saw James's prone form and his shattered wand far from his reach.

_Useless swine._ Severus cursed him angrily in his mind.

He heard the whimpering cries grow louder then a resounding crack was heard sounding as if the roof was about to cave in from the damage. Fear and dread threatened to overtake him and he forced them down. When he saw the shattered door he tentatively rounded the corner and stepped into the room to see the crying child in his crib. At his feet was the dead body of the Dark Lord and just beyond him staring back at him were Lily's blank and unseeing eyes, her lifeless body lying in a twisted heap. His occlusions came crashing down and his knees gave way, he fell heavily into the wall behind him clutching it for support.

"Lily! Oh no, Lily!" Severus cried out in anguish. He half stumbled, half crawled over to her and then reached for her with shaking hands, pulling her into his lap. He brushed her fiery red hair from her face then held her fiercely to his chest as he rocked her in his arms.

"Lily, I'm so sorry, I tried what more could I have done?" He wept then, burying his face in her hair as his shoulders heaved with sobs. He ignored Harry's cries for a moment and let his anguish pour out of him, he felt a warmth spreading to him from Hermione as she tried to comfort him he felt her concern and her sympathy as well as her own sadness, but what surprised him was her feelings of guilt. He became angry and lashed out at her calling out through the bond when he interpreted what her guilt could mean.

"This is what he meant isn't it? This was why he said I could not save her, that no matter what I did she would die. And you knew because you were willing to let her so that I wouldn't risk standing in the way of your happiness if she survived. That's it isn't?!" Severus demanded from her with vicious spitting anger. Hermione called back to him.

"Severus please, it's not like that! I desperately wanted to tell you but I couldn't, He - "

"No! I don't want to hear your lies." Severus cut her off forcing her into silence. He pulled his occlusions up and shut off his emotions from her. He knew he couldn't keep her from speaking to him but he made his wishes clear, he was done talking to her he would not allow her to comfort him or let her feel his emotions, and she remained silent.

With his occlusions back in place he knew he could no longer wallow on the floor. He stood and went to the crib and gently picked Harry up, holding him and staring into his sad emerald green eyes that were just like his mothers. He didn't know how long he stood there holding the child who slowly calmed down to hiccupping and stuttered breathing. He took the boys shirt and gently wiped his face of the tears and mucus, then the boy gripped the ends of his lank black hair and buried his face into the row of small buttons on his coat, snuggling closer for comfort. Severus slowly wrapped an arm around Harry awkward in holding him yet familiar with the acts of giving comfort from caring for Draco.

"Severus! Is the boy OK?" Dumbledore called from the door where he'd just arrived. Severus nodded as he looked down in shock at the bodies on the floor, then he stepped forward and began casting spells to detect any life from the Dark Lord, making sure he was indeed dead.

"He's really dead." Dumbledore said in amazement. "And the boy lives, this is unbelievable. Oh Tom, you have forgotten the most powerful and ancient of magics; the sacrificial love of a mother, the power he knew not." Dumbledore said sadly.

"He is not gone completely, he still has his Horcuxes but the ancestors informed me that he is paying the price they demanded. You've seen the memory of the blood rites." Severus clarified he was certain it was how Dumbledore had learned that Riddle was his father.

"What else did they say?" Dumbledore questioned him sharply. Severus drawled sarcastically,

"They implied they were all knowing of the future but proved evasive on further questioning. The one thing I took from what they said is that I may die before we see his ultimate end, but that could have been my former self's fate they spoke of. There is no way to be sure, however, I'm prepared for the eventuality that I don't survive to see the end of this war."

Dumbledore sagged and seemed strangely relieved by this answer and then held out his arms requesting to hold Harry.

"We must find a home for this poor orphan. Far from the madness of our world until it is time for him to begin his education." Dumbledore said, as he took a nearly slumbering Harry from Severus arms. Severus retrieved a blanket from Harry's crib and tucked it around him to warm him from the chilly night air.

"My mother would probably be willing to care for him; she has been separated from the wizarding world for some time now. She has had her magic restored to her now so she could keep him safe but still raise him as a muggle, she could handle the growth of his magic." Severus offered, almost hoping for Dumbledore to agree so that he would have an excuse to keep Lily's child close to him, to be a part of his life. However, another part of him wanted the child far from him as he detested him, knowing Lily died protecting the offspring of James Potter, that traitorous swine.

"He must go and live with his mother's muggle relatives. The magic that Lily invoked by sacrificing herself, is bound to his blood ties to his mother, so long as he lives with his mother's family, until he reaches adulthood this enchantment is the most powerful protection he has against him." Dumbledore explained.

"She hasn't any family left they were killed back in school." Severus told him.

"Her sister survived, Harry will have to stay with them." Dumbledore made to leave but Severus stopped him.

"Petunia Evans hated her sister, if you managed to get her to agree which I highly doubt; I have no doubt that the child would be unwelcome, as would anything magical. She is very bitter that she was not able to come to Hogwarts with us as children, it caused a very big rift between them." Severus explained to him.

"Nevertheless, Harry will be much better off growing up far away from the fame he will no doubt receive if he stayed in our world and if anything his trials will make him humble, not arrogant or self-entitled. That along with the enchantment makes it his best option. He will be safest there Severus, I'm sure of it." Dumbledore reached out and grabbed Severus arm radiating comfort to him and was shocked by the wealth of pain and grief that Severus was hiding.

"I must go before the Aurors arrive." Severus told him wanting desperately to get away and let go of the torrential flurry of emotions he was holding tightly suppressed. His grief over Lily forcing his eye to seek out her body and a sad frown betrayed his struggle. Dumbledore released him and nodded looking sadly at Lily's lifeless body as well. Severus forced himself not to reach out for her again knowing he would not be able to let her go, he jerkily pulled his wand from his sleeve and apparate to the gates of Hogwarts.

* * *

Dumbledore surveyed the destroyed room, and then shuffled Harry in his arms shaking his sleeve out of the way so that he could cast a Patronus. He sent one to Hagrid, the one person he was completely sure he could trust besides Severus, and one to the new Head Auror who took over after Moody was forced to retire due to his extensive injuries. He would have much to do in the coming hours and he wanted to be sure Harry would be safe, Hagrid was the best man for the job. While he waited for everyone to arrive he searched the room and was unable to locate Riddles wand which distressed him greatly. He cast a signature tracking spell and was surprised to see that there had been another person who had been in the room but used only one spell, they had apparated. He was sure he knew the signature but he could not place it.

Just before the Aurors arrived Dumbledore heard the grumbling sound of engines and saw that Sirius Black had arrived. Knowing that he need not see the bodies that were cruelly displayed, Dumbledore left Harry sleeping in his parent's room upstairs behind heavy wards, and quickly tried to intercept Sirius. As he got out the door he realized that it was very possible that Sirius had been the secret keeper and the one to have betrayed the Potters and he pulled his wand on Sirius.

"Before you take a step further Sirius, I demand your answer; did you betray the Potters to the Dark Lord?" Dumbledore saw that he had not before the man had uttered a single word lost in his complete shock at the destroyed house that he beheld, Dumbledore read his mind and found the his answer.

"No… I would never… what's happened? Are they ok?" Sirius asked taking a step closer and moved beyond the low brick wall. Dumbledore reached him just as his eyes found the bodies lain out, He stepped in front of Sirius and caught him around the chest as Sirius's knees buckled beneath him.

"Marlene…" He cried hoarsely, reaching out towards her then turning away his face twisted in pain. He bit down hard on his fist to try to control the stuttered sobs, his chest heaving with wheezing breaths when he managed to take one.

"Oh my boy, I'm truly sorry you've had to see this." Dumbledore told him empathetically, holding Sirius tightly as the man fought to take in air between his whining sobs of denial. When he succeeded in taking a deep breath he gasped,

"They're all dead. M-Mary… she was missing... where is Peter…?" Dumbledore managed to turn him away from the gruesome scene, and then the pieces began to fit together.

"Come with me, perhaps you can identify this magical signature, I think we have the missing piece to this puzzle." He led Sirius through the house, giving him time to grieve a moment for each of his friends and soothing him when he panicked about Harry telling him he was safely sleeping in the other room. When he cast the tracer spell Sirius's expression turned grim, and then slowly morphed to hate and rage. Dumbledore read his thoughts,

_He was here, and he left alive. He didn't cast a single spell to defend his friends. He was the only person beside me, James, and Lily, that knew Marlene was their secret keeper. I will kill him._

"Sirius I would have thought that you were their first choice for their secret keeper, I offered to be myself but James did not feel comfortable what with our recent … falling out." Dumbledore told him trying to figure out why they had chosen Marlene.

"When James told Lily he wanted to go into hiding Lily insisted that Marlene was their safest option since she was under Fidelis as well and never left, always either at their cottage or the Headquarters. We found out when Marlene brought us to see Harry the day after he was born, and I wanted them to change it to me so that Marlene wouldn't be in danger, the girls insisted. They were right though, Marlene was the safest option, but no one considered Peter betraying them." Sirius explained, turning on his heel and pacing angrily.

"It's all my fault! When Mary and Peter disappeared, Marlene immediately thought it was suspicious and made wild accusations about Peter saying that she got a weird vibe from him, that Mary had complained that he was creepy. I dismissed her and told her it was nonsense but I was wrong. Why would James have been stunned and bound and not remember? Why if headquarters had been breached didn't we ever get attacked and only Peter and Mary went missing?" Sirius pulled at his hair as he realized that they had wasted so much time instead of learning the truth they had turned a blind eye, unable to believe the worst of their friend.

"It's no more your fault than it is mine. I knew that the three of you had your foray down a dark path and I had hoped to give you a second chance, I sincerely waned to believe that you were not really bad at heart. Sadly it appears it was only true of you and James."

"What are you saying Dumbledore?" Sirius asked him his voice heavy with warning at what the headmaster was implying.

"I'm sorry to have to do this, but I believe it's time you live with the truth. Living lies has only brought everyone more pain." Dumbledore told him, he grabbed Sirius by the shoulder and cast a memory reversal charm. When the haze faded from his eyes and the memories of all his actions and mistakes came into vivid clarity, Sirius's mind felt like it had shattered, unable to reconcile himself with the truth of who and what he was.

"What have I done?! Oh, James… what… how…? Fools... We're such fools!" Sirius said covering his face with his hand and trying to shake off the images. When he looked back up at the sound of Hagrid's arrival his expression was one of extreme torment. Sirius followed Dumbledore to meet Hagrid downstairs who was crying and Sirius was still shaking his head trying to bring his mind into focus. When he heard Hagrid protest that Harry should be raised by his Godfather, Sirius scoffed.

"I'm not fit to raise a child Hagrid, he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near me, here." Sirius handed him the keys to his motorbike.

"I won't need it for a while. Dumbledore I've got to find Peter." With that he turned and fled the house, keeping his head down as he passed the bodies and then disapparated when he reached the street.

The Auror's arrived and the bodies were quickly removed and secured since the reporters were due to descend on them all at any moment. The Head Auror once he had confirmed the body of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named released the word to the Minister who jumped on the opportunity to announce good news to the magical populace at last. Dumbledore told Hagrid to take Harry back to headquarters for the time being where he would be out of the reporters reach and safe from any rogue Death Eaters.

By three in the morning stacks of special edition Daily Prophet papers where deposited on every doorstep and every business. Work, meetings, shops were all canceled and closed as every witch and wizard spent the day rejoicing with their families and toasting The-Boy-Who-Lived and paying their respects for the child's heroic parents and their sacrifices.

* * *

After Severus had arrived at the castle he finally cast his thoughts back to Hermione, still angry that he was not told what would happen but then he remembered how old Snape reacted when he found out about the soul bond. He was sure that he would have prevented him from further attempting to cling to Lily. For a moment he allowed himself to consider that maybe Hermione couldn't tell him.

Once he made it back to his quarters he removed his coat and taking a deep breath he sat on his bed next to the nightstand where Hermione's journal rested. He dropped his occlusions and let the emotions roll over him, tears sprang to his eyes and his chest ached with the loss, but he was not completely overwhelmed as he had been before, the shock of the first moments after discovery. He tentatively called out to her, his voice low and thick with his sorrow.

"I just wanted to save her, for it all to turn out perfect in the end. I didn't want to let her go."

Hermione sent him a wave of relief that he was speaking to her.

"I know I'm so sorry Severus. I wanted for you to save her but He retaliated when you bonded, whatever he did it prevented me from saying anything to you, I couldn't warn you. I wanted to help Harry too, he was my best friend, I wanted to give him his parents if we could. He said it couldn't happen, that the sacrifice Lily made was too important to Harry's survival, and that without it the Dark Lord would just keep gaining power, growing stronger and stronger until no one could stop him. I wanted desperately for you to not have to go through that pain, I've seen His memory of the first time and I know the anguish you both felt for her loss, and believe me, I could never wish that on anyone. No matter how much I love you Severus, I would risk losing you to her if it meant you didn't have to suffer that pain." Hermione told him her voice wavering in her own sadness and he felt everything she had told him was true as her emotions illustrated the entire story. Severus reached for her journal and opened the pages.

"Please? Can I see you?" He asked her. Moments later he was falling into the blank pages to stand in front of the constructs that they had built to store the memories. Hermione stood in front of him on the steps of the nicer looking Spinners End, one that looked happy. Hermione had tears in her eyes and she held out her hand to him. He grabbed on to her hand and felt his pain slowly recede leaving only his sorrow for the loss. Hermione lead him inside and pulled him through the stairs that were hidden behind the bookcase up to the room he'd once seen her lifeless body resting on in a memory. He felt the echoes of that memory crash into the feelings of loss he already felt and he pulled her into his arms crushing her to his chest.

"I'm beginning to realize and understand him, why he reacted the way he did at my actions. Lily as much as she meant to me was only an obsession, because when I have you here in my arms and remember what he felt when he thought he lost you there is no comparison between the two. We'll live in sorrow without her, but we'd die if we were ever without you." Hermione sobbed in his arms at his words for her, and she caressed his back comfortingly.

"Please stay with me a while?" She pleaded. They pulled apart and Severus looked into her eyes and dried her tears with his thumbs and Hermione gave him a small smile and a sobbed laugh wiping the tears from his own cheeks. He hesitated for a moment searching her for any reluctance then he slowly dipped his head forward and kissed her. They kissed tenderly for a moment basking in the connectedness until Hermione's emotions shifted to her need and she pulled them both toward the bed. Severus didn't have the warring emotions and urges he'd had the first time he'd tried to kiss Hermione after he'd merged with old Snape's shard, and was happy to know that they were at last not fighting each other, that he was at one with himself.

* * *

~*~When they reached the bed they climbed on and lay side by side, their tongues tasting each other, and hands roaming their heated skin. Their clothes dissolved out of existence as they both decided they were encumbering their progress. Hermione guided him into a sitting position and crawled up his long legs insinuating herself above his lap. Severus greedily pulled her close to him until she straddled him, her warm core hovering tauntingly just out of reach above his straining tumescent length. He gripped behind her knees and pulled them further behind him lowering her onto him, she rocked her hips, rubbing her slickened folds on his throbbing head, both moaning with pleasure into their entwined mouths. Severus lifted his hips to meet hers and they joined in a wondrous moment of pure bliss. Their individual emotions ramping each other up building them into a seemingly never ending crescendo of passion and pleasure. Hermione expertly rolled her hips and Severus grabbed her round taut bottom and guided her, helping her go even further until he felt that sweet spot and she clenched around him dropping her head back to let out a throaty moan. Her breasts bounced temptingly in his face and he released one hand to grab hold of one, latching onto the pert nipple with his mouth. Suckling and kneading at her soft luscious pillows, he gave the other the same attention, and then burying his face between them he looked up to watch the expressions of passion on her face. Her hands were gripping his shoulders for support.

Severus then flipped them in one skilful movement he then held one of her legs high up under his arms and he ploughed into her with deep penetrating thrusts.

"Oh Severus." Hermione moaned as he found the angle that caused her warm walls to clench and spasm tightly around him, feeling her climb higher and higher to her climax.

"You are so beautiful, Hermione, come with me." he begged her as he approached the point when he would no longer be able to hold off his own completion. He trailed his free hand down her body until he found her small sensitive bundle of nerves; he then caressed it and pinched it gently, slowly guiding her to completion. Her cries became more and more frantic as she begged him not to stop.

Severus cried out her name moments later feeling the pulsing spasms of her tight warm sheath as it greedily consumed him with its clenching tightness. His orgasm crashed over him in waves of pleasure as the ropes pulled him through to their very end. Severus dropped her leg and leaned over her to capture her lips, tasting their sweet fullness on his as her orgasm ran to completion, their hips still rocking together but slowing to a less frantic and more sensual pace as their sensitivity heightened. Hermione wrapped her arms around his torso, under his arms while he leaned on his elbows. When the spasming around his length slowed to random short bursts, Hermione pulled him down to lay on top of her wrapping her arms tightly around him and relishing the weight of him above her. After a moment of indulging her, he rolled to the side so that he wouldn't crush her and pulled her tight against his chest, brushing her curls from her face with the back of his fingers before planting a delicate kiss on her neck just below her ear.

* * *

"I love you Hermione. I wish I could give you more than just a spiritual example; that I could give you the time you'll never get to have." He whispered in her ear nuzzling her neck with his nose, and breathing deeply her scent of jasmine and honey. Hermione hummed in contentment burrowed deeper into his arms.

"I have my memories to sustain me, and I can add this one to my collection." she said with a wide grin on her face as chills spread across her entire body from his hot breath. She trailed her fingers across his side causing him to flinch, and she giggled quietly at finding his ticklish spot but left it be.

"Thank you, for letting me comfort you. It's been so hard to watch you suffer and not be able to really touch you, your soul is so precious to me Severus, and I've really missed your arms around me. Just stay with me here till you wake up, please, I want to keep you a little longer?" She pleaded.

Severus nodded and then kissed her forehead, moments later they were covered in a warm comforter and he basked in the warm arms that radiated her love wrapped all around him. While thoughts of Lily's death still paraded through his mind he was no longer a slave to his emotions and he thought long and hard over why he had clung to her for so long, before tightening his arms around Hermione's slender form, smelling her hair and finally drifting to sleep with a contented sigh.

* * *

A/N #2: I'm really sorry this fiction took such an extended darker turn. I had wanted to really blaze through the whole last 10 chapters, I'd planned to spend only 2 maybe 3 chapters on it all, but Kraco helped me to see that there was really too much that needed to be told. I needed to bring Severus through his darkness, he needed to loose his innocence and become the Professor Snape that we all love, plus there was still so much STUFF that I had to set up for the future.

I've come to realize this fiction was an extremely ambitious move on my part, considering it is my first ever. That being said I wanted to take a moment and assure you that:

**I will finish it**

Part of my procrastination has been dealing with some RL things, but I have manged to get them settled and have freed myself to be able work on this story full time all the way until January 2014, barring any unforeseen events of course. I REALLY hope it doesn't take me that long to finish it, I was aiming for September, but since it took me 2.5 months to get 30 chapters deep, the minimum of 60 chapters that I have in front of me I think might take just a bit longer. :)

So what can you expect? Many more chapters to be sure, I will be revealing the non-cannon 'artistic interpretations' of the original timeline and then I will literally be rewriting all 7 books for the new timeline, possibly even extending it further to post-hogwarts era... we will see it's too soon for me to say for sure.

As always I hope you all enjoy the ride, and stick with me on the journey! The SS/HG fun is about to start happening! are you excited?

TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS! I heart you all!


	32. The End of the Beginning

AN: see end of chapter for full notes.

Mood Music: 'Black Hole Sun' by Soundgarden

**Content Warning: PG-13, Teen: for scenes of violence.**

Disclaimer: not mine, no money!

* * *

**Chapter 31: The End of the Beginning**

Barty Crouch Jr. sat at his father's desk in the study thinking hard on what he was going to do. He had yet to prove himself as a faithful follower of the Dark Lord but he was not convinced that so great a wizard had been defeated on that fateful night months before by a child. No, the Dark Lord had power even over death Barty was sure of it, he'd felt his power radiating when he'd joined and it compared to nothing he had felt before. Barty was convinced that the Dark Lord needed his followers to remain faithful to find and help him regain his power after such an unexpected setback.

With no real interest in what he was reading Barty flipped through the pile of newspapers and assorted office memos that his Father, Barty Sr. had brought home from work. As Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and judge on the Council of Magical Law, his father was always working. He never stopped working; he even brought it home to continue working after his employees had all gone home. It was a rather sore spot for Barty who had for years tried to garner some affection from his father, ending up only despising him in the end and all the work he did. With a sneer at seeing his father's handwriting on a slip of paper he tossed it aside revealing a newspaper from earlier that week that he had not had a chance to read.

It caught his attention immediately because the headline read: **Sirius Black revealed as spy and follower to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.** Intrigued as he had never met or even seen a Sirius he read on.

**_In a shockingly violent standoff between two former friends Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, faced off in front of hundreds of Muggles in central London late last week. Both had disappeared the night their close friends James and Lily Potter were hunted down and murdered by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and __at__ the same__ time, the Dark Wizard__ was unbelievably defeated by their one-year-old son Harry Potter, who is __now__ known worldwide as The Boy Who Lived. It was also the same night Black's fiancée Marlene McKinnon, along with her mother and eleven-year-old sister's bodies were discovered __at the Potters resident. The__ Daily Prophet reporters have __been __search__ing__ high and low for these two friends to learn how they were affected by this tragedy, and would never had imagined the way the public would learn the truth behind this story of unthinkable betrayal. For the full story see page 5._**

Barty opened the paper immediately thinking he should keep better track of the news, if they had captured one of them and Sirius knew of others there was no telling how much longer they all had before they were ratted out. Finding the correct page, he resolved to meet with the Lestranges and see what they had planned they were the most devoted and high-ranking Death Eaters left, and if anyone was going to seek out the Dark Lord it was Bellatrix with her two muscled bodyguard's, her husband Rodolphus and his brother Rabastan. Barty pressed the paper flat and looked toward the entryway of the study listening nervously for his mother and her two visitors having tea. Hearing them still gossiping in the breakfast nook he read through the story quickly.

**_Witnesses to the confrontation that resulted in the mass murder of twelve muggles, say that Black cornered Pettigrew on the busy street and told the terrified little man he was going to kill him as he drew his wand. Moments later the entire area was destroyed by a massive explosion that knocked even Black himself unconscious from the shockwave of the blast. Only a finger was found to remain of Peter Pettigrew's body when Aurors and Members of the Department of International Secrecy arrived to deal with the terrible crimes committed by Sirius Black. As Aurors lead Sirius away it was clear he was insane as he laughed maniacally at the destruction that he'd caused__.__An anonymous source inside the Department of Magical Law Enforcement informed reporters that Black also__ claimed responsibility for the death of James and Lily Potter._**

**_Now less than a week after the horrible destruction, Sirius Black has been sentenced to life in Azkaban for his many crimes and his involvement with Voldemort. Due __to __the trial being closed to the public it is assumed that his trial proceeded quickly due to his own confession of guilt, though some whisper that he should have been given leniency due to his obvious mental impairment and instead been taken to the high security division of the Janus Thickey Ward of St. Mungos. _**

**_What do you have to say Dear Reader? Send your letters and opinions C.O. Daily Prophet Editor, and tell us how the Ministry should have handled their first of what we can only hope will be many captures of the criminals who followed You-Know-Who._**

A single photo was on the page that depicted a very crazed looking Sirius Black with a haunted expression as he laughed silently in the image while being apprehended by Aurors. Nothing was said about Sirius having a Dark Mark so Barty could only assume that Sirius was not a very prominent follower. Certainly not elite enough to have been given a Dark Mark as he had, he mused, rubbing his forearm where his mark was hidden. Just then, he heard the women making their way to the front door as their palaver was at an end. He stood quickly and moved to the other side of the room where they would not see him as they passed on their way to the front door.

Griselda Marchbanks and Augusta Longbottom were the visitors of Barty's mother, they met weekly for tea and exchange of gossip competing on who knew the most juicy news. The trio found much to discuss from the way Hogwarts should be run; from Griselda's expert position as governor of Wizarding Examination Authority, to the gossip of mystery and intrigue that Augusta would glean from her husband who held a desk job in the Department of International Secrecy, and lastly of the political tides of the law and public favor that Mrs. Crouch supplied from what she learned from her husband. If the powers that be only knew what information these three women could get their hands on they would faint with shock. These women knew much more than they should but always kept it between themselves, only dropping a line or hint to their partners or friends to tip them off in a certain direction for their own scheming, Barty had learned long ago not to take them for granted.

"Well, Augusta I'm sure you are exceedingly happy to once and for all meet your Grandson. Can you not say why Frank and Alice were so adamant to keep the boy hidden away up until now at Hogwarts? He isn't deformed is he; he's too young for you to know if he's a squib? What could they possibly have meant by secluding themselves like that?" The old Madame Marchbanks prattled on nosily. Augusta only snorted unflatteringly,

"Oh come Griselda, you know how much they'd opposed You-Know-Who while they were Aurors! They were tipped off that they'd become targeted and with their child on the way they thought it wise to find a safer employ than running around fighting Dark Wizards risking their lives. Besides, I've visited during the holidays and seen my Grandson so I know he's perfectly sound and with parents like my son and Alice there is no way the boy could end up a squib, so stop trying to rile me." Madame Marchbanks only laughed at her miffed friend as she put on her cloak. Mrs. Crouch spoke up sweetly ever the peacemaker,

"Well, you know that we both are thrilled that they will be able to leave their confinement at Hogwarts after so long. I'll send Winky along with a house warming and welcoming gift for them. I know I can't wait to see the little Cherub. How long do you think before they will be ready for company Augusta?"

"I should think they are starved for it after over a year in hiding at that school." Griselda snarked earning a glare from Augusta who was pinning a horrid looking hat that had a stuffed vulture on top of it, she shoved the pin into it roughly and it bent out of shape becoming useless.

"Oh tarnation!" Augusta swore looking at the offending pin, Griselda grabbed her friends large red bag to dig out a new pin for her since her hands were full of the hideous vulture hat. Griselda then screeched dramatically and dropped the bag rubbing her fingers.

"Why the devil do you have a mouse trap inside your infernal bag?!" Augusta only laughed with mock maliciousness at the harridan and retrieved her bag from the floor, using her wand to summon out a new pin. Mrs. Crouch joined in with a small giggle.

"You remember Griselda, how Jared hid that fanged gerbil in her bag." Both friends laughed as Augusta fixed her hat smiling back at them.

"But that was years ago!" Griselda protested.

"You'd carry around a mouse trap too if you'd had a nasty rodent fly up your sleeve when you stuck a hand in your purse. My husband imagines himself a comedian; he's always playing nasty little practical jokes on me." Augusta defended.

Once they were all bundled and hatted they left through the front door to walk to the apparition point, where Madame Marchbanks returned to her office at the ministry and Augusta claimed to be apparating to Hogwarts to help her son and his family move back to their home for the holiday.

Barty knew that the Lestranges had been the ones assigned to capture the Longbottoms and had heard from his fellow Death Eaters that there was some prophecy concerning their son and the Dark Lord. He decided that once he had a good alibi for the evening he'd pop over to the Castle where the majority of the Death Eaters who were evading capture had taken up residence. Many had been identified in the battle where the Order and Aurors had infiltrated the unknown Castle, but they were all certain the location was safe as they had left behind all the portkey devices they'd use to infiltrate the location, and they'd been destroyed that night by the Dark Lord himself. Though as of yet there had been no attempts that he'd known of to apprehend or find those who were identified. The Aurors seemed to be waiting for them to show their faces, and Barty kept his ear to the floor around his father trying to catch wind of any movement from inside his department against the rogue Death Eaters still at large.

Rumors were flying around many prominent Pureblood families and raids were happening daily, their homes were being searched high and low to find proof of any dark magic or affiliation to the Dark Lord. Very shortly after the Dark Lord fell the Malfoy family came under heavy scrutiny as other Purebloods all pointed to him as hosting the extravagant Gala's in the family mansion. Malfoy claimed he'd been under the Imperius Curse, forced to use his families wealth and power to help the Dark Lord and then claimed to no longer have any memory of many of his dealings. A convenient though common claim of those who are victims of the spell, though he pointed out as proof of his innocence that he fought off the curse before the Dark Lord fell after the birth of his son, and managed to deny the use of his home for events any further. The contrite and devoted father card managed to pull a few tears of sympathy from the Wizengamot among whom he had many allies who would not want the finger pointed their way if Lucius's head were to roll. Instead, he was cleared of any charges and only subjected to submit to Ministry raids of his properties when they saw fit, as punishment and a way to monitor his activities.

* * *

On Boxing Day, a week later Frank and Alice said their goodbyes to Augusta and Jared as they stepped through the floo to their own home. Alice took a seat in her rocking chair with Neville and for a few minutes, she blew bubbles with her bubble gum causing it to pop loudly and Neville to giggle and shriek with laugher as he crinkled the wrapper and bounced on her lap happily. Frank laughed and smiled at them then brought her a copy of The Tales of the Beetle Bard so they could start his bedtime routine. Frank took up a seat on the sofa, lounging as he listened to his wife read a story to their son. When Alice was finished, she set the book on a small table beside her and looked at her husband worriedly.

"I know so far nothing has happened and we've been quite safe though I can't help but feel as though danger is looming over my head since we left the castle. It's made enjoying the holiday nearly impossible. Couldn't we just go back to Hogwarts? I'd feel so much better." Alice asked him in a troubled tone as she rocked in the chair with their son. Frank sighed and rubbed his hand down his face stressfully.

"I know I've tried to ignore it all week but I feel the same way. I just didn't want to feel like I was cowed and scared into hiding. The Dark Lords gone now, sure there are Death Eaters at large but we've faced them before. We're Aurors Alice, we can hold our own and protect ourselves. This hiding business the last few years has been really hard on me." Frank confided in her.

Alice knew it all already they'd talked about it endlessly and it was why she'd finally relented to his badgering and agreed to come back to their home for the holiday. However, even with their training and skill they were still only two people and could be easily outnumbered. Not to mention they had Neville to think about, they couldn't be going around attracting Death Eaters with a baby to care for. With a sigh, Frank got up from the sofa and conceded defeat.

"I'll floo Albus and see if he'll let us come through and we'll just go sleep in our quarters tonight, alright?" Frank said looking at his wife dejectedly, obviously struggling to accept what he viewed as cowardly behavior in himself. Alice smiled at him reassuringly,

"You're a good father Frank, don't let your Gryffindor pride make you think anything else, you're trying to keep Neville safe that's all." She told him emphatically. Frank gave her a sad, resigned smile and tossed a handful of powder into the floo and called out for the headmaster's office then stuck his head in the flames.

"Albus it's Frank, have you got a moment? Oh sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Hello Severus, Argus." Alice heard from the floo not hearing the others responses. A moment later, she felt a cold dread wash over her as she felt foreign wards come down around her magical senses. Frank jumped back from the fireplace clutching his face as the floo connection was cut mid call and the fire reverted to normal and burned him. Alice whipped her wand out and doused him in cold water leaving his face red and looking like it would blister and his shirt and hair singed from the fire. Frank ignored his injuries, and pulled out his wand and got to his feet.

"Hide Neville, Alice quickly!" He told her as he conjured his fierce lion patronus and sent it off to inform the Aurors, knowing Dumbledore would figure out what had happened when he couldn't reconnect the floo call. He only hoped that help arrived in time and they'd be able to hold off whoever had just trapped them in their home. He struggled between cursing himself for bringing Neville outside the safety of the castle and feeling excited to be in the middle of the action once again.

Alice ran to the corner of the room and placed Neville sleeping in his blankets on the floor, tipping over rocking chair and side table to provide a barrier for him. Then she silenced him in case he woke and disillusioned the area, only just completing this when they heard the sound of glass shattering in the next room as their attackers broke through their protective wards and blasted out the windows to enter.

Alice took up a protective stance near Neville positioning herself away enough that no spells would be cast in his direction, when they would be fired at her and Frank. Frank tried to cast a protective ward quickly to stop them from entering the room but fell forward onto his hands and knees when Rodolphus crashed through the window behind him. Frank's wand snapped as he tried to break his fall, leaving him defenseless.

"Frank, look out!" Alice shouted and she tried to shield her husband from the curse aimed at his back. This left her open to attack and Rabastan joined the fight from behind his brother shouting a spell at her.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Alice went down hard, her Protego shield on her husband collapsing with her.

Bellatrix came cackling down the hall toward the room hearing that her diversion had been successful, while Frank tried to deftly roll and dodge their spells as he reached for Alice's wand. Unable to reach it without putting her in danger from one of the spells being fired at him Frank focused and performed his best bit of wandless magic, transforming himself into a tawny muscled lion with a huge golden mane that look identical to his patronus.

He whirled on his attackers and in one swift lunge chomped down on Rabastan's wand shattering it and shredding the man's hand in the process. Rodolphus blasted the giant cat with a Cruciatus curse, forcing it to turn on him and leave his brother to nurse his injury. The lion stumbled from the curse but through sheer force of will pushed through it and swiped at Rodolphus causing him to jump backwards and cancel the spell just as the lion collapsed from its effects with a loud roar. Bellatrix entered the room and quickly bound Frank in his animagus form to the floor with red-hot Incarcerous chains that singed and burned his fur while he roared and growled viciously struggling against them.

"Junior keep a lookout, I swear I saw a patronus leaving here." Bellatrix ordered Barty who tried to come in and join the fray. Then seeing Rabastan cradling his bloodied hand she rushed in and helped Rodolphus to his feet where he'd fallen backwards over an ottoman.

"Help Rabastan, I can handle this one." Bellatrix told her husband before she turned on Frank and proceeded to torture him. Not remembering the spell that she needed to force him out of his transformation Bellatrix used all her magical weight of her favored curse instead, hoping the pain of Cruciatus would force him to change back. His mind broke under the force of her spell after five endless minutes of pain, and when it did, he reverted to his human form but his eyes were lifeless and distant. He lay coughing and gasping for air but otherwise comatose.

Bellatrix shook with glee from the spell and cackled shrilly, before wavering slightly on her feet from the amount of power she'd used for it. Rodolphus stepped forward having finished tending to Rabastan pulling his brother to his feet and supporting him by his good arm pulled across his shoulder.

"We're running out of time Bella! You've gone and destroyed his mind; we've got to get out of here before someone shows up from that patronus." He said angrily.

"We've got to know who betrayed us, Rudy. Someone tipped them off that they were targeted, one of our own, and we need to know who. I want to find them before they send the Aurors after us and stop us from finding the Dark Lord." Bellatrix replied her voice lilting with a crazed cadence of fanaticism.

"The Dark Lord is dead; we're not going to find anything! It's time to look out for ourselves so if we can't get the information on the traitor from the woman then we wait and try to find another source, we don't get caught!" Rodolphus argued with her. Bellatrix snarled at him and turned on Alice binding her in the same hot chains as her husband then cancelling the freezing spell so that she could speak. Alice's eyes filled with tears and the moment the freezing spell ended her voice cried out in agony for her husband.

"Silence! Who told you that you'd been targeted? How did you know?!" Bellatrix shouted over her pointing her crooked wand to the prone, crying woman's face.

"Dumbledore, the Order contacted us, Please! Let us go! Don't hurt him anymore!" Alice answered and begged, her voice sounded ragged and hoarse from the silent screaming she'd done while she watched Frank be tortured into insanity. It took all her effort not to look to the corner where Neville was hidden to make sure he was safe, praying that she'd seen the trajectory of every spell correctly and that his barricade had not been damaged.

"Who told the Order?! Where did they get their information from?!" Bellatrix demanded, poking her wand into Alice's throat roughly causing the woman to choke and gasp.

"I-I don't know." She choked out. The moment she did Bellatrix's patience ended and she blasted Alice point blank at her temple with a Crucio. Alice screamed until her voice no longer made any sound, her breath came out in wheezes, and gargles, as blood from her mangled tongue gagged her. Rodolphus getting anxious left Rabastan leaning against the sofa for support as he went to check on Crouch. Once his ears stopped ringing from all the screaming he heard the frenzied banging escape and shout of the newest Death Eater recruit that they'd left on lookout.

"Aurors!" Barty shouted as he disillusioned himself and quickly made his escape hoping they heard his word of warning. Rodolphus rushed back into the room shouting at Bellatrix that it was time to leave as he helped his brother escape. Rabastan was weak from the amount of blood he'd lost and desperately needed a blood replenisher and a wand, but his older brother would never leave him defenseless. Rudolphus wrapped his arm under his brother and pulled him to his feet as he brought the anti-disapparition wards down so they could leave.

"Bella we've got to go now!" He told her then he disapparated with his brother in tow. Bellatrix finally released her Crucio on Alice whose lifeless eyes now matched her husbands, then disapparated moments before a handful of Aurors stormed the building.

Moody was in the lead, having recovered from his injuries, thumping in on his prosthetic leg with a shiny new magical eye whirling in its socket.

"Get a tracer spell on them. Now!" Moody shouted waving the other Aurors forward as he surveyed the room, he stepped to Frank who was bound to the floor with a blistered face and banished the hot chains that bound him and his wife both.

He took out a medical portkey necklace and placed it around Franks neck.

"I will get them for you Frank, they will pay for what they've done." Moody told the young man he'd trained up to be one of the finest Aurors the department had. A fat tear leaked from his good eye as he moved to Alice and repeated the actions as Frank disappeared behind him to receive the medical attention he needed.

"Poor lass, fighting to the very end. Where's your boy eh?" He said as his eye whirled around the room looking for Neville. "Fought like a lioness tonight you did." He said to her grey distant eyes as his magical eye found the invisible barrier where she'd hidden Neville. As she disappeared and Moody moved to collect the child, Dumbledore stepped into the room.

"I'm afraid you won't get a trace on them as they've gone directly to their safe house." Dumbledore announced as he entered, Moody rounded on Dumbledore angrily his rage boiling over at the prospect of the criminals getting away.

"A safe house that we should have inside information to be able to get to, if I'm not mistaken Albus!" Moody raged, his team of Aurors cringing and flinching. One Auror leaned in to another and whispered worriedly.

"I'm with Crouch on this one; I think Moody should have taken more vacation day's he's on the verge of insanity at the rate he's going." His partner turned him away from the argument between Albus and Moody hushing him.

"Gave the man some credit Borus, you know how close he and Abigail were. Look what the man suffered trying to protect her, only for her to die from that unknown curse from Dolohov. Sure he's on a warpath but that just means he's more determined than ever to capture the bastards." The man named Borus harrumphed and muttered under his breath.

"The man's unstable, I don't care what you say, he's gone mad I tell you."

"You two get over here!" Moody shouted angrily at the pair who both jumped and quickly joined the circle where the other Aurors were gathering around an old broken broom.

"It appears our informant is useful at last, we've got a portkey delivered by Dumbledore that will take us to a Death Eater hideout. None of you were present for the last ambush, but it did not go well." Moody's eye zipped and whirled in its socket as he quickly took in each of their faces.

"I've been assured that we will arrive at a tactical location on the grounds where we can set up a perimeter; Albus is going to deliver more Portkeys to the Aurory so that backup will arrive shortly behind us. However, it's up to us to get in there and trap them until our forces arrive, let no one get by you. You each know your roles and your partners. Never. Leave. Your. Partners. On three!" Moody shouted down at them and then counted off, unsettled murmurs going through the eight Aurors at Moody's harsh ending orders. All knew with succinct clarity just how much that particular order meant to their leader, how he blamed himself for the death of his own partners Fabian and Gideon Prewett. Moments later, they blinked away.

* * *

The nine Aurors arrived in the gardens of Morgraig castle and quickly set up their perimeters. They left the extensive and ancient wards on the building intact so as not to alert their targets of their presence but Moody ordered that they surround the entire castle with wards that would contain them; so that any attempting to cross the barrier would be turned to ash. The Aurors all shared a look of apprehension over the dangerous wards, one Auror stepped away to make sure that their incoming forces all knew of their deadly nature. The others moved to their positions and began casting the triad of shield wards. The words, 'Protego Maxima, Fianto Duri, Repello Inimicum,' were chanted in low whispers and carried away with the wind as the blue and gold bubble of magic encased the entire castle just outside its walls.

Within minutes, the wards were in place and their numbers had tripled as the rest of the Aurors had arrived. They split into three groups and each took a different entrance into the home, only Moody, Head Auror Crouch and his second in command, the leaders for each team, were witness to the house elves that quietly opened the doors to the castle to admit the invaders, each pointing the way toward those they sought before winking away silently.

Moody's group followed their leader toward the entrance of the large stately drawing room that haunted his nightmares. While the other groups cleared rooms on their way, Moody bypassed them all for the room pointed out by the elf. This caused his team to feel anxious as they eyed the unchecked doors that left their backs exposed. Holding for a moment just outside the door where they could hear the rise and fall of voices in the room beyond, Moody paused only long enough for them to form up their positions before he banished the doors to the room and rushed inside with his team at his back.

Bellatrix and her husband stood arguing behind a chaise lounge where the more proficient Rookwood was treating Rabastan for his injuries. Stupefys and Expeliarmus spells flew from Aurors wands, taking down Rookwood who had his back to the door, and Rabastan who was defenseless without his wand. Bellatrix and Rodolphus put up much more of a fight managing to block a few spells but became overwhelmed by the nine that were against them, and the Death Eaters were all disarmed and bound in magic suppressing chains. Moody had all his attention on securing them until his magical eye whirled to the back of his head and he whipped around to follow it.

"Finite Incantatum!" he roared at the shimmer that was creeping along the wall toward the exit. It revealed Dolohov and Crouch Jr. trying to sneak by the Aurors, the moment their disillusionment was canceled the pair bolted toward the door in a run. Crouch in the lead stunned one of the two Aurors that had posted up as rear guard in the doorway. Dolohov blocked and parried the spells that Moody was blasting at him, when he reached the door he slashed out a cutting curse and dropped the remaining guard to one knee and moved to run past him, barely ducking Moody's explosive rage at seeing another fallen at his nemesis hands.

The massive Reducto hex flew over Dolohov's head and out the doorway into the approaching team of back up that had caught Crouch Jr. in his mad dash to escape. Two Aurors at the back of the group that had tackled and wrestled Crouch Jr. to the floor had seen the hex and managed to throw up shields that were strong enough to protect the group from injury but knocked the entire lot to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs.

Crouch Sr.'s team came rushing to aid at the sound of the fighting, descending the stairs, the last three of their team dragging with them, Greyback, Wilkes, and Travers who'd been found sleeping in the rooms on the second floor. Crouch stopped at the foot of the stairs dumbstruck at the sight of his son struggling to extricate himself from the tangle of limbs and get away before his captors regained their footing. One of his team saw his hesitation and quickly cast a Stupefy over his shoulder bringing Junior down in an unconscious heap. Another reached out and gripped the head Auror's shoulder reassuringly.

"It might not be what it seems Sir. Don't think on it now." He told him. The group was forced to pay attention to the fight that was ensuing between Moody and Dolohov, as curses and hexes flew toward the group at the stairs when Dolohov put himself between them and Moody hoping to cause him to hesitate. The other Aurors where too busy blocking spells that Dolohov dodged to be able to assist Moody in the capture. Crouch Sr. shouted with a magically enhanced voice.

"Alastor! Stand down!" The shout caused Dolohov to flinch and duck and as he did he took Moodys next curse full in the face. Moody had heard the order to stand down but was not about to stop before he saw Dolohov in chains, his rage and vengeance boiling within him, wanting to see justice done for the crimes Dolohov had committed. He ignored the order and cast the cutting curse that Dolohov used on him. Bright red, razor-thin cuts appeared on the left half of Dolohov's cheek and temple from Moody's dark hex, and he dropped to his knees holding his face in his hands. Another Auror safely landed an Expelliarmus causing his wand to fly from his hand, Dolohov tried to reach and grab it from the air unsuccessfully. Moody descended on Dolohov, his magical eye rolling and zipping in its socket only added to his crazed look. Crouch Sr. was enraged at Moody for ignoring his order and disarmed him to force his obedience.

"STAND DOWN!" He shouted again, as he caught the lunatic Aurors wand. Other Aurors stepped forward and secured Dolohov as Crouch tore into Moody.

"You are suspended from duty Auror Moody, for disobeying a direct order and for your careless regard for the safety of the other Aurors. You were throwing spells right at us instead of allowing us to do our job as back up. You have endangered the lives of everyone here, have you gone mad? You should have taken my advice and continued your leave of absence to get your head on straight. As it is, you're facing a disciplinary hearing to determine if you are fit to return to further duties. Now stand aside!" Crouch shouted at him. Then he whirled on the rest of the Aurors who were trying not to stare in shock at seeing the much-respected Auror go crazy and then reprimanded publicly.

"Gather them up and get them all ready for transport. You four make a secondary sweep of all the rooms again to make sure there are none left in hiding." Crouch ordered them around.

The ones holding prisoners began dragging them together as a group for transportation to Azkaban. With a crash and scuffle, Wilkes managed to trip the Auror that was leading him down the stairs and then bolted around the stairs and out the back entrance. He dodged and ducked the spells thrown at his back looking over his shoulder as he stumbled with his bound hands and ran through the garden. The Aurors stopped chasing him halfway through the garden and started shouting at him.

"Stop! There are wards!" However, it was too late Wilkes ran right through the wards and vanished into the breeze in a small cloud of ash when he stepped into the barrier. Those who gave chase returned and reported what had happened to their greatly shaken leader.

"Who have we captured, can anyone identify the man who was killed trying to escape?" He looked around trying desperately not to look at his son lying unconscious next to where they had begun lining up the other prisoners.

"His name was Wilkes sir." An Auror replied over the all sounds of struggle and shouted instructions.

The prisoners that were still conscious were fighting against their bonds and giving their captors a hard time at trying to contain them. Moody unable to handle their incompetence spoke up from where he'd been pacing the room angrily at being left wandless.

"You bunch of incompetent fools. Freeze them! Stun them, for Morgana's sake!" He snatched a wand from out of one of his team member's hands, and cast a Stupefy on Dolohov before throwing the wand back at its owner who flinched and let the wand clatter to the floor. The others quickly followed his instructions and the room shortly settled into order. Crouch ignored Moody for a moment seeing as he had a point and turned toward his second in command.

"Report, who do we have?"

"Rudolphus Lestrange and his wife Bellatrix. This one 'ere needs medical attention probably from their fight with the Longbottoms, e's Rabastan Lestrange for sure. All three 'ave already been identified as Death Eaters from the ambush in August. Over there we've got Fenrir Greyback who's got a list longer than me arm of assaults and crimes of spreading lycanthropy." The Auror answered holding a clipboard where he was using his wand to create the intake forms for each prisoner. As he stepped up to or pointed out each one to Crouch.

"This 'ere is Augustus Rookwood, he was treating Lestrange's wounds and we ain't got anything on 'im, he was knocked out right away see so never fought us, et possible 'e was coerced or forced here to provide the medical care. Then Travers right, he's a shady bloke he was suspect in a handful of attacks before but has proven rather slippery to locate and me thinks 'e 'as friends high up that have kept his nose clean and keeping warrants from being issued on 'im." He eyed the Head Auror who turned his back to the prisoners as they neared his son, and then he proceeded delicately.

"Junior's got nothing, clean as a whistle, maybe fell in with the wrong crowd, or 'e is being used to get information on you sir. Not to fret sir, I'm sure your son 'asn't got notin to do wif this lot."

"That is no son of mine." Crouch Sr. said viciously, and then stalked away letting his Auror's take the prisoners away to Azkaban.

"Keep this out of the papers, I only want it released that we've captured a Death Eater who is being interrogated for information leading to the capture of others. Let's see if we can scare some more into defecting in hopes of avoiding sentencing." Crouch told them. Looking around the grand castle suspiciously wondering whom it belonged to and wanting to know who had given them the tip to begin with, eager to question said person on his son's involvement with the criminals.

* * *

After Moody and his team had portkeyed from the Longbottoms home, Albus turned and spoke to the air behind him.

"Severus will you stay behind and secure the area and put their home to rights? I'll be right back once I deliver this to the Crouch." Without waiting for acknowledgement from Severus who was disillusioned in the hall, Albus disapparated away. The pair had arrived just as Alice was portkeyed away for medical treatment and Severus had seen the lifeless expression in her eyes and it haunted him. How he wished they had listened he thought, looking around the room, he realized that no one had said anything about the whereabouts of their son Neville. Severus couldn't very well show up at St. Mungo's now and demand to know if the child was there and alright since it would blow his cover, he decided to search the home to see if Alice and Frank had managed to place the child somewhere safe.

He started around the room repairing damaged furniture as he went, when suddenly he tripped on something small, soft and invisible. Stumbling away, he tried not to step on whatever it was again and felt horrified that he might have just unknowingly crushed the child. He cast a Finite in the direction he'd stumbled from and the room was immediately filled with the shrill terrified cries of Alice and Franks son.

Behind the boy appeared the barricade he'd been hidden behind, it was pushed apart only just enough for the child to have crawled through as he no doubt tried to reach for his mother. Severus cast a quick diagnostic charm on him to make sure that he was not injured and was relieved to find him whole. The poor boy was terrified and had huddled himself into a ball like a kitten and cried into his hands at the sight of the dark figure before him. Severus grabbed the abandoned blanket from behind the makeshift barricade, tossed it over the boys back, and then rubbed it soothingly making little shushing sounds that he always used to calm Draco. Neville sat up gabbing on to his blanket and rubbing his face into it.

Severus tried to pick him up to comfort him, but the moment the boy looked up and saw him he went into hysterics again and pushed away from him. Not wanting to traumatize the child Severus stepped away from him and scratched his head in thought on how to comfort him. He decided on calling Minerva to help him and sent off his raven patronus requesting her assistance at the Longbottom residence. He had no idea how long Dumbledore was going to be and Minerva was the only other Order member he knew for sure could get there quickly. Minutes later he heard her apparate outside and then met her at the front door.

"Severus? Good grief why haven't you comforted the child?" She said to him as she heard the cries from outside.

"I can't Minerva, he's terrified of me. I only make him cry more when I try." Severus told her bitingly.

"Yes well is it any wonder? You terrify eleven year olds on sight, and he's not even out of nappies." She sniped back at him as she entered the room and scooped Neville up into her arms to comfort him. Severus made a moue of disgust and then covered his nose.

"Yes well he's apparently now soiled his; you should change him before we all perish from the fumes." He said while she crooned to him comfortingly.

"There, there, lad you will be just fine." she said with a glare at Severus as she left the room hiding Neville's eyes as they passed by Severus in her exit.

"Yes, well add it to your list of accomplishments Severus; you've literally scared the shite out of a child. Make yourself useful would you and make him a bottle. Then you'll have to go because I'll need to get his grandmother to come and take him." She called over her shoulder.

"Bossy witch." Severus muttered as he made his way to the kitchen and found a bottle prepared in a cooled pantry and applied the heating charm he'd learned from taking care of Draco. He took it down the hall and tapped lightly on the door to the nursery where Minerva was fussing over him and waited for her to come get the bottle. She reached through the crack in the door with Neville's head on her shoulder as he sniffled and hiccupped from all his crying. Feeling the warm bottle she looked at Severus in shock.

"You forget I have a godson that's the same age, of whom I've very fond of and care for regularly when I visit." Severus said quietly interpreting her expression.

"You are full of surprises Severus." She said and Severus rolled his eyes at her and then turned to leave so that she could call the boy's grandmother to take him away to safety.

Severus didn't leave the house, he disillusioned himself and patrolled the perimeter of their home until he heard Augusta Longbottom leave through the floo with her grandson, then he apparated back to the gates of Hogwarts. On his trek back up to the castle he fretted with what had happened to the Longbottoms. He'd told Albus to keep them at Hogwarts until all the Death Eaters were rounded up, but he knew that Frank had been insistent that the danger had passed since Harry was targeted and not Neville and then the Dark Lord died and the prophecy had obviously been fulfilled. He tried to keep his distance from the couple publicly but privately he had attempted to urge Alice to change her husband's mind to stay put in the castle longer. Alice had explained to him Franks reasoning and while Severus admired his bravery and desire to not run and hide from a fight he couldn't help but curse his Gryffindor foolishness. Indeed their actions that night had lured the Death Eaters into the open and allowed the Aurors to attack without Severus giving up his position as a spy to capture them all.

_But at what cost?_ He remembered the warning he had gotten so many years ago to save the Longbottoms and he called out to Hermione,

"What happened to Frank and Alice Longbottom before? He said I could save them."

Severus asked her as he made it to the huge doors of the school's entrance.

"According to the memories, they were tortured into insanity by Bellatrix the same night Voldemort killed Harry's parents. He arrived before the Aurors just moments after the attackers left and saw their lifeless expressions. It apparently affected him very deeply for not getting to them sooner, he spent the rest of his life studying Occlumency, and Legilimency because he had a theory that he could help them repair their broken minds. When he found me the day everything changed for us, Bellatrix had done the same thing to me, tortured me to insanity, and he'd been called in to interrogate me for the information she'd failed to get. He was able to test his knowledge and theory on me and succeeded in teaching me to repair my minds constructs." Hermione told him. This was a lot of information much more than Severus had known of what had happened between Snape and Hermione and he was brimming with questions, but he needed to know if he could do anything for Frank and Alice and forced himself to contain his curiosity until he knew what he could do for them.

"So then I should be able to help them, if the same had been done to you then you can show me how to help Frank and Alice, and they won't have to live mindless for the next sixteen years in St. Mungo's?" Severus questioned hopefully, not wanting the couple to suffer the same fate as before, desperately wanting to get something right.

"Yes you should be able to, though you'll have to be very careful. You cannot touch them at all when you do find them wherever they have hidden inside their minds. And if they are hostile then your job becomes even harder." She told him, Severus thought on it for a moment. She was right, any contact between them would start an imprint, and he didn't exactly want to start imprinting with all and sundry and doubted they would appreciate it either when they finally come back to themselves.

* * *

The following week Severus joined the Malfoys for their New Year celebrations, after having a lavish meal and spending a few hours visiting with Narcissa until it was time for Draco to go down for the night, he and Lucius stepped in to his private study for drinks. Severus poured their drinks and approached Lucius handing him a tumbler as the blonde haired man stared out the window into the darkness deep in his thoughts. He accepted the glass and swirled the liquid before taking a small sip, to Severus it was obvious he had something he wanted to say. Severus waited quietly for his friend to gather his thoughts and his courage, when he finally spoke his tone was haughty and disdainful.

"Did you read the paper this morning? It seems that Igor Karkaroff is eager to separate himself from being associated with our master, no doubt terrified of losing his new position as Headmaster of Durmstrang that the Dark Lord arranged for him." He sneered then took a large gulp of his drink. Severus leaned against the opposite side of the window and looked at Lucius sideways,

"Indeed? I had not a chance to read it." Severus answered.

He knew Lucius was rather resentful of the position he was in. He was under heavy scrutiny and had lost much of his privacy due to many prominent families trying to point the finger of blame or involvement away from them. It wasn't as if Lucius hadn't already come to some internal decision to turn away from the Dark Lord, Severus had noticed his reluctance from the day he feared that Draco was the child of prophecy.

The problem was that Lucius had been forced out into the public eye in a disgraceful way, having to claim that he was manipulated and Imperioused for his fortune and position in society. Severus new better than anyone how hard a blow it was to his pride, and how negatively he viewed anyone willing to turn in their brethren to save their own hide. Severus suppressed a small smirk at how Gryffindorishly loyal it was, and how angry Lucius would be if he'd pointed it out. Lucius downed the rest of his drink and continued with a snort.

"Yes, well I hope the fool realizes the damage he's done to his precious school, I foresee Durmstrang having much diminished enrollment in the years to come. Pureblood families are not going to send their sons to a school run by a coward and a turncoat. Why, I was talking to Crabbe and Goyle over lunch and they've both removed their son's names from enrollment now, said they'd rather their sons have a decent pureblood like you as their Head of House, even if Dumbledore is running the school."

Severus only partially heard what Lucius was saying, as he had worried over whether Karkaroff would try to turn him in as well. Severus was sure that with Karkaroff limited presence at meetings it was very likely he didn't even know more than a handful of people to turn in, but Severus had been introduced by name to him by the Dark Lord. He needed to get to Dumbledore quickly and see if there was any way to keep Karkaroff quiet.

"Speaking of turncoats," Lucius said bringing Severus back to their conversation warily. "I can't help but wonder Severus if I ought to be worried about you. You never did say how the Aurors got into Morgraig or why they are not hounding you for an explanation about why your ancestral home was our base of operations." Severus bristled and stiffened slightly then knocked back the rest of his drink, growling.

"They got in because someone was followed with a trace on them. I imagine once the trials are in full swing for those captured I will be approached, investigated and face the same punishment if not worse than what you have seen." Severus sneered meeting Lucius's eye with a supercilious expression. Lucius winced at his response,

"Excuse my misinterpretation of your situation Severus; one can't be too suspicious in these times." Severus nodded to him and then moved off to take a seat in an armchair in front of the fireplace, staring into the flames in thought. Lucius refilled their drinks then joined him in the chair opposite to him with a concerned expression.

"Surely you have an escape route, some way of avoiding blame? What of your relationship with the Headmaster does he trust you enough now to help clear your name?" Lucius asked. Severus knew he was feeling out the waters to figure out if he needed to offer his assistance. In his position, he couldn't afford any more negative affiliation, but Lucius knew he owed Severus since he'd offered up his home to give the Malfoys some distance from the Dark Lord when Draco was born.

"It is a possibility, one I'm developing since it's my safest option. When the Dark Lord regains power I will be perfectly positioned as his spy as he ordered if I can get the Headmaster to believe I've defected now." Severus told him as he scrutinized his friend with a blank stare. This was a test to see if Lucius was truly ready to turn his back on the Dark Lord. Lucius seemed surprised and a little scared by Severus words and Severus felt a seed of hope blossom inside him.

"You believe he will return?" Lucius asked in disbelief. "I thought only Bellatrix was crazy enough to consider that, surely he is dead, they have his body." Lucius said a slight wishful hope to his voice as he tried to sound incredulous. Severus considered his friend for a moment tracing his lip with his finger while he debated how to answer. Lucius felt a familiar chill creep up his spine as he for a moment saw the Dark Lord sitting before him instead of the man he considered his friend and confidant. He frowned and blinked and the image was gone when Severus leaned forward and smirked.

"You're right it is crazy, call me paranoid then. I'd like to be prepared for any eventuality." Lucius mouth twitched into a brief smile to acknowledge what was said, but couldn't shake the disturbing image he'd seen and they sat in silence for a while before Lucius spoke up again. Severus was unaware of his friends disturbing vision, he believed that Lucius was struggling to decide if he could trust him to come out as a defector from the Death Eater ranks, but it seemed to him that it was still too soon.

"On that note, were you able to remove your dark artifacts before the first raids?" Severus questioned conversationally draping his hand over the side of his chair toward the fireplace to warm his hand as he stared into the flames. Lucius answered readily feeling they were back in friendly territory.

"I removed all of them from here to our vault in Gringotts after Draco was born. Since I'm being monitored it will all remain there for the time being. I'm only able to access the funds in my vault via my vault manager, all other visits and withdraws have been suspended pending the Ministry's appraisal of its items." Lucius's snobbish attitude had returned and Severus felt confident that if Lucius had been given anything by the Dark Lord it would have been safely locked away in his vault along with everything else. The only problem was there would be no way for Severus to hint at removing everything to a safe place while his vault was frozen, he'd have to see if Dumbledore could get an Order member on the team that would be inventorying the vault that could search for the journal.

* * *

Later that evening Severus sat in Dumbledore's office recounting the conversation he had with Lucius.

"I think it's very likely that Karkaroff is going to name me. I was one of the few he knew by name and I'm one of the only ones left for him to turn in." Severus explained.

"Then I will meet with Minister Bagnold and Mr. Crouch in the morning and secure your full pardon. Are you prepared to meet with them on this count; you know how much to tell them to garner their trust?" Dumbledore questioned him.

"I know how much I'm not going to tell them." Severus answered darkly.

"What about Lucius, is he willing to help you in this as well? Having his help would make your avoidance more ambiguous of a move." Dumbledore recommended. Severus had to admit he was right. It would make it seem like he had used every option available to avoid Azkaban and less as if he'd defected if he had Lucius to pull strings with people in high places. However, Severus wasn't so much concerned with that since the Dark Lord had assigned him to appear to defect to Dumbledore, he'd have to suffer the suspicion of others to fully convince the Dark Lord when he returned.

"Lucius is not in a stable enough position to help me; and I would decline his help if he offered it for that very reason. It's going to be up to you and me." Severus told him rubbing his face tiredly before continuing with his report.

"I think he is closer to turning his back on the Dark Lord, he only hesitates in saying so to me since I cannot come out and tell him I'm a spy; it's too risky. I think it would be a good idea for someone in the Order to try to contact him and make him an offer." Dumbledore leaned forward on his elbows and steepled his fingers.

"I will find someone who is suitable to approach him then, is that all? You look as though you are ready to turn in for the night."

"Just one more thing, I'm pretty certain the journal Horcrux is in Lucius's vault. He said he placed all the dark artifacts from the Manor there after Draco was born. However, the Ministry has frozen his vault so he only has access to his gold until they inventory it. Can you get an inside man on that crew to search and remove the journal?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at the news and Severus could swear he saw the wheels turning in head.

"Well, it seems I do have my work cut out for me then, well done my boy. If that's everything I'll say good night to you and I will be in touch tomorrow with news of our meeting with the Minister." Dumbledore stood and escorted Severus out of his office, placing a hand on his shoulder as they reached the door and showing Severus his confidence in their success through their imprint. Severus sighed and visibly relaxed then made his way tiredly to his quarters.

Dumbledore's confidence was not misplaced, the meeting with the Minister and Head Auror went very well and Severus was surprised at the type of information they requested in exchange for his pardon. Mr. Crouch demanded to know everything that Severus knew on his son's involvement with their group. Severus was reluctant to share very much detail but after receiving a significant look with Dumbledore he informed the grieving father the truth, that his son had eagerly participated at every given opportunity, and told him that he'd cast the spell that killed Fabian Prewett. The fathers face tightened as he sought to control his despair when his last shred of hope for his son was destroyed.

"Thank you for your honesty. I would not want the truth to come to light and for me to be accused of being lenient because he is my son. He will face punishment for his crimes the same as anyone will." Mr. Crouch told them and then remained silent for the remainder of the meeting. Minister Bagnold demanded to question Severus under Veritaserum and surprisingly only asked for information on Dark Marks, the Taboo, and for Severus to declare himself an enemy to the Dark Lord and a fighter against him.

Dumbledore even spoke up as the willing participant to prove that Severus was telling the truth calling Lord Voldemort's name multiple times proving the taboo was broken. Later when Karkaroff stood trial, as suspected he named Severus Snape as a Death Eater. Dumbledore stepped in immediately from where he sat among the Wizengamot.

"Minister Bagnold, Severus Snape has already been fully pardoned, I move to have his name stricken from these records." Dumbledore had announced sending a murmur through the lawmakers and judges that were gathered. Karkaroff's eyes bulged as he panicked and started giving away every name he could think of.

The damage done to Severus reputation from even this small remark, though very miniscule, it was still enough for it to affect him. From then on, people whispered that Severus was a former Death Eater that had gotten away because of his connection with Dumbledore. However, among the Pureblood crowd it only served to increase their respect for him, while among his students made him even more terrifying.

With the Death Eaters mostly captured, and his cover intact Dumbledore and Severus were able to throw themselves into their projects against the Dark Lord, knowing they only had a handful of years to try to make him mortal before he managed to regenerate himself a new body. Severus spent the following years trying to help Frank and Alice, while Dumbledore did some very in depth investigation into Tom Riddle's past to find out the locations of other possible Horcruxes.

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_AN: Hello Readers! _

_I've decided to move my AN to the end of the chapter and I'm slowly going to go back and change the formatting of all my previous chapters as well. No need to worry it's just me creating more work for myself!_

_We've at last arrived at the end of the Marauders era, and I can't help but laugh at myself as I remember thinking this would happen back at chapter 20. The next chapter may take longer for me to release, I've got a lot of organizing to do to make sure I'm fully prepared for the time leap. OH by the way... the next chapter is a time leap. ^.^ We'll be jumping from 1983 to 1991 when book 1 begins. _

_That brings me to another topic I thought I would address since I've received a couple questions about it. A lot of you have noticed that despite Severus having knowledge of the future everything seems to end up near the same as it had before. My take on foreknowledge is that it would only affect the actions of the person(s) who knew differently since they would then do things differently as a result. However, them knowing doesn't change what everyone else in the story will do, UNLESS they do something to that significantly changes or affects those people who don't know. It's for this reason that thinks like Moody's battle with Dolohov reflects what he might have gone through in canon and how he might have obtained his scars. Since much of the Marauder story is very limited in detail, I took artistic liberties to describe how I thought some of these things would happen in a way that would build each of those characters. Does this make sense? In doing a time-turner fiction I didn't want to make the story and the characters so unrecognizable and the situations they were in so far from the original that you would not be able to recognize them. To me it seems that time would plod on as it always had, repeating as it did in the past but for the changes that foreknowledge of the situations would force. _

_Enough of my rambling._

_A few announcements: Congrats to Bluefirefly5 for getting the 500th Review! She requested art this time and I've completed it already so you all can find it on my Deviant Art page:_ luckyilexx dot deviantart dot com_. It is titled "Obsession" depicting a scene from Chapter 4. Check it out! _

_400th review one-shot for BlueFirefly5 is not yet complete! /shame. I've gotten upset with it and gone back to the drawing board, it's kind of why this chapter is so late as I was determined to finish and post it before I started on the chapter. It is coming I promise, I'm so sorry!_

**IN THE MEAN TIME**

**Everyone check out Kraco's first every story! It's smutty little romantic one shot called 'Slytheriness'. Also be sure to follow because in the future she'll be posting a SSHG marriage law fiction. I'm beta'ing for her and trust me you will ALL wand to read it! **

**BETA HOLLA TO KRACO! any mistakes you find are my fault, I fiddled with it after I got it back. Be sure to send her lots of virtual hugs for staying up late to get it back to me quickly. She'd so dedicated! **

**Please review, I love to hear what you have to say!**


	33. Enlightenment

**Mood Music: 'Lights' by Myon & Shane 54 (feat. Aruna) (5vel Remix)** **lyrics quoted below******

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize, JKR owns the Harry Potter universe and I'm just playing in her sandbox.

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**"So come on let's cross to the other side_._**

**Hold on tight, just close your eyes and listen. **

**And listen. And listen."**

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**Chapter 32: Enlightenment**

**July 1991**

"What would you have me do Severus?" Dumbledore gave an exasperated sigh at the antics of his trusted confidant and most valued friend, whose silken baritone answered in annoyance.

"You're Albus Twinkling Dumbledore, I'm bloody well sure that you have a trick or two to pull out of your hat or do I need to remind you that you're a wizard, for Morgana's sake?!" Severus snorted, fuming angrily more to himself in frustration than to the headmaster, "As if you couldn't figure out some sleight of hand to convince a single pathetic politician like Fudge to stop two known criminals from escaping Azkaban." The black robed figure billowed back and forth in the headmaster's sitting room as he paced in agitation while ranting.

Albus just held his silence and let the tall, thin man have his frustrations out. Eight years and as many months after the death of Tom Riddle and capture of many of his followers; had not been kind on Severus Snape. The once fresh faced, young looking man had run himself ragged, racing against time to try to find and identify the remaining Horcruxes. It made the headmaster feel so old being dragged along on endless quests to search out new locations and clues by the seemingly tireless black haired wizard.

Their efforts had taken a toll on them both, and Albus felt Severus' increasing desperation every time he made use of their imprint. He knew exactly how much Severus feared his father's return to power, the young man knew very intimately the Dark Lord's descent into complete madness that came after the shattering of Tom Riddle's mutilated soul. Severus knew most of the memories from his former life as if they were his own at this point, and the knowledge of them weighed on him heavily.

It was in moments like these when Albus saw the weight of Severus' burdens that he was able to ignore the gnawing sense of guilt he had for withholding a few secrets from him; if only to save Severus from becoming completely hopeless. It strengthened his resolve to keep them secret until he was completely sure that their future was as grim as that information made it appear. Severus' continued tirade brought Albus out of his worried musings.

"So are we to just sit back and watch while Crouch and Black tip toe through the tulips right into the Dark Lords hands?" Severus gestured wildly into the air then rubbed a hand down his scruffy face. He was in near agony at having the knowledge of what would happen and not being able to do a single thing to take action or else ruin his cover and years of hard work completely.

"I'm sorry, Severus there is simply nothing more that can be done than what we are already doing. I can't give Fudge the proof he demands to back our information, we simply have to hope that the Minister will heed our warning and keep a vigilant watch for the good of the citizens. Besides Sirius may have made his mistakes but I feel confident that he will not return to them if and when he breaks out of Azkaban." Severus shook his head in disgust, as he spun on his heel and continued his pacing. Severus honestly didn't care so much if Black managed to get free, the only reason he included the knowledge of his escape was in the hope of impressing on Fudge the seriousness of the problem; that not one but two criminals would escape from the 'supposedly' inescapable Azkaban. In the end it didn't even make a difference, Fudge was so blinded by his ambition and his fear of Dumbledore trying to steal the Ministry seat from him that he discounted everything Dumbledore said.

The headmaster continued the conversation they'd had so many times in one form or another, it was like putting on an old shoe, as he easily slipped into the reassurances that Severus needed to hear to be able to calm his panicked aggravation.

"Let us not forget our successes; even though Peter evaded capture, we have at least prevented him from hiding in our midst as a spy. There's no way he could pass his animagus form for the white rat that young Percy has replaced him with. We have found and destroyed the locket and the ring, our two major successes. We know the diary is locked safely in the Malfoy vault, and have been lucky enough to have had Ministry cooperation in keeping his vault frozen so it would remain there while we try to get an inside man in place to retrieve it. We have enough solid evidence to believe that the three other Horcruxes are heirlooms of each of the founders," Albus counted the Horcruxes down on his fingers as he went along as he had so many times before to try to show Severus that they were making progress.

"There is Helga's cup, Rowena's diadem, and there has got to be something of Gryffindor's we just haven't yet found anything significant." He tried to sound blasé about the parts where they really had not made progress, "Your journal memories say that another one is a snake familiar that will appear at his side when he returns to power which will be the hardest for us to reach, thus the last we will go after. We really only have to identify Gryffindor's heirloom and we'll know of them all and then be able to focus on finding and destroying them.* (See A/N below for a note on Horcruxes) On top of all of that, you have personally managed to save the life and future of one family. Alice Longbottom was able to return to her life of raising her child before the boy was even old enough to remember her absence and you continue to this day to try to do the same for Frank. They are most grateful to you even if they do not know who they owe their miracle too." Albus spoke to him with an optimistic tone, studying the scowling potions master.

"You have done everything you can, Severus, and we have made progress."

Severus pessimistically filled in the gaps with everything they had not accomplished in his head. The traitorous rat was still at large and able to aid the Dark Lord in regaining physical form. There was a very real chance of Pettigrew being joined by Crouch and possibly Black when they broke out of prison, since Fudge was not willing to believe that anyone could break out of Azkaban. They still had five Horcruxes left to destroy before they could hope to remove the tenuous grip the Dark Lord held on his existence. Of those five, they had only located the diary, which they could not reach. They had destroyed the Sorcerer's stone in secret half a decade ago, but what scared Severus the most was the upcoming confrontation between a Dark Lord possessed Quirrel and the Headmaster. Not knowing how that confrontation would end, and how much it would change their timeline and push it further into the unknown.

Severus collapsed into the chair he'd been pacing behind and pinched the bridge of his nose, and Albus sighed in relief that he'd given in to the little pep talk easily this time.

"I've gone over every memory my former has of his interactions with other the Death Eaters as well as my own memories in search of some clue or hint on who he might have used to protect or hide the other Horcruxes. The only notable thing I could find was a possibility of it being inside the Lestrange vault, but the inventory of their valuables that the ministry has on file shows nothing that could have been a founder's heirloom." Severus said morosely before continuing.

"Additionally, the only two items that I believe the Dark Lord would find worthy for his soul that belonged to Gryffindor was that ratty old hat and the sword, we both know it's neither of those."

"I will continue on my search for memories." Dumbledore assured him, happy to hear the end of this conversation; he hated thinking of Severus pouring over memories filled with endless hours of torture, and misery. Albus had a theory that Severus may as well have lived both lives; for the effect of viewing those memories in first person, feeling the emotions and the remembrances of pain that his alternate had felt, not just once but repeatedly, certainly had a lot to do with how tired and ragged he looked now.

"I've managed to arrange a few meetings with people who had contact with Tom around the time he was engaged to your mother and working for Borgin and Burke. I'm confident one of them will have a memory that will shed a little more light on the situation. Let's focus on what we can control right now." Dumbledore soothed as he leaned forward from were he sat across from Severus with a twinkle in his eye, knowing that he could entice the potions master out of his grim mood with a bit of baited bantering.

"I got an owl from Silvanus today telling me that his colleague Mr. Quirrell is interested in the Defense position and will be arriving with him in a week for a formal interview."

"So I take it that means Professor Kettleburn has recovered then from his foolish trip to discover a mythical dragon and will be returning to teach this year?" Severus drawled mockingly. He knew of only one other person so smitten with wild creatures, but even Hagrid's strange choice in 'pets' appeared tame when compared the Care of Magical Creatures Professor, Silvanus Kettleburn. He was the epitome of a reckless Gryffindor that there ever was, yet was somehow sorted into Hufflepuff. The man in question had more near death maulings by vicious and deadly creatures in his lifetime and it was enough to make Mad-Eye Moody with all his hideous disfigurements look like a mere pirate with a silly googly eye patch. If he'd lost another limb it meant he only had one and a half left intact.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled again as he nodded with that infernal omniscient smugness of someone who knew more than you. Severus rolled his eyes at the headmaster knowing he'd probably encouraged the eccentric and half limbless professor on his reckless crusade to find the mythical Bullar of Southern Albania.

"It was a rare opportunity to expand his knowledge of his profession, and if you remember we are a learning institution Severus. Besides the fact that he's lost another limb, only lends more credibility to his claim of discovering the location of Kucedra, the Hydra." Albus sat back smugly and gave Severus teasing grin.

"Need I remind you of your expedition into the middle of a Centaur territory war to obtain a rare strain of orchid, so you could experiment on creating a more potent headache potion?" Dumbledore teased, looking over his half-moon glasses, goading Severus into a lighter topic and successfully steering him from his anxiety attack. With a haughty sneer that only the Head of Slytherin could do with so little expression, a slight curl of his lip, Severus parried the verbal jab at him with a derisive tone.

"The Ghost Orchid is only rare, not mythological. Besides, I had found proof of the flower's fungal symbiont in the forest; I needed only to look long enough to find the flower. I challenge you to teach the ginger terror twins first year potions, without having your entire class obliterated every lesson from their reckless experimenting. Believe me; you'd be desperate for a stronger headache potion as well." Severus turned his head toward the fire trying to hide his suppressed smile at their friendly banter, but Albus caught the slight upturn in the corner of his mouth.

"What is your plan for Quirrell?" Severus asked after a few minutes of silence and staring into the fire. Albus sat back in his chair and tugged his beard thoughtfully.

"Either we'll talk like rational adults and I'll make him see reason and if that fails and I use force to exorcize Tom's mutilated soul from him. I'm hoping for the former." Albus said in complete seriousness.

"And if time has been altered and Quirrell is not possessed?" Severus asked. He didn't want to think that he'd already changed too much, they'd done everything in their power to keep their knowledge of the Dark Lord's actions a complete secret so that he didn't change his plans. No one but the two wizards conversing knew the Sorcerer's Stone had been destroyed and that Nicholas Flamel and his wife had stopped taking the Elixir of Life and had begun ageing naturally again.

"Then we'll have to do whatever we can to try to locate him. We will have to retrace the travel plans of Quirrell and Kettleburn and see if they changed their route last minute, or if there was somewhere they intended to go but didn't this time. Nevertheless, it is not the end of the world if time has been altered. I've already worked everything out with William Weasley, he is prepared to be employed by either the school as Defense teacher this year or by the Order as Curse Breaker with Moody's help to go hunting in Albania to discover the Dark Lord's location." Severus inclined his head then sat forward abruptly, leaning on his knees for a moment before standing.

"It's the best we can do then I've kept you for too long, I'll be in my quarters should you need me." Severus stiffly smoothed his coat taking long enough for Albus to wearily get to his feet, not wanting to make the older wizard feel embarrassed for his ever encroaching age by not giving him enough time to be a proper host and show his guest to the door. Albus laughed to himself at Severus's aversion for long goodbyes, when he was finished speaking with you he was done, and took his leave quickly.

"Have a good night Severus, I thank you for helping an old man organize his thoughts, my mind was feeling a wee bit stretched." Dumbledore open the door that led from his sitting room into his office and Severus saw himself the rest of the way out.

Albus knew the real reason he was feeling pressure and needed to talk it out, though Severus wasn't aware that the wizened wizard had puzzled out the identity of the woman in his journal. In less than a month's time a young girl nearly twelve years old would enter Hogwarts and begin her life as a muggleborn witch, the same girl who had grown, in a previous life, into a woman who Severus had bound his soul to and for whom he sacrificed everything to turn back time to save her.

While Dumbledore was able to ease his emergent feelings of distress, Severus still couldn't get completely settled. So he resolved that what he really needed was to talk to Hermione about what to expect from the young Miss Granger who was about to begin school in little more than a month's time, needing to figure out how he was going to deal with that situation.

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_Hermione ran through a field of wildflowers, twirling and swishing her magic wand with its golden glowing star shaped tip, tapping blossoms at random and changing them to vibrant and fantastical colors. Little fountains of multicolored sparkles fell from the tip with every flick, as she skipped along carelessly. The sky suddenly darkened ominously, and she whirled around coming face to face with a huge black dragon whose wide sweeping tail and sharp bloody talons raked the field causing complete destruction. It roared ferociously and burned a swath around it, everything turning to ash and billowing smoke. Hermione's heart thudded wildly in her chest but, though she was afraid she remembered the power at her fingertips and brandished her wand in a sweeping slash before her and the dragon stepped backwards to avoid her magic. It was then she saw the poor creature limp as it retreated and saw the tree sized thorn embedded deeply in its claw. The dragon jerked it's paw up and tried to grab hold of the offending thorn but it slipped between its massive razor sharp teeth, causing it to then rake the ground again with its talons in fury and pain. Had she not seen the cause of its actions she would have thought the dragon was being hostile and lashed out with her magic wand once more. Instead feeling sympathy for it, she flourished her wand and banished the thorn. The moment the thorn was gone, the smoke converged on the dragon and whirled into a vortex before dissipating abruptly, revealing a tall dark man whose feature she could not make out. His black eyes bored into her very soul with an indecipherable expression for what seemed an eternity before he turned and fled, his black cloak flapping and billowing behind him as he quickly sought to be rid of her. _

_"Wait!" Hermione cried out. She had to catch him this time; every time she saw him in her dreams, she felt the pull to follow him. Hermione broke into a sprint and moments later, she was no longer in a field but running down long stone corridors. She heard a door creak then slam and she dove quickly down a side corridor following the sound. At the end she opened a heavy door and paused at the dark room that was behind it before waving her wand again and changing it from night to day, bright sunlight poured though long cathedral windows. At the end of a huge room that looked like an empty ballroom with enormous fireplaces long windows and ancient paintings covering the walls, she saw a small curved entryway at the opposite end of the room and a black cloak disappearing around the corner. She broke into a fast run and waved her wand again and reappearing at the doorway, she rushed around the corner and lunged forward grabbing a fistful of the wispy cloak_

_"Who are you?" She asked just as she felt the tug of the fabric, it was ripped from her hands as the tall dark man whirled to face her. She met endless black eyes and heard her name._

"Hermione." The voice was that of a woman and Hermione shook her head in confusion closing her eyes briefly to try to dispel it. When she opened her eyes again she was blearily greeted with her mother's smiling face surrounded by short curls.

"Hermione, wake up! Remember we are going to get your school things today. I can't believe you overslept today of all days. Out of bed sleepy head." Helen Granger chanted airily as she went to her daughter's window and opened the curtains. Hermione groaned and rubbed her eyes, once again her dream of chasing the black cloaked man ended just as she was about to get her answers. She really hated dreams, they were so unfulfilling. Seeing her daughters grumpy face Helen laughed and headed for the bedroom door,

"Come on, looks like a nice hot shower will do you good. Your father's almost got breakfast on, so don't be too long." She called over her shoulder. Hermione rolled out of bed and followed her mother out of her room. Really, she was very excited about everything; she still could hardly wrap her head around it all. She just was not an excitable person in the morning until she felt more human and she forcibly pulled her brain from sleep into wakefulness.

Hermione turned the shower on and while she waited for the water to warm, she looked at her reflection. Her wild untamed mass of curls inherited from her mother stuck out in haphazard directions, and she sighed as she half-heartedly tried to smooth them. She looked this way and that at her reflection. She didn't look any different since she'd learned that she was really a witch. She winced again at the word.

_Witch._

It had so many negative connotations it was hard to accept it as a word that described her, it immediately drew her mind back to the dark ages and women burnt at the stake when accused of witchcraft and devil worship.

_Magical._

That was a better word; it was the word she'd held onto as she tried to reconcile the life altering discovery. It wasn't at all that hard to accept that she was a witch, it actually confirmed all the strange things that had happened in her life, and in such stark clarity it was almost as if she was seeing clearly for the first time.

Staring at her reflection, she wondered if maybe this time she would finally fit in. Maybe she would find something in common with other magical people that she'd been unable to find with the normal kids her age at school. She had a few friends, if one could count elderly neighbors and her parents' collegues and acquaintances as friends of an eleven year old. She'd always gotten on better with adults she would have conversations with them for hours about all kinds of things. Usually when talking to kids her age she ended up sounding extremely bossy when she failed to find a way to come up with interesting small talk.

When the mirror began to fog up she realized she'd been standing in front of the mirror for too long and quickly finished her showering routine before dressing and joining her parents downstairs for breakfast. When she entered the kitchen, she could tell right away she'd interrupted her parents conversation, one that they didn't want to have around her and her knowledge of this made the unease in the room palpable as she took her seat. Hermione chewed her lip as she tried to get up the courage to ask the one question that had been on her mind since Professor McGonagall had showed up on their doorstep. Once everyone was seated at the breakfast table with food in front of them ready to be eaten, Hermione finally managed to find her voice.

"You aren't disappointed in me are you, for being a witch? I mean, I wouldn't change it now that I know that I am, but I don't want to let either of you down." Hermione confessed and looked down at her plate prodding her food with her fork.

"Not at all Hermione!" Her father John exclaimed vehemently. Her mother echoed his response.

"Love, we are only concerned. We are worried about you going off to live in a completely different world from us." Helen told her, her eyes welled with tears as she smiled at her daughter. John leaned forward and grabbed Hermione's hand from across the table.

"In a way we've both been wishing we were magical too, so that we could hang on to you a little longer and be a part of your life. Just promise us that you will still have time for dear ol' non-magical mum and dad, okay?" John winked at his daughter. Hermione smiled and nodded happily and then the small family tucked into their breakfast. The meal punctuated with animated conversation and excitement for their upcoming expedition to discover the secret magical world that Hermione would be joining.

Pulling out her letter from Hogwarts, Hermione re-read the address for the dingy looking shop front that they stood in front of for what felt like the hundredth time.

"No, this is the right address." Hermione told her parents and then joined their doubtful expressions as they looked at the broken down shop front that looked like it had not had a new paint job in more than a few centuries. The sign of a witch stirring a cauldron clearly read "The Leaky Cauldron'. However, even this wasn't what finally convinced them to cross the street and enter. It was seeing a very out of place man step out of an alleyway just further down the street, dressed in the same strange robes that Professor McGonagall had worn, he briskly made his way to the shop entrance and stepped inside. The three of them looked at each other questioningly, and by consensus of their expressions finally accepted that they had come to the right place. With trepidation, they crossed the street and entered the shop.

A few steps in they felt completely transported to another time. The inside of the shop was actually an inn, complete with a pub on the ground floor as a social area. Hermione was sure they'd come to the right place when she saw a floating tea kettle zooming around refilling cups for the few occupants that looked to have just fallen out of bed. Helen was staring interestedly at the enchanted broom that swept past them cleaning on its own, while John had his eyes riveted on the posters on the wall next to his shoulder that were moving, their occupants waving back at him when they caught him staring.

As Hermione and her parents stood a few steps into the doorway agog at the sights, a hunchbacked man with a crisp white apron on shuffled up to them.

"Ah I see, first time to Diagon Alley?" He asked them and they all nodded at him fighting to pull their eyes off the wonders they saw and give him their attention. Helen and John looked wide-eyed at him and the man flashed a toothless grin nodding his head toward Hermione, "I take it the young miss here will be needing her supplies for Hogwarts?"

"Yes, we've come to collect her school things." John said remembering his manners he looked directly at the smiling innkeeper. "John Granger, my wife Helen, and our daughter Hermione." He introduced them offering to shake the other man's hand, who accepted it vigorously.

" 'ello, me name's Tom. I'm the owner of the establishment. Is the family here for a day trip or will ye be needing a room overnight?" He asked his ready smile still on his face as he looked at each of them. Helen found her voice amid her amazement, and shook his hand as well.

"No thank you Tom, we're only here for the day. We were told we could get to Diagon Alley from here?" She asked for clarification. Tom patted her hand and pulled her arm through his rather heroically, Helen looked over her shoulder at John and flashed him a wide grin at the man's show of chivalry.

"This way my lady, why your husband is one lucky man to have two such beauties in 'is life." He said as he led her to the back room with Hermione and her father in tow who shared a snicker at Helen's grin to them.

"Here we are." Tom said, they stopped in front of a brick wall of a small courtyard off the back of the inn, with a beat up dustbin next to the wall when Hermione remembered her letter, and pulled it out quickly.

"Yes, it's says here we have to tap the stones anticlockwise from the trash can, three up and two across." Hermione read to them quickly. Tom nodded to Hermione still smiling and reached a gnarled knuckled finger up to the brick pointing it out to the family looking back to make sure he had their attention, then showing them the tapping pattern , touching only on bricks that seemed to look a bit more worn than the rest with his wand. The wall then shifted and the bricks reformed themselves into an archway and Tom stood to the side his eyes shining with joy at seeing their amazed faces as they took in the sight of Diagon Alley for the first time.

"Welcome to Diagon Alley. Off you go now, Gringott's bank will be where ye want to go first to exchange yer muggle money." He told them John frowned as he herd the unfamiliar word again, and turned to Tom.

"Muggle?"

"Oh right, non-magical. Your daughter would be considered 'muggle born', since I assume both you and the Missus are both non-magical?"

"Yes that's right." Helen answered.

"It ain't no matter, some witches and wizards are a bit snobbish about blood, but it's really no different I suppose than muggle act about their royalty, some are pureblood some are half-blood some are muggleborn, but we can all do magic." He winked at them then he turned and went back inside.

Hermione and her parents enjoyed the wonderment of touring and discovery of Diagon Alley that day. It took her parents hours to pull her from Flourish and Blotts, they had indulged her greatly and let her get a collection of books that detailed the history of the magical world. Hermione assumed it was as much for her curiosity as it was their own. When they returned home late that afternoon after a hearty meal at the Leaky, Hermione looked back musing about the day fondly. She had so much to learn about the magical world and after such a day, she was resolved to learn everything she could about it before she left for school on the train in a month's time. Hermione lay in bed that night letting her mind wander over all the wondrous discoveries.

The whole day at Diagon Alley was like something out of her fantasy stories. Her parents had always been very strict about the amount of fiction she read always instilling in her the importance of reading non-fiction. However she smiled as she remembered how neither of them could ever deny her the mysterious books of fantasy stories that she'd found every summer, tucked into a little crevice in the trunk of the upside-down tree in Hyde park.

She loved how the tree was so unique and beautiful and was glad that it thrived as a symbol that 'different' could fit into their world too. It was her favorite place to play and read for as long as she could remember. She would take her latest book and go sit inside its little bubble of seclusion where she could lose herself in the words on the page and the reality that they created inside her mind.

It started one summer when she'd been particularly struggling in primary school with making friends), her father had taken her to Hyde Park and they talked through what had happened at school that day. He'd told her she was just different, unique and because she was different the other children didn't understand how to accept her. She remembered her father kissing her forehead and encouraging her to be herself, always. Then, someone her father had gone through Dental school with saw them and stopped to chat, Hermione remembered slipping off to go walk peacefully under her favorite tree and just let her worries melt away.

She still remembers the smell of cedar and herbs on the wind that day how lovely it was sending her mind off into a fantasy story of unicorns and enchanted forests, and feeling like fresh air was exactly what she needed. Hermione ran her hand along the trunk of the tree as was her ritual and studying the collection of hearts and names written and carved into the bark. She came to the little crevice in the trunk, her fingers tingled, and as she looked, she saw that there was a very old leather-bound book full of fantasy stories that she'd never heard of before; they were utterly magnificent.

Hermione smiled at the memory, every summer following that just before school would end she would beg her parents for a weekend trip and was pleased to find another book waiting for her in the little crevice. The third year, when she was ten years old, she came prepared and left her favorite non-fiction book on science with a little hand written note inside that said how important it was for a person to have a healthy balance of non-fiction with their fiction stories. As she remembered the most recent book she received in reply to her last gift, she knew that whoever was leaving the books had intended it for her. She pulled it out and read the short inscription inside the cover that read:

"For a healthy balance." Was written in a spiky script. The book itself looked to be well-used and was very old; it was an encyclopedia of 'The Flora of Great Britain' with pen sketches of specimens and even a few notes scribbled in the margins in many different types of handwriting, almost like it had been passed down through a family, with each generation adding notes. Most of the notes were little annotations of new discoveries of the medicinal properties of the plants.

When she got home she'd discovered, tucked away in the pages, a dried orchid that was extremely rare according to the notes on the pages where she found it. Her mother had helped her frame the rare flower to keep it intact and Hermione kept it sitting on her bedside table these last few months, and she fell asleep that night admiring it's exotic beauty.

* * *

Severus paced his sitting room; he could not resolve within him his warring thoughts and opinions about the twelve-year-old girl that he would meet in a month. He still couldn't bear the idea of being soul bound to someone so young, but even more than that he couldn't bear the thought of never getting to know her as an adult in the future. The wizarding world was still such a dangerous place for a muggle born witch; the Dark Lord was still out there alive and searching for a way to regain his power, and he knew that she'd not survived it in the first timeline. The only thing he'd ever been able to settle on with these conflicting thoughts was the conviction that he was willing to spend his life trying to keep her safe, until the time when she would be old enough for him to look at her any differently than someone he'd die to protect. He considered himself a sort of protector, someone watching over her and nothing more. This was mostly because some part of him still rebelled against the notion of being bound to her without her knowledge, he wanted it to be her choice not something forced on her and he secretly wished for her to fall in love with someone her own age, just to prove that she could The romantic part of him even welcomed the idea of her gaining affection from another, to experience the thrill of winning her love, just to make it more real to him.

It was true that he would lead a lonely life if the girl did manage to find another, but he felt he could be content with the shard of Hermione that he had. More than once he had felt very grateful for having her to keep him strong, without her, he would never have been able to face his guilt with equanimity. Hermione's shard helped him to accept his mistakes and deal with the darkness that he was forced to live with. She held his hand through the worst of it reassuring him that he was still loved, and he was still worthy of it. He knew all too well the state of mind he would be in without her. He'd spent so much time inside his alternates memories, experiencing first-hand what he'd felt, and committing the crimes he committed, that he was intimately aware just how lucky he was to have Hermione's shard there to center and ground him when the nightmares plagued his mind.

Hermione sensed his agitation, and held her silence waiting to see if he managed to reconcile his thoughts and decide on his path. She was not surprised when he finally spoke to her with a determined edge in his tone, knowing that this time he would not settle for sweet words and romantic ideas as he had in the past to appease her.

"I cannot accept that she is so young, and didn't choose this. I'm not a believer in fate, everything about our situation would make it seem like fate or destiny for her and I to be together, and that turns my stomach. Where is her choice? Where was yours? Severus asked. He'd asked her many times before and she'd placated him with flowery words that she knew didn't fool him but that he'd accepted at the time, never forcing her admit aloud that she didn't want to tell him. She was afraid to tell him her story, she knew him well enough to believe that he would take it as justification for his reasons to push the younger Hermione away. However, she felt it was time at least to show him how mistaken he had realized that decision was the first time.

"Come then, it's time I showed you." Hermione answered and she called out through their bond willing him to take up the journal so she could show him her memory of the day they both finally knew what they had between them. Severus retrieved the journal then situated himself comfortably in his favorite chair near the unlit fireplace; it was cool inside the bowels of the castle where the heat of the summer sun had trouble permeating. He'd returned to the castle earlier that day from spending his summer at Morgraig in Cardiff and was glad to be back inside the familiar walls of the enchanted castle again. He caressed the journal cover and felt the familiar tingle across his senses; it was as close as he'd ever get to really physically touching her, and if the idea didn't make him cringe for the sentimentality that it would display, he'd hug the journal just to be able feel his arms around some part of her. It was such a strange sensation for his soul to feel so close to her, and yet for his arms to ache from the need to hold her. He opened the journal and let himself fall into her memory, paying close attention as she weaved it into a narrative for him allowing him to hear her thoughts as he watched.

* * *

An inexplicable wave a relief washed over her when she saw the black robed figure approaching her tentatively in this book-filled palace where she'd sought refuge. She struggled to get control over her tears, feeling as if she'd been crying for an eternity and shouldn't have any tears left. He'd called her Hermione, it must be her name, she mused. She felt disoriented realizing she'd not been able to remember even her own name. However, once he said it she knew it must have been hers; hearing it nudged something in the swirling fog of her disjointed thoughts and absent memories.

She realized she wasn't really listening to the words he was saying just letting the familiar timber of his voice soothe and calm her. When he reached out for her she felt such relief, wanting nothing more than to feel his strong arms around her making her feel safe again. She lunged forward and burrowed into his chest, welcoming the feelings of comfort that came from knowing he was concerned for her and had come to find her and keep her safe. When he pulled back, she saw his confusion and waited expectantly for whatever it was he had to say.

Ms. Granger, he called her this time and she cocked her head to the side at the familiarity of it, as she watched him scan her face hopefully for signs of understanding. Hermione thought deeply for a moment considering the situation. She understood what he was saying and she knew she could speak, and again when he used her formal name it was as if he'd been reminding her that it was her name.

"Who are you?" She asked studying his face, he seemed so familiar yet she could not figure out why. Being in his embrace had been just as familiar; as if she'd known that feeling, out of all the things that she didn't know right now that he would protect her, that he always protected her. Hermione tried to sort this out when she realized he was answering her question. She almost missed his quick correction and sidestep around telling her his name, but was at a lost on how to answer with what had happened. Her only memory was of agonizing pain and terror, and thinking back on those things brought tears to her eyes again. Taking a moment she assessed herself and realized that there was no more pain, maybe a slight ache remained, but even that was fading and mostly gone. Her 'friend' in black assured her there would not be any more pain and she believed him wholeheartedly, somehow knowing instinctively that he would never hurt her or let her be hurt if he could prevent it.

"I found a beautiful place a lot like this one, however it's been destroyed and needs to be rebuilt. Will you come help me fix it?" Hermione wanted nothing more than to spend more time with him since he'd made her feel safe and brought her out of confusion and pain. She gave him an open smile, delighted at the invitation.

"Yes, I want to go see it."

He stood up, then smiled back at her holding out his hand, "Come. This way."

They walked at an easy pace and the world around them slowly became brighter and warmer in color. They conversed lightheartedly and Hermione basked in the pleasant emotions that were roiling through her, he seemed to exude confidence and power and it felt like a balm against all the terror that had left her nerves frayed as she clung ever tighter to his arm while they talked. She'd noticed a faint smile on his face earlier, wanting to see it again she goaded it out of him, happy to see him respond to her banter.

"You always were an insufferable know it all." He suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and paused. Hermione felt his trepidation and worry over the insult delivered in a playfully snide, almost affectionate way, and the feeling brought her up short.

_She felt him?_ Hermione wondered. She removed her arm from his and immediately the extra emotions were gone. She didn't know why but this struck her as not a normal thing.

_A person doesn't feel another person emotions. Did they? _Hermione chewed her lip as she tried to sort out how she could know something that she didn't know until she was reminded, it was so confusing. When he prompted her out of her thoughts, she explained her observations.

"I just realized I could feel you, but not in a tactile way. I could feel your emotions." Hermione explained slowly, still trying to find a way to articulate the experience. She laughed and pulled at her hair in frustration when he spoke of occluding and barriers, the words once more tickling her mind in a strange sort of déjà vu; it was maddening not being able to remember. She explained this to him and asked,

"What is this place?"

"This is a projection of your unconscious mind." He said with a gesture for them to resume their journey. Abashedly she asked to continue arm in arm, and was relieved to see that he didn't think of her as weak for wanting to enjoy the comfort of his protection …

_And affection? That is interesting. He is very timid around me as if I am fragile; I wonder if he is something, I have forgotten too. I bet he is someone very important to me. _Hermione's internal musing wandered as he explained what had happened and she figured out that he was inside her mind and they were conversing as one soul to another. Yep. That made everything she'd realized thus far make much more sense, it explained why she felt such a strong familiarity to him, and she surmised that they must have been very close to have such a strong resonance between their souls.

He explained the nature of his soul inside her mind and that his form would appear, as she perceived him. She frowned as she thought on this, _if she were to imagine how he looked based on what she perceived of him she certainly wouldn't look so severe and sad_. Though she had to admit there was a sense of sad loneliness about him that lingered at the edges of what she felt from him. However, more than anything else, she felt his sort of desperation to connect with her and it just made her heart ache for him, and made her wonder how long she'd been broken and lost in her mind, how long had he been worrying and all alone? After a little experimenting, they learned he had as much control over his own image as she did and he quickly resumed his stark contrasting countenance. She giggled and stepped closer to him admiring the detail of the tiny buttons on his frock coat, with their little silver ouroboros engraved on them.

"Do you have an obsession with buttons?" She asked when she saw more buttons on the cuffs of his sleeves and trousers. She smiled up at him, and when their eyes met, she felt the warm surge of desire coil within him and felt her skin tingle and grow hot in answer. His eyes fluttered briefly, as the feeling overwhelmed him for a moment and then she felt his shame and embarrassment. Amused and slightly concerned that he was so bashful about her knowing that he desired her as much as she did him, she watched him struggle for control.

"Hermione, I apologize. I didn't - I." he stuttered in embarrassment, removing her hand from his chest then holding his arms stiffly away from her at his sides careful not to touch her. He took a deep breath and continued,

"It's very important that we do not let our emotions get out of hand. We are both in a precarious position being exposed to each other's psyche like this, but you more than I. You do not have your memories to inform and guide your actions. I do not want to abuse your ignorance. Being in contact with you so openly seems to have altered my regard for you, and I reacted that way rather unexpectedly. Again, I apologize. It would be very easy to form a very permanent and irreversible bond that comes with consequences which, when restored to your memories, you would not wish to live with." Hermione didn't understand and she eyed him with a deep frown as she sorted her thoughts;

_If this were my soul, or the thing that governs my identity and contains all of my natural, and innate instincts and understandings as he has explained, then why would my memories change how I feel about him? Why would I be ashamed of or regret my affection, dare I say love, for the dark, somber man?_ As she said the 'L' word in her mind she felt with an overpowering conviction that she did love him and that she refused to hide it. She responded to him with indignation,

"How can my memories change how I feel?" Then as she said the words, she realized that he was only trying to imply caution, she truly was very vulnerable without her memories. She considered that if their roles were reversed, she too would advise full disclosure before giving way to passion so easily. Her emotional self mentally stamped her foot angrily at her cursed logical mind. However, there was one thing both sides could agree on, it was time to remember, she was tired of the confusion and she decided at that moment that she wanted to know everything. A faint rustling of papers in the wind registered in the back of her mind but she put the distracting noise on hold, determined to rectify the source of her confusion.

"I want to know who you are Severus." Hermione said with exasperation, "I want to know why you seem convinced I will regret being close to you and allowing us to understand this... connection. I know you can feel it, so don't deny it." The fluttering sound grew louder and punctuated his argument.

"I couldn't deny it if I wanted to, considering how we broadcast our emotions if we touch in any way. Please, understand me; it would be unfair to you for me not to warn you. Your feelings may very well change. You might trust me right now and be able to like me on some level because we can have a nice chat together, but you don't know me." Severus said emphatically. Hermione tossed her head in annoyance and looked away; she saw a large sheaf of papers fluttering in the breeze on a stone bench. Going over to investigate them, his voice came over her shoulder sounding quiet and strangled as if he feared what she would find within the pages.

"Your subconscious is responding to your wishes. These are memories, and experiences pertaining to me. I believe you need only pick them up." Hermione frowned at the title written on the top of the pages before attempting to pick them up, looking back at him questioningly.

"Professor?"

"I was your teacher. Take them, see for yourself." He told her then he turned away and left her to peruse them privately. With extreme trepidation, Hermione picked up the stack of papers. When her fingers touched the pages her mind was flooded with the memories as if they had just happened with only a moment in time passing. She saw her fierce, scowling professor, how cruel he was and how he singled out her best friend and directed a vicious anger towards him. He was severe and venomous sending harsh jibes at her verbatim answers. However, at the same time he seemed to be hiding leading or encouraging notes in his scathing criticism of her assignments; if she squinted her eyes and looked at them sideways. Then she saw herself flushing and getting flustered in his class when their eyes met a few years later, felt her skin burn and tingle with arousal whenever she recognized his scent wafting by her in the hall.

Hermione gasped when she saw the memory of a dark night in the summer of her fourth year.

**_She was surrounded by a sea of silver masked faces in their center was Voldemort's gleefully glowing red eyes and inhuman features. The black hooded crowd parted and looked surprised but relieved to see her professor's impassive face. His intensely dark eyes bore into her and she saw him struggle to relay a message to her, trying to wordlessly urge her to keep calm as he negotiated for her release. When Lord Voldemort began his propaganda speech to his followers, the professor managed to covertly enter her mind to calm her, she couldn't contain her relief she threw her incorporeal form into his arms. She thanked him profusely and felt his emotions for the first time. He was terrified and very angry. She stepped back releasing her grip on him in the face of his anger and her fear heightened at feeling his terror. She promised profusely that she wouldn't give him away, that she would die before she confessed that he was a spy. His cutting reply stunned her both then and now as she remembered the encounter._**

**_"You silly little girl, that's exactly what I'm trying to prevent. I don't fear my end, I welcome it. Just do your best to play along, as they would expect you to. Be as afraid of me just as you are of them. Show them your shock at my betrayal. Hurry now, I must leave. Are you ready?" She nodded and he left her mind in a swirl of black smoke. _**

**_The rest for the memory was a daze of pain and torture at his hand and the others until he finally managed to convince Voldemort to use her to gather information from Harry about his private meetings with Dumbledore. Voldemort agreed and so pleased was he with his plan that he ordered Severus to be her handler. As they went to leave, Voldemort placed an unfamiliar curse on her, trailing his evil wand down her spine._** **_Hermione relived the sickening dread she felt when her body become intensely aroused and worried once more that this was going to be a horrifying end for her. _**

**_"A gift, for my ever loyal servant, Severus. I know you have no qualms against her muggle beginnings, enjoy her. Merlin knows you've been celibate for far too long."_** **_Voldemort hissed malevolently and he grasped Severus's forearm digging his fingers into the flesh near his cloth cover Dark Mark._**

The memory ended abruptly as the next page of it was missing from the stack. Hermione could easily surmise what might have happened afterward but she didn't want to believe that he would ever take advantage of her in that way.

The next memory she was standing in Dumbledore's office, listening to Professor Snape rage about the injustice of something, and she had to listen closely to decipher what he was talking about. Finally, her memory-self spoke up and asked for clarification on what they were discussing.

_"Ms. Granger, Professor Snape is upset because of the inappropriate connection which you two now share. It's called a Soul Imprint, and is the precursor to binding ones soul to their life mate, a long forgotten and mostly abandoned practice I might add." the headmaster explained. Professor Snape interrupted before anyone could say more._

**_"Obliviate us Albus. She is too young to be imprinted on someone like me. If you take away the memory of it we'll not remember the bond and will be better equipped to fight off any wayward impulses to strengthen it."_** **_He shot Hermione a dark look then continued, " Not to mention I couldn't live with myself if I had to remember what I've done to her every time I saw her…"_** **_He stopped and grimaced his face turning green, and choked out quietly. "She is too young Albus I can't bare the thoughts, the images, please." he begged. The headmaster gave the younger man a sympathetic look and took note of Hermione's bright red complexion as she tried to hide her embarrassment behind her bushy curls._**

**_"Quite right, I believe it would be for the best." Moments later the headmaster cast an extensive Obliviate on her and sent her off to her dormitory a bit dazed. _**

The memories ended and Hermione suddenly realized the problem. He was ashamed and repulsed by the thought of having feelings for her, even though they shared a Soul Imprint. It was obvious to her now why he did not want to further that imprint by indulging in the affection and desires that were growing between them. It wrenched at her heart and she couldn't hold back the tears at knowing that she would never feel connected to him, he would always see her as his student even if she was nearing twenty now, he'd always hold her distant from him. She tried to hide her face and her tears from him as he turned towards her.

"Ms. Granger?" he inquired softly. Hermione looked up at him with a frown at being addressed so formally, he'd called her Hermione why would he stop now if only to be sure to force the barrier of separation between them.

"So, you understand me now?" he said with coldness to his voice that had since been absent, and Hermione wilted inside at being correct.

"No. I have memories of you which are so different from one another that I can't make you out." Hermione replied despondently "I need more information."

"You would." Severus scoffed then sighed. "There is all your information." Pointing to the left of him at the ruins, then gesturing for her to proceed ahead of him, "Are you ready to begin, Ms. Granger?" She met his eyes defiantly and stood up in a huff, gathering the pile of papers next to her.

"Certainly, Headmaster." Hermione threw back at him, disgruntled that he was forcing them to take up a professional distance and hoping her tone gave the same bite to him that his had done to her, then she stalked past him. She listened to his instructions and found that his theories proved correct and for the most part easy to put into practice, she did feel some fatigue and energy loss at the efforts.

With determination, she tackled the memory sorting and along the way collected all of the memories she could find of her professor. She was a little surprised to discover more Obliviated memories. Only this time she wasn't sad when she saw them, she was angry.

However, they still sensed the pull to each other, even after the Obliviate and one fateful day in potions class sparked an unforeseeable chain of events that one could easily point to as proof of their fate, or doom depending on who you ask, to end up together.

**_He hovered beside her in class observing her perfect potion, when his aroma washed over her olfactory senses. Chills crept down her spine and heat rose to her cheeks as the scent of him so close left her flustered and briefly senseless, as it had for some time now. Hermione froze as she frantically thought of when things had changed to make her react to him in such a way. She had nearly ruined her potion when her stirring wavered and rather tellingly, he quickly saved her from receiving her first and only failing grade by steading her hand and continuing the vigorous stirring with his hand clasped tightly over hers. They experienced an aching feeling of loss when their hands met catching them both by surprise; they looked at each other in shock. Hermione desperately wanted him to lean in closer, kiss her, and ease the ache away when his rumbling low baritone vibrated through her chest from his shoulder pressed against hers. _**

_"Focus, Ms. Granger." He said then he released her hand and then swooped down on Neville who was about to add a very dangerous and incorrect ingredient to his cauldron. _

**_That single encounter had Hermione searching high and low for information on life debts; she was convinced that what she felt was an unfulfilled life debt for the many times he has saved her life. He brewed the potion to fix her failed polyjuice attempt, he brewed the one that returned her from being petrified, and he threw himself in front of Professor Remus turned werewolf. _**

Hermione didn't know it then, but she now added that he'd saved her from Voldemort when they kidnapped her before her fifth year, and concluded that must be why she felt such a strong pull to him, because she owed him a very powerful life debt, wondering what effect that could have on the soul imprint they formed later. Hermione searched her memories as she organized them into her mind's library, looking for everything that she had studied and learned about life debts and all forms of magical bonds.

She came across memories of a small unfamiliar bedroom, the only memories she found were ones of her reading a hand written tome that she'd found hidden in the back of the armoire of the room where she was staying, strangely she couldn't find anything about where this room existed. The book detailed vaguely the powers of the mind called The Praesum, written by some ancient Prince ancestor. Hermione now understood why Professor Snape was a master Occlumen's, since she'd learned that he was the last of the Prince line in the last school term, but this got her wondering at how he didn't seem too familiar with the soul magic within their minds. She'd studied the book in that room, in that place she didn't recognize and taught herself Occlumency.

Hermione was dumbfounded by this memory because of what she had been through earlier that very day; she'd been suffering torture from Bellatrix until she learned completely by accident how to slip behind her occlusions, and block the pain. Her confusion stopped there as a sudden realization hit her.

_If I had occlusions already built for me to slip behind, then why didn't I remember that I could occlude? I thought I'd discovered it by accident but no, I must have already learned how and then forgotten._ She concluded. _Or you were Obliviated again_, another voice in her head supplied and she cursed as she realized the truth.

Determinedly she tried to find the missing memories, quickly trying to figure out how it was that she found those first memories from Dumbledore's Obliviate. Those memories appeared to her after she had wanted nothing more than to know the truth. She focused on that feeling again and soon pages were fluttering to her outstretched hands and filling in all the missing gaps.

_Unbelievable_. Hermione thought when she saw them, but then snorted internally as she reevaluated, thinking that it was exactly what he would do and was not quite so unbelievable after all.

**_Hermione had worked her way behind his austere rigid distance from everyone the summer before and during her sixth year; until that fateful night that he fled the castle. He was under immense stress and Hermione at the time could see his need for some connection to make him feel human again and had given it to him, over time her efforts warmed his cold forced distance. Even still, she felt that had she tried to kiss him at any other time, and without the help of the Felix Felicis, he would have hexed her down to a grease stain on the floor. Surprisingly however he had reciprocated, and all the while, both of them were still oblivious to their imprint and unknowingly making it stronger every time they touched._**

**_Hermione didn't need his words to know what he felt for her, as his fierce devotion and affection crashed over her senses the instant their lips met. In the end, it was feeling his need and his sorrow that had broken her heart and not the spell he'd cast to make her forget; because her soul could not forget that pain or the grasp that it had on her forever urging her to soothe it. When he pulled away from that kiss, he spoke so quietly she almost didn't hear him, his voice breaking from his raw emotions._**

**_"Thank you. Please, forgive me." He aimed his wand at the back of her head and Obliviated her of their entire friendship leading up to and including their kiss. As he pushed her out of his office, he whispered in her ear, _**

**_"Believe in me Hermione, I'm not a murderer." Then he closed the door behind her, moments later Luna rounded the corner._**

**_"Hermione, you got here quickly. I thought you didn't agree with watching Professor Snape?" Taking in Hermione's foggy expression Luna just shrugged and pulled her down the corridor to a darkened window nook where they could hide and watch the Professors door in secret. _**

**_"Come on, don't stand in front of his door what if he opens it?" Luna whispered to her and they stood watch for hours until Professor Flitwick arrived with news of the Death Eaters invasion bursting into Professor Snape's office. After he ordered the girls to look after their charms professor, he met Hermione's eyes with a sad and desolate expression before whirling off in a billow of black robes to face his fate_**_. _

As Hermione relived the memories of Dumbledore's death she finally realized why she could never come to terms with what he had done, why she could never quiet the voice that told her to believe in him, he was no murderer.

Hermione felt for sure she knew exactly who and what he was now, her mind replayed everything that she remembered about him and she carefully assessed her feelings. Nothing had changed; she felt still felt that inexorable tug pulling her towards him. The thought of carrying all of her newly remembered information around in secret broke her heart all over again, and this time she knew that is what she had been suffering from all along.

She watched him covertly as he walked among the isles of books, while she completed her task. When she saw him gazing apprehensively at her memories of Dumbledore's death she could not hold her silence any longer. She couldn't go on letting him believe that she thought he was a murderer, she was determined to show him every memory he'd taken from her. She knew that he wouldn't be able continue pretending if she showed him that she knew it all, that he'd be unable to deny his feelings here with no mask to hide behind, with her soul embracing his.

* * *

It was fairly obvious to Severus when he came out of the memory, or rather was pushed out by a surprisingly bashful Hermione, what had happened after she and her Professor sank to the floor of her library in a passionate embrace. She'd showed him everything that lead up to their soul bonding, placing particular emphasis on how many times they futilely attempted to resist their imprint willfully or magically. In the end, he understood that Hermione was trying to impress on him to just let events unfold between himself and the younger Hermione, and let what would happen, happen and not try to force anything one way or another. He had half a mind to do just as his former had done and Obliviate himself of his knowledge of the imprint, but he saw how well that had worked out. Instead, he resolved that he would be better off knowing that the imprint was magically enhancing any connection he felt towards the girl, and opted to keep his memories despite the temptations to do otherwise.

Severus finally committed to let go of his anxieties for all the unknowns in the days to come, and retreated to his room replacing Hermione's Journal on his nightstand alongside a muggle science primer. As he undressed for bed he laughed a little when he remembered the message written within the book she'd gifted him, then wondered if the younger Hermione had her first glimpse of Wizarding world yet and how much she'd have enjoyed it. He trailed his fingers down the spines of both books and felt the answering tingle from Hermione's shard then climbed wearily into bed with a relaxed sigh.

**"The lights are all aglow**

**And all the world is waiting."**

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter released. I really hope that the Hermione memory pov wasn't too complicated. That part was really difficult for me to write. I hope it is not confusing. It's Hermione showing/telling Severus her memory of a memory of her reviewing other memories... /facedesk That would explain the migraines I've had all week.

Very big thanks to my beta Kraco and my new secondary beta Bluefirefly5 for reading over the chapter and helping through all the messy bits. Especially send them lots of virtual love, they were very helpful in keeping me from becoming depressed, demotivated, and abandoning this story when I had some mean reviewers.

I admit I'm kind of pathetic, I can't take harsh criticism at all, so pretty please criticize me gently. I want to know flaws in the story that I can fix, but if you have nothing to say but to tell me how awful the story plot is etcetera, I would just ask that you didn't review at all. I mean, I read fan faction too and I've read my share of ones I really didn't like for various reasons but I simply didn't review them. I'm not the kind of person to throw out judgments on something just cause I didn't enjoy it, I just move on. I hope if any of you out there are reading this that really hate it to spare me the hate and just stop reading. Kthxbye

P.S If you haven't yet check out my profile, where I will keep updated links to fan art made for this fiction. There is also a few notes on what idea's I've had banging around my head.

A/N#2: *Note about Horcruxes!

**In short: I'm not following canon on Horcruxes because it didn't make sense the way it was written, I'm going to be telling this part of the story different. **

**LONG EXPLANATION: *****If you don't mind me going on a canon rant, read on, if you care less about my rantings move on and as always... PLEASE REVIEW! ^.^

After extensive research on this I found that in canon Voldemort only has 5 created when he goes to kill Harry in 1982.. the diary, the ring, the cup, the diadem, and the locket... nagini isn't supposed to be created until he is reunited with wormtail and discovers the diary is destroyed around 1993 or '94. To me it seemed like a HUGE plot hole. See according to JKR around 1945ish Tom Riddle suggests to Slughorn that having 7 Horcruxes would be the most powerful ward against death because it was a magical number, but the flaw that I saw was this: Wouldn't you think that after 37 years Voldemort would have ALL 7 created, before he accidentally created the one in Harry? He wanted 7 but after almost 40 years he hadn't managed to get a complete set?

I found a PotterCast interview with JKR where she specifically talks about Horcruxes and the process to create them and it helped me to clear up this problem, she says:

"(on creating a horcux) _I see it as a series of things you would have to do. So you would have to perform a spell. [...] by definition, a Horcrux has to be made intentionally. [...] the receptacle is prepared by dark magic to become the receptacle of a fragmented piece of soul and that that piece of soul is **deliberately detached **from the Master Soul to act as a future safeguard or** anchor to life **and to safeguard against death"_

So for this fiction I've described the killing curse as basically dissipating the soul energy from the body. The killing curse itself is not what splits the soul, but the soul severing charm that is cast before the killing curse to **intentionally** create the horcrux, then there is a biding spell to force the shard of soul into the receptacle. Canon also says that you must kill another to be able to successfully create a horcrux but doesn't detail how or why, so I explain the killing curse and it's relevance to the horcux process as a way for a warlock to survive the process of creating one by using the dissipated soul energy to seal shut wound they created by cutting off part of their soul.

Then we can further note that, if the horcruxes are just anchors for the 'master soul', so to speak, and canon tells us that Voldemort wanted all 7 anchors to make his anchor as strong as he could, then we can safely assume that he would definitely want all 7 created. The problem lies in that at no time in the series did he **knowingly** have all 7 anchors in place. When he tried to kill harry he had 5, he never knew about the one in Harry and it was technically not a real Horcrux since because it was not intentional so it is not counted. Then later he creates Nagini to replace the horcurx he lost with the diary, but that only brings him back up to 5; you could say 6 only if you still count the diary even though it's been destroyed. Now you might argue that the master soul, the piece that fled in that limbo state and had to possess Quirrel to gain strength, was the 7th anchor, but let me ask you this: how does an anchor anchor itself? The definition of an anchor is: something that serves to hold an **object** firmly. The master soul is the object that he is anchoring, logically it doesn't make sense to consider it ALSO an anchor.

When I worked this out I realized that_ if this is correct_ and JKR knew what she was doing and didn't make a math error here (Which I'm skeptical if that's even being possible because it's kind of the center pin to the entire story) then that means...

in canon..

Voldemort's very weak soul is still out there anchored to existence by at least 1 if not 2 unknown horcruxes, and 19 years later Harry's scar doesn't pain him because the fragment of soul in him was destroyed, so he is no longer connected to the Dark Lord.

dun Dun **DUN!**

In my mind, JKR pulled a fast one on us all. What are your thoughts? Please let's discuss! I've had a blast torturing myself trying to logic out her plot. REVIEW!


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